Hi Guys! Thanks to those who are still reading and especially to Kiki and Baby Bambi for leaving a review. I really appreciate them and enjoy reading them.

Baby Bambi, I hope you'll like Stellaride in this one too.

And Kiki, you're right, it's been too long - but don't worry! Casey's coming back soon.

I'm curious who will leave the hundredth review for this story ?!

Chapter LI

Halstead was on his way to get a nap in the on-call room when he got a page. He looked at his device and frowned. The message came from the ICU, to be precise, from Casey's room. He immediately quickened his steps and rushed into the intensive care unit just seconds afterward.

"What's wrong," he asked the nurse, who was standing by Casey's side, stroking his head lightly.

"I think he's waking up," she almost whispered as if she didn't want to speed up the process any further.

Will hurried over to Casey and told her, "page Doctor Choi!"

"Already here," the other man's voice could be heard as he entered the room.

Will nodded at him and informed him, "he's waking up."

Ethan took his place across from Will and observed Casey's eyes moving rapidly under his lids. "Did you decrease the sedation?"

Will shook his head, "No, I haven't. That's all him. It looks like his metabolism is getting stronger, now with most of the poison out of his system. I know it's sooner than we've planned it, but I guess now is as good as later."

Ethan contemplated for a second and then turned to the nurse and asked, "do we have the latest blood gas?"

She looked at him, "I can look if you want. I am not his actual day nurse. I'm only jumping in during break time. But nothing to be concerned of was passed on to me. He was stable the whole time and looks fine now. He just tried to open his eyes. So I thought I page you since it's documented that that's the plan."

Halstead jumped in and informed her, "That's fine. Let's be cautious and take a new blood gas." Then he put his hand on Casey's shoulder and squeezed it slightly.

"Hey, Casey. This is Will Halstead. You're in the hospital. Don't try to speak. You've had a rough night, but everything is fine now. You're in the ICU."

Dr. Choi let Halstead take the lead on this one. He had the feeling that the captain and his colleague had more history together, and Will knew his case better than he did. So, he gladly stepped aside and stayed prepared just in case a set of extra hands would be needed. But as far as things were going, everything seemed to go smoothly.

The nurse came in with the new blood gas level results, and Ethan took the little sheet and studied it. "Blood gas looks fine," he informed the other doctor. "So, I guess we'll try to get him to wake up on his own terms?"

It was phrased as a question because just at that moment, Casey began to stir a bit more, and his head turned slightly from left to right and back again. Ethan could see the clear struggle Casey was displaying, but Will was adamant about trying and guiding him thru the process of waking up by talking to him.

"Hey Matt, you're just coming out of sedation. You've got a breathing tube down your throat, so don't try to speak. But everything is looking good so far."

A thin film of sweat was visible on the firefighter's forehead. Ethan could see the rising panic on his face, even if his eyes stayed closed. Although pale at the beginning, his skin now looked slightly reddish and reflected the agitation of his emotional state. Dr. Choi heard Will talk to their patient but didn't see any improvement from Matt. He became a little unsure of their approach as he watched the numbers on the heart monitor.

"Heartrate's elevated," he informed his colleague, who instantly tried to soothe his patient once more.

"Matt, calm down. Everything's all right. You're in the hospital. You are intubated."

But Casey's movements became more violent. Will saw how he tried to open his eyes but couldn't muster the strength to do so.

"Casey, don't try to rush it. Keep calm. And focus on my words."

He grabbed Casey's shoulders in both hands and tried to hold him still. His voice was calm and steady as he asked, "Matt? Can you hear me? You're in the hospital."

But the firefighter didn't seem to respond to the reassurance. His heart rate continued to rise, and Dr. Choi sighed while he quit the monitor's alarm.

"Will, his frequency continues to climb. We're now at 130. Should I increase the sedation again?"

Will looked at the numbers himself like he wanted to be sure. But even though his colleague was right, he said, "No. We'll give him a little more time."

Halstead turned to the nurse and told her, "Get Kelly Severide! He's in Room 204 West Wing. Tell him Casey needs him. Hurry!"

She nodded at him and left the room quickly.

"You think that's a good idea?" Ethan asked, a bit stunned. He was never a fan of having loved ones in the room during performing tests or procedures on patients. In most cases, it could add more stress and potential conflicts to everyone involved. And often, he recognized afterward that the patient fell by the wayside.

But obviously, his colleague proved to have another opinion, as he informed him, "Why not. They care about each other. Can't hurt."

Then Will turned his attention back to his patient in front of him.

"Hey, Casey. Severide's on his way. He's okay. You're okay."

While Casey was fighting his way back to consciousness, Severide was occupied with his own battle of thoughts running thru his head. He was pacing up and down the small space of his hospital room. Stella felt herself getting irritated by it but didn't call him out, knowing he needed to get rid of his anger.

Kelly was seemingly still upset about Halstead's mishap. He didn't really know why it bothered him so much.

Would it be that bad if Stella knew?

To be honest, Kelly had thought a couple of times to tell her about the incident. Till now, he hadn't been aware to what an extent these past weeks had affected himself, but more and more, he found himself feeling the need to talk to someone about it, especially to his girlfriend. Even if not with all the details, but at least to the point that Kelly could describe and express his own insecurities and fears a little. He noticed how his nervousness steadily increased, and his worries gradually affected him. This last shift had been an emotional roller coaster for him. Between trying to be a friend to Casey and maintaining somewhat of professionalism in the house, he barely held it together. Boden and Casey arguing in the quarter office had made him realize how out of character his friend's actions had been. And now, with Casey lying in the ICU, unable to communicate and basically non-existent, Severide could feel his own mind finally falling apart.

Maybe talking would help him through it?

Kelly watched Kidd for a moment before turning back to walking back and forth. He noticed her slightly nervous expression, and it added to his guilt.

He hated how he managed to get her worried. She didn't deserve that.

He had told her he would be the better man. The one she deserved, and now, all he did was create a web of white lies and secrets she clearly could notice but didn't call him out on it, just because she was that incredible kind and understanding.

Wouldn't it be in Casey's best interest that his friend and almost guardian for the past few days would keep at least his own mind sane?

And Stella definitely wouldn't think any worse of her Captain. She wouldn't share his secret with anyone else, would she? If Kelly asked her, she wouldn't say a word to anyone. He knew that much. He trusted her blindly on that matter.

Stella's eyes followed an agitated Severide until she finally had enough of it and asked him point-blank, "Kelly, what's going on? Talk to me! Maybe I can help?"

Kelly stopped his pacing and looked at her. "um, nothing. Everything is great."

"Clearly," Stella responded, a bit offended by his answer. She stood up and walked in front of him. "So, basically, you're stomping a hole in this floor for just nothing? Come on. I'm here. Talk to me!"

He looked down, almost ashamed of his actions. She took his hand and reassured him, "I'm not gonna judge. I promise. I just want to help."

He felt how his inner world of emotions began to shake, how he approached an edge that could possibly bring him redemption. But when he looked into Stella's face, he noticed how he began to pull back at the same time.

He was sure Casey would be more than embarrassed if someone knew what he'd done. It was his obligation to protect his captain. He was the lieutenant next to him. In a way, that made him his right-hand man. At least that's how Kelly saw it, and he knew he couldn't just expose his captain like that. So, he decided to sacrifice his own broken mind to save his friend's one.

"Really, it's nothing." He tried once more to deflect but could see her disappointment. "I mean, I'm just worried," he offered just to let her be part of some of his anxiety. "I think Halstead's not up to the task of taking care of Casey. He obviously didn't sleep much that night, and his actions speak for themselves. I don't think he should be Casey's main doctor any longer."

Kidd listened and was glad he finally shared something, although not everything, with her. "Okay, so, say something! Go to April. Maybe she can tell someone who can talk to him."

"I don't know. It's just," Kelly stopped for a second before continuing, "Will knows Casey. And I think Matt's comfortable with him. He kinda trusts him. I've seen it. He reacts a lot better to him than to anyone else."

Kidd sighed and squeezed his hand slightly, "So don't say anything to April, but maybe talk to Will once more. Tell him why you're concerned, and maybe he agrees with you. He could back out and be there for Matt as a friend, just like we are."

She searched for his eyes, and as he finally locked on hers, she told him, "I know you three have some kind of bond going on. Obviously, I don't know what happened, but I'm also not going to pretend I didn't hear what Will said before."

She noticed a slight defensive demeanor on Kelly, so she cleared the air by letting him know, "I can only speculate at this point. But let me tell you, I don't judge. Not about something Casey or you did or didn't do. And if you say that Matt trusts Will, maybe the friend-course is better for now than for him to be his doctor."

Kelly pulled up their entangled hands and placed a soft kiss on hers, "You would make a great lieutenant. You know that, right? Maybe you should consider battling Herrmann on his position."

"I think we have enough tension built up in the house as it is, so thanks for the compliment, but I think I'll pass. At least for now." She smirked at him, "but I like the sound of it: Lieutenant Stella Kidd! Sounds very sophisticated and mature."

Just as Kelly leaned forward to kiss her, the door was thrown open, and a nurse with a slightly flushed head busted in and said, "Mr. Severide, sorry to bother you. But you have to go to the ICU."

Kelly immediately let go of Stella's hand and looked nervously in the direction of the nurse. Before he even knew what was going on, he started walking towards the door. Stella, however, wanted to learn more. "Is this about Matt Casey?"

The nurse nodded, "I think so. Dr. Halstead asked for Mr. Severide. But I don't know anything specific. I just got the call to inform you."

"Okay, thanks!" Kidd hurried to catch up with Severide, who was already halfway to the elevator. "Hey, Kelly! Wait up!"

He could feel hands touching his shoulders. It wasn't uncomfortable, but he felt the urge to stop the touch. His head felt incredibly empty despite so many thoughts circling. He had no idea where he was. His eyes did not obey his command and kept him trapped in a kind of uncertainty he usually wasn't used to. He tried to concentrate on the voices he thought he heard. They sounded muffled and far away. They didn't make sense. Nothing made sense. Where was he? He felt a slight heat on his skin. Was there fire near him? Should he save someone? He tried to lift his head, but like his eyelids, the rest of his body failed him. He tried to concentrate on his upper half since his legs and arms felt strangely detached. His whole neck seemed stiff, and his throat felt strangely tight. Was he breathing at all? He couldn't feel it. Slowly his amazement began to fade, and a strange fear began to spread. Once again, he tried to move, but hands held him down. How many of them were there? His ears started to ring. There was a sound. It was shrill and unnerving, to say the least. Was it a pass alarm? Was it his own? He had to move, he had to see - but he couldn't do either.

His body wasn't his, and he had no idea what was happening, so he decided to let his mind fall apart and to give in to the panic that was steadily rising inside of him. He didn't care anymore. He didn't have the energy in him to fight it. He felt strangely alone, and he was scared.

"Come on, Casey! Calm down! Try to open your eyes. You can do it!" Will urged his patient. He began to shake Matt's shoulders once again with more pressure than maybe necessary. He wanted him to wake up. He needed him to wake up.

"Will, maybe we should wait." Dr. Choi tried again to talk to his colleague, who seemed to act more like a family member than a doctor. "He clearly shows signs of distress. I think he needs a little more time."

Halstead looked at the monitors then at his colleague, "No. He's almost there. I can feel him coming out of it. He's gonna wake up any second."

"Maybe, but his heart rate is up to 170 already, and his rhythm shows SVTs." Ethan tried to reason with the other one, "Look at the monitor!"

"I just did," Will let him know. His voice was full of displeasure.

"And you don't find this concerning at all?" Dr. Choi's question almost sounded like a reproach.

"Then push Amiodarone," Will yelled, annoyed at his colleague.

"Why not up the sedation again and stick to the plan?" Ethan asked, with the same amount of annoyance.

"Because Casey is obviously ahead of our plan and wants to wake up now," Halstead argued.

"And you think your patient is in any condition to make this decision?" Ethan huffed at Will's actions and let him know what he thought, "we're the doctors, Will. We're the ones making the calls for them because they can't do it themselves."

Dr. Choi was adamant about taking the safer route. "I think you're too close to this one. Maybe step aside and let me take over. I'm not as invested."

"If you're not on board, then leave the room! I don't need you questioning my decisions. I can manage this alone," huffed Will.

"Doctor Halstead," the nurse called. Will looked up and saw a nervous-looking Severide entering the room. "Um, Mr. Severide's here," the nurse finished her sentence.

"What's going on," Kelly asked as he took in the scene presented before him. Casey was struggling in his bed, and the shrieking sound from his heart monitor added to the already tense feeling in the room.

"What happened?" Kelly asked once more, his voice full of fear.

Halstead looked at him and let him know, "don't worry! Matt's trying to wake up. He seems slightly anxious about it, and I thought you might help us calm him down a bit."

Kidd nudged a lightly unsettled Kelly in the direction of Casey's bed.

And even if she was just as confused as he was, she managed to keep the focus, "Will, I thought we made it clear that we wanted to be …," but she couldn't continue with her accusation because Halstead informed her of what was exactly going on.

"We didn't do this," he simply explained. "I got paged minutes after our conversation. The nurse noticed Matt starting to come out of his anesthesia."

"Is he alright?" Kelly's voice sounded even more worried, and he felt almost overwhelmed looking at his friend, who seemed to be squirming under the doctor's touch.

Will flashed him something like a smile and nodded, "He will be. He's agitated, as you can see. He doesn't know where he is and what's going on. He's scared right now, hence why I called you." He looked at Severide, "You're his brother. He needs you right now. You can help him through this."

Will's statement stuck in the room like a commandment that had to be fulfilled. He immediately recognized how much pressure he put on the other man and began to back down a bit with his sharpness. He let go of Casey and took a step back to let Kelly get closer to his friend. He looked into Severide's eyes and told him, "Just try to calm him down. He knows and trusts you. You've said it yourself. Remember? He would do the same. Just do what you would expect him to do if your roles were reversed."

Kelly instantly concentrated on Casey, and he put his left hand on his friend's chest, "Hey, buddy. It's Kelly. You look like hell. … but I'm here." He leaned a bit forward, still putting pressure on Casey's chest with his hand. Then he grabbed Casey's hand with his right one and strongly squeezed it as he told him, "I've got you!"