Author's Note: Haha, so... two years, huh? I am so sorry aboout how long this took. Motivation is a really fickle thing; it really does come when you least expect it. Thank you to everyone who has still favourited and followed in the years that I've not been here and everytime I get a notification for this story, it just makes my day. I have no idea how regular updates will be but I am determined to finish this story. And I'm a stubborn Taurus, so I'll bloody finish it, if it's the last thing I do.
Anyway, here is the (hopefully) long awaited Part 2 of Becoming! As always, please let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed!
'And I don't really care if nobody else believes,
I've still got a lot of fight left in me.'
~ Fight Song, Rachel Platten.
Chapter Fifty-One:
Becoming Part Two.
It was carnage when I got to the library. The stacks were turned over, the table was in ruins and Buffy was lying on the floor, unmoving. I cursed loudly, moving over to her quickly, noticing the pool of blood coming from her neck.
"No, no, no," I muttered, moving her onto her side, ignoring the blood I was getting on my hands. I grabbed her wrist, searching for a pulse. I breathed a sigh of relief; it was faint but it was there. If she didn't get to a hospital right now, she wouldn't make it.
I stood up, about to make my way to the phone, when I heard a gun cock behind me.
"Freeze! Put your hands up in the air slowly," I turn to see the policewoman, doing as I'm told.
"Please, I just got here. This girl needs an ambulance, otherwise, she won't make it," I explained as a second officer checked Buffy's pulse.
"It's faint but she's alive," he confirmed and I sighed in relief.
"What about up there?"
I turned to where the officer gestured, gasping as I saw Wesley lying unconscious. Losing my head for a moment, I went to go towards him, but two arms grabbed me, pulling me back and I struggled against them.
"Please, can you just make sure he's okay, I need to know-" The officer dragged me out into the hallway and I stopped short at the sight of Snyder.
"Well, hello Miss Harris," he smirked. "Surprised it was you here. Causing trouble, again?"
"You know this girl?" The officer asked.
"Rebecca Harris, brother died recently. Since then, she's been rather unstable," he commented and I clenched my fists, struggling against the officer again.
"Principal Snyder, you know that is not true. You have no idea what you're doing," I pleaded but he glared at me instead.
"Serious attitude problem," he continued.
I ignore Snyder, turning back to the officer. "Please, can you just find out if my friends are alright, that's all-"
He grabs both my arms, turning me the opposite way. "You have the right to remain silent-" I gritted my teeth, fist clenched as I broke free of his grip to elbow him directly in the face. His head smashed back against the lockers and I pulled his leg out from under him, causing him to slam into the floor, unconscious.
I didn't bother to look at Snyder, instead pelting down the corridor, ignoring the bullets flying after me. I made it out of the school, and ducked into an alleyway nearby as more police cars drove past, along with the sirens of an ambulance.
Please let them save Buffy in time, please. Don't let anyone else get hurt.
I stayed there for a few moments, waiting until the commotion seemed to have passed. I quickly tried to think of a plan; the police would be out looking for me. With Buffy out of commission, and the others unconscious or injured, the only possible suspect is me, until the others are in a state to be questioned. The paperwork for my legal guardianship was still going through; which meant the school records haven't been updated. According to those, the only known address for me is my parent's house, which is currently inhabited. I could go to Wesley's place- well, my place, and it would take the police a while to figure out that's where I'd be. Get a change of clothes, and a few weapons and then head to the hospital.
I snuck out the alleyway, keeping to the back streets of Sunnydale, slowly making my way home without getting caught. Luckily, I was right; the closer I got to Wesley's, the less police activity there was.
I pulled out my key and let myself in, going straight for the bathroom. I washed my hands, watching as Buffy's blood stained the sink red before disappearing down the drain. If she dies, it's your fault. Giles will never forgive you. I quickly got changed into different jeans, grabbing a black hoodie to put over my top and placing a cap over my short hair. The only thing I was missing were some sunglasses and I'd look like the typical spy trying to go undercover ever. Still, it should be enough to stop the police from being able to recognise me on sight.
I left the flat, making my way towards Sunnydale Hospital, dread filling every step I took.
~8~8~
I practically bumped into Wesley once I was there. I'd never been more relieved to see him before, hugging him so tightly, I may have hurt him. I always forget about Slayer strength when it comes to hugs.
"How are you doing?" I asked, as we ducked into an empty room and I quickly hid my face as police passed by the room. He held up his wrist to show a cast.
"Been better. The police have been out looking. I heard them chase you out," Wesley explained and I shook my head.
"They wouldn't listen to me."
"No, I imagine not. Until everyone has recovered, I'm afraid they won't listen to anyone," Wesley explained and I grimaced.
"How is everyone else?"
Buffy was in intensive care. Joyce was already there so I couldn't go see the other Slayer; Joyce may like me but if the police told her I was a wanted suspect, I don't think she'd be okay with hearing my side of the story. They were certain she'd pull through but it would be a long road to recovery for her.
I held Wesley's hand tightly, as I stroked Willow's hair back off her face. Aside from the black eye, she looked so peaceful. "Oh Will, come on honey."
"The doctors said it's head trauma. She can wake up at any time but the longer it lasts, the less likely it is," Wesley said.
"Stubborn girl. She'll wake up," I nodded. "Her parents?"
"They were in Phoenix, Joyce called. They're heading home."
"Oz?"
Wesley cursed. "I didn't think. I'll ring now," he said and I nodded.
"Thank you." He made to leave, as Cordelia entered through the door.
"Is she awake? The doctor explained to me."
"Not yet, we're still waiting. How about you?"
"Oh, I ran. I think I made it through about three counties before I realised nobody was chasing me. Not exactly the bravest thing to do," Cordelia winced and I shook my head.
"You did the right thing. Better scared than dead, Cordy."
She gave me a weak smile. "How's Miss Calendar?"
"Same position as Will, although the doctors think her's might be worse. It's less likely she'll wake up." Wesley explained and my grip on his hand tightened.
"I take it Giles' has gone straight there?" I asked and Wesley glanced at me, before looking to Cordelia.
"Did he keep up with you?" He asked and Cordy frowned.
"Giles wasn't with me," she said.
My blood ran cold, glancing between the two of them. "You mean he isn't in the hospital? Where is he then?"
~8~8~
I was on my way to the factory when it happened. I knew they wouldn't be there but they might've left something behind or Amy might've left me a message. A police car drove by and I couldn't get to the shadows in time. Something about me must've set him off, cause he stopped and got out.
"Stop right there!" I winced, turning around slowly to be met with the barrel of his gun. "Put your hands on your head, slowly!" Slayers can't exactly fight against a bullet, so I began putting my hands in the air. I might be able to outrun it but it's not a chance I wanted to take. Before I could do anything else, a foot came out of nowhere and kicked the gun out of the cop's hands. I jumped, ducking away as the gun clattered and there was a flash of bright blonde hair and a whoosh of black leather as the cop fell to the ground.
"Hello gorgeous."
I just caught sight of a smirk on the blonde vampire's face before my fist collided with his nose and he cursed.
"Bloody hell, I'm here to help, you dumb bitch!" Spike exclaimed.
"Where's Amy?"
He groaned, leaning backwards on the hood of the police car, grumbling. "Fucking slayers," he mumbled and I rolled my eyes.
"What are you doing here, Spike?" I asked and he straightened up, still leaning back on the car bonnet.
"I want to help save the world," he said, a smug smile on his face.
I rolled my eyes. "You don't care about the world. You just want to take down Angelus."
He shrugged. "Added bonus. See, I actually like this world. You've got dog racing, Manchester United and people… happy meals walking around on legs-"
"Yeah, yeah, the world is great, we haven't got time for this. Where's Amy?" I demanded and he rolled his eyes.
"Christ, thought we could at least have a drink first," Spike muttered and the police officer groaned, starting to come around. "Oh speaking of," he made to move towards the officer, fangs out.
I made a noise of disapproval and he rolled his eyes, moving away.
"Right, forgot who I was talking to. Ugh," he complained.
"We need to move, we're too out in the open here," I said and he nodded.
"Agreed. Where do you suggest?"
I gave a glare at him. "I'm not inviting you anywhere."
He raised an eyebrow. "That's fine, pet, we can just stay here and wait for more and more police to turn up," he commented and I clenched my fists in annoyance before shaking my head. Buffy, lying in a hospital bed, Jenny and Willow, stuck in comas. Wesley's broken wrist. If you hadn't got there, Buffy might've died. That would've been your fault.
"I don't want your help. I can take Angelus down on my own," I snapped, going to move away.
"He's got the Watcher!" Spike called. I turned around, nails digging into my skin. "He's-" Spike looked conflicted, biting his lip. "He's using her to torture him. Using the sire's bond," he stated.
I could feel something warm dripping down my palms and I released them; crackling energy shot out from my hands, blowing Spike and the police car back. House and car alarms nearby went off and the street lights started flickering, before the one above me crackled and burst, glass shattering everywhere.
"Jesus christ, luv!" Spike yelled, getting to his feet as I moved away from the light, glancing at the commotion around me.
"I… I don't know how that happened," I murmured, glancing at the lights, to the cars and the nearby houses. What just happened?
"Never mind how, we need to get you out of here, Slayer," the vampire muttered, grabbing my arm. I was too out of it to protest, allowing him to drag me away from the mess, heading for an alleyway.
How did I do that? Is that normal? I don't understand. I rested my hand on the brick of the alleyway before moving it back again, wincing. There were nail marks on my hand, deep enough that there was still some blood seeping through. I brought my hand closer to me, cradling it with my other. I have blood on my hands. Again. At least this time it's only my blood.
"Slayer, we need somewhere to go. We can't stay out on the street," Spike moved towards me, grabbing my hand and I groaned, pulling it back. Spike frowned for a second before glancing down at his hand; dark red covered it, a stark contrast to his pale skin.
"Slayer's blood," he murmured and I took a step backwards as he licked it off his hand, vampire face coming out as he did so.
I made a noise of disgust, bending down to grab my dagger and he looked back at me, eyes drifting from me to my hand near my boot and he rolled his eyes.
"What? I'm a vampire, I wasn't going to let it go to waste," he snapped. "I'm not actually going to drink you now. I have more self-control than that."
I paused, before straightening up. "Fine. But no more drinking my blood!" I ordered, pointing at him and he rolled his eyes.
"Agreed! Now let's find somewhere to go, we need to get you off the street before the police come knocking again. That was some commotion you cause back there," he pointed out and I shrugged, not wanting to think about it.
"I know somewhere. Let's go," I muttered, taking the lead. We walked in silence as we made our way to Wesley's; I didn't really want to take him there but I didn't know what else to suggest.
"Are you gonna mention what just happened back there?" Spike asked.
"I used magic, you've seen that before," I tried to shrug it off but the vampire scoffed.
"Sure, cause everytime you use magic, you blow out lights and knock over police cars," he pointed out. I rolled my eyes, trying to be nonchalant but I couldn't keep my hands from shaking.
"You're a terrible liar, luv," Spike commented. I didn't answer, heading to the door for Wesley's flat. I headed inside, making for the stairs when I heard a throat clear behind me.
"I need an invitation, Slayer," he pointed out and I sighed, clenching my fist again. Was I really going to do this? Invite a dangerous vampire into my home, into Wesley's home? I sighed. Amy's right. I need him to save Giles and stop Angelus.
"Come in, Spike," I murmured and the vampire stepped over the threshold.
"Thanks, pet," he said, heading past me up the stairs. It wasn't said with a tone or mockingly; it sounded genuinely sincere. I paused for a moment, glancing up at him in confusion before shaking my head. Just because he's sincere, doesn't mean he's not still a killer. Focus.
I followed him up, where he was flicking through the copy of Dracula that I'd bought for Wesley at Christmas.
"Poncey git, owes me 11quid," Spike muttered as I snatched the book out of his hand.
"Don't touch that!" I snapped, slamming the hardback down onto the kitchen counter and Spike took a step back, hands up in the air.
"Easy luv, I'm not gonna destroy it. I'm not Angelus," he spat the name and I paused, letting out a breath. I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this- My hands were in my hair, gripping it so tightly, I thought I was going to pull it out. I can't do this, I'm all alone, I haven't got anyone, I'm on my own, I'm on my own, I don't want to be alone. I didn't even realise I was on the floor, suddenly I could feel the cold tiles through my clothes. I miss Xander, I want to see my brother, I need my brother-
"Slayer, slayer, come on, you need to get up," he was shaking me, cold hands on my shoulders, gently shaking me. His hands moved to on top of mine, still gripping my hair and he gently pried them apart. I let him, bringing my hands down to be in front of me. I slowly opened my eyes, only just able to make out his concerned face behind my cloudy eyes. I could taste salt on my lips.
"I know it hurts," he murmured. He took a glance down at my hands, which were still bloody. "I know it's painful. But you've got a job to do, Slayer," he reminded me.
I shook my head. "I retire."
He laughed, mirthlessly. "Slayers don't retire, they keep fighting or they die. And you're not dying today, Slayer," he ordered.
I huffed. "Why not? You wanted to kill a Slayer. Well, here I am," I held my arms out but he shook his head.
"It's no fun killing a Slayer if you just let it happen," he said. "It's not just about killing one; it's the fight, it's the dance. And besides, it's not gonna be much fun if I kill you and then Angelus sends us all to hell," he added nonchalantly at the end.
That got my attention. Giles, being tortured by Amy, fuck. I need to get to them.
I pushed myself off the floor, letting Spike's hands drop from mine.
"Right, we need a plan. What's your end of the deal?" I asked.
"I help you kill Angelus, me and Dru skip town."
I shook my head. "Not Dru. She almost killed Buffy tonight and she Turned Amy. She doesn't walk," I hissed.
"Dru almost took the Slayer out? Amazing, she didn't tell me! Good for her," Spike laughed before he cursed, holding his cheek.
"Don't you dare talk about her like that!"
"There's no deal without Dru, pet. That's not negotiable."
I clenched my fists together again. "Fine. But she lifts the sire's bond on Amy and we never fucking hear from you again," I snapped and he scoffed.
"Good. I've had enough of this shithole town anyway."
"Fine, get back to the mansion. Make sure Giles and Amy are okay. Be ready to back me up," I ordered and he nodded, making for the door.
"Spike," he turned back as I called his name. "If Giles dies, she dies."
He stared firmly back before heading out of the apartment. I leaned back against the wall, head in my hands. Tired, tired, tired. I felt like my whole body was made of lead; it took so much energy just to raise my head or move. I felt like if you dropped me into the sea right now, I would sink and sink and sink until I hit the very bottom.
The phone rang, jarring me out of my reverie and I jumped up before heading over.
"Hello?"
"Hey, I'm awake," a tired but somewhat chipper voice came through on the other end of the phone.
"Will! Oh thank god, are you alright?"
"I'm still a bit out of it but I know who the President is, and my name and how many fingers I'm holding up, so they don't think my brain got smushed at all," she murmured.
"That's a relief. Any news on Buffy and Miss Calendar?"
There was a pause. "Buffy is stable but she's still asleep. There's a lot they need to do, the injury was right on her vocal cords so she's gonna struggle with talking for a while. Her voice might not be the same again," Will explained and I sighed, leaning my head on the wall. This is your fault, if you'd been there, Buffy would be okay.
"What about Miss Calendar?" I murmured. I wasn't even sure I wanted to hear the answer.
"She…" Will paused, as if trying to figure out how to word it. "She hasn't woken up yet. The doctors aren't sure if she ever will."
It's your fault, it's your fault, it's your fault-
"She will. She has to. She'll be fine," I wasn't sure if Will could hear the shaky note in my voice but she didn't mention it.
"Yeah, she'll come around. Any word on Giles?"
"Angelus has him. And I know where they are," I said.
"How?"
"I got a lucky break," I shrugged. "Believe me when I say you wouldn't believe me if I told you," I promised and she chuckled.
"I'll take your word for it, Becky."
"Is Wesley there? I need to talk to him," I asked and there was the sound of rustling before I heard his voice.
"Rebecca?"
"Angelus has Giles. There's a mansion on Crawford Street; that's where they are. I'm gonna hit it come daybreak," I explained.
"You'll need help," Wesley said.
"I'll be fine. Stay there," I ordered and Wesley sighed but didn't argue.
"What about Amy?"
"I don't know. Without the sire's bond broken, I'm not sure what we can do," I admitted.
"Miss Calendar had some books at the library that she was looking through. I can check them, if you like?"
"Please Wesley, that would be great," I gave another sigh, trying to shake this lethargy off of me. It felt as though there was cotton wool in my head, clogging up all my thoughts.
"Rebecca, remember to keep a level head. Don't let Amy cloud your judgement; the priority is stopping Angelus and Acathla," Wesley murmured sternly and I gave a huff.
"Wes, I know what the priority is. I know what I have to do, I'm just-" I paused, leaning my head against the wall again. "I'm just so tired, Wesley. I don't know how much more I can take," my voice was barely above a whisper but he clearly heard me.
"I know, Rebecca. But you have Willow, Buffy, Cordelia, Giles and me to rely on. Lean on us. No one is saying you have to do everything alone. Let us help you," he said, voice nearly as quiet as mine.
"I'll be fine, Wes," I nodded, trying to convince myself more than him, really. "I'll deal with Angelus and then we'll talk, yeah?"
There was a noise from over the phone and whilst it wasn't necessarily a noise of agreement, he didn't disagree either.
"Right, I'll talk to you later, Wes," I didn't give him a chance to reply, just put the receiver down and made for the door.
"You know, there's nothing in those books that can help you."
My dagger landed less than half an inch away from his face, implanted in the wall.
"Easy Slayer, I'm here to give you advice," Whistler exhaled, moving away from the dagger in the wall, eyeing it warily, as if it was gonna jump out of the wall and attack him again.
"What do you mean there's nothing in the books?"
"The sire's bond ain't gonna be broken. Not by anything in them, anyway," Whistler explained and I frowned.
"Then what will break it?"
"Well, first one is easy; kill the sire. No sire, no sire's bond," Whistler shrugged and I rolled my eyes.
"Easier said than done. I kill Drusilla, then I have Spike gunning for me and I really don't wanna take that fight. What's the second one?"
"The second one?" Whistler gave a low exhale of his breath. "There is a spell, but it's way out your league and there's a high chance you won't be able to stop Angelus and do the spell," Whistler explained.
I shrugged. "What's the spell?"
"Slayer, you won't be able to do both. This isn't a suggestion, I'm telling you. The spell requires focus and concentration; it isn't something you can do mid-fight," Whistler emphasised.
"So what, I have to choose? The woman I love's freedom or the rest of the world?" I demanded.
"Pretty much. Shit odds, ain't it?"
"Give me the spell."
"Slayer-"
"Give me the fucking spell, Whistler, or I'll send you back to the Powers in tiny little pieces," I spat.
Whistler paused for a second, before sighing and reaching into his jacket. He pulled out a beaten, tattered looking scroll. "Here," he muttered, passing it across. "Y'know, the Powers will be disappointed, kid. The Slayer's job is to protect people; not saving vampires."
I held the scroll gingerly in my hands, not wanting to break it. It was precious, fragile. "Get out."
Whistler paused like he was about to say something but then changed his mind, shrugging and moving away.
"Oh and tell the Powers they can shove their Book where the sun don't shine!" I swore, throwing the Book so that it hit Whistler in the head and he turned around to grab it, looking at me sadly.
"You're making a mistake, kid. Slayers are supposed to protect people," he repeated.
"Maybe I don't want to be the Slayer anymore," I murmured, turning away.
There was a moment of silence and when I turned, Whistler was gone but the Book was on the counter, glowing. I frowned, going over to it and opening it up. I skimmed the pages for a few seconds before giving an exasperated scream and throwing the book across the room. I took one last look around Wesley's apartment; the dirty plates in the sink, the fruit bowl, the chicken defrosting on the counter. It was supposed to be my turn to cook tonight.
I might not ever see this place again. Wesley might not ever see this place again. Was I okay with that? Was I okay with letting the world die, if it meant saving Amy?
I opened the scroll, having a look at the spell. It didn't require any special materials, except the hair of the sire and the sired. Maybe I could do both. I would try to do both.
I would never forgive myself if I had the opportunity to save Amy and I passed it up. What was the point of saving the world if you didn't have a reason to stay in it?
~8~8~
There were no police on the streets or at the school. Police tape was stuck to the library door. I ignored it, heading inside; the place was trashed.
Bookcases knocked over, books strewn about everywhere. There was chalk around where Buffy had been lying but her blood had been cleaned up. Unlit candles were sat on the table, as was the Orb of Thesulah. I picked it up, examining it. Amy always wanted to use one of these. They fascinated her. I sighed, placing it back down.
I looked around the library again; this place held so many memories. What would I do without it? I closed my eyes, ignoring the mess around me. I could see it, in my mind; how the library usually looked. Buffy and Willow, sat at the table gossiping. Giles stood nearby, trying to convince everyone to focus on whatever disaster we were facing that time. Cordelia, whinging about her clothes or her hair after a fight; almost dying not a factor in her concerns. Wesley stood near Giles, always more relaxed than the tense, older Brit. Amy, usually sat beside me, my legs up on hers, hands running through my hair. I paused, bracing myself. This one was going to hurt. I moved my gaze over to the counter, where Xander would sit, sometimes cross-legged much to Giles' annoyance. I tried to memorize everything I could remember about him; the way his dark hair would fall, sometimes in his eyes, the curve of his mouth when he smiled, the way he laughed, loud and throwing his head back. The way he'd kiss my forehead when I was upset or how he could always make me laugh, even when I felt like crying. How angry he used to make me or how annoying he could be. How much I loved him. How much I relied on him. How much I missed him. How much I didn't think I could be here without him. How much I didn't want to be here without him.
I let out a breath I didn't realise I'd been holding, wiping my eyes. This place was our home, our sanctuary; but right now, it felt like a prison. I didn't want to be here; this place held too many memories of people that I loved and people that I'd lost; people that I might still lose. Buffy, lying in a hospital bed; throat cut so badly she might not be able to speak properly for months. Jenny, unconscious, might not ever wake up again. And even if she does, she might not be the same. Willow, alive, conscious but bruised and hurt. How much more loss can I take?
I moved towards the table, grabbing the sword that Whistler had brought us. Buffy should be the one to wield this. It shouldn't fall on me.
"You do know this is a crime scene? But then, you're a criminal, so that makes sense."
I turned around to face him, glaring. "Snyder, I am really not in the mood."
"I actually had high hopes for you, Harris. All your records had you pointing the right way but," he sighed, pausing. "Then you threw your lot in with Summers. That was a mistake."
"Y'know, I don't think I ever asked for your opinion on what you thought about me and my friends."
"And yet, here you are. Stood in a crime scene; they always say that they return to the scene."
I rolled my eyes. "I didn't do anything. The police will figure that out."
It was Snyder's turn to roll your eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, Sunnydale police are deeply stupid. Afterall, they still haven't found your brother's murderer, have they?"
I scoffed in a mock-laughter type of way, summoning a fireball into my hand. "You really have no idea who you're messing with, do you?"
Snyder stumbled backwards, a look of fear and shock on his face. He trembled for a few seconds, moving away from me, backing himself up against the counter.
"You- you wouldn't-"
I extinguished the ball of flame, rolling my eyes in disgust.
"You- you- you're expelled!" He exclaimed.
"Good. I don't want to come back to this shithole, anyway," I muttered, heading out of the library, making sure to aim the sword at his face as he passed, enjoying the feeling of watching him tremble in fear.
It made it easier; knowing I wasn't coming back. I had nothing left to lose. No reason to stay.
~8~8~
It was nearing daybreak as I made my way to the mansion. Had it really only been 12 hours ago that I'd fought Angelus in the park? Since Buffy had been ambushed? Since two of the most important people in my life were in hospital, fighting for their lives?
I was almost to the mansion, when Wesley pulled up beside me in the car.
"Get in," he ordered.
"Wes, I told you to stay at the hospital," I chided gently, hopping into the car.
"I'm the Watcher here, which means I don't have to listen to you," he pointed out and I rolled my eyes but didn't argue.
"Alright, but you're not here to fight. You get in, get Giles out and you get the fuck out," I ordered. "Giles will need medical attention."
"How do you know?"
I braced myself, clenching my fists again. I was gonna have scars on my hands soon, if I kept doing that. Oh well. It can match the other scars on my body.
"Spike has agreed to help stop Angelus. He doesn't want to go to Hell, and he doesn't like Angelus. So he's agreed to help stop Angelus, in return for him and Drusilla being able to leave," I explained. "Angelus has been torturing Giles, or rather using the sire's bond to make Amy torture him. I need to get her away from them."
"Rebecca, the priority here is stopping Angelus and Acathla," Wesley murmured, softly.
"I have a spell, to break the sire's bond. Whistler gave it to me," I explained, handing the scroll over.
Wesley opened it, glancing over the spell. "Rebecca, this is highly advanced. You're not going to be able to do anything whilst performing this. It will put you completely out of commission," he explained.
"I'm prepared for that."
"Rebecca, if you attempt this, it will give Angelus ample opportunity to release Acathla."
"And if I don't, I will lose Amy forever! I will never be able to free her from Drusilla's control and I will not break my promise!"
"Rebecca, Amy wouldn't want that. If you break the sire's bond, Acathla will be released and the entire world will go to hell, including Amy. She'll suffer, along with everyone else."
I hung my head, holding my hand out for the scroll. "I have to try, Wes," I murmured.
Wesley sighed, and I felt the disappointment as he placed the scroll into my hand.
"It's your decision, Rebecca. I won't stop you," he said and I nodded.
"Thanks."
"Also there's something else you should know; Willow is re-trying the ensouling spell-"
"What?! She's too weak, she'll hurt herself-"
"I have already tried. She mentioned her 'resolve face' and that she was refusing to back down," Wesley commented, a slight smile on his face and I sighed but rolled my eyes.
"Stubborn witch," I muttered.
"There's a catch though; without Miss Calendar to guide her, she isn't sure whose soul she's guiding. So it might be Amy's, or it might be Angel's," Wesley explained.
I sighed, running my hands through my hair. "Fine. But if Angel's soul gets restored, I'm gonna be pissed," I snapped and Wesley chuckled slightly.
"I wouldn't have expected anything else," he said before turning the key in the ignition. "Let's go."
The rest of the drive was spent in silence, and I kept glancing down at the sword in my lap. My face stared back at me, faded cut on my cheek, short hair sticking out and tired eyes, dark circles underneath them.
I had no idea what to do. Was I really going to condemn the world and everyone I knew and loved to an eternity of torture? To save Amy? I honestly didn't know.
I guess we'll find out.
~8~8~
We were there just in time, by the looks of it; Angelus was walking up towards the statue, blood dripping from his hand as he did. Amy was standing next to Spike in his wheelchair and Drusilla was standing on her other side, watching Angelus with a wide grin on her face, eyes wide and crazed. I could see dried blood on Amy's hands and I felt my hands start to get warm, rage filling me. I grabbed the scroll, sneaking around the courtroom, heading for the brunette vampire. Everyone was too focused on Angelus to really notice me; I caught Spike's eye but I put a finger on my lips and he nodded, turning back to Angelus.
I grabbed a strand of her hair with my free hand and tugged, quickly. There was a whine as I plucked her hair and I smiled triumphantly before doing the same to Amy before ducking a punch from Drusilla.
Angelus turned around at the commotion, moments from pulling out the sword.
"I don't have time for you, Slayer," he groaned, as I moved away from Drusilla and Amy, both strands of hair in place.
"You don't have much time left, Angelus," I spat and he smirked.
"Come on. You're a little bit out of your league here, darling. Do you really think you can take all of us on?" He taunted, moving closer towards me but I could only smirk. He was standing right in front of Spike and I saw him wink at me.
"No. I don't," I replied sweetly and he frowned, as Spike got to his feet behind him and bashed him around the head with a metal bar. I ducked out of the way, as chaos broke out. Drusilla was screaming, trying to get Spike off Angelus as Amy darted away. I could see Wesley use the commotion to his advantage, darting through the vampires to head further into the mansion, trying to find Giles. I could see Amy, stood off to the side, unsure, shaky, as though she wasn't sure what to do.
I opened the scroll, Amy and Dru's hair in my spare hand. I stood myself behind one of the pillars, out of sight.
"Oh Selene goddess of the moon, mother of the vampires-" There was a rumble of thunder and crashing noises could be heard around me, as I recited the words on the scroll. I could feel the power coming from the scroll, the words almost lighting up. "I bring you two hairs from a sire and sired. Their bond is" I yelled out in shock as someone barged into me and I scrambled away, ensuring that I didn't drop the scroll or the hair.
"You sneaky little bitch," Angelus snarled, chasing after me. "She belongs to me, now."
I moved further away from him, feeling energy building up again and I thrust my hand out towards him. The air pushed at him and he flew backwards. I turned back to the scroll. "Their bond is cemented and unbroken. The sired has their free will removed, at the mercy of the sire and the sire before them. Please-" The storm around us had picked up and there was a blue sheen in front of me. Angelus moved to come towards me again but as he did, he collided with the blue sheen; it threw him backwards, banging his head off the pillar, strong enough to leave a crack in it. I watched in awe and confusion, not understanding, looking around. Then I realised.
Amy was stood off to the side, hiding from the other vampires, hands outstretched, a blue light coming from them. She was straining her face in concentration, fangs out as she did so, hair swirling around her and she locked eyes with me. 'Keep going' she mouthed and I nodded, looking back at the scroll. "Please, take these hairs, break the bond between them, allow the sired to make her own decisions, no longer at the mercy of their sire and their sire before them. Please, allow this bond to be broken. Allow your children the free will they deserve." I could feel energy coursing through my body, coming from the scroll and I shrieked as the hairs I was holding lit up, crackling with electricity, like it had just been struck by lightning. The lightning arced out from the two hairs, forming two links between Amy and Drusilla. Both vampires screamed in agony and I could only watch in horror. Amy's shield fell and I cried out in pain as I was tackled again.
"What did you do?! We had a deal!" Spike roared, vampire face right next to mine, practically lying on top of me and I shook my head.
"I don't know what's happening-"
"If she dies, Slayer, you'll have wished Angelus had released Acathla-" the vampire swore as I tried to scramble away, from where he had me pinned to the floor but I needn't have worried. Or maybe I should. Angelus pulled Spike off me, vampire face also out.
"Spike! My boy! Conspiring with the Slayer against me? Oh, and just when I thought you couldn't sink any lower," Angelus snarled, punching Spike clean across the face and there was a horrible cracking noise as Spike fell to the floor, blood covering his face. I glanced back at the two female vampires, as they writhed in agony, lightning still coursing through them. I moved towards Amy, grabbing her hand, squeezing it tightly, making sure she knew I was there. She grimaced, but looked over at me, nodding slightly. I gave her a small smile back before crying out in pain, as I was dragged away by my hair.
"You just don't know when to quit, do you?" Angelus snarled, throwing me to the floor. I groaned as I collided with the concrete floor, beside Spike. He glanced over at me, blood dripping from his mouth.
"Now, you can watch, as Acathla sucks the world into Hell," Angelus taunted, heading for the statue. I got to my feet and dashed towards him, aiming to stop him but he pushed me aside, pulling the sword out. He turned back to face me with a sadistic grin and I cursed.
"You're too late. What kind of Slayer can't even save the world?" He taunted and I smirked. I could see the sword that slew Acathla the first time, and I held out my hands, using the air to summon the sword into my outstretched hand.
"World's not over yet, prick," I snapped, as our blades met. I could see Spike moving towards Drusilla, as she howled, twisting in pain, before the lightning suddenly dissipated, both vampires falling to the floor, unconscious.
I tried to go towards Amy but Angelus blocked my path.
"Aww, look at you. So desperate to save your little girlfriend. Pathetic," he snarled and I glared, pushing at the air to send him flying backwards before running over to the vampires.
Spike was scooping Drusilla up into his arms and I put a hand on his arm.
"Thank you for helping," I murmured and he gave me a cold stare before nodding once.
"He'll kill you; you're no match for him, luv," Spike commented but I shrugged.
"Maybe, maybe not. Why do you care? Get out of here," I ordered and he looked concerned for a moment before he shrugged and stood up.
"Tell blondie I'll miss her," he called back casually as he walked away and I rolled my eyes before moving towards the blonde vampire. She was still and cold, but she was there which meant she wasn't dust. That was a good sign. I gave her a light kiss on her forehead.
"You're free, my love. I kept my promise," I murmured, before turning around. I still had a fight to finish.
Angelus got to his feet, snarling. "You know, you're really starting to piss me off," he growled and I mock-curtseyed.
"Why, thank you, it's an honour," I replied, as our swords clashed again. He was quick; I didn't have time to do anything other than defend or parry his hits, dancing around the room, trying to avoid him getting too close. He was pissed and it only made him more dangerous; he slashed at me, catching my upper arm and I hissed in pain, recoiling back, up against the wall. He took the moment of opportunity, knocking the sword out of my hand and kicking my shin. I swore, falling to the floor, hitting my head off the concrete behind me. I looked up to see Angelus, smiling sadistically as he swung the sword around. Did he have two swords? I wondered. My head felt fuzzy.
"No friends, no weapons, no hope," he murmured. "Take all that away and what's left?"
I closed my eyes, trying to stop my head from spinning. I'm so sick of fighting. What's the point of fighting if there's nothing you want to do? No-one to come home to? I enjoyed fighting because I thought I was protecting people. But there's no one left. I have no one left to protect.
I felt the swoosh of the sword come towards me. It could all be over. You could let it happen. You probably wouldn't even feel it. I saw Xander in my mind, smiling, laughing, welcoming me home. If I could just reach out, grab his shirt, hug him, so tightly that he'd whine that I was gonna kill him. You'd be a twin again.
… But… what about Wesley? And Willow? Was I really going to leave her behind, to deal with not just Xander's death but then mine? And Buffy. The guilt would kill her; to have both friends die at Angelus' hand. Not that it would last long; if I die now, everyone will suffer. Everyone will spend eternity being tortured in hell. And Amy. You have a chance to get her back, to see her without the sire's bond. Are you really gonna let that go? Is that what Xander would want?
My hands shot up, stopping the sword in its tracks. "Me," I snarled, heating my hands and Angelus cursed as the blade got too hot for him to hold. I threw the blade to the floor, grabbing mine and he scrambled to get away.
He grabbed another blade and our swords clashed a third time, as I moved us back inside, fighting in front of the Acathla statue. There was a groan in the corner and as Angelus tried to see what it was, I took the opportunity to knock his sword out of his hand. There was a slight pause as Angelus looked at me in surprise and I held the sword up, prepared to ram the blade straight into his stomach but there was a flash of light, and I paused as Angelus convulsed, collapsing to the floor. I waited hesitantly. Was that… his soul?
Angelus- Angel? looked up at me, confusion written on his face. There were tears streaming down his face.
"Rebecca, what's going on?" He murmured, looking around. "Where's Buffy?"
"Angel?" I asked. I felt all my rage and fury leave my body, watching him sob. He doesn't remember.
"Where are we? I feel like- god, I feel like I haven't seen her in months," Angel sobbed and I knelt beside him, offering him a hand up.
He took it and carefully got to his feet, looking around the mansion. "I don't understand," he said and I shook my head.
"It's okay. Buffy's okay, she's… safe," I chose my words carefully. He looked at me, confused and I placed a hand on his arm. "She'd be here if she could but she's elsewhere at the moment."
"But she's okay?" Angel asked and I nodded, a small smile playing at the corner of my lips.
"Yeah, she's okay," I answered and Angel gave a sigh of relief, seeming to relax a bit.
"I just don't understand what happened. I feel like I've been gone for months," he repeated himself and I shrugged.
"Don't worry about it. Everything will be alright," I murmured, pulling him into a hug. He seemed surprised by the physical contact but returned it, hugging me so tightly that I think I would've burst if not for the Slayer strength.
I leant on his shoulder, relieved that Angelus was gone and that it was over. I'd almost forgotten that Acathla was waking up, until I saw his face move. A bright red circle of light started to emanate from his mouth and I remembered Whistler's words. His blood will open and close it… It didn't matter that Angel had his soul back. Angelus opened the door; Angel had to close it. I pulled away from the hug and he looked at me, confused.
"What's going on?" He went to turn around but I grabbed his shoulders.
"Don't worry about it," I murmured. "Close your eyes. And just remember that Buffy loves you, so much," I said, waiting until he had done so. He looked confused but closed his eyes.
"I love her too, so much. I can't wait to see her again," he said, and I paused, clenching my fists. Is there no other way? The vortex around Acathla was growing, the wind picking up. I held the sword up, and ran it through his stomach, straight into Acathla. His eyes shot open and he looked at me in shock, arm outstretched to grab a hold of me. I stepped backwards, watching as the vortex began to swirl around him, as he writhed in pain, hand outstretched.
"Becky, please-"
I took another step back, shaking my head. "I'm sorry."
He gave another cry, as the vortex surrounded him; it centered back in on itself and the mouth of Acathla closed, trapping Angel inside whatever hell it intended to send us to. I choked back a sob, hands covering my mouth when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
I turned to see Amy, eyes brimming with tears as she pulled me into a hug. We seemed to shake almost in unison as each of us sobbed, tears falling from my eyes and dampening her shirt.
We must've stayed like that for a while, just holding each other, hands gripping each other's clothes so hard that I thought they might rip. Eventually, I pulled away, cupping her cheeks and gently wiping away any remaining tears.
"Are you okay?" I asked and she gave a shrug.
"I'm better now. I can feel that the sire's bond is gone; there's like a fog has gone from my mind. I could think clearly but it felt like something tugging at me. I can't feel it anymore," Amy explained and I smiled.
"That's good," I said, excited but she frowned.
"I… I tortured Giles. I hurt him really bad," she murmured and I shook my head.
"You didn't have a choice, Ames. You were being controlled by the sire's bond," I argued.
"I know that. But I still did it," Amy replied in a soft voice and I squeezed her hand.
There was silence for a moment.
"What do we do now?"
What did we do now? Amy was free of the bond but still didn't have a soul. Angel was gone, Acathla was defeated. The world isn't gonna end tomorrow. I'm apparently still living and have no intentions to off myself or let myself die in a fight. That's new. I couldn't go back to Sunnydale High though. Snyder had seen to that. Did I even want to go back there? Just because I'd decided to live… does that mean I have to live here? Where I have so many memories of Xander? Where every street corner and shop and cemetery reminds me of him?
What about your duties as the Slayer? A small voice asked and I mentally scoffed. Screw being the Slayer. I meant what I said. I'm retiring. I can't do this anymore.
"I think… I need to be elsewhere. Somewhere… not Sunnydale," I said, slowly and Amy nodded.
"Do you want company?" She asked, voice hopeful.
I held out my hand for her to take, and she did, cold fingers interlaced with my warm wands. "Always, my love."
~8~8~
Wes,
I'm sorry. So the world didn't end, as you probably figured, cause hi! But I can't do this anymore. I've been in a dark place since Xander died and whilst I'm not necessarily out of that place, I'm better. I'm leaving Sunnydale and I don't think I'm coming back.
The spell on Amy worked. She's free of the sire's bond. The ensouling spell… It worked but on Angel. By the time it happened, he'd already awakened Acathla. I had to kill him. Buffy may not believe me but I am genuinely sorry. For what it's worth, I forgave him, at the end.
Thank you for all your help and support. I'm sorry I can't be there to say goodbye properly but I know you would try and stop me. I don't want to be the Slayer anymore. I'm sick of losing people I love. And losing anyone else… I think it would be the final straw. Especially if I lost you.
Tell the others that I love them and I'm sorry.
Take care of yourself, Wes. Thanks for being my Watcher,
Rebecca.