It had been a couple weeks without incident, thank goodness, but one early morning before Thanksgiving, Edd woke to the sound of the front door slamming shut and music blaring from outside. His breath hitched as he lay there, frozen amidst the sheets and waiting for any further sounds. He vaguely caught Matthew's voice under the heavy metal riffs. He could only come to one conclusion; it was finally happening. That horrific plan of his was being set in motion. After all, Matthew was not the type to wake up before dawn unless he had sinister intentions.

Long after hearing the car pull out of the driveway and the music fade, Edd remained in the bed, watching the clock the same way he did when he was a traumatized child after the dodgeball incident. Fear paralyzed him to the mattress as the minutes ticked away. 2:23 am. 2:35 am. 2:45 am…

It was almost 3:45 before he finally willed his body to rise and dig around for the cordless phone. With shaking hands, he dialed Sasha's number and listened to it ring.

Finally an answer on the 5th.

"Is 4 in the morning," Sasha sounded disoriented and groggy and none too pleased, having clearly just woken up, "This better be important."

"It most certainly is," Edd hissed back, "I just heard Matthew leave with the car. I presume the three are about to enact their sinister plan. There's no reason he'd be up this early for anything else. We have to act quickly — how fast can you meet me here?"

The urgency in Edd's voice seemed to be just the thing to wake Sasha up.

"I can be there in about 15 minutes," he responded, voice sounding much clearer, "I'll also have to stop by a gas station to pick up some road trip snacks — I'm not leaving without some food and pop."

"Good," Edd noted, "I'll also be bringing some tools and cheap disguises along. We may have to break in and I have no doubt that place has cameras."

"Sounds good, we can put all that in the trunk," Sasha agreed before heaving a sigh, "Alright, man. I got to get dressed and feed my dogs before I leave. Later."

ABABABA

Sasha arrived a little later than Edd expected, but it wasn't a result of prolonged morning rituals. His hair wasn't done up in spikes like it usually was and he looked exhausted. Edd could only assume the holdup had been caused by the stops he'd mentioned having to make. As he pulled into the driveway with a big yawn, Edd found himself briefly questioning whether or not he'd be in any state to drive.

Without much hesitation and, after locking the front door behind him, Edd approached the car and opened the passenger side door, where he slid into the seat.

"Thank you for doing this," he said, resting his bag in the floor by his feet, "Forgive me, but are you alert enough to operate this vehicle?"

"I brought a case of pop for the trip," Sasha shrugged back, jabbing his thumb towards the back seat, "I can't stand the taste of coffee or tea. Shit tastes like ink, no joke."

As Sasha began driving, Edd looked into the backseat and took stock of the large bag of junk food stored there for easy access.

"I see you've also stocked up on the…uh…'food'," he comments uneasily before glancing at him, "How long did you say the trip would be again?"

"Two days," Sasha grumbled.

"Oh dear…" Edd rubbed his temples, "This is going to be quite a long trip…When the hour is more acceptable, I should really contact someone to tend to Niels Bohr while we're gone…" Edd shook his head. "Anyway, do you have any ideas on how we are to entertain ourselves during the trip?"

"Well, we can either listen to some tunes or maybe play a road game?"

"Music it is, then," Edd answered with a scoff, "I'm in no mood to play any games."

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a grin creep onto Sasha's face as the other man reached for his milkshake.

"Or…I got another idea," Sasha mentioned, sipping the creamy drink while eyeing him mischievously, "Why don't we share some whore stories? Y'know, since we've been fucked by the same dick, we could start there?"

"You're quite the gossip, aren't you?" Edd grumbled, turning away with a blush, "Didn't your mother ever teach you that it's rude to pry into such personal matters? And besides, what kind of thrill could you possibly get out of knowing about my sexual relationship with Matthew anyway?"

"C'mon," Sasha groaned, "We're gonna be stuck in this car for a couple of days, bored out of our minds if all we're doing is listening to music, and sex stories are the spice of any road trip." Rolling his eyes at the disinterested look on Edd's face, Sasha nudged him with his elbow. "It'll be fun. Let's start with the dirtiest thing you've done with him."

"I don't see how this is so entertaining…" Edd dismissed, "It's none of your concern what he and I have done or what we haven't. You're starting to remind me of your cousin with this peer pressure nonsense."

"Can you maybe stop being a prude for five seconds?" Sasha pressed in exasperation, "You're the one who woke me up to go driving at this ungodly hour. The least you could do is humor me." Taking a breath to calm himself, he sat up a little straighter, adjusting into a more comfortable position, "Tell ya what; I'll tell you about my dirtiest time with him first if it'll make you feel more comfortable."

"Ugh fine!" Edd groaned, his arms crossed resolutely over his chest, "If it'll shut you up, then go ahead."

"Hey, don't be like that," Sasha teased, "You know you love me. I mean, not in that kind of way, obviously. I think we both like taking it in ass too much. Though I'm definitely more experienced at it than you are and have more junk in the trunk."

"Is this what you wanted to talk about?" Edd retorted, "Because I think you're going off the rails a bit with this modest discussion of your posterior."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm getting to it," Sasha continued with a sigh, "I dunno about you, but I sure as shit regret losing my virginity to that asshole. I think someone spiked the Kool-Aid at the party that night. I woke up and I wasn't a virgin anymore."

"Alright, now I think you're just stalling, Chuckles," Edd scoffed, "The question was the dirtiest thing you did with Matthew, but if you're so averse to actually talking about it, then we can move on or just enjoy the silence."

"Stalling, me?" Sasha feigned innocence, "Relax, I was just about to get to that. Just…got off on a bit of a tangent. So, my dirtiest experience was pretty early on. He once tied me up and shoved the handle of his mom's hairbrush up my ass when we were both fifteen and in the upstairs bathroom. He slapped me a couple of times across the face before he throat-fucked me, remarking that the scars on my wrist were proof that he 'owned' me." Rolling his eyes, he shook his head. "Anyway, unless I'm forgetting any details — and I don't believe I am — that about sums up that experience. Not only the dirtiest, it was also definitely the strangest thing he did to me sexually. Unfortunately, I think his mom still used that hairbrush for its intended purpose after that. I didn't have the heart or the nerve to tell her what her deviant son did with it after I washed it."

"Ugh — poor Margaret!" Edd exclaimed, making a face, "That's awful. What about this is so entertaining to you?"

"Meh, you did ask," Sasha snickered.

"No I didn't!" Edd argued, "You insisted because you're so weirdly interested in my own experiences. I was only pointing out that you were stalling on this topic that you claimed to want to discuss so badly."

"Eh, same difference," Sasha shrugged, "Anyway, your turn. What's the dirtiest thing you have done with him?"

Edd blushed bright red and turned away in shame. Sasha can be endearingly irritating when he wants to be…He felt sick as he forced himself to recount it.

"He…performed analingus on me…"

When Sasha didn't comment, Edd's eyes darted towards him, only to find him trying to hold in his chuckles. Oh yeah, Kevin and Sasha were definitely cousins.

"You can wipe that smirk off your face!" Edd snapped indignantly, "I didn't laugh at the hairbrush story of yours."

"Okay, okay," Sasha wiped his eyes, "In my defense, I'm not even really laughing about the act itself; it's your reaction to it. Was that the only time you've been ate out? How was it for your first time?"

"I never agreed to divulge any sordid details," Edd countered, flustered, "Why are you so determined to talk about this when I clearly don't want to?"

"Cuz it's fun," Sasha laughed, "We've both fucked Matthew — there's not a lot of dignity left to lose, wouldn't you agree?"

"I just don't see why we have to talk about it," Edd snapped back, "Honestly, sometimes I get the feeling that you dumb yourself down and focus on sexual topics for fear that no one would like the 'geeky' side of yourself. I mean, consider your wardrobe. Other than Pride shirts, I rarely see you without some article of clothing proclaiming your sexual prowess or the occasional pop culture tee. Look at what you're wearing now! The shirt you have on proclaims that you're a pornstar, but I highly doubt you've starred in pornographic material. I just don't understand why you've chosen to make sex part of your personality to such a degree that it needs to be brought up in most conversations."

"Hey, I like my pornstar tee," Sasha pouted, tugging at his shirt a bit, "I was thinking maybe I'd attract a rich sugar daddy with this on. Could help me fund the outside patio I want in the back of the bar, y'know?" He grimaced. "Nobody from the Holmes family, though. I've dealt with them enough."

"There you go stalling again," Edd quipped, "It seems to be a habit of yours when you don't want to address something."

"Who me? Nah…" Sasha grinned, "I was just trying to have a nice conversation about a topic we can both relate to, y'know?" He glanced at Edd with an incredulous look. "You seem to be in a particularly bad mood this morning…"

Edd deflated a bit at that. Perhaps he had been a little quick to snap…

"My apologies…" he mumbled, "I just…don't want to discuss the more…unpleasant aspects of my relationship with Matthew. Can we just drop that subject specifically?"

Sasha shrugged; "Yeah, alright…" He surveys their surroundings. "Hey, we're coming up on the sunflower fields. It's a shame it's so late in the year, but they're still really pretty, don'tcha think?"

As Edd followed his gaze, watching the lilting flowers glide by with the rest of the country side, he was reminded of the time Ed and Eddy played around in those fields the summer that Edd first met Matthew. The memory brought a small grin to his face as he reflected on that simpler time. As the fields began to slip out of his view, he could've swore that he caught a glimpse of a rubber snake amidst the fading yellows.

Sitting back again, Edd decided he should be the one to change the subject; "So are you still considering surrogate fatherhood?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" Sasha replied, "I've actually signed the paperwork to be my friends' surrogate. I'll still get to see the child and even help raise it as a third, part-time parent. It's a little complicated, but I figured this was my only chance to have a kid, y'know? So, once Linda is ovulating, I can schedule to give a sample from a discreet room at the clinic and we'll go from there."

"Well, I hope all goes well with your journey into fatherhood," Edd congratulated him, "My friend Ed and his wife are expecting their first child soon, though I suppose you already knew that, since you were the DJ at their wedding."

"Yeah, I remember," Sasha replied, "I'm happy for 'em." Something seemed to occur to him as he began rooting around behind Edd's seat while keeping his eyes on the road. "I have the sudden urge to listen to something…"

Finally, he retrieved a large, leather case and set it in his lap. After a moment of watching the road, he opened it up and pulled out a CD, which he then inserted into the dash. The music started up and he began singing along with it, rewording it slightly to reflect his sexual orientation.

"Outer space boy," he sang, "I'm sending out a message to you. Outer space boy. I'm sending out a message to you. Are you receiving me?"

Edd had to admit, Sasha could certainly sing better than that psychotic bastard Lucas, making the experience that much more enjoyable. His attention wandered as he questioned just how many songs existed that featured the topic of extraterrestrial life. He knew that only 4 percent of space had been explored by humans, thus there was no end to the theories that persisted about life existing in that vast expanse. As the stars flickered above the rising sun, Edd allowed himself the humorous notion that, if aliens existed, they would likely have to topple a tyrant like Lucas, which he imagines would be a simple task for beings of such higher intelligence.

As the sun continued to rise, Sasha finally decided to talk about more civilized topics, or at least less disgusting ones. Edd listened to him drone on about the media and his preferences regarding TV shows and movies with much more interest than their previous topic.

"And people keep recommending me 'Queer as Folk' — as if I watch erotic soap operas," Sasha scoffed, speaking animatedly, "I mean, seriously, if you're gonna recommend me something, at least make it a good horror movie — y'know, something I'd actually have a chance of finding engaging. Gimme something involving killer kids, psychos slashing through horny teens, or Japanese ghosts. Nightmare on Elm Street 2 almost nailed it when they featured a canon gay character, so that at least wasn't a total bust. Now, if there were a gay couple in horror movies or a gay 'Final Girl', I'd watch the hell out of it. Representation, yo!"

And so on and so forth as they drove down the highway.

ABABABA

Against Sasha's estimate, it wound up taking three days before they finally reached their destination. After pulling over every so often to eat a real meal, use the restroom, and sleep, they'd lost a full day tending to the typical needs of any person.

Upon reaching the cabin, they spotted a familiar Rolls Royce in the driveway, along with a very familiar face.

"Oh fucking hell, it's Malcolm Holmes…" Sasha groaned as they parked behind the old man.

Malcolm advanced towards them slowly, looking like a zombie from one of Ed's B-movies. His young wife and stepmother to Lucas stood by, watching them with uneasy interest. Edd's heart beat against his chest in anticipation like a bird desperately trying to escape its cage as Malcolm walked up along side the car; leaning over when Sasha rolled down the window.

"Hello, Mr. Holmes, how are you this fine night?" Sasha greeted breathlessly, "Remember me? I…I'm the catalyst that led your son to accept his bisexual friend. Oh yeah, and…y'know…the person your son and his friends bullied throughout school. Fun times, that."

He concluded with a forced laugh, drawing Edd to rub his eyes with a groan.

"Smooth, Sasha. Real smooth…" he muttered under his breath before sitting up to address Malcolm as well, "Pardon our intrusion, sir. We've come here looking for Lucas. We…I have reason to believe that he and his friends may be intending to harm someone at this location. He's already brought harm to my domestic partner through a sick and twisted loan shark slavery scheme at the car lot he obtained ownership of and…I believe he might have something…worse…in mind for this individual."

Humming softly, Malcolm's face twisted into fatherly disappointment. To Edd's surprise, it seemed that he was readily accepting that his son was capable of these terrible things. Perhaps a good sign after all?

"We've got many things to discuss," the man sighed, "Please, come inside and we'll talk."

Sharing a look as Malcolm began walking away, Sasha and Edd timidly followed suit, stepping from the car and following their host inside. The cabin certainly looked like a few updates had been made to it since the 1980s, even though Edd hadn't seen it before this. The most obvious addition was the internet router and the flat screen television. The place had obviously been used quite often judging by how well-maintained it was.

Malcolm eyed Edd as they took a seat in a large study, possibly wary of strangers in his home.

"What did you say your name was again?" he asked, his brow cocked.

"Apologies, but I didn't," Edd answered, "It's Eddward Vincent, sir."

"Ah, Vincent," Malcolm nodded in recognition, "Your parents were pillars in the community before their untimely passing. Such intellectuals who zeroed in on even the minor details of an educational study laid before them." He paused before nodding to him. "I'm sorry for your loss. If I wasn't busy the day of their funeral, I'd have attended to pay my respects."

Edd was taken aback. Malcolm knew who his parents were? That was a little unnerving, to say the least. However, the conversation didn't linger there, leaving him no time to think on it more than that.

"I'm an old man," Malcolm continued, "I've done quite a bit of regrettable things in my time. Blinding myself to the fact that my wife was a Type 1 Diabetic and subsequently ignoring my only heir, simply because I was overcome with grief and couldn't handle single-fatherhood. I ignored the cries for attention that my son would make when he left dead rodents and snakes in my bed as a child, or when he bit his ballet teacher's ankle. He always liked hurting those around him, but I'd assume they were merely acts of child rambunctiousness."

"Have you considered at all that your son's a violent sociopath?" Sasha snapped, "All because of your shitty parenting?"

"Sasha!" Edd hissed, fearing the consequences of insulting their host who might be hanging onto their discussion by the barest of threads.

"I'm sorry!" Sasha retorted, "But it needs to be said! A child violently lashing out like that is grounds for a real parent to send their kid to counseling. You, on the other hand, allowed it to fester until Matthew came around to teach him to channel that rage into doing his bidding. You're the reason Matthew was able to manipulate Lucas the way he does. Your son was looking for a mentor and Matthew filled that role in the worst way possible."

"You've grown to be quite a spirited man, Sasha," Malcolm remarked, looking more amused than offended, "I remember when you were the timid young man that Lucas antagonized on a daily basis." He took a moment to collect his thoughts. "Anyway, I'm not denying anything you've said. On top of my own neglect of that situation, I allowed him to be coddled rather than punished for his actions. After his grandmother's passing, I had to go through several nannies until I found one that could calm him down by spoiling him. A solution that was obviously not ideal." Deep regret etched across his face as he grimaced before sighing. "But even knowing all of that, I can't take back what he's done or what I did to enable it. I can, however, give you something more valuable than gold to help you in another way."

"What way is that?" Edd asked, brow furrowed.

Holding up a finger to ask for a moment, Malcolm stood and walked to an old filing cabinet in the room. After scouring through the folders within, he found the item he was looking for and crossed the room with a video tape in hand. There, he inserted the tape into a VCR and turned on the connected television. The image that came to life was security camera footage from Malcolm's manor. Edd recognized that corridor well and clutched his fist against the memories of the night he'd lost his virginity.

For a moment, nothing happened. The hall merely sat, dark and silent. That is, until a woman came into frame. Upon closer inspection, they recognized that the woman was Lucas' step mother. A sense of realization began creeping up Edd's spine as she neared the stairway. Another figure entered the scene and Malcolm turned away, a pained look on his face. The realization turned to dread as Edd began to piece together what was about to happen.

And then…

A silent scream as the woman on the screen began tumbling down the stairs. The second figure was clearer to see with her out of the way. Lucas himself, still poised from his shove, smirking after her before disappearing back into one of the rooms. Shortly after, Malcolm arrived on the scene, panicked.

The tape suddenly stopped, replaced with static as the recording was rewound. Edd and Sasha sat in silence. The latter looked shocked, but perhaps more at the scene itself than with the perpetrator of the act. Edd only shook off his terror once Malcolm retrieved the tape and handed it to him.

"Use this…to make Lucas return ownership of that car lot," he said softly.

"Blackmail?" Sasha pointed out, "Won't he wonder how we got it?"

Malcolm shrugged; "Tell him my maid found it while cleaning. That you got it from her."

"Why now?" Edd asked, "Why did you keep this from the authorities when it happened?"

Malcolm shook his head; "Like I said…I've done many things I've come to regret. I wanted to protect my son from his mistakes. I wanted to believe I hadn't seen what I did. But at this point, I see now that I've let it persist too long. I can't let him go on hurting people. I think the information on this tape will be more than enough to convince Lucas to do as you ask and to begin to make up for what I've allowed him to do."

Sasha still didn't look too convinced — still had questions that needed answering — but Edd clutched the tape close, tears welling in his eyes.

"Thank you, sir," he accepted graciously, "I hope it's enough."

"You're quite welcome," Malcolm smiled before giving them a stern look, "I know you're both upset with him, and you have every right to be, but my son is not a monster. He's just blinded by his own bitter rage. I hope that…with the reveal of that tape, he'll have the wake up call he needs to get his life back in order. But at least you can move on." With that, he rose to his feet and nodded to the door. "Now, if you'll both excuse me, my wife is waiting for me in the bedroom. I'm sorry that you came all this way just for that, but I must ask you to leave."

Nodding in understanding, Sasha and Edd stood as well to take their leave, with Malcolm's words echoing in their minds. A father's plea for his wayward son. He seemed to be the only one who was under the impression that Lucas could be redeemed. And maybe he was right? Perhaps, as his father, Malcolm truly knew him best and knew that he could be rehabilitated into a shrewd businessman not unlike himself?

Of course, Edd wasn't going to hold his breath. He had a better chance of teaching Niels Bohr to take Sasha's rainbow belt off of him than for Lucas to be redeemed.

As they returned to the car, Sasha stopped dead in his tracks. Edd turned to him, his brow furrowed.

"What's wrong?" he asked, thinking nothing else awry.

"It just hit me…" Sasha mumbled back, "If Malcolm's here…where are Lucas, Matthew, and Seth?"

Sasha's words hit Edd like a truck and the panic settled in.