How the hell was she still alive?
Petra knelt in the sand with the eternity of stars overhead and tried to work out how she was still here, in PATHS. How she could still think and feel.
Where the hell her husband had gone.
"What the fuck?" she whispered.
"Mama!"
Armin and Oruo came bounding over to her, launching themselves into her arms. Petra just sat there, numb and astonished, as her children squeezed and kissed her. Armin especially seemed blissful, snuggling right up to her and closing his eyes with a happy smile on his lips. She remembered him as a baby, cuddling up in just that way. Tears burned her eyes.
Her babies were still here.
But where the fuck was Levi?
"Mama?"
Kuchel stood over her, looking concerned. Behind her daughter, Petra saw Eren and Historia whispering together. They both looked beyond confused. That was the last thing in the world she wanted to see: Eren Jaeger unsure of what was going on.
"Hold on." Petra kissed the boys and stood, hugged Kuchel. "Hold on, sweeties."
"Where'd Papa go?" Kuchel demanded as Petra inserted herself into the adults' conversation.
"What the hell is happening?" Petra whispered. Historia and Eren shared a troubled glance. She would tear both their heads off if they didn't speak up soon.
"I…I'm not sure," Eren replied. It took all of Petra's power not to knock him to the ground and stomp him to nothingness. Her fists clenched at her sides.
"Where is my husband?" she snapped. Petra yanked Eren and Historia away, guiding them off to where the zombie-like Ymir wandered about, staring off into the void with no apparent interest in anyone or anything. Petra couldn't believe that this was where the power of the titans came from: a detached child, a ghost. She forced herself not to start screaming.
"I think I know what this is," Historia said. She knelt and took a handful of sand, let the grains sift through her fingers. It was almost like she was getting information from the PATHS themselves, through touch. "The change has been made. The old world and universe are gone."
"So." Petra felt numb inside. Her parents, her friends, her home: all gone. She and her children were stranded.
But how were they still alive? Were they…?
"Please don't tell me I'm trapped here forever," she choked. An eternity in this airless place without Levi? What had she done to deserve such a fate?
Levi…
He's gone. The man he'd been with her, the man she'd loved for so long had vanished from reality itself. They could never be together again. You could not find what had never existed. Petra hunched over. Please let her die. Let her and her children vanish like smoke in the wind. Better that, better oblivion than life without hope of him.
"The entire universe was gone in a fraction of a second," Historia continued. She looked up at Petra. "But time works differently in PATHS."
Oh. Oh, fuck. That was right.
"So how long…?" She felt dizzy. Eren seemed to understand what Historia meant, too.
"I think," Historia said slowly, "that this little bubble can only last a day or two at most."
So. She had another couple of days here, waiting for oblivion to swallow her and her children. Petra began to shake her head, grit her teeth. She could endure many things, but not this sadistic fuckery. It wasn't fair. She had to sit here waiting, like sitting on the shore anticipating a giant wave that would drown her and her children.
"Mama, where'd Papa go?" Kuchel was at her side, more demanding than ever. How was Petra going to keep this secret for two days?
You can't. You have to tell them the truth.
Petra wanted to scream. She'd done the right thing, and all she got in return was more agony. More terror.
"Mama?" Kuchel's voice started to quaver. "I'm scared."
"I know, baby." Petra kissed Kuchel's cheek. The boys trotted over, regarding their mother with frightened eyes. "Listen. Let's sit down. There's something I need to tell you all."
She did not tell them that they would all vanish into oblivion; no child needed that. She said simply that they were all going to die and join Levi in heaven. The children didn't understand what she was saying. Petra had to repeat it slowly and carefully a couple of times before they began to comprehend. Armin hugged his stuffed tiger tightly and didn't otherwise move. He seemed to be stunned. Oruo got to his feet and began to demand answers to increasingly terrified questions.
Kuchel…
She just sat there hugging her knees.
"Papa doesn't exist anymore," she muttered. She was able to comprehend the magnitude of what Petra had said.
"He's just gone on to heaven," Petra repeated. "We're going to go meet him soon."
Kuchel stood. She had a look of such ferocity in her eyes that it stunned Petra. She recalled when Kuchel was three and Levi had 'died.' The anger in the little girl had been astronomical.
"He doesn't exist anymore!" Kuchel shouted. Her face screwed up. "And we're not gonna exist, either."
Armin let out a terrified scream and buried his face in his tiger. He clung to Petra, and Oruo plucked at her tearfully, begging her to let them go home. He wanted to see his grandparents. His friends.
It was all gone. All of it. All of them.
Petra held her boys close. She motioned for Kuchel, but her daughter wouldn't sit. She glared at Petra like she'd been betrayed.
"There was no other way." Petra felt a million years old as her children sobbed. "If Papa and I hadn't done it, the whole world would have gone away. Everyone would have died."
"Why us?" Kuchel's lip quivered. "We weren't supposed to be born. Were we?"
No. But Petra couldn't say that.
"You are the most precious and important things in the world to me. And to Papa." Petra wished that oblivion would hurry up and get here. "Any world is better for having you in it."
Armin wailed. Oruo buried his face in her shoulder.
Eren and Historia were talking together with great animation. Historia wiped some tears away. Eren ran hands through his long hair. They looked agitated.
She couldn't stand this shit anymore.
"Hold on, babies." She kissed her boys and went to the adults. "Whatever you're discussing, tell me."
"There…" Eren clenched his jaw. Historia gestured angrily, spurring him on. "There might be one way."
"One way for what?" Petra's heart stopped.
"To save all of you."
Eren cried out when she grabbed him and flipped him over her shoulder. The young man lay there, stunned, as Petra gripped a fistful of shirt and lifted his face to hers.
"Why the fuck didn't you say anything before?" she bellowed. The kids squealed in fear.
"Nothing like it's ever been attempted." Historia sounded truly frightened. "If it goes wrong, more than one universe could be warped. Or even worse, disappear."
"Hold on. Universes? More than one?" Petra let go of Eren. "How many…?"
"No one really knows." Historia pointed to the great tree of light. "But the PATHS don't just link all Eldians. They also link us to many different places. Time works differently there." She looked more scared the more she spoke. "Ten years could pass in our world, while only five seconds passed there. Or the other way around. No one's ever tried moving from one world or universe to the next."
"But it's possible?" Petra's fingertips buzzed.
Historia nodded. "Like I said. I've been here a long, long time. I've learned a lot. But Petra, no one's ever done this before. I don't even know if it's really possible."
But if this worked…
"We could live somewhere else?" She felt dizzy. "The kids and I, and Levi. We could go somewhere?"
"You and the kids can't be alive in this universe," Eren said quietly. "If you were, reality would rip apart. But you could start over somewhere else."
"How?" She wanted to throw up. "By just walking into the tree?"
"Only the Founder can create a new PATH," Eren said slowly. He stood. "The way Historia explained it to me—"
"It's pretty complicated." Historia chewed her lip. "But I try to think of it as like ODM. When you need to get from one place to the other, you shoot a hook and cable, attach it, and then pull yourself over."
Petra began to understand. "The Founder is the only one who can shoot a hook, attach it—"
"And then, once the PATH is created, Eldians can walk down it. Like a cable. Like a bridge." Eren rubbed his nose. "That's the idea, anyway."
Think. She just needed to think.
"What do I have to do?"
"You have to walk into that." Historia pointed at the giant tree of light. The thing looked like some monstrous crack in the heavens. Instinctively, Petra pulled away.
"No."
"Then there's nothing else to do but wait."
She glanced at her children, all of them miserable. Her babies deserved to live.
"I can…make a place for us all? In some other world?" Her stomach contracted. It sounded like madness.
"It's the only chance. If you can't do this, you'll blink out of existence," Eren said. He appeared strained.
"You'll vanish, too," she said. "This version of you, anyway."
He made a dismissive noise. "Yes. I'll have to go back to being a genocidal maniac."
Petra's mouth fell open in horror. "What?"
"The Rumbling. Remember?" He looked down at his hands, hatred burning in his eyes. Self-hatred. "It's complicated, but it all comes down to Mikasa." He winced. "And Armin. My Armin. But yes. In this other timeline, I'll become the greatest mass murderer in history."
How horrible must it be, to allow the better version of yourself to be erased? To know that you're going to murder millions, even billions of innocent people? Petra felt sorry for Eren, even though she didn't want to. She wanted to stay angry.
But she wasn't the angry type.
"I wish you had a chance," she whispered.
"Yeah. Well." Eren shrugged. "Come on. I'll go with you."
Petra hugged the kids one last time, promised to be right back, and then began to walk towards the tree across the sands. Behind her, Petra heard the boys crying and calling her name. She looked back once, and saw Kuchel managing them.
Her little girl was being so brave. Petra had to be brave, too.
When they were ten feet from the tree, Petra felt as if she'd go blind. The world around her seemed to be made of light. She winced, holding a hand to her eyes to block out the glare. The tree made some kind of thrumming noise. Her eardrums pulsated in time with it.
"I can't go in. Only the Founder can do this," Eren said.
"How do I do this?"
"No one's ever done it before. You have to be the first. Find a world. Make the PATH."
"Yes," Petra whispered. That was the Survey Corps way, wasn't it? To go forth into the unknown and try your best, even if it meant your life. To bring humanity forward. Holding her breath, she stepped into the light.
She became the light. It whispered loudly in her ears, crept into every pore of her body. She forgot what it was to have a head or hands. Petra began to feel herself unraveling; she could live here, in this light. Swim in it. Let it devour her. She could…
Levi.
His sacrifice couldn't be in vain. He deserved to live out a real life, free from all this hell. Petra gritted her teeth. She had to save him, too.
How do I do this? How?
Petra began to panic and flail, but steadied herself. She tried speaking, though she wasn't sure if she was speaking with her mouth or just her mind.
Show me the other worlds.
A flood of images crashed over her. At first, it was like a cacophony of sound, except the sound was pictures. But over time, Petra was able to get control of herself. She began to discern individual places. Petra skimmed through a selection of realities, choosing universes as if shopping with a catalogue. She saw mountains and meadows, lakes and rivers. She saw cities and small towns. She saw worlds without walls. She saw wars, and poverty, and peace and plenty. She picked through them one by one. Petra hunted for hours, for decades, for a mere moment. She wanted the right place. The perfect place for her family.
There.
Instinctively, Petra reached out for the chosen image. It looked like a broken shard of mirror. Her hands couldn't grab hold; it wasn't physical. Petra had to use her mind. She had to let instinct guide her. Like an ODM hook, she latched herself to it, and then whispered, Build a PATH.
And before her, there stretched a golden road. It led into that shard.
And…
She was back. Petra was seated outside of the tree, back under the starry sky in her own PATHS dimension. Eren helped her to stand.
"You did it." He sounded awed. "Holy shit."
The golden path snaked out of the tree. At the end of the path, that broken window beckoned her towards another universe. A safer one.
"Kids!" Petra shouted. She was shaking with hope and fear. What if they could not survive in this new place? What if they died soon after going through the portal, like fish flopping on land? But it was a chance. Better to die while taking a chance than enter oblivion willingly.
"Mama?" Oruo clung to her left hand, Armin to her right. Her little black-haired boy regarded the path with wary eyes. He very rarely appeared frightened, but now he looked terrified. "Mama, what is that?"
"It's okay, babies." She knelt and hugged and kissed her sons. "That path is going to lead us to a new home."
"Huh? You mean we don't hafta go away?" Armin sounded amazed.
"That's right." She blinked back tears. "We can live there together. You and me and Papa."
"Without Grandma and Grandpa?" Kuchel's lip quivered. Petra's heart broke to see it, and broke to think of never seeing her parents again. They wouldn't exist in this new world. She picked up a handful of sand, let it run through her fingers. If only…
Wait.
"Eren? The PATHS store every Eldian, don't they?"
"They do." He looked neutral as he spoke. "But again, I don't know what will happen if—"
But Petra took Historia aside. She told the queen an order to give to Ymir.
"That may not work," Historia said. But she looked impressed. Astonished.
"We have to try. Please."
So Historia went to Ymir and told her what to do.
Petra was afraid that the little girl would have to rebuild all of them out of sand, but that didn't seem to be the case. As she watched, shadowy figures emerged from out of the darkness. PATHS ghosts, Eren called them. They passed Petra and the children without a single look, and walked the glowing path up into the crack in the sky. Petra shivered when she saw her mother and father. Even Willem. And Brigitta.
She couldn't bring a million people with her, but she asked for everyone she could think of, every Eldian she knew. The 104th. Mikasa. Armin Arlert.
Erwin. She watched as his PATHS ghost came out of the dark and stepped onto the bridge of light. Armin whimpered to see his father. Petra hugged her child. Erwin was a good man who became a monster for our sake. He deserves the chance to live in peace with his son.
Rico and Anka and Pixis and Nile and Marie and on and on. By the time she was done, nearly three hundred souls had crossed the divide from one world into the next. Petra shook, still unsure what exactly she'd created. Who knew how this would work? She'd selected a world that had looked hospitable, even kindly. Quiet, and tranquil. But when she and the others stepped into that world, would they blend seamlessly? Or would it be a nightmare?
Well. Between this or oblivion, she would choose this every time.
"Mama. Can we go now?" Kuchel clung to Petra's arm. She understood what was happening, and was so excited she'd started to cry. "Let's go."
Yes. They would go.
Except that one ghost had not walked the path. Petra had kept a lookout for him, but he hadn't appeared.
"Where is he?" She looked at Eren. "Where's Levi?"
Both Eren and Historia seemed baffled.
Oh, fuck.
"Where's Papa?" Kuchel started to get agitated. Petra grabbed Eren by the front of his shirt again; screw being nice.
"He's not… I don't know." Eren made a pained face. "I'm sorry. I have no idea."
Petra roared. So close, and yet she could not have him. After all this. She hauled back, ready to punch Eren.
"I think I can explain!" Historia got between them. "Hopefully I can. Look. When Levi altered the future, the universe we were living in disappeared. Right now, this PATHS dimension is all that remains of it. It's like a little bubble."
"Okay. And?" Petra gritted her teeth.
"I think when Levi altered that future, the him from this timeline merged with the him from the alternate one."
What the fuck? It took Petra a minute to parse that out. But to her horror, it made some sense. Levi's action had changed the timeline. He hadn't disappeared so much as he had changed.
Was he a completely different person now? Or was any of him left?
Kuchel sat down and started wailing. The poor baby was so tired, so scared. Armin hugged her. Oruo clung to Petra's leg. Petra stroked his hair and clenched a fist. She had not dragged her children through hell only for them to lose their father.
"So he's not in this PATHS," Petra said slowly, "because he's in this other universe."
"Otherwise he'd be here," Historia said.
"Then how do I get him back?"
Eren was silent. So was the queen.
"I'm sorry," he said. Historia turned down her eyes.
There was no way. No hope. No chance.
"Fuck your sorry." Petra felt nothing. In fact, she almost smiled as she spoke. She had never felt so free. So hateful. "Fuck everything you've done to me and my family. You both had the power to stop this from happening, and you didn't. I hate you both." Her teeth chattered with rage. "I hate you both so fucking much."
"There were only a couple of choices that didn't lead to the universe's annihilation," Eren said, but Petra held up her hand.
"I don't give a shit. You've taken my husband from me." Her chin trembled. There would be no Levi in this other world. They would be parted forever, no way to bridge that divide. "You've tortured my children. Both of you can go to hell."
Petra walked away, just walked away from all of them. Oruo yelled for her to come back, but she wouldn't go far. Petra needed a moment to fucking grieve. She needed to be alone.
She fell to her knees and finally gave in to the misery. She hugged herself and cried and cried. She had opened up the universe, altered reality, summoned the dead, and yet this? This was where she could go no further.
She would never see his face or hear his voice again. Not even in the afterlife, if there was one. They would be universes apart, and there would be no Founder to bring them together.
But she…was the Founder. For now.
Petra sat down hard on the ground. The tears dried up. She stared straight ahead, doing nothing but picking up handfuls of sand and letting them slip away. Think. She had to think.
She picked over the idea again and again, twisting it this way and that, looking for a way. Maybe. Maybe she could…
But she couldn't take the kids. They'd have to go to their new home alone; she'd have to catch up. A real leap of faith. Could she do that? Leave them alone in a strange new world, even for a moment? What if she failed and lost them forever?
But it was this, or never see Levi again. She got up and returned.
"I have an idea," Petra announced. "I'm going after him."
She must have looked scary in that moment, because Historia flinched.
"What are you saying?" Eren asked.
"Listen." Her mind was twisting and turning. She wanted to find Hange, then remembered she'd already sent the woman across the bridge. Fuck. Petra was no use with this theoretical nonsense. She was a practical woman. But she had to try to explain, or she would lose him forever. "It's like you said, like ODM. I'll 'hook' the bridge that leads to the new world, and then zoom down, um, into the old…timeline…" Even as she said it, Petra felt how hopeless it was. It didn't even make sense.
"You want to create a path for yourself that connects to the alternate timeline, and use it to bring Levi back?" Eren looked blank. "I mean…it could work. Or it could absolutely fail."
"So what?"
"So if you fail, the balance between universes could upend again and we could wind up just as fucked as before."
Petra looked at her weeping children. Kuchel was cuddling her brothers, but she was still such a little girl. She wailed for her father.
"Levi's only ever sacrificed," Petra said, not taking her eyes from Kuchel. "He gave up everything he loved to save a world that will never thank him for it. Right now he's trapped in war and suffering. I can't let that be where it ends for him." Her throat closed up. "I'm going to get him back. And honestly, I don't give a shit what happens because of it."
Eren and Historia conferred together quietly. Historia knelt in the sand.
"Here's the idea." She started drawing as she spoke, creating a diagram of sorts. "We're here." She drew a circle. "Right now, the bridge is open to the new world." She drew an arrow going east. "But you want to open another path." She drew one going west.
"I'm the Founder. I can do anything."
Historia worried her lip. "But once you leave this 'bubble', this PATHS dimension is gone." She scribbled out both arrows. "You could end up stranded in the alternate timeline, and we already know what happens when impossible things show up. Reality could be in trouble."
Fuck. Fuck, that was right. There was no reason for the PATHS to remain once the Founder left. Petra sat beside Historia, staring at the circle and its arrows. She put her face in her hands. The queen rubbed her back; Petra shoved her off. She didn't want these people's comfort.
She just sat there and stared and stared, prolonging the moments until she'd have to take the children and cross the bridge and leave this reality behind forever.
It's like ODM. She sat there with her eyes shut. It's like ODM.
To work the ODM, you needed a hook. But you also needed a cable.
Petra's eyes snapped open.
"I need a cable," she whispered.
"Huh?" Historia looked surprised as Petra got back up and walked in a circle, hands shielding her face on either side. She thought harder than she ever had in her life.
"If I have something like a cable that tethers me to this PATHS world, I can go and come back here with Levi. It won't break the connection, so the bubble won't disappear. Then when I bring him here, we can cross the bridge together."
"But…there isn't a cable that exists that could let you do that." Historia sounded mystified.
But now Eren was thinking as well.
"It doesn't need to be an actual cable." He bit the inside of his cheek. "Yes. Shit, that might actually work."
Petra's heart sped up. She could find Levi. She could bring him home.
"What could she use?" Historia asked.
"Something with a limit," Eren said. "ODM cable only stretches so far. There needs to be some kind of limit on it…"
"A watch?" Petra shrugged. "A watch counting down the amount of time I could be there. Fuck, even going there for a little while will completely change the universe." She dug the heels of her palms into her eyes. She wished Hange were here.
"If you're a visitor from another reality, everything may go back to normal once you're gone. Like you never existed." Eren frowned. "Or maybe not. I have no idea."
"There's a lot we don't know about this." Historia sounded stressed. "We could make everything so much worse than it was."
"It doesn't matter. This is the only shot in hell I have of finding Levi and bringing him home, so I'm doing it."
Petra asked Historia, who told Ymir to fashion a watch. It was a stopwatch, which clearly ticked out twenty-four hours. Yes. One full day. It would be enough time to find him and bring him back. Petra hoped it would be. He would grow old with her and see their children and their grandchildren live and play. He would be happy. She would not let anything else stand in their way.
Except…
"The kids," Petra whispered. The children had kept huddled in a group all the while the adults drew up their plans. She couldn't have them wait here. If something went wrong with this plan, and it almost certainly would, they could be erased. There was only one option. Petra gathered the kids in a circle. "Now listen. I'm going to get Papa back."
"Uncle Levi?" Armin brightened up. She kissed the little angel.
"That's right."
"R-Really?" Kuchel looked tearily relieved. It broke Petra's heart.
"But here's the thing. I need you all to be safe while I go get Papa. That means you have to cross the bridge into the other world. Without me."
Oruo began to fuss and cry. Her poor baby. Petra cradled him against her chest as he began to melt down. He was a stoic little boy, but he was also only seven years old. He screamed 'No, Mama!' and tore at her clothes. She hugged him tight.
"I'll be back, sweetheart. It's just for a little while."
But she couldn't promise that, could she? They'd already acknowledged that time worked differently in the different spheres. Twenty-four hours for her might be the blink of an eye for them. Or it might be eighty years. There was no guarantee she'd be reunited with her children.
A good mother would give up Levi as a lost cause and take care of the kids. But Petra couldn't leave her husband. They'd carried the universe on their shoulders; that kind of sacrifice demanded a reward.
"What if you don't come back?" Armin's chin quivered, and he burst into tears as well. He clutched her. "Stay! Mama, stay!"
Oruo took a few huffing breaths and sobbed his heart out. Petra held her sons tight.
"If I don't do this, we'll never see Papa ever again," she whispered. The boys were still inconsolable. But Kuchel stood up.
"Never?" she whispered.
"Never. I'm sorry." Petra hugged her teary little boys. "You've all had to go through so much, and you don't deserve any of it." A lump formed in her throat, but now that her children were panicking she faltered. If she messed up, they would be stranded in a potentially hostile new world. Alone. "Listen. Maybe I should come with you." The boys stopped sniffling. She wiped their cheeks even as her heart shattered. "Maybe there's no way to get Papa back."
Saying the words made her want to die. But Levi would never forgive her for abandoning the children.
Kuchel calmly walked over and took her brothers' hands.
"I can take care of them," she said. Her little girl wore a fierce but steady gaze. "Go get Papa."
Oruo kept whimpering, but Armin hugged Kuchel's arm. He looked miserable, but he saw what Petra was saying.
"Okay." His voice sounded small. "Please, Mama. I don't want to keep saying goodbye."
She fell to her knees and hugged him. She buried her face in his hair. Her little boy. She'd dreamed of him for years, felt the agony of their separation every single second. Why couldn't she stop fighting? She just wanted to be his mother.
"I'll come back, my darling." She kissed his little face. "And I'll never leave you again. I promise. We'll have birthdays and holidays and bedtime stories. I love you so much."
Armin nodded. His eyes were wide and teary, but he trusted her. Kuchel hugged her mother. There was desperation in her embrace.
"Please find Papa." Kuchel didn't sound frightened at all now. Only determined.
"I will."
Oruo was inconsolable as Petra kissed and hugged him goodbye. She took the children to the bridge and watched as they began to walk up it. When they were halfway there, Oruo pulled out of Kuchel's grip and launched himself back into Petra's arms.
"No! No, no, noooo!" He screeched himself hoarse. Petra sat down and hugged and rocked her baby.
"You are the light of my life," she whispered. "I'll come and find you with Papa. We'll never be parted again. Just be my brave little guy a little while longer."
Oruo squeezed Petra tight. Whenever she thought he was loosening his hold, he panicked and hugged her again. Finally, she managed to give him to Kuchel, who gently led him up the bridge. Before the kids walked into the light of a new world, Oruo looked back one last time with an expression of misery.
His face was Levi's. Petra choked on a sob.
Then the children were gone. She wrapped her arms around herself, shook. She could just go. Even if she found Levi, how could she separate the two versions of him? Just thinking it made her feel insane.
But she had held him in her arms. She'd soothed his nightmares. Petra couldn't believe that much love was meant to evaporate. They were destined to be together. She'd always felt it in the pit of her stomach. She needed to believe that, despite whatever common sense told her.
She could bring him back.
It's like ODM. I have to attach the hook and pull him along.
It was the only thing that made sense.
"Are you ready?" Eren asked. "If you're going to do this, you need to do it now."
Petra got up and dusted the sand from her knees. Her babies were safe. They would survive now, not blink out of existence. Anything else was extra.
"Ready," she said.
Before she went, he gave a brief summary of the alternate timeline, as much as he'd seen of it. As much as she could expect. She learned who was in the 'Alliance', where they would go, how they would defeat him.
When Petra had all the information she could hold, it was time.
She returned to the tree and shut her eyes. This time, her control was better. It didn't take long to find the reality that had replaced her own. She tore it open in the sky, and extended a bridge down for herself. Historia and Eren stood by her side.
"You two should go," Petra said. "Cross into the other world. Mikasa and Armin won't want to be without you, Eren."
"Let me stay," Historia said. "I can help control the Founder."
"But if I can't do this, you could disappear."
"I know that I survive and have a family in this other timeline. That can be enough." Historia smiled softly. "Both of you, go. Before it's too late."
Petra looked at Eren. He still appeared fierce and feral, twenty years old.
"I don't know if I'll change on the other side," he said.
"Me neither. If you do keep yourself, I mean, if you remember, please—"
"I'll take care of them." He was earnest. For that, she gave him a brief hug. Then Eren walked up the bridge into the other world, and vanished.
"Go," Historia whispered. "Now."
Petra's heart pounded in her chest as she walked up the other bridge of light and gazed into the torn window of another reality. She clutched the watch. It had to be enough. Ymir had 'linked' the PATH to the watch. When time ran out, Petra would be pulled back here. Like on a cable.
Please work. Please let me find him.
Taking a deep breath, she plunged into the white hot void and fell. She fell for a long time.
When Petra opened her eyes, the sky was blue and the ground was rumbling.
"What the—?" Groggy, she sat up and looked around. Her vision was blurry to begin with, but gradually she began to recognize the streets around her. She'd been here before. Yes. It was… "Shiganshina."
But it looked different. It wasn't as 'modern' as the Shiganshina she'd known. Marleyan technology hadn't completely taken over Paradis yet.
But the ground was rumbling…
Fuck. It was as Eren had said.
Petra got up, her legs shaky. She remembered.
In this timeline, I start the Rumbling. I do it to save my friends and what remains of humanity after it's all over.
That sounds terrible, she'd said. He'd shrugged.
The point is Levi will be traveling to fight me along with the others. They'll be headed to the southern port in order to steal a boat and go to Ohida. You have to find him before he leaves on that boat. You'll never catch up otherwise.
Why couldn't she just have been dumped wherever Levi was? Why did everything have to be hard?
"It's the Survey Corps way," she muttered.
As Petra stumbled through the streets, she realized something else was off.
She knew Shiganshina had been restored after the war against Zeke and the other shifters, but now several of the buildings were smashed up. Debris lay scattered in the cobblestone streets.
It looked like titans had been here, but none were around. Had the wall titans caused it when they awakened to start the Rumbling?
And where the hell was everybody? The streets were deserted, the houses and shops empty. Petra came to the central square, the military HQ straight ahead. She halted when she saw soldiers marching. She didn't know them; she wouldn't, would she? Most of the Survey Corps had died during the return to Shiganshina. It was one of the things that hadn't changed between her timeline and this one.
Petra frowned when she noticed something tied around the soldiers' arms. White bandanas.
Eren hadn't mentioned anything about that. What did they mean?
"Excuse me?" She walked into the square.
The soldiers turned as one. Within instants, they had their guns trained upon her.
"Don't move!" one of them shouted. Petra instantly put her hands in the air. She knew the drill well. "Who are you? What are you doing here?"
"I'm…" Her brain just spun aimlessly. She was too stunned by the sight of Survey Corps soldiers turning their weapons on her.
"All civilians were cleared out." The soldier approached her, still aiming his gun. "Again, who are you? Answer, or I'll shoot!"
Shit.
"Are you a Jaegerist?" the soldier asked.
"She doesn't have an armband," someone else said.
"I…" Petra had to think fast. If they killed her in this timeline, she might be truly dead. Who knew what would happen to the fabric of reality then. "I had to come back to get someone. I'm sorry. I didn't know it was that wrong!"
"You were ordered to remain outside of the city until further notice!"
"Who are you looking for?" The first soldier approached. "Where's your house?"
Think, damn you.
"Let's shoot her." The second soldier lifted his gun, and Petra froze.
"Wait!" The first made them all stand down. "She could be a civilian or a spy. Either way, the Commander will want to be told."
The Commander? Petra allowed the men to grab her by the arms and haul her away. Her feet were clumsy. Her brain was still addled from her strange journey. Petra looked about. Where was Levi? If this was truly the Rumbling, then her husband was an enemy of the state now. And, according to Eren, severely wounded.
He'll survive. Eren said Levi survived to the end.
But he had to be in so much pain.
She needed to get out of here. She had to find her way to the southern port. That was the only place she knew for certain Levi would be. If the ground was still rumbling, he probably hadn't left yet. She hoped.
But every minute that passed, her 'cable' length grew a little shorter. She had to go.
The men dragged her into the HQ building. The place was half demolished, with shards of window glass strewn across the floor. Bits of wall were missing here and there. They pulled her up the main staircase to the second floor, then hauled her down to the station commander's office.
Petra recalled Erwin's office back in Trost. Even after she'd begun to fear him, the Commander's office had always felt safe. A place of protection. The soldiers opened the door and shoved her through. Petra collapsed to her hands and knees on the rug.
"This woman says she's a civilian. She was wandering around the streets. Sir? What should we do?"
A pair of black boots stopped just before Petra.
"She's pretty hot. A little old, but still cute."
Old? She was thirty-fucking-four. And that voice… Of course it would be him.
Floch Forster crouched before her. The little shithead was the Commander now. Petra's vision blurred. Eren had prepared her for much of this new timeline, but not everything. She wished she'd known this.
"You," she breathed without thinking. Floch lifted a brow.
"We know each other?" He curled his lip. "Let me guess. You're one of the volunteers."
"Who?" She was genuinely baffled, until she realized he meant the Marleyans. Shit.
"Don't be cute, sweetheart." Floch stood and unholstered a gun. Standing there in his black Survey Corps outfit, his ODM straps fitted to his body, he looked like some villain out of a matinee film. Floch aimed the gun at her head. "You Marleyans all think you're so fucking smart."
"I'm not Marleyan." Her heart beat faster. "I'm Eldian."
"Kinda hard to make sure." He thumbed the hammer back. Petra felt rage surge in her veins. She had not torn apart the reality of time itself to be killed by a worm like Floch Forster.
"I'm looking for my husband!" she shouted. It was the truth, and that registered. Floch hesitated. "When we were evacuated, I lost track of him. He has our daughter. I need to find them!"
The frustration lent a rough edge to her voice. Floch furrowed his brow.
"We don't kill fellow Paradisians," he said. He knelt before her again. "What's your husband's name?"
"Blomquist. Edvard Blomquist." She swallowed. "My daughter's Brigitta."
A weird mash up of Petra's actual life, but they were the first names that sprang to mind.
"When did you lose them?" Floch sounded reasonable, but he looked at her with the eyes of a snake. She was still on trial, and had to make her case.
"Not too long after the Rumbling started."
"You support the Rumbling, don't you?" A fanatic light kindled in Floch's eyes. Yes, he was the ultimate follower. In her time, it had been Erwin. Now it was Eren.
To Petra, nothing in this world could be more evil than the idea of systematically stomping entire civilizations to death. But she had to be released.
"Of course," she whispered. "Those devils kept us caged on this island for generations. I want their heads!"
She shouted that last bit. Floch appeared more subdued. He stood and put his gun away.
"Maybe you're telling the truth," he said. He narrowed his eyes. "You probably are. But right now, enemies are all around. My men will take you down to the cell block."
"No!" she cried. Shit, Petra needed to continue her search. She couldn't waste time!
"I'll have a few of my guys look for your husband and daughter. Right now, though, I need to make a little…presentation." Floch gave a cruel smile. His eyes glittered with malice. "After it's all done, I'll come down and maybe we can talk some more."
From the way he leered at her, Petra got the feeling he might want more than talk. He might tell her that she could walk out of the cell if she paid a certain price.
"Bastard," she hissed, unthinking. Floch's expression soured.
"Take her away," he snapped. Petra struggled, but was still too weak. As the soldiers pulled her from the room, she saw another troop leading a black-suited pair towards the Commander's office.
Shit. It was Yelena and Onyankopon. They both looked miserable. Petra almost shouted for them, until she remembered that in this timeline they had never met. In fact, the one thing currently saving her was that none of these soldiers had ever known her or seen her face.
Before they pulled her down the stairs, Petra felt the hairs on her nape bristle. It felt like someone was watching her. She looked up, but found no one else there. The soldiers strongarmed her down the stairs and into the dungeon. She gritted her teeth when they unlocked a cell and shoved her inside.
"Be nice, and we'll let you out later." One of them winked at her. Petra made an obscene gesture, which only made him laugh. The soldiers walked away, their chatter echoing. The heavy prison door closed, and Petra was alone.
"Fuck. Fuck," she hissed, pulling the watch from her pocket again. Almost an hour had passed; twenty-three to go. Who knew how many of them she was going to waste sitting in this stupid fucking cell? Every second that slipped away was another step towards a world where she would never see Levi ever again. Petra paced back and forth, attempting to kick the door down a couple of times. No luck. The locks on these cells were obviously stronger than the lock on a simple door. She screamed in frustration and crouched on the floor, hands pressed to the sides of her head.
Who knew if her children were safe? God, hadn't Historia said that time moved differently in the separate worlds? What if every second she spent here was a decade for them? What if they were already dead and buried? Her entire body shivered.
She had to stay focused. If she wanted her family whole again, she had to be strong.
For twenty minutes, she cursed, kicked, shouted, and got nowhere. Petra leaned against the wall, unable to tear her eyes from the watch. Time was running out. Levi…
She started when the prison door yawned open. Petra clutched at the bars. Maybe it was Floch. Damn it, if it meant saving Levi she might even let the little weasel do whatever he wanted with her…
"Who is it?" she croaked. A figure stepped into view.
Petra's jaw dropped. She wasn't the only one in a state of shock.
"It can't be you." Keith Shadis stared like he'd seen a ghost. Well, he actually had. "Can it?"
Petra hadn't seen him in a while, but he never seemed to change. He still had those small, hollow eyes. That patch of beard. He was bald in this timeline, too, though he also looked excessively bruised. Someone had beaten the shit out of him, and recently. Petra was dumbstruck for a minute.
"Instructor Shadis," she breathed.
"When I saw you out there, I couldn't believe it. For a moment I didn't." He stepped nearer. "But it's got to be a trick. You're older than she ever was."
"Yes. Petra Ral died when she was twenty-one."
"How the fuck is this possible?"
"Sir. I don't have time to explain everything," she said. "But here are the basic facts: I'm not a ghost. I am Petra Ral. I've come here from a different timeline, one where I didn't die in the titan forest."
"What the fuck?"
"Please, listen! I'm only here for twenty-four hours. No. Twenty-two." She held up the watch, panic freezing her blood. "There's someone from my timeline who's stuck here. I need to find him. If I don't before the time runs out, I'll lose him forever." Shadis looked increasingly concerned. She pushed ahead. "I can prove who I am. You came to the southern training grounds after giving up your command post in the Survey Corps. I was in the same class as Oruo Bossad and Nifa Weber. I placed fifth in my entire class, but chose the Survey Corps over the Military Police." Her heart beat faster. "The day I made that choice, you came up to me afterwards. You said—"
"No," he murmured.
"You said 'you're an idiot, Ral, but I'm proud of you. Well, maybe Erwin can keep you alive. I hope he does.'"
Shadis wove his fingers behind his head. He stared at the floor, trying to wrap his mind around this.
"How…?"
"I don't have time to tell you the whole story. There's a good chance that when I leave, you'll forget I was ever here. Please trust that I am who I say I am. I need you to help me find Levi." Her voice broke.
"Levi?" He looked up at her. "Ackerman."
"He's my husband." A tear streaked down her face. She wiped it away. "He's the father of my children. We literally gave up our timeline and reality to go back to this one."
"Where Eren destroys the world?" Shadis had fire in his eyes.
"In my world, everything was fully destroyed." She felt miserable just saying it. "At least in this one, there's a future. The Alliance saves what they can. This is the best of all possible choices."
"What a sad fucking universe," Shadis muttered.
I sent another you to a whole different universe. Hopefully you'll be happy there.
But saying that would have only confused him further.
"The Alliance," Shadis said. He frowned. "With Annie Leonhardt?"
Lightning rippled through her body. Yes, Eren had mentioned that Reiner and Annie teamed up with the Alliance to save the world. Even if it was true that Annie Leonhardt became a better person—even if it was true she'd had a torturous upbringing—Petra could never forgive what she'd done to Oruo and the others.
Or, in this world, what Annie had done to her.
But it didn't matter. It couldn't matter.
"Yes. Have you seen them?" Her heart beat faster.
"I just saw them pulling out of here in wagons. Annie was with them."
"They're heading out to save the world." Her mind spun. If Annie and Mikasa and the others had just left, that meant Levi was still on Paradis. He probably would be until at least tomorrow morning. She had time. "And I know where they're going."
"You do?"
"The southern port. Tomorrow they're going to steal a boat and head to Ohida. But Floch and the Jaegerists will already be there, waiting for them."
"How the fuck do you know this?"
"Please. I don't have time to explain." Her voice broke. "Just trust me."
"After this week, I don't trust anyone." Shadis's eyes were even more sunken than they had been before. He looked haunted. Enraged. Tired.
She considered the bruises he wore.
"Levi gave up everything to save this world," she whispered. Her voice trembled. "He gave up me and his children, and all of his memories. He always sacrifices for others. Please. Help me save him. He deserves to be with his family."
Shadis looked her in the eyes. He drew nearer.
"The Cart Titan just ate Jean and some of those volunteers. Floch's out of his mind about it. The place is in an uproar."
The pieces were moving. The game was being played to its bitter end.
"Then this might be the perfect time to slip out." She extended her hand through the bars. "Sir. Please help me."
"The southern port." He mulled it over, then unholstered a gun at his side. Petra shied back. "Cover your ears." He aimed at the lock, and fired. Petra winced, but the cell door swung open easily. She stepped out. "Now. Follow me, and do whatever I tell you."
It was like being back at the training grounds. Standing alongside Oruo as Shadis chewed him out. Laughing with Nifa in the mess hall.
It was a little like home.
"Yes, sir," Petra said.
Shadis was right; the chaos allowed them to slip away pretty easily. He found them a couple of horses, and they galloped out of Shiganshina. Normally it would be a straight shot down to the southern port, but Jaegerist factions were still on the prowl. They had to take several detours, winding through towns and forests. It had been afternoon by the time Petra was released, so as the evening came on they had to stop.
She wanted to keep going, but traveling in the dark was an invitation to danger.
"There." Shadis pointed up the road to a few flickering lights. "We can probably get a hot meal and a place to stay."
"Do you think they're Jaegerists?" Petra asked. Shadis took off his military jacket and shoved it into the horse's saddlebag.
"If anyone asks, we're trying to get back to our village down south. Don't be too happy about the Rumbling, but don't condemn it, either. Take a cue from them on how to behave."
She nodded. It was so incredibly strange to be riding alongside her old instructor, strategizing together. Levi had told her about Shadis's life. His frustrated love for Carla Jaeger; his frustrated desires to be a great man. His feelings of worthlessness. She looked on the man with compassion. One of the saddest existences had to be someone who never achieved any of their goals. A life of frustration was a tragic one.
"Thank you for helping me."
"Eh. The Jaegerists knocked the shit out of me," Shadis grumbled. "They'll kill me if they find me. Honestly, traveling without me might be safer for you."
"No." She knew that Shadis believed himself to be incompetent. "I trust you, sir."
She could have sworn she caught the hint of a pleased smile. Then he resumed his customary scowl and told her to keep her eyes on the road.
They rode in to the village as the sun had fully set. Really, it was barely a village; there were a few houses lining the streets, a few closed shops, and nothing else for as far as the eye could see.
"Smaller communities have been sprouting up now that we've got Wall Maria back," Shadis murmured. They hitched their horses to a post, trying to avoid people's stares. No one else was out in the street, but many peered at them through windows. It felt like being on display at a zoo. "It doesn't surprise me everything's closed. The Rumbling's got most people scared."
"Not as scared as those people across the sea," Petra murmured. Had the titans made landfall yet? The earth had stopped rumbling a little while ago. They were all off the island now. All Petra knew was that most of the world's population would die in forty-eight hours. It was preferable to the hundred percent mortality rate of her own timeline, but it still sickened her.
She had to believe that there was another world out there without titans. One where people could live free and easy. Or at least easier.
"I think we might need to set up camp in the woods," Petra murmured. No one was coming outside to speak with them, but everyone was keeping watch on their movements. "I don't like how jumpy they are."
"You may be right."
"Hello?"
A woman opened the door to her house and stepped onto the porch. She wrapped a shawl about her against the night chill.
"Hi," Petra said cautiously.
"Would you both like to come inside? I've got soup going and, well, my husband's up in Trost right now. I hate to eat alone."
Petra froze. Her body began to shake as she recognized that voice.
"Something wrong?" Shadis said.
"It's…my sister."
Brigitta smiled on that porch. She was younger than the last time Petra had seen her, still in her early twenties. She was as fresh-faced and sweet as Petra remembered from their youth.
It would be best to go. But Petra knew that, as a titan, she had eaten her sister. In the old timeline, they had never reconciled. It was bitter to the end.
She couldn't bear it. If that was the last time…
"Are you both all right?" Brigitta stepped off the porch.
"Thank you, ma'am. I think we'll be moving on. We don't want to abuse your hospitality," Shadis said gruffly.
"Please. It gets cold here at night. At least sit by the fire for a few minutes."
Petra turned to mount her horse. Her heart was shattering, but she had to get out of here. She'd come too far to get caught now. She—
"Hey."
Petra felt Brigitta's hand on her arm. Petra tried to keep her face turned away, but she heard Brigitta gasp. She knew.
"What?" her sister whispered. In the dim street lighting, Brigitta had gone utterly blank with fear. "How…?"
Her eyes filled with tears.
"I'll explain," Petra murmured. "But don't scream. Gitta." She licked her lips. "Please."
"You're dead. You're…" Brigitta's face began to crumple.
"I'll explain. Please." Petra gripped her hands. "It's me, Gitta. It's me."
Brigitta whimpered, but she kept her head. She hurried back into her house, Petra and Shadis following.
Brigitta's house was warm and snug. It was a single room with a large bed, a chest of drawers, a table and chairs, a stove, and a hearth. Cozy and domestic; the very qualities Brigitta most loved. Petra's sister staggered over to the fire, fumbling for a poker. She turned then, brandishing it like a weapon.
"What's going on?" she rasped as Petra shut the door. "How are you…?" She began to hyperventilate. "Y-You're dead! You're dead, you're dead, you're—"
Petra crossed the room and grabbed her sister tight. Brigitta dropped the poker and clutched Petra back, sobbing hysterically. Petra cried as well, while Shadis kept uncomfortable watch by the window.
"Both of you keep it down," he murmured. But he sounded somewhat gentle.
Brigitta slumped to the floor, and Petra held and rocked her. The sisters cried themselves out. When they'd both finally calmed, Brigitta wiped her cheeks and held Petra's face in her hands.
"But I don't understand. You're older. I mean, older than you'd be now if you'd lived. How?"
"I'm going to explain." Petra held Brigitta's hands. "Please just listen until the end."
She told the story as quickly as she could. Petra avoided as much of alternate Brigitta's sad fate as possible. Her sister became really confused when they got to the PATHS and alternate timelines, which was fair. Petra barely understood it herself. But her sister was more receptive than Petra had imagined.
"PATHS. Yes." Brigitta sniffed. "Eren Jaeger pulled all of us into the PATHS yesterday to tell us about the Rumbling."
"Right. And that's why I'm heading to the southern port. I only have so long that I can be in this timeline. Then I have to go back."
"No, no. You can't leave me again." Brigitta burst into ugly tears. Petra held her tight.
"You'll forget me when I go. Everything will go back to the way it was," she whispered. Petra wasn't totally sure of that, but she needed to comfort Brigitta. After her sister calmed, she asked, "What about Mama and Papa? And Willem?"
The soup had bubbled by then, so Brigitta got bowls and spoons and served them. Shadis ate at the table while the sisters sat before the fire and talked.
"Papa's gone," Brigitta said. "Two years after you…" She shut her eyes. "He just couldn't take it anymore. He died in his sleep."
"And Mama?"
"She lives with Willem and his wife in Calaneth. They have a baby on the way."
Baby. Petra looked around the room. There was no sign of a child anywhere.
"Edvard and I've given up." Brigitta sighed. "We're thinking of adopting. There are plenty of children who need a home."
Petra startled. "That's…"
"What? Different to how I was in the other world?" Brigitta frowned. "What happened to me there?"
"You fought to find a way to conceive naturally," Petra said, very careful. "You were pretty desperate about it."
"I was desperate for a while. But I managed. I guess after you died, I realized that life isn't fair. I didn't take it personally." Brigitta studied the bowl of soup in her hands. "God, this is so insane. How am I talking with you? How?"
"You know how," Petra said gently.
"Yeah." Brigitta wiped her eyes. "Anyway. You died on that mission and I realized that bad things happen all the time. No one gets everything they want. It hurts, not having a baby, but lots of people hurt. What makes me any different?"
A chill walked down Petra's spine. She realized then that the faerie tale of her life—the career she wanted, the man she wanted, the perfect love and the perfect family—had helped drive Brigitta insane. It wasn't Petra's fault, but it was one thing to understand that life was unfair. It was another thing to watch someone get everything while you were left with only crumbs.
"Did I have a baby? In this other timeline?"
"Yes. You did."
Brigitta's face lit up. Petra didn't tell her the rest. It wouldn't have been kind. Just like she wouldn't tell Brigitta that she was the reason Petra had become the Founder in the first place. That she had betrayed Petra.
"Gitta. I missed you so much." Her chin quivered.
"I missed you, too." Brigitta hugged her again. "I wish I'd told you that one more time."
The last they had spoken had been just before midwinter of that year, when Petra had gone home for a visit. She'd agreed to be in Brigitta's wedding come May. She hadn't survived to see it.
"I had no regrets." Petra sniffed. "In this life or the other one."
"I just wish Mama could see you."
"Me, too." She kissed Brigitta's cheek. Her heart fractured to see the love in her sister's eyes. "Gitta…I'm so sorry."
"Hmm? About what?" She frowned.
"I'm sorry I left you with so much responsibility at home. I'm sorry I joined the military. I'm sorry I got killed and you lost Papa. I…I just want you to know that I love you and I'm sorry. For everything."
She wept then, and Brigitta rocked her back and forth a bit. Petra smelled soap and fresh grass, clean air and country living. That was Brigitta at her best. She was just fine without her older sister.
Brigitta had gone mad because of Petra. That realization killed her.
"Did something bad happen between us?" Brigitta asked softly. "In that other life?"
Petra shivered, unsure of what to say or how to say it.
"I'm just really sorry," she said at last.
"Me, too. For whatever happened between us." Brigitta kissed her cheek.
Shadis had been staring into his bowl the whole time, studiously ignoring the two women.
Petra told Brigitta where she and Shadis were headed and why. Brigitta nodded along as Petra spoke.
"I don't know how everyone else feels, but I hate it. The Rumbling," she said, getting Shadis another bowl of soup.
"I'm just here to get my husband," Petra said, "but I wish I could do something about it."
"I've seen some people cheering. Yesterday several of the men got drunk and rode around and around in the fields, cheering Eren Jaeger. They beat up Mr. Muller when he told them they were supporting a monster." She curled her lip in disgust. "This is really the better reality?"
"At least in this one, there'll be a world left at the end." Petra sighed.
Shadis just ate in silence.
They put out the lights soon after and took turns guarding the door. Brigitta and Petra curled up on top of the bed while Shadis took first watch. It was like when they were little and Brigitta would crawl into Petra's bed for storytime.
"I wish you didn't have to go," Brigitta whispered.
"Me, too. But my kids are waiting." Please, let them be waiting. "Don't worry. It'll be like this whole evening never happened. You won't remember this conversation."
"But I don't want that." Brigitta's voice broke. "I want my sister back."
Petra bit back a sob and hugged Brigitta. In this reality, Petra was dead and would never return. Brigitta had to move forward with her life.
"I know there's something out there after we die," she whispered. "Maybe even beyond PATHS. You'll find Petra agian there someday." Brigitta and this world's Petra, that is. God, the whole thing hurt her brain to think about.
"But not you."
"I'm your sister, but I'm not. I'm a different version of her." Petra's throat hurt. "We were never supposed to meet. But I promise everything will be right in the end."
Brigitta was silent in the moonlight. Petra could see the shine of tears on her cheek.
"Can I ask for something stupid?"
"Anything."
"Do you remember that fish song from when we were little?"
Petra's mouth quirked in a smile. "Yeah."
"Sing it. I know it's dumb—"
"It's not." She held Brigitta's hand and sang. "There was a young girl, and she had but one wish, to marry a man with the tail of a fish. She went to the riverbank to find such a groom crying 'come home to me, my love, swim to me soon.'
Brigitta smiled at the silly lyrics. She hummed along with the chorus, and by the time Petra had finished Brigitta's eyes had fluttered shut. Just like they were little girls again. When Brigitta was fast asleep, Petra lay on her back and stared at the darkened ceiling. Her stomach roiled.
"It isn't fair," Shadis said. First he'd spoken in a long while. "None of it."
"What?"
"The two of you should never have been separated."
"It was my choice to join the military."
"It was Marley. It was the Fritz king who took our memories." He sounded grim. "They made the world this way."
Yes, and left everyone else to suffer.
Petra dreamed of Levi, of having a picnic on the riverbank with him and Brigitta. Edvard swam over to them and flopped on the ground; he had a fish tail. The women laughed and laughed, and then Shadis woke her for watch duty.
She stared out into the blackness of the early morning and thought of Levi. She checked her watch in the dim moonlight. Her time was more than halfway gone.
Her heart pounded. She heard the blood in her ears.
For him, she risked reality itself tearing apart. She risked her children. She risked her life and existence itself.
For him, she'd risk it all again. Mournfully, she gazed at her sister asleep.
For Levi Ackerman, I'd break your heart all over again.
What kind of person did that make her?
When the sky began to grow gray, it was time to leave. Petra nudged Shadis awake. They got their stuff together quietly. Before heading out, she looked back at Brigitta one last time.
Petra stood over her sister. Brigitta had a peaceful smile as she slept. She looked healthy. Contented.
Everything she hadn't been before.
Did I make you that sick?
If Petra saw Brigitta again, her Brigitta in the next world, she would make it better. Heart heavy, she kissed her sister's cheek.
"I love you forever," she whispered. "And I don't blame you at all."
With that, she hurried out the door and didn't speak another word until she and Shadis were a mile outside of town. The man didn't try to force conversation. It was one of the things she most liked about him.
"Is that the place?" Shadis asked.
They were a few hundred yards outside of the port. Petra scanned the hills around them, looking for any sign of the Alliance. Her heart hammered. She had only a couple of hours left. At least the boat was still there, so Levi hadn't left yet, but she'd had no idea it would come down to this. So close to the finish line. To an eternity with or without him.
"Yeah," she said quietly. "The Alliance should be here soon."
Maybe she could try sneaking aboard the ship right now. Petra strained her eyes trying to see what was happening at the buildings up ahead.
"That rail," Shadis said. Yes, the railway was directly in front of them. "Think they'll be coming down by train?"
"No. Eren said they try to sneak in. I don't think it works out well."
Shadis grunted. He didn't like to get into the nitty gritty of two Eren Jaegers and the multiple dimensions. It confused him. Confused Petra, too.
"Then the Jaegerists could have reinforcements coming down at any time? Or more supplies," Shadis said.
"Yes. I suppose they could."
The man grunted. "Stay here, Ral."
He hurried away, keeping low to the ground as he went. Petra and the instructor had never been close, but he'd liked her well enough when she was a trainee. Their relationship now was still terse and somewhat formal, but it was funny to think of the odd couple they made on the road. The way he'd let her have some time with Brigitta, and the genuine sympathy and sorrow he felt on their behalf. Shadis was and had always been a good man.
She hoped he knew that.
Suddenly, there was a blinding flash of orange lightning just outside of the military headquarters. She flinched as a second flash went off as well. Then she saw them, the two titans. The Female and the Armored were rampaging around, trying to fight off the Jaegerists.
Levi. She began to run straight in the direction of the explosions. He was there. Her husband was there.
She had to get to him.
"Ral!"
Shadis blocked her path and forced her down. In the background, they heard the rat-a-tat of gunfire. Screams. The titans roaring.
"He's here. Levi's here! I have to get to him!"
"I know. Here." Shadis handed over a handgun. "You know how to use this model?"
"Yes." She blinked at him, and saw that he was carrying another gun. And… "Is that…dynamite?"
"Relieved a few of our friends back there," Shadis growled. He studied the railroad tracks. "I'll find a place to lay them in case they try bringing more Jaegerists to the party." He glared at her. "Go. Find Levi."
This would be the last she saw of him. He'd probably forget her in the next hour or so, but she would always remember.
"If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have made it. Thank you, sir," she whispered. "You're a hero."
Shadis scowled deeper, but she saw the way his face reddened slightly.
"Get out of here. Go!" he snapped.
Petra went. She had to keep dodging behind rocks as more gunfire shattered the air. She saw the flash of thunder spears going off. Shit. The Jaegerists were fighting back hard against Annie and Reiner.
What a world. She was praying for Annie Leonhardt's success. Petra hated that a little.
Her heart pounded louder and louder as she headed for the buildings. She had to make it. Please, don't let the ship leave without her.
Petra jumped in the air when a large explosion went off behind her.
The tracks had been obliterated, and a steam engine was lying on its side. Probably a train carrying supplies or reinforcements. Shadis had done his duty.
Petra could make out people flying through the air on ODM, taking shots at one another. God, was that Mikasa? Jean? Petra fought the urge to run sceaming for them.
In this world, she was dead and they had barely met her before.
A third titan flash went off to the right. More screams.
A third titan?
Right. Falco. Eren had told her.
Petra reached the buildings and hugged a wall, holding up her gun and trying to figure out a way forward.
She held her breath as a Jaegerist landed just ahead of her. He had his back to Petra, and was looking for the Alliance.
She sneered, aimed her gun, and blew his brains out.
She felt dead inside as the bastard hit the ground. There was nothing left in her to feel pity. These bastards supported genocide, the annihilation of anyone who wasn't them. She felt only contempt.
Petra rushed over and unstrapped the ODM from the man's corpse. She kept low to the ground, wincing as more explosions and roars sounded behind her. Once Petra was strapped in, she peered around the corner.
The dock was straight ahead, as was the ship. As she watched, a red-haired Jaegerist flew into the air, aiming a thunder spear at the boat.
Floch. Petra snarled.
She almost cheered when the piece of shit got blown out of the sky and fell into the ocean. Whoever had shot him deserved a reward.
I have to go now.
Smoke billowed out of the ship's stack. They were leaving. She saw Alliance members rushing up the plank. Petra shot her hooks and took off, but had to make a hard detour when two Jaegerists opened fire on her. They were shooting anything that wasn't them at this point. Petra remained on her knees behind some rubble, waiting for them to get into range.
The moment they appeared, she killed them both. She wondered if this was how Levi felt when he killed. Apathetic. Irritated.
No. He felt everything. Petra was the one who didn't give a shit anymore.
She cried out when the boat began to pull away from the dock. Fuck!
If Petra sped out into the open right now, they might kill her. But if she let that boat leave, she might as well be dead.
Screaming, Petra shot her hooks. She ricocheted from building to building, zig zagging so no one could get a clear shot of her. Remembering the sharpshooter who took down Floch, Petra kept low as she hit the dock and ran. Bullets narrowly missed her.
With a final great cry, she shot her hooks as far as they could go.
Please. Please.
They were not going to reach the boat. They—
She almost sobbed with relief when she felt the hooks latch on to the ship's side. Petra pulled herself in, her feet skating atop the ocean. It was almost thrilling. Until, of course, she lost her balance and fell into the water. The ODM hauled her up like a fish. Petra hung from the side of the ship, swinging as she readied her next move. Using the ODM, she climbed up and up to the railing, then leapt over it and onto the deck.
"Don't shoot! Please!" she shouted preemptively. Petra kept her hands over her head, and bent low to the floor. Whoever was here might want to shoot first and ask questions never. "I'm not a Jaegerist!"
"What the fuck is this?" someone snapped. It sounded like a woman.
Yelena.
Petra looked up as the enormous woman glared down at her. Yelena had her arm in a sling, and appeared the worse for wear. Onyankopon stepped in front of her.
"Put down the gun," he said. Petra obeyed immediately.
"Please," she croaked. "I need to—"
"Quiet." Jean walked over to her, looking down the barrel of a gun. His eyes were strained and haunted. He must have killed many of his old comrades. Friends. Petra shivered. "Who the hell are you?"
He couldn't hide his surprise, though. After all, she was dressed in civilian clothes, soaking wet, and wearing ODM.
"I'm P-Petra Ral," she whispered. "I used to be on Squad Levi. Four years ago."
"Survey Corps?" Jean relaxed his arm, but looked even more confused. "I've never met you before. And…" He frowned. "If you were the original Squad Levi…they were all wiped out in the titan forest."
"Yes. Oruo. Eld. Gunther. I died, too." She cursed herself. Petra pulled the watch from her pocket. Thankfully, the water hadn't broken it. Fuck, there were literal minutes left. "I know this sounds crazy, but I'm telling the truth! I'm from another timeline. Another PATH," she said quickly. They knew about PATHS at this point.
Jean looked only more confused.
"Out of the way." A woman moved past Jean. The gangly creature stopped directly before Petra and stood with her hands on her hips, a quizzical expression in her one eye.
"Hange!" Petra cried.
It was absolutely her, much younger than she had been. Petra's friend stopped moving. She stared in total shock. Thank god; Hange recognized her.
"What the…?"
"It's me. I'm real. You know me!" she sobbed.
"Everyone put your guns down. Now!" Hange snapped. Jean obeyed, and Yelena sulked. Hange came over and knelt before Petra. She studied her like Petra was some fascinating piece of titan anatomy. "This is impossible. How…?"
"I don't have time to explain. I have ten minutes! Please!" She had to get her breath. She had to do this now, or it would be too late. "I'm from a different timeline. Another PATH. I need to see Levi."
"You need to see Levi." Hange looked ready to fall over. The wheels turned in her head, the effort visible as she tried to understand.
"Levi's my husband in this other timeline." Petra gasped for breath. Please, she was so close. "It's too hard to explain. If I can't see him, and…that is…"
What the fuck was the plan, anyway? Bring him with her? Could she even do that?
This wasn't the time. She had to act.
"What?" Hange said.
"Basically, my Levi is inside of your Levi. I think. I…I'm the Founder. I came here with this!" She waved the watch in Hange's face. Every minute that passed, the woman appeared more confused. And wary. "I know it makes no sense, but I need your help!" Petra screamed. She had to convince the Commander. "You… Moblit pushed you into a well back in Shiganshina. It's where you lost your eye. It's how you survived!"
Hange paled. "How could you know that?"
"Because it happened that way in my timeline! Ugh, this is so hard. The world shifted in my timeline because Levi and I fell in love. I survived the titan forest, I got pregnant, he chose Erwin in Shiganshina instead of Armin. But that decision led to the world ending, so we had to go to PATHS and restore this timeline." She spoke faster and faster. "But my Levi is trapped in this world, and if I don't get to him I'll never see him again. I have eight minutes! Then I'm leaving this timeline and going back…to…" She couldn't wrap her head around that right now. "Hange, I'm begging you. For everything we went through together. It's me. Petra! I need you to trust me right now!" She fought against frenzied tears. "My children will never see their father again if I can't do this! Please!"
Petra breathed heavily while Hange just stared at her face. Seconds crawled by. There was no fucking time—
"Come with me." Hange stood and helped Petra to her feet.
"You believe me?" She gasped.
"I don't know. But these past twenty-four hours, I've seen things I never would've believed possible." She gave a strange smile. "And I can imagine almost anything."
"Like the titan masher in Trost. The one you used to clear the titans out of Wall Maria."
Hange looked taken aback. But this time, there was a spark of recognition in her eye.
"Come on. Hurry."
Five minutes left. Petra raced down the hall, guided by Hange.
"I'm going to stay with you," Hange warned. "Sorry, but I'm a little low on trust at the moment."
"It's fine." Petra almost screamed with impatience, relieved when Hange finally opened a door and gestured her in.
Petra entered and saw him lying on a cot.
He was bandaged and asleep. But she saw his chest rise and fall. He was alive.
"Levi!"
She ran to his side and sat next to him on the bed.
"He's still very weak." Hange looked uncertain as Petra kissed the man's bandaged forehead, smoothed what hair she could find.
"Wake up. My love, wake up." Petra kissed his cheek over and over. God, she could feel how frail he was under her hands.
He wouldn't wake up. Fuck.
"Levi, wake up. Look at me!" Petra dug her fingers into his shoulders. Panicked, she shook him.
"Hey!" Hange yanked Petra back roughly. "Don't you touch him like that! He's in bad shape!"
"Hmmmf?" Levi muttered. The women froze.
"Baby?" Petra fell to his side again. She kissed his face, his bandages. "Wake up. It's Petra."
"Hmmmf."
His one eye opened. Petra beamed at the sight of his blue-gray iris, and kissed his bandaged mouth. She imagined her lips touched his.
"Sweetheart, it's me. It's Petra."
"Hmmf."
She froze. The way he was looking at her…wasn't Levi.
Her Levi was gruff but tender. She hadn't noticed the change in the years they'd been together, but now she realized how much she'd altered him. The man she'd known gave infrequent but real smiles. His eyes twinkled when he beheld her.
This man looked at her with dull anger. Apathy. There was nothing of tenderness or love in him now.
Without her and Erwin, Levi had become an empty shell of his former self.
Petra burst into tears at the sight, which made him wince.
"Baby. It's me. Please, recognize me." She took his bandaged hand and kissed it. God, she could feel where he had fingers missing. "I know you're still in there. I know you can hear me. Please." She stroked his cheek. "I know you remember Kuchel. Your daughter. And Oruo, your son. You remember our apartment in Valle. You remember taking me to the roof of the Amalfia hotel for my thirtieth birthday. You remember our wedding day in the chapel in Trost. I was wearing a crown of yellow roses. You were dressed in your uniform. Hange was your best man." She sniffed, grinned. "She wore a matching cravat, which pissed you off."
Beside her, Hange made a noise. Petra saw a wondering expression on the woman's face. Yes. She believed. Even if she didn't understand, Hange believed. It spurred Petra on.
Levi just looked at her with those flat, affectless eyes. Did he even know who she was? Had the explosion knocked everything from his memory?
Petra wept. Two of her tears dropped onto his bandaged face.
Less than one minute left.
She didn't know what else to do. She couldn't physically take him with her, she saw that now. Her Levi was truly fused with this one.
She had to attach a hook. And reel him in.
"Listen to me." She cradled his face in her hands. "There is a path out there waiting for you. It's waiting to bring you home to me, and to Kuchel and Oruo. Whenever you're finished here," she said, now sobbing, "you find that path and you follow it home. I'll wait forever, Levi Ackerman." She pressed her face to his, kissed every inch of his cheeks and forehead. "If I have to wait two lifetimes to find you again, I will. Just remember me. Remember who you are. If you forget, you'll be gone forever. Please."
He grunted again. But she felt him studying her face. Then she watched as his eye widened slightly.
The icy expression fled. And she felt him looking back at her. He was still there.
He had not disappeared.
"Come home to me when you can, Levi." She kissed his bandaged mouth again. They gazed into each other's eyes. "Don't forget. Even if PATHS disappears, I'll keep one waiting for you. Think of it like an ODM cable." She shrugged, helpless. Hopeful. "I'll pull you back home."
"Pet…ra," he whispered. She could hear it, then. It was his voice. Not just Levi's voice, but her husband's.
"Levi." She gazed at him in adoration. "I love you."
He sat up, felt dizzy, and laid back down again. Levi blinked a few times, rubbed his forehead. He felt drugged up.
"Hmmf?" he muttered.
"You okay?" Hange stood over him, looking her usual cheerful ass self. "Good news. We got away from the Jaegerists. We're headed to Ohida now." She looked a bit sad. "Though Magath sacrificed himself to let us get away."
"Mmm." Levi blinked, glanced around the room. "Was someone else here?"
"Who?" Hange looked puzzled.
"I thought…she…"
He blinked. Kuchel. Oruo. Petra.
He sighed. A dream. A dream of a different life. One where the Rumbling didn't exist.
Petra Ral was long since dead, and the dead didn't come back.
"I think you need more rest." Hange pulled the blanket up to his chin. Tch. Damn nursemaid.
"Just a dream," he croaked.
Hange went to check up on Armin. Poor kid was healing a gunshot to the face. That'd put anyone out of commission.
Levi closed his eyes. Well. Eye.
There will be a path…
He woke again and frowned. Just a dream. A stupid dream.
So why the fuck was he crying?