* ~ The Eighth Year Universe Series ~ *
PART FOUR
Brave New World
Chapter 53: The Weight of Worlds
"I don't know how much longer I can do this for."
Clara looked up in alarm, "You had better not be thinking of dropping out, Lillian Moon. You are the best trauma healer I've seen come into this place in years."
Lilly sighed and put her quill down, "From the minute I was accepted into this place, I felt like I had to choose between what I wanted to do with my life and Neville, and we're trying to make it work, but I still feel like that Clara."
"Doesn't he understand that what you are doing here is important?"
"Of course he does," Lilly replied, "But it goes beyond that, Clara. It's not just Neville; it's all of them, all of my friends. They are all back there, and I just feel so useless. Sadie is going through some hard stuff right now, which you'll find out about in due course-"
"She's not officially told us yet, but Sorenson and I know she's pregnant," Clara cut in, "I'm a Healer, and she doesn't half make it obvious."
Lilly smiled slightly, "Yeah, she's not doing very well, and I'm no use while I'm on the wrong side of the channel. I mean…do you know that I snuck out the other night?"
"You do realise that while you're here, I'm responsible for all of you?" Clara asked with an amused smile, "So that means, the minute you leave your room after lights out, I find out about it."
"Why didn't you say anything then?"
"Because I'm not an arsehole," Clara replied, "You gonna tell me why you snuck out?"
"Because my best friend needed me," Lilly said honestly, "I'd never had a best friend before Daphne. I just sort of hung around with whoever was there at school but now I'm going to be someone's maid of honour and the godmother to their kid."
Clara watched her with interest, and she continued, "Anyway, this has to stay private because although the Aurors are aware of it, it's not public knowledge."
"My lips are sealed," Clara promised.
"Daphne's fiancé, Harry has some issues stemming from the war, and he dealt with them by drinking for a while," Lilly explained, "He relapsed on Monday night because he saw something, misunderstood it and thought Daphne was cheating on him. So while Neville helped him deal with those issues, I had to be there for Daphne."
"I see," Clara said.
"And that's just it," Lilly said with a frown, "I'm there for them through floo or whatever, but I'm not really there for them, and it's hard."
"It is hard," Clara agreed, "I miss Sorenson all the time, and it's tough, but it's what we've got to do when we love our job. Now, this whole thing has me thinking about an idea I've had, but it involves a test."
"A test?"
"First thing tomorrow morning," Clara said as she got to her feet.
"Are you going to tell me what it is so that I can prepare for it?" Lilly asked.
Clara shook her head and shot her an amused smile, "Trust me, it's not the kind of test you can prepare for," she said as she cryptically swept out of the door.
"Hey babe, I'm home, but I'm heading straight out again!"
"Where to?" Daphne asked with a frown.
"I just need to go round to Sadie's for a bit."
"Sadie's?"
"Yeah, there's something I need to talk to her about," Harry said. He kicked off his work shoes and put his trainers on, then hung up his robes and grabbed a hoodie, "I'll not be long, I'll be home before it's time to put Ted to bed."
"Okay," Daphne said. It wasn't often that she was the bemused one in their relationship.
Harry flew out of the door again, got to the gates and apparated to Grimmauld Place. He knocked on the door, and Deeley the house-elf answered it.
"Good evening Deeley," Harry said kindly, "Is it okay if I come in to talk to the mistress?"
"Yes, mister Harry," Deeley said, "She is being in the drawing-room."
Harry stepped into the house and thanked the elf. He made his way up to the drawing-room and smiled at Sadie when he walked in, "It's nice to see you out of bed."
"It's nice to be out of bed," Sadie laughed, "What brings you here?"
"I just wanted to talk to you about something," Harry said honestly, "Where's Theo?"
"Next door," Sadie answered, "I've been eating little and often to keep the sickness at bay, so he has his meals with those two most nights."
"Ah," Harry realised. He sat down in an armchair and asked, "Are you okay? You're not getting too lonely."
"I'm a little lonely, but mostly I'm bored," Sadie admitted with a shrug.
"Why don't you write a book?" Harry suggested.
"About what?"
"I don't know… the war maybe? Or someone who died in the war…" Harry mused, "The story of Severus Snape might be an interesting one to tell."
Sadie frowned, "Do you think people would read it?"
"I don't know," Harry shrugged, "Everyone calls him a romantic hero, don't they?"
"True…"
Harry leant back in his chair and said, "I had to have a psychological evaluation at work today."
"How did that go?" Sadie asked.
"Great," Harry replied dryly, "Recounting my tragic past was great fun. But Caroline, my Mental Health Healer, did give me a different perspective on the final battle."
"Okay," Sadie said. She cocked her head at him, "How did she do that?"
"With statistics," Harry admitted, "She told me about the four groups of people that the deaths were grouped into, students or returning students, Dumbledore's Army, the Order of the Phoenix and the Aurors. The group that lost the least people proportionally was the DA, which made me emotional but proud."
Sadie smiled sadly, "It would do."
"I didn't realise that the highest number of deaths were amongst the students. Over half of the fallen fifty were students," Harry added.
"Well, it makes sense. Some were killed while evacuating, and those were the defenceless ones," Sadie said quietly, "Others just weren't experienced enough to fight people as powerful as the Death Eaters."
Harry nodded, "I hadn't realised how many died when the tower collapsed."
Sadie nodded and looked out of the window, "Addair, Isla: 11 years old, Muggleborn. Edwards, Orrin: 13 years old, Half-blood. Fawley, Tristan: 14 years old, Pureblood. Fletcher, Wilfred: 16 years old, Half-blood. Jones, Delilah: 11 years old, Pureblood. Mills, Madeleine: 15 years old, Muggle-born. Roberts, Dominic: 13 years old, Half-blood. Shafiq, Kiera: 12 years old, Pureblood. Wright, Naomi: 12 years old, Muggle-born."
Harry stared at her in surprise.
Sadie looked away from the window, and he saw the cold look in her eyes, "All Ravenclaws, all killed while evacuating. Then there was Auror Edward Lamb, granted the medal of honour posthumously for saving eleven students in the aftermath of the collapse. He bled to death when they freed him and realised the extent of his injuries. His wife was four months pregnant."
Harry swallowed a lump in his throat and crossed the room. He sat down next to Sadie and drew her into a hug.
"You've memorised the report," Harry said, his voice was choked.
"I think about it every single day," Sadie said quietly as she rested her head on Harry's shoulder, "I can still see every single one of their faces because the report has a picture next to each name. I think about what my father died in the name of love all of the time, Harry. Yes, he joined Voldemort to protect his family, but what if I had been in that tower when his invention blew it up?"
Her voice dripped with venom, "I was sad when he first went to Azkaban, but I'm not anymore. I don't know what I'll say to him when he gets out; I don't even know if I'll ever be able to look him in the eye again."
Harry squeezed her shoulder tightly.
"And every single day, I worry that fate will catch up to us," Sadie whispered, "I worry that one day my husband isn't going to come home to me or our children, and that will be my punishment for what my father did."
"No," A new voice said, which made Harry and Sadie both look up.
Draco and Theo had both appeared in the doorway, but it wasn't Theo who had spoken; it was Draco.
"No, I'll make sure that never happens," Draco promised Sadie, "I'll make sure that idiot comes home to you every night because yes, he's an idiot, but he's our idiot, and I won't let anything bad happen to him, I promise."
Theo smiled at that, "Beautiful sentiment and all Draco, but Potter, why are you cuddling my wife?"
Sadie laughed weakly, "We were just talking about the war, Theo."
"My meeting with Lamb got me thinking about a lot of things today," Harry confessed, "And one of those things involved the collapse of the central tower."
Theo's eyes darkened, "You shouldn't have talked to her about. She's pregnant, she-"
"-is not a china doll," Hermione said as she nudged past Draco into the drawing-room, "And she is perfectly capable of dealing with difficult situations. There's no need to treat her like she's going to break just because she's growing a baby."
"Thank you, Hermione," Sadie said with a smirk.
Hermione smiled and sat down on Sadie's other side, "You look good today."
"Much more colour in those cheeks," Theo agreed with a smile.
"I feel better," Sadie admitted, "Catch this. I even managed to walk to the library next door today without throwing up."
"What a day of groundbreaking landmarks, love," Theo teased.
Hermione laughed, "I brought a few more books over for you, and my mother is going to pop over with some more ginger tea for you tomorrow. She's in London for the day seeing my aunt, and she's horrified that I can't get away from work to meet her," she added with a roll of her eyes.
"I'll keep her entertained for half an hour," Sadie chuckled.
Harry smiled at the four of them and got to his feet, "It's in moments like this that I see it, you know?"
"See what?" Theo asked.
"We all take the piss and call you a foursome or a quad, or whatever," Harry said with a wave of his hand, "But the four of you together…it works, somehow."
"Don't ask me how it works," Hermione said, shooting him an amused look, "Because I can't explain it."
"I wouldn't ask you to," Harry said simply, "And you should never have to explain yourself to your family. I'm just glad that your happy, Hermione."
Draco raised an eyebrow, "This is touching."
"And out of character, what the hell did that Healer do to you today?" Theo asked.
"She just gave me a different perspective," Harry said. He looked at Sadie and smiled, "If you call Dumbledore's Army my army, I lost five people that day, but I saved thirty. Nine Ravenclaws died in the collapse of that tower, but 374 students survived. I've been so focused on the names, and the faces, on the stories, just like you, Sadie."
Sadie caught his eye.
"But sometimes we need to think about things with numbers; Theo's right about that. Sometimes, statistics are good because we can think about something logically without getting emotionally pulled in by the stories," Harry said, he smiled at Theo, "50 died in the battle of Hogwarts but do you know how many died in the Battle of Amiens, the last battle of the Great Muggle War?"
The three purebloods all shook their heads, but Hermione replied, "Almost 20,000, but far more people fought in that battle, Harry."
"I know, Mione," Harry said, "I've been talking to Charlus because he fought in that battle. But when you break it down, 1 in 4 men died in the Battle of Amiens. 1 in 10 ten in the Battle of Hogwarts. It took me a long time to see it this way, but it was a resounding success. We killed a dark lord, we disbanded his followers, and we had enough Aurors left to round most of them up. Those we lost will never be forgotten, but they didn't die in vain, and I can finally see that now."
Hermione smiled. She got to her feet and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I'm proud of you, Harry," she murmured, kissing him on the cheek and drawing back.
Harry smiled, "I had better get home. I promised Daph I'd be home in time to put Ted to bed. See you guys tomorrow," he said to Draco and Theo before sweeping out of the house.
Harry got home just in time to read Teddy a story, kiss him and put him down. He knew that he was going to get questioned by Daphne, but he didn't expect her to start only seconds after Teddy's bedroom door was shut.
"What is going on with you?"
"I've had an interesting day," Harry admitted, "And a tough one."
Daphne frowned, "Why?"
They paused in the entrance hall, and Harry smiled, "I saw my Mental Health Healer today."
"Okay, and did that go well?" Daphne asked cautiously; she knew his opinion on therapy.
"Yes," Harry said honestly, "It really did and…I learned some things about myself today, and I think I can finally start to let go of all that happened."
Daphne raised an eyebrow at him, "Are you actually saying that therapy helped?"
Harry laughed, "As surprising as it is, yes."
Daphne smiled, "What did that Healer say to you, huh?"
Harry reached into his pocket and held out a vial with a silvery substance in it, "I don't want to rehash it all, but that's my memory. I think it would help you understand why I've done some of the things that I have and why I am the way that I am."
Daphne took the vial from him and looked him in the eye, "Are you sure?"
"You'll be my wife soon. You ought to know what you're letting yourself in for," Harry said with a weak smile.
"I'd marry you anyway," Daphne said, and Harry could tell that she meant it.
"All the same," Harry said with a sigh, "I realised today while talking about all of that stuff, quite how much I've put myself through over the years."
"I'll watch it," Daphne said. She kissed him lightly, "But while I do, make yourself a cup of coffee and relax for a bit. You look exhausted."
By the time Daphne had finished watching the memory, Harry had gotten himself comfortable in his study. He was drinking a cup of coffee and talking to Charlus.
Daphne paused in the doorway and smiled as she listened to their conversation.
"So when Daphne and I have kids, they will be purebloods?" Harry mused.
"Yes," Charlus said, "Have you grasped the concept now?"
"I think so," Harry said as he tapped his fingers on the desk, "If you have four magical grandparents, then you are a pureblood which is why most wizarding families don't mind mixing with half-bloods because, within a generation or two, the family will be 'pure' again. But it's why there's still a stigma around muggle-borns and muggles."
Charlus smiled, "Precisely. You are a fast learner, my boy."
Daphne walked into the room and said, "Children, huh?"
"Oh, just preparing for the future," Harry said with a natural smile, "And trying to wrap my head around what makes one a 'pureblood'."
"Well, that's a matter of opinion. A lot of people will call our children half-bloods because one of their grandparents was a Muggle-born," Daphne admitted, "And Draco and Hermione's will definitely be half-bloods because-"
"Because not all four grandparents are magical," Harry finished with a grin, "See? I've worked it out."
Daphne smiled at him, "Yes, you have."
"What did you make of my memory?"
"I think I worked out why you went to talk to Sadie," Daphne admitted, "It was what Caroline said about the collapse of the tower, wasn't it?"
Harry nodded, "I hadn't realised how much guilt she felt over that."
Daphne sighed and leant against the doorframe, "I've tried to tell her that it wasn't her fault, but she blames herself for her father's actions. If we all did that, I'd be riddled with guilt."
Harry rose to his feet and pulled her into a hug, "Thank you."
"For what?" Daphne asked cluelessly.
"For sticking by me, through all of this. I know it can't be easy, dealing with my hero complex and my war guilt, then I throw in bloody alcohol dependency which I know reminds you of your father," Harry said, he rested his forehead against hers, "I'm sorry that I come with so much baggage."
"I'm hardly baggage-free, am I?" Daphne murmured. She lifted her head slightly and kissed him, "And I love you, baggage or not."
Harry smiled against her lips and deepened the kiss, murmuring, "I love you too," as he did so.
Lilly didn't often get nervous, but she had to admit, she felt sick with nerves on Thursday morning as she waited for Clara to meet her in the break-room.
When the door opened, Lilly jumped.
"Come on, Moon, time for the big test."
Lilly followed Clara out of the room and said, "Any hints?"
"Nope." Clara replied, "But there's no need to look so nervous. I know you're going to ace it."
"What makes you so sure?"
"Gut instinct," Clara shrugged, "And the fact you're the best British recruit I've seen come through these doors."
Lilly smiled proudly and followed Clara through a door with a red light on top of it. She stopped in alarm when they emerged into an open area.
"What the-"
"We're in a simulation room," Clara explained, "Take a moment to look around and come to grips with it."
Lilly swallowed. There was carnage everywhere. Bodies lay all over the place, and buildings were on fire.
"What happened here?" Clara asked Lilly.
"A dragon attack," Lilly replied.
"Yep," Clara said, "Now our simulation room is loaded up with scenarios that are sent into us by Aurors from all over the place. That's so we can test you guys by putting you into a situation that the Aurors you will work with have already been tested on. For example, this is the first simulation that your boyfriend and his friends faced back in August."
Lilly nodded, "So Neville is going to be in this simulation?"
"An echo of him will be," Clara agreed, "But don't talk to them or treat them as your friends because they aren't them. They are simulated Aurors who are programmed to resemble your friends."
Lilly nodded.
"So I'm here with you," Clara said, "I won't leave your side, but you are in charge. From the moment we step into the room and shut the door, I need you to lead from the front. Do you understand?"
Lilly nodded, "I won't have time to think or react in real life, so you need to test my ability to think fast and make difficult decisions on the spot."
"Exactly," Clara said, "Are you ready?"
Lilly took a breath and nodded.
"Alright, let's go then."
They stepped into the room, Clara closed the door, and the scene unfroze. Screams and shouts filled the air, fire roared all around them, and Lilly had to fight not to flashback to the final battle. She gave herself a shake and walked over to the group of Aurors standing in front of her.
"Guys!"
All eight Aurors turned around, and she recognised them as Neville, Harry and all of their course-mates.
Harry took a step forward, "Good, the Healers are here. I was just delegating, Harper, Wilde, Zabini and Wood – get that fire under control."
The four Aurors nodded and dashed away. Harry turned to Lilly and Clara, "If we can get the injured and the dead to you, can you do your thing from there?"
"Yes," Lilly replied simply.
Harry nodded and turned back to his men. He started barking orders, and Lilly surveyed the scene before them, "Okay, so we need a triage tent set up straight away. The wind is blowing in that direction towards the forest," she said as she swivelled in a circle, "So if we set the tent up downwind, away from the trees we should be in the safest position."
Clara followed her as she began to walk in that direction. She turned and yelled to Harry, "Potter! Triage tent is going to be behind those houses!"
Harry gave her a thumbs up, so she jogged in that direction, and Clara followed her. On the way, she used aguamenti to put the fire out in the houses near the area to avoid the tent being set alight.
Clara took the triage tent out of her bag and said, "Erecto!"
Once it was up, Lilly magically expanded it and stepped inside, "Okay, so we would normally call for back-up by sending a Patronus to St. Mungo's at this point, but since this is a test, there is no back-up."
"Correct, just the two of us," Clara said.
Lilly nodded, "So, we need five areas of triage, and we'll tag the patients when the Aurors bring them in."
Lilly surveyed the tent, "Realistically, we need to split the tent into three areas. This side will be the red zone for those who have a chance of survival but need immediate care. This side will be the yellow zone, for those who are not in immediate danger of death because they are stable, but whose condition could worsen."
Clara nodded.
Lilly frowned and said, "Green zone at the back there for the walking wounded who need medical care but can wait until the more seriously injured have been tended to."
"Okay," Clara said, "Want me to start transfiguring beds?"
Lilly shook her head, "Too many wounded. Let's just use mattresses on the floor to push them more closely together and fit everyone in the tent. Out front, we're going to need two more zones set up, a white zone and a black zone."
Clara bowed her head, "How are we going to go about that?"
"By the trees, we'll set up an apparition circle for those in the white zone. Once it is established that they have no injures, or just minor injuries, we can dismiss them and get them out of here," Lilly said as she indicated towards the tree-line, "And this area in front of the tent will be our black zone for victims who are deceased or whose injuries are such that we know they aren't going to make it. There's not any point putting them inside the tent and wasting resources."
"Agreed," Clara said.
Lilly took a deep breath and looked out at the village, "I think we have about five minutes until we start getting the injured in, so let's get this place ready to go."
They transfigured objects into mattresses, got medical supplies out of the bag that Clara carried and had the tent functional as a makeshift hospital before the Aurors started to arrive with patients and bodies.
Lilly jumped straight into Healer mood as the adrenaline pumped through her body, "No heartbeat, put him in the black zone, Longbottom."
"Potter, that one is alive, but he's got third-degree burns all over his body," Lilly barked, "Black zone him."
"Nott, get her in the yellow zone and Black, get her in the red zone."
She bounced between the zones, putting salves on burns, using complex spells to expel smoke from the lungs, and found her rhythm. It was hard work; she was sweating, she was out of breath at times, and she had to decide who lived and who died, but she felt like she was on top of it
"Nott, white zone her, she's fine," Lilly yelled as the final few victims came in, "Black, put her in the black zone."
"But she's just a kid," Draco said, a frown knitting its way across his face.
"I know she's a kid, but she's nearly dead Black," Lilly said as she caught his eye, "And I've got six kids in the red zone that stand a chance of surviving."
He nodded and dashed away. Lilly was about to head back into the tent when a yell distracted her, "Moon!"
She turned around and saw Harry carrying a badly burned man, "It's Neville, Lilly, it's Neville!"
Lilly swallowed as she looked down. Beneath the burns, she could make out his features. She was aware of Clara observing her from the tent, so Lilly took a steadying breath and performed a diagnostic charm, "Third-degree burns covering 90% of his body…."
She did a more in-depth charm, "Smoke inhalation…he breathed in the same toxic smoke as these guys. Were they all in the same building?" she asked Harry quickly.
Harry nodded.
"There must have been a chemical reacting with the fire," Lilly said. She shut her eyes and listened to Neville's heartbeat, "His lungs are burnt inside. Soon he won't be able to breathe; he'll choke to death."
"Heal him then."
"I can't," Lilly said. She looked up at Harry with a fire burning in her eyes, "Black zone."
"But it's Neville!"
"It doesn't matter who it is!" Lilly snapped, "He's too far gone. If I saved him, he would never speak again, and he would probably never wake up. His brain has been starved of oxygen for too long. Cells have already died; he would have brain damage. He can't be saved, so put him in the black zone."
The look Harry gave her was full of hatred, but he put Neville's body down in the black zone anyway.
Lilly took a shaky breath and turned back to the tent.
"Are you okay?" Clara asked.
"I'm fine," Lilly said coolly, "But that's the last of the patients, so let's re-assess. Once we've cleared the reds and got the last of them off to St Mungo's, we can move onto the yellows."
"I've just sent two more little girls over to St Mungo's," Clara said, "We've got severe burns and smoke inhalation. One of them is so far gone I think we're going to lose her."
Lilly nodded and launched herself back into her work. They cleared the red zone while the Aurors bagged the bodies of the dead. Lilly didn't look at them; she couldn't stand to see Neville's body being bagged up.
When they moved onto the yellow zone, the Aurors came in.
"Can we help?" Blanche asked.
"Green zone," Lilly called, "All minor burns, cuts, breaks or smoke inhalation. You should be able to heal them and send them home!"
The Aurors dispersed, but as Harry walked past Lilly, he said, "Neville just died. I bagged him up with the rest and sent him to the morgue."
Lilly swallowed, and her hand shook over the wound that she was sealing. Clara grabbed it and murmured, "Focus."
She took a breath and steadied her hand. Clara nodded, "Good girl."
Lilly finished healing the cut, and the scene froze once more.
"Well done," Clara said proudly as the scene around them disappeared so that they were left in a white room.
Lilly looked down. The blood on her hands and clothes was gone.
Clara looked up, and Lilly saw a large window in one wall. Behind it, four figures sat.
"What do you think then, guys?" Clara yelled, "Good enough to take her to see the baby Aurors tomorrow? Because I've been telling you that this girl is good, but you don't seem to believe me."
The window slid open, and another of the Senior Healers leaned out, "Attitude, Selwyn."
"Sorry, Roberts," Clara said, shooting Lilly a sheepish smile.
Lilly smiled weakly; she was still overwhelmed by what had happened.
"She passed with flying colours," Roberts said, "So yes, she can tag along with you on a Friday afternoon from now on, but just remember, the simulation room that the trainees use is live."
"Don't worry, she's aware of the consequences," Clara said.
Lilly just nodded.
"Fine, Trainee Trauma Healer Moon, you're cleared for field duty," Roberts said, "Get your arse up here so that I can give you the clip that proves that."
Lilly turned to Clara with a half-smile, "Thank you!"
Clara smiled, "You did it, Lil. I just gave you the opportunity. Now on you go and get that clip. You'll need to wear it every time you go into a simulation or accompany me in the field."
Lilly nodded and left the room, still feeling stunned by the dramatic turn of events.
"Potter!"
Harry froze. He had been expecting it.
All day, he had been waiting to be called into Sumner's office. They finished at 4.30 pm on a Thursday, so when Harry left duelling practice, he thought Sumner would wait until the following day to talk to him.
He turned around and saw the Senior Auror waiting in the corridor for him, "A word in my office?"
Harry nodded and followed Sumner through the complex silently. When he stepped into Sumner's office, he sat down across from his desk.
Sumner took his seat and surveyed Harry, "I assume you know why you're here, son?"
Harry nodded, "Because of my psych evaluation yesterday."
"Yeah," Sumner said, "Because of some things that came to light during that evaluation."
"You mean me being a recovering alcoholic, sir?" Harry asked calmly, "Because if you do, just so say. There's no need to treat it as a sensitive topic."
Sumner smiled slightly, "Well, then. What are we going to do about it, eh?"
"Healer Lamb said you wouldn't kick me out for it, sir, but-"
Sumner raised his hand, "We won't kick you out for it, but we are going to need to monitor you very closely for the next couple of months. Consider yourself on probation, okay, Potter?"
Harry nodded, "Okay."
"Every morning for the next six weeks, you're going to have to give a urine sample," Sumner said, "So you will come in, head straight to the hospital wing to do that, then get to outdoor training. If that ever comes back with traces of alcohol in it, you and I are going to be having words, do you understand?"
"Yes, sir."
"You are also going to meet with Healer Lamb once a week," Sumner said, "Every Wednesday towards the end of your healing class, she will come and talk to you for half an hour or so. That is mandatory until she deems necessary."
"I understand, sir," Harry said simply, "Thank you for giving me this chance."
Sumner leant back in his chair, "We're not heartless, son, and we're not stupid. You went through more as a kid than most adult Aurors go through in their entire career. It has made you into a brilliant Auror, but it also means you need a bit more support from us. What we put you through here, and what you see and do on the job, it changes you. We don't thrust that upon people, then leave them high and dry. We look out for our own in the Auror department, Potter; we're a family."
Harry smiled, "I could have done with that a few years ago."
"Yeah," Sumner said, "Lamb told me about your school life and frankly Potter, it's bloody disgusting that there was no form of therapy or after-care for you after Diggory died. You saw someone die, and they sent you home for the summer, then acted like it hadn't happened. If you see a co-worker die here, we put you through a mandatory psych evaluation before we allow you to return to work, and that's for adults. You were just a kid."
Harry shrugged, "It was tough, but it's in the past now, sir. I'm trying to take Healer Lamb's advice and leave it there."
"It's good advice," Sumner said with a smile, "Dismissed, Potter."
"Thank you, sir," Harry said, smiling back at his Senior Auror.
"Hey! How was your day?"
Lilly smiled sadly, "Shit, but great."
"How does that work?" Neville laughed.
"Well, I got cleared for field duty," Lilly said with a smile, "You know, four months early."
"That's brilliant, Lil!" Neville said proudly, "How did you manage that?"
"Clara put me in our simulation room," Lilly admitted, "And gave me the same scenario that you guys had to face when you first went in."
"Dragon attack?" Neville asked with a frown.
Lilly nodded, "I had to run the triage tent with Clara. The way we do things in a mass crisis like that is through colour-coded zones, so we have red for those who need to be treated straight away, yellow for those who need to be monitored in case their condition worsens, and green for those who can wait to be healed."
"The walking wounded," Neville said, "I remember you telling me about it."
Lilly nodded, "Then there is the white zone, which usually has an apparition point so that those who have minor injuries or who are fine can apparate away. Then there's the black zone, for those who are dead or who are so far gone that we would be wasting our time and resources by trying to save their lives."
Neville nodded as he followed her story.
"It went fine, to begin with," Lilly admitted, "I prioritised, but I had to argue with the Aurors about it. They had your faces on, but they weren't really you. They were just simulated Aurors wearing your faces to put me off."
Neville frowned.
"Then Harry came in with an injured guy, and it was you," Lilly said, "You had third-degree burns everywhere. You had breathed in toxic smoke; there wasn't enough oxygen going to your brain. If that had been an unnamed person, I wouldn't have hesitated to black zone them, so I did, I black zoned you, and Harry looked at me like I was a villain, but it was easy."
Neville raised an eyebrow, "Easy?"
"Let me finish," Lilly said, "It was easy because it wasn't real. I knew it wasn't real; I knew he wasn't you. It was a simulation, and it would all go away once I had passed or failed, and I knew that."
Neville began to understand her reasoning. Lilly sighed and looked Neville in the eye, "But the thing is, Nev if that had been real life, I wouldn't have done what I did in the simulation. There's no way in hell I'd have left you to die then just got on with my job. It scares me thinking about it because if it had been real, I'd have damned the consequences and healed you. Regardless of rules or zones or codes, I'd have done everything in my power to heal you because you're the most important person in the world."
Neville smiled at her, "I love you too, Lil."
Fear flitted through Lilly's eyes, "This is going to be our life now, isn't it?"
"Constantly worrying about the other one?" Neville asked, "Yeah, that's going to be our life, but I love you beyond reason, so I'm prepared to accept that if you are."
Lilly nodded, "Me too, and I bloody hate being stuck in France because I really want to kiss you right now!"
Neville laughed, "On the bright side, does this mean I'll see you tomorrow?"
Lilly smiled, "Yeah, now that I'm cleared for field duty, I'll be joining Clara on your Friday afternoon missions from now on."
"Well then, I'll see you tomorrow," Neville said cheerfully, "And once we've gotten through our first simulation together, I'll take you home, and we can spend the weekend doing whatever you want. Deal?"
"Deal," Lilly beamed.
* ~ TBC ~ *