This chapter is shorter than they have been lately-

Dick, Damian, Jason, Tim: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Guys.

Dick: only one day late this time.

Jason: that's a new personal record.

Damian: are we hoping to get it later?

Dick: the aim of the game is to see how late we can wish someone a happy birthday.

Tim: before this, the record was two weeks.

Guys.

Damian: but I thought-

GUYS!

Jason: yes?

There's kind of a story we have to get to?

Tim: ah, yes, we had forgotten.

Jason: please, carry on.

Kate pulled up to the mansion and turned off the ignition. She looked up at the massive building, letting Bruce's statement sink in.

"You're going to bring it up?" she asked. Bruce shook his head, a small smile on his face.

"If it's a subconscious thing, bringing it to mind might make him stop," he said. "I don't want that, so… let's just keep this theory a secret."

Kate nodded. She had to smile. Bruce could pretend as long and as hard as he wanted, she thought. He could deny it to the ends of the Earth, but they both knew that the boys were the most important things to him in his life. More important to him than his own life, actually.

She glanced back down at his arm and bit her lip.

"Scared of facing Dick?" she asked. Bruce groaned.

"He's going to kill me…" he said. Kate smirked at him.

"For getting injured?" she asked. Bruce sighed.

"It'll be the perfect revenge for all the times I lectured him about being safe on the field."

"I thought those were just your fatherly instincts kicking in?" she asked, half-jokingly and half serious. Bruce smirked at her.

"How long are you gonna play that card?" he asked. Kate smirked back at him.

"For as long as those kids know you," she said. Bruce sighed and rolled his eyes, gesturing with his injured arm to the manor. He flinched slightly, then offered her the chicken nuggets.

"Could you bring these in?" he asked. "I only have the one available arm."

Dick smiled at all of his brothers, who had calmed down. He had been quick to assure Alfred that cooking dinner was unnecessary. Bruce would be coming home soon with chicken nuggets.

He cleared his throat now, ready to start the next story.

"Alright, guys, the next one is The Pot of Gold."

"It's not gonna ask for a bath, is it?" Tim asked. Dick barked out a laugh and, still smiling, said no.

If only he knew who the leprechaun was going to be…

Once upon a time, there was-

A knock at the door, it seemed. Damian bolted to his feet but, somehow, Alfred made it to the door first. In stepped Bruce, with a very horribly wrapped bandage around his arm and Kate, carrying a bag full of chicken nuggets.

The rest of the boys jumped up as well, rushing over to Bruce and demanding to know that he was alright, making sure he knew how much of an idiot he was for getting injured and not being even slightly concerned about it. Bruce just shrugged and asked for his box of chicken nuggets.

"I haven't eaten anything since we left Tamaran," he said. "I still don't know what constitutes as food up there…"

"Never eat the purple pudding," Dick warned him. "That's mashed zorka berries. They're extremely bitter."

They all sat down in their respective spots, Alfred not mentioning the fact that they were eating in the living room, one of the things he hated most. Instead, he chose to focus on the chattering between everyone.

The boys all harassing Bruce about his self-care routine while Kate bit her lip, trying not to smirk, while re-wrapping Bruce's bandages properly. Bruce popped three whole chicken nuggets into his mouth, opening it up for a fourth.

Nah, Alfred was cool with letting this one slide.

Dick cut himself off mid-sentence, finding the solution to his problem. He wondered vaguely how his brothers would incorporate this into their main timeline… then decided that they would find a way.

He smiled evilly at Bruce, who froze, his sixth (how had he had that many chicken nuggets in a matter of seconds?!) chicken nugget halfway to his mouth.

"I don't like that smile," he said. Dick's evil smile turned into more of a smirk, making everyone else turn to him in slight worry as well.

"You're gonna like it a lot less," he said. Bruce looked confused for a moment.

"Why?" he asked, a bit worried. Dick clapped the shoulder of his non-injured arm.

"Congratulations, Bruce!" he exclaimed. "You're a leprechaun now!"

Bruce let out a long sigh, then nodded.

"It's inevitable," he said. "Let's get this over with."

Dick smirked again, not moving back to the Story Chair, and leaning on his arm.

Once upon a time, there was a person. Their name was…

Dick paused for a moment, trying to come up with a name.

Joker.

Jason blinked at him twice but said nothing. Dick wondered briefly if it was a good idea, making the character the Joker so soon after Jason's little vacation.

He frowned inwardly. Yeah, he figured that Jason's disappearance had something to do with Joker and his…

He only wish he knew the details. But he figured that Jason would tell him in his own time. For now, Dick couldn't take back the choice for the story and decided to press on.

Yeah, he was Joker. He was sitting on top of a fence, as people do, when he spotted a tiny man wandering around the field. Let's make this tiny man-

Dick cut himself off, torn between two choices. Sure, he had said it would be Bruce. But how satisfying would it be to make it Jason?

No, that was too risky. He would stick with Bruce.

Bruce.

Bruce sighed. This was gonna be a long ride, especially now that his arm was throbbing. He noticed Dick shift uncomfortably on his arm and frowned.

Joker smiled to himself. It was a leprechaun. He knew that if you picked one up and squeezed them hard enough, they would tell you where their pot of gold was.

"Squeeze them?" Tim asked. Dick nodded.

"Yes, squeeze them."

Tim pressed his lips together, still a little confused, but he nodded.

While Bruce the leprechaun was distracted, Joker hopped off the fence and snuck on him. Bruce being a Bruce knew he was there and just sighed to himself. He knew what the sad, pathetic clown man was after.

Jason coughed into his fist, a smile on his face.

Before Joker could get the jump on him, Bruce turned around, holding up a hand.

"If you want my gold, I promise I'll lead you to it."

Joker blinked, a little shocked at that. He hadn't expected such easy compliance from the little man. And he promised he'd be led to the gold… a leprechaun's promise was always kept.

Not suspecting anything, he followed the tiny man to a small patch of grassland. Bruce pointed to the clump of grass.

"This is where my gold is," he said. "Dig it up with your shovel."

Joker frowned at that.

"I don't have a shovel."

"He sounds so sad," Damian said. Jason shrugged.

"I mean, if you didn't have a shovel, wouldn't you be sad too?" he asked. Damian shrugged this time.

"But I DON'T have a shovel," he said. Tim tsked.

"How sad," he said. This made all three boys burst into laughter. Dick smiled wide at them all while Bruce and Kate smirked at each other.

Bruce shrugged.

"Make a landmark or something," he said. "Something that will help you remember this exact spot so that you can run home and grab a shovel."

Joker nodded ecstatically before pausing suddenly.

"Hey… how do I know that you won't move the gold?" he asked. Bruce rolled his eyes.

"Dang it, he wasn't a total idiot," Jason groaned. Dick winked at him, a smirk on his face.

"I promise I won't move the gold," he said. Joker frowned at him before removing a green handkerchief from his pocket and tying it around the clump of grass.

"I will be back," he said, unable to keep excitement out of his voice. Bruce rolled his eyes again.

"Whatever," he said. Joker ran off quickly, grabbed his shovel, and hightailed it back to the clump of grass.

"How's he going to get out of this one?" Kate asked, wanting to interject into the story. She had long finished rebandaging Bruce's arm, watching him in awe as he breezed through his box of chicken nuggets. Dick smirked at her, too.

"You'll see," he said.

Joker ran back to the spot eagerly, then froze, his mouth dropping open in horror as he saw the almost infinite number of grass clumped together by a green handkerchief.

His brothers burst into laughter at that. Typical Bruce… outsmarting the Joker and being cheeky about it.

"The End," Dick said. "And the moral of the story is not to be greedy."

"Otherwise you'll end up with a limitless amount of green handkerchiefs," Jason added. Dick nodded.

"Exactly," he said. "Anywho, up next is The Wild Swans."

Quote of the post:

"Some people deserve to be thrown into moats."

Good day.

Dick: but seriously, that's something that dad would say.

Damian: that's something that YOU would say.

Dick: in a heartbeat.