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Chapter 53 - More Visions

Rose returned to the bedroom to find that The Doctor had moved the crib over to the sofa. He was walking around the room talking on the phone to someone in a language Rose didn't recognize at all. It was clear that it was a language not from Earth from the way he would pop his mouth. As he spoke, he walked over and looked inside the crib at Sam who was still sleeping. He covered him with a thin blanket and continued the conversation.

Rose stood in the doorway and watched him for a few minutes. He turned and saw her. He pulled the phone from his face and told her quietly, "Everything is okay. I'll just be a minute."

Rose nodded as she handed him his tea. She looked in on Sam who continued to sleep. Then, she sat down on the sofa and watched the telly. The reporter was talking about a strange silver, rogue Cyberman who kept coming to the aid of soldiers in Afghanistan. A solider being interviewed looked at the screen, tears in his eyes. "I'm certain we wouldn't have made it without him. I'm grateful. Cyberman or not, I don't care. Whatever you are. Thank you."

The Doctor ended his phone call, sat back down next to Rose and sat his tea down on the table in front of them.

"Have you heard about this?" Rose asked him as she pointed at the telly.

"Rogue Cyberman in Afghanstan? Oh yes. It's on my radar." He said.

"Is that a Cyberman? It doesn't look like one. Well, as much as I can tell. They really don't have a good image of it." Rose asked him.

He rubbed his face and shook his head. "Oh, the gods. Please don't ask me about that. You'd never believe me. But, no. Not a Cyberman."

Rose smiled at him. "Oh, there's a lot to that. I can tell."

He sighed, "Not only is the universe stranger than we think. It is stranger than we can think. When you think you've heard it all. Damn."

Rose pulled her legs under herself as he turned to face him. He laid his arm across the back of the sofa.

He pulled the blanket back up on the sofa and wrapped it around Rose. She looked into her tea glass and sighed. He could feel her dread at the oncoming conversation. She shook her head. "I really wish I had a good reason to think that. I really…. I don't know. Maybe I need to think about it for a bit?"

He smiled at her as he ran his hand across her cheek. He spoke to her quietly. "I understand. Let's talk about something else. When you were a little girl, what was your favorite thing to play with?"

Rose laughed in disbelief. He could feel her amusement and surprise. "Where are these mad questions coming from? You've been on a roll lately."

He chuckled at her as he took her hand and kissed it, "Humor me. I'm just trying to get to know you better. What sort of toy?"

Rose smiled and looked at her tea. "My mum would let me get a box sometimes when she would do the shopping. We would put the shopping in it to make it easier to bring back to our flat. I'd take the box and cut little windows and doors in it and make a house. My dolls were too big to fit inside of it, so I made my own people to play with, out of paper or whatever. At one time, I had an entire village in my bedroom. I had so much fun with that. I would spend hours in there."

He smiled at her. He could feel her happiness at the memory.

"How about you?" Rose asked him.

He shrugged his shoulders and smiled, "I really don't know. I honestly can't remember anything in particular."

"Nothing?" Rose asked.

"Well, it was a really long time ago. I do remember running. Climbing trees. Things like that. Once you went to the Academy though, you really didn't play a lot. You had to study and that sort of thing."

Rose turned down the telly.

He picked up his tea and sipped it. "What did you think of the ship? I'll show it to you properly sometime when we're not in such a hurry."

Rose rubbed his hand. "When you walk out of the med bay, we turned right and went back to the transporter."

He narrowed his eyes and looked at her. "Yeah. We did."

"If you turn left, you go to living quarters. There on the left again. The biggest one being on the right at the end of the hall. There will be a big window there at the end of the hallway right, outside that door, where you can see outside of the ship."

He looked surprised, "Good guess. How the hell do you know that?"

Rose sighed, "Because I've been on one of those ships before. When I was looking for you. It was just like that. Except, this one blue and the other one was orange."

"It was a science vessel! Ours is a medical version. You haven't told me about this. You've never said much at all about what happened when you were looking for me."

Rose shook her head as she felt his surprise. "Some of it was bad, but not all of it. The captain of that vessel was extremely kind to me. Wanted me to stay with him as his wife." She smiled sheepishly at him as he rubbed her cheek.

She could feel his interest. She wasn't sure if it was her story, or her he was more interested in. He smiled at her. "Well, I can't say I blame him. Have you seen you? Tell me more."

Rose teased him, "So, you can get jealous?"

He shook his head. "I'll be good. What were they studying?"

"Supernovas. They were on their way to one when I landed on their ship. It was really odd. They were humanoids, but completely out of their own time."

He nodded, "Supernovas mess with that. Especially if they…. Well…. Nevermind. Sorry, your story."

Rose smiled at him. "The captain was very fond of you. He had just ran into you and you had helped save his entire crew. I had just missed you. Again. He talked about the TARDIS and your strange shoes."

He shook his head. "I don't know who that could even be. I don't remember this. Did he say if someone was traveling with me?"

Rose shook her head. "You were alone."

"That could be …..phhhhhh…. twelve different people. I have no idea." He rubbed his beard.

Rose sat down her tea glass on the table and looked back at him. "I thought you broke your phone?"

"I'm always breaking a phone. Michelle makes me keep two backups at home, now. It's became a huge joke to everyone at Torchwood. This one lasted seven days, so Lance won the pool. They don't know I know about it." He gritted his teeth.

Rose laughed at him. "Have you ever had so many people picking on you at once?"

He smiled as he rubbed his lips with his fingers. "I don't think so. Seems like a daily. Hell, hourly thing."

Rose laughed. "I think you must like it."

He looked at her. "I think it's just part of being in one place for so long. You get to know people better. Have a deeper friendship with people."

Rose moved closer to him and laid her legs across his lap. He smiled at her and put his hand on her thigh under her dress. "It's been a long time since we sat like this." He whispered to her as he laid his forehead to hers.

She smiled at him. "I'm sure you're not missing that big, pregnant belly I had."

He kissed her quickly and whispered, "I do miss it. I don't miss the worry that came with it, though."

Rose smiled, "I can appreciate that."

He rubbed her bare thigh. "Okay, you worried about me leaving. Rose, I thought we were past this. Why do you feel that way?"

Rose sighed as she leaned back and looked at him. She could feel his concern.

"So, we're not going to talk about this?" he asked.

Rose bit her lip and looked at him. "I can't explain why I feel that way."

He nodded his head. "I understand. A very long time ago, I ended up on Earth during a war. The Daleks had destroyed everything that a plague hadn't. My companions managed to get lost, in completely different directions. But, my Susan stayed with me. A local boy helped us get to safety and find our other companions, but while we were with him, I saw something in Susan I had never seen before. She trusted this man, more than she even trusted me. She began to argue with me that his way was the better way. I overheard him ask her to stay with him, but she refused because she felt she needed to take care of me. I was very old. Frail. Sickly. But, at the same time, she told him that she had never known the security of belonging in one place, and one time. I realized I had denied her that her entire life because of the fear that someone would find her, or me. Then, after the danger had passed, I just continued to travel. I never knew that was something she wanted. Or needed. Years later, I saw them both again and she told me it was something she felt that I needed. I told her that I done that before. Sortof. Before she was born. But, honestly. Never like this. Staying in one time for this long. It has been strange. But, I understand now why she said that."

Rose ran her hand through his hair. "Why?"

"It's odd. There is a security in staying in one time. With one group of people. Before, I would bounce between times and people I knew. Now, I know that I'll get up in the morning, go to a meeting with Pete. And next week, I'll be playing football with Summus and the guys. I'm looking forward to Christmas with Genie, Tony, you and now Sam. I'm thinking about what I want to do with that. I have to wait for it. And it's interesting knowing it will come, without me jumping to it. It's interesting how many things just happen, without any plans. You are headed in one direction when your path completely changes."

Rose smiled, "And the bits in between?"

He smiled, "Living in between the bits. That's the strangest. Like now, us just sitting here and chatting. This is something I would have never thought about traveling to, but it's something I don't want to ever miss. I promised myself when I came here that I would finally be completely honest with you about how I feel. I didn't think I could do that before. If I had to make you fall in love with me everyday, I was determined to do it. I can't live without you. I don't want to be without you. Ever."

Rose could feel his sincerity.

"When I took Pete to Plentitude, and we thought we would be so long getting back, I was terrible. My arms ached because I couldn't hold you. I felt physically, sick. I never experienced that before because of someone. I couldn't just….pop back. It was the worst. I know you probably think it was because we were making love so much then and that's what I was missing. But, it was honestly just being there with you. That companionship I had grown used to. Being able to be around someone I could be open and honest with, I had never had before."

"You couldn't be honest and open with Susan's grandmother?" Rose asked him quietly.

He shook his head. "We were never like that. We couldn't be. It was different than this."

Rose nodded. "So, this is the first time you have been in a relationship…..like this?"

He looked at her and nodded his head. "Yeah."

Rose took his hands. "That really doesn't make any sense to me at all. How could you be in a marriage, or relationship, without that?"

He shook his head. "It was …..ummm…. well…..hard to explain."

"Try." Rose demanded.

He sighed, "Somethings are just…. Different. It's not a bad thing, but it's just how it is. That's not fair for me to talk to you about this. I really shouldn't."

He could sense Rose's frustration. "Ugh! Anytime I feel like I'm about to finally get some information out of you, you do that! It makes me crazy! You make me crazy!" she told him.

He laughed quietly at her.

Rose pointed forcefully at him. "And I can tell you are enjoying it. Oh, you make me crazy! I should start slapping you. You know you can talk to me about anything. Even that."

He grabbed her hands and kissed them. "You lived here for so long without me. Terrible situation after terrible situation. It surprises me that you would think I would leave you after all of that. In my mind, I can see you leaving me before I would leave you."

Rose looked shocked, "Why would you think that?"

"Because all of that was my fault. How could you ever love someone that had hurt you so much?"

Rose looked surprised at him, "See, I thought we were past this."

He rubbed her thigh and shook his head. "Oh, no. That's still there."

Rose smiled at him. "I guess we both have some stuff to work on."

He smiled at her, "Nobody is perfect."

She leaned in and kissed him. It turned into a long, passionate snog. Rose ran both of her hands through his hair sending it in every direction. He held her close as he lay her down on the sofa.

'I'm not leaving Rose. Not running.' He told her in her head.

'I'm not going to reconsider loving you. No matter what you have done.' Rose told him.

He smiled above her kiss. 'I've missed holding you this close. You running your hands through my hair.'

'I can tell how much you love that.' Rose teased him.

They both laughed quietly as the storm raged on outside.

Rose stopped kissing him and whispered, "The visions you have…"

He held her cheek, "Yeah?"

"When you look at them, can you show me?" Rose asked him.

He sighed, "Oh, I hate looking at those." He complained as he sat back up. Rose sat up with him.

"If you show them to me, then you'll have someone to talk to about them."

He shook his head, "You don't have to convince me of this, sweetheart. If you want to see them, I'll show them to you. Are you sure though? Last time, it made you sick."

"I think I was pregnant last time. And let's face it, everything made me sick." Rose laughed.

He smiled, "Well, that's very true. I have no idea what's there. Are you sure?"

Rose bit her lip and nodded, "Just hold me tight."

He took a deep breath and rubbed his face. "Alright. We're going to do this."

Rose prepared herself as he cupped his hands to her face. He looked in her eyes. "Are you sure about this?"

She smiled, "Yes. Go ahead."

He pulled her in close to him. He leaned in and kissed her. He spoke in her head, 'Hold on tightly, this will be strange.'

She continued to kiss him as she felt a wave of emotions. It was like force that nearly knocked her off of the sofa. She grabbed his back and held him as tight as she could to keep from falling over.

She saw a flash of light and saw a little boy with blond hair walked into the kitchen in the London home. He was about three years old and was wearing jeans, swimming trunks, a sweater, rain boots, and goggles. She felt herself laugh when she saw him. "Sam? Is that what you are wearing?"

He smiled as he pulled up the swimming trunks that were clearly way too big for him.

Another flash and she was standing outside of the Tyler mansion at night. She was holding a small child who was crying hysterically. The mansion was burning. Fire services and police were everywhere. She could hear someone yelling her name and turned to see Pete running towards her. Pete threw his arms around her and the child she held.

They stood there for a just a few seconds when Rose felt two more arms wrap around her. She heard the Doctor's voice. "There you are. Thank goodness, you're all alright."

Another flash and she saw The Doctor standing in front of the window in his office at Torchwood. He was cross about something. He ran both of his hands through his hair and yelled, "Damn, that Howie!"

Then the window behind him broke and he fell onto the floor.

Another flash and Rose was sitting next to a red headed teenager. He was in a small space ship just like the one The Doctor had taken her out in. Tony looked at her and smiled, "Don't worry, Rose. I can do this and get us back. John's let me fly several times. We'll be fine."

The Doctor sat behind them, holding his shoulder. A much older Genie held a cloth to his shoulder. The Doctor was very cross. "Oh, that damn Jake."

Genie smiled, "Daddy. Jake didn't do this. That thing did."

"Jake was there. I still blame him." He complained.

"Daddy, you are ridiculous." Genie told him.

"No. Daddy is in pain. Lots of pain. I'm allowed to complain." He told her.

Another flash and Rose realized she was still sitting on the sofa, kissing the Doctor. She had unbuttoned his shirt and was rubbing his bare chest. They stopped kissing and looked at one another, breathlessly. Her heart felt like it was about to pound out of her chest. She wiped her forehead which was covered in sweat. "Oh my God! Wow."

The Doctor lay back dramatically and covered his face. "That can't be good for anybody."

Rose sat back and put her hand on her chest. "I feel like I've ran a marathon."

He laid his arm across his eyes and breathed heavily.

"When you look at those visions by yourself? Do you have this same reaction? Or is it because you are showing them to me, too?" Rose asked him.

He didn't move. "Same thing. It's no different."

Rose smiled and crawled on top of him. He smiled, "Well, this is different."

Her lips met his. She whispered, "Are you alright? Like really?"

He uncovered his eyes and looked at her. "I'm fine. Did you get sick again?"

She smiled, "No. I'm fine."

He smiled as he grabbed her face and pulled her down to snog her. The storm continued outside. A huge crack of thunder shook the house. They stopped kissing one another as The Doctor grabbed Rose held her and quickly turned so he was laying on top of her. He laughed at his reaction. "I thought it was a canon."

Rose laughed at him. Sam cried out from his crib.

The Doctor stood up and picked Sam up out of his crib. He said something to him in the language he used so often as he held him.

Rose stood up and turned off the telly. "We should try to get some sleep. He's not going to let you put him down again."

"He's not the only one. Genie is awake, too."

There was a knock at the door. Rose smiled as she walked over to the door and opened it. Genie and Tony were standing in the doorway with Zeus. Zeus ran into the room and jumped in the middle of Rose and The Doctor's bed. He buried himself in the duvet and hid.

The Doctor laughed at the dog. "Zeus thinks it's the end of the world."

Rose smiled, "Come on in, children. Everyone needs to go to sleep."

Both of the children ran and jumped into the big bed. Rose lay down with Genie in her arms, while The Doctor pulled the crib over next to his side of the bed. Tony lay on the other side of him, while Zeus laid his head across his leg. Sam lay on his chest.

Rose looked at him and smiled. 'Comfortable over there?'

'I'm the Children's Pillow now.' He smiled.

'I didn't even get to put on my pajamas.' Rose realized.

'I didn't even get to take off the clothes you had on!' He complained as he kissed Sam the top of his head.

Rose laughed quietly as she held Genie.

Genie asked, "Mum. Why is this storm so loud?"

Rose looked at The Doctor. "I don't know, Genie. I bet your Daddy knows."

He turned his head and looked at Genie. "NASA invented thunderstorms to cover up the sound of space battles." He teased.

They all laughed.

Tony shook his head. "That's stupid, John."

The Doctor kissed Tony's head. "Not to worry, Comrade. You lot are safe. It's just a very loud storm. Get some sleep."

'I'm glad we have such a huge bed. These children will only get bigger.' He told Rose.

'Why did that window break in that vision? Were you shot?' Rose asked. She could sense his dread.

'Probably. That's what it felt like. When we were in the shuttle with Tony and Genie. Did I still look like me?' he asked her.

'What do you mean? Had you regenerated?' Rose asked.

'Yeah. Exactly.' He asked her.

'No. You still looked the same.' She told him. She felt his relief as he sighed. 'Why? Do you think something is going to happen?'

He looked back at her. 'It's just….I had finally figured out how I was going to explain that to Tony and Genie. I might not have to have that talk with them, now. It's a relief. Let that happen in a few hundred years. I don't want to scare them.'

Rose looked back at Tony who had his arm laid across The Doctor's stomach. Sam lay on his stomach, sleeping, on his chest. Rose smiled at him. 'I wish I could take a picture of you with those boys on you.'

He laughed. 'Yep! Just me and my mates! Girls over there, boys over here apparently.'

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