Chapter 53: A/N I don't own Merlin.
"Cassie. Cassie." Morgana said softly, shaking her awake the following day.
"'Gana what's wrong? Is it Merlin!?" Cassie asked groggily, sitting up quickly with worry.
"No, he's fine. I just wanted to check on you and it's after midday, I was worried."
"I'm fine, now. Just sleeping. Are you okay?"
"Well I-I have to, I haven't spoken with Merlin, and quite honestly I'm afraid to. I don't know what I want to hear from him." Morgana confessed, giving Cassie some water. "I needed some advice, and I can't go to Gwen. Not about this."
"Talk to me. I'll help you figure it out." Cassie said kindly, sitting back against the headrest and talking with her friend for a few hours.
"Thanks, Cass. I really appreciate this." Morgana said when Cassie sent a note to Merlin to meet her in her room since she couldn't go to him.
"Of course, Morgana. It's what sisters do." Cassie said, smiling kindly at her and getting out of bed.
"Gaius will kill you for leaving, you know. If he finds out." Morgana said with a giggle.
"He has spies everywhere." Cassie agreed. "Which is why I'm taking the spies with me and they'll see all I did was sit on the floor."
"Thank you, Cassie. Really."
"Yeah, of course 'Gana." Cassie said with a smile, putting one shoe on and grabbing the makeshift crutch.
"Where do you think you're going?" Pellinore asked when he found her reaching the corner.
"To the gardens." Cassie answered, not stopping her trek down.
"No you're not. Back to your room. Gaius' instructions." Pellinore said, putting his hand on her shoulder and stooping her
"Well, I'm bored!" Cassie whined, turning to look at him. "And besides, I'm not going to jump around or fight or anything. Just sit and read."
"What book?" Pell asked, not seeing one in her hand..
"This one." Cassie said, pointing to the one tucked into her belt. "Oh! Bring Ellie! I want to play with her."
"Which Ellie?" Pell asked with a chuckle.
"Baby Ellie, obviously." Cassie said with a roll of her eyes. "I'll wait down in the garden." Cassie said, turning around and smirking to herself, not caring if he followed or not.
"Where are you going?" Bruin asked when he found her at the foot of the stairs. "You're supposed to be on bedrest."
"I'd like to see you manage to be on bedrest." Cassie muttered to herself before turning around and saying brightly, "I'm going to the gardens, to play with Ellie."
"Pellinore's got you babysitting? Actually, that's not a bad idea. I'll see you in the gardens." he said, taking the stairs two at a time.
"I know what he's thinking of doing right now." Owaine whispered against her ear, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her cheek.
"If you're here to tell me to go back to our chambers, I'll gut you." Cassie said sweetly, leaning into him.
"Nope, I think I'll go with you, play with my niece for a while." Owaine said, walking with her slowly.
"When did you even show up, I didn't see you."
"I heard 'play with Ellie.' Figured it was my niece, not my sister-in-law." Owaine said simply, his chest vibrating with his chuckles.
"Did you have lunch yet?"
"Yes, you?"
"With Morgana."
"How much do you want to bet he'll bring both his daughters?"
"I'm certain he will." Cassie said with a laugh.
"You two certainly took your time getting to the garden." Bruin said as he bounced his baby girl on his hip.
"Bum leg, remember?" Cassie answered, sitting in the shade and opening her arms for his older daughter to approach.
"Caelia didn't want to leave them?" Owaine asked quietly, smirking at his annoyed response.
"Here you go, one baby Ellie for you to play with." Pellinore said, handing Cassie the baby and going over to where his brother and best friend were. "Well, I'm off. Have fun."
"I'll get you tomorrow at training." Bruin told him, shaking his head with narrowed eyes.
"Good luck with that. He's even better after unwinding." Owaine told him with a snort.
"You hold her, you need all the practice you can get." he said, stalking towards his wife and sitting down next to her, talking animatedly.
"Hullo Jemma. How are you today." Owaine greeted as he sat down on the grass next to his wife.
"Do you want to make flower crowns with me and Cassie?" she asked, giving him a handful of carnations.
"I think it best if I watch over Ellie and Mary." Owaine said, taking the other baby from Cassie and making faces at both of them.
"What do you say, Jemma? These flowers, or these?" Cassie asked, holding out a few flowers of varying shades of pink and others of blue.
"I like these." she answered, taking two from each and showing Cassie.
"Oh, beautiful! Can you get some greens?" Cassie said, putting the few she'd picked on the ground and taking the ones the young girl held instead, braiding them into a crown while the girl went about collecting some more flowers.
"Cassie?" Merlin called through the door after he knocked, waiting for permission to enter.
"No, not Cassie." Morgana said as she opened the door and pulled him in, looking at both sides of the hallway to make sure no one was there.
"Morgana? What's going on?" Merlin asked, looking at her curiously.
"We need to talk. About that night. After Cassie's wedding." Morgana said slowly, her nerves getting the best of her.
"Oh. Right." he said awkwardly, waiting for her to continue.
"Well?"
"I-I don't know what to say." Merlin told her.
"Say anything! Just, don't say nothing."
"Wel- I mean tha- uhm." Merlin stuttered out, not too sure what he wanted to say. "It was great." he said lamely.
"It was great." Morgana repeated, wanting to slap him silly at his stupidity.
"Y-yeah. Really, I-I liked it, a lot."
"You've never done that before, have you?" Morgana asked, completely curious and her previous feeling completely gone.
"No. I hadn't." he admitted, the tips of his ears completely red.
"I hadn't either." she admitted, sitting on the edge of Cassie's bed.
"Morgana, if I'd known, I never would have-" he started to say, sitting down beside her.
"Merlin. Don't. I don't regret it. At all. But we still need to talk. Without stuttering." Morgana said, stopping him short.
"I don't know what to say, Morgana. You're the King's ward. I'm nothing but a peasant and a servant boy."
"And anything between us could never happen. I know." Morgana said, finishing his train of thought. "And there's Gwen."
"Gwen?" Merlin asked, confused.
"You really are clueless!" Morgana said, trying hard not to laugh.
"What does she have to do with anything?"
"She liked you. When we…She had a crush on you and I betrayed her." Morgana said sadly, leaning her head on his shoulder when Merlin put his arm around her.
"I didn't know that."
"I did, and I still-"
"You were drunk. We both were." he said consolingly, rubbing her arm.
"I really liked it, Merlin. And it makes me feel even worse. She'll hate me if she ever finds out"
"No, she won't. You're her best friend. Nothing can make either of you hate each other." he whispered, kissing her temple gently.
"We can't see each other like that. Ever again." Morgana whispered after a few minutes' silence. "I wish we could."
"As do I." he whispered back. "As do I."
"Tonight. Meet me in my chambers after midnight. One last time." Morgana whispered, kissing him on the lips and leaving him sitting there, open-mouthed.
"So?" Cassie asked Morgana as they had dinner.
"We spoke." Morgana said. "And tonight will be the last time."
"The last time for… Where ar-"
"My chambers. After midnight." Morgana said quickly, her cheeks flushing.
"Morgana, are you sure? About this, I mean. What if he's discovered?"
"He won't be. Trust me."
"And Gwen?"
"You heard her. It was just a crush, not really…you know." Morgana said quickly.
"She never really said that, she just sort of rambled nervously." Cassie told her softly, squeezing her arm gently. "And you? Where's your heart at?"
"My body's ruling me, not my heart. I can't let my heart get involved, Cassie. I'm the King's ward, and if I develop feelings for him and Uther finds out…he'll kill Merlin."
"Stay safe, my friend." Cassie said after a few moments' silence, giving her a gentle hug and pushing her to the door. "That goes for both of you."
"Thank you, for not judging or saying anything." Morgana said from the door, making sure to not be overheard by anyone.
"I would never judge, 'Gana. You're my best friend. My sister. I can't say it enough. I truly love you like a sister."
"I think of you as one, too." Morgana said with a small smile, jumping slightly as Owaine greeted her.
"Good night, Sir Owaine." she said with a slight blush, leaving quickly after looking pointedly at Cassie.
"What was that about?" he asked, looking back at the closed door while he walked behind the screen.
"Nothing, we were just having dinner. Hungry?"
"No, ate a little bit ago."
"You're not hungry? For anything?" she asked him, undoing the laces of her dress slowly and looking at him with bedroom eyes as she slowly stood up, her weight on one leg.
"No." he said, lying down on the bed and looking at her. "You still need sleep, you know. You've got bags under your eyes. No more excursions tomorrow, either. Gaius said you would have gotten your ankle cast today had you not been moving about so much. Have to wait one more day."
"I seriously want to just heal it myself." Cassie complained, laying down beside him and pressing tantalizingly closer to him. "But I can't do that, I value my head too much.
"I value your head too much too." Owaine said, giving her a goofy smirk and kissing her chastely on the lips. "Now sleep. You need it."
"I'm going to get you back for this. You and all the other knights. Just you wait." Cassie said, plotting a prank in her mind.
"Hmm, I'll dream about it tonight." he said, turning onto his stomach and going to sleep.
"Fine, go to sleep. It's not like your wife wants to be with you. Hombres, cómo es posible que sean tan ignorantes! No lo puedo creer." Cassie mumbled to herself, turning her back to him with an annoyed huff.
"I love you, but please stop talking." Owaine said sleepily, throwing an arm over her frame and kissing the back of her head.
"Morgana?" Merlin called softly, looking around furtively in case a guard dropped by.
"Shh!" she said, opening the door and pulling him in. "Do you have a death wish?!"
"I must have if I came." he whispered back, noting the look in her eyes and her dilated pupils. "D-do you want me to light a few candles, it's really dark here."
"No. I want you." Morgana breathed out, pushing him against the door and kissing him, letting lust overtake her.
Merlin kissed her back in kind, wrapping his arm around her waist and twining his fingers around her hair, pushing her closer to him in every possible way. Morgana moaned into the kiss, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his hips as she let her body take over while her mind was screaming at her to consider the consequences.
"I must confess I have dreamed of this almost every night since." Merlin mumbled against her lips as they caught their breath, running his hands up and down the silky material covering her body and letting his lips descend upon hers once more as their tongues battled for dominance.
"So have I." she breathed back, untying the laces of his trousers and leading him back towards her bed, falling back and taking him with her.
They kissed and teased each other for what seemed like hours, hands roaming and touching everywhere as Morgana lifted herself off the bed and threw off the provocative red slip that barely covered her breasts; both moaning loudly as he peppered her with kisses all over her body until Morgana took the initiative and reached down between them, aligning him with her center and pushing him in with her heels.
"Oh!" they both groaned, breathing hard as he thrust in slowly, pulling out halfway in and then pushing in once more, keeping the rhythm for quite a while until Morgana practically drew blood from his lips, looking at him exasperatedly.
"Faster." she moaned.
"Yes, my Lady." he agreed, licking his lips and pushing in and out quicker, his hand going straight to mould her breasts and tease her nipples as he moved his lips to her neck, sucking hard at the nape of her neck.
"Oh, I'm getting close!" Morgana breathed out, panting as she looked into his eyes, sweat beading on his forehead.
"Me too." he replied just as breathless, his rhythm becoming less steady with every thrust.
"Don't stop." Morgana whispered, her hands going down to his hips and digging into his skin.
"Trust me, I won't." Merlin replied, kissing her passionately as they moaned into each other, gasping for breath and shaking in pleasure with every thrust of his hips.
"We can't do this again." Morgana told him breathlessly, snuggling up to him in the bed and taking his hand, kissing each of his fingers seductively before letting his hand fall onto her heaving chest.
"I wish we could." Merlin said, kissing her forehead and resting his head on her pillow.
"If anyone were to find out, Uther would have your head." Morgana said, tears forming in her eyes that she stamped down.
"No one will find out. Because this is the last night, yeah?" Merlin said quietly, pushing closer to her.
"Yeah, it's the last night." Morgana said, turning to face him and kissing him passionately, smiling at his hardening member and rolling him back on top.
"At least Arthur's built up my stamina with all his chores." Merlin said, kissing her again before he entered her once more, making love on and off all night.
"You should go." Morgana said when the sky began to lighten minisculely. "If Gwen sees you…"
"Yeah. I-I'll see you later." Merlin told her, giving her a bittersweet kiss and putting his trousers on.
"Go out through the servant's quarters, just through there. No one uses it at this hour." Morgana said, slipping on the nightdress she usually wore and opening the door for him.
"Goodbye, Morgana." Merlin said, looking into her eyes searchingly as he held his jacket and neckerchief bunched in his hands.
"Goodbye, Merlin." she replied, not looking away when he gave her a small smile and nodded, leaving as quietly as he had come.
"So?" Cassie asked excitedly when Morgana appeared for lunch that day.
"Yeah." Morgana said sadly, changing topics when the door opened and Gwen appeared with lunch. "Has Gaius said when he's going to put the cast on?"
"Tomorrow. As long as I don't move too much. Which as you well know is nearly impossible for me. I'm going stir crazy and it's not even been a week."
"Yes, you are an active one." Gwen said with a chuckle. "Why not channel that activeness into Owaine?"
"I tried last night. He fell asleep." Cassie told them, rolling her eyes annoyed.
"Typical guy. When he wants, you have to, but when you want, he's oblivious." Gwen said with a roll of her eyes.
"Who was oblivious?" Cassie asked, a wicked grin on her face as Gwen realized the mistake she'd made.
"Sorry, what?" she asked, feigning ignorance.
"You heard me. Who is this guy you had a relationship with, and why have you said nothing about it until now?" Cassie asked slowly, exchanging an amused glance with Morgana.
"I have told you about him, the guy I first slept with." Gwen said, standing up and picking up Cassie's chambers nervously.
"You're lying." Morgana said, her eyes narrowed amusedly as she followed Gwen's path around the room..
"Yeah, and you know you're not my servant, no need to pick up our mess. I was going to get around to making Owaine do it. I have my foot as an excuse." Cassie said smugly, lifting said appendage with a roll of her eyes and going back to the task at hand, "Now sit and spill!"
"It was the stable boy." Gwen admitted shyly.
"The one you liked before Merlin?" Morgana asked with a furrowed brow.
"The very same."
"No! Why'd you break it off?" Cassie asked curiously.
"Difference of opinions, let's say. And Dad wouldn't have approved of him. He didn't like him at all." Gwen said, looking around nervously as she twisted a strand of her pretty brown hair.
"That's funny. I swear, if it were up to my brother, I wouldn't have married Owaine. He would have paired me off with Arthur or something. He actually did pair me off with someone, before he died. That was our fight, me and my brothers. The last time we spoke." Cassie said, becoming melancholy at the surge of memories.
"Oh, Cassie." Gwen said, giving her a side hug while Morgana did the same on her other side.
"You have to let it go, it's not healthy for you to think about."
"Part of me knows that. And another part of me thinks that they thought that I hated them when they died, and that's the part that rears its ugly head quite often." Cassie admitted, wiping the tears away and jumping slightly at the knock on the door. "Enter."
"Cassie, Gwen, Morgana." Gaius said in greeting, having Merlin heave in the cast mixture and set it on the floor. "I'm here to check on your ankle. The swelling should have gone down enough, hopefully. Good thing I have my own dogsbody to lug around all the ingredients for me. If not, the mixture would have been spoiled! If you'll excuse us, my Lady." Gaius said, nodding at Gwen and Morgana before asking Cassie to move over and lift her leg to see if he could cast it.
"Are you crying, Cass? What's wrong?" Merlin asked worriedly.
"Nothing, just thinking about my brother." Cassie said as Gaius dipped the cloth in the mixture he had quickly prepared while Gwen and Morgana left and wrapped it around her foot.
"Oh." he said lamely, clamping his lips together and helping Gaius with the cast.
"Are you okay? I haven't been up to see you for obvious reasons, but is the poison still…"
"I'm fine Cassie. Thanks to you and Arthur." he said, taking her hand gratefully.
"It's nothing. You're family." Cassie said by way of explanation, shrugging off his thanks and changing topics to some mundane chatter.
"Well, I'm done." Gaius said gruffly after a half an hour of their incessant talking. "I'll leave you two to continue to chatter." he said gruffly, standing up with a grunt and lugging the bucket out of the room.
"So tell me, Merlin. Everything." Cassie said, making herself more comfortable and turning to face him.
"Everything about what?" he asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.
"You and Morgana. And you and Gwen." Cassie said, patting the seat next to her excitedly.
"You want me to talk to you about them? Cassie, we're close but not that close." he told her with a shy smile.
"Hey, I'm stuck here alone, bored. And it was all for you. You owe me. And we really are that close, Merlin. You've just never asked me about me and Owaine. If you did, I might just answer." Cassie pointed out.
"Fine, but I'm not giving you any details." Merlin told her with a roll of his eyes, sitting down next to her and talking for the next two hours.
"Merlin!"
"Hello, Arthur." Cassie said cheerfully when he burst into her chambers.
"Sorry, my Lady. I was looking for my manservant." he said, looking annoyedly at Merlin and hissing the last.
"My fault, roped him into conversation. I was bored." Cassie said by way of explanation with a slight shrug. "Bye, Merlin." Cassie said, winking at him and giggling when he turned red.
"Yeah, see you." he said, leaving with Arthur to do whatever.