CHAPTER 52: Shakespeare Is A Jackwagon (Fandom: Who Killed Markiplier?)

It wasn't his fault. It was an accident; he swore. It had to be some sort of sick joke that they were playing on him. They… Y/N wasn't dead, couldn't be dead. It was Celine, or Damien! They were playing this horrendous excuse of a joke on him. He had left the manor in a daze. Maybe they also coordinated with Mark and he was alive too.

It was an accident.

Not again.

He somehow had made it to a bar. He drank until they kicked him out. "Get outta here! Go sober up or somethin', ya bum!" they told him.

He just needed to learn to hold his liquor better. So he went to another bar. Then another, and another.

It didn't help.

He could still remember the look on…

Where was everyone? He couldn't remember. He remembered being at Mark's manor, and there was… a gunshot? No, that couldn't be right…

"What the bloody-!"

William slurred out as he ran into the corner of a building.

"I do hope you know how rude that was, kind sir. Or ma'am? Hmmm, quiet type then, well, I'm sure you're a lovely being or… or… whatever you are…"

The corner of the building continued to say nothing as William's face met the sidewalk.

William slowly found his feet after a moment; grumbling at his now bloody nose and of the rude people in this town.

"Kick me out of the bar, and now push me down, the people here are dreadful. I need a drink."

Thinking that the building he just noticed was there, was a bar, he entered.

"Sir? Are you alright?"

"Yes, I am, I'd like a martini if you'd be so kind."

"Uh… This isn't a bar."

"What? It isn't? I thought for sure… Oh well, what is this place then?"

"Dollar General, sir. Save time, save money, everyday."

That was… new. William hadn't been in a store like this since… well, probably since Damien had become mayor. Where was Damien nowadays anyway?

The employee then spoke up.

"Oh! I know you! You're Wilford Warfstache!"

"Who? My name is William J. Barnum, or, the Colonel, rather."

"Oh yes, of course. Love the costume by the way. I myself have a cool Dark costume I was able to piece together."

"Oh really? He is quite famous isn't he?" William said, thinking the employee had said 'Mark'.

"Yeah, I guess he is. I really enjoyed Wilford 'MOTHERLOVING' Warfstache, how did you like it?"

"...Never heard of it."

"You haven't? Oh you should."

"What's it about? And I really don't mind any spoilers." He was going to get to the Nick Bottom of this. They didn't call him 'Smooth talking Sam the vivacious fisherman guy that can quote Hamlet on demand' for nothing.

"Okay, it follows the Detective as he tries to track down William J. Barnum, the Colonel, now Wilford Warfstache. The Detective manages to find him somewhere, never really understood exactly where they were. The Detective takes Wilford in for questioning and Wilford ends up in turn, making us question how the detective was still alive since he had been shot in Who Killed Markiplier."

"... That sounds… Interesting."

"Oh, it is. Mark is a really talented writer and actor."

"Mark wrote it?"

"At least, I'm pretty sure he did. A lot of people probably helped."

"So it is all a joke. I knew it. I have to find Celine, and Damien!"

"What?"

"If Mark wrote this, then all the world's a stage I say!"

"I don't think that's-"

"That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet!"

William yelled this as he stumbled out of the Dollar General in search of his friends.

He would one day find them. He was sure. He just didn't know it would take so long. People can change a lot over time.

Inside the Dollar General, the employee cursed. That was Wilford Warfstache, and he probably just went more insane than he should have been at this moment in time. And the employee didn't get an autograph, that was more important.

"All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts," ~from As You Like It, spoken by Jaques