A/N: Sorry for the lateness of this chapter. I've had two to three weeks of intense writers block! I know where the story is going, but I just didn't know how to get over the hurdle of Bess and Sirius' breakup. Hope you like what I've come up with. Hopefully this will get me over the hurdle and another update will be with you by the weekend. We'll see.
xXx
Bess spent the whole of Friday and Saturday morning worrying that since she and Sirius had had their major misunderstanding and then reconciled just before break, no one would believe that their break up this time was real. However, the solution to this problem was solved before Sirius even made it back to Hogwarts.
Bess knew something was amiss when the students poured into the Entrance Hall, slyly staring at her as they gathered in groups as they whispered and chatted to each other. At first Bess thought there was something on her face, but a discreet hand wipe proved her face to be clean, and so she stood awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for her friends, or Sirius, to come in.
When Sirius did walk in, he didn't smile or nod. His look was one of resignation as he walked up to her and asked if they could chat.
"Uh- yeah, shall we-" she asked quietly, motioning up the stairs. She was hoping they'd be able to at least keep their conversation private and spend some time together before they pretended to break up.
"No... I uh- I can't," he said quietly, frowning and reaching out to hold her hand in his.
"Why? Is everything okay?" she asked. She could feel her heart beating faster, and wanted to take her hand back so that Sirius wouldn't feel her sweating palms.
He shook his head slightly and looked down at their hands. "You know how this was to keep me safe outside the castle?" he asked quietly, and Bess nodded and bit her lip. "It might have to be to keep you safe inside it too... I can't-" he stopped and looked over his shoulder.
Bess followed his line of sight. She caught the eye of Regulus, and then of his friends, and shivered at the looks of contempt they sent her way.
Sirius turned back to her and whispered, "Something happened, and... and Lily will explain it, but..." He raised his voice, "I just think it's for the best." And then he hugged her tightly. So tightly that she understood that this would be their last public sign of affection for a while, and he whispered, "I love you," into her hair.
Bess couldn't stop the tears that sprang to her eyes, or her arms which snaked around his shoulders as she pulled him in even closer. She didn't want to stop being with him in public. She already yearned for his lips on hers, his comforting hand on her back or gripping her own hand tightly, or his thumb tracing her cheek as he stared into her eyes. They'd spent months, even when they weren't together yet, touching in some way, taking to each other quietly... flirting... she wasn't sure how she'd be able to go through a normal day hiding her feelings for him. But she had to.
"I love you,' she whispered back, before she buried her face in his neck and began to cry. "I thought we had a bit more time."
"I know, I'm sorry," he whispered back. "If I'd've known, I wouldn't've left so early yesterday."
"What-"
Bess was cut off by Sirius' lips on hers. His hand gripped the back of her head as his mouth moved over hers, and she returned his passion. The kiss was urgent and heated and then Sirius stepped back and released her.
Bess took a second to register the loss, and when she did, she frowned down at him - she was still standing on the bottom step of the grand staircase, and so she stood a little higher than him.
He nodded, and Bess noticed his hand twitch, as if he wanted to reach up and tuck a curl behind her ear. But he didn't. Instead he sighed, stared deeply into her eyes, and then gulped as he moved around her and ascended the stairs.
Bess stared after him, feeling a single tear roll its way down her cheek. When it reached her chin, she gasped in a shuddering breath and roughly wiped it away as she watched until he reached the top of the staircase and disappeared down the hallway.
"Hey," Lily said as she touched Bess' arm. Bess turned towards her, still staring up the stairs.
"Hey."
"Fancy a walk?" Lily asked, taking Bess' elbow and pulling her up the stairs, heading to the right, the opposite direction to Sirius. When they arrived at a small balcony overlooking the lake, Lily waved her wand and sealed the door shut behind them, conjured two armchairs, and sank into one, motioning for Bess to sink into the other.
From her bag, she produced a large flask and a blanket. Bess watched as Lily poured out a large mug of hot chocolate and handed it to her. Bess smiled as she smelt the firewhiskey in the chocolate, and sipped the drink, letting it warm her. She was taken back to the quidditch pitch two days into her first term at Hogwarts, when Sirius had shared his drink with her.
Lily then handed her the blanket, and Bess almost cried again. She put down her drink and wrapped the blanket around herself, stopping to inhale Sirius' scent. "God, I'm so embarrassing..." she whispered as she snuggled in to Sirius' blanket.
Lily smiled and sipped her own drink. "You remember Sirius said that Regulus and Severus attacked you last year because of him?" Lily asked. Bess nodded absentmindedly and Lily continued, "well, before Christmas, Mrs. Black didn't know about you." Bess' head snapped round and she stared at her redheaded friend. "And now, thanks to Rita Skeeter, it's not just Mrs Black who knows. It seems like there was a lot of pressure put on certain students over Easter... I think families wanted to have chats in person."
Bess hung her head. "So I'm protecting him from Delbert, and he's-"
"Yeah," Lily whispered. "He's protecting you from his family and their friends."
As Lily told it, Regulus approached his brother on the train ride back to school and... strongly inferred... that there had been pressure from 'the family' to try and get Sirius and Bess to break up, in stark contrast to Bess' own run-in with him on the train back to Hogwarts after Christmas break, when he'd not really seemed to care they were together.
The fact that Regulus chose to confront Sirius in the middle of a packed train hallway, wand out, backed up by three other future Death Eaters really hammered home his point. Regulus, Lily explained, said that as much as he thought Sirius' actions ("Well, he said something else but I really don't want to repeat it, and I'm sure if James and Remus hadn't held him back, Sirius would have killed him on the train") were abhorrent, he would still prefer to have a brother alive. While Lily rolled her eyes at this, Bess strongly believed that Regulus was telling the truth, and that his actions on the train came with a lot of pressure from his mother and... other family members.
For a moment she wondered if Regulus was okay, physically and mentally. As much as he toed the party line and, Bess thought, genuinely believed that Muggleborns were a scourge on the wizarding world, she did believe that some part of Regulus didn't mind her. After all, he could have hurt her irrevocably on many occasions, but he'd chosen to shove her or push her away, rather than using magic. She thought that somewhere, deep inside, perhaps he wanted his brother to be happy.
Then she thought back to when he'd called her filth, and shook all of her thoughts from her head - he probably just didn't have an issue with her before because he thought that Sirius was messing around.
"So that's it. It's done now," Bess said quietly. She brought her drink to her mouth and took a large gulp, feeling the alcohol making its way down her throat. "Sirius is right. It's a good cover. No one will question it."
"True, but it's created even more issues, hasn't it?" Lily asked, frowning at Bess.
"What d'you mean?"
"Well, if everyone thinks that you're broken up because of pressure from Regulus and his friends, they'll be watching and waiting for a slip up, won't they? And if they see one..."
Bess gulped. "Yeah, you're right. This will... this will make it harder." They sat in silence for a minute until Bess asked, "could you tell me something nice? Something to distract me?"
Lily nodded and sighed deeply, frowning in thought. "Okay, I have something, but you have to promise not to overreact and tell me off."
"Interest piqued. Continue..."
"James and I went on a date."
"WHAT? Oh my god! That's amazing!" Bess cried, bouncing up and down in her seat. "Absolutely bloody brilliant!"
"Yeah? You really think so? Because it was so good! And he's so nice! But I know you said-"
"No! No, brilliant! Absolutely wonderful! Tell me everything!"
"But you and Sirius!"
"Can wait a couple of hours!"
"Hours?"
"Yeah! I want to hear everything! Starting from breakfast."
"Okay... so we were staying at Sirius'," Lily began, and Bess allowed her heart to ache for a moment as she thought of the time she'd missed with everyone over Easter, but then she took a deep breath and continued to listen to Lily's story, putting her own feelings to the side for a moment.
xXx
Lily had been right on the money when she'd said that everyone would be waiting for a slip up.
The teachers and students of Hogwarts, who had seen how their previous breakup had hurt them both, and knowing that there were no sides to choose, gave them space. But even with all of the space in the world, Bess could feel the stares as students watched them all of the time, interested to see if they would break and get back together. It had the effect that Bess and Sirius didn't need to pretend to be broken hearted, as they really were - they couldn't find a spare moment to sneak off with each other.
Their longing looks were taken for what they were - lovesick stares. But just as the rest of the school watched, so did the as Bess had continued to call them 'Future Death Eaters of the UK'. Every time they were near each other, even if just waiting in line for class, a hex would be sent Bess' way. Hexes which were getting worse and worse. And so they stuck to their arrangement, torturously close to one another, yet worlds apart, unable to send so much as a note to each other lest it be intercepted.
And it wasn't just Sirius she wasn't allowed to be near. Two days after the start of term, Bess was chatting to Peter in the hallway, when he was hit with a rather nasty curse which made his toenails grow at a rapid pace causing intense discomfort and pain before Bess managed to get him to Madam Pomfrey. When James was hit with a curse that turned his knees backwards, they realised that Bess would have to steer clear of all of the Marauders, not just Sirius. Bess was quite glad she'd managed to figure it out before anyone hexed Remus.
Which rather put a spanner in the works when it came to her twice-weekly duelling practice with the boys, which had had to stop. Lily, who'd been interested in the sessions before the Easter break, went instead, learning how to fight, while Bess stayed with her older friends, often going for runs with Bartie, Grace or Scott. The Marauders and Lily had been hesitant to practice without Bess, but she had insisted that they continue. She'd rather someone was getting practice in.
So instead, Bess found herself relying on her sessions with Jasper every Thursday afternoon to prepare her. The duo still split their time between duelling in the first lesson time and then practicing Patronuses and other useful spells like disillusionment charms in the second. Though Bess had yet to produce a corporeal Patronus again. She was finding it even harder now that Sirius wasn't around her all the time - her memories of them were tinged with sadness and longing now, and her memories with Jasper were too intertwined with Delbert to be happy enough to be relied upon to produce the complicated spell.
She just hoped that one day towards the end of summer term she'd be able to work it out.
So, while Bess threw herself into her studies to cope, Sirius acted out a bit more. He continued to not get into fights (that Bess knew about), but he began to plan more and more elaborate pranks to keep his mind off of everything, and would frequently be found out after hours with James, earning himself multiple detentions.
Such was the power of the Hogwarts rumour mill that when Bess had met with Dumbledore to make a plan to go into the Chamber of Secrets during the summer, even he asked about their separation. The look she gave him made him smile.
"Another topic then?" he asked, and Bess nodded glumly as she rubbed her sternum, trying to ease the ache she felt there. Dumbledore's change of subject was relieving somewhat - an update on the search for Delbert. "As you can imagine, an Auror who turns on another Auror is rare. As such, it seems that the entire department is looking for him. Selket was greatly admired. The fact that it was Delbert? I believe that those on the case believe they have a duty to capture him and make an example of the man. It is only a matter of time," he said. When Bess left his office that evening, she felt only a little reassured.
In those first five weeks of term, only one moment of light relief occurred for Bess and Sirius - after two weeks of the agonising separation, anyone of age was allowed to take their apparition test in Hogsmeade during the last weekend of April.
While the students trudged down to the village, Sirius and Bess walked apart - Bess with Lily, Sirius with the Marauders.
But when they took their test, their surnames, Black and Coulson, put them next to each other.
They tried not to look at each other, and when the testing witch gave them to go ahead, they both apparated to the correct places, and back, absolutely in sync yet completely apart.
The relief came when they'd received their licences - Bess felt a hand tighten around her upper arm before she was pulled into darkness, her chest constricted, her breath caught in her lungs.
A second later, she felt her feet collide with firm ground. She didn't even look to see where she was. She simply gasped in a breath, whirled around, and buried her face in Sirius' chest.
They held each other for what felt like an eternity, but what was in fact only a minute. And then Sirius apparated them back, and they joined their friends on the long walk back to the castle in the pretence that nothing had happened.
xXx
Within the blink of an eye for most, but a slow and horrid couple of weeks for Bess and Sirius, it was the middle of May, the last half term of the year (which meant that students were either running round the castle happily, or cramming for their upcoming exams), and the week of the last Hogsmeade trip of the year.
For James and Lily, that meant their second official date - official, as Lily had come in to the common room on more than one occasion blushing bright red, her tie eschew, an embarrassed smile on her face. The fact that James walked in just five minutes later in a similar state, his hair even more messed up than usual and with a blissful smile on his face, told Bess all she needed to know about their relationship status. The evening debriefs with Lily (Lily couldn't stop gushing about James and Bess needed the distraction), only added to the picture of happiness.
So, for Bess, it meant that the half term week was spent helping Lily decide what to wear, studying in the library, commiserating Solstice (who had finally decided to end things with Derek once and for all over the Easter break and hadn't managed to find a date for this Hogsmeade trip while Derek already had a new girlfriend), and fielding a couple of last minute date offers.
Bess felt deja vu wash over her as she stood in the bright corridor near the courtyard, her bag over her shoulder, her books in hand, as a seventh year Ravenclaw boy asked her to Hogsmeade. She'd been on her way to meet her friends in the courtyard, as they'd insisted that she join them for lunch instead of moping around the library.
This time, rather than look angry as he overheard a boy ask her out, when he walked past with James, Sirius looked resigned.
"So uh- yeah, I just uh- d'you- d'you fancy going to Hogsmeade with me?" the boy asked with a hopeful smile.
Bess sighed as she stared at the floor.
"Come on Thompson, really? It's been like a month. Merlin!" Jo cried, shaking her head as she wrapped her arm around Bess' waist and pulled her down the corridor. "Absolute idiot. Don't know what he's thinking," she added in a hushed but angry tone. "You okay?"
"Yeah. Third one today. It's like they're testing my resolve or something," Bess replied with a sigh. "I'm pretty sure half of them are only asking to see if I'm really over Sirius, and the other two have asked me out before..."
"Yeah, well, whatever their reasons, I don't think any of them would think they had a chance if they heard you crying at night..." Jo added in a whisper as they rounded the corner and walked into the large courtyard which was empty save for the Marauders, who were lounging at one end of the sunny area, and Lily, Solstice, Mary and Skye who were sitting on the benches over the other side. Bess could hear squeals and screams coming from the grounds, and assumed that most of the student body were enjoying the half-term sunshine by the lake.
Then she registered what Jo had said. "Wait!" Bess whispered, stopping with wide eyes. "You heard me?"
"Of course. You cast muffliato every night. Snape created it, and Lily knows the counter-jinx for it. We just want to make sure you're okay so we take it off before we go to sleep. That, and it's ridiculously hard to sleep when you've got terrible ringing in your ears," Jo replied matter-of-factly. "Skye thought you were taking everything well until we removed it the first time."
"Sorry," Bess groaned.
"Don't apologise. We all get it. Remus said Sirius is the same. Well... he's not crying as much... or eating as much chocolate... but he's torn up too," Jo said, as she steered Bess over to their friends. "Which is why..."
Suddenly, Bess felt an odd sensation, as if an egg had been cracked on the top of her head, and its contents were dripping down her body. She shuddered, and lifted a hand to her head, gasping as she realised that she could no longer see her hand - it was see-through. She looked up at Jo, who was smiling brightly.
"I'll pass on your thanks to James," Jo said, pointing over at the Marauders. James was smiling, his wand in his hand, still pointed over at Bess. "We decided he was the best at disillusionment charms save for Sirius. Lily was pissed when we voted on it! But you're pretty much invisible now, well, apart from," she said, pointing at Bess' shoulder. "Here, give me your bag."
Bess handed over her bag and gasped as she felt a pair of arms wrap around her from behind, grinning as she was engulfed in Sirius' scent.
"I think you've got about half an hour before anyone notices you're both missing," Jo added in a whisper. She bounded over to the girls, leaving them to it.
Bess frowned over at the Marauders, who were all there apart from Remus. Then she noticed that Sirius was talking to Peter with his thumb hooked into his book, saving his place. "Remus used Polyjuice to act like you?" she asked quietly.
Sirius simply grunted in reply and roughly kissed her ear and neck. Bess tried to hold in her squeal as he nuzzled her hair and tightened his grip, picking her up and spinning her around.
"Ugh, I'm actually regretting this now," Skye called, as the girls laughed, and Bess whispered an apology.
"Come here," Sirius whispered, turning her around in his embrace. Bess found it a little disorientating - he too was disillusioned so she couldn't see anything apart from the pillar behind him, and it felt like she was kissing thin air. So she closed her eyes and felt rather than saw.
He reached up slowly, trailing his hands over her waist, arms, shoulders, and finally cupped her face, his thumbs coming to rest on the sides of her mouth. He used them as a guide, and pressed his lips against hers. Bess let out a content sigh, and smiled as he pulled back and rested his forehead against hers, his hands slipping to her waist.
"Just a few more weeks until you're all mine again," he whispered, rubbing his nose against hers. "I have so much to tell you."
"Yeah? I do too. God, I actually can't wait. I can't wait to live with you, I can't wait to hold you properly, kiss you properly... I can't wait to hear about what you did to the fourth floor boys bathroom..." she whispered as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, keeping her forehead against his as she tried not to laugh at the image that popped into her head - numerous boys running out of the toilets in a cloud of green smoke.
Sirius chuckled and rubbed his nose against hers again. "Don't worry, I've got a notebook going of notable events for you."
"You do?" she asked excitedly.
"Yeah. You know how the giant squid got into the boathouse and let the boats out?" Sirius asked with a chuckle.
"You did not!" Bess cried, a little louder than she should have, and clapped a hand over her mouth as Lily frowned over in her direction and raised a finger to her lips.
Sirius let out a quiet laugh and tightened his embrace even more, slipping a hand into the back pocket of Bess' jeans, guiding her closer to him as he nuzzled her cheek. "Have you been running?"
"I have..."
"Merlin..." he replied, kissing her again, his hand squeezing slightly.
Bess giggled and said, "Focus, pup."
Sirius sighed and replied, "Fine. Sorry. Boats... bike... yes. Yup. Needed somewhere to hide my motorcycle before I could work out how to shrink it properly."
"You brought it to school with you?" Bess asked in an exasperated whisper. "What if they catch you with it?"
"Don't roll your eyes at me, Missus!" Sirius laughed, as he peppered kisses along her jaw.
"You can't even see me!"
"You forget, I know you, love," he whispered into her ear, and Bess shivered.
"Yeah, you really do," she replied as she repositioned them so that she could rub her nose against his. "So where is it now?"
"Dorm room," Sirius said, kissing her deeply. He pulled back and chuckled, adding, "the guys are letting me work on it during the evenings. Remus said the roar of the engine drowns out the sound of me plotting the death of my brother..."
"You don't mean that," Bess said quietly. "It's not his fault."
"What? You have met him, right? You know this is all his fault?"
"No, it's Delbert's fault. He's the one who started all of this shit. And Regulus..."
"Is a blood purist who would attack you at any chance!" Sirius whisper shouted.
"I know, I know... I just... nothing. It's stupid."
"No, love, tell me," Sirius said in a softer voice, though Bess could tell he was still annoyed.
"You told me about your family. What if... what if they made him say all that stuff? I mean... I do think he's awful, and bad news, I'm sure he believes that Muggleborns are worthless, but what if... what if they did to him what they did to you? What if they're hurting him?"
Sirius was silent for a moment, and if Bess hadn't felt the thumb of his hand which was still at her waist rubbing circles into her skin just underneath her t-shirt, or the pressure of his hand in her back pocket, she'd have thought he'd gone.
Finally, he let out a breath and said, "Maybe. Why, what do you know about him?"
"I know that he's your brother."
"That's all?"
"Yeah," Bess whispered. She frowned and bit her lip as she wondered if she should know more about him. She quickly stopped thinking about it as she felt the familiar headache begin in the base of her skull. The pain dulled and lessened immediately.
"Then you're too nice for your own good, love."
"Maybe," she replied quietly.
She sucked in a long breath and sighed it out.
"Guess what?" Sirius asked, the edge to his voice gone now.
"What?"
"I love you," Sirius whispered, a smile in his voice.
Bess grinned and leant in. She whispered, "And I love you," against his lips and kissed him slowly.
They stood there for another few minutes, just holding each other and kissing, until James walked over to Lily and said loudly that he needed to go and see if Sirius was alright because he'd had to dash off to the toilet in quite the hurry. Bess tried not to giggle and she felt Sirius tense and curse in annoyance at James' inference. She imagined that the potion had begun to wear off so Remus had had to make a mad dash to the toilets to change before anyone noticed it wasn't really Sirius, but she also knew that it would have looked pretty bad, Sirius running into the loos and not coming out for a while.
"What're you doing tonight?" Sirius asked between rushed kisses as James walked back to Peter and stared packing up his deck of cards.
"Detention," she replied quickly, trying not to laugh as she imagined the shock on his face.
"What? Why?"
"Do you remember when everyone walked into the Great Hall and the tables and benches were upside down?"
"Yeah, hilarious! Peter almost had a heart attack. 'But... but if there're no tables, how will we eat?'"
"Yeah, that was Lily and me," she replied with a giggle.
"Love! Really?!"
"Yup! My idea, Lily's direction. She's going to tell James at the Hogsmeade trip, so don't mention it to him yet."
"Merlin. I wish I could see your face right now. I'm so proud..." he replied brightly. "Fancy doing this again tomorrow?"
"Of course," Bess replied immediately.
"Good. And Friday... but I want to see you. So when're you not in detention?"
"Saturday."
"Ah. Everyone will notice if one of us is missing... it's Hogsmeade weekend. Okay... you free on Monday during your free period?"
"Yeah... maybe... but I... ugh- this is so boring, but I was going to study then. We've got exams coming up and Jasper's given me duelling homework... I really want to see you, but I also really need to-"
"Perfect. I'll join you."
"You can't, they'll see!"
"James said I can borrow the cloak once a week. Easier than a disillusionment charm slipping. I can sit next to you and we can whisper. If- if you'd want me to-"
Bess cut him off by slamming her lips against his, and pulling him down into a passionate embrace.
They parted, panting, and she replied, "I can't think of anything I want more. I can't believe we didn't think about this before!"
"To make you feel even worse, it was Peter's idea," Sirius said with a laugh, and Bess tried to shake off the unease she felt in her stomach. "So tomorrow and Friday, and then on Monday I'll get to see you... And then it's just five and a half weeks until you're all mine," Sirius whispered. He kissed her once more, and then stepped away, and Bess opened her eyes as she felt the odd sensation again. She looked over at her friends and sent them all a grateful smile.
A/N: Okay, so we've skipped six weeks. Dumbledore and Bess will have more of a chat next chapter, he's not being glossed over, and neither is Jasper! I just needed to overcome my writer's block so I'm getting over the first half term hurdle. Hope this has been an okay chapter! Life at Hogwarts can be kind of boring when Dumbledore's busy with the Order of the Phoenix and Sirius and Bess are 'broken up'. We all deal with loss in a similar way, and Bess uses books to cover her hurt, so she's poured herself into her studies again.
Thank you to everyone who's read, followed, favourited, and reviewed, including: CharlotteGryffindor, Ghost Claw 001, Hpfan634, AvalonRivers, themugglepadme24 - (welcome back!), idreamtosmilealways, HorseGirl16.