* ~ The Eighth Year Universe Series ~ *
PART THREE
The Eighth Year
Chapter 54: The Prank War
When Harry got up on a Wednesday morning, he didn't think it was an exceptional day. In fact, as Harry got dressed and made his way down to the great hall in a sleep infused daze, he thought that the day felt exceptionally ordinary. As he yawned his way down the staircase, he didn't think about much other than the fact that he hoped it would soon be the weekend because the closer they got to the N.E.W.T exams, the more he hated being in class. In a way, he would be relieved when Hogwarts was over.
When Harry got to the great hall, everybody was already sitting at the eighth year table eating. Daphne looked up and smiled at him as he dropped sleepily onto the bench beside her, "Morning, Harry."
Harry gave his girlfriend a half-hearted smile and yawned some more as he piled food onto his plate, "Morning, Daph."
It was after Harry had eaten some bacon that his day began to get less ordinary. Neville sneakily smirked at Lilly, who was struggling to contain her laughter. Then the Gryffindor boy jumped up onto the table and addressed the entire school.
"People of Hogwarts. Today is your lucky day!" Neville exclaimed, "Mr Harry James Potter, the war hero himself, is going to be signing photographs in the entrance hall in 5 minutes!"
Harry gaped at Neville as lots of little first and second years jumped up and rushed out into the entrance hall.
Draco and Theo held each other up as they shook with laughter; even the girls were giggling.
"That's right, form an orderly queue, and the chosen one will be right with you!" Neville said. He jumped down from the table and made his way over to Harry with a grin, "That prank war you were talking about just started."
Harry was partly amused at Neville's behaviour, but he was also irritated that he was now going to have to sign autographs for Merlin knows how long. It did mean that he might miss some of Divination, though...
Harry got a mischievous look in his eyes, "Oh, you are so on."
"Good," Neville said with a similar glint in his eyes, "You better get into the entrance hall Harry, your fans are waiting," he added with a wink.
Harry tried not to show his annoyance as he got to his feet. As he walked away from the table, he was sure he heard Draco and Theo echo in unison to Neville, "How are you not a Slytherin?!"
Harry cursed under his breath as he left the hall. Well, if Neville wanted a prank war, he would get one. Harry smirked to himself as he sat down by a table in the entrance hall and started signing autographs for the first and second years that he didn't know. He'd been at it for 15 minutes when breakfast let out, and his so-called friends laughed at him on their way to class. Harry rolled his eyes and continued signing autographs.
"Dennis!" Harry exclaimed in surprise when he saw the boy, "After all these years, you still want my autograph?" he asked in exasperation.
Dennis merely smirked, "I don't want it for myself. I'm going to sell it. Do you how many galleons I can get for your autograph?"
"How much?" Harry asked curiously as he signed a photo of himself for his fellow Gryffindor.
"300 on a good day," Dennis said with a grin as he took a photograph from Harry, "Cheers, Harry!"
Harry glanced behind Dennis as he left and was glad to see that only a few people left in the queue. He signed another couple of photos and got to the last person, another person whom he knew.
"Ginny!"
Ginny was lurking in the shadows with an amused smile, "There was a time I'd have killed to be in the front of that queue."
Harry laughed as he got to his feet, "Where are you heading?"
"I'm free, so the Gryffindor common room. What about you?" Ginny asked as they made their way onto the grand staircase.
"Divination," Harry replied.
Ginny smiled, "Listen, Harry, I wanted to talk to you about Susan's party and that chat of ours after it. I was talking rubbish; I didn't mean any of it-"
"It's okay, Ginny," Harry said quickly, "I know, you were just upset."
"It was just a complete lack of judgement," Ginny said as she shook her head, "I will love it when it's born, and I will be a good mother."
Harry smiled at her, "I know you will, and Molly does too."
"I got a letter this morning," Ginny said with a slight smile as she waved a letter absentmindedly.
"How harsh was it?" Harry asked.
"It was grudgingly accepting," Ginny chuckled, "Which is a start."
"It's definitely a start," Harry laughed as they reached the point where they needed to go their separate ways. They said goodbye, and Harry hurried up the North tower. He was out of breath and 20 minutes late for class when he reached the trapdoor, but the ladder dropped down all the same.
"Ah, Harry," Trelawney said when Harry made his way into the room, which was still free of fragrance and excessive heat, "My inner eye tells me that you were dealing with the pressure of fame."
"Indeed I was Professor," Harry said sadly (but he knew Trelawney had literally walked right past him signing autographs, so it wasn't exactly a stellar prediction), "The pressure is so much sometimes I think it might get me."
"Believe Harry," Trelawney said dramatically, "And you will be guided."
"Thank you, Professor," Harry said as he took a seat next to Daphne and Sadie.
"I swear you always get away with being late; she loves you!" Sadie whispered to Harry, who smirked a little.
"How did the autograph signing session go?" Daphne asked with a chuckle.
"It was awful," Harry whispered to the two girls, "But I'm getting Neville back for it tomorrow!"
The following day Harry made his way down to breakfast and acted like everything was normal. Only Sadie and Daphne were watching him curiously, Daphne had spent the previous day bugging him to get him to reveal what his prank was, but Harry hadn't said anything about it. He smirked as he jumped up onto the eighth year table and announced to the entire school.
"Students of Hogwarts! My good friend Neville Longbottom here is a national hero for what he did during the war! And today is your lucky day because he is going to be demonstrating exactly how he killed Voldemort's snake!"
There were oohs and aahs around the hall, and it was only then that Sadie whispered to Hermione, "Where are Theo and Draco?"
Hermione frowned as she looked along the table, "I haven't seen them all morning," she whispered back.
With a rather elaborate wave of his wand, Harry caused a small platform to appear in the centre of the great hall with smoke encircling it. McGonagall shook her head in amusement at the Head Table; this kind of thing hadn't happened since the Marauders had been at school.
As the smoke cleared, it became apparent that there was something on the platform and that it was a snake, or rather it was two people dressed up like a snake, and those two people were Theo and Draco. The girls burst out laughing as they realised that Draco and Theo were hissing and waving their arms around in a strange fashion. They were both frowning, and when Theo caught Sadie's eye, he mouthed, "Help!"
"Compulsion charm," Harry said quietly to the eighth year table with a smirk. This, of course, only made them laugh more.
"And now, let us welcome our snake killing hero, Neville!" Harry shouted, and Neville walked towards the platform with an amused smirk. Once Neville was up on the platform, Harry transfigured his cloak into a cardigan, "And now that Neville is readily dressed in the cardigan of leadership, show us how you killed that snake, Neville!"
Neville picked up the foam replica of the sword of Gryffindor that was on the floor and started to hit Theo and Draco with it, much to the students' amusement. Harry grinned as he lowered the platform and transfigured everything back to normal.
The eighth-year table was still full of the sound of laughter as Neville made his way back over and sat down next to Lilly; he shook his head in amusement.
"Nice try, Harry, but my next one will be better," Neville said with a smirk. Theo and Draco grumpily made their way back over to the table where Sadie and Hermione were crying with laughter.
"I can't believe you put a compulsion charm on me!" Theo huffed.
"We're not your props, Potter!" Draco said as he glared at Harry.
"You made excellent snakes," Harry smirked.
Draco narrowed his eyes at Harry and smiled slightly evilly at Theo, "Don't worry, Theo... We'll get him back."
Harry raised an eyebrow at this, "Bring it on."
"Oh, we will," Theo said with an equally evil glance, "This prank war is so on."
Harry and Neville were both wary on Friday, but the day passed normally with no pranks. This also made McGonagall cautious; a quiet day in a prank war was never a good sign.
When Saturday morning dawned, Harry was even more cautious as he and Neville made their way downstairs for an early breakfast before Quidditch practice.
"Do you think they're planning something big?" Neville asked Harry as they trudged through the cold and empty school.
"Probably," Harry said, with narrowed eyes, "I reckon they're going to do something very Slytherin."
"Maybe we should team up," Neville suggested with a glint in his eyes, "Gryffindors versus Slytherins, whatever they do to us, we'll strike back."
"I thought we were trying to prank each other?" Harry said with a chuckle.
Neville shrugged with a smirk, "We've pranked each other already. We should focus our energies on humiliating Draco and Theo."
"Sounds like a good plan," Harry said with a slightly wicked smirk as they entered the great hall and made their way to the eighth year table, which was empty apart from Hermione and Sadie, the two early risers of the group.
"Anything?" Harry asked when he and Neville sat down opposite the two girls.
Hermione shook her head, "All quiet on the Western front...for now, that is."
Harry chuckled, "Yeah, I'm paranoid about what's going to happen when they do strike."
"What does that mean? All quiet on the Western front?" Sadie asked with a frown as she looked up from her book. Neville seemed confused too.
"It's a Muggle phrase," Hermione explained, "It comes from the First World War. One of the trenches was silent; there wasn't any fighting, so the phrase all quiet on the Western front means no sound or that nothing is happening."
"Oh," Sadie said as she nodded, "I guess that makes sense. Muggles have the strangest phrases, don't they?"
"I guess," Harry said thoughtfully as he shovelled some cereal into his mouth, "But I thought wizards had weird phrases when I came here...like Merlin's saggy Y-fronts."
"I'm pretty sure that one was unique to Ron," Hermione laughed. Sadie and Neville both nodded their agreement.
"Well, we'd better get off to training. See you later," Harry said as he got up, and Neville followed. They left and spent the rest of the morning training in the rain, then they had a shower and ate lunch in the great hall. They spent the afternoon doing homework, and the day seemed exceptionally ordinary, too extraordinarily ordinary to last. Surely enough, the prank they had been waiting for finally struck at dinner.
Everyone enjoyed their food when suddenly a large white screen was pulled down in front of the head table, and an old fashioned style projector buzzed into life at the back of the hall. Harry and Neville shared concerned looks as a 'movie' began to play on the projector.
At first, all that appeared was a black screen and then writing began to form on that screen.
"The Chosen One and his Trusty Sidekick..."
Harry and Neville's concerned looks amplified at this title. A clip appeared on the screen of Neville walking off with the sorting hat on his head after he'd first been sorted and Harry smiling in the crowd of first years. The caption for this clip was "...the start of a beautiful friendship..."
Harry was looking at the screen with vague amusement while Neville was staring at it in horror.
The following clip was of Neville standing up to Harry, Hermione and Ron in first year and Hermione hitting him with Petrificus Totalus. The caption read, "...there were disagreements along the way..."
By now, everybody in the hall was laughing at the slideshow, but Neville was still looking quite cautious.
Next came a clip of Neville hanging from the ceiling after the incident with the pixies in their second year. The caption here read, "...together they made it through the dangers of second year..."
Neville had now cracked a smile, and Harry was chuckling at the slideshow. Theo and Draco were looking quite smug further along the table. The next clip was of Neville's boggart turning into Snape in third year, a clip that made everybody laugh. Again there was a humorous caption, "...together they faced their biggest fears..."
The next clip was of Neville helping Harry in fourth year by giving him the gillyweed, and the caption read, "...they were together through it all..." as this clip faded out, the next one to fade in was of Harry and Neville by the lake, Harry was reading. Neville was looking for plants while Harry hadn't been speaking to Ron, the caption boldly stated, "...it was a friendship that became more..."
The whole of the great hall had erupted with laughter by this point, and Harry himself was wiping tears from his eyes. Neville just shook his head in amusement. The following clip to roll was of Harry and Neville having their heartfelt conversation about their parents in the Room of Requirement in fifth year, but as there was no audio, nobody would know what it was about. As Harry patted Neville on the back, the caption came up with the words, "...it became a relationship..."
Next came a clip of Neville and Harry fighting together in the Ministry at the end of fifth year, and the caption read, "...they fought together..." then there was a scene of Harry and Neville laughing on their way to the train at the end of fifth year flashed up, "...and loved together..."
There was then a scene of Neville and Harry talking at Slughorn's Christmas party in sixth year, both boys were dressed up rather smartly, and the caption read, "...the first date..." Harry laughed even louder at this, and it was what cracked Neville up too in the end.
What happened next was inevitable; a clip of Neville killing Nagini flashed up, and the caption read, "...and then the apprentice became the master..."
Hermione burst out laughing and whispered to Draco and Theo, "How do you two know "Star Wars"?"
"Theo's idea," Draco whispered back.
Theo shrugged, "I listen in Muggle Studies sometimes."
Harry scoffed and said, "I'm still the master."
Neville was too busy laughing at this point to reply. Back on the screen, there was now a clip of Harry defeating Voldemort with a caption of, "...and the chosen one reaches his peak..."
At this, Daphne sniggered next to Harry, and he shot her a playful look. The next and final clip was of Harry and Neville meeting for the first time after the battle and congratulating and hugging each other. The clip paused on the hug, and the caption faded in, "...the love story of a lifetime."
The hall was still buzzing with laughter as the picture faded out, and Harry wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his cloak.
"That was brilliant," he said through his laughter to Theo and Draco, "How did you do it?"
Draco smirked and replied, "We got the memories we needed from your friends," he turned around and winked at Hermione, who rolled her eyes, "And we used a potion to transfer them into the projector so that we could show them that way."
Neville was still chuckling as he said to the Slytherins, "That was a fantastic prank but don't worry, Harry and I will get you back."
"Did this just become a team battle?" Theo asked with a raised eyebrow.
Harry gave him a challenging look and said, "Yes, yes, it did."
"I have a cunning plan."
"Is it as cunning as a fox that has just graduated from Cunningham University with a degree in cunning?" Hermione deadpanned from the sofa.
Harry frowned, "Not quite. But it is cunning."
Daphne looked up with a frown; she was curled up on an armchair trying to study, "Okay...do tell."
Harry grinned and abandoned his homework, "Well, Nev thinks I'm on his team, and I'm going to stop trying to prank him," he smirked at his girlfriend, "But what if I turn the tables on him?"
"You mean team up with someone else against him?" Daphne asked with that evil Slytherin glint in her eyes, "That's very Slytherin of you, Potter."
Harry grinned at her, "It turns me on when you call me Potter and do that evil Slytherin glare thing."
Daphne laughed out loud at this, "So are we teaming up or what?"
"Well, I can't just take anyone. I need someone with really good pranks up their sleeve," Harry said playfully, "Is that you?"
Daphne grinned wickedly, "Do you really need to ask?"
After their late talk on Sunday night, Harry and Daphne made sure that they were up early on Monday morning.
In fact, they were up so early that they made it to the great hall before the doors had even opened to serve breakfast.
"Perfect," Harry whispered to his girlfriend underneath the invisibility cloak. He clicked his fingers, and Kreacher appeared with a crack that echoed around the entrance hall.
"Kreacher," Harry whispered as he took the hood off on the cloak so his head floated in mid-air, "Can you open the doors to the great hall? We're going to play a great prank on everyone this morning."
"Of course, Master Harry," Kreacher whispered back as he opened the doors and bowed to Harry, "Can Master Harry please not tell the other house-elves what Kreacher did? Winky will punish Kreacher."
Harry chuckled and said, "I promise not to tell a soul, Kreacher."
Kreacher bowed once more and vanished with another crack. Harry pulled the cloak over himself and Daphne again, and they walked into the hall, which was just beginning to get light.
"Okay, Daph, go ahead and do the charm," Harry said with a smirk. Daphne grinned and started to work her magic. Once the charm was done, they locked the doors again and sat down close to the doors underneath the cloak. They didn't have to wait long for the doors to open again and for the first people to make their way into the hall.
Unfortunately, the charm didn't work straight away because it required two people to walk in together, and McGonagall entered the hall on her own, but then the other teachers began to arrive. Sprout was next, but she came on her own too. Then came Filch and Trelawney, who walked through the archway together, and Harry and Daphne grinned as the charm worked. The moment they had walked through the archway together, their clothes got switched so that Filch was wearing a rather colourful checked dress with high-heeled boots, and Trelawney was wearing Filch's old suit.
McGonagall seemed to be trying very hard not to laugh, and Sprout had burst out laughing. Filch looked down and yelled, "Ach! What the...?"
"How did this happen?" Trelawney asked curiously.
From the head table, McGonagall said, "I suspect that this is the next stage of the eighth years' prank war. Do not try and magic the clothes away or transfigure them; it will probably only make them worse; just let the charm wear off."
"How do you know all of this?" Filch asked the Headmistress curiously.
Trelawney smiled, "Minerva was a teacher to the Marauders, and I believe James' son is very similar to him," she said as she took her seat at the head table.
"Very similar indeed," McGonagall agreed.
Trelawney chuckled and said, "He thinks I only give him good grades in Divination because he tells me what I want to hear by being dramatic all of the time. He thinks he has me completely fooled, but I know what he's up to."
McGonagall frowned and asked, "Forgive me for asking Sybil but then why do you give him good grades?"
"As much as he would hate to admit it, the boy may have some seer in him. He has an evident inner eye," Trelawney said. McGonagall looked sceptical. Daphne just sniggered at Harry, who had spent the last few minutes gaping at the head table.
The two pranksters were drawn away from the teacher's conversation when two more people walked through the doors together and got their clothes switched. It was Charlie and Sinistra. Sinistra ended up in Charlie's baggy fireproof trousers and his equally fireproof and disgusting t-shirt, and Charlie ended up wearing his girlfriend's skirt, high heels and blouse.
Sprout was now crying with laughter, and even Filch and Trelawney had joined in at this. McGonagall's mouth was twitching as she tried not to laugh. Charlie looked up at the head table and asked, "Is my adopted brother around by any chance?"
Sinistra made a face and said, "Charlie, your clothes smell disgusting."
Charlie rolled his eyes at this as they made their way to the head table, "Merlin Aurora, how the heck do you walk in these things?"
"The eighth years' prank war," McGonagall said by way of explanation.
Charlie said, "I guessed," as he looked around the hall, "I wonder which corner Harry is invisible in..."
He narrowed his eyes as he and Sinistra sat down. Then he called out, "Oi Harry! What are you doing under that cloak with your girlfriend?"
Harry and Daphne sniggered at this. Harry pulled the cloak off and shouted across the hall, "Nice skirt Charlie!"
Charlie laughed loudly at this, and Harry and Daphne sat down at the eighth year table. Charlie said, "Nice prank! Fred and George would be proud!"
More teachers arrived, but they all came on their own sadly. Then Hermione and Sadie arrived in the hall; they were the first students to do so. The girls didn't have it too bad since they were both the same gender, but they looked down with a frown as they realised that their robes and ties had changed colours.
"What the..." Hermione said in confusion, but then she heard chuckling and looked up to see Harry and Daphne at the eighth year table.
"A prank then?" Hermione asked as she and Sadie sat down.
"A good one, don't you think?" Daphne asked, "Look at some of the teachers."
Hermione and Sadie burst out laughing when they saw Filch and Charlie.
Sadie said through her laughter, "Well, at least we only changed house colours."
Next to arrive were Hagrid and Flitwick, who ended up in each other's clothes. It was highly amusing to see Hagrid in robes for once and Flitwick looking quite rough in Hagrid's clothes.
As McGonagall explained that it was a prank, Harry mumbled to Daphne, "Thank Merlin, we decided to put a resizing charm on it."
At this, all three girls sniggered. The morning continued in the same way, people kept coming in together, and as a result, their clothes kept switching. Blaise and Ginny ended up switching clothes, as did Ernie and Justin, and so it went on.
It took forever, but eventually, Neville and Lilly walked in together. They didn't realise what was wrong with the door and why so many people were lurking around in the entrance hall. They ended up wearing each other's school uniform, so for Lilly, this meant that she was wearing trousers and Gryffindor colours, but Neville was in a skirt and Ravenclaw colours.
"What the hell did you do?" Neville asked Harry as he sat down at the table and stared at his clothes in horror.
"I switched teams," Harry said with a smirk, "All is fair in love and a prank war, my friend. Nice skirt, by the way."
Neville narrowed his eyes at his friend, "You'll pay for this one, Potter."
"We'll see about that Longbottom."
"I wasn't doing what you think I was doing, Theo!"
"Yeah, right, I heard you, moaning and everything."
"I wasn't moaning; I was grunting in pain because I was exercising."
"Right, what muscle were you using exactly?"
"Theo, I was exercising!"
"With Potter?"
"No, he wasn't even there at the time!"
Theo and Draco were arguing on their way to the great hall about what Draco had been doing that morning when Theo had made his way up to his dorm to get him.
"What do you mean he wasn't there? He's never at the hall before us in the morning," Theo said as he smirked at his friend.
"Well, he is today," Draco said as he glared at his fellow Slytherin. It was then, as they reached the entrance hall, that they realised something.
"Wait..." They both said as they stopped and caught each other's eye, "Harry was up before us...he's planning something!"
The two boys were even more cautious when they got to the entrance hall and realised it was quite full, and people seemed to be afraid to go through the door. In fact, there was a line, and people were going through it one by one.
Theo scoffed, "This is stupid; come on, Draco."
"Uh, Theo, do you think we should? It might be a bad idea. What if this is Harry's prank?" Draco asked as he edged slowly after his friend.
"Then it's not a good prank, is it? Putting a lot of people in the entrance hall to freak us out," Theo snorted and grabbed Draco by the arm. Together they walked into the hall, and with a pop, they switched clothes.
"So this is Harry's prank," Theo realised as he glanced down; neither of them had changed much because they wore similar clothes.
"Bloody hell Theo; how the hell do you wear these things?" Draco asked as he attempted to walk in Theo's extremely tight school trousers.
"Skinny jeans Draco, they are all the rage," Theo said as he and his friend made their way to the eighth year table. Draco seemed to be having some trouble walking in Theo's trousers, and when they reached the table, the others were in hysterics.
"Seriously, Theo! These things cut off blood supply to vital...parts," Draco said as he let out a very unmanly squeal of pain as he tried to sit down.
"Draco, do you even wear boxers?" Theo asked as he sat down next to the blonde, "These things are airier than your average pair of school trousers."
"Shut up, Theo," Draco said as he rolled his eyes, "So this was your prank, Potter?"
"Yeah, pretty good, right?" Harry asked with a smirk.
"You didn't get the worst of it, guys," Hermione chuckled to Draco and Theo, "Neville's wearing a skirt!"
At this, a fresh bout of laughter went around the table and then Draco and Theo had an ingenious thought and caught each other's eye. Draco went for Harry, and Theo went for Daphne. They grabbed the pranksters and carried them to the charmed archway, and pushed them through it.
With a loud pop, Harry had ended up in Daphne's skirt, high heels, blouse and the Slytherin colours, which was the worst part.
Daphne made a face as she looked down; she was now wearing Harry's trousers and Gryffindor colours, "Yuck! I'm a Gryffindor!"
"I'm wearing a skirt! And I'm in Slytherin colours!" Harry exclaimed in disgust. The others were laughing; Theo and Draco, in particular, were in hysterics.
"Well," Harry said with a glance to his girlfriend, "That kind of backfired."
"Ya think?"
There was another quiet day in the prank war, but it was because scheming was going on.
"If he can switch teams, so can I," Draco had said to Hermione as they lay in bed together on Tuesday night, "I have a plan, but I don't know if it will work. Want to work with me?"
Hermione laughed, "Alright, but only as long as it's a fun one that won't embarrass anyone."
Draco grinned, "I promise it won't."
"Okay, then tell me what it is," Hermione said with a slightly wicked smirk. Draco's grin widened as he filled Hermione in on his plan. They spent the next few hours scheming and brewing a reasonably easy potion. The following day, they got up early and sneakily made their way down to the kitchens.
"I'd feel better about this if we had Harry's invisibility cloak," Hermione whispered as she and Draco finally reached the kitchens.
"Well, we don't need a cloak to get around unnoticed. Us Slytherins are naturally sneaky," Draco said with a smug grin as Hermione tickled the pear and the door to the kitchens opened. The moment he saw Draco, Kreacher hurried over to them.
"Master Black! Can Kreacher do anything for you?" Kreacher asked eagerly.
Draco nodded, "We're playing a prank this morning, but we need someone to put this into the pumpkin juice," he said as he held out a vial of potion.
Kreacher looked at the vial warily and said, "Kreacher is not sure he should be doing this. Headmistress and Winky will be angry."
"No, they won't, Kreacher," Hermione said with a smile, "It's a funny prank. It will make people happy."
"Kreacher likes happiness," Kreacher said thoughtfully, and with another contemplative glance at the vial, he took it.
"Thanks, Kreacher," Draco said with a grin. Kreacher bowed, and then Draco and Hermione left the kitchen.
"That was easy," Draco said happily as he and Hermione made their way toward the great hall.
"Don't you think it's kind of wrong to get house-elves to do our bidding?" Hermione asked with a slightly troubled frown.
"No," Draco said simply. He was glared at by Hermione, so he said, "They like being told what to do. It's what they are made for. They wouldn't know what to do if we made them make all of their own choices all of a sudden."
"You sound like Ron," Hermione said as she wrinkled her nose.
Draco made a face at this, "Do I? In that case, I love house-elves. Let's free them all."
Hermione tried to glare at him but ended up chuckling at this as they reached the entrance hall just as McGonagall was opening the doors for breakfast. The Headmistress narrowed her eyes at the couple.
"I see you two are up early today."
"Yes, Headmistress," Hermione said in her best 'I'm a sweet innocent student' voice with a smile, "We just wanted to start this lovely Wednesday off with an early morning breakfast."
"I was not surprised to see Miss Greengrass dragged into this prank war, nor was I surprised at your involvement, Mr Black. But you, Miss Granger, I did not expect you to be involved."
Hermione smiled slightly at this, "This is my last year at school Professor, I might as well enjoy it."
"How very Lily Evans of you," McGonagall said fondly. She shot the couple a small smile then walked towards the head table.
Draco and Hermione spent the early part of the morning catching up on homework as they waited for the others to arrive. Once it got to a normal time of morning and the eighth year table began to fill up, Hermione and Draco began to smirk slightly. They had set a time-release charm on the potion so that when the hall was full, it would happen at the same time.
"Why are you two smirking?" Theo asked Draco and Hermione suspiciously.
"We aren't smirking," Hermione said with the worst poker face ever.
"Yes, you are," Neville said. He poked his head around from the other side of Theo, "What are you planning?"
"It's too late," Harry said with narrowed eyes from across the table, "Draco, you were up ridiculously early this morning..."
"They've already done it," Neville said as he looked around the hall suspiciously. Hermione sniggered as the clock on the wall hit 8.30 am. The time-release charm on the potion caused it to go off, and anyone who had drunk pumpkin juice, which was almost everyone changed appearance with a pop.
All of the Gryffindors in the hall suddenly had pale green skin and pure silver hair, the colours of Slytherin house. All of the Slytherins were decked in the Gryffindor colours with light red skin and pure gold hair.
Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were also in each other's colours, with the Ravenclaws having bright yellow skin and jet black hair. The Hufflepuffs had light blue skin and bronze hair. The hall looked hilarious. The charm had also worked on the teachers, which made for an interesting breakfast.
Draco and Hermione were in hysterics; they had had some pumpkin juice themselves. After all, it was all for a laugh.
"Aw Hermione, I'm green," Harry whined as he looked at his skin, and his best friend giggled.
"I look like Elphaba!" Annie exclaimed.
"What on Merlin's earth is an Elphaba?" Harry asked the girl in amusement.
"A character from a Muggle book, duh," Annie said with a roll of her eyes, "It's the real name of the Wicked Witch of the West in the Wizard of Oz."
"Oh, the one who melts when water is poured onto her," Harry said with a nod, "She had black hair, not silver hair."
"But she had green skin," Annie argued.
"It only lasts for a few hours anyway," Hermione said before an argument could start.
"The gold hair is pretty cool, actually," Sadie said in amusement, "But having red skin is kind of unsettling."
"Unsettling? I look like I have jaundice!" Lilly snorted as she took in her bright yellow skin.
"And I feel like I'm suffocating or something," Susan laughed as she looked at her blue skin.
"See, we play nice pranks that make people laugh," Draco said with a purposeful glare at his friends.
"Yeah, but that was only because Hermione probably said she wouldn't help you unless you made it a nice prank," Harry pointed out as he went back to eating his breakfast.
"Well, yes, that is partly true. My original plan was to make all of the Gryffindors hair fall out..." Draco admitted, he trailed off as he caught Hermione glaring at him.
"Oh yeah, that's so nice," Harry said sarcastically.
Theo smirked and said, "It isn't nice, but it would have been funny!"
Daphne laughed and agreed. Harry and Hermione both rolled their eyes and mumbled simultaneously, "Bloody Slytherins."
Thursday once more passed quietly, and it was fast becoming clear that there seemed to be a day's break in this prank war. After all, it took a day to prepare a really good prank. Friday passed without any pranks too, however. By the time it got to the party planned for Friday night, everybody had forgotten about the prank war.
Harry was away with Daphne getting the butterbeer as usual, and some people were still in the common room, but most people were off doing their pre-party things or whatever it was they did on a Friday night. When Harry and Daphne got to the entrance of the common room Harry got suspicious instantly. He could feel the magic coming from the room, but he wasn't going to stand there and be afraid to enter.
The door opened, and Harry stepped into the common room. As he did so, a voice called out, "Daphne Greengrass!"
Harry frowned and looked around for the source of the voice. Daphne followed him into the common room, and the voice shouted, "Harry Potter!"
"What the hell?" Daphne asked with a frown.
In the corner of the room, Susan and Lilly were chuckling. Harry raised an eyebrow at them and made his way over to them, "What have you two done?"
"Oh, you know, just put a charm on the door," Lilly said with a chuckle.
"What kind of charm?" Daphne asked them curiously.
"One that shouts out the name of the last person you had sex with," Susan admitted with a grin.
Harry and Daphne both chuckled at this initially, but then Harry got serious, "That might not be such a good idea. What if someone's cheating on someone and that reveals it to everyone?"
"Then they shouldn't be cheating in the first place," Susan said simply, a dark look passed through her eyes.
"Susan, nobody deserves that though," Daphne said in a whisper.
Lilly cut in, "It won't. I programmed it so it won't reveal secrets like that. If someone's in a relationship, it will say their partner's name."
"Thanks, Lil," Harry said with a smile.
Lilly nodded, "You are right, Harry. It isn't fair."
As the night went on, the portrait charm became quite amusing, although there weren't many surprises as most people were together. But as the party got going, everybody forgot about the door anyway, so it turned out to be a harmless prank after all.
The pranks didn't stop; in fact, if anything, more people got involved. After the party on Friday night, there was a nice quiet weekend. They were now well into April with the exams coming up in May, so the quiet weekend wasn't exactly fun because it involved spending the whole weekend revising for exams. It wasn't something Harry usually did, but these were the most important exams he was ever going to take, and he really wanted to get the grades he needed so that he didn't get kicked out of Auror training.
The next prank came on Monday morning. Harry and Draco woke up around the same time, and both sleepily got dressed. They didn't even really look at each other until they got close to the door to their dorm.
Both boys yelped in surprise when they saw each other and rushed to a mirror. They were both wearing make-up, and after 30 minutes in the bathroom trying to scrub it off, it was apparent that the make-up wasn't going to budge.
"I bet they all teamed up to do this," Draco said in annoyance as he and Harry made their way downstairs to the common room looking like idiots.
"Who? The girls?" Harry asked, and Draco nodded as they arrived in the common room to discover that Theo and Neville had make-up on too. This only confirmed their suspicions, and the girls gave it away by practically crying with laughter when Draco and Harry emerged into the common room.
"It won't wash off until the end of the day," Sadie choked out through her laughter.
Theo glared at her, "Sadie! How could you do this?"
"Theo, you said it would be funny if all of the Gryffindors turned into snakes," Hermione said as she stood with her arms crossed, "We think you wearing eyeshadow and lipstick is pretty funny."
"This so isn't funny," Harry grumbled, and Draco agreed. They both glared at their girlfriends, who didn't stop laughing. Then they stomped out of the common room only to get laughed at by the portrait of Lily Evans and the Marauders.
The next day another prank team struck. When Harry emerged into the entrance hall, thankfully free of make-up, with Daphne, Draco and Hermione, the group all stopped and stared at what they saw.
Hanging in the middle of the entrance hall was an enlarged and extremely edited version of the picture Dean had taken of Draco teaching Harry how to dance. It was edited to look like Draco was wearing a suit and Harry was wearing a wedding dress, and a large crowd were gathered around laughing at the image.
Draco hid his face in his hands, and Harry hit his head against the wall, "How is anyone going to take us seriously as Aurors?" he asked as he shook his head at the image.
"Shame," A voice teased from behind them. Draco and Harry spun around to see a very smug Theo with an extremely amused Neville lurking next to him.
"Okay, this is taking it a little too far now," Draco said. For the first time, he was offended by a prank, "It was fun before. This is embarrassing and damaging to our future careers."
Theo made a face, "Give it up, Draco. You're just annoyed that we got one over on you."
"No," Harry said, backing Draco up, "This is too far."
Hermione nodded, "Seriously, this really could affect their career; you should take it down."
"We can't," Neville piped up guilty, "It has a sticking charm on it. It will stay there for a week."
Harry sighed and continued through the hall into the great hall for breakfast.
Daphne hurried after him, and Draco irritably remarked, "Nice one Theo."
As he made his way into the hall, Hermione said to the boys, "I know you two were just joking around, but maybe this 'war' should end here. We all know people only get hurt in wars."
Without waiting for a response, she made her way into the great hall and left behind a guilty Neville and a miffed Theo.
Hermione had hoped the pranks would stop there, but they didn't. When she woke up the following day, another prank was on the notice board. It was a list stuck to the board with a sticking charm that detailed Theo's conquests.
Only a few people had seen it before Theo, and when the Slytherin made his way down in the morning and saw a small crowd around the notice board, he did what he usually did, which was push through the crowd to see what they were all looking at, then he saw the list.
The Lucky Ladies!
Susan Bones
Cho Chang
Annie Perks
Sally Smith
Lavender Brown
Megan Jones
Tracey Davis
Pansy Parkinson
Sadie Cauldwell
Theo's eyes widened, and he visibly paled, "Oh…fuck."
"What's so bad about a list of-" Draco fell silent as his eyes fell on the list.
"Draco-" Theo began to say.
"No," Draco said coolly, "That list is in chronological order, Theo."
Theo turned and met his eye. The look there was colder than he had ever seen.
"Pansy is in-between Tracey and Sadie," Draco hissed, "So that happened during the war then? You fucked my girlfriend during the fucking war?"
Theo grimaced at the venom that dripped from his best friends voice, "Draco, it wasn't like that. We thought you were dead. The Carrows told us that you were dead."
Draco laughed humourlessly, "I can't believe this. After everything we went through together? I thought you were my best friend, but the minute I was gone, you fucked my girlfriend. I guess you really are just what everyone else says you are."
Theo scoffed, "No, do you know what? I'm not going to stand by and take that. Nobody knew where they stood with you during the war! We didn't know if you were a good guy or a Death Eater, you were hot, and you were cold, then you fucked off! You fucked off to save Pansy without even asking her what she wanted. You left her; you left us! Then the next thing we knew, you were dead, and I had her crying on my fucking shoulder! You never once thought about my feelings, did you?"
"Your feelings?" Draco hissed.
"My feelings!" Theo snapped, "You were never grateful for anything you had. You had Daphne Greengrass, the hottest girl in the year, but she wasn't good enough for you."
"That wasn't why-"
"No, you're right," Theo said coolly, "She just didn't want to shag a Death Eater anymore, so she moved onto pastures new, and you moved onto Pansy. Never mind the fact that I had feelings for her though, no, because Draco Malfoy does what Draco Malfoy wants."
"It's Draco Black," Draco said coldly.
"Nah," Theo said, he glared at his best friend, "Nah, it's Draco Malfoy because this is the true you. This selfish little prick, this is you showing just how much you really are like your dear old daddy."
Draco whipped his wand out, "Don't you ever compare me to my father!"
He threw a nasty curse at Theo, who blocked it and threw an even nastier one back.
Harry shook his head and walked forward. He thrust both of his hands out, one toward Theo and one towards Draco, "Protego Maxima!"
"Stay the fuck out of this, Potter!" Draco hissed as he threw a curse at Harry.
"No, fucking, way," Neville said, aimlessly throwing up a shield charm to protect Harry, then saying, "Expelliarmus!"
Draco's wand flew into his hand, and Lilly grinned, "Now the apprentice becomes the master."
"Not the right time, Lil," Neville muttered.
Harry was glaring between the two of them, "You two need to grow up. He fucked your girlfriend, but he thought you were dead. Are you really going to kill each other over it, or are you going to talk about it properly, like two men?"
Draco grabbed his wand from Neville and shot a nasty look at Theo, "I will never talk to him again, Potter."
Theo scoffed and holstered his wand, "Fine by me," he said.
Draco turned on his heel and stalked out of the common room. Hermione hurried to her feet and followed him.
Sadie strode over to Theo and said, "For the record, I told you that you should have told him ages ago."
"Sadie, not-"
"Also, for the record," Sadie said, she shoved her engagement ring into his hands, "I asked you several times if you had ever slept with that skank, and you said no! You know I hate her, and I can guarantee you that little bitch," she pointed at a smirking Sally Smith, "Made that list and fucked your life up. She's a nasty little cow, and I told you never to go near her, but you did, and then you lied to me about it, so this isn't happening."
"Sadie-"
"No!" Sadie shouted, and she didn't lose her temper often, so it caught the attention of everyone in the common room, "No, Theo. I will not be the stupid girl who fell for your straight-laced, 'the war reformed me' act and married you. I don't know how naïve you think I am, but you're wrong. It's over, okay?"
"But-"
Sadie shook her head and ran up to the dorm rooms before he could say another word. Daphne dashed up after her friend and Theo well and truly lost it.
He turned to Sally with his eyes burning, "You are a foul, evil, little tramp," he hissed as he advanced on her, "Just because you're a pathetic little waste of space, that doesn't mean the rest of us have to be. You need to stop trying to drag us down to your level because nobody can get that fucking low."
Sally looked genuinely afraid as Theo raised his wand and said an incantation that the others didn't recognise. She cried in pain and covered her face. Then when she moved her hands away, the word 'SKANK' could be read on her forehead, as the word 'SNEAK' had been on Marietta Edgecombe's after she betrayed Dumbledore's Army.
"That charm can only be undone when I forgive you," Theo hissed, "Which I never will, so for the rest of your life, everyone will know what you are."
"Theo," Neville said, he stepped forward, "You've gone too far-"
"No!" Theo snapped, "She went too far! She went too fucking far, Neville!"
Neville grabbed Theo forcefully and dragged him out of the common room. He shoved him into the bathroom next to the common room.
He locked the door and put up a silencing ward, then let go of Theo and said, "Just get it all out."
Theo pulled his wand out and thrust it in the direction of anything ceramic or breakable, "She fucked it up! She fucked it all up! It was fucking dead and buried with Pansy!"
Neville encased himself in a shield charm as bits of glass and sink flew around the room. Theo was losing control of his magic, and Neville knew that could potentially get very dangerous.
"I loved her, Neville!" Theo roared, tears streamed down his face as he lost it, "I loved Pansy before he did, and I would have treated her better than he did! But she never wanted me; she only ever wanted him!"
Neville sighed; he knew how Theo felt. In a sense, they were both the sidekick, and that did suck sometimes.
"If she had just fucking loved me, she wouldn't have died!" Theo cried, "She wouldn't have stepped in front of a curse that should have killed him! But she didn't love me, and I fucking hated her for that Neville!"
Neville didn't say anything; he just let Theo get it all out.
"I FUCKING HATED HER AT THE END!" Theo roared, "But I still cried for days when she died!"
Neville eyed the glass in the windows warily. It had begun to shake, and Theo's hands were beginning to glow faintly. At that point, he raised his wand.
Theo screamed in rage, and the windows all shattered as a blast of magic burst from his body.
Back in the common room, Harry and Lilly talked in undertones about what had just happened when something made them both freeze.
The entire tower shook as if a bomb had gone off. Then a blue wave coursed through the common room, making them all breathe in sharply.
The shaking stopped, and the blue light shimmered for a second then disappeared.
"What the fuck was that?" Lilly asked as she gripped Harry's arm in alarm.
Harry stared at the door to the common room in disbelief, "That was…amazing."
"What?" Lilly snapped.
"That was Neville conjuring a shield charm to counteract a blast of accidental magic so strong; it should have brought this entire tower down," Harry said.
Lilly's eyes widened, "I knew he was more powerful than he let on, but I didn't know he was that good."
Harry smiled, "I did. As much as I take the piss out of him for being my sidekick, he's brilliant, and I'd be happy to be his sidekick any day."
"Don't tell him that; he'll cry," Lilly said with a chuckle.
"Ah, I'll save it for my best man speech," Harry joked. He got to his feet and patted her on the shoulder, "I'm just going to check if he's okay."
* ~ TBC ~ *