Bring Me To Life – A Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel Crossover Event

Part 52

Monster

Ever since I could remember

Everything inside of me

Just wanted to fit in (oh, oh, oh, oh)

I was never one for pretenders

Everything I tried to be

Just wouldn't settle in (oh, oh, oh, oh)

If I told you what I was

Would you turn your back on me?

And if I seem dangerous

Would you be scared?

I get the feeling just because

Everything I touch isn't dark enough

If this problem lies in me

I'm only a man with a candle to guide me

I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me

A monster, a monster

I've turned into a monster

A monster, a monster

And it keeps getting stronger

"Monster", Imagine Dragons

The Deeper Well—Deep in the Bowels of the Earth

Now

POW!

The force of the punch was staggering, and Angel went stumbling backwards over a barrel, tumbling painfully onto the ground.

As he stared up into the arrogant, leering gaze of his demonic alter ego, Angel realized two things in an instant.

First, he hated these ratty clothes he was wearing. The stinky, stained green jacket, the dirt-soiled khaki pants, the worn-out sneakers with the holes in them...a representation of the darkest, lowest period of his life, when for 20 years, he shut himself away from the world. Living off rats, hiding in a sewer, so shaken and ashamed for feeding off that dead donut shop clerk that was murdered by a robber before his eyes that he decided from then on to never again even let himself near another human. Living among scum and vermin, where a murderous, useless wretch like him belonged, he told himself for so long.

Second...that punch hurt.

A LOT.

A lot more than it should have, in fact.

His vision was already starting to double and everything felt off-kilter as he tried to regain his balance. Angel hadn't taken that long to recover from a punch since...well, since the night he went hunting for the Mohra demon years ago, around the time he was…

...when I was human, Angel realized as his eyes went wide in realization.

Angelus chuckled off the shocked look on Angel's face. "Yeah...starting to sink in, isn't it, moron?" the master vampire sneered...right before he hopped up and nailed Angel in the jaw with a jump kick that knocked him across the alley into another wall.

Angel groaned, tasting the blood in his mouth as he staggered to his feet. Typical of himself, Angelus stalked slowly towards the one being he hated most of all—that annoying friggin' soul that was Angel—in no hurry at all. Savoring the moment, Angel could tell. He knew his damned demon had waited for this for a long time, that brief tussle they had weeks ago when he and Faith were inside of his mind trying to restore Angel after his soul was stolen notwithstanding.

There was no Faith here this time. No Buffy. No friends. No Beastmaster pulling the strings or games from The First Evil. It was just the two of them now.

Angel and Angelus.

Light and Dark.

Good and Evil.

Right and Wrong.

Only Thunderdome rules applied: two men enter, one man leaves.

"Aww, what's a matter, champ? Legs feeling a little rubbery? Have ya not been hitting the ol' punching bag hard enough?" Angelus gleefully taunted. He folded his hands behind his back. "Tell ya what, Angel...free shot. Take a swing, hard as you can. I won't even block it, ut make sure it's a good one, because if it's not—"

CRACK!

No sooner had he said that did Angel slam his fist straight into Angelus's nose. The blow brushed the demon back, and Angel felt a brief sense of satisfaction...right before his hand began to burn and ache in pain. Something that shouldn't have happened to him normally. Such a blow was nothing, normally.

Something wasn't right here, and Angel knew it...and he knew it well before Angelus looked back up at him, his vampiric face smiling evilly, seemingly unscrathed from the blow.

"...then it's gonna cost you. Big time," Angelus grinned darkly…

POW!

...right before he belted Angel with a vicious right cross that launched Angel into the air and bouncing off a wall right back onto the ground. Dazed, Angel coughed violently, his body aching all over, spitting out the blood that was rapidly pooling in his mouth, his heart beating wildly, his skull on fire…

Angel's eyes widened. Wait...heart beating?

"Look at it this way, Angel," Angelus smirked as he hovered over Angel, looking down on him with disdain. "You always wanted to be one of them again, right? Being human? Well...how does that old saying go again?"

The legendary dark fiend then violently stomped down hard on Angel's hand, delighting in the pained yell that came from Angel's mouth and the grinding and snapping of bones under his heel.

"Oh, that's right!" His eyes darkened with malice, smiling evilly at the wounded Angel. "Be careful what you wish for."

Sunnydale, California—Summers Residence, Living Room— 11:19 a.m.

Days Left Before the End of Days: 14

"We have to go back and get her!" Fred pleadingly insisted.

"How, Fred?" Buffy wearily asked. "You were there. You saw how loaded up Caleb was with that posse of his. Going back there without a plan would be suicide."

"So, you're saying we do nothing, is that it?" Gunn said, accusingly. "Faith went and stuck her neck out on the line for us time and time again. Hell, if it wasn't for Faith, Angelus would still be on the loose killing God knows how many people! And you're cool with just leaving her there in The First's lair with that fake-ass preacher and his Manson family?"

"Gunn, that's not what I'm saying," Buffy tersely bit out. "God, I want to get her back just as much as you do. But we have to be smart about this, or we'll just end up in bodybags like the people we lost last night!"

Gunn bristled at that, throwing his hands up as he paced while Fred tried to calm him down, leaving Buffy finding herself clenching her teeth in an effort to reign in her own volatile feelings. Angel had warned Buffy that Gunn had a temper, and while it did little to cow her, Buffy did find it grating on her nerves right now when she needed everyone to stay calm.

And she was rapidly finding that task to become more and more difficult as she looked around the room at some of her allies.

"Oh, sure, now we're being careful, it's not like we couldn't have used a little of that yesterday, was it?" Gunn groused angrily.

Buffy finally snapped. "Okay, fine! I admit it, Gunn. I screwed up last night. I-I-I made an emotional decision, I wasn't careful enough and people paid for it. Is that what you want to hear? You don't need to remind me of what we lost, okay? I see them. All of them! Dianne, Matthew, the kids in Rondell's crew, Xande…."

She stopped, a lump forming in her throat at the thought of Xander, barely able to say his name. Buffy took a deep breath, composing herself. "I haven't been able to see anything else since last night. I close my eyes and there they are. I almost added my sister to that body count. Believe me, I understand what happened back there. And that's why I'm not rushing back in there to lose anyone else without a plan that involves getting us in and getting us out in one piece."

Wesley sighed. "I'm afraid I have to agree with Buffy," the former Watcher said gravely. "We never should have gone in there last night. As we found out, Caleb is a great deal more powerful than we were led to believe. And we still know very little about him. Those files that we retrieved from Lindsey are going to take some time to sort through for clues about him. Without that knowledge, walking back into the vineyard is nothing short of suicide."

He took a deep breath, looking briefly at a pensive Darla and a fretful Fred before he returned his somber gaze to the group. "We might well have to resign ourselves to the idea that...we might not be able to save Faith this time."

From downstairs, a guttural, pained scream could be heard that startled the group.

Spike, Buffy realized in guilt and horror. He must have heard that. That super-hearing from vampires was nothing to mess with.

Fred looked at Buffy, a look of dread on her pretty face. "You don't think he…?"

"Heard that? Yeah...yeah, he probably did," Buffy swallowed, looking away guiltily.

Giles looked at Buffy gravely, cleaning his glasses. "I'm still not certain chaining Spike up was the wisest course of action, Buffy. We'll have to let him loose sometime. The longer we leave him there, the less he's inclined to trust any of us."

Buffy eyed Giles warily. "Says the guy who tried to have him killed a couple of weeks back."

Robin frowned at that, looking away for a moment. He was the one who talked Giles into that plan, vengeance for Spike killing his mother. He didn't regret it. The only thing Robin regretted was that he didn't finish the job when he had the chance because Robin was too wrapped up in his speeches and his desire to make Spike suffer to simply plunge a stake in that asshole's dead heart.

Yet to his consternation, he found himself sharing Spike's sentiments. Leaving Faith, a Slayer just like his mother was, to die after she gave everything she had for this fight didn't sit well with him at all.

Giles gave Buffy a mild glare off that reminder. Buffy didn't flinch, glared right back. "Giles, you saw him last night. Every chance he got, Spike tried to make a beeline to the vineyard without thinking it through. I'm not letting him run off to get killed at a time when we need everything we can get to throw at The First while it's trying to pick us off like fish in a barrel."

Darla shook her head, frustrated. "No...no, we can't just leave Faith there. There's got to be something we can do about this."

Buffy sighed, tiredly. "Believe me, Darla, I'm open to suggestions. But without a real plan, we'd just be going back in there to die. You weren't there. The few of us were lucky to make it out of there alive."

"What about magick?" Lorne helpfully suggested as he looked at Buffy. "I know Willow's batteries are running low, Vanilla Lemon Drop, but maybe there's something we can use without our resident Charmed One."

Buffy considered it. "I don't know, Lorne. Willow's still pretty much our biggest muscle with magick. And even if she was up to it, The First has Amy on its side. Far as I can tell, that girl's every bit as strong as Willow. It'd take a hell of an abracadabra to counter her mojo."

"Maybe...but she's not our only muscle," Darla looked at Buffy, her eyes determined. "I don't know exactly what The Beastmaster whammied me with, but whatever it is, it's strong. And Wesley and Giles aren't exactly strangers to magick. Maybe if we put our heads together, we can come up with a solution."

Buffy's brow scrunched in thought. "Okay, I like where your head's at, but what could we do? I mean, I'm no Harry Potter, but I don't think one spell's gonna get the job done."

"Maybe not," Wesley said, the gears in his mind whirring. "But a multitude of spells might."

"A distraction," Giles caught on. "Something to divert their attention."

"And you're sure you can pull that off?" Gunn asked.

"It might be possible. With coordination and the right plan. But there's still much we don't know about the layout of that place. We'd have to know exactly where they're keeping Faith, how many of them are down there and time it accordingly," Giles said. "It would have to be a stealth mission. Too many numbers might jeopardize Faith's safety."

"Assuming she's still alive," Anya said tactlessly, earning a glare from most of the group.

Buffy ran a hand down her face as she took it all in. "Look, if you can get all these plans together quickly, I'm open to looking into a rescue mission, but nothing happens before I vet it."

She pursed her lips together. "And nobody is letting Spike out of that basement until that happens."

Fred was startled by that order. "Buffy—!"

"No, Fred, I don't want to hear it," Buffy said tersely. "I know Spike a lot better than you do. He's not going to let this go. He...he blames me for what happened to Faith. And…" Buffy's eyes fell, guilt etched in them. "And he's right. But I can't let him do something stupid and get himself killed trying to undo my mistake. Without Angel here, it's bad enough, and we're low on muscle as it is. I'm not losing anyone else to that place if I can help it. So Spike stays chained up until we can figure out if there's a way we can get Faith out of there."

Buffy's eyes were resolute. "End of discussion."

Unaware to anyone…

...listening to every word of that from just outside the room…

...was a quiet, shocked Andrew.

And he didn't like what he heard.

Not at all.

The Deeper Well—Deep in the Bowels of the Earth

Now

Angel coughed as each of Angelus's fists connected with his stomach, ribs and chin. He was faster than he thought. He was stronger, too.

And Angel's suddenly-human reflexes were just not cutting it against the unrestrained, unsouled version of himself, the demon known for decades as "The Scourge of Europe."

"You remember being inside that box, Angel? When that creepy bastard kid of ours chucked you to the bottom of the sea for a whole summer?" Angelus sneered as he viciously brought his knee into Angel's temple, knocking him to the ground in a dazed heap.

"Picture that...but for a hundred years," Angelus growled, his dark eyes growing black in hatred. "A hundred. Freaking. YEARS! Trapped inside that thick, retarded skull of yours, hearing your boring morality play, whining and moping about your guilt. Having to watch you in my body eating off rats, living like a bum on a crack addiction, letting all those juicy humans pass by without taking a drop of their blood...and then falling for a freakin' Slayer, of all things! I mean, sure, who wouldn't want to tap that? But let's be honest...it was all just about hoping she'd wake up one day, see you for the garbage you are and then taking a stake and putting you out of your misery. Wasn't it, Rat Boy?"

With a vicious kick to the ribs, Angelus sent the fallen Angel sailing into another wall. Angel groaned and coughed out blood as he rolled over to his stomach, his vision blurry and doubled.

"And not being able to do a damned thing about it," Angelus said, his eyes narrowing as he honed in on Angel's struggling form. "A hundred years, Angel. That's a long time. I think I've imagined killing you about a thousand different ways in that time. Ten thousand, maybe. Every time I thought I couldn't top myself, boom! Another horrible death popped into my head. Amazing what hating you inspires me to do. Maybe I should flay you, like Willow did to that Warren kid. But it'd be a waste to damage my own gorgeous face. Don't worry, though. I can still get very creative."

Geez, did I really talk that much when I was an evil prick? Angel mused in annoyance. Angelus was so busy talking that he didn't notice Angel's hand slowly drifting over to where a discarded wooden plank lay on the ground. Gritting his teeth, Angel channeled his strength into his legs, waited for his moment…

...and then swung the beam violently upwards, connecting with Angelus's stomach. The master vampire doubled over in pain, allowing Angel an opportunity to press his advantage. He swung again, connecting with the crown of Angelus's head as Angel sent his evil alter ego stumbling backwards.

Shaking off the blow, Angelus laughed. "Woah there, slugger! So you have some life left in you. I'd have to give you 10 points for effort.."

Angel angrily swung the beam at the demon again, but this time, Angelus was ready for him. Ducking swiftly, Angelus grinned evilly.

"But minus 15 for stupidity," he smirked before he caught the beam, headbutted Angel, grabbed him by the front of his tattered coat and threw him across the alley, sending Angel skidding into another batch of barrels.

"So, what did you expect when you turned human again, eh, Angel?" Angelus crowed in his typically arrogant tone, shaking his head as he chuckled at Angel's suffering. "Did you think about going for picnics? Getting a tan? Eating more cookie dough fudge mint chip ice cream? Loads of porking the brains out of a certain little blonde in Sunnydale with one of the sweetest asses this side of the Pacific?"

POW!

His boot connected with Angel's skull in a vicious kick that sent Angel's head backwards as he rolled onto his side in pain.

"Guess getting beaten violently to death never crossed your mind, did it, moron?"

No, Angel silently admitted to himself. It didn't.

Angel almost laughed at the irony, but the ache in his battered ribs wouldn't let him. For so long, being human again was all Angel had dreamed about. He had only had it for a day years ago, but oh, what a day it was. Sunlight. Ice cream. Buffy. Making love to Buffy. It had been everything he'd ever wanted.

This, however, was exactly the reason why he gave it all up. As much as Angel hated the demon inside him, its power helped him to do good. Save lives. And protect the people he loved from monsters like the creature standing above him, the embodiment of everything Angel hated about himself, all of his failures.

"You know, sometimes, I think you're the soul that was put into me. That that's all you are...just a soul, nothing more. So desperate to get back to that big puppy haven in the sky. But I'll let you in on a little secret, Boy Scout. This whole Shoeshine-Shanshu crap you've been chasing? The desperate idea of redemption that keeps you getting out of bed every day? All one big crock of shit," Angelus chuckled coldly.

He sneered down at the wounded Angel, rubbing it in further. "You really think saving a couple of those worthless meatbags will undo all the things you and I did? The lives we destroyed? That's never going to change. The things you did, that I did? There's no undoing that. No matter how many times you save Buffy, it doesn't change the fact that you killed her Watcher's little Gypsy tart technogeek girlfriend. No matter how many kids you save, it doesn't bring back the ones we ate. There's no washing that much blood out of your chronicles, boy-o, no matter how good a boy you are now. We're monsters, Angel. You should have just accepted it. Reveled in it. Basked in it! Why fight what we really are?"

"Screw you," Angel coughed out, struggling to get to his knees.

"Ah, there it is," Angelus chuckled. "Do the ol' Rocky Balboa, champ! Never say die, it ain't over 'till it's over, right? But what did that attitude ever get ya besides being a punching bag for whatever Beastie of the Week you and the other idiots you surround yourself with keep trying to take down? As much as you hate me, and believe me, the feeling's more than mutual, buddy...you don't even understand how much you've needed me. My gifts. Mine! Who were you before me, huh? Some drunk, lazy, skirt-chasing dipshit on a fast track to dying of syphilis and shaming your family name? I gave us guidance, I gave us direction. Everything you are today….all me. The strength, the senses, the speed...me. The cunning, the drive that makes everyone look at you as a leader...me. The fear that makes humans and demons tremble at your name...ME!"

His leg shot out and caught Angel in the side of the head, slinging him backwards and onto the ground again.

Angelus sneered, "Is it sinking in yet, Soul Man? Huh? Are you getting it now? You're nothing without me!"

From the ground, Angel looked up, scowled at his demon…

...and then smiled. Through blood-caked teeth, he grinned at Angelus in a way that irritated the sinister vampire. "Yeah...I get it. You're right. About most of it. You are a part of me. I've been fighting it for so long, but I guess I've always known. You and I...are one."

Angel slowly rose to his feet. Clutching his aching ribs, cuts all over his bruising face. Yet his soulful brown eyes shone in clarity. "But in between the concussions and bruises from now and all the yapping you've been doing, something dawned on me...it's still my house. I wasn't born a demon. I was a man. With a soul. Yeah, I wasn't a very good man, hell, there are days where I still don't feel like I'm what everyone thinks or wants me to be. But still, I was here first. I might not be able to beat you one-on-one like this. But you could beat me to death and you still won't be anything more than just a crazy ghost in my brain. You're not running the show here, Angelus. You only have as much power over me as I give you. And you know what, douchebag? I'm done giving you anything else."

Angelus growled, his anger overtaking him as he shifted into vampire face.

Yet Angel merely shook his head and smiled, holding out his hands as he beckoned the demon to him. "You want to change that? Come on...go ahead and do something about it."

His face contorted in fury, Angelus charged him...only for Angel to throw his full body weight towards the demon's legs, sending a surprised Angelus tumbling over him and to the ground. Angel quickly wrapped his arm around his demon's neck and grabbed another arm with his free hand, ignoring Angelus's growls and struggles.

Angel gritted his teeth through the effort as he eyed the demon sternly. "You might be a part of me...but only one part. It's my life, my rules, and my house. You're just a guest in it. And guess what, jackass? I'm sending you to your room."

Suddenly, Angelus's eyes began to glow a brilliant white, a searing hot pain exploding through him. He could feel it. His worst fear, being shut back inside again, back into the darkness. Back into his own personal hell...being trapped inside Angel. Forever. "No...not again...NOOO!"

Angel's eyes began glowing white at the same time, the two beings warping and twisting together…

...until at last…there was only…

...Angel.

Coughing, Angel rolled to his side. "And no supper," Angel laughed weakly, briefly enjoying the satisfaction of his victory over his accursed demon.

He still ached, but it was considerably less painful. His heartbeat, something that briefly brought him a sense of fleeting joy, was gone now. His hands were cold once again, holding the chill of a dead man. But more importantly…

...he couldn't hear Angelus's voice in his head anymore.

Angel could feel him, but his presence was practically muted. There was a quiet inside of him that he hadn't heard in centuries.

He didn't have much time to muse on what that meant before another glowing door opened in the distance. The fourth and final trial, he realized.

Ignoring the aches in his legs and ribs, Angel slowly stood up, staggered onwards until he reached the gate and walked through it…

...which led him to a large, white hallway.

Alert as ever, Angel looked around at his surroundings.

Behind him, two doors. One sealed, one open, the latter glowing in a soft yellow light.

And before him...Hope's Dagger.

The weapon of the Champion. A large, glittering Claymore sword, its handle designed ornately, its blade engraved with the latin words "Pro Victor et Unicus Victor", or "For the Champion and Only the Champion." Encased in a crystallized, shimmering rock. Looking all King Arthur-y. And it was there for the taking.

One problem—the stone was squarely in the center of the room, bathed in sunlight.

Sunlight, one of the few things that was fatal to vampires.

"Oh, great. Wouldn't want to make this too easy," Angel grumbled.

Angel didn't like the options he had. He could try to jump for it, but he'd have to smash the stone in one hard blow, grab the sword and leap to safety to the shadows ahead, but that stone didn't look like it had much give, and Angel knew he wasn't strong enough to break it all before the sunlight burned him to ashes. He could try and knock the stone over into the shadows, but he wasn't sure he could do it without being incinerated. And there didn't look to be anything he could use around him to try prying the stone down from where he was.

His options were few, and time was limited. And the way it was looking, Angel realized, he couldn't see any way to get the dagger without dying in the process.

"Don't."

A soft voice called to him, making him turn around.

To see the owner of that voice.

Someone he loved.

Someone he was beginning to think he would never see again. Standing there, in a soft, long billowing white dress with spaghetti straps, her golden hair piled in a bun, staring at him with sad, pleading green-hazel eyes that always enthralled him.

Angel felt his throat tighten, his voice a hoarse whisper.

"Buffy…"

To Be Continued...

Next: Angel must choose—happiness with Buffy, or certain death to reach Hope's Dagger?

To free Faith, Spike might have to rely on the most unlikely of all allies...Dawn and—Andrew?

Tensions come to a head between Buffy and Dawn. And The First makes a move that will rock Sunnydale to its core…

More to come soon!

FYI, to those who have asked me: yes, I am double-posting this story on other sites. No, I am not abandoning this story here, this is still my primary posting location, I'm just expanding my audience to people who might not have seen the story. (Spread the word! lol)

-Jean-theGuardian