He would never stop kissing this woman. Petra made inviting little whimpers as he claimed her mouth over and over. Fuck, it was paradise. She was so warm in his arms, and her lips were soft. When he opened his eyes and saw her near, he felt something unknot inside of his chest. There she was. His Petra. His wife.
In a world without titans. A world where she could be safe. Where they could be together.
How the fuck had he earned this?
"Levi," she murmured.
"I'm home." He kissed her. "I'm never leaving you again, brat."
She giggled.
"Ahem."
Rico was standing next to them with her arms crossed. At the register, a couple of women gawked at the happy couple.
"Sorry, Rico." Petra disengaged from Levi.
"Hmm." The woman kept scowling. Guess not much had changed in this world.
"She's my wife," Levi said, holding Petra close.
"I thought you two just met."
"We work fast."
"He's been gone a while." Petra wrapped an arm around his waist. The nearness thrilled him, until a sudden thought seized his brain.
"Shit. The kids!" he hissed. "Where are they?"
"You must've been gone a real long time," Rico deadpanned.
"I'm so sorry to ask, but since I'm off in fifteen minutes anyway—"
"Fine. Clock out. But I don't want to see this," Rico said, gesturing vaguely at Levi, "ever again."
Did she mean the kissing, or just him? Levi was tempted to snap, tell this woman she had to respect a superior officer…only she didn't. Rico was no soldier, and neither was he.
He was a janitor. Huh.
"Wait here." Petra kissed his cheek, rushed to the back room for a minute, then rushed out with her jacket. "They're across the street, in the park."
Levi ran out of the store, barely looked both ways before hurrying across the street. His breath quickened as he scanned the benches and trees, the jungle gym. He would search every inch of the damn park if he had to.
His reawakening was strange. Three different lives jumbled around in his head right now. There was this world's Levi, whose history faded more and more as the minutes ticked by. There was the real Levi, the true Levi, who had only said goodbye to his wife and children mere days ago.
But there was also the Levi who had lived for forty years without his family. He still wasn't sure how much time had passed in this world—since Petra looked the same age, probably not a lot. But he had spent a lifetime without them.
Fuck, he wasn't gonna start crying. He couldn't.
"Papa!"
Kuchel came tearing over to him, already sobbing. When he thought of how yesterday he'd shoved her off gruffly, he couldn't stand it. Levi opened his arms and caught his baby, spinning her around and around. She hugged him and cried.
"Sorry, kid. I'm so sorry." He kissed her forehead, squeezed her tight. "My baby girl. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you."
"Papa." She sobbed, those big, heaving sobs of relief. He squeezed her, would never let her go. "Don't ever leave me again."
He remembered when he came 'back from the dead' when she was three years old. The way she'd sobbed, begged him not to leave. Tears burned his eyes.
"I can make you this promise," he whispered. "I'm never picking up another sword or gun. I'm never leaving you behind ever again. I'm home now."
Kuchel whimpered.
"Papa!" Oruo launched himself, clinging to Levi's leg like a barnacle. He let go of Kuchel to lift his son into the air. The boy's face was all lit up. He wasn't a huggy kid with anyone but his mother, but Oruo hugged Levi tight around the neck. Even gave him a couple kisses. "I missed you!"
"Missed you so much, little man." Levi hugged, kissed him, and ruffled the boy's wild hair.
"Hi, Uncle Levi."
Armin was standing a few feet off, a shy smile on his face. His shoulders were hunched, and he dug the toe of his sneaker into the earth. Kid never wanted to presume. He'd die if he tried for a hug and was rejected. Levi understood that only too well. He put Oruo down.
"Oi." He opened his arms. "Come here."
The little blond boy's whole expression shifted. He giggled with glee as he ran over and hugged Levi hard around the middle. Levi ruffled the kid's hair, absolutely thrilled to see him.
"Papa." Kuchel gaped. "You look so different!"
"Huh?" He let go of Armin as Petra came to his side and wrapped her arm around his waist.
"You look the same as you did the day we first got together in Mitras." She smiled, the afternoon light painting her beautiful face in gleaming, golden hues. He kissed the sunlight on her lips.
"How the hell's that work?" he whispered. Not that he minded being in his mid thirties again, physically speaking.
"It's complicated. Very complicated." She kissed his cheek. "I hope it doesn't bother you that we're the same age now."
Shit, that was right. His wife had completely caught up to him.
"Hmm. Not sure how I feel about it." He tried to look like he meant it, but she kissed him until he smiled. "Eh, I kinda like it."
"Can we get ice cream, Mama?" Oruo tugged at his mother's skirt. Armin bounced up and down next to Kuchel, happy to see his family reunited. Yeah. The family was together again.
They would always be, from this day on.
"It's a little early for dinner. How about we play on the swings a bit, then we can go to Joe's for a burger? It's Friday, after all." Petra smiled at her cheering children. Kuchel hung on Levi's arm as the Ackermans took their time wandering around the park. Levi watched his children play and sat on the bench and held his wife. He knew he should ask more questions about how and why and when and how, but holding her again was too much of a fucking delight.
Petra giggled about nothing in particular. She kissed him. She brushed her nose against his, a gesture that sent such a shock wave of memory through him. Levi almost fucking lost it.
"How long has it been since we saw each other?" he croaked.
"For me it's been almost two weeks." Tears shimmered in her eyes. "How long were you on Paradis?"
"Forty years."
Her face crumpled. He held her tight as she buried herself against his shoulder.
"I'm sorry it took so long," she whispered.
"It's strange. It feels like it was forever, but also no time at all." He kissed the crown of her head. God, her hair smelled fantastic. "And why the hell are you sorry? Something tells me if it wasn't for you, our kids wouldn't exist anymore and we wouldn't be here."
"I knew it was risky." She sniffled and took his hand. She kissed the tips of his fingers one by one. "But I couldn't let our story end like that. I couldn't let the kids disappear." She kissed his palm. Her lips were so soft and sweet. "You gave up everything for the world. I wanted you to have a reward." Her chin quivered. "Are…are you upset?"
"Are you insane? How could I be?"
She sighed. "Because in our old world, you were a king. Now you're a janitor."
"Did you choose that job for me?" he joked, kissing her cheek. "Damn fine choice."
She bit her lip. "I'm sure you could try something new, if you don't like it…"
"I clean things all day. I get paid to wash the floors. It's the perfect job." He meant it. He cradled her face in his hands. "I was a thug, and a soldier, and a hero, and then a king. But all I ever really wanted to be was your husband. The kids' father. I'm happier as a damn janitor than I ever would've been wearing a damn crown."
She beamed, which melted his heart.
"I'm glad."
"By the way, Hange and Erwin. Did they come with us? Or were they already here?"
"I, er, 'resurrected' everyone I could think of. Including Hange. And Erwin."
"They don't seem to remember what happened to us." He frowned. "Will they?"
"I don't know." She shrugged, looked kind of lost. "When I found you in the old timeline and then came here, I realized that I'd left a piece of my Founder with you. It's hard to explain, but it was what helped you find your way home to us."
"I know what you mean." The blue path in the darkness.
"I knew the instant you arrived because I felt the power leave." She stared at her palms, as if picturing it. "But when you didn't recognize Kuchel, I was scared that we might not be able to get you back."
Levi slid his fingers through her hair.
"You pulled me back to you," he said softly. His thumb stroked her cheek, the corner of her mouth. Every inch of him adored her. "You saved me, Pet. You saved our kids. Our world."
She sighed, blissful.
"We saved them all." Tears glinted in her eyes as she beheld him. "If you hadn't given everything up, none of this could have happened. Because of your selflessness, Levi, reality is still here." She giggled with the absurdity of it. "You're probably the greatest hero who ever lived."
"Nah. I'm just a thug piece of shit." He pulled her to him, kissed her lips. He would never get tired of kissing them. "You convinced me to give it all up, and then you saved me. You're the hero, you brat."
"Maybe we both can be." She kissed the tip of his nose. Levi only vaguely recalled they were in a public park. Fuck it. He had crossed the very boundary of reality to find this woman again. PDA was bullshit.
"Is this real?" he whispered. "Fuck, is this paradise?"
"Paradise Valley, yes," she teased. "You're not dead. You've got another forty or fifty years to look forward to. With me." Her brow creased in concern. "Is that all right? If we count the life you left behind, that's so many years… God, just thinking about it makes my head spin."
"I'd live eighteen lives just to live one with you, Petra," he growled. He kissed her cheek, nibbled her jaw. He loved the rapturous little sighs she gave. "We're gonna grow old here. See our grandkids. All the happy, boring shit I never thought I'd get a chance to have."
"I'd love that."
She kissed his lips. He held her close, felt her heart against his.
"Mama! Papa!" Kuchel raced over, tugging Oruo along by his hand. Levi's son growled like a feral animal. His little guy. "We're hungry. Can we go get burgers now?"
"Let's go." Petra stood and held out her hand for his. "What do you say, Papa?"
He rose and clasped his wife's hand, held it tight.
"Lead the way."
They walked across the park and back into town, Kuchel squeezing Levi's other arm while the boys danced around in front of them, jumping up and down and waving their arms, telling one wild story after another. Levi hugged his wife close as they saw a neon sign up ahead, Joe's Diner.
"I wanna Root Beer!" Oruo shouted. He burped in defiance.
"Can I have an orange soda, Mama?" Armin gave Petra sweet, shy eyes. Oruo shoved him.
"Be nice!" Petra clucked. She stroked her son's hair. "Of course, angel."
As the kids cheered and as Kuchel yelled at Oruo, Levi opened the door to the diner and let his family through. The place smelled like French fries and cooking grease. The black and white tiled floors squeaked beneath their shoes as the waitress led them to a booth. Levi winced at the creak and sigh of the plastic seats. This place could've been cleaner.
Granted, he always felt that way about everything.
As they all looked at the laminated menus, Levi leaned closer to his wife.
"So we're the only ones who remember life before…?"
"That could change, but I'd be glad if it doesn't." She smiled. "Now that you're here, we're going to have to figure out what to do with Erwin, for Armin's sake."
"That was a real risk you took, bringing him along."
She blushed. "I had a gut feeling that everything would be different. He didn't seem to remember what we left behind. He wasn't the same person."
"Nah. He and Hange are the way they always should've been," he said quietly. Without titans and trauma, Hange was purely happy and wacky, and Erwin didn't have to become some great god of a man. They were ordinary people. Curious, optimistic. The best versions of themselves.
"That doesn't mean there weren't some surprises," she murmured.
"What do you mean?"
Petra lowered her voice. "I'm pretty sure I saw Zeke around."
"Jaeger?" Levi almost spat his ice water. "Why'd you bring him along?"
"I didn't! Some version of him seems to have already been here!" She did look a little disturbed as she went into it. "I saw Yelena, too. And she's not even Eldian."
Levi's head began to hurt just imagining all this shit. "So there's some overlap between the us in some other random world and the one we came from?" This was Hange-level bullshit. He wasn't equipped to deal with this much abstract…stuff. "Fuck, what if there's two of me walking around?"
"I'm pretty sure I would've seen you by now."
The way she said it made Levi pause. "You seen any doubles of anybody else?"
Petra gnawed at her lip; she looked kind of pale, actually. "I think I saw myself," she whispered.
"What?"
"It was me, but young. Like twenty-one years old. And I looked, ugh, very trashy." His wife winced. "I was wearing a miniskirt, and I had a nose ring."
"There's a twenty-one year old you out there in a miniskirt?" Levi had to fight a smile as Petra slugged him in the arm.
"I'm not looking for her. Just…if you see her, keep all that in mind."
"Even if she's cute, she ain't you." Levi hooked his arm around his wife and nibbled at her neck. Petra cuddled close to him. "Look. Let's just agree that we're all safe and together. Whatever weird shit you pulled with the Founder to get this reality, I'm willing to not think about it too hard." He looked at Kuchel as she gave Armin a big hug and kicked Oruo when he tried to lick her hand. "It's selfish of me, but I'm happy. Finally happy. I think I've earned the right to be."
Petra nodded and kissed him. "We all have."
And that was all he wanted to talk about on that subject. Levi settled in for a dinner with his family. Hopefully the first of hundreds. Thousands.
Even though he was hungry, he could barely eat. He was too damn thrilled to look at his children, at his wife. Kuchel and the boys got hamburgers and fries, and Kuchel yelled at Oruo when he blew bubbles in his Root Beer. Levi was in the mood to spoil them, and let them get a giant ice cream sundae to share. Throughout dinner, he listened to what they'd been up to in the two weeks (to them) that they'd been parted. They were in the middle and elementary schools in town. Kuchel wanted to sign up for soccer. Oruo had already gotten in trouble with the principal. Armin loved art class.
Petra worked part time at the bookstore, and her parents and siblings lived just outside of town. They were all together. Brigitta and Edvard…
"And Oswald?" Levi couldn't believe what he was hearing. Brigitta's son. The dead one.
"He was in PATHS." Petra looked soft with relief as she ate her salad. "Gitta doesn't remember anything that happened in our old life. They have a perfect little family." He caught a glint of tears. "The way they always should have been."
"Life's not fair," Levi murmured. He cupped her cheek in his hand. "But you made it as fair as possible."
"It was nice, being a goddess for a while." She kissed his cheek, and for some reason this kiss sent heat through him. He realized he was desperate for her touch. The happy shock had worn off, and now he was hungry.
Starving, really.
"Say, this brave new world come with real estate?" he asked.
"Yes, we have a house." She laughed to see his delight. "Like I said. Being able to bend reality to my will had its perks."
"And we live with Grandma!" Kuchel beamed.
"Nice. Ingrid doing okay?" he asked, then frowned. "Pieter's not with you?"
Petra's eyes widened. "Oh. That's right, you wouldn't know."
Levi frowned. "Pet, what…?"
His voice died. His brain seemed to short out for a second. He stared at his wife, waited to see if she'd tell him he was crazy just for thinking it.
"You didn't," he muttered.
"Come on." She took his hand. "Let's go. She should be home by now."
He barely heard his children as they laughed and skipped around him. He barely felt Petra's hand in his as they turned down a few residential streets until they stopped outside of a two-story whitewashed house. There was a brick pathway that led to the door, and flowerbeds on either side. THE ACKERMANS was stenciled on a mailbox. A straw mat said WELCOME at the top of the porch.
Levi's heart pounded as Petra took out a ring of keys to unlock the door. Someone else beat them to it. The door swung open, and a woman stood before them. Her face lit up.
"Levi!"
It was her voice.
"Mom?" he croaked.
Kuchel Ackerman—the first Kuchel Ackerman—was standing in that doorway wearing a gigantic smile. She was his mother, with the same eyes and jawline, but older than his mother had ever gotten to be. This was a sixty year old grandmother with a bun of silver and black hair, with laugh lines at her eyes and bracketing her mouth.
It couldn't be.
But when his mother hugged him, he smelled the orange blossoms. She'd loved that bottle of scent, and had used it every day. 'It's my little pick me up' she'd told Levi when he was four. 'It makes me happy.'
She smelled of orange blossoms, and his eyes filled with tears. It was her. Somehow.
"Mom?" Levi's face scrunched up; he was not gonna turn into a sobbing wreck in front of his wife and children and, God help him, his mother. But she hugged him tight and rubbed his back in a little circle, just as she'd done when he was a child. When he was a kid, all he'd dreamed of was this moment, but he'd known it could never be.
Maybe he'd actually lost his mind.
"Sweetheart, what is it?" His mother petted his cheek. Her palms were soft. She'd always had soft, cool hands.
"Nothing," he croaked. Levi fought against the emotion. Fortunately, he was too stunned to cry much. "When did you…? I mean, why are you…?"
"We're not going to start this again." His mother pursed her lips together. "With you and Petra both working, it's good to have somebody at home when the kids come back from school. I know my moving in is taking up some of your space, but—"
"You can move in." He gripped her arms. "You can stay forever."
Levi felt ready to faint as his mother hugged him again. He could feel her heart beating. When he was four years old, he'd woken next to her lifeless body and pressed his head to her chest. There had been nothing. That's when he'd known for real that she was dead.
But here she was. Alive.
"Papa?" Kuchel said. "Can we go inside?"
Levi entered the house, rubbing the back of his head as he looked around.
They entered the living room, which was comfortably furnished with couches, a coffee table, and a TV. There were a slew of DVDs and other shit strewn around. Levi realized that he instinctively knew what TVs and DVDs were. Again, the twisted jumble of multiple lives collided, like a crash at an intersection. But so long as he knew who he was, and who his family was, he didn't mind. He didn't mind at all.
"Who's gonna pick up this mess?" But he still loved the kids. His messy little angels.
"C'mon." Armin dutifully started to put everything away. Perfect child. Kuchel and Oruo helped, Kuchel glancing back at Levi and beaming every few seconds. Making sure he wasn't going anywhere.
"Let me put on some tea." Petra kissed his cheek.
Next thing Levi knew, he was at the kitchen table with a cup of tea steaming in front of him. The kids had put on some movie in the background, something with loud explosions and cartoon voices. Levi couldn't help staring at his wife and mother, seated side by side and chatting amiably. It was a sight he'd always yearned to see, but now it was here. It was his.
"I'm just glad you're back." Kuchel took his hand and squeezed it. "I hope you're planning to give up that apartment now. Married couples can't have an escape cord to pull every time there's trouble." Fuck, she was scolding him. Sweetly, of course.
He loved it.
But he didn't know what the fuck she was talking about.
"Uh…" He looked to Petra for help.
"Your mother knows all about that fight we had," she said carefully. "Why you needed space for a while."
Her eyes told him that it was complicated. That she'd explain. That she'd probably only be able to explain so much, because it was a mindfuck.
"I hope you're back for good," his mom said.
"Yeah. I ain't leaving again. Ever."
She looked pleased as Levi took his wife's hand and kissed it. His mother cleared her throat meaningfully.
"Well, I think we ought to give you both a little time to sort things out. Kids!" She stood up and got her purse from the counter. "I need to make a quick run to the grocery store for eggs and bread. Who wants to come with me?" When the kids made reluctant noises, his mother grinned. "Whoever comes along can pick out any treat he or she wants."
That got a chorus of cheers from the boys. The TV was turned off, and the kids all hugged Petra and Levi on the way out the door.
Kuchel whimpered a bit. Levi realized she was scared she'd walk out of here and he'd vanish into smoke. Well, after everything she'd been through in her life, who could blame her?
"I'm gonna be here when you get back." He kissed her forehead. "And I'm gonna be here tomorrow, and the next day. You'll get used to it."
Kuchel hugged him, then left with her grandmother and brothers. The front door closed. Levi and Petra stood in the empty kitchen, staring at one another. A clock on the wall ticked. Levi swallowed as he glanced around at the wooden cabinets, the milk jug shaped like a rooster, the magnets on the fridge. It was his home, yet not.
"Want a tour?" Petra held out her hand.
He took it.
She walked him through the dining room, with the polished table and the good china displayed in a case. They stopped to look at photographs. There were pictures on the wall, on the piano, on the side table.
Him and Petra in their wedding clothes.
Pictures of each of the kids when they were born. School photographs.
The family all together on the beach.
None of these exact photos had ever been taken before, yet here they were in full, vibrant color.
"You made a whole life for us." Levi felt dizzy as he picked up a family portrait.
It was the identical to the one they'd taken in Valle, when he and Oruo had frowned. Petra had added a younger Armin into the mix, but otherwise it was the same.
"For a little while, I got to make the world the way I always wanted it to be," she whispered. Petra traced the kids' faces with her fingertips, then held him close. "But it was always missing you." She shuddered.
"Don't cry, baby." He kissed the top of her head.
"I've been so scared from the moment I left you on that ship." She sniffled, then wrapped her arms around his neck. She looked deep into his eyes. "I kept telling the kids that you'd come back to us, but I didn't know if you would. And then when you did…" Her lips trembled, her face scrunched into an ugly cry. He watched her fight the feelings. "I thought you were lost forever."
He kissed her cheeks and nose and chin and every bit of her he could get.
"How did you even come back to yourself?" she whispered. "Apart from me and the kids, no one else did."
"Maybe it's an Ackerman thing?" He shrugged. "Or maybe there's no way in hell to keep me away from you." He cupped her cheek and kissed her. "Even before I saw you at the bookstore, I was dreaming about you and the kids. Back at my apartment, I dreamed about us up in that tree at the midwinter ball. And I dreamed about you when I was living in the other world, on Paradis. My whole life I dreamed of you and Kuchel and Oruo. There was only a small, shitty piece of me left after we remade the damn universe, but it stayed awake and alive because it had to get back to you." He choked on the words, let her hold him close and soothe him. They rocked back and forth. "You kept me alive. You pulled me across the universe. That's how much I fucking adore you, Petra."
"Levi." She kept whispering his name over and over as she peppered kisses all over his face. "I love you. God, I love you so much."
The kissing led to more kissing, and when she moaned a little and moved against him, Levi knew just what he wanted to do next.
"Where's the bedroom?" he growled.
His wife took his hand and led him up the stairs. They passed to the end of the hallway, and she opened a door.
They had a king sized bed with a down comforter and pillows. Two windows let in afternoon sun through the open slats. Levi closed the shades quick while his wife stepped out of her shoes and began to unbutton her shirt.
"Allow me."
His hands trembled as he began to undress her. Fuck, this part was going to make him cry like some little bitch. Because while it had only been two weeks since they parted, it had also been forty years.
Forty years of dreaming of her.
Forty years of missing the touch of her hand and the taste of her.
Levi pressed his mouth to Petra's as he slid her shirt off. It crumpled to the floor.
"Should we pick it up?" she whispered as he unzipped her skirt.
"Later."
He was so desperate and hungry for her that right now mess barely mattered.
Soon she was in only her bra and panties. He held her close, traced his hands along the sleek line of her legs, the plump swell of her ass. His fingertips skated up and down her back, and he fiddled with the clasp of her bra. They kissed, tasted each other deeply. She cooed as he finally undid the bra and tossed it to the floor.
He took her breasts into his hands and kneaded them as she traced the tip of her tongue along his bottom lip. Fuck, his cock got so hard he almost passed out.
"You feel fantastic," he whispered.
"I wanted you every single night." She kissed his neck as she started tugging his shirt, urging him to pull it off. "I made myself come over and over while thinking about you. It was the only way to keep from losing my mind."
Levi shivered as he took off the shirt, as he let her undo his belt buckle and unzip his pants. He almost came as she undressed him, as her hands caressed his legs and calves. His wife knelt on the floor and kissed up his thigh before tugging at his boxers. They fell to his ankles.
"I missed this," she sighed.
Levi closed his eyes as she took him in hand. He let out a long, low groan as she lathed his tip with her tongue. Petra took him into her mouth.
"I'm too close. I want to come inside you." His teeth chattered with need as she stood. He slipped off her panties, then parted her with one finger. "Oh, fuck," he hissed when he discovered how wet she was. She clenched around him, moaned as he slid a second finger inside of her.
"Please. No foreplay," she moaned, letting him kiss down her neck. "I need you to fuck me, Levi."
"Whatever you need."
She threw back the covers and laid down on the bed. He crawled on top of her, positioned himself so that he was propped on his elbows and gazing down at the perfection that was his wife. In the dim light, she looked almost ethereal. Petra begged him with her eyes, and he leaned down and kissed her.
The rest of their lives. That was what lay ahead of him.
Petra moaned as he slid inside, sheathing himself fully. She held him close as he moved, luxuriating in the sensation of her. So soft in his arms, so sweet and slick inside of her body. He had to concentrate to keep from coming immediately.
"Been so long since I touched you," he rasped. They kissed as they fucked.
"You can have me as much as you want. Every day for the rest of our lives." She groaned as he went faster.
"I'm sorry, baby. I can't keep going. Oh, fuck."
"Come on. Levi, my love. Come on."
She held him close as he spilled inside of her.
The next hour passed in slow motion and also a blur. She got on top of him, she got on her knees, she gave herself in every way to him. He could not stop, he loved the taste and the feel of her too much. As he came in her a third time, he couldn't stop the few tears that streaked down his cheeks.
Because she was his again. He had mourned her for so long.
And he knew that he couldn't be parted from her ever again. He'd go insane.
And that scared the shit out of him.
As the last streaks of sunlight extinguished, they lay naked in bed and held each other. Petra hummed against his chest. He kissed her. He told her she was his angel, his brat, his queen.
"You sure you don't mind giving up a crown to work in a shop?" he muttered.
"All I ever wanted was you, and some children, and a house." She traced his lips with her thumb, then kissed him. "I finally have everything."
Just her. All he wanted to see every night for the rest of his life.
However long that is.
They sat up when they heard the front door slam, and the babbling, happy voices of their children. They got dressed, Levi trying to make sure he didn't look sick. But as he followed his wife down the stairs to see their family, he couldn't help the sickness in his gut.
This was all too fucking perfect. It had to be a trick.
But Levi kept a smile on his face as he helped put away the groceries, and as he helped run Oruo's bath, and as he helped wrangle the little boy into that bath. Armin and Kuchel had bathed that morning, like they were supposed to. But Oruo was happy enough when they poured in some bubble bath and gave him a few floating toys. He especially loved the sea monster that spat water.
Seeing the kid all spiky-haired and boiled pink gave Levi a flush of pride. His little guy. He hugged the kids when they got ready for bed.
"Who wants to pick tonight's story?" Petra asked.
"I'm too old for bedtime stories," Kuchel said. She was wearing some pink pajamas with cats all over, and a pair of fuzzy pink slippers. She hugged Levi tight. "But I don't mind listening to you read to the boys."
Levi chuckled. His little angel.
So he went to the boys' room, which was painted blue and white. There was a bunk bed against the far wall near the window, and plastic containers filled with all kinds of action figures. There was a bookshelf and a sofa covered in stuffed animals. Levi noticed that tiger toy Armin had brought along from their old life. The kid snatched the stuffed animal and snuggled up next to Petra on the couch.
"Here, Mama. Read the one about the beanstalk again?" Armin looked adoringly at Petra.
Oruo growled. He calmed when his mother cuddled him against her other side.
So the boys listened as their mother read a story. Kuchel sprawled on the floor on her stomach, one foot kicking up and down in the air. And Levi stood by the door…with Kuchel at his side.
The other Kuchel. Kuchel the First.
Whenever he saw his mother, his head started spinning again. The whole thing felt so fucking insane.
"And Jack lived happily with his harp and his cow all the rest of his days." Petra closed the book and kissed the boys. "Now. Who wants Papa to tuck them in?"
"Me! Me!" the kids chorused. Levi chuckled as Armin nestled into the bottom bunk, while Oruo scrambled up to the top. Armin got kisses from Petra, and asked for a kiss for his tiger, too. Oruo hung upside down over the bunk, making snarling sounds.
After Petra hugged and kissed the boys, Levi tucked them in. He tweaked Armin's nose. The little guy looked so blissful.
What a great kid.
"Love yah," Levi whispered.
"Love you, too." Armin hugged his pillow. Levi stood up, coming face to face with Oruo's sullen expression. He grinned; it was a real delight to see.
"Oi. Under the covers." He tucked the brambly little kid into bed, then pinched his cheek. "Love you. Sleep tight."
"Okay, Papa." Oruo burrowed under his spaceship blankets and made explosion sounds as they shut out the lights and closed the door.
"Bed for you too, young lady," Petra said.
"It's not a school night. Can I play on my computer?" Kuchel pouted as they deposited her into her bedroom. It looked a whole lot like her room back in Valle, with the same fluffy pink and white bed and pink and white curtains. Even most of her stuffed animals looked the same. Only big changes were the desk with the laptop (a word Levi instinctively knew even if he didn't really understand it), and the glossy posters of some kids with guitars hanging on the wall over the bed.
"Okay, but not too late. You're going to Natalie's sleepover tomorrow night." Petra let Kuchel take the laptop over to her bed. The kid divebombed under the covers. Kuchel looked up at him as Levi stood next to her.
His eyes burned. His little girl held up her arms.
"I love you, Papa."
He had dreamed of that face and those words for years. Levi fought the emotion as he hugged and kissed her, as he pulled the covers up like she asked. Kuchel bit her lip, eyes flicking to the loveseat in the corner.
Her fluffy white teddy bear sat on it.
"Don't tell anyone," she whispered when Levi brought the bear over and tucked it in beside her.
"My lips are sealed." He tousled her hair, and his angel beamed at him. "Night, sweetheart."
He shut her door and found Petra and his mother in the hallway. Every time he saw his mom's face, it was another jolt. Like getting hit by lightning.
"I think I'm going to get ready for bed." Petra kissed his cheek. "Night, Kuchel."
Then his wife hugged his mother. Levi's brain felt like it was gonna melt out his ears.
Then he was alone in the hallway with her, with the woman who'd given him life. The one who'd been dead for fucking decades. He'd forgotten the sound of her voice, the exact color of her eyes, but never her.
"So." His mother reached for him.
Levi stepped away from her.
"Uh. Gonna get some air," he choked.
He fled down the stairs and ended up outside on the porch. The light buzzed on overhead, and he stood looking out onto the velvet dark. The streetlights flickered on, humming in the night. Red taillights flashed by. A passing car.
Across the street came the hiss and click as some sprinklers turned on. In the house next door, he saw the blue-white flicker of a TV screen.
Life was all around him. Normal, everyday life.
Levi felt like he was going to throw up.
He gripped the porch railing and hung out over the flowerbed, wondering if he was going to hurl.
More tears are shed over answered prayers…
Petra had told him long, long ago that Eren said those very words to her, back when he was explaining how she and Levi had fucked up the timeline. That had been bad enough, but look at this. They lived in a safe, comfortable house on a quiet suburban street. His friends were back. His kids were alive. Fuck, his mother had returned from the goddamn dead, and he, Levi Ackerman, was young and strong again. His right eye was back, his scars had vanished, his fingers had been restored, his knee was painfree.
What kind of epic cosmic price was he going to have to pay for this?
In all the excitement of seeing Petra and the kids again, of making love again, he hadn't stopped to consider just how fucked up this all was.
You weren't supposed to get anything you want, let alone everything.
When the bill came due this time, it would kill him.
"Levi?"
He turned and found his mother standing in the doorway. The light from the hall haloed her as she stepped onto the porch.
"Uh. Hi," he croaked. He couldn't stare at this living ghost. Fuck, he almost wished Petra hadn't done this insane, miraculous, terrifying thing.
"Sweetheart, sit down."
Kuchel sighed as she lowered herself onto a wicker chair. Levi clung to the porch railing. He couldn't do this.
"Um. How long you…been here?" He felt about ready to pass out.
"I really need to talk to you."
He paused then, because there was something strange in her eye and the tone of her voice. It was something like acceptance, or at least suspicion.
"What?"
"It's the strangest thing." His mother touched her left temple. "I have all of these memories of our lives together. Of you growing up in our apartment in the city; of your wedding day; of the children's birthdays." She looked straight at him, as if she could gaze into his very soul. "But I woke up about a week ago beneath—"
"Beneath the tree out next to the high school?" Levi felt dizzy. "Yeah. Me, too."
His mother took a deep breath. "And ever since then, I can't help but feel like I've been remembering a lie."
He was so scared he didn't know what to say or do. Was this a test? If he failed it, would the reality around him rip apart like tissue paper? Was he actually in hell, where the demons were testing him? How else could he explain this perfect, fantasy fucking ending?
"Why do you say that?"
"Kuchel spoke to me," she said gently. "Two days ago I found her sobbing in her room. She said that she missed you. When I told her she ought to go to your apartment and talk to you, she became really wild."
His heart hammered. Of course his little girl had been terrified. She had not known if she would ever see him again.
"Did she say anything?"
"Not very much. But she started talking about how you wouldn't be there, and how you might never be there again. I decided to call you, but I realized I didn't have your phone number. And then I began to ask myself a lot of questions, and…" She sighed. "I never asked Petra about this, because I think I was too afraid of what she'd say. Or what would happen."
"You felt like you were living in some kind of kid's make believe world," Levi muttered. His arms were shaking. "And if you asked too many questions, the whole thing would disappear."
"Exactly." His mother pressed her fingers to her lips. He could read the fear in her eyes, an old woman's eyes. She'd never gotten to be an old woman before. Not once. "Levi, I'm scared."
"Me, too." He couldn't help it. If this was a test, let him fail it. He wasn't strong enough for this bullshit. He staggered over and sat across from his mom. "I know what's going on around here."
"Please tell me."
"It won't make any sense. You won't believe me." Rather, she wouldn't want to believe him.
"I understand. Please try."
And so he sat with his mother and told her all about her death. When Kuchel started looking pale and confused he wanted to stop, but she squeezed his hands and forced him to continue. So he told her what had happened to him after she died—his time in the underground with Kenny, his life with Furlan and Isabel. He told her about meeting Erwin and being dragged up to the Survey Corps, of fighting titans, of falling in love with Petra. He even went into detail about the split timelines, how they'd destroyed the world and then put it back together again with a sacrifice. And how his angel of a wife had refused to back down even in the face of death, how she'd pulled him across whole planes of existence to reunite the family in this seemingly perfect world. And as he spoke, Levi felt something released inside of his chest, a flood of water putting out a roaring fire. God, it felt so good just to tell somebody about this, even if she didn't believe him.
When he'd finished, Kuchel sat there for a while. She thought.
"All right." She petted his cheek. "I…I think I believe you."
"Then you are either a very smart or very crazy woman," he muttered.
"Don't speak to your mother that way." But she was about as threatening as a cream puff when she said it. That'd always been her way; she'd always been too sweet and gentle for the world. That was the moment he realized it really, truly was her.
Levi felt insane. He lowered his head, trying to make the world stop spinning.
"I'm scared," he whispered.
"Me, too. Oh, sweetheart."
Kuchel lifted his face and gave him a hug and a kiss. Levi returned to being all of four years old, shaking her body. Sobbing as he realized he'd been left alone, buried beneath the earth.
Through the haze of his tears, he saw that she was also crying.
"I'm so sorry I left you." She wept.
"You remember now?"
"No." She shook her head, eyes downcast. "I don't have these memories, but I believe them. And I feel so wrong. I missed so much time. I wasn't there to protect you."
"If you had been," he said half-heartedly, "I might never have joined the Corps or met Erwin or Petra. Had the kids."
Helped save the world from Eren and the Rumbling.
"Can you forgive me?" she whispered.
"Fuck, forgive you? You've got nothing to be forgiven for." He held her hands tight, marveled at the delicate bones, the thin, papery skin. His mother had died at thirty and been reborn at almost sixty. Missed so much, the end of youth, the ripening of middle age. "I'm just sorry you missed everything."
"Well, I'm not going to miss another thing. I'm staying here as long as I can with you and the children."
Levi felt like he had to ask. "You don't feel weird about Armin, right? I want the kid to be part of the family."
"He is part of the family," she said matter of factly. "I told him to call me Grandma, just like Kuchel and Oruo. I still want him to."
She'd adopted the child so easily into her heart. His mother had always been heart, and nothing but. She found it so easy to love, while Levi struggled. He hung his head in shame.
"I'm still scared," he said.
"Of what?"
"You kidding? Things don't get this good and stay that way."
"Well." She seemed puzzled. "Of course they don't."
"What I mean is, this is all too perfect. That means it's a lie."
"But this isn't a perfect world. I've been around long enough to know it." Kuchel gave a surprised laugh. "Turn on the news any day and you'll see war, poverty, crime. Cruelty. This is a world like any other."
"Yeah, but…" Levi frowned. "My life's too good, though. Petra made it all so amazing."
"Yes. When she had those powers she could do almost anything, like you said. But she doesn't have them anymore. Now we're the same as any other people. We're going to get older, get sick, and eventually die. The kids will grow up and move away. There are still bills to worry about. It's real life, Levi. But this time, you don't have to carry the world on your shoulders."
"Huh?"
Kuchel looked at him with those blue-gray eyes that were his, that were his daughter's and his son's. Kenny had given Levi the tools to survive, but not to live. Life had always been Kuchel's gift. Real life.
"You suffered more than anyone I could imagine." She sniffled, her face breaking again in shame. Levi hugged his mother, still dizzy with the fact he could do it. "You gave everything, time and again, to save everyone."
"Yeah. I was a hero. Like Kenny said, I'm addicted to it."
And wasn't that also the fear? That he'd wake every morning in a small suburban life and mop floors and dream of when he'd been a king and a hero? Janitors dreamed of becoming warriors, not the other way around.
"I don't think that's true." She petted his hair. "I may not have been there for so long, but I saw you when you were a tiny baby. I knew who you were the first day I held you in my arms. You're the most loving man in the world. You were as a little boy, and you are now." This time, her eyes shone with pride. "I don't think you wanted to be a hero for your own sake. You wanted to save people. Take care of them."
Because he had not been able to save her, or Isabel, or Furlan.
"Yeah. Maybe," he croaked.
"You have a wife and children who adore you. Who depend on you. You have a community that needs you, too. Is it so much worse here? Where at least you have some security, and some comfort? And love?"
No. Fuck no, it was way better here. Levi would spend his life protecting his home and family and friends. Wherever he went, whoever he was, that would always be what drove him.
In the past, he'd defended them with a sword. This was just a different reality, that was all. Different weapons were needed.
But he'd wield them. Whatever it took to keep those he cared for safe, he'd do it. That was just his way.
"I'm just so afraid it'll get smashed up."
"Me, too. I mean, I've been dead for decades. I think I'd rather not do that again anytime soon." Kuchel laughed, the sound as bright and merry as his own daughter's. "But everything breaks down eventually, doesn't it? Nothing stays exactly the same while we're alive."
No. No, it didn't.
Fuck, she was right. This wasn't paradise, because anything could still happen. He could be hit by a car, or get sick. He would grow old and lose those around him. It wasn't a perfect world.
But for right now, it was good. And good was enough.
"When I was a kid, I kept praying every day that you'd come back to life." His chin wobbled. He didn't want to cry like a bitch, but here they were. "You're not supposed to get exactly what you pray for."
"Was the path to getting here so easy?" She smiled.
Levi thought of the decades of agony, the torture of love and fear of its loss. He thought of sacrificing everything in order to save reality. Of decades spent alone on Paradis.
No. Fuck no, actually. The process of getting his wish granted had destroyed him multiple times.
That almost made him laugh.
"There's my boy." Kuchel held him close again. Levi may've been a world class bruiser, but he was so happy to be rocked by his mother's arms again that he almost fell apart. Kuchel rubbed his back, kissed his cheek.
"Don't leave," he whispered.
"I will one day. But I don't think I will tomorrow. Or for a long time to come."
Yes. That was all anyone could ask.
That was all anyone could pray for.
"Why don't you go up to bed? Petra must be waiting."
"Coming?"
"I think I'd like to sit on the porch a bit and just listen to the crickets." Kuchel smiled, wrapping her shawl tighter around her body. "Those are the moments being alive was made for."
Damn true.
He went upstairs and found Petra in bed, reading a book. She put it down the second he walked through the door.
"You okay?"
She wore a white satin negligee. Levi's balls tightened in approval.
"Yeah." He smiled. "I am."
He washed up in the bathroom, brushed his teeth. He undressed and threw his clothes in the wicker hamper as Petra watched him with hopeful eyes. Down to his boxers, Levi pulled back the covers and got in beside his wife.
"So." She bit her lip.
"Thank you."
"Are you sure?" She looked so nervous. "Are you okay with this life?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
She studied her hands. "I was afraid that you'd be insulted by it. Or scared."
"I was scared. Fuck, guess I still am." He ghosted the back of his knuckles against her soft cheek. Petra shut her eyes in bliss. "But Mom made a good point just now. I can't spend the rest of my life waiting for bad shit to happen. I need to just take what I have and hold on."
"She's a wise woman."
"Considering she's been dead a while, she's pretty smart."
Petra laughed and blushed. "I hope that part's okay, too. I know bringing her back might seem a little creepy."
"Downright spooky. But I'm okay with it." He cuddled her close. Levi smelled her nightly lotion, felt the puff of her breath against his neck. This was true paradise. "Most people don't get second chances. I gotta make this one count."
"Same."
"I don't know much anymore. Just know one thing." He lifted her face and kissed her lips. There was no carnality in it; he only wanted her to know how much he loved her. He felt her give that love back to him. "You're the greatest woman who ever lived."
"That's too much." But she giggled. He kissed the tip of her nose.
"Fuck no. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have my children. My mother. I wouldn't be alive. The world would not be standing without you, Petra Ral. You're stronger than me."
"Impossible."
"Yes, you are. Not physically, of course. I can still kick your ass." He grinned when she pinched him in retribution. "But the whole damn story of my life's got you all over it. You made me a better man. You saved my sorry ass. I love you for that, and for everything else."
"Levi." She sniffed. "I think you've gotten very good at words."
"Only took me a couple lifetimes. I got there eventually."
He sat there with his wife in his arms, and he thought about all the steps they'd taken together. He marveled when he thought about it, how this one small woman, this ginger-haired, fire-eyed little angel had changed the world. How all the people back on Paradis owed everything to this girl, and how they'd never know it.
Strange to think how a girl who'd had such a minor part to play in the story of Eren's titan conquest could have been so crucial.
How could this perfect woman love him? He did not know. But he'd work his whole life to make himself worthy of her.
"What you reading?" he asked, kissing her shoulder.
"I got another copy of that Ring cycle that Erwin lent me a long time ago." She smiled as she thumbed through the book. "I'm on the last one, Twilight of the Gods. It's the end of Brunnhilde's story."
"How's it go?" He shut his eyes, reveling in the soft sweetness of her voice.
"Brunnhilde and Siegfried both die. She sacrifices herself to return the golden ring to the river maidens. When she does that, the world as they know it ends. The gods burn up, but then the river overflows and washes all the problems away. The world starts again with the race of man."
"A simpler world," Levi said. "A happier one." He smiled. "What about Brunnhilde?"
"It doesn't say. She dies, of course. Maybe she becomes a goddess again. Or maybe she and Siegfried start over somewhere new."
"One thing's for sure," Levi whispered as he kissed her lips. "It's her story."
"Maybe it is."
They shut out the lights and laid together in the dark. Levi held Petra close as he listened to the silence of the house. As their children slept in peace. As his mother rocked on the porch and looked forward to a peaceful life.
As he held the perfect woman in his arms and eagerly anticipated the next morning, he realized that not all prayers are in vain.
Levi finally understood that some tears are shed out of happiness.