"We're less than two weeks away from NEWTs and they still haven't sorted out a bloody Defence teacher and they're not even lowering the grade margins?! I swear to Merlin, if they mess everything up because-" Merritt complained in a loud whisper for the third time that evening.
"To be fair, I'm pretty sure they did sort a replacement, it's not Dumbledore's fault they never turned up..." Bartie replied absentmindedly as he turned a page of his textbook.
"Yeah. Would you, if the last..." Scott added, trailing off. Bess knew what he was trying to say - 'would you turn up if the last teacher was murdered', but it was still too soon after what happened to Amarella.
Merritt sighed. "I'm not discounting that, I'm just saying that they-"
"Oh my god, shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I can't concentrate with your racket!" Lucy shouted, silencing her boyfriend.
Bess' eyes widened and she promptly cast levitation spells on all of her belongings and books. She practically jumped to the next library table along, just sitting down as Madam Pince rounded the corner brandishing her feather duster at the seventh years gathered around a large table.
"Shouting in my library will not be tolerated!" cried Madam Pince. "All of you! Out! Right now!"
"What? But we're taking our NEWTs in two weeks! We need to study!" Scott replied in a horrified and loud voice, somewhat bravely in Bess' opinion. He seemed to immediately regret his words as Madam Pince's face grew redder.
"Well you should have thought about that before you started shouting, shouldn't you? Out! All of you! Now!" she cried again.
Bartie, being the closest to the librarian, was hit with the feather duster many times as Grace, Scott, Merritt, Lucy and he packed up their things.
"Can I at least take this book out?" Grace asked tensely, holding onto a copy of Transfiguring Time.
"No!" replied Madam Pince. She reached over and grabbed the book out of Grace's hands and cradled it in her arms. "And if I find so much as a fleck of ink on these pages you'll be sorry!"
"You coming?" Bartie asked Bess.
Bess grimaced and sent him an apologetic look, mouthing, "I'm sorry, I need to study too." He rolled his eyes at her before following the rest of the group out of the library.
"That's my girl," Sirius whispered next to her. "Abandoning her friends to study..."
Bess tried to hide her smile as she turned to the 'empty' seat next to her which she now knew was filled by Sirius underneath James'invisibility cloak. She covered her mouth with her hand and whispered, "Hey you, enough of the cheek. I've managed to go almost an entire year without being chucked out of the library. Not breaking that streak yet..."
"An entire year?" whispered Sirius in an incredulous tone. "Merlin, James was right, you really are a nerd."
"Says the guy who thinks it's the height of cool to know everything there is to know about magic and swots up in the middle of the night when he thinks his girlfriend is asleep?"
Her words were met with silence, and Bess tried to hide her laughter.
"It was a motorbike manual," he replied after another few moments.
"Really?"
"Yeah..."
"Since when did Transfiguration Today have a section on motorbikes?"
"Since I started reading it in the middle of the night so my girlfriend wouldn't know I have a subscription to something as sad as Transfiguration Today..." Sirius whispered in reply.
Bess couldn't help the smile that came over her face, and she bit her lip and looked at where she assumed his face was. She smiled at him for another moment before she pursed her lips, a ghost of a smile still on her face, and turned back to her studying.
"History?" Sirius asked, and she felt his hand brush over, and then settle on, her thigh.
"Yeah, I think notes wise I think I'm okay with Defence, Potions and Charms now, but I've still got to memorise them all, and I'm already four hours behind on my revision timetable. I can't bring myself to open a Transfiguration textbook at the moment. I just keep freaking out and getting a mental block every time I try and turn a cauldron cake into a cabbage. Don't laugh! Yesterday I just gave up, I honestly couldn't be arsed anymore... ended up eating five cakes to make myself feel better. Honestly, you have no idea how bad I get around exams when I'm surrounded by other students. It's actually going to get embarrassing..."
Sirius, who had begun to snigger let out a loud laugh, and Bess kicked him under the table and tried to cover it up with a few coughs.
When Sirius squeezed her thigh in apology, she looked down and placed her hand over his which was still under cover of the invisibility cloak and whispered, "I missed your touch."
Her eyes flickered to where she thought he was again, and she sighed, squeezing his hand. She licked her lips and sent him a small smile.
Then, her eyes widened significantly and she turned back to her books, ducking her head down and picking up her quill to scribble furiously.
She'd made contact with Michael Thompson, who was on his way over. "Alright Coulson?"
"Hi," Bess replied with a groan. She'd accidentally been smiling and, apparently, flirting, with the seventh year Ravenclaw boy who'd now asked her out twice - once when she was in the Hospital Wing recovering from her vision, and once in the corridor before the Hogsmeade trip the previous weekend.
"Couldn't help noticing you smiling at me..."
"Uh- yeah, I wasn't..." she replied slowly, trying to think of an excuse. She wished Sirius could be of more help, but he couldn't show himself without putting a target on her back, and neither of them wanted Bess to be hexed again.
"What?" Thompson asked with an arrogant laugh. "Still playing hard to get?"
Bess glared. "I wasn't smiling at you, I was smiling at... at..."
"Peeves," whispered Sirius into her ear.
Bess nodded and smiled inwardly, thinking that Sirius was probably quite annoyed at the moment.
She replied, "Uh- yes... I was smiling at Peeves."
"Peeves?" Thompson replied with a frown, the smile dropping from his face.
"Yeah. He's uh- he's... he's over... there?" Bess pointed just behind the boy.
Just then, there was an almighty bang and Bess gasped as an entire row of books flew off the shelves and crashed straight onto a table a few along from hers.
"Oh shit!" Thompson shouted, and ran over to the table, trying desperately to pick up his things and get out of there before-
"What are you doing?! Oh my word! Out! Out! How dare you? Defacing my books! How dare you?" Madam Pince cried as she thrashed him around the head with her feather duster.
Thompson ran out of the library with his things and Bess tried not to laugh as Madam Pince began picking up each book, checking for signs of damage.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"Of course. Thought we should move... this could get sad," Sirius whispered, and Bess watched as her books and parchment stacked themselves and slid into her bag.
"Thanks again," she replied in a whisper and walked purposefully towards the back of the library, stopping at the seats by the restricted section. "I wish there was just a way to disappear when Pince came around."
Sirius chuckled next to her as they sat down. "You're thinking of a vanishing cabinet. I'm sure you could get one for a good price at the moment, and I know a lot of students would jump at the chance of investing!"
"Ssh! She'll hear you. It's like she's got portkeys all over the library. She's always lurking somewhere..." Bess whispered, unpacking her bag. When she'd arranged her things on the table she realised that Sirius hadn't answered. "Pup?" she whispered.
Sirius let out an exhale of air and replied, "Merlin, love, I think... I think I know how to get you away from Greyback."
"What? How?" she asked, stopping all movement as she focussed on his reply.
"Okay... it'll take some doing, and it's definitely illegal... I might have to ask Ma for help..." Sirius whispered.
"Sirius, get to the point please..."
"A portkey."
"What?"
"A portkey! It's for transporting-"
"I know what they are, pup, I mean, how will that help me?" she asked, frowning at her parchment, her head slightly turned towards him to show she was still listening. She was trying hard not to draw attention to herself, sitting 'alone' and talking 'to herself'.
"There are a couple of different types. There are ones where you have to touch them at a certain time and they'll take you somewhere, but there are also ones which only activate when they're touched!" he whispered, and Bess could tell he was grinning.
"I'm not following," Bess whispered.
"Okay. What if we charm something to become a portkey and hide it somewhere. Like... like in the Padfoot charm on your necklace. Then, when you need it you can just open the charm and go!"
"I'm pretty sure that if that worked there would be a lot of people going around with portable portkeys, don't you?" Bess asked, rolling her eyes, her jaw tensed in annoyance.
"Well I'm sorry for trying to think of something which could help..." Sirius replied in an angry whisper, his excitement deflating immediately.
Bess took a moment and rubbed her hands down her face as she let out a long sigh. "No, I'm sorry... it's just... it's just that Lily's been throwing around solutions and making me go over the vision almost every night, and Dumbledore's been trying to figure out a way to track where I am. Everyone's trying to come up with things to help but... but it all seems impossible," she sighed, a defeated expression on her face as she buried her head in her hands.
"It's okay, love, we'll find a way."
"That's the thing, I don't think there is a way. Because if my vision doesn't come true, then that means that there's a chance that my vision about the..." she stopped herself from saying Malfoy Manor. "... sorry... uh- my vision about you all in the kitchen, all of you happy... it means that might not come true."
"No, love, it still can. It still will. Visions are subjective. And I can't imagine a future without you, so we have to change this one," Sirius replied firmly, rubbing circles into her back. "Do you want me to tell Lily to shove off for a bit?"
Bess smiled and shook her head, sitting upright with a loud groan. "No," she whispered, "no... it's nice. It's nice to know she cares about me."
"Cares? Love, I'm pretty sure she thinks of you as a sister at this point," Sirius replied, and Bess felt his arm snake around her waist as his forehead came to rest on the side of her head.
"I don't know why," she whispered behind her hand, closing her eyes and leaning ever so slightly into his touch so that no one looking over at her would suspect anything.
"Maybe because you're kind, caring, lovely, slightly hot headed, and you love her enough to be actively trying to save her, James, and Harry's lives?" he asked as Bess scoffed at each point.
Bess shook her head and smiled slightly. "Nah, I think it's because I let her borrow my leather jacket for the Hogsmeade trip and James almost melted..."
Sirius chuckled. "Yeah, she looked pretty good. Not as good as you do wearing it... but I'm a bit biased."
"A bit?" Bess asked, smiling more. She looked down at her parchment and groaned again. "Ugh, I've still got so much to do! I hate exams so much, I'm going to fail everything, I just know it!"
Sirius chuckled. "I'm sure it's not that bad. What're you working on?"
"Everything! I'm still in the notes stage! It's just... it's just not going in and I'm going to fail."
"Really, love, I'm sure you're doing better than you think. Come on, what've you got? Walk me through it."
"Okay, so I've written down everything I need to know for each exam, and then I've condensed the information into these sheets," she said, indicating a large stack in front of her. "And then I've colour coded them. Then I've used key words to condense them further and written up those," she said, pointing to another smaller pile of notes, "which are one side of parchment and colour coded them for Charms, Potions and Defence. I've still got to do Transfiguration and I'm halfway through History, and then I've got to do more practice for the practicals, check on my Potions ingredients to make sure they're all stocked up because the deadline for restocking is Friday, and I've got to owl order some more quills and ink because I'm running low, and I've got to go over all of my notes and make sure I haven't missed a spell again... actually... I'll love you forever of you can help me with Transfiguration..." she trailed off and was met with silence.
"Pup?" More silence.
"Pup?" she asked again. She could feel his hand on her back still, and the pressure of his forehead on her head but he wasn't answering.
"Pup!" she whispered loudly.
Sirius' forehead jolted back from hers and he whispered in a mocking voice, "Oh shit, sorry love, I must've dozed off."
"I hate you."
xXx
The next two weeks flew by in a blur of clandestine meetings with Sirius in the library, and intense revision. At first Bess hadn't been feeling too much pressure, but then the worries of her friends who were studying for their NEWTs hit her, and she began to worry to excess, her anxiety piqued. She was so worried, in fact, that she'd asked Jasper to call off their next two meetings so that she could study more, and he'd only agreed when she'd blown up a chair while duelling him because she'd been thinking about both stupefy and bombarda, the exploding charm.
Even Dumbledore had given her some space - he'd rearranged for their meeting to take place on the Saturday evening after her exams so that she had a full day to recover from the pressure of impressing her teachers.
Such was her dedication to studying that even Professor McGonagall had to remind her that these were just end of year exams and not her actual NEWTs, though that might have been due to her and a few other students who were also feeling the exam anxiety.
But Bess couldn't calm down - once she'd begun to worry, her anxiety around exams and what the end of exams and the summer holidays would mean for her, played on her mind constantly.
At night she would wake up breathless, trying not to hyperventilate as her heart raced and ached in her chest. In an effort to distract herself, she would dose up on coffee throughout the day and try to pay as much attention to the revision classes as possible, which only made her heart race more.
Two incidents stood out to her as the peak of her anxiety.
There was the time when, the Thursday before exams week, she stopped in the middle of the hallway, wide eyed, and pulled out her parchment to frantically scribble down a spell she'd forgotten, only to find that all of her parchment was missing, which included all of her notes.
It was only when she'd emptied her bag onto the floor and was alternating between swearing, trying not to tear her hair out, and frantically searching her belongings that Skye handed her a pile of notes, whispering, "Sorry, James paid me a galleon to see what would happen if I took them... I didn't think you'd..." she gestured broadly to the scene in front of her - Bess on her hands and knees, staring up at her friend with crazed eyes. "Well... I didn't think it'd be this pathetic..."
And then there was the time when she'd cornered Remus, breaking the Slytherins' 'don't go near the Marauders' protocol, and received a hex which made her lips swell to the size of oranges the afternoon before the first exam.
"What was so important?" Lily asked as they walked back to the common room from the Hospital Wing.
"I can't remember, but I know I really need to know it," Bess whispered, dropping her head into her hands. "I'm going to fail and they're going to chuck me out!" She felt like the pressure was a dam which had broken, and she could barely breathe. She began to gasp in short breaths as the panic set in.
"Oh Bess!" Lily said softly, wrapping her arms around Bess, holding her. "They wouldn't chuck you out! I swear! And you won't fail!"
Bess just continued to take long calming breaths in, repeating her counts of four and eight to ground herself, Lily's words bouncing around her hot and heavy head.
They stayed like that for a while until Bess got her breathing under control and then they pulled apart and Bess whispered, "Sorry."
"It's fine. I really don't think you need to worry as much as this though. I don't remember you being like this last year..."
"I revised for like six weeks straight and went for hour long walks whenever I got anxious," Bess replied, and Lily nodded with understanding.
Since the Easter holidays, Bess hadn't been able to go for a single walk on her own. Every one had been supervised or accompanied by someone else.
"I'm a right mess aren't I?" Bess whispered, incredibly embarrassed by the panic she'd had in front of her friend.
"No. No you're not. Honestly, you should have seen me before my Potions practical last year. I was sure I was going to forget everything. I got so riled up that Jo almost slapped me to get me to calm down..."
"Let me guess, you got an O?"
"Maybe..." Lily replied with a blush.
Bess smiled and sighed deeply.
"You good?" Lily asked quietly, reaching over to hold Bess' forearm.
"Yeah. Thanks."
"No problem. Come on, let's get you back. You need all the sleep you can get," Lily said, practically frog marching Bess back to the common room.
When they got there, Sirius and James were standing on a table in the corner of the room. Around them, a large group of students had gathered and were sitting cross-legged on the floor, crammed onto sofas, or standing around, all staring at them, mugs of hot drinks in their hands as they regaled a story. Peter, she noticed, was staring up at the duo adoringly, whilst Remus, who was sat beside the watery eyed boy, was reading a textbook and ignoring his friends.
"Every bloody year," Lily muttered to herself, a smile on her face. "This happens every year," she whispered louder to Bess. "They tell a story of woe just before exams week to put everything into perspective. Usually happens when Remus worries one too many times about a subject... it used to annoy me but now I see the benefits. It really is a good way of relaxing people."
Bess smiled at Lily, noting her deep blush and the way she was playing with her hair as she stared at James. Turning back to the boys, Bess tuned in to the end of the story.
"-and then... because he didn't know how to stop a venomous tentacula from biting him, they expelled him, and Joshua Fablington became the first student to fail all of his exams!" James stage whispered dramatically.
"He went down in history as the most stupid Ravenclaw that ever lived," Sirius finished.
In response to the round of applause, laughter and cat calls from their listeners, the boys proceeded to take deep bows.
Bess gasped and turned to Lily. "I don't know how to stop a venomous tentacula from biting me! They're going to expel me!"
"Bess, you don't even take Herbology," Lily replied, rolling her eyes.
"Oh yeah," she replied, clutching her heart.
That night, just as she climbed into her bed, she received a large bar of chocolate and a phoenix parchment note from the Marauders which made her laugh, each paragraph had been written by a different hand, and she was grateful that they'd come together to write her a note - she had missed her friends so much over the past weeks.
Dearest Elizabeth,
Remus humbly requests that you eat as much of this bar of Honeyduke's finest as you can ahead of exams.
James would like to offer his most heartfelt apologies for invoking even more exam stress with Sirius and his well imagined and brilliantly told story.
(Underneath James' writing, Sirius had added 'Sorry love, Lily dobbed you in. Can't believe you forgot you weren't taking herbology!')
Peter would like to point out that no exam is worth this stress.
(Underneath this line James had added, 'But if you get worse marks than Peter we will be judging you...')
Sirius would like to offer his services should his wonderful girlfriend need any help relaxing this week. He is sure he could think of a few things to distract...
James requests that the highly esteemed Miss Coulson pass on a similar message to the most beautiful, intelligent and illustrious keeper of his heart, Miss Lily Evans.
(Underneath that, Remus had written, 'Peter and I would like to express our mutual disgust at Sirius and James' comments.)
Warmest regards,
Remus, Peter, Sirius and James.
Bess grinned. They'd written her a Marauders letter without letting Peter know that she knew about their secrets. She re-read the letter, adding in their nicknames, and decided instantly to shrink the letter and add it to her notebook. When she'd completed her task, she scribbled down, 'Read this when you're sad', on the page opposite the letter.
By the time she'd finished, she heard more fluttering and looked up to see another parchment phoenix hovering above her. She touched it and it unfurled its wings and fell onto her palm.
Love,
Peter's right. They're just exams. But if they're freaking you out, just know that marks aren't the be-all end-all of a person's worth.
I believe in you.
S xx
P.S. I promise, I will find a way to see you alone this weekend. Just something to look forward to.
She immediately sent a reply thanking the boys and Sirius, who had done the impossible and managed to help her relax for the first time in weeks. Then she rolled over, fell asleep, and woke up the next morning with strong butterflies in her stomach and a heart beating as fast as a hummingbird.
Somehow she made it through the week.
'Somehow' meaning that she ignored everyone, even Sirius (who seemed to be the one who understood this the most, having been at the receiving end of her running away from him for the entirety of their OWLs), and spent the whole week with her head buried in her notes, barely eating and barely sleeping. Her behaviour was far from out of the ordinary, only, the only people who seemed to be echoing her were taking their OWLs or NEWTs, not their end of year exams.
But she made it through the week and then, after her last exam, she walked out in a mindless and numb haze, having spent the week pouring out all of her knowledge onto parchment.
Her head felt heavy and tired, she could feel an intense headache coming on, and she felt like she had no words left to speak or write.
She walked straight up to her dorm room and fell into her bed. She slept through dinner, the mini sleepover party her dorm mates threw as an end of exams treat, and breakfast and lunch the next day, only surfacing for the loo and when her alarm went off, reminding her that she needed to shower and get ready for her meeting with Dumbledore.
She even missed the three parchment phoenixes perched on the end of her bed waiting for her when she stepped out of the shower.
Still in a haze, and with her headache growing, she walked through the near-empty common room and down the corridor to the Headmasters' office.
xXx
"Ah, Bess, do come in," Dumbledore said, beckoning Bess in with a wave of his hand. He was standing by his large ornate chair, and turned back to the window as Bess walked in and closed the door behind her. "Such a wondrous evening, wouldn't you agree? I often enjoy watching the sunset from my-"
"What happened?" Bess asked immediately in a confused but excited tone as she crossed the office.
"I'm sorry?" he asked, turning around to face her once more, his hands clasped behind his back.
"Something happened... Something good I'd say. Or something you're trying to hide from me. You seem more... chipper... than usual," she replied as she walked to stand opposite Dumbledore, next to her usual seat. "What's going on?"
"Please forgive me, but I am not at liberty to say," Dumbledore replied, a twinkle in his eye which told Bess that whatever it was was good news. "Should I enquire about your exams, or should I ask Madam Pomfrey to fetch a calming potion first?"
"Harsh," Bess replied, smiling back at the older wizard, who was chuckling lightly. "But fair... I did go a little bit..."
"I think the word Minerva used was dedicated. Yes, she said that you seemed extremely dedicated to your studies."
"Yes, well, I'm still feeling the effects. Bit lightheaded if I'm honest," she replied, rubbing her forehead as she sank into the chair next to her. "Last year was easier..."
"Why?"
"Honestly? I thought I was going back to my world. Hogwarts was a dream. Everything felt so... felt so... but now..." she trailed off and placed her head into her hands as tears polled at the corners of her eyes.
"Now?"
She sighed deeply, rubbed her eyes roughly on her sleeves and crossed her arms as she sat back in her chair and stared up at Dumbledore. "Now... it's different. I keep thinking that if I- if I fail Transfiguration, it's proof that I literally can't change anything. Like, if I can't change my appearance, how am I meant to run from Death Eaters? If I fail Charms, it's proof I can't use spells to help anyone. If I fail Potions... no... actually, I don't really care about Potions... but if I fail Defence... well that's basically saying I can't protect myself at all. And if I can't even protect myself, or change appearances, or use charms, then what's all this been about? What am I doing? I'm just messing everything up and riding on the coattails of my boyfriend and his friends. And..." Bess gasped in a breath and stared up at the ceiling. "And if fail everything, that just proves to everyone who has helped me so far that I'm rubbish, and awful, and that I'm a failure."
Dumbledore was silent for a moment. "Bess, exams do not prove someone's abilities, nor do they impact upon your magic. I know plenty of wizards and witches who have not progressed further than OWL level and yet have enjoyed incredible and illustrious careers. And correct me if I'm wrong, but Jasper, Mr Black, Mr Potter, Mr Lupin and Miss Evans have all praised your progress in your studies? As have your Professors? I think you would be hard pressed to find someone who did not believe that you were working as hard as you possibly could."
"Thank you," replied Bess in a whisper as she wiped the tears away from her eyes again. "I have a... complicated relationship with grading systems anyway, let alone with the added pressure of the war... my father always demanded one hundred percent. I rarely lived up to his standards..."
"Well, you are living up to ours," Dumbledore replied.
In that moment Bess gained even more respect for the wizard. He had inadvertently put all of her fears to rest for the time being, and she didn't know if he knew it. Or knew how much his words meant to her.
"Fizzing Whizzbee?" he asked, producing a large paper bag from his robes. "Please, take your customary six. I would loathe for your friends to miss an opportunity to try another of my confectionary choices."
Bess smiled and picked out six sweets, pocketing five and popping the other in her mouth, savouring the sugary goodness. "Thanks."
"Of course," Dumbledore replied. He walked over to his chair and sat down elegantly, clasping his hands together as he appraised her. "Now, shall we begin?"
"Uh- yes. I've been thinking about parseltongue-"
"Bess, I believe that it is time for us to revisit the matter of your safety over the summer," Dumbledore cut across, his smile falling, the twinkle in his eye replaced with a hard curiosity.
"I thought we drew a line under that when I..." Bess trailed off and thought back to when she had shouted at him about Arianna.
"I would agree, but I wondered if maybe we could speak about the practicalities of the summer break, if you didn't mind? Perhaps this time without airing private matters?"
"Sorry... again..."
"No need," he said, waving his hand in the air. "I did understand the emotions behind your outburst, and I must admit to my own wrongdoing. I have spent too long regarding you as a teenager. I forget how old you really are..."
"You say that like I'm ancient..." Bess replied with a grimace, wriggling her shoulders to sit more comfortably in the chair.
"Ah, please excuse me. No, I simply meant that I have not been affording you the same respect as I should have been. Jasper informed me that there is only a five month difference between you both?" Dumbledore asked.
Bess simply nodded.
"And so I must treat you with the same respect and care as I would him. You are, after all, our biggest asset in this war," he replied matter-of-factly, and Bess shivered slightly from the implications of his words.
"Your biggest weapon at the moment. And a defective one at that. I haven't even managed to find out where the last Horcrux is yet..." she replied with a hard sigh.
Dumbledore's expression softened and he nodded slowly. "You think so little of yourself? Even after what we just discussed?"
"I suffer from anxiety, depression, and have no self confidence, so yeah..." she said quietly, rolling her eyes. "What practicalities?"
"Current intelligence indicates that Delbert has not yet informed Voldemort of your existence. With the anti-tracking and Fidelius charms, I believe that you will be safe for the time being. However, Greyback has been... unpredictable as of late, and so I believe that we should continue to plan for all eventualities. Have you had any thoughts on the matter since we last spoke?" he asked, his gaze unwavering.
Bess' mind went blank. She frowned and reached a hand to her forehead. Her headache growing stronger, throbbing at her temples.
"I haven't..." she replied, squirming under his disappointed gaze. "Sirius suggested a portkey might work..."
"A portkey?"
"Yes, uh... a hidden one. I have a dog charm on my necklace that we could hide it in," she replied quickly.
"May I see it?" he asked, reaching out a hand.
Bess' hand shook as she unclasped the silver chain and dropped it into Dumbledore's hand.
"He said that we could place a portkey in there so I could use it at the right time," she said, holding her breath for a rebuttal like the one she'd given Sirius in the library.
Dumbledore stared down at the charm for a moment, am unreadable expression on his face. Suddenly, he smiled.
"Yes. Please inform Mr Black that I would like to see him in my office tomorrow afternoon. Say... three o'clock? Mr Potter is welcome to come along as well. Unfortunately I will have to extend the invitation no further. If I requested Mr Lupin's presence as well Mr Pettigrew might get suspicious."
"Of course. And me?"
"You deserve a break, Bess. Relax with your friends."
Bess couldn't help but feel a little disappointed to be left out, but she nodded nonetheless. She wanted Sirius and James to have the opportunity to have one on two time with the Headmaster. It would mean a lot to them to have his confidence.
"Speaking of Mr Pettigrew," Dumbledore added quietly. "His birthday is coming up, is it not?"
"Yes. Next Friday. The sixteenth," Bess replied. Nerves wracked her once more.
"You still haven't explained about his future to Messrs Black, Potter and Lupin, or to Miss Evans?"
Bess gulped and shook her head. "No, I didn't- I still don't think they need to know yet."
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "You would request that a traitor be added to the ranks of the Order?"
"He won't start spying until Harry's born... I think it'll be about a year before Voldemort kills James and Lily. So, yes, I think let him join. Keep an eye on him. Occasionally feed him wrong information to make sure that he's not spying yet, but keep him as close as possible. If I have my way, he will never betray anyone."
"You are a kinder soul than most."
"Well what else are we meant to do?" Bess asked shortly, her headache growing stronger still, sitting in the middle of her skull now. "They'll suspect something if Peter isn't asked to join when he turns seventeen. They still have another year at school, and my intention has always been to protect them all. That includes protecting them from having to cut out a friend who at the moment hasn't done anything wrong."
"I must ask. You have been growing closer to him. Do you trust him now?" Dumbledore asked.
"God no," Bess replied without hesitation. "Honestly, he makes my skin crawl. But if I can save the boys that heartache, I will. I'm not saying to trust him, but until summer nineteen-eighty, he'll be on our side. If it comes to it and we have to, we can use his spying to our advantage."
"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?"
"Isn't that what you're doing by allowing Death Eaters to roam the halls of Hogwarts?" Bess asked, raising an eyebrow.
Dumbledore merely nodded. "Alastor thought the same and I am inclined to agree with you both. It would be safer to be able to keep an eye on him."
"You told Moody?" she asked in a shocked voice.
"Alastor is an old friend and an accomplished Auror. He will not betray our trust. He will keep an eye on Peter for us when he joins the Order this summer. Three pairs of eyes are better than two, after all."
"Yes, I suppose you're right," Bess replied as she scratched her left forearm. She winced slightly as she broke the skin, and looked down to see a long scratch.
She removed her wand from her pocket and began to wave it, whispering a healing incantation, but before she could finish she heard a squawk and a flash of gold and red as Dumbledore's phoenix, Fawkes, landed on her lap and stared down at her cut. Now a rather large size, Bess had had the pleasure of seeing him grow from a rather small bird all the way to adolescence. She'd barely spoken to the bird but had a soft spot for it, and it for her, as she had snuck it treats whenever she could in the past few meetings.
"It's not worth it, it's just a small one," she whispered, stroking the bird with her other hand. Fawkes leant in and nuzzled her forearm, just over her scar. "Thank you, Fawkes, but you really should save your-" Bess' eyes widened a fraction and her eyes snapped to Dumbledore's. "Professor, can you bottle phoenix tears?"
xXx
A/N: Next chapter will start off from where this one left off, and within three chapters we'll be at the summer yay! I never intended for this to become such an action slow burn, but I've had it in my head that the story will essentially be split into different books or mini books and this is the first. After the summer will be the next one, and that'll be darker I think.
Thank you to all of my readers, followers and favouriters! And thank you to all of my reviewers, your words mean so much to me, and I will reply to them all tonight!: GhostClaw 001, CharlotteGryffindor, themugglepadme24, HorseGirl16, AvalonRivers, and Lewtam!