Chapter 54: Potatoes, Hairbrushes, and Julius Caesar

March 9th, 1994

Rome

"Hi, Liana," greeted Lily with a smile, as she saw her daughter in the queue to get some cereal. "How are you?"

Liana rolled her eyes. "Fine."

"You're going to sit with me and Dad at breakfast today, okay?"

"Come on, Mum," complained Liana. "I want to sit with my friends!"

"Liana, it's one breakfast," she said gently. "You spend the entire day with your friends. I haven't talked to you in days."

"Mum, just because you work at the school doesn't mean…"

"Liana."

Liana groaned. "Fine. Fine. I'll come. Happy?"

Lily suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. "Now, come over to where Dad is." She pointed to a table where James was setting down a plate. "Okay?"

Liana grumbled something inaudible.

Lily walked off in search of her son.

Harry was laughing at something Ron was saying, Hermione trying not to laugh behind them. She walked over to where they were with a smile.

"Good morning, Ron and Hermione," said Lily pleasantly. "How are you guys?"

"Good," answered Ron automatically.

"Fine," replied Hermione politely. "What about you?"

"Fine, thanks. Harry, do you think it would be okay if you came and had breakfast with us?"

Harry shrugged. "Sure. Bye, guys."

"See you, Harry," chanted Ron and Hermione.

Lily pointed Harry to the table where Liana was setting down her cereal with a scowl. He grabbed a banana and walked towards the table.

Soon enough, Lily, James, Harry, and a grumpy Liana had seated themselves at the table. Lily watched her daughter warily, who was picking at her cereal with an expression that showed that she would rather be anywhere but here.

"What have you guys been doing?" offered Harry, who didn't seem as upset as his sister.

"We just stayed on the ship the entire time," said Liana moodily.

James's eyes widened. "But why? The whole point is to get outside and explore the places we're visiting!"

"Too bad," snapped Liana. "We'll do what we want to do."

Lily turned to Harry. "What about you? What have you guys been doing?"

"We went whale-watching twice, which was terrible! We didn't even see a single whale! Ron thought we'd see five, and I said seven! But I didn't even see one. Why do they call it whale-watching if all it is is water-watching?"

James snorted and reached across the table to give Harry a high five.

"What did we do, James?" Lily turned to her husband. "I know we went to that art gallery, which you loved…"

"Hey!" James protested, as Harry and even Liana sniggered.

"Dad liked an art gallery?!" asked Liana incredulously.

"I didn't," replied James defiantly. "I just didn't hate it."

"You liar." Lily smacked his arm. "You literally told me you liked it."

"Yeah, but maybe I was just trying to make you feel better."

"You're a really bad liar, Dad," cut in Harry.

James rolled his eyes.

"Anyway," Lily said, "it's day four of the cruise already. What is this, like, twelve days?"

"Twelve days," affirmed James. "And today is day four."

"Yep," said Lily. "March the ninth." She exchanged a look with James and then turned to her children. "Do you guys want to know something?"

"No," said Liana moodily.

"I guess?" said Harry.

"All right, let me tell you anyway," replied Lily cheerfully. "Tomorrow's Professor Lupin's birthday, you know."

"Really?" asked Harry.

"Really?" asked Liana.

"Yeah." James grinned. "You guys should go around telling your friends. Maybe everyone can sing to him tomorrow morning."

Lily laughed. "He's going to be so embarrassed."

Liana rolled her eyes. "I know. Half of my friends are crazy about him. Like, I swear, Kylie sleeps with a picture of him under her pillow."

The Potters burst into laughter, earning some dirty looks from nearby tables.

"And everyone swoons over him like he's a celebrity." She rolled her eyes. "I mean yeah, he's cool, but he's not that cool."

"You just wait until I tell Remus this," James managed, still laughing.

"And Seamus asked him out," added Harry.

"Yeah, but that was a dare," said Liana. "I don't think Seamus actually likes him."

"We'll have to see about that one," muttered Harry.

"Ready, George?"

"Ready, Fred."

George adjusted his accordion so it was more comfortably strapped around his shoulders. Fred adjusted his purple hat.

"Let's go!" declared George and Fred together.

George started playing the accordion while Fred sang.

"Oh, ba-binky-ba-da-binky-ba-da-doo!

Dinky-ba-da-dinky-ba-da-doo!

Ba-binky-dinky-rinky-ba-da-binky-dinky-doo,

Dinky-dinky-dinky-da-da-doo."

A young girl came forward shyly and dropped a euro note into the hat that George had set out. Fred tipped his hat to thank the girl while George hit another great chord on the accordion.

"Oh, rinky-da-da-doo! Binky-ba-da-doo!

Dinky-binky-rinky-ba-da-bom-bom!

Bom! Bom! Rinky-dinky-doo!

Ba-da-dinky-dinky-dinky-da-da-doo."

By this point, several people had gathered around them, flicking coins and notes into the hat that George had laid out. A dog even came up to them and sat nearby, wagging its tail and listening intently.

Fred stopped singing for a moment to shout, "Thank you, everyone! Thank you! Does anyone have a request?"

Someone shouted, "The Cat Song!"

Fred turned to George. "What's the cat song?"

George shrugged. "We'll find out. For now, meow!"

"Meow, meow, meow, meow!" sang Fred.

"Woof woof, woof woof," added the dog helpfully.

"Meow, meow, meow, meow!" continued Fred.

"Woof woof, woof woof!" barked the dog.

Fred and George earned a lot of money that day.

Percy seemed very, very interested in the history of the Colosseum.

Penelope couldn't care less.

"Percy," she yawned, calling to her boyfriend who was intently reading a placard about the Colosseum. "Come on. Let's go to the next card. There are plenty of them for you to read."

"But… Penny, this is fascinating!" Percy was struggling to contain his excitement. "Look at this! The Colosseum was built in…"

"I don't care, Perce," said Penny lightly, running a hand through her hair. "This is boring. Come on."

Percy reluctantly allowed himself to be dragged to the next placard, where he started learning about Roman arenas.

"Gah," Penelope muttered, looking around the rest of the building with half-hearted interest.

She just wanted to get back to the ship, or maybe go shopping. There were plenty of nice souvenirs in Rome. And apparently they had nice pizza. Penelope wanted pizza, and some nice souvenirs.

"Percy, we're going shopping after this," she told him.

"What? Oh, it says here that…"

"Percy!" She slapped his shoulder to get his attention. "We're going to go shopping after this, okay?" she said. "This is so boring."

"But… But Penny! I don't like shopping! And how can you call this boring? Did you know that Julius Caesar…"

"No," she remarked dryly. "Come on, let's go to the next card. And yeah, we are going shopping after this. You wanted to come to the Colosseum, so here we are. I want to go shopping, so we will go shopping."

"I don't want to go shopping," complained Percy. "Can't you go shopping with some of your friends?"

"But that's not fair, I had to endure this boring Colosseum tour with you!"

"Penelope…"

"Percy…"

"Shopping is boring!"

"It's a hundred times better than this," she remarked, gesturing to the building around them.

"But…"

"What do you have in mind after this, anyway?" Penelope inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I was thinking we stay here until we have to get back to the ship," admitted Percy sheepishly.

Penelope gasped. "Percy, you can't expect me to hang out with you at this boring Colosseum all day! I have shopping to do! And I want to eat pizza! Italian pizza! It's going to be so much fun! Come on, Percy, you seriously can't make me read history cards all day!"

"How is this boring?!" Percy seemed surprised. "It's fascinating! Julius…"

"Yeah, yeah, Julius Caesar. Next card, Percy."

He grudgingly walked over to the next card in the line and started reading. "Hey! Did you know the Colosseum was built in…"

"But you learned all of this on the first card!" cried Penelope, glancing at the card Percy was reading.

The Colosseum was built from 70-80 AD.

"You've gotta be kidding me, that's what the first one said!" Penelope rolled her eyes. "This is useless! Next card!"

"But I didn't even read this one…"

"It's a repeat of the first one. Come on."

She dragged Percy on to the next card.

"Card 6 of 143," Percy read. "One of the seven wond…"

"A HUNDRED FORTY THREE?!" Penelope screamed.

"I know, not nearly enough." Percy shook his head sadly. "I guess we just have to reread them all… Hey, where are you going?"

"See ya, Percy!" shouted Penelope, walking backwards and away from him and the Colosseum. "I'm not spending the rest of my life in this miserable tour! In fact, I… oomph!"

She tripped over someone behind her and fell flat onto her back, tangled with two other bodies. Penelope turned around to inspect the damage and realized that she knew both of the people who she had tripped over.

"Ginny?" she asked, frowning. "Aren't you Percy's sister? And who's this blondie with you?"

"You're a blondie too," pointed out Ginny starkly. "And that's Luna."

"Cool. What are you guys doing here?" Penelope asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Checking out this place," replied Luna casually.

"Oh, yeah?" Penelope wasn't convinced. "What's it called, then?"

"Er…" stammered Ginny.

"Well…" said Luna.

"I forgot," replied Ginny. "But it doesn't matter. We're here for a history tour."

Penelope snorted. "Yeah, right. Only someone as boring as Percy would come on a history tour."

It was then that she noticed what Ginny was holding behind her back. "What's that?"

"What?" asked Luna innocently.

"That." Penelope snatched the thing from Ginny and inspected it. "A… A camera?" Her eyes widened when she realized what they were doing. "You guys are spying on us?"

"Not at all," replied Luna.

"That's right," replied Ginny at the same time. "We're spying. And we have plenty of proof to show Mum now!"

"Mrs. Weasley's going to shriek," laughed Luna.

The words 'Mrs. Weasley' seemed to have gotten Percy's attention. He turned around and ran towards them. "Hey! What about my mother?"

"Well," Ginny waved the camera in his face, "she's going to be very happy when she sees the evidence we've gotten for her."

"Evidence? What evidence?" He turned to Penelope, confused.

She rolled her eyes. "You dimwit, they've been spying on us. Don't tell me you guys have been spying on us since we got onto the cruise."

Ginny and Luna only smirked.

Percy's ears turned red and his fingers clenched into fists. "I'll get you little idiots for this! Mark my words!"

And he started chasing Ginny and Luna around the Colosseum like an angry rhino, leaving Penelope in splits.

"Ron, you never told us who you like," said Dean.

"Shut up. I don't like anyone." Ron crossed his arms over his chest just as Harry splashed him from behind, laughing. "Oi, mate!"

"Sorry!" called Harry.

Harry, Ron, Dean, Neville, and Seamus were all swimming in the large pool on the cruise ship, relaxing in the cool water.

"Come on, Ron, spit it out," said Dean. "Everyone likes someone."

"Not me!" cried Seamus gleefully.

"I'm sure you like someone, Seamus," Harry said, rolling his eyes.

"He's just upset because everyone knows he likes Cho," teased Ron, grinning.

"CHO?!"

All five of the boys startled at this, splashing each other so that water effectively got into their eyes, noses, and mouths, Neville screaming and jumping three feet into the air and landing back onto the surface of the water.

Ginny Weasley stood at the poolside, her hands on her hips, glaring at Harry.

"Who's Cho?" she snapped.

"Nobody," replied Harry, going red.

"She's got to be somebody," Neville squeaked.

Harry shot Neville a dirty look. "Thanks for helping out."

"Ginny, don't worry about it," Ron called to his sister. "It's not important who Cho is."

"Yes it is!" she shrieked, her flaming red hair blowing violently with the wind. "Who's this Cho?"

"She's a girl," replied Neville.

"On the Ravenclaw Quidditch team," added Seamus.

"She plays Seeker, just like Harry." Dean grinned.

Ginny's eyes went wide. "Harry, you like Cho Chang? The Ravenclaw fourth year Cho Chang?"

"No, of course not," mumbled Harry. "I don't like anybody."

"And all this time I thought it was Moaning Myrtle!" cried Ginny, throwing her hands up in the air. "I thought Moaning Myrtle was the one who you liked… but it's Cho Chang? How am I supposed to compete with Cho Chang?"

"Compete?" Dean, Seamus, and Neville stared at her blankly.

"She likes Harry," Ron muttered to them.

"Why me?" moaned Harry, wanting to hide underwater.

"Because you're the Boy Who Lived," supplied Seamus.

"And you're pretty handsome," added Neville.

"And you've got great friends… ouch!" said Ron, as Harry punched him in the arm.

"I'm sure Ginny doesn't like Harry because of you, Ron, she hates you," Dean remarked. "She probably likes him because he's famous. And a hero. And she has a crush on him."

"HEY!" Ginny shouted. "I'm still here, you know! It'd be nice if you guys could do all this gossipping behind my back instead of right in front of me!"

"Well, Ginny, tell us," replied Ron smugly. "Why do you like Harry?"

She glared at her brother. "It doesn't make a difference! Harry can go and snog Cho Chang! I don't like him at all! And you should stop being so mean to me!" she accused, pointing to Ron. "Because I happen to know something about who you like and who she likes!"

Ron's mouth dropped open. "You don't know who I like."

"You'd be surprised!" she cried. "But don't expect me to tell you, not after what you're doing to me!" And with that, she stalked off.

"Holy Merlin," muttered Dean, staring at her in awe. "Harry, you wouldn't do bad with her."

"Shut up," Seamus said, smirking. "Harry already likes Cho Chang."

"How on earth does she know who I like?" Ron whispered, dumbfounded.

Harry splashed him. "Get your head out of the clouds, mate. She was probably just guessing, that's all."

"But… But she might know!" said Ron nervously. "What if she actually knows who it is?"

"Better tell me, then," Harry said, smirking.

Ron splashed him. "Shut up. You'd kill me if you knew."

"As long as it's not Ginny…"

"EW!" shouted Ron. "That's disgusting! Ginny's my sister!"

"That's the whole point. I really wouldn't kill you otherwise." Harry swam off to Dean and Seamus and Neville, leaving Ron very, very confused.

"Sibyll, I would highly recommend not eating so many peppermints. Your mouth is going to smell all day." Minerva recoiled, scooting away from her partner.

"There's a reason I have so many peppermints," Trelawney answered smartly, popping one into her mouth. "Because I wish not to die. How many peppermints did you take?"

Minerva inspected her plate. "None. I don't like them."

Sybill let out such a loud gasp that startled several people nearby.

"Keep it down, will you?" hissed Minerva.

"You will not die!" gasped Trelawney.

"What a wonderful surprise," remarked Minerva idly.

"You will grow to be twenty-five and have seven children!" screamed Trelawney in a mysterious voice.

Minerva snorted. "I surpassed the age of twenty-five many, many years ago. And I have no children."

"Really?" Sybill frowned. "That cannot be true. Oh, I'm sorry Minerva, the Inner Eye lied! Let me do that again." She peered at McGonagall, who rolled her eyes.

"Why did I get stuck with you?" she complained.

"You will eat a potato!" announced Trelawney.

"Keep it down over there!" shouted someone from the next table.

Minerva glared at Trelawney.

"Hurry up and eat the potato already!" Trelawney cried impatiently, paying the people surrounding them no attention.

McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "You make your Inner Eye predictions come true by forcing people to do what you say?"

"That's right!" claimed Trelawney genially. "Now come on, eat up!"

McGonagall rolled her eyes and took a bite of potato.

Trelawney clapped her hands. "Wonderful! Wonderful! Bravo, bravo! THE INNER EYE'S PREDICTION CAME TRUE!"

"What a fraud," spat Severus from nearby, loud enough for Minerva to hear, as the entire WindJammer burst into laughter.

Remus emerged from the bathroom, adjusting his jacket, to find Tonks brushing her hair in front of a mirror diligently.

The two of them were going to a formal dinner tonight, which meant dressing up. He felt his mouth go dry at the sight of Tonks wearing a short, yellow dress and a black jacket on top, running a brush through her pink hair, something at which he couldn't help but smile.

She must have noticed him smiling, because she stopped, turning around to face him. "What?"

"You're a Metamorphmagus."

"No way."

"When you can just do your hair like that, why bother with the brush?" he inquired.

"Because I feel better if I do it the hard way," she explained. "Sometimes I feel lazy when I morph all the time, because other people have to do their hair by themselves. Especially Muggles. You know? But the problem is that because I've never bothered, I really don't know how brush my hair." She gave a small smile. "But at least I'm trying."

Remus walked over to where she was standing in front of the mirror and swiped the brush from her hand.

"Hey!" she protested.

"Calm down," he said gently. "Allow me."

"You know how to do hair?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"My mum taught me. Here." He held the hairbrush and slowly ran it through her bright pink locks, allowing her tresses to cascade gently over his fingers, feeling elated at the smile he saw on her face through the mirror.

Finally, he gathered her hair and tied it into a neat ponytail, planting a sweet kiss on the top of her hairline. His hand fell to her lower back as she inspected herself in the mirror.

"It looks nice," she said with a genuine smile. "I... actually look nice." She turned to him, still smiling. "Thank you!"

Remus slipped his arm around her slim waist and drew her closer to him. "You always look nice." He looked her up and down, enjoying his height advantage. "Do I really have to wait until after dinner?" he asked, rather distracted by the feeling of her body pressed against his.

Tonks let out a small laugh. "You think you can't wait?" she asked, running her fingers up and down his chest. "I have half a mind to skip dinner itself."

He smiled. "In that case, let's not disappoint."

He leaned down to meet her lips, engaging them in a languid, passionate affair.

After several minutes, she pulled away, breathless. "Shall we continue this when we get back?" she asked saucily.

"Absolutely," he replied.

He had a feeling he wasn't going to last dinner.

A/N: Honestly, the chapter title says it all. Thank you so much to all of you lovely reviewers!