A/N: strap in kiddos we're going in for a ride - and I know you've been waiting for this ride for a while now

Naboo was the perfect place in every little aspect.

The Naberrie state at Varykino was the embodiment of peace and harmony; despite the loud sound of family, tranquility reigned. The nature surrounding made everyone closer to the Force where they came from, regardless if they were Force sensitive or not.

It was quiet and it was reserved and it somehow enhanced everything.

Hence why, when the argument came up, Luke and Leia had been in accord like they rarely were — it had to happen in Naboo.

If they were to contact Anakin Skywalker again, it had to happen in Naboo.

The topic had been brought up tensely — by Padmé, nonetheless. She had come close to finding inner peace after resolving her issues with her family, but she wouldn't be fully healed until she had the chance to speak to Anakin again. She realized that any other person in the galaxy wouldn't have the chance to talk to the dead and were faded to accepting the deeds that the dead left upon them, but then — any other person in the galaxy wasn't related to Darth Vader.

So, Padmé approached the matter cautiously with the twins, after pulling them aside from the rest of the family — a task not so easy to do, as the family, especially Ruwee and Jobal, wanted to spend every second of every day with the three of them. When Padmé finally managed to drag the twins into the sunroom and spoke of the issue at hand, she wasn't received with eagerness.

Luke became static, and Leia shut herself off. Padmé articulately offered her arguments, explaining that the twins needed to have some closure regarding Anakin, too, and then sat back and waited for them to make their minds.

It took a long time for them to say anything. Padmé knew them to be discussing it through their mental connection and it only aggravated her anxiety whenever one of them would make an unexplainable face.

She expected them to say no, so when they said yes, her heart skipped a beat. When they each sat by her side in silent support, Padmé choked a sob and let it all out, surprised at her unexpected bust of emotion and unable to stop it.

They did not judge her, for she had never judged them when they were going through something. For this rare moment, their roles inverted and they provided her all the comfort she needed.

So, it had been established that they would — somehow — contact the Force ghost of Anakin Skywalker and provide the bridge between him and Padmé, although they weren't doing it for her only. The twins needed answers, too, as their last confrontation with Anakin had come at a time of turmoil and distress and only resulted in further anguish. This time, they would listen and they would stay strong, not only for Padmé but for themselves, because they were stronger than Vader — would always be.

They had settled a precise date — Leia's condition, as she needed the specifics to prepare herself. Luke amended that nothing could emotionally prepare her for that confrontation, but she was adamant. Padmé sided with her, under the premise that they should be well-rested and well-fed — not that that was an issue when under the wings of Jobal Naberrie — if they were going to encounter Anakin.

And agonize over it they did, until they were sitting out in the open meadows of Varykino, the purple rays of sunrise warming their skins. They had set out of the house just as the first light of the day broke through and walked down the grass field until they had found the perfect spot. Why was that the perfect spot, Padmé had no idea other than the twins had found a deep spiritual connection to it. So, they sat down next to a prairie of native flowers, and the burble of a river could be faintly heard in the distance; Luke removed his shoes to heighten his connection to the world that enveloped them, and Leia focused on the steady pattern of her breathing to fasten herself to the moment.

Padmé could do little more than sitting there quietly, observing every little occurrence and interaction between the twins without fully understanding what they were doing. They sat facing each other, while Padmé stayed to their side, directly in the middle of them, taking breath after breath and just — not getting in their way.

She didn't know when precisely did they descend deep into their state of meditation, but one moment she looked at them and they were gone; eyes closed, bodies impossibly still, postures held but relaxed. Padmé felt a warm energy surrounding her, one that she couldn't explain logically, and she knew them to be at peace.

Padmé knew that meditation for a Jedi — or, for a Force Sensitive being, simply — was intrinsically intimate and vulnerable, for they abdicated control of their physical bodies to become one with the shroud of energy that surrounded them. Because of that, meditating next to a nonsensitive person was a sign of unconditional trust, for not only they didn't view her as a threat, but they also placed their safeties in her hands.

Even though — there was no danger there at Varykino, she could tell as much. The only threat that could come to them was Vader himself.

Yet, they were doing it for her.

They had told her that it could not work, after all, they had no idea how they had contacted Anakin the first time, and when Luke had tried to do it a second time he hadn't been successful. Padmé's heart tugged at the idea that it could all be in vain, that she could be putting the twins under that strain for no effective result, but she tried her best not to reflect on her anxieties; when she couldn't connect herself to the Force, the best she could do was to remain as calm as possible so she wouldn't disturb or taint the peace of their meditation.

And that was all she did. She sat there for a very long time; breath in, breath out, watching the sun gradually rise and paint the skies from purple to blue. It was all she could do, and she would wait as long as it needed.

What she couldn't comprehend, however, was how the light around her suddenly dimmed out, almost like it was fading away and leaving the three of them behind. Her eyes widened as a hint of panic came over her.

She was well aware that she didn't have the monopoly on truth, but one thing she knew for certain — that wasn't normal.

She would have panicked under any other circumstances, but when she searched for the twins amidst her brief despair, she found them whole and serene next to her. Not only but they were also each holding one of her hands, like if they were trying to secure her to the same sphere as theirs, and Padmé didn't even know when they had established physical contact with her.

Still, she trusted them with her life, so she held them tight and didn't let go.

"The Force lives in all of us," Luke said, and she turned her head towards him to find him with his eyes still closed. "Although some of us are sensitive to it, have the power to touch it and manipulate it, it's not exclusive to us. The Force is part of every living being, the Force creates us and makes us whole."

"The Force, although passive, is strong with you," Leia said, and her voice missed her brother's warm tone. It was cold and calculated. "Luke and I came together to enhance the Force within you, to make it tangible for the time being. We gathered our power to pull you into the veil of the Force, so you'll be able to see and talk to Anakin, instead of having Luke and I serve as a mediator between the two of you."

Padmé's eyes started glowing sooner than she anticipated. She hadn't expected that of them, she hadn't foreseen that they would go out of their way to do the impossible just so she could see and speak to Anakin again.

She wanted to thank them for doing this for her just as she suddenly wanted to call it a day and put it all in the past, focusing instead only on her new life with her children.

"Don't let go, mother," Luke warned her, and she supposed that, now that they were in this empirical sphere, they were prone to reading her mind even better. "Only our link is holding you here."

"We also don't know how this works," Leia fairly advised. "We didn't even expect this to work, so we have no idea what might happen to you — or to us — if you were to abruptly disassociate from us."

Padmé swallowed roughly. "Right, of course. Are you — Are you sure this is safe? For you?"

"Yes," Luke assured. "The bridge between worlds was the toughest part of it, and we survived it all right."

"It requires a lot of energy to keep you here, so we don't know for how long we'll be able to keep this up," Leia objectively said. "I suggest you keep your mushy feelings for after you've dealt with the important stuff.

Padmé traded the urge to roll her eyes for an ironical chuckle — of course, it wouldn't be Leia if she hadn't thrown at least one derogatory comment towards her relationship with Anakin.

"How can you be certain he'll come to us?" she asked instead, "You said it, there's no guarantee—"

"He'll come," Luke put it simply. "You're here. He'll come."

Padmé accepted it with a hesitant nod, and the twins returned to their musings. Padmé didn't know whether they were meditating again or simply contemplating their quietude, so she let them be; holding strongly to them and leaving her eyes attentive to this strange world surrounding her.

And when the ghostly figure of her husband appeared before her, her fingers lost all their grip.

He looked the same, with his easy expression and lovely traits, yet he looked so different. Although he hadn't physically aged since the last time she saw him, he resembled older, with eyes that had seen and done so much and tiredness reflecting on his face.

He was the exact same man that she had fallen in love with, yet she struggled to recognize him.

"Anakin..?"

Her soft cry of his name awakened the twins to his presence, and Padmé knew just how hard it was for them not to let go either. She assumed it to be as difficult for them to be there as it was for her, or perhaps even more.

After all, they had never met Anakin. Only Vader.

They might have been aware of the Anakin name but they only knew Vader.

Anakin studied the face of his wife for a long time; silently, absorbing every little detail. Although she had physically changed, aged, Padmé was still the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes upon, and he was utterly mesmerized by her.

On a whim, he reached out for her and cupped her jawline with his hand. He rubbed his thumb on her cheeks in a loving gesture as tears surfaced both their eyes.

"It's true, then," Anakin cried, "You live."

It took every bit of her strength to stay put and not pull away to touch him. So, she leaned her head into his palm; his touch was gentle, almost invisible, but it was there and she could feel it, no matter how faintly.

"Anakin," she whimpered his name again. "I thought I would never see you again."

"I thought you were dead," Anakin admitted heavily. "Padmé, I thought I had killed you."

Padmé closed her eyes, yet tears ran down her cheeks anyway.

Anakin pulled back, at last recognizing it wasn't just them. It was his children, too; his family, the one he had dreamed of in his youth, the one that had haunted his every nightmare ever since his fall.

The four of them together for the first time, like it had always supposed to have been, yet it never was.

Because of him, it had never been.

His first logical decision was to turn to his son, after all, they had an easier bond — as far as easy could come when it came to him.

"Father," Luke greeted him politely, his voice fluctuating with his emotions. From one side, he was eager with the chance of speaking to his father, to the man he had dreamed about ever since he was a little boy; from the other, there was hesitation, dread even. The man next to him wasn't just his father, it was — Vader.

"Luke," Anakin gazed at him intently; trying to discern him with his own eyes, rather than Vader's. He had never had a chance to do that, not really. It had all happened so briefly at the Death Star, and the times he had come to him through the Force, there had always been other things that stole Luke's attention away — either the celebration for having defeated the Empire or his unconditional love for his sister.

"Father," he repeated, as there weren't any other existent words in his vocabulary at that moment.

But when Anakin offered him his hand, an invitation for them to become one just like Luke was with Padmé, Luke accepted it without a second thought. He took his father's hand and the circle was complete.

Well — almost.

Anakin then turned to his other child, and he didn't attempt a smile at her. He looked at her, yet he didn't study her as he had Luke or Padmé; no, he respected her enough not to invade her privacy, not without an invitation.

Instead, he extended his hand to her and left it lingering in the air. Waiting, just waiting for her to maybe take it.

Leia stared ahead of her; at Luke, yes, but her eyes darted right past him, into the unknown. She felt everybody's stare on her, and her lukewarm persona remained. She was there, but she was more of a ghost than Anakin himself.

She would not take Anakin's hand, and if the circle was broken because of her, then so be it.

Anakin understood it, accepted it, and brought his hand down to his knee.

"I'd just like to say," Anakin started, looking down, waggling his free hand, "Thank you for calling me here, for giving me the chance to be here and talk to you. You're under no obligation to come to me after — after everything that I've done, so it means a lot. That you'd give me the honor of seeing you."

"It is a privilege seeing you again, Ani," Padmé said, her voice flicking from cold when addressing him to warmth when referring to her children, "The twins made our confrontation somehow possible, so we owe it to them. You owe it to them again."

Anakin slightly chuckled. "The Force, even after all these years, never ceases to amaze me. The two of you — are very powerful. Of course you are, it runs in the family."

Luke blushed, and Leia took a deep breath not to lose her patience already.

"Ani," Padmé grounded him, "We're not here for pleasantries. The twins don't know for how long they'll be able to keep me here and… We need to talk."

Anakin nodded with a stern look. "Of course, I… It was foolish of me to think we could have a moment, as a family, just the four of us."

Padmé tilted her head. "Yes, it was."

Anakin smiled awkwardly.

"Is that what you want, Anakin?" Padmé demanded from him. "Is that what you wanted? A family?"

He bit down on his lip anxiously. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes."

The sound of Leia's voice startled everybody, as she had been so quiet and silent until then that her presence had almost been forgotten. Anakin dared to look at her, even though her gaze was still lost past Luke.

"If you truly desired a family, your efforts would go into making the galaxy a safer place for your children, for your family to live in," Leia denounced, "Not the other way around."

"I understand why you would feel that way—"

"Why I would feel that way?!" Leia spat out, "You've got audacity, I'll give you that."

"Leia," Anakin placated, "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but everything that I did — I did for you. For you, for your brother, for your brother. I did everything I deemed necessary so I could keep you safe."

"Safety provided by fear and oppression isn't safety. It's fascism—"

"Leia," Padmé gently called her name, and Leia lowered her head. Not in shame, but in a fit of understanding anger that this wasn't about her.

This was about Padmé confronting the man she had once pledged her life to, before that same man betrayed the entire universe.

"That's why we're here," Padmé said in a small voice. "Ani, we're just trying to understand."

Anakin sighed.

"It's not much," Padmé continued, "After everything that you did, we're entitled to at least an explanation. Anakin… You were a good man."

"We all know the story all right," Luke broke his silence. "You say that everything you did, you did to save us — and I believe that. I know it to be true because, in the end, that's how you came back to the light. You saved me. That said, it's also difficult to understand why someone with so much love inside him would have the heart to cause so much ruin."

"I understand," Anakin accepted the chastening with his head down. "However, in the grand scheme of things, I hardly think that an explanation would compensate for my actions."

"It wouldn't," Leia guaranteed coldly. "However, you owe them as much."

Anakin pointed his chin at her. "Them? I don't owe you anything?"

"I don't want anything from you," she made it perfectly clear. "Padmé and Luke — they loved you, unconditionally loved you, and you not only hurt them but you also betrayed that trust they had on you. An explanation might not fix what you've done, but… It might help them heal."

Luke looked at his father expectantly while Padmé struggled to make eye contact.

"For what it's worth," Anakin searched for Padmé's eyes. "After I was told that you had died, that I… had killed my wife and my unborn children, there was nothing left for me. Nothing mattered anymore because my whole world was gone. I had nothing to look forward to, nothing to go on for. Anakin… died, alongside Padmé and my children. I became a shell of a man, and I couldn't go back. I couldn't go forward but I couldn't go back, either."

Padmé's eyes became filled with her tears.

"You were told you had killed your wife and your children," she spoke gravely, "Ani, regardless that the three of us are still alive, that's what you did. You chose your power over your love for us, and if that wasn't enough, you used your power against us. Anakin, not only did you break my heart but you tried to kill us. You left me for dead. You chose to become this shell of a man long before someone told you we were dead."

"I was conflicted—"

"Conflicted?!" Padmé didn't allow him to talk. "You are conflicted about a political decision, you are conflicted about going somewhere, you are conflicted about which new speeder to buy. You are not conflicted about killing the mother of your children! That is a decision you made, and you don't get to try and justify it."

"I'm not," Anakin responded firmly, "But you asked for an explanation, and that is all I can give you."

"Then explain to us, Father," Luke asked hoarsely. "Explain why. What led to your fall. You say that love was responsible for it and that's hard to accept because love should never be the cause for such terrible things."

"It's ludicrous to claim you were doing it in the name of love when you tried to destroy the very person you swore to protect," Leia harshly denounced.

"The dark side, you can't truly understand it—"

"We understand the dark side all right," the daughter snapped. "All three of us, we've experienced the wrath of the dark side under your hands."

"No, Leia," Anakin shook his head, "You can't understand how corruptive the dark side is until you've pledged yourself to it. It takes, and it takes, and it takes, and even though it offers you everything, you're always left yearning for more. When Padmé confronted me and said she couldn't stand with me, with the person I had become, my love for her no longer felt enough. And in a moment of weakness, of hatred, of darkness, the only logical choice was to destroy those who wouldn't stand with me, no matter how much I loved them. Obi-wan, Padmé, Luke, you… I destroyed you all."

Leia huffed.

"We can agree on that much," she said when Luke and Padmé were struggling with the things they were hearing. It would seem she was the only one still acting rationally.

"Leia, please," Luke snapped at his sister, his voice on edge. Leia shrugged but did him the courtesy of remaining silent. "Father — You said that Anakin only died after you learned that the three of us were dead. Does that mean… was there still a chance for you if you only knew we were still alive? Could you… have come back?"

"I don't know, Luke," Anakin admitted. "I can't speak for things that never were."

"You said you were still conflicted," Luke cried, desperate and grasping at straws. Unlike Padmé, he saw Anakin's conflict as a sign of hope.

"I was," Anakin nodded. "I didn't turn to darkness because I made a choice. I turned to darkness because… I was desperate, and I saw no other path to save those I loved."

"Without realizing that the path you chose was your own undoing," Padmé inferred in a whisper. "Anakin, how could you be so stupid?"

At that, Anakin laughed.

"I was in love, and I was terrified of losing you, like I had lost my mother," he explained, "The consequences didn't matter to me so long as I got to save you."

"But you didn't," Padmé said. "You couldn't save us. Instead, you threatened us, and the three of us had to be separated and hidden away for our protection. From you, Ani. Had you known that any of us were alive, you would have tracked us down and killed us. Wouldn't you?"

"I like to believe I wouldn't," Anakin declared softly. "But Palpatine was in complete control of me, so he would have probably manipulated me into destroying you."

"Manipulating you?!" Leia spat out the word with disgust. "So this is your defense? That you never had free will?! That Palpatine was pulling your strings all along?!"

"In the end, I'm afraid it all comes down to that."

"Well, I'm afraid that's bullshit," Leia decided. "Don't you have any liability?"

"Leia," Luke grunted her name again. "I want to understand my past. I want to hear from Anakin exactly what his reasons were, no matter how hard it is to hear them. Can you respect that, Leia?"

Leia pouted her lips, saying nothing.

"So you're saying it was all Papatine's doing," Luke inferred. "Why? How?"

"Palpatine was very strong with the dark side of the Force. He could predict the future like I had never seen from any other Force wielder, not even from Master Yoda," Anakin disclosed, and Luke slightly lit up at the mention of his old master. "He knew precisely which pawns to move to achieve absolute power for himself, and, as the Chosen One, he knew he needed to lure me and my powers for his benefit. And he knew precisely how to manipulate me into turning to the dark side — with the promise of the power to save Padmé from death."

"Nobody is that powerful, Ani," Padmé lamented. "You should have known better."

"Nobody?" Anakin arched up one of his eyebrows. "They are."

He gestured his free hand at the twins. Luke became tense as Leia physically flinched back.

"How—How do you know about that?" Luke asked.

"I know quite a lot about the Force," he said seriously, then attempted a laugh. "You're also my children. I pay close attention to what those I love are up to, even if they can't see me, or know that I'm there for them."

"Wait," Leia stopped him abruptly as color vanished from her face. "What?! You're saying — You're saying that you spy on us? That — that you uninvitedly invade our personal lives?!"

Anakin swallowed uncomfortably. "I don't — spy, not really. I just watch from afar everything that my family is up, everything that my family is achieving."

"No. No," Leia cried hoarsely. "You don't get to pry on our affairs, not without — our consent! What makes you think you're so entitled to our lives? Haven't you disrupted our peace enough?!"

"Leia," Luke once again found himself saying her name. He just wanted his sister to give him the chance to talk to his father without her demonizing him.

Leia's eyes glowed with her brother's chastening, and she no longer could look at him either. Her chest started exploding with oxygen and her grasp on Padmé's hand became weak.

"All I ever wanted was a family to love and to call my own," Anakin continued. "I couldn't do it while in life, but I can guard you from afar in death. And it feels almost enough, even though it'll never be, because in death… I don't get to have you."

A single tear ran down Luke's cheek. Leia's face twitched and trembled, but for reasons entirely different from her brother's.

Padmé, however, remained indifferent. It surprised even herself how collected she was when facing him again, but as she stood there, she learned she had different purposes in life than in the last time she saw Anakin in flesh and blood.

"Luke," she called him first. "Nobody here is undermining the hole inside of you left from your father and I's abandonment of you. Okay?"

Luke frowned, confused. "I'd never think—"

"Good. Keep that in mind," she said firmly and turned to her husband. "Anakin. Promise you'll never — spy on Leia again, even if she can't see it."

"What?!"

"Ani, give your word."

"I — I promise."

"Thank you," she turned to Leia at last. "Leia, breathe."

Leia vigorously nodded, unconsciously leaning closer to Padmé to escape Anakin. Padmé tightened her fingers around Leia's hand.

Once she thought she had every little fire contained, Padmé dared to look at Anakin again.

"The twins can only save someone from death if they sacrifice their own lives," she explained as Ahsoka had told them. "Could you have done it, Ani? Could you have spared your life if it meant saving ours?"

He didn't miss the accusatory tone in her voice.

"Well… That's what I did in the end," he stated. "I gave up my life to save Luke from Palpatine."

Right — Padmé had forgotten about it, so she lowered her head.

"I know I've done terrible things," Anakin continued. "I don't expect to be forgiven for them. But… Is it so hard to believe I was once a good person?"

"Sometimes, it is," Luke said, surprising them all. "We know it because we've seen it for our own eyes. But it's so hard sometimes, Father, to look past everything you've done to us to find the good inside of you."

"I understand," Anakin whispered. "I understand that it's unfair of me to ask you to look past my deeds. But you want to understand too, and the terrible truth is that Palpatine exploited the goodness in my heart until I no longer had a heart."

Padmé took a long breath.

"Okay… Okay, then. Explain to us how Palpatine seduced you," Padmé asked, "Explain to us why suddenly Palpatine was more important than us."

"Okay," he clicked his tongue. "Everything I've said so far is true. Palpatine deceived me with the promise that he could save you, Padmé. And by saving Padmé, he would also save my children. I was desperate, I was being tempted with my nightmares of losing you every single night, and… I didn't know what to do, other than that I was willing to do everything to save you."

"Nobody is that powerful," Leia commented, despite Ahsoka's rambling of how she and her brother were a dyad and that they were powerful enough to save someone from death. Maybe, she said because of it; because, despite that alleged power of hers, she had still been doomed to lose everyone she had ever lost. She looked at Anakin for the first time with her eyes of death, and accused, "Not even you."

"Well," Anakin tilted his head, "You are."

"We are not," Leia established. "History would have gone a lot differently if we were."

"I suppose," Anakin smiled shyly. "But other people don't truly know what it's like to experience the fear of losing someone they love unless they've already gone through that," he gazed at Leia expectantly, only to have her end their visual contact again. He accepted it gracefully. "By the time I had formed a family with Padmé, I had already lost my mother twice. My mother was my entire world, and I was forced to leave my world behind when the Jedi found me and freed me from slavery. They could not free her too, and when I finally came back for her, it was too late. She had been kidnapped and tortured, and she only lived long enough to die in my arms."

"Shmi?" Luke asked. "Shmi Skywalker?"

"Yes," Anakin nodded, a little surprised that he knew of her.

"She was buried next to the moisture farm," Luke reminisced, "Aunt Beru would tell me stories about her. She seemed like a marvelous person."

"She was," Anakin agreed sadly; even after all these years, the wound in his heart still hadn't completely healed. "She made me feel safe when safety didn't exist — not when you were a slave. Leaving her behind after I gained my freedom was the hardest thing I'd ever done."

Luke sadly nodded; Leia's hands began to tremble as she was reminded what Anakin Skywalker had been born a slave.

"Did she die a slave?" Leia asked.

"No," Anakin said and a sense of relief could be heard in his voice. "She was bought, freed, and then married off."

Leia flustered her lashes at him. "That's a different form of slavery, but it's slavery nonetheless if she was forced to marry him to obtain some sense of freedom."

"As far as I'm aware, my mother loved her husband," Anakin guaranteed. "She had not loved another being after I left, so it makes me thrilled that she would eventually find someone to go on for. Find someone to have comfort on."

"From the stories that Aunt Beru would tell me, I think she was happy," Luke said. "As a child, I loved playing next to her grave. It made me feel — safe, she made me feel like I had once belonged somewhere."

"My mother loved Padmé," Anakin said with a proud smirk. "She would have loved her grandchildren, too."

Leia shivered; wondering if Shmi Skywalker was a person she would have liked to meet.

Wondering how Shmi Skywalker would have felt knowing that the little boy she sent off to become a Jedi became a monster instead.

"She was murdered…?" Leia arched a brow, recollecting what he had said.

"Yes," Anakin responded, but his voice barely made it past his lips. "She was kidnapped and tortured. I came to rescue her but I was too late. She died in my arms, and that last image of her haunts me. I never truly recovered from my mother's death and I refused to have Padmé stolen from me like that."

"So when Palpatine came to you making promises of saving my mother," Luke prompted, "You didn't see any other way."

"I did not," Anakin whispered. "He came to me long before we knew he was a Sith. He approached me and befriended me during the Clone Wars, so as the war came to an end, he not only promised me he could save the ones I loved, but he helped me rise in rank with the Jedi — and that was all I truly wanted. I was the youngest Jedi to be accepted into the Jedi Council, as Palpatine had requested, and today I can see that he didn't do it because he thought me worthy; no, he wanted me there against the approval of the Jedi Council itself, to have them treat me coldly as they didn't want me there, to augment the tension between me and the Jedi until I turned against the Jedi on his name."

Padmé looked at him intently, as she was hearing the story for the first time, despite living through it. But Anakin had been so different, so secretive back then that she was only first learning about everything that had actually happened.

"So you — turned against the Jedi out of your own will," Luke stuttered.

"I did, Luke," Anakin shamefully confessed. "I had a choice to make. Stand with the Jedi or save Padmé. I chose Padmé over everything I had pledged myself to."

"No, Ani," Padmé muttered softly. "You chose your love for power over your love for me."

"The — The dark side had already started to corrupt me by then," he said, "But when I made my choice, I made it for you, and for my children."

"You wanted me to betray everything that I stood for and build a new empire with you," Padmé reminisced, tears in her eyes and voice. "You chose the dark side over your own family."

"I did," he lamented, "And I endured the consequences of my choices every day for the rest of my life."

"What consequences—"

"I no longer had you, Padmé!" Anakin cried. "That is the greatest penance I ever suffered. You were the love of my life, Padmé. Losing you hurt."

Tears were streaming down Padmé's face freely. "I don't think it hurt enough. If it had, you would have channeled your pain and fought for the democracy that I died trying to save."

"It's complicated—"

"It's not!" Padmé shouted. "It's not complicated at all. There is only the choice between doing good or bringing fear and destruction wherever you go! You chose the latter, Ani…!"

"Palpatine did everything in his power to make me his puppet. After I was left for dead on Mustafar, burning to death, I sustained injuries that would scar me for life, and instead of treating me for them, Palpatine… trapped me within them. Within the suit. The armor I wore kept me alive, but it also enslaved me. I was always in constant physical pain as the suit was uncomfortable and purposefully so, because Palpatine never wanted me to reach my full potential. Or, he dreaded that I would break free. I was constantly aware of my pain, and because I couldn't escape it, I welcomed it. My pain fed my hatred, and my hatred fed my strength. I was a slave of Palpatine's, of the suit, and of myself. As I'm sure the three of you are aware, I was a child slave, and, sometimes, we cling to old unhealthy habits. Slavery was once everything I ever knew, then slavery became me. Only this time, I was both the master and the captive."

"That sounds like a lot of excuses," Padmé sounded broken.

"So maybe they are," Anakin resented. "That's why you came here for, isn't it? To hear my side. Not to forgive me."

"We are trying to understand," Luke answered coolly. "You'll have to forgive us when it's a little hard to."

Leia rolled her eyes. "Don't apologize to him. You don't owe him shit, Luke."

"I owe him my life, Leia," Luke pointed out angrily. "If it wasn't for Anakin, I would be dead."

"At what cost, Luke?!" Leia yelled back. "One good deed at the very end of his life doesn't erase all the things that he did! All the harm that he willingly brought to the galaxy!"

"Weren't you listening to everything he was saying?" Luke snapped, "Palpatine manipulated him. Palpatine enslaved him."

"I was listening to everything, and I didn't tune out to the things I didn't want to hear!"

"No, Leia, you heard exactly what you wanted to hear—"

"—That he enslaved the galaxy out of his own free will as a means to ignore his own pain!"

"Aren't you the one to talk about ignoring one's pain, right, Leia?"

Leia fumed. "You did not just compare me to a fucking genocider…!"

Padmé only didn't bring her hands to her temple because she was physically restricted; if that was how their every argument went about, she was actually glad that they kept it to their mental connection.

"You are not a genocider, Leia," Luke soothed his voice, as he knew that most days — Leia did consider herself one. "But we came here to understand, and you're refusing to do as much."

Her eyes started sparkling. "Can you blame you, Luke?"

"I don't blame you, Leia," he responded, "But why do you blame me for wanting to reconnect to my father? The man that I worshipped ever since I was a child? Why can't I have the chance to understand why I was ditched at birth, left with a family that barely loved me?!"

"Because, Luke," she spoke gravely, "I think you try too hard to find an outlet on a man who only brought you misery."

"Not all of us had the chance to grow up with loving parents, Leia."

Leia shook her head. "You expect too much from a guy who tried to kill you while you were still in the womb and upon learning that he hadn't succeeded, he made a point of making your life a living hell."

Anakin started nervously chuckling.

Leia snapped her neck towards him again, "And what the fuck are you laughing about?!"

He did not stop. "It's just that — you talk about me like I wasn't sitting right next to you."

She left her glare on him. "Your presence here isn't easy to be ignored or forgotten."

Anakin grit his teeth together. "Well, Leia. Why are you here?"

"Because I love my brother and my mother and they needed me to complete the bridge between you and the physical world," she coldly replied. "I don't want anything from you."

"I think," Padmé abruptly started speaking again, "That Leia brings up something that we seriously need to talk about."

Both Luke and Anakin stared at her warily.

"I'm not here to talk about your — genocide tendencies," she uttered, making a face at her own words. "However, we do have to discuss the things that you did — to my children."

She emphasized her pronoun choice and hoped her message was clear enough; her children would never belong to him.

"Okay," Anakin hesitantly conceded. "What do you want to know?"

"What I want to—for Sith's sake, Anakin, I don't need you to tell me anything. I already know, alright?" she gesticulated angrily with her hands, inevitably moving their hands with hers. "I know everything that you did to them."

"Then what do you want me to say, Padmé?" Anakin honestly asked. "I, too, know precisely what I did to them, to my own children, the blood of my blood. I don't take my actions for granted, but I can't undo them, I can't change the past."

"Oh. Good, Anakin. It does take a weight off my chest to know you don't take it for granted," Padmé rebuked sarcastically. "Do you at least regret the things you did?"

"There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of the atrocities I committed," he admitted. "And I will never forgive myself for them."

Padmé looked at him angrily. "Answer my question, Anakin."

"It's… Complicated, Padmé."

"No, it's fucking not," Padmé spat out. "There's no philosophical debate here. You either regret it or you don't. It's the simplest question that's been asked of you today."

Anakin sighed. "The man I am today regrets it, is repulsed by it. But the person I was back then? I didn't even bat an eye at it. I had a clear goal in my mind and I was willing to do everything necessary to achieve it, and if anybody stood in my way — then they would suffer under my ire. Had I still been consumed by the dark side, I would have done it all again. But that's not the answer you want to hear, is it."

Her heart was beating fast inside her chest.

"No, it's not."

"I truly am sorry," he said, "I can't lie to you, Padmé. I've already deceived you enough in one lifetime."

She ironically huffed. "Are you sorry for what you've done or are you sorry you just can't give me the answers I want?"

Anakin patronizingly tilted his head at her. "I'm sorry for all the hearts I broke, including the hearts of my family."

"We're not a family, Anakin!" Padmé shouted. "You made choices that impeded us from ever becoming a family."

"Like I said, Palpatine—"

"Yeah, I heard you," she grunted. "They were still your choices."

"So they were," Anakin nodded. "But is it so hard to understand them? To understand that resolution to do everything in your power to save those you love, even if it threatens your own morality?"

"Yes," Leia whispered, "It is."

Anakin looked at her with pitiful eyes. "Then you, and your brother, and your mother are better persons than I could have ever been."

Leia snorted. "You think?!"

Padmé rubbed her thumb against Leia's hand, preventing her from slipping away.

"When I first met the twins, I was posed a dilemma," Padmé prompted. "Would I forgive you, being remotely aware of the things that you did under the Vader name but that, in the end, you restored the light within you? Would I still be able to look back at the life we led and say that I loved you?"

He gazed at her expectantly.

"The answer came to me all too easy — of course I would. Anakin was the only man I ever truly loved, Anakin gave me my children, Anakin atoned for his mistakes by coming back to the light. I could forgive him for the things he did to me because, in the very end, he made everything right again by killing Palpatine and saving Luke. Right?"

Anakin lowered his head, tears glimpsing in his very eyes.

"I can forgive you for the crimes you committed against me. They happened to me, therefore only I am entitled to choose when to blame and when to forgive," Padmé argued. "Anakin, I forgive you for turning your rage towards me and trying to kill me. However, I will never, ever forgive you for all the crimes you committed against — them. And that includes your attempt at killing them while they were still in my womb."

Her voice started to break and her lips trembled. Sitting there, confronting Anakin, her heart ached as it had never before.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness, Padmé."

"You don't," Padmé concurred. "I forgive you, Anakin, because you were once my entire world. You were everything to me, Ani…! And it hurts to know that while you were enough for me, my love was never enough for you. Because it should have been. People die, that's the natural path of the universe, and if I were supposed to die during childbirth, I would have accepted it gracefully. I would because I knew you would be there to take care of our children. What isn't right, however, is stealing people of their lives before their journey has reached its natural end. Regardless of your excuses or reasons, Ani, that was never right. Nobody is hurt enough that they must hurt other people to survive."

Anakin pressed his lips together. "I know."

"For that, I will never forgive you. If Luke or Leia ever find the peace within themselves to forgive you — which I highly doubt will ever happen — then they'll have my support and my understanding, but don't ever expect that absolution from me."

"I don't," he certified. "I don't expect you, or the twins, to absolve me. I have wronged you all."

"You have," Padmé said coldly, unaware of how tightly she was holding to the twins' hands. "You — you amputated Luke and you tormented him so much that he preferred to jump into the abyss to his death than to face you! You did all that while already aware that he was your son!"

"I knew that Luke was my son all right," Anakin concurred, "But little did that matter when I was, by all means, dead inside. My bloodline to Luke was irrelevant other than for the power we could achieve together."

"You chose to do despicable things to him, despite knowing that he came from me," Padmé accused. "You said you became a shell of a man after I died, yet not even the living reminder of our love for each other stopped you from hurting him. Your own son, Anakin…!"

"Anakin was dead," he said. "I like to believe that I atoned for all the hurt I caused my son by saving him from Palpatine, but I understand that that isn't enough. Won't ever be."

"It is for me," Luke spoke softly. "My father came back to save me, just like I had dreamed he would come back to save me from Tatooine while I was a child. Like Padmé said, forgiving the harm you've done for me has to come from my own heart, so — my heart forgives you, Anakin. Because you saved me when you were corrupted with darkness inside, because you chose to find the light within again. But I will never forgive Vader, or ask for anybody else to forgive you. Father, not only did you taint the entire galaxy but, on a more selfish note, you stole me of the family I was meant to have. That hurts more than all the physical pain you brought me."

"I understand," Anakin accepted hoarsely, "I am sorry for ruining your life. You were always meant to achieve greater things than Tatooine."

Luke bowed his head, saying nothing else.

Padmé watched silently as they worked around their issues, and waited briefly for either to start speaking again. When she was certain they wouldn't, her voice became loud and imposing again.

"Anakin, you… You tortured Leia and you violated her mind," she reminded him, knowing Leia to become pale next to her. Knowing that, because Leia rarely spoke about her torments in the presence of others, that was a battle she would willingly fight on her daughter's behalf. "And when that wasn't enough, you made her watch as you blew up her planet."

"I know," Anakin said. "I didn't know Leia was my daughter."

She raised her brows at him. "Because you would have done differently if you knew?!"

"Probably not," he answered distantly. "Like I said, I had a goal and Leia was getting on my way. I would have done everything necessary to obtain the information I needed."

"Including torture," Padmé spat, "And genocide."

Anakin uncomfortably laughed. "Not the first time I had tortured or committed genocide. Neither was it the last."

Padmé shook her head. "She carries the scars of what you did to her that day on her body and on her soul, Anakin. How can you look back and speak of it like it never mattered at all?"

"Because, Padmé," his voice trembled, "Torturing her, violating her mind, destroying Alderaan — I never lost any sleep over the atrocities I committed. I never hated myself for what I did, I only hated her, because no matter how much I hurt her, she still wouldn't give me the information I required. And the more I hated her, the more I was determined to hurt her for my causes."

Her eyes sparkled again. "She's stronger than you could ever be."

Anakin slowly nodded. "I know."

"Did you ever count?"

Leia's sudden voice startled them all. When they dared to look at her, they saw the wet paths on both her cheek, ones that she didn't bother to weep away.

"Count… Count what?" Anakin stuttered.

Leia pierced his soul with the intensity of her glare.

"Did you ever count how many children there were on Alderaan that day?"

Anakin's face fell. "I… I have absolutely no idea, Leia."

Tears escaped her eyes without control. "Four years since the disaster happened and you never even wondered how many there were. You never once counted."

"I…" he pressed his free hand on his knee. "What would be the point? They are dead. They were all… killed."

"586 million," Leia responded, her voice fluctuating through several distinct pitches. "586 million children on Alderaan that day and you killed them all."

"I did," Anakin answered shamefully.

"How could you live with yourself?" Leia demanded, her whole body shaking. "Never mind the men and the women and the fauna and the flora and the landscape that you obliterated. 586 million innocent children that had their whole lives ahead of them, just like you were an innocent child when terrible people enslaved you. You got a chance to become someone, why couldn't you have given them the same chance? You just — murdered them."

He nodded again. "I know, Leia."

"You don't know!" she yelled. "They were just innocent children. I was just a child. I was only nineteen when you tortured me until I couldn't breathe, and as if that wasn't enough, you killed Alderaan right in front of me and you held me by the shoulder so tightly to force me to watch that I had bruises on me for weeks. And as if that wasn't enough, I still hear the screams and I still feel the explosion on my skin every night in my dreams," her voice faded out, "I was just a child when you took everything from me."

"I am sorry, Leia," Anakin spoke from the bottle of his heart. "If I could undo everything I did against you, I would."

"No, you wouldn't," she said hoarsely. "You said you wouldn't."

"Vader wouldn't," Anakin clarified, "Anakin would."

Leia shook her head. "That doesn't mean anything to me. Vader, Anakin, whatever name you carry. You're nothing but a monster to me."

He assented. "You don't owe your mother or your brother your forgiveness of me."

"Good," she pursued her lips on a thin line, "Because I won't ever forgive you."

"I understand," he said. "But Leia?"

"What?!"

"Don't waste your life hating me."

Leia huffed. "My hatred for you fuels me. My hatred got me through the war against you."

"The war is over," he reminded her, "It might have fueled you back then, but it'll corrupt you inside if you dedicate your life to hating me. Don't be like me, let go of your hatred, Leia."

Her breathing became heavy. "Letting go of my hatred for you won't heal me. It won't bring back Alderaan."

"It won't," he acceded. "But it will help you breathe easier. It'll help you live better."

She ran the back of her hand against her wet cheek. "How do you know that?"

"Because the moment I reconciled myself to the light, it all made sense again," Anakin said. "I could breathe easier, too."

Leia tilted her head. "I thought you died of asphyxia immediately after that."

Luke rolled his eyes, but to his surprise — Anakin laughed.

"I did," he said, chuckling. "Minutes before that, though, I breathed all right."

Against all odds — Leia chucked too.

"I… I will do my best to let go of my hatred," she hesitantly said. "I still don't like you."

"Some things are always meant to be," he waved his hand. Yet, despite everything that had been said, Anakin reached out and touched Leia's knee. He saw and felt her shivering, but she didn't pull away, so neither did he.

Believing she had achieved some of the closure that this visit had promised her, Leia turned her head back to Padmé. Luke did the same.

Padmé felt their stares on her, yet her own eyes couldn't leave Anakin.

"All right then," she said. "I guess we've covered it all."

"Did you find what you came here for?"

His words were the same from when Luke and Leia had first — and accidentally — made contact with him. He remembered them to be struggling back then, and he could feel their uneasiness at that moment as well. He knew that he would never be able to right his past self, however, he strongly hoped that their encounter could provide them with what they needed and sought.

In the end, that was all he could do to atone for the family he had destroyed.

"I wanted to see you one last time," Padmé said. "I wanted… To confront you. I needed to find some resolution."

"Were you successful on your quest?"

"I think I was," she confessed. "There's still so much I don't understand, that I never will, but I think — that I'm okay with that. I think I can now move on without the burden of the past."

Anakin nodded.

"Padmé, I truly am sorry for everything that you lost because of me," he asked for forgiveness. "It does take a burden off my own chest to know that you're still alive, and that you had a chance to find our children and look after them. You always deserved the best that life had to offer, even if I tried to stole it from you."

Padmé fought the urge to correct that he hadn't only tried but succeeded. After all, she had come there to find a resolution, not to hold grudges over the past.

Like Leia, she needed to learn to let go.

"Thank you. The three of you, thank you for coming to me. I know I will never atone for my mistakes, not with you or with the rest of the galaxy, but… You were willing to listen to me, and that means a lot."

Luke dropped his gaze to his lap. "Will we ever see you again?"

Anakin shrugged. "You know how to find me."

"Yeah, but…" he cleared his throat, "I haven't always been able to contact you."

Anakin smiled weakly at him. "You know how to find me, when you need me."

He sighed. "What about when I don't necessarily need you, but I still need you?"

"Then you'll have to count on your mother and your sister to guide you home."

Luke turned to Padmé with a shy smile to find her already smiling at him. When he looked at his sister, he found solace in her eyes.

"You should go," Anakin said, "Maintaining yourselves and your mother in the Force realm will drain most of your energies."

Padmé looked at him. "I will never see you again, Ani."

"No," he lamented, although his halo was serene. "But it's okay, Padmé. You don't need to see me to remember me."

"I don't," she conceded. "I… I miss you, Ani. I truly do."

"I know," he said. "But when you miss me the most, just look at them. You'll find me on them all right."

"I know," she reiterated, suddenly feeling herself light. She looked at the twins and noticed that, alongside her, they were starting to fade. "Ani?"

Anakin let go of Luke's hand and pulled his other hand away from Leia. He looked at Padmé and his eyes were full of love.

"I love you, Padmé."

She closed her eyes, yet tears still escaped them.

"I know."

Whether Anakin had had the chance to hear her, she would never know, for he had faded from existence just as the sun started shining bright on them again.

Padmé exhaled loudly, ignoring the flux of tears streaming down her cheeks. Although she was aware that she was safe within her own world again, she couldn't bring herself to break their physical link just yet.

"It's over," she said, both to herself and to them. "It's over now."

"Mother…?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she sounded hesitant but offered them a reassuring smile. "Yeah, I'm okay."

They kept staring at her, unsure.

"Oh, come here."

She pulled them both into her arms, in the most clumsy embrace. Padmé felt their presence there and she could breathe a little more easily, too, having now put the burden of Vader to rest.

"I love you," she whispered, better accommodating each twin to each of her sides. "I love you two so much."

"We love you too," Luke huffed, reaching out for his sister. "Right, Leia?"

Leia looked at his hand and took it. The circle was finally complete.

"Yes, we do."

A/N: things i'd like to say about this chapter:

- if force ghost ben kenobi can sit in a rock and not fall through, than anakin and luke can hold hands, thank you.

- at first I had planned for luke and leia to mediate the conversation between anakin and padmé, as padmé isn't force sensitive, but I thought that would be a little tiresome so I had to work around the issue. i think the solution I found for the problem isn't all that bad.

- honestly I had a whole list of things I wanted to say but I can't remember none of them right now

- a couple of chapters ago, someone commented that this story isn't about anakin's redemption, it was never about him, and that's it. anakin/vader did what he did and this story isn't to redeem him, it's to work around luke, leia, and padmé's healing regarding the things that anakin did, and that's what this chapter is about. it probably isn't what most of anakins fans wanted to see, but oh well, it is what it is.

regardless, I know you all have been waiting a looooong time for the padmé and anakin reunion, so make sure to leave me a comment!