54
THE pair of them stayed at Lupin and Tonks's cottage for almost a fortnight going on three weeks. Norah slowly but surely began to relax into a more comfortable, stable, and gracious way of life after over nine months in captivity.
Her days were spent with Remus and Dora and Teddy, her nights filled with Ollie. During the daytime, weather permitting, they would enjoy a quiet, leisurely stroll through the countryside in Wales where they lived.
There were strolls through the wizarding village nearby, lounging on the back porch in the swing together of Lupin and Tonks's cottage, laughing as Teddy explored a new world ever now open to the boy.
Evenings saw lavish dinners, the finest food that Ollie could make for Norah to ensure the malnourished werewolf got enough to eat, with Remus's help, as Dora wasn't much of a cooker, and confessed to burning water on her first attempt to make tea for Lupin.
The nights were filled with endless lovemaking between the sheets after their friends had gone to bed.
Norah almost managed to forget the horrible ordeal that Ollie's own grandmother had put her through. Norah almost began to imagine that nothing in the entire country of Great Britain could threaten her again.
But then she would remember all that they did was kept safely within the confines of their friends' home and the surrounding property protected with enchantments meant to keep the intruders out of here.
One beautiful afternoon when the sun was out, Norah suggested the pair of them take baby Teddy for a walk in his stroller outside the village to allow Remus and Dora some time to themselves.
Her face quickly saddened, however, as the werewolf realized the impossibility of that one hope.
She realized that even venturing beyond the borders of their friends' properties that they had protected with a various assortment of enchantment protections, that the minute they crossed that threshold, Yaga and what was left of her forces under the Dark Lord's commands could still ambush her so close to Remus and Dora's own home.
And now especially that their friends had a newborn son to look after and think about, that was a risk Norah didn't want to take at all.
Ollie smiled at his girlfriend apologetically and kissed her temple, quickly changing the subject to something more appropriate, trying to offer up a pleasing alternative for the afternoon, suggesting either a round of Gobstones or Wizard's Chess for something to do.
Norah looked embarrassed. She didn't want her mate to think in any way that she wasn't pleased with this arrangement.
Lupin and Tonks had been more than kind to them both by letting them stay here, no questions asked.
Though she was quick to take him up on the suggestion of a picnic in the back yard underneath the shady tendrils of a large willow tree. Ollie tried his best to hide his remorse at not being able to do more for her, but he knew that he could not ask Norah to live a life shut in away from the rest of her world, and her mother, forever. Norah's nightmares, thankfully, didn't worsen.
However, they didn't get any better during this time, either. She would continue to wake terrified, despite being wrapped safely in Ollie's arms, at the visions of the harm that befell both Wes and him in her sleep.
He would hold onto Norah as her tears soaked through his t-shirts, whispering sweet nothings into the shell of her ear while he tried to comfort the woman he loved that everything was going to be fine.
Eventually, Norah would calm down enough to settle back into something that resembled a fitful sleep, while Ollie would lay numbly beside her, his thoughts filled with a vile, bitter hatred for his own grandmother, that monster who'd said those things to his girlfriend and forced those vivid images into Norah's mind's and didn't relinquish their hold.
He used those moments while he would lay awake either watching Norah sleep or staring numbly at the ceiling to cement his designs for Baba's death firmly into what he was confident was an utterly flawless plan, one that even the Dark Lord would admire.
Ollie could see every movement through the shadows of his family's home, along the hallways that would lead him to his freedom, to where Baba slept. Over and over again, he visualized his actions.
He was ready and the time had come, but finally, came the moment, one dull, dreary Tuesday morning that Ollie had dreaded telling Norah about it. He didn't think he could delay putting this off for much longer.
"Norah, baby, I—I need to speak with you," he said, turning solemnly towards the blonde witch as the two sat on the porch swing on Remus and Dora's back porch, again babysitting Teddy while the proud new parents did some errands in Diagon Alley, hoping to get back before the thunderstorm started.
Teddy had been fussy all that morning throughout breakfast after his parents had left via the Floo Network. Almost as if he could sense his godfather's apprehension. Norah did what she could to calm the baby, however, nothing truly seemed to settle him.
Ollie had taken to his role of godfather to Teddy Remus Lupin with pride, though Sirius wasn't exactly thrilled to share in his title of godfather alongside Ollie, though after a lengthy conversation about a week or so after they'd arrived at his cousin's, Sirius had begrudgingly agreed to make amends, for Tonks.
The two wizards still didn't fully trust one another, or really like the other one, but Tonks and Norah and Remus believed that it was at least a start and a step in the right direction.
Teddy's hair was black this afternoon, rivaling Ollie's, she noticed affectionately, as she smoothed a wisp of hair off of the baby's forehead.
As Ollie spoke, however, Norah pulled her attention from the baby in her arms, up towards Ollie's adoring, affection-filled face laced with worry.
"What is it?" Norah asked quietly. His tone brought concern to her features. Her heart leaped up into her throat as Ollie took hold of her left hand and stared deep into Norah Jameson's pale blue eyes for a long moment, as though trying to memorize every feature.
He stroked back a strand of Norah's blonde hair that had fallen across her face.
Then suddenly, the Legilimens didn't think he could bear to dip into her mind to read her adoring thoughts or look at the shining love and affection he found as he looked at her.
He turned away instead to stare at some point at the edges of the woods in the Lupin's back yard.
"I have to go back, Norah."
His voice was nearly a whisper, and the man almost choked on his words.
Norah swallowed a lump in her throat, feeling as though she'd swallowed a razor blade as her heart suddenly dropped to the pit of her churning belly. Her arms went numb, and she struggled to maintain a firm grip on Teddy, still squirming within her arms.
What little color was left in her peaky face drained, which wasn't saying much as she had just come off a full-moon cycle, her, and Remus, and wasn't quite back to her normal self as of yet. She swallowed back the acid that was creeping its way into her throat.
"Back," she repeated. "You're going back?" Norah asked, unsure of what she'd just heard was correct.
Ollie nodded and lowered his chin remorsefully. He swore he could almost hear Norah's heart breaking, and he could certainly see it burning in her blue irises.
"Back to that bitch. Back to Yaga." It was not even a question as it left Norah's lips, but an accusation. She voiced her suspicion to her mate as if she were already certain. "Ollie, how could you do this to me?"
Ollie twisted his entire body around to face Norah, desperate to make the woman he loved understand why he had to return.
"Not back to be with my grandmother, Norah," he quickly corrected the witch. "I have to go back to kill her, sweetheart," he explained.
He realized that Norah's fingers were still clasped tightly within his own, and she was shaking. He held on firmly to her hand, hoping she'd understand and could recognize why he had to leave.
Norah looked down at Teddy. He'd finally managed to quiet down and was nestled so blissfully unaware against her. She rocked him slightly.
"Why?" she asked, not looking at Ollie as she addressed him. She shook her head, trying to send Ollie's words away. "You promised," she snarled. "You said you and I would be safe here." Her blue eyes met his and questioned him desperately, searching for the truth.
Ollie nodded, hoping to reassure her. "You are, Nor," he agreed, and then looked down into his godson's innocent face and let himself smile. "But I don't know if you and I could ever leave here, not while my grandmother still lives, the miserable old bitch," he growled, gnashing his teeth together in his anger. "For right now, the Lupin cottage is where you're the safest from her wrath, but while she lives, I don't think you would be ever able to leave here."
Norah sniffed and then she nodded her understanding. "Then we'll stay put for now," she declared boldly, even as she understood how difficult that would be, and she did not want to impose on Remus and Dora anymore than they already had.
At some point, she hoped the two of them would be able to move somewhere, just the two of them. A downtown flat in London, or maybe a cottage near the woods to give her a safe space to transform once a month.
Ollie noticed her frown as she thought it over and tried to give Norah an understanding smile.
"You'd really want to stay here and drive Remus and Dora crazy with our company for the rest of our lives?" he said, a slight teasing lilt to his tone, only half-joking, as he knew he was unwilling to even entertain such a ridiculous idea. "What about all that you'd be missing? Your mum, don't you want to see your mother again?" he offered, chewing on his lip.
"Mum would understand," Norah retorted immediately, thinking how if Rena were here, she would tell Ollie the exact same thing she thought.
Ollie let out a tired-sounding sigh and looked down at the sleeping face of his tiny godson nestled in Norah's arms.
"Our friends have graciously opened their home to us when we needed a place to go when we had nowhere else, no one who would take us in," he stated, choosing his words carefully as he spoke slowly, trying to phrase best how to speak his mind. "But I don't want to be a burden or imposition in their lives any more than we probably already have been. I can't let this place become another prison."
He frowned as he looked at her. "It's no life for you, for me. It isn't fair to us and it's certainly not fair to Remus and Tonks, Norah, don't you think? Haven't we imposed on their hospitality long enough? We could get our own place after this. Move-in with me."
Ollie left his plea hanging in the air between them, hoping that Norah would understand his logic now.
She nodded as she shot him a small smile. "I'd love to, Ollie," she whispered, considering his reasoning.
Norah's smile faltered and slid off her face like water falling over rocks as she looked at his expression. Her heart broke all over again and ached to think of him leaving.
How could she watch him leave her again. There was something deep inside of her chest that stung with a horrible antagonizing hurt, and a bitterness that she feared his grand plan wasn't going to end quite like the man thought that it would.
It was Norah's turn to stare off into the distance at the edge of the forest that surrounded the Lupin's family cottage.
"But...you're not coming back, Ollie."
Norah announced her suspicion as if she were already certain of the outcome, her voice flat and emotionless as she slipped her fingers out from his.
Ollie vehemently shook his head no in disagreement with her prediction, unable to bear the dread in her shy voice.
"That's not true, baby. Of course, I'll come back." He took Norah by her elbows and turned her slightly around so that she could not look away. "I'll be gone maybe an hour at best. I'll kill that old witch in her sleep and be on my way home back to you before anyone even knows I snuck into my own house." Ollie tried his best to give her a hopeful smile. "I was able to get you here, wasn't I, Norah? Not even my own grandma is going to challenge me in returning to you. I'll kill or jinx anyone that tries."
Norah pursed her lips into a thin line and eyed him questioningly as her eyebrows shot up in her disbelief.
"That's not what I'm afraid of," she corrected, her breath expelled from her lungs in shallow, short bursts. "I don't think anyone would be a match for you. I've seen you fight," she whispered, repressing a shudder as visions of the man's master dueling skills flitted in front of her mind's eye when he'd saved her.
"Then what is it, Nor?" Ollie begged, searching her face.
Norah swallowed a lump in her throat, wanting to fling her arms around the man's neck and cry into his shoulder, but her heart felt so heavy in her chest that the young wolf was beyond the point of crying.
"She'll cast her spell on you again, feed you more lies," she spat her words, hissing them, and pulling back her gums to reveal her still sharpened incisors. Ollie flinched and tried to protest, but Norah trudged on. "No matter how much you want to come back, she'll make you stay with her again, Ollie, I know it."
Norah knew she didn't need to tell the man that it had happened before. She could already tell he knew. "I won't see you again," she choked out in a half-choked sob as her voice trailed off, unable to finish.
Ollie winced. He knew he'd put this fear into his girlfriend's heart. He'd left her the night Dumbledore kicked her out of the Order, though she was the one who had ultimately betrayed the group and him, then.
He'd allowed his grandmother to come between them.
"That's not going to happen again, Norah," he passionately promised. "I was a fool to have doubted you, to have left you as I did. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you if you'll have me. If there was any other way, believe me, I'd find it." He shook his head. "I don't think there's any other choice, baby. My grandmother has to die, for the two of us and our friends to truly be safe. I know I should have killed her when I had the chance, the day that I was able to escape with you," he confessed, pained.
Ollie hung his head in regret for a moment, and then nervously raised his eyes again to the blonde's pain-filled face. As the man studied the witch's mournful expression, Ollie felt pressure diluting in his chest as he forced himself to swallow back a sob.
"I'm asking you right now to trust me. Please believe me, Norah," he begged, hating hearing the faltering crack and dip in his voice as his resolve slowly faded. "I love you and only you, with all that I am, though I may not be much at all." He tried to bring Norah's hand to his heart, though she yanked his hand out of his grasp and pulled away from Ollie. "You're everything to me, Norah, can't you see that? I promise that I will come back. A couple of hours at most, and then I swear to you, I'll come home to you." He pleaded urgently for the wolf to believe him.
Norah let out a heavy and tired sigh as she looked at him. The defeat and heartbreak plastered over her face tore Ollie's heart to shreds in his chest.
There was nothing more to be said either on her part or his. She stared straight ahead of her out at the woods, as if not really seeing Ollie or even baby Teddy in her arms.
Norah felt like the world around her was spinning beneath her feet as she hurriedly stood up, holding Ollie's godson close to her chest. She didn't say a single word.
She couldn't even bring her eyes up to look him square in the eyes to see the hurt within.
Heartbroken, Norah slipped past Ollie and walked slowly back inside Lupin and Tonks's cottage, taking Teddy with her, leaving Ollie where he sat in silence.
Ollie stayed sitting out on the porch for longer than he'd planned. He couldn't bring himself to move, not even when he heard the first low crack of thunder in the distance, or when he heard the front door of their home open, and Remus and Tonks announced they were back.
Norah said something in response, but whatever she said was muffled. Distant. Just like her.
He cursed himself for how his failure to act when he should have and how his past transgressions were hurting Norah so badly that he could hardly bear it.
Maybe he had no right to hope that Norah would see his leaving again as anything but another betrayal.
He knew that his grandmother's death was the only possible outcome of his returning back to his home.
Ollie felt vindicated and more than ready to have the old bitch out of their lives once and for all, for good. His grandmother growing up had always been nothing but a thorn in his side.
Ollie thought he should have been able to guess that his leaving would bring repressed memories and unwanted ghosts to haunt Norah's mind, and cause her to question his renewed commitment to spending their lives together.
He had left Norah once before, and his own grandmother had put her through a living hell in his own home right under his very nose the whole time. It had been his fault.
But this time, Ollie vowed to do whatever was necessary of him to prove to Norah that she was the most important thing in his life now.
And when it was all over, he decided, he would ask her the one question he never dared to dream he would ask a witch in his lifetime.
If she'd marry him.
Several hours had long since passed since the pair of them had sat on the Lupins' back porch, since Ollie had watched Norah's heartbreak as she had confided in him her worst fears, that he would not come back.
Norah had disappeared inside the house with Teddy, and he could hear her dissolve into tears. The sun set beyond the horizon, dinner came and went, and still, there was no sign that Norah would break herself out of her hidden anguish that she tried to hide from Remus and Dora.
Ollie's own anguish and torment threatened to eat him alive from the inside out. He didn't think he could take another second being separated from Norah.
He went inside after Lupin encouraged him from the back door to try to speak to her, and headed towards their bedroom door, only to find that she had locked it and unmoving. Not even the Alohomora Spell worked.
Ollie raised his knuckles and knocked softly. He knew she would hear him. He waited with bated breath, anxiously hoping the door would open and he would find himself staring into her loving face again. He stood rooted to his spot in the hallway, hopefully.
There was no answer. Again, he rapped on the door, louder and slightly more urgent this time. Norah never once moved to open the door to see who was on the other side, and then he remembered and felt foolish for having forgotten that she too, was skilled in Legilimency and Occlumency.
There was no need for the werewolf to come to the door to see who might be waiting for her on the other side.
She knew. Ollie groaned and rested his head against the doorframe and sighed. "Norah," he called out in a low moan. "Please, baby, open the damn door. Talk to me. Scream and yell at me if you have to, but please let me in."
Let me in, let me in, let me in… Just this once… he silently implored her, trying to initiate a mental bond in their impossible telepathy.
He let out a sigh when she did not respond. He could not see her leaning against the other side of the door, tears streaming down her ashen, grey-tinged face, her crying muffled by the hand she'd clamped over her mouth.
Ollie spent the entire night on the floor, his back resting against the door of the room, aching to hold her.
The following evening after a tense dinner of soup and crackers, wanting to leave while he had the cover of darkness on his side, as the sun dipped below the horizon, Ollie stood on the front porch of Remus and Dora's cottage, double-checking for the tenth time to ensure he had his wand.
As he checked his supplies, his mood was sour. He hadn't seen or spoken to Norah at all yet since they had argued outside on the back porch.
Again, she'd refused to open the door to him this morning. Ollie didn't know that Norah had heard his parting words as he'd spoken them through the door the moment dawn came.
Even now, he wasn't aware that she stood in the living room of Lupin and Tonks's cottage, standing at the window, and watching him prepare to Disapparate back home.
Norah knew Ollie would go, that nothing she could possibly say to him would change his mind. She realized with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that Ollie was right.
Yaga had to be killed. It was the only way they could move on. She and Ollie needed to have even the thought of Baba removed from both of their lives if they held a fool's hope of moving on from the shared trauma.
Norah was afraid she'd been too hard on her mate for the choice that he was making, this time, for the greater good.
She fought herself not to run outside to him. She wanted to force the proper farewell that she knew he deserved from her.
Norah wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and feel safe in the man's embrace, even if it was just for this one last time in her life.
But her stubborn Gryffindor pride was what won out in the end, and it was the thing that kept Norah from giving into the urge to run for him and show the loving concern that she felt for her mate.
She doubted that Ollie had really considered the fact how difficult it was probably going to be for him to kill his own grandmother, especially considering their history together. She was, like it or not, at the end of the day, still his family member, in the end.
She supposed she couldn't blame him for hesitating to kill Baba when Ollie had the chance. What if it were her own grandmother if she even had one still left alive?
What if she'd been a monster? What if she felt her only choice was to end her life? Could she really have done it, then?
Norah had listened to Ollie repeatedly reassure her that the only thing he would feel was immense relief at taking Baba's life, but she wasn't so sure. She couldn't quite shake the feeling of dread from her senses that something else was at play. Like…something was wrong, but what that thing or things might be, Norah couldn't say for sure yet.
Norah was afraid that the sheer amount of power his grandmother had always held over him growing up, from what snippets he'd divulged to her over the last few weeks would render Ollie not only unable to kill Baba as he'd originally planned but unable to tear himself away from her a third time.
Her dread that the man she loved was going to fall again under Baba Yaga's witchcraft and break her heart was very nearly paralyzing to her and kept the werewolf from speaking to her mate since he had revealed his plan to her on the porch.
Norah knew by this point since she had let him back into her life and had given the man a second chance at winning her heart back that Ollie loved her, but he had loved her before, or so he'd said, and he'd left her, he had given up on them then.
She had forgiven that, and had forgiven him, but she could not forget it, and she was not soon to, not now when the man would leave her all over again.
Norah was still incredibly hurt and angry, and she doubted she could yet bring herself to speak for so long to her mate.
Yet, she knew she had no right to keep this opportunity from him when this might be the last moment that they'd see each other again.
She breathed deeply, swallowed a lump in her throat and her tears, and headed out of the bedroom, down the hallway, and towards the door.