Chapter 10: Trust
"Don't worry Suzuki-san your blood pressure has actually improved greatly." Kazu said with a smile.
He sighed in relief. "Well that's good. If my numbers weren't better my wife would've killed me."
Kazu laughed. "Well with this report I think you might be able to see another day." He said, leaning down to write the numbers on the chart.
He waved him off. "Let's hope. You're lucky you're so young Dr. Yanagi. How old are you again?"
"I just turned 26 last week." He said happily.
"Geez boy, I got shoes older than you." He sighed.
"Don't worry age is just a number." Kazu said, placing the stethoscope in his ears.
"Easy to say when your number is much lower."
Kazu just smiled and finished his checkup.
"Well you look great. Keep up the good work. Make sure to drink plenty of water, exercise, and try to reduce stress. That'll help your blood pressure." He said, adjusting his glasses.
"Yeah, I'll try. Although, my kids are coming to visit this weekend. So I can't promise I'm gonna be reducing stress." He said.
"Well just try, all I can ask. Now I think you should continue your dose of Metoprolol twice a day. However I'm going to switch you to the tartrate kind instead of the one you're on now." He said writing the prescription.
"Alright. Thank you Dr. Yanagi." He said, taking the prescription.
Kazu smiled wide. "Just doin my job. I'll see you in a few weeks to recheck everything alright?"
He nodded and Kazu said his goodbyes.
He shut the examination door and smiled once more, tightening his tie.
"Dr. Yanagi. I like the sound of that." He said quietly to himself.
Lucky for him Suzuki-san was the last patient of the day.
He yawned and stretched as he sat at his desk. He was definitely beat. However, even though Hatori left early this day still went by smoothly.
He smiled at the thought of how responsible Hatori would think he was.
"Wow Kazu, you're so amazingly talented. How'd I get blessed with an amazing friend like you?" Kazu said in his best Hatori voice.
"I don't know. Guess you just got lucky." He laughed.
"Kazu?" Yuri said from her desk.
He groaned.
"No Yuri. Shops closed. I'm not taking any more calls." He said, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes.
"It's Erin. She's asking for you." She said.
His eyes shot open. "What line?"
"Line one." She said.
He clicked the button. "Dr. Yanagi speaking."
"Oh good you're still at the office. I-I don't know your cell number and I don't know what I'd do if you weren't there." Erin said, stumbling slightly over her words.
"Don't worry, I'm still here. I was actually just about to leave. What's up?" He asked. "How's Hatori?"
She made a small worried noise. "Well that's the thing. When I came home from school he was in bed fast asleep. But he looked awful. He's pale and clammy and I tried to wake him up… But he's saying weird things." She exclaimed. "I don't know what I should do, Hatori's the doctor not me. But I can't ask him!"
"Erin, relax it's okay. He's okay, I promise. I'll be over to check on him as soon as I can. I'm leaving now alright?" He asked.
"Okay."
"Just watch him till I get there." Kazu said.
Erin nodded. "Alright I will." She said before hanging up the phone.
"Kazu coming?" Jirou asked, pouring tea.
"Yeah he's on his way." Erin said, scratching her wrist so hard she could feel the skin peel under her nails.
Jirou's eyes widened at the sight. "Woah Erin, don't do that." He scolded, grabbing her wrist to examine it.
"I'm sorry. I just… Hatori! He's sick! And I can't…" she started to say before a whine came out instead.
She pulled at her hair and began to pace.
Jirou hadn't seen her this bad in a very long time.
"Alright relax. Stressing won't make him any better." Jirou said, trying to placate her.
"But what if-" She started to say, but Jirou interceded.
"Erin." He said in a tone that made her stop and look up at him.
"He'll be okay. I promise. Kazu will come and he'll give him some medicine, and he'll…" He said before taking a breath. "He'll be better. Alright?"
Erin looked up and saw the odd look on his face. "Oh my gosh, do you think he's really sick?"
Jirou saw how her eyes widened with fear and he inwardly swore.
Whatever he had heard from Yamamoto at work today had to wait. He couldn't stress Erin out more than she already was.
"No. Sorry I just had a long day. I think Hatori has the flu. After some medicine and rest he'll be back to his stubborn self." He said with a smile.
At that Erin finally relaxed slightly.
"You really think so?" She asked.
He nodded as he finished making the tea.
She took a breath as she rubbed the raw spot on her wrist.
"Is that peppermint tea?" She asked.
"Of course. Is there anything else to drink when you're sick?" He asked happily.
She smiled slightly. "I guess not."
"I mean I'm not a doctor like Hatori is, but I can say peppermint tea always makes me feel better." He shrugged.
"I think you'd make a good doctor." She said.
At that he laughed. "What on earth would make you think that?"
"Because you care about people a lot." She said.
He tousled her hair. "There's more to being a doctor than just caring about people, Erin. You actually have to be smart."
"You're smart."
"You think too highly of me. Always have." He said, handing her the tea cup. "See if you can get Mr. Perfect to drink some, before Kazu gets here."
She nodded. "Alright. I'm sorry for panicking."
"Hey it's alright. It's normal to get anxious when a loved one is sick." He said, taking a sip of his tea.
"Yeah, I guess you're right." She said.
Jirou's gaze fell to the diamond ring on her finger as he thought once more of what Yamamoto told him about the Sohmas.
Was Erin marrying into a family like that really a good idea?
Relax Jirou. You're overthinking again. You'll talk to Hatori later and get the answers you need. It's probably nothing.
He watched her walk the tea cup into her room before running a hand down his face.
It'll be fine.
Everything will be just fine.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Hatori felt something cool on his head.
It felt good.
He reveled in the feeling.
Wait.
Something cool on his head?
His eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly, his body heavily protesting at the sudden movement.
The ice pack plopped into his lap as he was met with a pair of big brown eyes sitting across from him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just… Well I thought it would help cool you down a little." She said meekly.
Cool him down? Why would he…
Suddenly his memories came back.
He had been at work. Kazu told him to go home because he didn't feel good.
He did. He planned to at least get some paperwork done in his office while he waited for Erin to come home. However, he felt so awful he just collapsed into bed.
How long had he been asleep?
"How long was I asleep?" He asked, his voice raspy.
"A little while. I know Jirou told me you weren't feeling well but you were worse than I thought. I had to call Kazu to come check on you. You had a fever of 102.9. Luckily he got some medicine in you." Erin said, tapping her fingers together.
He made a face. Why couldn't he remember this? He didn't like the idea of Kazu seeing him sick. He was definitely in for a whole slew of jokes when he went back to work.
"You don't remember?" She asked.
He shook his head as he massaged his temples.
"I guess that makes sense. You were saying some pretty interesting things when I came home." She said, her cheeks turning pink.
He gave her a questionable look. "What did I say?"
"Oh um… Just nonsensical things. Stuff like how beautiful I was and… um yeah." She babbled.
He smiled slightly remembering the dream he had. "Well I can't say I remember saying that, but it's true." He said, running a hand through his hair.
Her face flushed. "I don't know about that…"
He looked around at the darkened room. There was only one light on. It had to be late.
"What time is it?" He asked.
"It's like one in the morning." She said.
He looked at her surprised. "Why are you still awake?"
"Oh… Well I um… I was nervous about you being sick and I had this fear that if I slept something bad would happen so I've just been… Um watching you sleep." She said meekly.
He took a breath. He knew Erin. She had probably been so worried. "I apologize for worrying you."
"Oh! I wasn't worried! I mean I was but, not that worried!" She exclaimed, waving her hands.
He grabbed her wrist, examining the all too familiar sight of a raw spot on her wrist.
She retracted her hand, holding her wrist close to her chest. "Okay I panicked slightly. I just… I'm not a doctor. I'm not you. I didn't know how to help you." She said quickly.
"I'm alright. It's my fault. I'm afraid I forgot to make sure I got the flu shot." He sighed before leaning his head on her shoulder in an attempt to quell the dizziness he still had.
He felt her run her hands through his hair as she held him. He made a relaxed sigh as she kissed the top of his head.
Sure he felt like crap, but with Erin here, he felt better.
"I was dreaming about you." He said softly.
She laughed slightly. "Oh were you?"
He nodded, burying his face into the crook of her neck.
"Was it a good dream?" She asked.
He nodded.
She wrapped her arms around him. "I'm glad. I should probably get you more medicine. You're still pretty warm."
"In a minute." He mumbled.
"Huh?" She asked.
He looked up at her. "Just… Just stay with me. Please."
Her face warmed. "O-Okay."
She watched him lay his head back on her shoulder as her heart raced. She had never seen Hatori so vulnerable before.
"I love you." He whispered.
She smiled. "I love you too."
"You shouldn't." He said sadly.
"Oh shush. Don't say things like that. I do love you, and I'll always love you. Nothing will ever change that." She said.
He made a hum as his eyelids began to droop again.
He thought back to his dream and frowned, tightening his hold on her.
He just wanted to stay in this moment.
Wanted to pretend he wasn't a monster, that he was a human deserving of her love.
However, he knew that it was probably too much to ask.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
November 3rd, 2002
"Hatori are you sure you feel okay enough to be out?" Erin asked, walking beside him.
He smiled. "I feel fine. What would make me feel better is a strong cup of coffee."
"Yeah but I could've gotten you a cup of coffee." She tried to reason.
"Yes, but some fresh air will do me some good." He said, holding her hand. He looked down at her and stopped.
He clicked his tongue and shook his head. "Erin, it's cold out here. You need to button up your coat all the way." He said, buttoning the two top buttons.
She gave him a look. "News flash Hatori, you're the one who's actually sick."
"Yes well you'll be next if you don't button up." He said plainly.
"I won't get sick, I got my vaccine unlike some people." She said matter of factly.
"There are other things you can get than the flu." He said, beginning to walk again.
She made a face. "Then what's the point of the shot?"
"So you don't get the flu." He said.
She sighed. "I still don't see the point."
"Do you want to be as sick as I was?" He asked.
"No…"
"Then there's your answer." He said in his usual matter of fact tone.
She sighed once more. Jirou had been right, Hatori did go back to his stubborn self.
"You should go back to being sick. At least you weren't nagging me." She said sticking out her tongue.
He looked down at her. "I don't nag. I say simple fact."
"Oh no. You nag." She laughed. "But it's okay. I accept that it's the way you show you care, even if it's annoying sometimes."
"Well thank you." He said, opening the door to the coffee shop for her.
"What would you like?" He asked.
"An iced coffee please." She said.
He nodded. "Do you want a muffin?"
She smiled. "Is that even a question?"
He smiled back. "Alight. Blueberry right?" He smirked.
She nudged his arm. "You know what kind I want."
"I know, I know, chocolate chip. Go sit, I'll bring it over." He said.
She nodded and walked to the table by the window.
She rested her chin on her palm as she watched the cars go by.
Where they lived wasn't as busy as Tokyo. It was nice. She grew tired of all the traffic there. It was much more peaceful here.
She looked at the dying leaves on the trees as a few continued to cling to the branches.
Winter was definitely coming in fast. It was only early November, but there was a distinct chill in the air.
Time was flying by. Soon it would be her birthday again.
Her 21st birthday would mark three years since she met Hatori.
Three years. It felt like forever, and yet not that long at all.
She fidgeted with the ring on her finger, watching the light reflect off the large diamond.
Winter would definitely fly by and before she knows it, it'll be May and they'll be married.
A rush of excited butterflies floated through her.
Her and Hatori married.
She looked over at him ordering the coffee.
He was still a little pale from being sick, however that didn't take away from how incredibly perfect he was.
In this coffee shop with his long black coat and tie… Well he looked like he shouldn't be real. Like he was some character in a book.
This couldn't be real. Someone like Hatori Sohma could never love her.
Maybe she was dreaming. She had thought about it. Especially in the beginning.
Meeting Hatori… Well it was like a dream come true.
Unless it was a dream.
What if it was? What if she just woke up at her Uncle's house again?
She imagined her life before Hatori.
Dealing with everything her uncle put her through.
No one ever helping her. No one saving her.
She imagined the complacent looks she used to get from Jirou and Suki. They would question her actions briefly but never looked deep into it.
"Erin, it's like 90 degrees. Why are you wearing long sleeves?" Jirou would ask.
She looked up at him. Jirou hadn't changed much since he was a teen. However he looked at her differently then he did now. His blue eyes were always distant. Like he was asking to be polite, but wasn't actually interested.
"I don't know. I just want to. Just mind your business." She would say, tugging at her sleeves.
He would shrug. "Alright, have it your way. When you get heat stroke, don't come crying to me."
She could imagine it all pretty clearly. She'd watch him walk off and the little voice in her head would yell at her.
Tell him. Just tell him.
However she never did.
What if that was still her life? What if just dreamt up this fantasy life?
A life where someone as perfect as Hatori actually loved her and Jirou actually cared about her.
"Daydreaming?" Hatori's voice pulled her from her thoughts.
She looked up at him as he placed her iced coffee and muffin in front of her.
She shook her head. "No. Not exactly. Just lost in thought."
He sat across from her. "About?" He asked as opened a sugar packet and stirred it into his black coffee.
"Just hoping all if this isn't a dream." She said.
He tilted his head. "What do you mean?"
"You know, like meeting you. I hope I'm not dreaming. It all seems too good to be true."
He smiled. "Don't worry it's not a dream. I'm not going anywhere."
She nodded. "You promise?"
"I promise. I'm not leaving." He said, sipping his coffee.
She nodded. She didn't think he would leave. However, occasionally her old anxieties about it would bubble up. She would think of him leaving or dream about it.
It was nice to hear him say it. Tell her that he wasn't going anywhere.
She needed confirmation sometimes.
Luckily Hatori was always so patient and always so understanding. He never questioned. He just simply gave her the assurance she needed.
"What if you find someone better?" She asked.
He laughed slightly. "There is no one better than you. And I think I'm the one who should be asking you that." He said.
She rolled her eyes. "Yeah okay."
Why did he do that? Why did he always put himself down like that?
It was tiresome sometimes. Didn't he look at himself? Didn't he see how absolutely perfect he was? Inside and outside, Hatori was perfect.
He was a good person.
She knew that was a simple fact.
The question was why didn't he think so?
She wanted to argue with him on it, however she didn't want to bother him while he was still recovering.
"You feeling okay? You're still a little pale."
"I feel better now with caffeine in me. I'm fine. If I do get sick it's usually never for long." He said plainly.
She stared at the empty sugar packet. "I do have to ask. Why don't you just ask them for sugar? Why do you order a black coffee, and then add your own sugar? It seems counterintuitive."
He smiled. "Counterintuitive you say?"
She smiled back. "You're not the only one who can use big words."
"I'm aware. And to answer your question is because while baristas are good at making coffee I don't trust them." He said simply.
She raised a brow at him. "What? That doesn't make any sense."
"Well if I tell them I only want one sugar, they may put more in. Then my coffee will be too sweet." He said.
"And then you wouldn't like it?" She asked, trying to understand his logic.
"No. I would like it. That's the problem." He said.
At that she laughed. "What? I don't get it. If you would like it, why don't you add more sugar?"
"Because sugar isn't good for you. I tried and tried to get myself to drink coffee black however, it's intolerably bitter. I finally trained myself to take just one. If I add another it will ruin my progress and I won't be able to take just one anymore." He said as this was completely normal.
She continued to laugh. "Hatori. I wonder about you sometimes."
Oh his internal battle against his love of sweets. It was almost kind of adorable how much he beat himself up over it.
"That's it." She said, getting up.
He watched her walk off and come back, passing him a sugar packet.
He gave her a confused look. "What is this for?"
"Put it in your coffee."
"No." He said plainly.
"Hatori, life is too short. You need to find enjoyment in things. I can't watch you torture yourself anymore." She said.
"I'm not putting another sugar in here."
"Hatori. We are going to be spending the rest of our lives together. That hopefully, will be a very long time. That's a lot of mornings and a lot of coffee cups. How can I be happy and feel like a good wife if every morning I have to see you torture yourself by drinking coffee I know you don't like?" She asked, resting her chin on her hands.
He gave her a look. "Erin-"
"Do it for me. Just this once. Just indulge in something you like. Forget about whether or not it's bad and just do it. You're always so uptight. Just relax. You're with me, you don't have anything to prove." She said.
He smiled and shook his head. "By that logic I should start smoking again."
"That's different. Now just shut up and put the sugar in." She said.
He raised his hands in defeat. "Alright fine. But when I have diabetes in the future it's your fault." He said, pouring the sugar in and stirring it.
She rolled her eyes before watching him take a sip.
"So? Is it good?" She asked.
He laughed. "It tastes so much better."
She took in the way his eyes lit up as he smiled.
"See I told you so." She said happily. "Oh next we can get you into different flavors of coffee."
"Let's not get carried away now." He said, holding her hand.
"Alright, alright, one step at a time. Well here. At least let me share some of my muffin with you. They're good here." She said cutting the muffin in half and handing him a side.
He looked down at the half of the muffin in front of him before looking back at her.
He smiled. How was it possible one person could bring him so much joy?
It was cloudy and cold on this November morning. However with her here… Well it felt like he was looking at the brightest and prettiest sunrise in the middle of summer. He was warm and happy, basking in the warm rays.
"Thank you Erin." He said.
She looked up at him. "You don't have to thank me. I mean you technically bought the muffin."
He laughed slightly. "No, just thank you for being with me. You make me so incredibly happy."
She blushed and smiled. "Well I'm glad. You make me happy as well."
He listened to her talk about how the wedding planning was going and school work she had to get done as winter break was approaching.
He listened and reassured her that everything with school would go well.
He didn't know how long they sat there for, just talking and enjoying each other's company.
There were other people there, but to them it was like they were in their own world.
It was a world Hatori wanted to stay in for as long as he could.
Because a world without Erin was a world he never wanted to live in ever again.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
1 week later
Jirou sat in front of his work computer drumming his fingers on his desk.
He seemed to be arguing with himself.
Just do it.
He went to type but lost his nerve.
Kat's words replayed in his head.
Jirou, you do have to remember that it's not really your place to get involved. I know you're looking out for Erin, but she probably already knows.
He chewed the inside of cheek.
It wasn't important.
He should just forget about it.
It's not a big deal.
The memory hit him suddenly.
"Erin, it's like 90 degrees. Why are you wearing long sleeves?" He asked, looking at her outfit. Who in the hell wanted to dress like that in this heat?
He watched her tug at her sleeves.
"I don't know. I just want to. Just mind your business." She said.
Why are you asking?
It's not a big deal. Just forget about it. Who cares what she wears?
He shrugged. "Alright, have it your way. When you get heat stroke, don't come crying to me." He said before walking off.
He clenched his fists as he thought back on it.
How many times did he think that? How many times did he say, 'it's not a big deal' about something that turned out to be in fact, a very big deal?
Maybe if he stopped saying it was no big deal he could've actually helped her, saw the truth of what was going on.
All this stuff with Hatori's family could be a big deal.
He couldn't be like that again. He was an adult now. He wasn't a child anymore. He couldn't be complacent ever again.
He promised he would look after Erin, and that's what he would do.
Even if people tried to tell him it wasn't his business to get involved.
Erin was his sister. So her well being was his business.
He loosened the tie he was wearing before typing away on the keyboard.
If there was anything about the Sohma family on the system, he wanted to see it.
The computer was slow.
He frowned and tapped the side of it. He didn't have the patience for this.
Finally the cursed device started working and bringing up the files he needed.
He peered around the station before clicking through the files.
It was just as Yamamoto had said. There were reports of assaults, unexplained hospital visits, neglect, and attempted suicides. Some were even successful.
He pulled up a file of a woman who killed herself by jumping in front of a train in front of her young son.
He frowned as he scrolled through hospital files. He finally came across the report of abuse the hospital file after a young girl sustained injuries from a fall from a second story window.
This had been the case Yamamoto's partner was assigned to. He looked through the report.
The doctor at the hospital suspected the girl had been pushed so they reported it.
However that's where it got strange. Instead of an investigation report there was just a letter.
A letter from another doctor.
The letter said that upon a thorough checkup that this incident was caused by an accident.
It also stated that the hospital wouldn't need to care for the patient any longer, and care would be taken over by the patients preferred family doctor.
His eyes drifted to the bottom of the letter.
His heart began to race as he read the signature.
Sincerely,
Dr. Hatori Sohma
He flipped through and found many more questionable reports.
There was an incident where a young man was stabbed in the back.
An 11 year girl who was beaten so bad she had to stay overnight at the hospital.
It was all there.
And instead of investigation reports, they all had letters from Dr. Hatori Sohma making up some excuse and sweeping it under the rug.
He also couldn't forget about how Yamamoto's partner came back from the Sohma east state with no memory of any of it.
Anger coursed through him.
What in the hell was going on?
He glanced at the letters one more time before sending them to the printer.
He didn't know what this was about.
However he knew one thing.
Him and Hatori needed to have a talk.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Jirou revved his bike as he sped down the road that led to Erin and Hatori's house.
It was Thursday. The one day of the week Erin had classes later then Hatori worked. The only time Hatori would be home and Erin wouldn't be.
He parked his bike in the driveway. He dismounted and removed his helmet before walking to the front door.
He didn't even bother knocking or taking off his shoes.
"Hatori?" He called.
"In my office." He answered.
Jirou walked into Hatori's pristine office to find him sitting at his very large desk, presumably looking at a medical file.
Hatori looked up at him, taking in the fact that he was still wearing his shoes.
"Jirou? What brings you here? You know Erin has class late on Thursdays." He asked.
"I know. I came here to talk to you." Jirou said plainly.
Hatori gave him a questionable look, before he removed his glasses. "Okay. What can I help you with?"
Jirou held up a finger before reaching into his backpack and pulling out a file.
"I need you to explain somethings to me." Jirou said, before slapping the file on his desk.
Hatori saw the way he gripped the edge of his desk and leaned over him.
It was an action Hatori didn't like. He didn't like being on the defensive.
His eyes found the file. "What is it?" He asked.
"Why don't you open it." Jirou said.
"Jirou, what is this about?" He asked, his patience slipping. He didn't have time for this.
"Open it." Jirou said sternly.
Hatori took a breath and opened the file.
However, nothing could've prepared him for what he saw.
He felt his heart stop and his face pale.
Oh no.
"Hatori, I am going to ask you this one time." Jirou said, fanning out the multiple papers so he could see all of them. "What the fuck is all of this?"
Hatori swallowed as he stared at the sickeningly familiar papers in front of him.
Of course they were familiar. He wrote them.
The task he was ordered to do as the family doctor. Covering up all the abuse Akito dealt onto the other zodiac members was just another one of the dark and twisted jobs he had to complete.
If he didn't cover it up, the Sohma family name would've been dragged through the mud.
Of course it wasn't like he wanted to lie and do the families dirty work. He didn't want to be Akito's maid and clean up her messes. However, He was ordered to. He couldn't go against Akito, even if he wanted to.
He heard the old words he used to tell himself when the guilt threatened to consume him play back through his head.
I don't have a choice
I don't have a choice
"Jirou, I can explain." He said, however he didn't like how his voice sounded in his ears.
His composure was crumbling.
Seeing the file shook him more than he'd like to admit.
This all was something he never, ever wanted Jirou to find out.
And if Jirou knew…
He felt his insides twist as his eyes found the photo of Erin on his desk.
She can't know.
She can't know.
"You can explain? Hatori how can you explain this? This is serious shit! There's clearly abuse and shit going on in your family and you just covered it up!" He said pointing to the paper. "One girl was eleven! Eleven Hatori! She was beat so bad she had to spend the night in the hospital!" He yelled.
Hatori felt sweat drip down the back of his neck as he remembered Kisa.
Poor Kisa who did absolutely nothing wrong, beaten. And the worst part was he had to cover it up. Pretend like there was some sort of way to explain the wounds she had received.
I didn't have a choice.
I didn't have a choice.
"Jirou I didn't have a choice." Hatori said, his composure slipping.
Jirou slammed his fist on his desk. "No! Don't give me that again! You know that's bulshit!" He exclaimed.
Hatori clenched his fists and stood up.
"Jirou it's the truth!" He yelled.
The dragon spirit inside of him was long gone. However, he could imagine what he would say right now.
You're going to lose everything.
"How did you not have a choice?!" Jirou questioned, running a hand through his hair and pacing. "God why Hatori? Why! Everytime I think I understand you, shit like this happens! You did have a choice! You chose wrong!"
"You don't get it." Hatori said.
"Oh know I think I do get it. I got it the moment you left Erin with nothing! She was hurt! Given a concussion so bad she couldn't focus and think straight for months! And what did you do, Hatori? You left!" Jirou yelled.
Hatori's throat went dry as anger started to fill him.
"I was stupid to believe I understood. That I could forgive you. Erin was just another victim wasn't she?! Just another person hurt by your sick family! Another case you had to cover up!" He exclaimed. "Is this the person you really are? Does she even know? Or have you just been lying to her this whole time?!" He yelled.
"There is nothing you can say that explains all this! All these people were hurt and you just ignored it! Helped cover it up! That's just as bad Hatori! You can't tell me you didn't have a choice!" He exclaimed.
Hatori couldn't listen to this. His patience was gone.
"Jirou just shut up!" He snapped, digging his nails into his palm.
Jirou looked at him, his breathing rapid from yelling.
"You don't get it! You will never understand! If I tell you you'll think I'm a liar." Hatori said, crumpling one of the papers in his hand.
"I didn't want to do any of these things! How could I? You really think I liked being my family's dog? You think I took enjoyment from hurting people!? I didn't! I hated it! I hated myself!" He exclaimed, looking at his trembling hands.
The very hands that ruined so many lives.
"I'm a monster Jirou. I know that. I don't need you coming in here and telling me things I already know! Things that already keep me up at night!"
Dark.
Sinister.
Cursed.
Jirou furrowed his brows. "I just don't understand Hatori. How. How could you never tell Erin this? How could you just be lying to us this whole time?! I…" He started to say but his voice cracked. "Hatori I trusted you."
"I trusted you!" He said, resting his fist on his forehead.
Was there no one he could trust? Did everyone betray him?
Hatori took a breath in an attempt to regain his composure.
"Jirou I… I know. I just… I never wanted you, and especially not Erin, to ever find out." He said.
"Why?" Jirou asked.
"Why? Because Jirou, Erin looks at me… She looks at me in a way no one has ever looked at me before. She looks at me like I'm the most amazing person in the entire world. She… She trusts me. She sees me as her safe person."
Of course he felt guilty.
He felt guilty every time she smiled at him, every time she called him perfect.
The guilt was unbearable.
However he didn't tell her because he was selfish. He selfishly wanted her to keep seeing him in that light that no one had ever looked at him in before.
He could see the wheels turning in Jirou's head as he thought of what he said.
"But that's just it Hatori. She trusts you. She trusts you and you're lying to her." He said, clearly exasperated.
Hatori felt a pang in his chest from Jirou's words.
"I know." Hatori said quietly.
"Do you?" He asked. "Do you know?"
Hatori looked at him, and Jirou saw the sadness in his eyes.
"Of course I do."
Jirou sighed. "Hatori… How can you even begin to explain all of this?"
"My family situation is… Complicated. It's dark and twisted… Evil. I was... l was there my whole life with no way out. I left Erin because there was no way out. I was… Trapped." He said before pausing. "But I was freed from there. I got out. That's why I came back. It's why I left, opened my own clinic… I try to, I try to help people. I know I can't make up for all of this. However, I'm trying. God Jirou I'm trying."
Jirou looked at his feet, before shaking his head. "That's not good enough. You need to tell her. You need to tell her the truth, Hatori. About all of this. You can't marry her while you're lying. I won't allow it." Jirou said.
Hatori frowned. "I can't." He said, his voice cracking.
"You have to. She deserves to know the truth. She deserves to not be lied to." Jirou said before pausing. "You told me that day after she was attacked, that we need to put more trust in her. Those were your words. You said you always assume she can't handle certain things and you needed to stop doing that."
Hatori dropped his gaze.
"I told you. I told you that Erin is the most important person in the world to me, and you need to treat her right. That was my third term. I said I would hold you to them for the rest of my life. So tell her, or I will." He said, crossing his arms.
Hatori clenched his jaw. He knew Jirou was right.
Of course he was right.
Of course he should tell Erin.
It was just a risk.
It was a risk he never wanted to take.
He couldn't lose her.
What if she didn't want to be with him after he told her all the horrible things he did? What if she started looking at him the way everyone else did? Like he was some kind of horrible person?
What if she became scared of him?
"Please Jirou. Don't make me. I can't lose her. I can't." Hatori said not being able to hide the desperation in his voice.
"You know you have to." He said. "If you truly love her, you'll tell her."
Hatori took a breath. "Alright. Alright. I'll tell her. Just give me time. Please."
"Fine. But you better tell her" Jirou said, crossing his arms.
Hatori ran a hand through his hair.
The Sohma family and their darkness would follow him until the day he died.
The curse could break.
He could break free from the cage.
However none of it mattered.
The darkness would follow him anywhere he went, determined to swallow any light he found.
"I will." Hatori said, closing the file. "Jirou I-"
"Just… Don't, okay?" He said. "Just tell her. She deserves that." He said before leaving.
He sighed as he felt his hands continue to shake.
He glanced at the closed file on his desk.
I didn't have a choice
I didn't have a choice
Tears stung at his eyes as he covered his face in his hands.
He made a frustrated sound as he threw the file across his office.
He looked at the picture of Erin on his desk as tears fell down his face.
You're going to lose everything.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Yay! I finished this in time!
I actually started this this morning. Oops. I've been procrastinating on writing this.
Ouch this chapter hurt. (What chapter doesn't hurt me?)
God I built up Jirou and Hatori's relationship all throughout the second book just to fucking shit on it here. Oops.
They'll be alright... Right? I don't know. I guess we'll find out together.
Anyway I realized last chapter I didn't add a character analysis. (Does anyone care? Idk but I do haha).
So I will add 2 onto this chapter. They're both small characters so it works.
First is Dr. Sato
I feel like Dr. Sato is like that picture perfect middle aged doctor. He's a well known doctor in this story world.
He knew Hatori's father for many years. His father never brought Hatori to medical conventions with him (him being cursed and all) However he talked about him a lot. So Dr. Sato knew of him. Which is why he invited him to his convention when he heard he had his own clinic. (I will say I know absolutely nothing about the medical field. They might not even have conventions. However for this stories sake they do lol.)
His family runs the wisteria garden in Kyoto that Hatori proposed in.
Second character is Yuri Fuji
Yuri is Hatori and Kazu's secretary.
She's young about 21. She's fresh out of college.
Their old secretary had to leave suddenly due to family issues, so Hatori was in a pinch when he hired her. She had been the first person to apply, so he hired her.
She does her job well however it did take her a bit to learn all the ropes. (Kazu taught her.)
Obviously she had a huge crush on Hatori at first. (Who wouldn't?) She was definitely stressed about working for some super hot young doctor.
Once she learned Hatori was engaged she started accepting Kazu's flirting.
I laugh as I write that because me and my little sister swear that they definetly hooked up at one point. However Kazu was just hooking up and had no intentions to actually date her. He also didn't care that he had to see her everyday. So there is tension between them now lololol.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
I love you guys!
See you next Saturday!