[Michael and Gob are still living at the cabin in the woods, having a secret affair while George Michael and Maeby live in L.A. as husband and wife. Tony Wonder is secretly dating Sally Sitwell but he recently found out about Michael and Gob.
Meanwhile, the Bluths think that Michael is in love with Lindsay, so George is trying to write his son out of the will. Lucille is under house arrest and divorcing George. Tobias has come out as gay to his wife, and Stan Sitwell is trying to be a father to Lindsay.]
On Thursday morning at the cabin, chirping birds woke up Gob, so he nuzzled his brother awake.
Michael blinked and sighed dreamily. "Hey."
"Hey babe." Gob ran his fingers through Michael's hair. His brother looked so casual and relaxed before he shaved, and Gob said fondly, "I bet you would have a cuter mustache than Nashbagerlajam."
"You mean Nazghalia?"
"Yeah." Gob nodded and stroked the fuzzy stubble on his lip.
Michael smiled, recalling how Gob had fumbled pointing out Nazghalia's milk mustache on the double date. Then he mistook Michael's friendly courtesy for flirting, and became so jealous that he slept with not only her but Mrs. Whitehead too. At the time Michael thought it was mere competition and revenge for stealing Marta; he didn't realize that Gob wanted him. How silly and wrong they had been back then.
Gob tickled his dimples and fondly chewed on his ear.
Michael said with a laugh, "You know, I was actually thinking of growing a mustache or a beard."
"Beard?" Gob's ears perked up and he lay back to look at his brother curiously.
Michael nodded. "Yeah, when we go to Cabo, you know, so nobody will recognize me. How do you think it will look?"
Gob imagined it and tried not to picture Michael with a W beard like Tony Wonder had. Surely it should be an M, anyway, for Michael. What color should it be? He wondered what it would feel like too.
Michael took Gob's lack of an answer for skepticism. Apparently he thought Michael would only be cute in a mustache, not a beard. "Well, I'm not going to shave at all today, and we can see what it looks like when we go to the laundromat. Maybe I'll wear sunglasses too."
"Oh, if you need a disguise, I could bring you a hat too." Gob had many disguises at his yacht, and hipsters wore silly hats all the time to look cool.
"Sure. What time will you come home today?" Michael already thought of this cabin as their home, even if Gob was still technically living on the yacht for appearances.
Gob shrugged vaguely. "I guess me and Steve will stop rehearsing after lunch. Steve'll go work the banana stand with Buster, and I'll come pick you up in the car."
"Good. Call me when you're on the way." He would need to get all the dirty clothes and sheets into laundry bags before the afternoon.
"Okay."
Soon they got out of bed to shower and groom themselves. Michael skipped shaving, then dressed and went to cook breakfast in the kitchen.
Gob asked for eggs and bacon, then put on his robe and returned to bed. He was curious what Michael would look like with a beard, or even the five o'clock shadow he might have later today. Maybe Gob should grow a beard as well, just to make sure nobody recognized them in Cabo. Maybe it should be a Jesus beard, given that he was playing the Amazing Jesus in his magic shows. He should ask Franklin's opinion.
Then Michael returned with the tray and they ate breakfast in bed, kissing each other all the while. Michael looked forward to spending most of the day with Gob, with perhaps a chance for afternoon delight again. "I love you," he murmured and entwined their fingers.
"Love you too, Mikey." Gob squeezed his brother's hand, and told himself everything would be fine, beard or no beard. He would be able to get over his crush on Tony and forget him once they got to Cabo.
Meanwhile, Lindsay luxuriated in bed with her own secret lover, Ice. He was so sexy and handsome, and she had him all to herself at Stan Sitwell's guest house. Moving out of the shitty model home had been such a relief, to escape from any reporters and her family. Though Lindsay loved her father, his frequent fights with Tobias were tiresome, and she suspected that Dad would become just as irritated with Buster, since he had tried to kick Buster out of the penthouse several times.
After showering, Ice went to cook breakfast in the kitchen while Lindsay turned on the TV to watch the news. To her relief, the press weren't discussing her scandal anymore; they were gossiping about several negative articles that appeared in the press about Tobias.
Trisha Thoon explained that he was a never nude while playing clips from iScandalmakers/i of David Atell wearing cutoffs as he played Tobias. Then she mentioned Tobias's part in the Graft vs. Host scandal, wanting to keep his hair plugs and all the charity money.
John Beard reported that the Bluth Company press release claimed that Gob's Graft vs Host video was a parody of the TBA scandal. Trisha remained skeptical, and mentioned how Tobias competed with the Blue Man Group until they sued him.
Ice shook his head at how screwed up Lindsay's family seemed to be. That didn't even include Michael, who was crazy about his adopted sister.
Meanwhile Sally sneaked out of Tony Wonder's house and went to her own home. They were both irritable and distant, each thinking about their own problems.
Tony remained preoccupied with his plan to break up Gob and Michael. He had to save Gob from his crazy family and get him help.
Sally needed to destroy Lindsay somehow and make sure that her father Stan didn't go through with adopting Lindsay and putting her into the will.
At breakfast, she saw the bad press about Tobias, then remembered what Maeby had told her on the phone about Tobias coming out as gay. If he was gay, and okay with Lindsay dating somebody else, then that meant she wasn't miserable in her marriage anymore. Sally wanted to find out who Lindsay was dating, and expose the scandalous affair. She needed to hire a private investigator.
At the model home, George and Barry sneaked out early before the press arrived in Paradise Gardens again. George went to schmooze more company investors at the country club, while Barry went to James Alan Spangler's office to get the new will typed up from his handwritten notes.
His former paralegal James was a bit miffed that Barry stayed the night with George Bluth. It was almost like that time that Barry promised to take him fishing, only to go to Reno to meet George instead. Barry didn't even come back from Reno, deciding to buy the Swallows Restaurant and reopen the Seedy Underbelly dungeon.
"Come on," Barry said to James's pouting face. "You know George Bluth is my most important client. My only client. I couldn't leave last night because of all the paparazzi." He patted James's back. "Don't worry. We'll have plenty of time later to go to the club while I'm in town." (When Barry stayed in Reno, he had asked James to keep managing the Tobias is Queen Mary club for him. This would be the first time Barry could check on his club in person since then.)
"All right." James shrugged and tried to seem casual about how long Barry would stay "in town" before heading back to Reno. If George Bluth continued to need Barry for his divorce from Lucille, then Barry might consider moving back to Newport Beach. James sat at his desk computer. "So let's see this new will."
"Sure, sure," Barry said, giving James his handwritten notes. "George wants to make Lindsay his heir, but put in a clause that she can't inherit if she becomes a Sitwell. Is that legal?" He genuinely had no idea.
James just shrugged and said they could consult another lawyer he knew who handled probate. After all, James had to work for other lawyers when Barry left town.
"Good, good." Barry was relieved that he wouldn't have to Ask Jeeves. He sat and watched James type up the will while also calling another lawyer.
Meanwhile, Tobias and Buster hung out that morning at the model home. Buster wanted to do more magic tricks to impress Lupe, so Tobias served as his assistant.
Since George wasn't home, Tobias confessed to Buster that he was gay and dating a nurse named Dale. "I met him at a book signing, and we went to a gay protest together." Tobias also explained that he already came out to Lindsay, and she was secretly seeing Ice. "That's why she moved to Stan Sitwell's guest house."
"Oh," Buster said. "And you're going to bring Dale to Gob's magic show on Friday? Are you sure people won't find out?"
"Well technically, Dale is going with his gay friends to Tony Wonder's magic show. That way we can meet up discreetly."
"Is Lindsay going to bring Ice too?"
"I don't think so. She promised she wouldn't date him in public so that George won't find out." The Fünkes were not going to divorce until the current scandals died down, and Lindsay did not want George to kick Tobias out of the model home.
Alone at his house, Tony Wonder finally got up the courage to listen to his many voicemails from yesterday. He uncomfortably deleted the ones from Gob that asked why he didn't show up for lunch at the Gothic Castle.
Finally Tony heard the one from Steve Holt, asking for help in talking Gob out of his blasphemous magic show. Maybe Tony should meet with Steve Holt and get him to help him get Gob into therapy? Tony considered telling Steve about the incest, but just like with George Michael, Tony thought it was too horrible a trauma to inflict on the poor innocent kid.
Still, he had to come up with some plan, and figure out what to do about his promise to introduce Gob's magic show on Friday. So Tony called Steve Holt, and he awkwardly apologized for not coming to the Gothic Castle yesterday.
Steve said, "Yeah, my dad was worried when you didn't call. But we met with Jazreel and Peitros, so everything should be fine for Uncle Mike on Friday."
Tony felt a little sick at hearing about Uncle Mike, knowing what he knew. Still, he soldiered on and arranged to meet Steve and Gob at the Gothic Castle at 10AM. "But don't tell Gob yet. I-I want to surprise him."
"Sure." Steve guessed that Tony would hide somewhere at the magic club, then pop out unexpectedly.
So later that morning, Tony arrived at the Gothic Castle, but he hung back a moment to stare at Gob rehearsing onstage with Steve Holt. If only Gob wasn't so crazy, and in love with his own brother! The thought was still very disturbing.
"Tony!" Gob looked up in relief and jumped off the stage to greet the magician. "Where have you been?"
Tony shrugged and mumbled, "I, uh, had an emergency. Peitros told me that you guys had lunch, though."
"Yeah, that worked out," Gob said, a little worried by Tony keeping his distance from him. Did Tony have a fight with his boyfriend, who was jealous? Gob also felt drawn to Tony's face, with its cute W beard. He still kinda wanted to touch it, but he had to stop himself.
Tony started to pace the room and he turned to Steve Holt to include him in the conversation. "Listen, um, about Friday's show. I think Steve should give your intro instead of me."
"What?" Gob was stunned.
Steve was just confused. "I should give a speech?"
"Yeah, I mean, it's a father-son magic act, so maybe you can talk about your father. If you're too nervous to give a speech live, you can pre-record it and we can play it as a voiceover while you and Gob take the stage."
"But Tony, I thought you said you wanted to give a speech to welcome me back to the Magician's Alliance." Gob felt hurt that Tony didn't want to give the speech anymore.
"I know." Tony didn't look him in the eye, saying that he already gave a big speech at Lindsay's birthday party, and officially speaking, Rollo should do the welcoming, as Alliance president. Besides, Friday night, Tony would be cutting the time too close to sunset on Shabbot. "I already get lectured by my dad about always missing temple."
Gob grumbled, but tried to be understanding about Tony being Jewish.
Steve said, "I guess, yeah I guess I can give a speech about my dad being a great magician, and getting me into the Alliance. Cool! Steve Holt!" He was happy and oblivious to the tension between the magicians.
Tony took a seat at one of the tables. "Anyway, so why don't you go on rehearsing? I'll sit here and be your audience."
Gob hesitated, wishing he could to talk to Tony alone, but remembering Franklin's warning never to be alone with Tony. "All right." He returned to the stage and continued rehearsing for Friday's show.
Tony was relieved, but still nervous. He kept remembering what he saw at the cabin in the woods, so it was difficult to concentrate on improving the show. But he did think to himself, "No wonder his show is so blasphemous against Christians. His dad warped his view of God and made him crazy."