55
THE Legilimens had no bloody idea how it could get much worse than this. "She won't speak to me still," he moaned, lamenting to Remus and Tonks, who stood next to him, Teddy in Dora's arms as they wished him a safe trip back home and to hurry back to them soon.
"Ollie, I know you don't want to hear this, but I really cannot say that I blame her," Lupin murmured as he thought compassionately about Norah's initial reaction to Ollie's plan.
It was a suicide mission, he was sure of it. He frowned, eager to say his piece in the hopes that it would persuade the younger wizard to stay, that he did not have to do this to himself.
"She is remembering what happened the last time you left her," Remus pointed out bluntly.
"That was different, Remus," Ollie corrected in a raised voice that made him flinch the moment he looked towards Tonks and caught her eyeing him ruefully. He shot back a vehement stare of his own. He was going to forever torture himself on that particular subject.
Ollie knew he didn't need either Lupin or Tonks bringing this up to him. Not now.
"Is it?" Tonks interjected thoughtfully as she affectionately jostled baby Teddy in his arms.
His hair was a bright purple today, like his mother's, and it should have made Ollie smile at his godson's natural Metamorphing abilities, but he could not manage to bring himself to. Not when he felt like this.
"Of course, it is, T," he bristled at Dora, shooting his best friend a truly withering look as he pursed his lips shut.
"Not in Norah's mind, mate," Tonks fired back. "She's been through a trauma that no one should have to go through, Ollie," she patiently reminded her best friend. "She still has to come to terms with a lot. I imagine she's questioning what happened to her, and to her friend, Wes. She might not even feel completely healed for yours. Your grandma is one psycho bitch, mate."
Tonks shook her head, wishing desperately with all her might she could help her friends in some way or fashion, and feeling utterly helpless as to how to go about doing it.
"But I've told Norah I'm going to come back to her this time. I promised her, T," Ollie fretted, chewing on his lip. "I'd make the Unbreakable Vow if she asked me to. Nor knows I love her," he asserted vehemently.
"She does," Lupin interjected, shoving his hands in the pockets of his trousers, and fixing the younger wizard with a pointed stare. "But that's not what's bothering her, Ollie. She's more hurt than she is angry, I think," he muttered thoughtfully, understandingly. "The emotional pain of you leaving her, and all that came that followed, is still too fresh in her mind and raw," Remus said, his light brown eyes serious as he looked at the angry wizard.
"Norah…Norah said something to you?" Ollie demanded, suddenly feeling incredibly hurt and offended at the fact that his girlfriend had potentially confided in Remus and Dora and not him. "What did she say?" he asked.
Lupin cringed, afraid that Ollie would misinterpret his meaning in his agitated state, and it would seem that the younger man had.
"No, no," he quickly explained, eager to rectify his mistake and make Ollie understand. "It's just a feeling that I have, Ollie, that's all."
His eyes were dry, and he knew that he himself would find no sleepless nights over the death of the witch who'd put his friends through hell and endangered the Order.
Remus thought that what little he knew of Yaga, having heard stories about the crone from both Ollie and Dora, that she had certainly earned the fate that was waiting for her at the tip of Ollie Brennan's wand tonight.
There was a small part of Remus, the Moony within himself, that wished he could be the one to do it, to grow his fangs and let the wolf take over, sink his teeth into the column of her throat and rip it out of her, watching her lifeforce drain away. It was no more and no less than the witch deserved for what she'd done.
However, Lupin knew it was not his right, and he hoped that Dora's best friend would find it as easy as Ollie thought it was going to be to kill his own grandmother. "You're going to need to prove to Norah, with your actions, that your commitment to her is unwavering."
Remus glared at Ollie, making sure the younger man could understand his point.
Ollie offered a curt nod to Lupin as he regarded him, his burning blue eyes serious.
"I swear I will, Remus, you both should know this by now," he choked on his words. "I'm going to return to her, and to you, and when I do, I'm not going to leave again, sir."
Their serious conversation was interrupted by none other than Lyall Lupin's old female house-elf, Tandy, who at this point in Remus's father's life was more of a companion to the man than a servant to keep himself from sinking into a melancholy most nights from missing his Hope.
The little house-elf had called upon Remus several times since Teddy's birth and visited on the weekends to assist with household chores which Lupin balked at, but Tandy insisted, saying it was her pleasure to serve her master and it gave Remus an opportunity as a new father to spend more time with Teddy.
After hearing that, he'd relented and conceded, allowing the house-elf to take over.
During this time, the creature had taken quite a liking to Ollie and Norah due to the two of them treating Tandy like an equal, a person.
Clearly, she must have been hanging around Dobby, Tonks had guessed, to which Tandy had replied with a squeaky enthusiasm that Dobby was one of her friends and a distant cousin. The little house-elf ran to Ollie, nervously clutching onto fistfuls of her tea cozy and twisting them, her short black hair disheveled, her bangs hanging lank and limp in her eyes.
"Master, Tandy wishes you would reconsider and allow Tandy to accompany you on your journey," Tandy offered in a tearful sounding squeak, though there was a note of hope in her voice that broke Ollie's heart as she offered.
Tandy had already faithfully pledged her services to Ollie and Norah upon seeing how good of friends the two was with Remus and Tonks and saying that any friends of her master were as good as her own family to her.
Lyall's house-elf found herself disappointed when Ollie had denied her request to come with. Ollie knelt into a crouch so he could be more or less at eye-level with the tiny creature at looked proudly at the young elf, thinking that his father's house-elf back home, Whisky, was sure to like Tandy.
Maybe the two could even be friends if he could find her while he was there and order her to come back with him.
He shook his head as he clamped a hand onto the house elf's tiny shoulder and squeezed. His heart sank as her overly large, bat-like ears drooped in her abject disappointment.
"No. I can't ask you to be a part of what I have to do, Tandy," Ollie replied in what he hoped was a grateful-sounding tone. "I need to do this alone."
He could not allow Tandy to be associated with his crimes. If any of Yaga's or the Dark Lord's followers captured them, Tandy was sure to be executed, and he was not going to have the Lupin's family's house-elf's blood on his hands. Not Tandy.
Watching the little house-elf's face go from hopeful to crestfallen was almost more than the Legilimens could bear. He didn't even have to probe the creature's mind to pick up on her distress and disappointment at not going with him.
"I need you to stay here to watch over Norah and the others. Especially Teddy," he smiled affectionately, remembering seeing how faithfully every morning, Tonks would allow Tandy to spend time with the baby, and the little house elf would squeal in delight whenever the baby boy's hair would change color.
He was just starting to learn how to change his eye color and the shape of his nose, and Tandy had turned it into a game of which one the baby would try out in the mornings.
Ollie smiled, knowing that he was placing his girlfriend's and his friends' safety into the right hands. Tandy was more than capable.
"Safe journey then, Master Brennan. Please come back quickly, you's promised to teach Tandy how to play Gobstones, sir," Tandy wished the man in a breathless little squeak.
Ollie lowered his chin in an honored reply. The house-elf bowed respectfully and then moved away to let Remus and Dora have a moment alone with Ollie to bid him goodbye. Ollie opened his mouth to address Tonks first, but before he could a flash of white out of the corner caught his eye. It was then that he saw Norah emerging from the front door of Remus and Dora's cottage.
She kept her chin held high and defiant as she stalked, yes, literally stalked, her way down the porch steps. Ollie could only stare, suddenly devoid of speech as he wracked his brain trying to remember how his words worked, and hope that Norah would at least let him kiss her.
But Norah's expression, as she approached the group gathered in the front yard by the fence's entrance, told Ollie that perhaps what he wanted of her was entirely too much to ask. The werewolf glowered at him as Tonks backed away, with Teddy in her arms, to join Tandy and Remus, Tandy now perched on top of Lupin's shoulder, her chin resting on his hair.
"I came to wish you well and say goodbye," Norah said coldly, barely able to look at Ollie.
The sheer amount of finality in Norah's otherwise normally sweet voice was bone-chilling and sent a shiver down Ollie's back.
Ollie was at a loss for words. The only thing he found that he could do was to smile nervously at her.
"I'll be back soon," he said softly, feeling overcome with emotion at leaving Norah again. His heart broke at seeing the immense pain and fear as he looked into Norah's eyes, knowing that her fear and stress were plaguing her mind. Ollie wanted Norah to be assured that his temporary absence from her this time wasn't going to end the same way as before, but he did not know how to reassure his girlfriend.
Ollie made a motion as he leaned in towards the angle of Norah's jaw, just below her left ear. He hadn't even realized over the last two weeks that it had become one of his favorite places to kiss her. He itched to press his lips against her creamy soft skin and comfort her.
Norah, for her part, could barely look her mate in the eye. She had allowed Ollie his time to say goodbye to Remus and Tonks, and Teddy, his adorable little new godson, but as he moved in to kiss her, Norah felt her anger and terror seize control over her heart once again.
Perhaps it was because the night the two of them had argued the night Dumbledore kicked her out of the Order (of which she still had to reply to the man's owl offering Norah her spot back within the Order's ranks after apologizing to her, not sure what her decision would be.), that he had not bothered to kiss her one last time.
Professor Dumbledore had sent an owl to her just this morning requesting to meet her for a spot of tea and discuss her return to the Order, but Norah had not bothered to answer.
How could she possibly give an adequate answer, when Ollie was about to leave her and potentially go to his death?
It was a suicide mission. Maybe it was because she did not want to gift him with that affection now if she were to kiss him now. It could have also been that Norah didn't want to bear to think that this might very well be the last time that she would feel his lips against hers in his kiss.
Whatever her reasons, Norah drew back angrily and turned away from Ollie, not allowing her mate to touch her or get near her.
The werewolf gnashed her teeth together in her anger and stood to her full height as tall and proud as the short petite wolf could muster and walked purposefully back inside Remus and Dora's cottage.
Norah knew she would be damned to hell if she was going to stand out here in her friends' front yard and watch her mate, the man she loved more than her own miserable wretched life, go to his death, to beg him not to go when the man had chosen to go.
Ollie's heart sank to the pit of his stomach as Norah refused his kiss in front of their friends. He stood, wishing for nothing more than for the ground beneath his boots to open up beneath him as a hole and swallow him whole, just like as it had done to Norah and Tonks.
He watched the one witch who he loved most in this life and the next walk away from him and taking his heart and love with her. Ollie tightly closed his eyes angrily with regret as he came to realize this must have been how Norah felt the night the two of them had argued and he'd rejected her and walked away. He felt as though he deserved every ounce of Norah's anger and her mistrust in him right now. He knew that.
Ollie swore to himself that going forward, he was going to stop at nothing and do whatever it took to restore Norah's certainty and her faith in him and his abilities.
"Take care of her," Ollie begged Lupin and Tonks, both of whom had returned to their friend's side as he watched Norah disappear back into their cottage. "Protect her for me," he implored passionately, his blue eyes shining.
Tonks looked up at Ollie and exchanged a quick glance with her husband, a serious and worried frown forming on her face as her brows came together.
It was the first time she'd heard her best mate allude to any semblance of fear within himself that he might not make it out.
She understood that it would mean death, for it was the only thing that would keep Ollie from Norah at this point in the man's life. "We will. We swear it. With our lives, mate," she whispered as she made her vow to her friend.
Ollie turned away and almost Disapparated, though something gave the Legilimens pause.
He turned around and looked back towards Remus and Dora with a scowl forming on his face, as his eyebrows furrowed in a heavy frown.
"Tell Professor Dumbledore that if he wishes to use my home as a secondary base of operations for Headquarters once I take care of Yaga, to have a team ready to sweep the place. I'm not going to wait," he vowed passionately.
Ollie knew that purging his own familial home of anything Dark in such a relatively short time would be a monumental task, but it could be done. If Yaga had managed to get a message to Dolores Umbridge to somehow inform her of the location of Headquarters, then there was no telling who else within the Dark Lord's commands that she had divulged the address, who she had tortured it out of.
Either Wes or Norah probably, if he had to hazard a guess.
Remus quickly nodded his understanding.
Satisfied, Ollie turned, fixing his eyes on the dirt path ahead of him, and turned on his heels as his mind's eye formed the image of the one place that he knew he didn't want to return to, and yet return he must.
Ollie clenched his jaw and fought against the lump forming in his throat. The stinging hurtful memory of the kiss that Norah did not give him burned in his mind and plagued his thoughts until he could think of nothing else.
He prayed a silent plea to Merlin and his mother above, Merlin bless her soul, that disposing of Yaga would take him no less than an hour, maybe two, and then he'd return.
Then he would collect that kiss she owed him, and many more after that as interest.
As Ollie Disapparated and the fatigued ringing started in his ears as he instructed his mind and his magic to take him back home, it began to rain.
Norah stood at the edge of the window, watching him leave, bitter, angry tears streaming down her face when the familiar woosh of a fire roaring to life in the Lupins' hearth startled the young blonde werewolf.
Whirling around on her heels, a cry of surprise upon her lips, she raised her head so quickly that a muscle in her neck pulled absolutely the wrong way and sent a sharp wave of pain up her neck and through her ear.
Norah yelped in response and clamped a hand to her now aching right ear in the hope of soothing the pain as none other than Albus Dumbledore was gingerly stepping over the metal grate of the fireplace, brushing the soot off of his immaculate set of dark purple robes.
Professor Dumbledore's blue eyes were twinkling merrily as he peered at the blonde over the rims of his half-moon spectacles, at exactly the moment Remus and Dora barreled through their front door with Teddy in tow, having heard the cry of surprise Norah let out.
Tonks's cheeks burned with color as her gaze flitted from Dumbledore, who was looking at the pair expectantly, and then back to Norah, whose lips were parted in shock and she was looking as flustered as Tonks was sure she felt.
"Professor, sir, it's—this—this is a pleasant surprise, ah, we didn't e—expect you," Tonks stammered, shifting Teddy in her arms, and glancing down at the baby to ensure her son hadn't woken.
She smiled sadly as Teddy's hair was starting to turn black again to mirror Ollie's. Tonks glanced back up as she heard Dumbledore let out a kind chuckle as the old warlock strode to the middle of the room.
Albus clapped his hands neatly together in front of his middle and beamed at the trio. He carefully studied Norah Jameson with a scrutinizing eye, assessing her figure in her pair of simple black flared jeans and a burnt orange russet sweater, thinking the poor thing still looked entirely too skinny and needed to eat.
"I do hope you will forgive the intrusion, Nymphadora," he murmured kindly. He chuckled a bit at Tonks's face flushing red at the use of her first name, though she knew quite better than to correct the Headmaster. "I was merely in the area and came to the realization that I had not heard back from you, Miss Jameson, regarding your reply about whether or not you wished to rejoin the Order, so I thought I would pop in for a spell and extend the invitation in person myself. I believe it would be best if I am allowed to speak to Miss Jameson, alone, if I might," he said, slowly turning to look at Norah as he talked.
Remus and Tonks were looking utterly gobsmacked, but Lupin was the first to recover.
Lupin stepped forward and interjected before Tonks could so much as open her mouth to speak.
"O—of course, Headmaster, take as much time as you need, sir. Tea or coffee?" Remus asked, already pulling out his wand from his back pocket and heading towards their kitchen.
Dumbledore nodded, waving his own wand, and pointing them at the two leather armchairs so that the furniture moved of its own accord and drifted lazily towards the lit fireplace, which sent its warmth and light throughout the small but modes enough living room. "A cup of tea would be wonderful, Remus, thank you kindly."
Professor Dumbledore turned his piercing blue eyes towards Tonks, who remained rooted to her spot in the entryway of their living room and unable to move until Remus nudged her lightly in the side with his elbow.
Tonks blinked herself out of her stupor and came back to herself. She mumbled a half-hearted apology under her breath and mentioned something about putting Teddy down for a nap, and then reading the latest chapter in one of her books that Tonks was slowly working her way through, but that she and Remus would be nearby if either of them were needed at all.
Lupin returned shortly with a mug of tea for each of them and a small plate of a couple of chocolate chip cookies that Molly had baked the other day and had brought over for them. Remus shot her one last look over his shoulder before disappearing, as though silently trying to confirm that Norah felt safe and comfortable alone in Dumbledore's presence.
She smiled back and gave a tiny nod, trying to communicate that she'd be just fine. Satisfied, he returned her nod and disappeared around the corner and out into the hallway, likely to check on Teddy and his wife.
Soon, the two of them were alone, making Norah startle. She'd somehow managed to remain in one piece and calm and collected, though everything within her clenched in fear.
"Please, have a seat, Miss Jameson," Dumbledore suggested in a tone that was bordering on finality, as though the option to remain standing was not up for discussion.
Judging by the look on his face, they might be here a while. Norah could only comply.
She swallowed down hard. "To—to what do I owe the honor of your visit today, sir?" she inquired, unnecessarily, already knowing why the man was here but wanted Albus to say it.
"I believe, Miss Jameson, that needs no explanation. You should know why I am here. I have not yet received a response from you. Do you wish to rejoin the Order alongside your partner or not?" Dumbledore asked her, softly.
Norah could only stare at the older man as she struggled to collect her thoughts. She turned her head sharply away from Albus for a moment and stared into the flames of the fire in the fireplace as though nothing else mattered.
She did not understand why he was gifting her a second chance to prove herself. Deep down, she knew she did not deserve such a chance. Someone could have been seriously hurt by her actions of not divulging the nature of Greyback's plan earlier.
Because of her, Tonks had fallen down into a hole that had been set as a trap. When she'd been imprisoned in the cellar, Yaga had only taken too much glee and delight in revealing that Greyback and the Dark Lord put her up to it, wanting to see what the She-Wolf would do.
She was lucky Tonks hadn't been killed by it. And now Ollie's about to get himself killed, she thought, feeling tears prick at her eyelids.
She did not understand why this was happening to her. What if…what if she had read this all wrong, and everything was a part of some grand master plan to break her viciously, to humiliate her even further for what she'd done, destroying her both physically and emotionally until there was nothing of her left? Fear seized at her heart as Norah did her best to hang on to the shred of Gryffindor bravery and strength within her heart that still remained, at the very least, on the outside.
"I—I'm sorry, Albus, but I can't,' she whispered in a half-choked pitiable sob as she slowly turned back to look at the warlock, swallowing a lump in her throat and blinking back a fresh wave of salty, briny liquid. "No."
If Dumbledore was at all disappointed, the old wizard hid it well as he rested back against his chair and folded his hands together in front of his middle.
"Might I ask why?" Albus asked kindly, peering at her over the rim of his mug. "From where I stand, I am the one who needs to apologize, my lady. I should not have sent you from the Order and been so quick to doll out what I deemed at the time a fitting punishment. I was wrong in my behavior towards you, Miss Jameson. I would like to apologize and make it up to you in whatever way that I possibly could. I thought, perhaps, considering your new romantic relationship with Mr. Brennan, you'd want to remain in the Order alongside the man, but it seems that I am mistaken in that regard. Nevertheless, I would like your help in understanding why."
Norah's eyes flashed. "Because I do not deserve it, Professor," she said coldly. "I never will. If Ollie hadn't…if he'd never known me, then I—I'm sure none of this would have happened. He—he wouldn't have been hurt. Because of me…" Her voice broke at her words.
Professor Dumbledore looked sadly across the way at the blonde werewolf fidgeting uncomfortably in her chair, suddenly unable to meet his gaze and picking at her cuticles to avoid looking him in the eyes.
He was silent for a long moment as he shifted in his chair, staring off beyond Norah for a moment.
"I must admit when Mr. Brennan first brought you back to Headquarters, I did not fully trust you," he admitted finally, keeping his voice low.
Norah stiffened and gritted her teeth. She just knew what was going to come next.
Dumbledore was sure to call her some sort of name for her condition and how her parentage had been a danger to the Order this entire time. And then he was sure to call the Aurors here and they would take her to Azkaban to a cell with her name on it and leave her to rot alongside those foul Dementors.
Norah shivered, her blood going cold just thinking about those disgusting creatures worse than Death itself. Norah felt something bitter and vile crawl up her throat that no amount of sipping the tea Remus had made could quell.
"I'm sorry, Albus," she bit out. "For everything. What happened was my fault."
Dumbledore stared at Norah for a moment, the intensity of the man's piercing blue eyes causing Norah to squirm uncomfortably in her seat. She never appreciated it when he did this.
She'd always gotten the impression that Albus was trying to bore into her eyes, these windows to her soul, and see-through her heart.
He continued, heaving a tired sigh, breaking Norah out of her dark swirling tempest of thoughts as she wondered why he was here.
Really here. Norah doubted the man had come merely to offer her back her old position back alongside Ollie in the Order this evening.
"Miss Jameson, please listen carefully. Allow me to elaborate. I know matters have been…ah…difficult for you, to put it lightly, and secrets were kept, but before you judge, allow me to explain." Until the werewolf's feeble nod of her head did he continue. "I…I heard from Nymphadora and Oliver in several letters these last few weeks that you have been horribly mistreated under Yaga's care. Had we known you were being held captive, I would have sent an extraction team to get you out. I learned what happened to your friend. And I know you've been waiting for a rescue but given the fact that it was all news to me, I could not make a concrete plan. You were incredibly lucky Oliver stepped forward and saved your life that day. And Wes…" he trailed off, pausing at the sudden crumpling of Norah's face at the mention of the wolf's name.
The young man did hold importance for her, Dumbledore concluded, as he waited for her to speak, watching the blonde with a pained expression on his lined and weathered face.
"H—he saved my life several times when we were…on the run, Professor," Norah inhaled, pain constricting her chest. "Wes, he—he did all that he could to save me, and I did nothing to help him. All I ever did was doubt him, Albus." She swallowed as a tear slipped from her lid that she angrily reached up to brush away with a well-practiced finger flick.
"You have defied my expectations, Miss Jameson, since your appointment in the Order. You have coped with your lycanthropy, what others say about you. I know that there has been some talk amongst other members as to the nature of your parentage, which has culminated in distrust for you," he sighed, a dark shadow flitting across his face as a vision of Fenrir Greyback flitted through his mind's eye. "You would not give in, no matter how often the whispers behind your back were heard. And I can admire that in you. I respect it, my dear." He chuckled and fell quite silent.
Norah blinked owlishly at the older man, studying Albus as he paused to take a hearty swig of his drink. Wait. What did he just say?
Professor Dumbledore chuckled dry, as though the man had just read her mind. And then, she foolishly remembered that he could.
"I said that I admire it," he said quietly. "You are a true Gryffindor, my dear. You fight for what is yours. Those months spent in captivity could not have been easy for you, but you did not cave in to your kidnapper's demands, yes?"
Norah gaped, staring at Dumbledore as though the gentleman had grown two heads.
"…Ah…thank you, I—I suppose," she said quietly, not sure what else to say. "I do try."
Professor Dumbledore grunted, shifting in his chair. Norah stared, feeling her throat constrict as she wound her hands around her mug of tea and tried to collect her thoughts.
"Was there ever a time, sir," she began, choosing her words carefully and speaking slowly, hardly daring to hope for an answer to her question, "when I made you proud? Or since my appointment and leading up to my dismissal, was I always a disappointment, sir?"
Dumbledore paused as he looked intently at Norah for a moment. "The morning of your investigation into those poor unfortunate souls in Echo Alley. Had I known it was a cleverly designed trap, I would have never sent you. And again, when I learned of the monstrous conditions under which you were kept by Ollie's grandmother's hand and did not reveal a single piece of information," he said bitterly.
"But…you never came to see me in St. Mungo's," Norah whispered, as she recollected back and thought over that time when Dumbledore had briefly popped in to spare her further stress and humiliation from Umbridge, but that had been the last she'd seen of him.
She'd thought he would have stopped by to see her more than that, but Dumbledore didn't.
She swallowed and continued. "I—I assumed that I wasn't living up to your expectations," Norah stammered, feeling suddenly awkward and more than a little uncomfortable as her cheeks burned.
Norah knew the heat to her cheeks had nothing to do with the heat emanating from the fire, but that of her own personal embarrassment instead.
In all honesty, she'd not thought Dumbledore would have given her an answer.
But Albus shook his head vehemently. "On the contrary, Miss Jameson, even now, you continue to impress me. You stayed relatively calm several times in the face of danger, first when you and Miss Tonks were trapped in that hole that caved in beneath you, and then again, I imagine, and I cringe to think what Yaga put you and your friend through these last nine months." His face fell, and he looked at her with such sorrow that Norah had to look away. "You've my condolences. I'm sorry about Wes."
A trickle of heat snuck its way into Norah's chest as she furiously blinked away her tears at the mention of her best friend's name, dead because of her and her inability to react fast.
But the fact that she had made the Order founder proud was enough to give her pause.
"I did not come to see you in St. Mungo's that night," the Headmaster continued, "because I could not find it within myself to admit that despite my initial trepidations towards you, that I was growing fond of you. But I was proud, Norah, as much as it pains me to admit that I did not trust you back then…" he confessed, shooting her an apologetic look as he allowed his voice to trail off for a moment.
Norah numbly nodded her head at all of the information, her brain taking it all in like a sponge. But something he said made her frown.
"But why? Why the waste of an appointment?" The question tumbled out of Norah's lips before she could stop herself. "If you did not trust me, Albus, why induct me into the Order and make me Ollie's partner?"
Dumbledore stared at her solemnly. "My dear young lady, your appointment alongside Oliver was never a waste. Oliver had needed a new partner to work alongside when Mr. Lupin announced his intentions to marry Miss Tonks. He is… at times, more often then naught, a difficult man to work with, due to his sometimes unpredictable and volatile nature, but you have handled the man's temperament better than I could have ever dared to hope. Which is why I find it utmost surprising and more than a little disturbing you do not seem so eager to return to the Order alongside the man." His greying eyebrows knitted together as he stroked his long beard in thought. "You do not have to do this," Albus declared to Norah. "Oliver cares for you, Miss Jameson, I think by this point in your relationship, we all see it."
Dumbledore felt somewhat awkward to voice what he knew about the sweet and kind werewolf's relationship with the hot-headed Legilimens, but he could not bear to see this young woman in so much pain at the moment.
"On behalf of myself and everyone in the Order, I'd like to sincerely apologize, Miss Jameson. You owe me nor anyone else any forgiveness, Norah," Albus explained further as he leaned forward in his chair to study her better. "I have no excuse for dismissing you so coldly as I did. I should not have been so rash. I put you in terrible danger by sending you away. Were it not for me, perhaps your friend might still be alive. He could have been given shelter."
The blonde still stared at him with huge, doe-like brimming blue eyes as Dumbledore failed to find the appropriate words to speak to her.
Professor Dumbledore was loathed to admit to himself that he had initially harbored misgivings about the werewolf when Remus and Ollie had returned that night with the injured young woman in tow in Oliver's arms.
But he was now quite confident that he had chosen the precise person their Order needed, or more specifically, that Ollie needed. Norah Jameson was stronger than she seemed, brave when she needed to be, where it counted, and more resilient than anyone could have ever expected her to be.
The blonde werewolf was kind, gentle, generous. Not at all like Greyback, which made Dumbledore question just how she had managed to survive such a harsh upbringing under the savage beast's rule.
Werewolves in general, aside from Remus, of course, remained still something of a foreign people to Dumbledore, and Norah in particular was not an easy she-wolf for Albus to understand, but if there were ever a person Albus would aspire to be more like, it was her.
He was grateful he was giving Norah this second chance, another opportunity to prove her loyalty towards her friends and the Order, but he had to make her understand just why.
"I will not ask for your forgiveness. I simply hope for you to know, before I leave here today, that I regret dismissing you so coldly and not taking more consideration into your confession that night. I know that an old man like myself does not deserve your forgiveness, Miss Jameson, for the way that I reacted towards your news that night was worse than you could have deserved from me. I only wish for you to know that I am deeply sorry."
And Albus looked it too, Norah noticed.
There were dark circles under the man's eyes that suggested he'd not slept well, and he was looking older. More haggard, which was saying something.
"My anger towards you that night for not speaking up about the truth of your adopted father's plan clouded my mind and my judgment. I was unable to let myself see past it. I will forever regret my behavior towards you, which is why I cannot accept the fact that you do not wish to return to the Order, and I shan't. If you are agreeable, I expect you back on Monday, when Oliver returns from his…task."
At the mention of her mate's name, Norah straightened her posture in her chair and sat upright as stiff as a board, her expression hardened as she tried to mask the hurt and bitterness that she wanted so desperately to put from herself.
"Forgive me, Albus, for my candor, but my mate has made it quite clear where his heart lay and it isn't with me, sir."
She spoke dryly and lifted her chin resolutely. It took all of Norah's strength just to keep the hurt and anger from her warbling voice now.
She'd spent all of last night and this morning wallowing in her own misery and heartbreak. Norah decided that she had no intention of allowing the bitterness of Ollie's betrayal at going back to Yaga and leaving her a second time to shadow anymore of her life going forward.
Norah told herself it was what was best, but still, she knew what she had in mind would be far from easy, but she had to stay strong.
Dumbledore shook his head gently, trying to dissuade the young witch from her mistaken belief.
"Norah," he began, using her first name in the hopes it would inspire her to heed his words, "Oliver…" He felt a greater sense of urgency at declaring the man's heart than he would have thought possible at this moment.
But Norah could not let the Headmaster continue and interrupted forcefully before the aging warlock could say his piece in defense of her mate. "The truth is, sir, that I think…Ollie would rather die alongside Yaga than be with me. He blames himself still for what happened."
Norah's voice broke as she finished, and she looked to the hardwood floor to immediately hide the tears gathering at the edges of her lids, not wanting the man to see. Her fingernails dug into the skin of her palms and Norah chastised herself for failing her self-promised intentions so quickly now.
Dumbledore opened his mouth to speak, to tell her that what she'd just said was not at all true, but before he could manage to utter even the first syllable of the first word, she spoke up. And when she did, her next statement sent a chill through Albus's spine and into his heart.
Her voice was so faint, it was barely above a whisper, and Albus had to lean forward and strain to hear the blonde werewolf better.
"Which is why I have to give myself up to her."