+Neethime 2:27 pm
So +SheroOfJustice came in and was like 'Assassin, you need to start pitching in for groceries' while I was watching hentai for my review channel, soooooooo… I set up an OnlyFans! Want feet pics? I gotchu! Wanna commission art? Message me! Need someone assassinated? That's my class!
+SheroOfJustice 2:31 pm
in reply to +Neethime
why are you always like this
+SheroOfJustice 2:33 pm
in reply to +Neethime
why can't you be normal why couldn't I have gotten a normal Servant
+Neethime 2:35 pm
in reply to +SherouOfJustice
You mean lk the burger vaccuum over there. Oh that's rght she dropped you faster than Medea dropped her panties
+Suzuchan 2:38 pm
in reply to +Neethime +SheroOfJustice
OOF You gonna be good justice boner, that was one mighty slay
+SheroOfJustice 2:45 pm
I've come to make an announcement
Shirou Emiya is a bitch-ass motherfucker
+Neethime 2:46 pm
in reply to +SheroOfJustice
At last you finally understand
+Neethime 2:47 pm
Hey everyone, it's time for my first merch drop! Get your "Shirou Emiya is a bitch-ass motherfucker" shirts, hoodies, mugs, or panties from the neethime store now! Huge thanks to +KissTheCook for sponsoring this new business venture!
+Neethime 2:48 pm
(1/2) We've got your used sword shards here from all the times he's had them broken, and for a limited time only we have a set of cookware that was actually used by the man himself! All of our merchandise has been stamped with our seal of approval to guarantee that you really do
+Neethime 2:49 pm
(2/2) get your bitch-ass motherfucker value. We've got Emiya the nerd, Emiya the chef hat. Emiya the naked apron! And last but not least, the Emiya the bitch-ass bobble head! First 50 orders get a signature from the bitch-ass himself!
+KissTheCook 2:50 pm
in reply to +Neethime
What did you stamp on my pots and pans?!
+Neethime 2:51 pm
in reply to +KissTheCook
I didn't know you still cared about those. Can't you just make new ones from prana alone?
+KissTheCook 2:52 pm
in reply to +Neethime
Those were bought by Kiritsugu.
+Neethime 2:53 pm
in reply to +KissTheCook
Shit
+SheroOfJusctice 2:56 pm
in reply to +Neethime +KissTheCook
Wat hte fuckk y!
+RinToesucker 4:05 pm
For those who crave my perfect soles… now is your chance to have them all to yourself ;P
Bidding has now started on my Only Fans! ;)
Sub now & Dm with your Offer.
Bidding open until Sunday 11.50pm
Will be supplied with 2 day worn socks :)
#Findom #footfetish #softsoles
+SexiestMatou 7:15pm
in reply to +RinToesucker
Hi Tohsaka, firstly, thank you for the expedient delivery. Second, I had a quick question: the socks seem to have some kind of bat shit on them, was that on purpose?
+RinToesucker 7:16pm
in reply to +SexiestMatou
Sorry no refunds
+KissTheCook 8:03 pm
My Master wants you all to know that there's an account +RinToesucker out there pretending to be her. So like… those aren't her feet, guys. Hers look like this:
Attachment: you_can_probably_guess-dot-jpg
+RinToesucker 8:12 pm
in reply to +KissTheCook
yo bitch im tryna make some cash here, mind your own fucking business. Blocked.
+SexiestMatou 8:19 pm
in reply to +KissTheCook
Oh, thank you kindly. Though the resolution could be better, this will go well in my shrine.
+SexiestMatou 8:20 pm
How do I delete a tweet?
+ThiccPurple 8:30 pm
in reply to +SexiestMatou
It's not too hard nii-san, go to your C: drive, then to the Windows folder, then select the folder named "system32" and move it to the recycle bin. That should get rid of any bad tweets.
+kiss-my-asp 1:30 pm
Are you ready to become an influencer and get recognized like I did? Join Cleo's Glow-up program today and get 15% off! Let's take this journey, together!
+Suzuchan 1:34 pm
in reply to +kiss-my-asp
not to be like, rude or anything, but like, this is totes your OF twitter, right? think you mighta posted on the wrong one, babe ;)
+kiss-my-asp 1:35 pm
in reply to +Suzuchan
choke on my hugeass magic snake, nobody asked the local fetish fox to say anything
+Suzuchan 1:37 pm
in reply to +kiss-my-asp
wow. so rude. lsten, at least i own my bit instead of making a separate account for it, but that's none of my business. might be Neethime's, though- hey gurl! your competition is online!
+Neethime 1:39 pm
in reply to +kiss-my-asp
Fellow Assassin! It's seems we'll engage in a battle of fate (ha roll credits), guile, and lewdness to see which servant holds the top OnlyFans title!
+kiss-my-asp 1:40 pm
in reply to +Neethime
Not really afraid of a kitsune who switched to bats because the other foxes were too mean to her, tbh
+ThotRider 11:23 am
sometimes you just need a day away,
pics by +Issei
+Tamako 11:30 am
in reply to +ThotRider
but sis you never work lmao
+ThotRider 11:40 am
in reply to +Tamako
Gimme a sec to reply… oh wait, my agent is on the line to discuss 6 business deals, I have a camera on my face filming season SIXTEEN of #KeepingUpWithTheCelts (you may have heard of it) and I'm raising my 3 amazing Cu's… Grail bless you and your worry about me :)))
+kiss-my-asp 5:12 pm
Out on a date with BigCaesars! What a great and stunning man, to our past life and many more together!
+SexiestMatou 5:13 pm
in reply to +kiss-my-asp
What the hell do you see in that guy like really I love you to the day you die
+kiss-my-asp 5:15 pm
in reply to +SexiestMatou
it's like , really big
+kiss-my-asp 9:58 pm
They say that dreams are what keeps us alive… What are your dreams in life?
Attachment: sunset_hot_tub_hubby-dot-jpg
+Neethime 10:00 pm
in reply to +kiss-my-asp
my dream is to stop basic tweets like this from basic bitch accounts (that I /have/ to keep tabs on) like yours from showing up on my page. can you make that a reality and stfu? but what do I know, I'm just a bat.
+IrishDog 10:05 pm
in reply to +kiss-my-asp
This is why social media can rot your mind, Issei. Also, I have hit the spending limit on that card you gave me.
+ThotRider 10:06 pm
in reply to +IrishDog
You spent Issei's College savings on a cam whore you Simp.
+IrishDog 10:07 pm
in reply to +ThotRider
You don't need college to be a monk if you just kill enough people. Just let the fake priest train him up
+Neethime 7:39 pm
if anyone needs me, ill be in the toesucker's mansion for the melty blood tournament
+Neethime 3:43 am
I feel unfulfilled and empty. I think I've been wasting my manifestation on shallow material things instead of filling this hole in my heart. I'm so tired of it all. Wondering if it'd be better if I disappeared.
+Tamako 7:07 am
in reply to +Neethime
hey hime r u ok? wanna talk in dms or call?
+Neethime 11:05 am
in reply to +Tamako
Nah I'm good, I feel a lot better after +BlushingBride gave me a blowjob
+Tamako 11:07 am
in reply to +Neethime
?how?the fuck?
+Neethime 11:15 am
in reply to +Tamako
Magic can do crazy shit, man
+Suzuchan 3:43 pm
Hey +SheroOfJustice I'm at the konbini do you want anything
+SheroOfJustice 3:51 pm
in reply to +Suzuchan
Um, Suzuka, I think we should stop seeing each other.
+Suzuchan 3:52 pm
in reply to +SheroOfJustice
Uhhhhhh wtf? Dude I was just asking if you wanted a burger or some instant ramen where thte fuck did this come from
+SheroOfJustice 3:55 pm
in reply to +Suzuchan
I just… it doesn't feel right to me anymore. I need to be doing more with my life and I don't think I can do this at the same time.
+Suzuchan 3:57 pm
in reply to +SheroOfJustice
Yeah okay, dumping me because I'm too beautiful for your bitch ass. Maybe if you got rid of that old yee-yee-ass haircut you got you'd get some Sabers on your dick.
+Suzuchan 3:58 pm
in reply to +SheroOfJustice
Oh, better yet, maybe Issei'll call your justice-ass if he ever stop fucking with that dog or druid he fucking with.
|/~Shirou~\|
+Neethime 4:04 pm
in reply to +Suzuchan
Dude wtf he just locked himself in the bathroom, I can hear him crying through my headphones even with noise cancelling on max
+Suzuchan 4:05 pm
in reply to +Neethime
Tell him next time he wants to get pegged he can ask ThotRider
+Neethime 4:54 pm
So I was thinking about my past, who I used to be as a kitsune. Before I met Tama, Suzuka, or… Shirou. I realize that, yeah, I went through a lot. But I'm still here, and I'm still a pretty powerful and awesome servant. I was thinking, maybe I should put myself out there more, talk to people a bit more, you know?
+SheroOfJustice 5:09 pm
in reply to +Neethime
Hime please blink twice if you're being held hostage
+Neethime 5:15 pm
in reply to +SheroOfJustice
Listen Shirou, I can have an emotional arc too! I'm not just a joke character!
+Neethime 5:16 pm
in reply to +SheroOfJustice
bitch
+Neethime 5:25 pm
Hey +DELiGHTWORKSInc did you leave the hoe that wrote me unsupervised? I demand a refund ffs
+DELiGHTWORKSInc 5:33 pm
in reply to +Neethime
How the fuck did you get this account handle, literally not a single one of you should know this exists
+Neethime 5:34 pm
in reply to +DELiGHTWORKSInc
It was Minase wasn't it?
+Neethime 5:49 pm
in reply to +DELiGHTWORKSInc
The silence is deafening
+StorytellerOfShinjuku 6:01 pm
in reply to +Neethime +DELiGHTWORKSInc
No, you would be able to tell if it were him. Trust me. I recommend checking the Einzbern castle.
+Neethime 4:01 am
I am so tired of peeing
+Neethime 4:03 am
I drink the water (which i apparently need to live or something?) then i have to go put the water somewhere else five minutes later
+Neethime 4:04 am
I drink the water, i go to a place to undrink the water, i wash my hands, i leave, then i have to drink MORE WATER
+Neethime 4:05 am
Guess where that water ends up
NOT IN ME
+Neethime 4:06 am
I give the water to my body, and like a child it tosses it out and demands more
all hours of the day
all hours of the night
+Neethime 4:07 am
No matter what the fuck im doing my life is interrupted by piss this is such BULLSHIT
+OfficialBBChan 6:00 am
in reply to +Neethime
Sounds like you have a real problem. You should see a urologist!
+Neethime 2:19 pm
in reply to +OfficialBBChan
FUCK OFF NO-BLADDER BITCH
+OfficialBBChan 2:20 pm
in reply to +Neethime
;P
+Neethime 2:45pm
I put so much money into BBit-coin that if god doesnt answer my prayers shirou's house will be repossessed, the toesucker estate will be demolished by an oil tycoon, and the city of fukyu might technically be owned by china in a couple weeks
+xXXKirayXXx 2:50pm
in reply to +Neethime
Good child of the Lord, I feel your plight. While other, less grounded priests might admonish you for your focus on earthly desires, I understand that investing is just what you kids do for fun. I've heard that the new crypto "Chokon" is pretty lit, aha.
+Neethime 2:57pm
in reply to +xXXKirayXXx
youre a pretty creepy dude, priest man, but hell yeah! What's chokon tho?
+Neethime 2.58pm
in reply to +xXXKirayXXx
NO NO NO I TAKE IT BACK I TAKE IT BACK DONT
+xXXKirayXXx 2:59pm
in reply to +Neethime
It's too late, my little pogchamp. :-)
+Neethime 3:00pm
in reply to +xXXKirayXXx
NO! YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME, I /INVENTED/ LIGMA!
+xXXKirayXXx 3:01pm
in reply to +Neethime
Chokon DEEZ NUTS! GOTEEMMMM
+Neethime 5:00pm
I said BOOM BOOM! Imma tell you why Kirayy is the best 360 noscoper on the xXxINTERNETxXx you fedora-wearing scrublords cannot comprehend the euphoria i've experienced while watching xXXKirayXXx on twitch
+Neethime 5:01 pm
Sample Text
✨Lens flare✨
Sample text
Mum get the camera!
Peace out cheeky scrublords✌
+Neethime 5:12pm
Okay +xXXKirayXXx i did what you asked, delete the fucking tweet
Kirei leaned back and smiled. This was sweeter than every time Rin had forced herself to hold back tears. He could feel the suffering even in this diminished connection through a screen. His work was nearly done.
He placed his hands on his keyboard to type one last message.
+xXXKirayXXx 5:13 pm
in reply to +Neethime
lol, lmao
His grin stretched so wide that his face hurt. The Lord was truly Good for having given him the internet.
"Poggers," he whispered reverently.
Man, dealing with FFN's formatting really makes this unfun. They censor the "bit" out of "bit-coin". If you want to read these with more intended formatting (although sometimes I still screw things up, but that's on me), check out this story on AO3. It looks as it should be there, with twitter handles, emojis, etc.
Alright, sorry, had to get that out. As usual this is all my Discord's fault, with special blame placed on Endy (nd7878) for compiling this and writing many of these. You can join us with the invite code on my profile page, right at the top. If you want a direct link, that's also on the AO3 chapter.
Ending theme? Eh, sure. someBODY by Triple-Q. Hopefully if you're reading this in the future, he hasn't been DMCA'd to hell.
Thanks for reading.