AN: a spicy chapter with some spicy stuff. Fave moment for me had to be Mcgonagall's reaction.
Chapter 55- "I'm losing my baby, Losing my favourite game."
Circe stared at the flyer in her hands, feeling like her heart was about to be torn in two. Her eyes stung from snow-blindness as she'd spent much of the day stumbling about in the dazzling whiteness, roaming the Castle's grounds and looking for a place of respite. She had been sat for quite some time in the sanctuary of the standing stones, looking out over the Highland hills and stealing a glance back down at the flyer every time she dared believe it wasn't true. But it was.
"The Weird Sisters: New Lineup!
First gig 2nd March, Academy Birmingham"
Circe couldn't blame Myron for making the decision. She'd not sent him a word since her decision to join The Order last year and she couldn't really blame him for moving on. She had quite a pile of letters from her old school friend sitting in her desk draws, all of which she'd been too frightened to open, but Myron's handwriting was distinct enough that she knew who the sender was before she opened it. Circe had always assumed this would come eventually; her lack of contact, refusal to answer Myron's letters, her injury. It all meant that her time with The Weird Sisters was over and the band would have to look elsewhere for a guitarist, and there it was, finally come to fruition. She supposed Myron had sent her the flyer as a means of telling her of his decision. The band had moved on without her. And the flyer in her hands was the final snap of the tethering rope, and now she was at sea with no one to blame but herself.
She had at first wondered why Tonks hadn't said anything to her, told her that their mutual friend was growing agitated and angry with her. But then again, Tonks was just as equally occupied these days. What time did either of them have for the trivial problems of a band lineup and the whinging of its frontman? Yet Circe still felt like it was a betrayal, like she'd left Myron alone and moreso, she'd abandoned a part of her old self and burned any bridges that she may have had back to her life before this war.
If I do end up surviving this war, I'll tell Myron everything. She vowed, looking down at her mangled arm. I'll tell him how sorry I am and that I don't hold it against him that he had to move on and find someone else for the band. I'll tell him that I kept my distance to keep him safe. Not because I'd outgrown him or wanted nothing to do with him. And maybe he'll understand...
Yet again, she found herself wanting and craving Severus's arms to weep into but he was occupied. Since the night that Harry had first had his troubling dream, he and Severus had been locked away every spare minute they had. She glanced down to Hagrid's hut in the valley below and inhaled deeply from the drifting smell of fire smoke on the breeze. Circe wondered how she had failed to notice Hagrid's absence until a few days ago. It was criminal in her part, Hogwarts wasn't Hogwarts without Hagrid in it.
She was reminded of that Joni Mitchell song:
"Don't it always seem to go,
That you don't know what you've got till it's gone."
She remembered that day, many years ago now, when she had run to Hagrid's hut to escape the rain where they had talked of Severus and broomsticks. When they had gathered round his fire with a strong cup of tea in a much simpler time. Back then, her biggest concern had been about gossip and how tetchy her Byronic colleague had been around her. Circe smiled to herself.
God, I haven't called Severus "my Byronic colleague" for a while…
Now, Severus was more than just her colleague. He was her rock, her second half, her twin star, made of the same carbon atoms that had formed the beginning of the universe.
She picked herself up, trying to find the courage inside her to simply soldier on. Yet as she passed by the windows of Hagrid's hut, she found the small but comforting little space empty. She sighed to herself, feeling like she could have done with a good old Hagrid catch-up. She wanted to know where the giant had been for the past few months and exactly what Dumbledore had put him up to. But her attentions were drawn towards the shady boughs of the Forbidden Forest and the distant flap of wings within.
Circe blinked as the shade of the trees offered her sore eyes respite from the dazzling snow. But she now found herself in darkness, stumbling over roots and through low hanging branches whilst her eyes adjusted to the gloom. She let her ears lead her, letting her draw close to the noise of flapping and Raven-like cawing. When she finally came upon a small clearing, she noticed a small herd of the bat-winged, emaciated creatures milling about in the dappled light that shone through the trees. Some sleeping, piled on top of one another, some trotting about in the clearing, and a fair few gathered around the Headmaster.
"Dumbledore!" Circe called out, a tad surprised.
"Ah Professor Smith, it has been a while."
"Indeed, Headmaster. It seems everybody is struggling to acquire an audience with you these days…" she said, a hint of derision in her voice.
"And how are things in the Staff Room these days?" He asked in a low voice, stroking the long, dark beak of a Thestral trying to muzzle him.
"Tense. Very tense. We don't feel best pleased that we've been abandoned to the wrath of The Ministry."
"Ahh, well I'm afraid things in that department might get worse before they get better…"
"What do you mean, Headmaster" Circe asked, approaching a Thestral with an outstretched hand.
"Ahh, you can see them! I had wondered…"
"But why can I see them? I wasn't around for my mother's death and I can't think-"
"You did not see death in a literal sense. But you did see someone's living essence die…" the Headmaster spoke solemnly.
Circe thought for a moment and the lightbulb moment came.
"Barty Crouch Junior."
"Indeed. I have been campaigning for many years to have the Dementor's Kiss eradicated, but these days I'm hardly in the Minister's good books to make demands like that."
Circe's hand floated up to the necklace around her neck, her hand drifting over the black opal.
"I command those awful things now." Circe muttered, thinking of that bone-chilling, sucking sound the Dementors had made when eeking the life from Barty.
"Yes, Severus informed me of the role Voldemort had bequeathed to you. It might come in useful to us… one day."
"I wish I could be of use to The Order, instead of fanning the flames of Voldemort's rise." Circe stated bitterly.
"My dear, you and Severus may end up being the most important weapons in our arsenal."
"If you say so, Albus…" Circe stated with an eye roll.
Dumbledore looked at her a while, studying her carefully through his spectacles.
"Do you know who's crest that is?" he asked, pointing at her necklace.
"No."
"It's The Riddle's. Voldemort's family."
"Oh Christ… that could have been an awkward moment if Harry had seen me wearing this. I normally keep it tucked under my shirt at our…" Circe trailed off, realising she'd been about to spill the beans on the DA's meetings. Dumbledore regarded her with a mixed look of surprise and amusement. She had assumed that Dumbledore had endorsed the secret gatherings, but it became apparent in that moment that the Headmaster had no idea what the students were up to.
"Well fuck.." Circe cursed. She should have realised Dumbledore had not sanctioned a group of underage teenagers to learn how to fight. At the DA meetings, Circe was the only Professor who came to the Room of Requirement.
"You see, Professor. You are quite useful after all." Dumbledore stated with a twinkle in his eye. "Those scamps! I'd thought they were up to something. No smoke without fire, as the saying goes and I could see someone had Dolores's knickers in a twist!"
"Don't shut it down, please Headmaster!" Circe pleaded desperately. "They need to know how to protect themselves! It's only fair that we teach them how to do that!"
"You are right, Circe." Dumbledore nodded.
"What?" she asked, a little shocked that Albus had reacted so calmly. "You aren't going to put a stop to the meetings?"
"No, Professor. Harry is young. But youth will not spare him from the trials and tribulations of what is to come. And I would rather he learn how to fight and protect himself from you rather than at the hands of a Death Eater."
"But, my cover-"
"I'm sure we will think of something when the time of discovery comes. Perhaps keep it from Severus for the time being though…"
Circ snorted. The Headmaster clearly didn't know how hard she had worked already to keep it from Severus. Yet she understood well enough the sentiment of Albus's tone. Severus would probably be fuming when he did eventually find out she'd been aiding the DA. Still, she was in too deep to back out now...
"So, Headmaster. Why can you see the Thestrals?" Circe asked curiously. "I thought Gellert Grindelwald was imprisoned after The Global Wizarding War, not killed."
"Ahh, sadly my brush with death happened a fair few years before that." the Headmaster stated, a sad and faraway glint in his eye.
"Well, do I have to spike your goblet with veritaserum or are you going to tell me?" Circe said half-jokingly.
"So all your snooping down at The Hog's Head and you haven't even met my dear old brother then?" Dumbledore chuckled back at her.
Circe coloured red a little. "How do you know I… Nevermind."
A thunderous noise emanated from the trees surrounding Circe and Dumbledore. She moved closer to the Headmaster, her wide eyes scanning the thick branches as the noise drew nearer. It was like the many poundings of a bass-drum and it grew so loud that Circe could feel it in her chest.
"What the bloody hell is that?!" she asked, her eyes trying to follow where the noise was coming from. It swooped around them in a big arc, a raucous mix of thudding and stern shouts. Through the trees Circe could just about see a tantalising glimpse of a swishing ponytail or the silhouette of a well-muscled man's torso. A strange thought entered her head as she was suddenly reminded of the noise at The Grand National...
"The Centaurs." replied Dumbledore. "They have been growing very restless of late. I actually came down here to see if that Lovegood girl was still in the habit of coming into the forest to feed the Thestrals… and then to inform her that she needs to stay away. I'm afraid the Centaurs have grown rather protective of their borders recently. They probably marched around us to make a show of things. Make us aware that they're watching us."
"What are they worried about?"
"The War. Their star-charts tell of the coming tempest and they wish to protect their own. I can't say I really blame them."
"No. Nor I." Circe replied somberly, relaxing a little as the noise of the Centaur herd drifted back into the darkness of the forest.
Circe cleared her throat and turned back to the Headmaster. Her mind went blank as she struggled to remember what they had been talking about before the arrival of the Centaurs.
The Hog's Head. I remember talking about that...
"So Aberforth is your brother then?"
"Indeed."
"And the… goat thing I've heard about?" Circe asked bravely.
Dumbledore turned to her with a look of mild outrage in his eye. But once he saw the curious smirk on Circe's face, he sighed.
Well, if it gets her off the path towards asking about Ariana… he thought to himself.
"Aberforth was prosecuted for practising inappropriate charms on a goat. It was all over the papers, but did Aberforth hide? No, he did not! He held his head high and went about his business as usual! Of course, I'm not entirely sure he can read, so that may not have been bravery…"
Circe spluttered out a laugh and turned to leave. "Yes, that was just what I needed. That story's cheered me right up."
"Oh , Professor. Before you go!" Dumbledore called out to her, reaching into one of his many pockets. He drew out a small vial of something of shimmering red and tossed it to Circe. She caught it in her good hand and looked at it cautiously. "Try applying a little of that to your arm, once at sun-up and again at sun-down. I had a small amount left after I gave dear Hagrid some after his rather rough parlay with the Giants..."
"Giants?! That's where Hagrid's been?". Circe held up the vial into the light, swirling it around and watching the almost glittery flecks of gold spinning within. "It looks like… blood."
"Dragon's blood. One of the twelve uses of the substance, which I discovered in my extensive research on it, is that it can be a rather effective healing draft. Especially good for arthritis I've found…"
"You think it'll help with my-"
"With your finger movement, possibly." Dumbledore stated. "The scar less so, but I don't suppose you mind too much about that. Considering what it replaced on your wrist."
Circe shivered as she felt a tangible prickling on her skin in the very spot where her Dark Mark once was. Now her scar was healing, she could make out the very edges of the tattoo in the mottled and bubbled skin around the wound, but only somebody who knew what was there beforehand would know what it once was.
"Headmaster…" Circe breathed. "Thankyou."
"Ahh, what benefit am I here if I cannot be of use to my own staff, hmm?" Dumbledore stated as he strode to her side. "Now, will you help an old man walk up to the castle? Just for a few more moments of company before I am consumed with my research and work again?"
Circe smiled kindly at him and held her arm out. She empathised with Dumbledore, feeling snowed in and pulled down by the never-ending tasks that being head of The Order must bring. There had been times in the past when she had disagreed with the Headmaster's methods and reasonings, but perhaps he was like her: trying to navigate through this strange and dangerous time the best way he could, not just keeping himself on the right course, but all of the students and people under his care also. She did not envy the heavy burden that sat on his shoulders and the difficult decisions he must have to make each day.
"You? An old man? You're as sprightly as a First Year!" she teased.
"Well, necessity and obligation keeps one young, I find… And this stubborn old goat still has a long list of things to do before I can retire from duty."
"Oh don't say that, Headmaster... "
"Say what?"
""Old-goat"...Otherwise your brother will start giving you funny looks."
Circe tittered and Dumbledore gave her a loud tut as the two of them walked rather amicably back up to the castle, arm in arm.
Sirius was eyeing Circe up from the other side of the kitchen table, but Circe was doing her best to ignore him. She wasn't going to allow that rather difficult situation ruin what had become a breakthrough moment for her. Today was the first time she'd felt brave enough to pick up her guitar and in the spirit of Christmas, she was feeling a tad emboldened. Thanks to Dumbledore's dragon's blood, Circe had noticed a phenomenal change in her hand and finger movement. It was still clumsy, still stiff, still not even close to what it once was, but Circe could now grip her pen and write her name, she could complete Severus's physio exercises without wanting to cry, and she could just about form a few basic chords.
She was giving a few clumsy verses of 'God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs' to the others gathered at Grimmauld Place that first day of the Christmas holidays, and even though she knew her playing was awful and she sounded like a five year old who'd just picked up his first six string, everyone was singing along with her. She finished the song with an out-of-tune strum, but everyone applauded her nonetheless and she stood up to take a bow.
"Thank you, thank you…" she stated, a broad smile on her face. "But I think I shall call an end to my little concert before my fingers fall off." Circe waggled her hand at Ginny and Tonks, still clapping her from the other end of the table.
Circe had been at Grimmauld Place for a few days on "Potter Watch" as The Order called it. School was out for the Yuletide holidays and Circe was quietly brimming with a feeling of invigoration. The Headmaster had a meeting planned for that afternoon, which had loomed on the horizon, but it was a black speck in an otherwise wonderful holiday season. What did they have to discuss, after all? The Prophecy was still hidden, Lucius and Bellatrix were no closer to finding it and Arthur Weasley had taken his gumming from Nagini like a champ. It was a season of hope and optimism. A time in which the tides of terror were being held at bay. A moment when even Circe was starting to feel that maybe defeating the Dark Lord was not such a Herculean task.
Remus entered the kitchen just as Circe was packing away her instrument, but she was quick to catch the lightning-fast glance he shot to Tonks before doing his best to avoid Sirius's watchful gaze. Every tiny movement and look Remus made around Tonks was watched by Sirius and his canine eyes. Her heart ached for Sirius a little, knowing that he was having to watch his old friend and lover fall for someone else before his eyes. But Remus's feelings were becoming increasingly difficult for him to hide… especially when he turned up to meetings with big blue and red welts on his neck or Tonks's lipstick smeared all over his face when they'd been out on a mission together. Circe had, of course, tried to corner Tonks and demanded all of the juicy gossip from her but when she had attempted to barge in to her room at Grimmauld Place for a late-night chocolate gorge and a chin wag, she'd inadvertently walked in on her and Lupin having a cheeky fumble in a recently cleared-out, de-boggarted wardrobe...
"It's like he really does feel something for me, Cee…" Tonks had explained to her when they'd gone for an amble around Islington together the next morning. "But he's too scared to admit it with Sirius here."
"That I can imagine…"
"And his…"condition" isn't helping with things much either."
"His "condition"? What does that have anything to do with you and him and Sirius?"
"Exactly! I don't care that he's a werewolf, Cee. But after we've… I don't know, had a steamy snogging session or messed around a bit, he gets all morose and mopey. Calls himself a "monster". Says he's "undeserving of love"."
"Yeah… I've heard him say something like that before." Circe muttered, remembering that night the two of them had gazed up at the stars together from the grassy quad outside the Staff Room.
"Cee, I think I love him." Tonks stated, her hair bristling into an array of reds and pinks.
"Oh Tonks…" Circe sighed.
"And I know Sirius does too."
"Yeah. Yeah he does." Circe said plainly, at a loss for words.
"And it's really not fair for him to be using you as a pawn to get Remus's attentions. Like some stupid little love game. Remus told me he used to do exactly the same with Marlene McKinnon when they were both in school."
Circe winced a little at the mention of the name, but Tonks didn't seem to notice. "Well it's a good thing I don't have any intention of joining in Mister Black's game."
"You mean, you don't even think he's a little bit dishy?" Tonks asked teasingly.
"He's handsome, I'll give him that. Roguish and debonair. I can see why girls liked him. Especially if you're into "older men", like you Miss Flirt." Circe responded, elbowing Tonks in the ribs.
"But what? You're single, aren't you?" Tonks asked. "What's to stop you from having a little no-strings fumble with him? Must be a good while since you've had a good bloke. I thought you and Remus were at it originally, before he told me otherwise. But you could have yourself a nice little Christmas shag with Padfoot himself."
"Tonks, you are shameless." Circe laughed.
"You know when you can just look at someone and tell they give good head?"
"Tonks, stop it!" Circe giggled. "I'm not putting myself anywhere near this stupid love-triangle. It doesn't need to be a love-square!"
But as Tonks shrugged at her and went about her merry walk, Circe wished once again that she could talk with her old friend about her love. Confide with her who she adored like Tonks had just done with Circe. Her Severus. The real reason why she would never even consider getting involved with Sirius and with who her heart truly lay.
And I'm actually rather shagged-out of recent, thank you very much!
Circe had just about had enough longing looks from across dimly lit rooms to last her a lifetime. She clamped her guitar case shut with a roll of her eyes and swung past Molly putting the final dusts of powdered sugar on a chocolate log and she almost tripped over Kreacher as he emerged from out of his cubby hole under the sink.
"Whoa! Careful Kreacher, I almost hit you."
"Nasty half-bloods trapseing all over Mistress's house, going through her possessions, making as much noise as possible."
"Be quiet, Kreacher!" Sirius hollered from across the room. "I will not have you being rude to my guests."
"Apologies, Master Black." Kreacher said a little too sweetly, his leathery pink ears flopping down to the ground as he bowed low.
"Circe, take these upstairs for the children will you?" Molly chimed in quickly, handing Circe a plate full of sliced chocolate Yule log portions. "And there's a slice for you too." She added, smiling warmly.
"I think they're up in the second floor east bedroom." Remus added helpfully.
"Oh, Reg's old room…" grumbled Sirius. "Tell them not to be sentimental for my sake. There's nothing of my dear old brother's that I want, trust me..."
"Are you kidding? That room's probably full of prime embarrassment material! I'm telling them to squirrel away any old baby pictures for future bribery material." Laughed Circe. Yet her laugh was cut short by the return of a wickedly flirtatious, lopsided grin on Sirius's face.
She turned and left before she could see the full look on Sirius's face. She chastised herself again for possibly being too familiar with Sirius, but it was in her nature to make jokes and be friendly. She just hoped Sirius didn't take it as an invitation for more…
She made her way down the entrance hall and the front door opened just as more Order members arrived at Grimmauld Place. The first to enter was Moody, slamming his walking stick on the hardwood floor as he grumbled his greetings to Circe, next followed by a squat and dark haired man who smelt of tobacco smoke and cheap cologne.
"Mundungus , you stay where I can see you." Growled Moody, seizing the man by his jacket sleeve and hauling him before him.
"Alright, Mad-Eye!" Squawked Mundungus, tripping over the troll-foot umbrella stand as he was heaved about. The loud clatter echoed through the halls and soon the portrait above them on the wall, covered with thick curtains, began to shriek.
"Filth! Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness! Half-breeds, mutants, freaks, begone from this place! How dare you befoul the house of my fathers -"
The curtains fell open and the contorted face of a woman screaming bloody murder was revealed. Circe moved to cover her ears but soon realised both of her hands were occupied with guitar and plate in turn. She closed her eyes against the tormentous noise but almost instantly opened them again when she smelt the familiar mix of burnt herbs and sandalwood enter the house. Severus waved his wand with a flourish and the curtains drew back over the portrait, silencing the woman.
"Cheers, Sev. She doesn't know when to shut up, does she. Now what have we got here?" Mundungus said as he adjusted his coat, eyeing up Circe's plate of cake.
"Um… not for you." Circe stated quickly, pulling the plate out of his grasp.
"Well, well, well… who have we got here, then?" He asked, his eyes travelling up to Circe's face.
"Circe. Circe Smith."
"Ahh so you're the new recruit." Mundungus exclaimed. "How are you liking being Dumbledore's cannon fodder?"
Severus cleared his throat and gave the little man a death stare that could make plants wilt.
"Dung! Into the kitchen, now!" Moody shouted down the hallway. "There's no way in hell I'm allowing you to crawl out of another meeting."
"Well you'd know all about "crawling around" wouldn't you, Mad-Eye." Mundungus groaned. "Is there more of that in there?" He asked Circe, pointing at the cake and then to the kitchen.
"I think so."
Mundungus turned and bolted down the hallway as fast as his little legs could carry him. Circe let out a rather relieved sigh and finally turned to
Severus.
"Take a slice, Sev." Circe whispered with a dazzling smile, offering out the plate to him. "I know how much you like Yule log."
"I thought these weren't for us." He asked in his low, rich voice.
"They're for the kids upstairs, but Molly gave me a slice too. You can have mine."
"Are you sure?" Severus asked, eyeing up the chocolate cake hungrily.
"Yes. You look like you've not eaten for a while. Go on, take it."
Severus looked around the deserted corridor and grabbed at the chocolate Yule log, planting a hasty kiss on Circe's cheek as he leant in. Circe suppressed a squeal as she watched Snape consume the slice in three large bites.
"You have a wicked sweet tooth, Sev." She giggled.
"The little you know... it was this bloody stuff that got me into trouble with you." He stated through his mouthful of cake, smiling at the long ago memory of Circe's delivery of puddings during her first Christmas at Hogwarts.
"What are you on about?"
"Nothing. Has everyone arrived?"
"Dumbledore is still to grace us with his presence. And we're still waiting on a few others. Bill, Charlie, Minerva…"
"Ahh, he finally got Minerva on side then did he?"
"She was on Potter Watch with me a few days ago."
"And what about the "soap-opera"? How's that progressing?" Severus asked, referring to the ongoing situation with Tonks, Remus and Sirius. "Any developments I should know about?"
"No. Just more bitter glances and awkward coughing."
"Pity. I do so enjoy a show with my theatre snack." Severus said alluringly as he licked on his chocolate covered fingers.
"Oh stop it!" Circe chuckled, hitting his legs with her guitar case. "Or I'll wake the screaming banshee up again."
Severus blew her a kiss as she ascended up the stairs. Her heart was just about finished fluttering inside her when she came across the bedroom Harry, Hermione and the Weasley boys were routing through. The floor was littered with papers and moth-eaten robes but it looked like the kids had managed to get rid of the nasty ghoul that had been living in here.
"Gryffindors! A treat courtesy of Mrs Weasley." Circe called out to them, placing the plate on the old bed. The children exclaimed with delight, dropping the various nick nacks and items they had been sorting through and each grabbed a slice of cake. Circe looked around the green and silver donned room, trying to imagine a second Black brother inhabiting this room. She walked around the bedroom, casting an eye over the patchwork of newspaper cuttings and headlines that someone had painstakingly plastered onto one of the walls, all about the various deeds and doings of Voldemort during the first wizarding war.
A Death Eater. Regulus was a Death Eater…
Circe stood back from the ominous collage and glanced around again, finding the Black family crest that had been painted above the bedstead, the still moving photograph of a Slytherin Quidditch team placed in a rusting silver frame on the wall, and the odd assortment of items the students had found during their rummaging.
No wonder there doesn't seem to be any love lost between Sirius and his brother. But if he was in Slytherin, Severus must have known Regulus…
"Any clue what these things are, Professor?" Ron asked her suddenly, shaking her from her introspections.
Circe glanced down again at the bed, recognised a few items on sight.
"Well, that's a Morpheus Box. Meant to be able to emit a music-box style tune so sweet and powerfully soporific that the listener will be out cold in five seconds."
"Ahh, that explains why we all felt woozy and weird before Ginny slammed it shut." Harry stated.
"And that tweezery thing is a Spinselum. Very dark item, that. They were used to torture werewolves and other "lesser magical beings" during the great purges of the 1500's. Did it try to… puncture you?"
"Yes." Harry stated plainly.
"Well it's a good thing it didn't. They can slide in their needle-like arms into your muscular pressure points and have you limp and defenseless in moments."
"Well whoever owned all this stuff obviously had a bit of a… strange collecting hobby." Hermione stated a little nervously. "A bit of a morbid fascination with magical items that can be used to incapacitate a person."
"I'm guessing we probably shouldn't try to open this then…" Ron muttered, reaching for a locket that had also been strewn out on the bed.
"Yeah, probably not." Circe said, taking it from Ron's outstretched hand. Despite what she had just told Ron, she couldn't help but curiously tug at the hinged clasp, trying to prize it apart in her hands. But after a moment's fiddling, she looked down at it again warily, taking in the delicate emerald embellishments on its front. She threw it onto the bed with an exasperated sigh, not wishing to tempt fate. It obviously wanted to stay shut for a reason.
There were a few more unremarkable looking items on the bed for Circe to cast an eye over, including an array of beautifully bound books that had come from Regulus's shelves. Reading some of the titles made Circe grimace a little: 'Nature's Nobility: A Wizarding Genealogy', 'Magick Moste Evile', 'The Nightshade Guide to Necromancy', 'Marvolo: The Truth'... Circe picked up a few here and there, holding them up to the light and marvelling at the delicate embossed lettering on each of them. Circe held 'Marvolo: The Truth' in her hands, her eyes followed the wonderfully complex, interlocking patterns that snaked across the covers and down over the spines, wondering how such a beautifully designed book could tell the story of the most awfully fated family in the wizarding world.
"Right, Granger. I'm calling dibs on 'Marvolo'. Do you want any before they're chucked out?" she asked Hermione, gesturing at the pile of books.
"I'll take the others if you're not keen on them, Professor." Hermione answered. "Oh, Ron found this one shoved down the back of the desk. It might be more to your subject specialism." Hermione mumbled as she dived behind Regulus's sturdy oak desk. When her head bobbed back up, she brought a plume of dust with her and she coughed as she bushed it from her hair. Hermione held out a rather worn and less beautifully embellished tome out to her and Circe took it from her swiftly.
"'Icelandic Rune Magic'." she read aloud, her voice a little flat from disappointment.. The title sounded starkly less intriguing than the other books the children had found. "Yeah, I suppose I could have use of this. Cheers, Granger."
"Did I hear you right, Professor? All of Regulus's stuff...Sirius wants us to just-" Asked Harry.
"Throw it away." she added a little glumly.
"No!" A tiny voice screeched from the door.
They all wheeled around together and saw Kreacher standing in the bedroom's threshold with a look of pure hatred contorting his leathery and wrinkled face. "Half-bloods and blood traitors! Tainting Master Regulus's possessions with your filthy little fingers!"
"Oh shut up, you shriveled conker-head!" Shouted George.
"George!" Cried out Hermione. "He doesn't mean it. He's just echoing what his-"
"Mudblood scum infecting the walls of the Noble House of Black. My Mistress would have thrown you out into the street!"
Ron went a little pale and strode towards the house-elf, wand raised. "Don't. You. Dare-"
"No, Ron!" Circe lurched forwards, grabbing the Weasley boy. Fred and Harry were quick to hold him back and luckily the next time Circe looked at the door, Kreacher was gone.
When Ron's temper had dwindled away and he'd shaken off the firm holds of his brothers and Harry, Circe sighed, her eyes inexplicably drawn back to the locket on top of the bed.
"He's been trying to smuggle things away under his little loincloth all day." Fred eventually said.
"Maybe it is for the better that this stuff is thrown away, then." Circe muttered to herself. "It's dark stuff that inspires people to do dark things."
"Put it in the "throwing away" bag then." Hermione instructed, picking up a big black bin bag. Both Harry and Ron did not hesitate to drop each of the items into the binbag as Circe watched solemnly. She turned and left just as Harry picked up the locket and dropped it into the trash unceremoniously, unable to pinpoint exactly why she felt a strange shiver run up her spine...
She set down her guitar case next to the bed she'd been sleeping in, as well as the two books she'd pilfered from Regulus's room. Well, calling it a 'bed' was a bit of a stretch. There was a female room and a male room where members of The Order who were on duty slept together. Circe had set up a few pillows and a blanket on an old sofa whilst Tonks had claimed "dibs" on the camping mattress on the floor. She flexed her aching back, longing for a decent night's sleep in a proper bed, which would hopefully be tonight as her run of duty ended that evening. Severus had sent her an owl that morning informing her that he'd finally managed to place his order with the butchers in Cokeworth for a rather sizeable turkey, having forgotten to inform Circe that she was in fact coming to Spinner's End for Christmas. Her heart soared when she pictured her and Severus's first true Christmas together, alone. As she rose to her feet and began the walk back downstairs, she wondered just how large of a turkey Severus was planning to cook for just the two of them. She hoped Severus would allow her to help out in the kitchen with the Christmas meal, but somehow she knew he'd be cooking and creating his masterpiece bent over the hob like a half-crazed warlock hunched over his bubbling cauldron.
She smiled to herself, but as her eyes traveled up once more to the portrait that hung in the lobby, she found herself thinking of the woman in the picture. She remembered that awful, screaming face that almost seemed to lunge out of the frame as she belted out her torrent of abuse. Circe was glad for the curtains that covered her, but once again she found her hands itching to reach out and touch them. Almost without her wanting to, she raised her hand and slowly extended a curious finger towards the curtains...
"Oh I wouldn't do that if were you,..." Sirius said, his hand suddenly appearing on top of Circe's. "If you want to see what she looks like with your eardrums intact, then come this way…"
Circe followed Sirius compliantly as he led her into a drawing room on the ground floor. With the Black family house being left abandoned for so many years, one learnt fast not to go skulking around its many old and deserted rooms just in case you stumbled upon a ghoul or a banshee or a boggart nesting in a dim and dark corner. She'd had no cause to come into this room before so its contents were a bit of surprise for Circe. Her eyes were instantly drawn to the elaborate tapestry that snaked around all four of its walls. An intricate pattern of branches and vines, depicting the genealogy of the Black family, that bloomed into a great variety of heads. Circe approached one wall and touched a hand to a faded, medieval-looking face, reading the names of the long-dead Black ancestors to herself.
"This family tree goes back almost two thousand years." Sirius told her. "And every time a new member of the House is born, the tapestry is enchanted to update. Look here, there might be a few names you recognise."
Circe wandered over to Sirius's side and looked to where he pointed. "Tonks!" she exclaimed with a laugh. The face that should have stared back at her from the wall was scorched out, much like her mother and father, Andromeda and Ted. "Why is she-"
"My mother had a nasty habit of doing that to the "blood traitors" in the family. Anybody who married outside of a pureblood wizarding family, and their children too…"
"Oh…"
"But there's another one you'll know." Sirius said, gesturing to the portrait of a young-looking boy with pale blonde hair.
"Draco." Circe touched a hand to the portrait of her student, letting her eyes lead her back through the vines and branches to his mother, his great grandmother, his aunts and uncles, on and on it went.
"Ahh, I see you got similar treatment to The Tonks's." Circe said finally, her hand coming to rest on top of another scorched portrait, hovering over the name of "Sirius Orion Black".
"Ahh, I never much cared for my likeness on this tapestry anyway." He said with a half-joking wave of his hand. "Never quite captured the roguish twinkle in my eye."
Circe scoffed, but laughed nonetheless at Sirius's bold humour.
She fell silent again, watching as an unknowable look passed over Black's face that made her almost blush. Circe had to concede that Sirius was rather captivating in his own way. He was forceful and strong-willed. Even a good decade in prison had not dampened his almost boyish confidence. And he knew he had a certain incorrigible charm; he'd been actively cultivating it for years, especially on women. He leaned as daringly and confidently against his family tapestry as he could muster, his arm raised high over his head, leaning in close to Circe. Despite his outward appearance of respectability and good-breeding, beneath it all Circe clocked that his cologne was old and musky and his green plush velvet suit was moth eaten. It had probably been waiting in a wardrobe upstairs for him for the past 13 years or so whilst he'd languished in Azkaban. Old wizarding families were all like this, in her experience, beautiful, historied, authoritative, but faded, struggling, outdated. Even if Sirius claimed to buck the trend of the Black families muggle-born prejudices, he still clung on to a past that was no longer there.
She cleared her throat awkwardly and slid a few modest inches away from his open posture. Of course Sirius was attractive, she mused, but that kind of attractive that she was damn sure that he knew it too. She didn't dislike him, but Circe had known quite a few boys that reminded her of him that she hadn't exactly liked either… Boys that thought they were entitled to this, or that was a given. He was the complete inverse of Severus. She was just about to question whether she was being unduly unfair to Sirius when he leaned in close and began whispering in his best hoarse emotional voice.
"You see her?" He pointed at a face on the tapestry in the space between them.
"Walburga Black."
"My mother. The woman in the portrait" He offered. "She threw me out on the streets when I was just eighteen."
"Oh, I'm sorry…" she offered weakly. Sirius had used this line before to garner sympathy. But rather earnestly, he found that he wanted Circe to know more about him. And quite novel, he wanted to know about her more too.
Must be 'caus I'm getting old , Sirius mused. She wasn't "pretty", because pretty was for girls, and Circe wasn't a girl. She was a sight for sore eyes, as James would say. Food for a man's soul. The corner of his mouth twitched into a crooked smile as he beheld her. Tall, almost taller than he, with those stunning emerald eyes and caramel laced hair. She was quite a few years his junior, of course, but it had been some time since Sirius had indulged in his favorite game and he felt like flexing his muscles. If Remus could do it, after all...
"What about you?" He asked, changing tact. ""Smith" doesn't offer much in terms of a family history."
Circe was slightly taken aback. Surely he'd bought her into the Black tapestry room to talk about himself and big himself up for her. It was in his nature to show off.
"Uhh… well my Mum was the witch in the family but she died when I was ten and my Dad's a muggle. He didn't really "get" much of the wizard stuff. So I guess that's why I went to a muggle university when he asked me to, when I was done with Hogwarts obviously."
"You went to a muggle school?" He pressed.
"I specialised in the History of the Occult and Magic in Medieval Europe." Sirius raised an eyebrow, trying to look as interested as possible and draw more conversation out of her. "It wasn't hard for me to keep up my Ancient Magic and Runic studies during my degree. Quite a lot of overlap in the subjects, you see.."
"So you're a woman of two worlds." Sirius commented with a wry smile on his face.
Circe laughed dryly, trying hard to not scoff.
"When I used to go round James and Lily's, before they died of course,... there was this one time when I'd just missed Lily's sister… can't remember her name now. And she was going to a University. I remember she'd left a prospectus on their coffee table for the place she was off to study at."
"Did anything catch your eye?"
"Not really, it all sounded frightfully dull to me. Economics, Geology, Muggle Law…" he curled his lip into something akin to a sneer. Circe widened her eyes in indignation, but decided to say nothing. Sirius noted that he'd said something off and changed tact again "Apart from… oh what was it called…Phil-Pholosophy?"
"Ha!" Circe laughed "You know, I think I could see you as a Philosophy student." Circe replied. Oh yes, most of the Philosophy students she'd met had also been litigious and aloof. Lots of beanies and vinyl-collectors she recalled...
Sirius took her new found interest as a thread to pull on, "I remember the prospectus said "Do you like arguing?" And I thought, you know, I do!"
Severus had wandered purposefully up the Black house hallway, searching for Circe. Most of The Order were now present and the meeting was due to start any moment now. He tried to ignore the pit in his stomach as he had noticed Sirius was oddly missing from the roll call too. He heard Circe laugh at Sirius's latest quip in a largely empty room off the main corridor. He drew quietly towards her voice and with a sinking feeling in his gut, he also recognised Sirius's voice in conversation with her.
"It also recommended some muggle philosophers to read up on and I asked Lily once to go to a muggle bookshop to get one. Almost got a beating when my mother found that book under my pillow…"
"Who was it?"
"Jeremy Bentham."
"Bentham… remind me. What thought did he prescribe to?"
"Hedonism." He surmised with a wicked grin on his face. "With a particular moral fondness for the… duration of the pleasure being inflicted. The longer the better."
Oh God, he's flirting with me again. Circe thought. For a second she was stunned into silence. Sirius reached a hand up to her hair and gently twisted a section in his fingers.
"Listen, Sirius…" she said, trying to tug her hair free from him.
"And I do try to follow that principle with the most special of people that I meet." He interrupted, purring like a cat. Yet he had a wolfish look to his eyes. "People like yourself…"
Severus felt sick to his core, but he was rooted to the spot in stunned submission as he helplessly listened.
Sirius ran his hand down Circe's neck and over the round curve of her breasts. Circe was quick to push him away from her.
"Sirius, stop." She said forcefully. Pulling back sharply. "You should know that me and-" Her back hit the wall at the end of the room and she found herself backed into a corner, with Sirius pressing relentlessly in on her.
"I'm sure you and I could explore just how long I could inflict that pleasure on you." He continued, unperturbed by her discomfort.
The red mist of rage descended over Severus. He found himself shaken out of his helplessness and barreling into the room before he even realized he'd done it. His hands were on Sirius's shoulders, hurling him away from Circe with a fierce strength that did not abide.
"You stay away from her!" He roared, picking up Sirius by the scruff of his neck, throwing him bodily into the tapestry wall with a thick thud.
"Snivellus, fuck off! The adults are busy." Sirius replied, cruelly.
The red mist grew almost bright crimson at the mention of his school-time nickname and he started on Sirius with a new-found hatred. Sirius was quick to match him in blows and quickly landed a hard hit to Severus's face which sent him stumbling back.
"Severus! Sirius! Stop it!" Circe shouted, putting herself bodily between them. Both calmed down a fraction at her presence between them. She turned to Snape, and tentatively touched a hand to the red swollen mark deepening on his cheek.
"My my… this is just like school isn't it Snivellus." Sirius taunted. "Still letting girls get you out of proper fights, just like Lily used to."
Oh no… Circe thought in the beat of furious silence that passed. She tried to grab hold of Severus's arm, but it was too late.
"Don't you dare bring Lily into this!" He roared, pushing past Circe and pinning Sirius to the wall with brute force.
"Oh, are you pointlessly creeping over this girl too, like you used to with Lily?" Sirius asked through short suffocated breaths. Circe realized with dread that Severus was trying to choke him.
"Severus, please!" she pleaded again, tugging at his back. She began crying.
Severus was shaken out of his rageful anger by her tears and let Sirius fall to the floor.
No sooner had Circe led him away from the fight, holding his face dearly in her hands, that the other Order members were at the door seeking the cause of the commotion they had overheard.
"What the bloody hell is happening in here?!" Remus asked in shocked surprise.
Circe held Severus's swollen and bloodied face still in her hands. She tried in vain to stop crying but the tears would not subside. Severus placed a hand on hers and pressed his forehead softly to her as if to say It's alright, I'm alright. It's over now. Sirius wordlessly gawped at the obvious affection now present between Snape and Circe. For a while no one said anything.
Sirius scoffed, almost in disbelief.
"It seems I unknowingly tried to muscle in on Snivellus's girlfriend."
The other Order members looked wordlessly back to Severus and Circe. The only one of them that did not look shocked beyond belief was Remus.
Circe wiped her face and found her voice. "We… we didn't want anyone to know because…"
"Because it's none of your business." Snape cut in.
"Because…" Circe continued, stamping on his foot. " … we didn't want the student body knowing. Or for the news to get back to the wrong people and compromise Severus's cover. And mine too." For a good while longer no one said anything. Molly looked like her jaw was about to detach from her skull.
"Y-you're both spying on Voldemort?" Tonks asked, her face ashen white. "Oh Christ, Cee. Why didn't you say anything? I really put my foot in it when I was talking about S-"
"Yes Tonks, Voldemort thinks we're both on his side." Circe interrupted her quickly. She didn't want anyone, especially Severus, hearing about the conversation her and Tonks had had about Sirius during their walk in Islington. "And, well, one of the reasons we tried to keep Severus and I a secret was to make Voldemort feel like he knew something that The Order didn't. Make him feel like he had the upper hand… So much for that now." Circe explained with a sigh.
Sirius looked at the floor awkwardly and cleared his throat.
"Then I guess I owe you an apology, my good man." He said, extending a hand out to Snape.
Snape looked at it as if it were dirt.
"It is not me you should apologise to." He replied, through clenched teeth. "I heard Circe ask you to stop. And you didn't."
"How long were you listening to us, you creep?" Sirius retorted. Snape moved to begin the fight again, but Circe was in front of him before it could resume.
"Whoa whoa whoa…" she cooed. "Severus, it's alright."
"No it's not alright!" Snape's voice rose again. "What would he have done if I wasn't there?" He pointed an accusatory finger at Sirius.
"Circe, is that true?" Remus asked gently, looking at her and then to Sirius.
Before she could answer, Sirius did. "It is true. Sniv- Severus is right. I was unfathomably rude to the lady. I thought… well it doesn't matter what I thought. Clearly I was wrong, and for that I deeply apologise to you, Circe." He bowed to her, hand on his heart. "Please accept my grossly inadequate apology. And as recompense please know that Grimmauld Place will always be a safe haven for you should you ever need it. My home is yours."
Circe nodded wordlessly, her throat too tight with emotion to respond properly. Sirius was flushed deep red and she wondered how many times he had ever apologise in his life. But still, he did it with flair and performance, in true Sirius style.
"I'm sorry that you all had to find out this way." Circe began, "But please, this must stay secret. To make Voldemort believe he still knows something The Order doesn't… Molly, you can't tell Ron or Ginny or…"
"If you think that's best, dear." Molly replied, also finally shaken out of her stunned silence.
"And Sirius…."
Sirius looked up from his boots, their eyes meeting once again as embarrassment flared in the pit of Circe's stomach. Severus noticeably tensed up, still beneath her protective hand.
"...Nothing to Harry either."
"Not a word. I swear."
"Thank you."
"Well, now we're all gathered, can we please resume today's important business?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes, to the kitchen everyone." Molly pushed through the gathered crowd and decidedly took Circe by the arm, drawing Severus and her apart. She wordlessly handed Circe a hankie and patted her shoulder comfortingly. As the Order members shuffled out of the living room, Minerva caught Severus's eye from over the rim of her spectacles. She had been relatively quiet and unnoticeable during the commotion, but she had stepped forwards to make her presence known to Snape in particular. Severus thought she was about to tut or sigh exasperatedly in the way she was known to do, but instead Mcgonagall simply raised a simple thumbs-up to him and smirked like a schoolgirl, before turning and leaving like the rest of The Order. Severus's mouth twitched with the hint of a smile but his amusement at Minerva's congratulatory gesture quickly faded as he felt Sirius's gaze boring into the back of his head. Severus and Sirius resumed exchanging their death glances at one another, with Remus caught in the middle.
Sirius broke the eye contact and strode over to Remus, turning his back to Snape.
"You knew." he said in a hushed tone to Remus. It was not a question. More an accusation.
Remus looked back to Severus, still visibly shaking from the adrenaline high in his veins. The two said nothing, merely stared at one another. A silent moment of fraternity passed between them.
"I suspected." Remus replied to Sirius.
"And you didn't bloody say anything to me?!"
Remus sighed heavily. "Sirius, my friend, would it have made any difference if I had?"
Sirius bristled at Remus' response, but ultimately had no reply.
"Severus," Remus continued, " you've always had a wicked temper. That's no surprise to either of us here. But let's not forget we're all on the same side here…"
"This time." Sirius butt in.
Severus opened his mouth to argue, but thought better of it and said nothing.
"And Sirius, I do rather think we're all too old to still be hurling around playground insults."
Sirius straightened his back, reeling at being checked by his friend. So much for Marauders sticking up for one another till the end…. He raged inside his own mind. He gazed at Remus imploringly, begging him to realise that this sorry mess had been caused partly as a means of getting him back. His brash actions with Circe had been his way of getting Remus's attention, of stopping him from losing Remus. But Remus kept his eyes coldly on the floor
"Now come…" Remus finished, stepping aside "There's much we have to discuss."
He turned to head back down to Grimmauld Place's kitchen. Sirius followed at his back.
"Well well well… first Remus shacked up with that Tonks girl and now the greaseball himself has pulled a stunner." Sirius whispered to Snape when Remus was just out of earshot.
Snape balled his fists again. It was like an arrow to the chest to hear Black talking about her like that.
The game of the chase… the game I was once the best at… and now I'm losing it to Snivellus! Sirius scoffed, and went marching towards the Kitchen.