It was an odd feeling, she determined, to be watching your body while people grieved around you. Not feeling the touch of their hands, or the kiss of Jay's lips on her skin, she couldn't smell Jay's cologne or the faint smell of his body wash on his skin. And where was James? Why wasn't he here. Then again she didn't want him to see her like this. He'd have so many questions, his brilliant little mind always so curious. Jay was tucked up on the bed, arms around her waist and his head resting on her chest as tears quietly slipped from his eyes.

They were laying in the bed of Jay's pick up, surrounded by mounds of pillows and blankets. It was a warm summer night in Chicago and there was some meteor or shooting star thing happening, she couldn't remember. Jay had dragged her out in the middle of the night, woken her up out of a dead sleep, and dragged her out. She was propped up against the cab with Jay laying with his chest on her and his arms around her.

"Hey, no sleeping!" Jay scolded.

Olivia's eyes snapped open.

"It's like 3:30 am, when is…whatever is supposed to happen, well happening?"

"Any time now."

"I'm so sleepy Jay."

"We're making this a tradition."

"What? Why?"

"From here on out, at least once a year we do this."

Olivia raised an eyebrow.

"Lay in the back of your truck together? I'm sure that would go over so well with whoever is in our life at that time. 'Oh yea I'm gonna go lay in the back of Jay's truck with him and look at the stars'. Jay, come on,s that'll never fly."

"We'll do it with everyone then, our future spouses, kids…everyone."

"What's got you all sentimental Halstead?"

Jay's arms tightened around her.

"There's gonna be a day when we'll never have this, and today I realized that."

Olivia carded her hands through his hair.

"You'll always have me. No matter who comes into my life, no matter how many kids I have. You hear me, you're stuck with-' she suddenly gasped, 'Jay! Did you see it! Look it's starting! Hurry make wishes!"

Jay chuckled.

"These are meteors not shooting stars." He laughed.

"Oh fuck off would you.' She smirked, 'just make a wish anyway."

Jay smirked and snuggled deeper into her.

"Ive got all I need right here."

Olivia looked up at the sky with wonder. In all her life she'd never seen anything so incredible. It was amazing what the universe was capable sometimes. Suddenly she became sentimental herself. What if one day she did meet someone who wasn't so comfortable with her relationship with Jay. Jay was everything to her, and she couldn't imagine someone else every taking that place. For Christ sake, Jay knew by looking at her how to make her coffee. He knew if it was a black cold brew, an iced coffee with a salted Carmel foam or regular sweet foam, he knew by the sound of her feet walking down the steps in the morning if he should pour it black or put creamer in it.

Jay also knew when to be there for her when she was having a tough day even when she didn't tell him. He'd be waiting for her outside the salon or at her house. He'd have all her favorite snack foods ready, and even sorted her M&M's because he knew the blue and brown ones were her favorite (even though they all tasted the same), he knew to be there without out saying anything and making it all better.

Her heart clenched thinking about how one day, Jay would be doing all those things for someone who wasn't her. She'd be alone, with no one to protect her from the thunder, to squish all the spiders in her house, or to make her smile.

Jay's heart was shattered. He should've never taken that undercover job. If he hadnt, they wouldn't be here. Hank had come by earlier, he explained how the team arrested Erika for narcotics and weapons charges. Hank also dropped the heavy weight that Erika would be charged with homicide or assault, pending Jay's decision with Olivia. Jay didn't want to make this decision.

"I was thinking, and I don't know if you can hear me but the doctors say you possibly can, but I was thinking, its like we ran out of time. We wasted so much time never admitting we really loved each other, and then when we did, we barely had enough time together. I failed you, baby, and I'm sorry."

A knock on the door and Will entered.

"Jay? The nuerologist and brain specialist are here to go over some things."

Jay wiped his face and went to sit in a chair.

"Mr. Halstead, your wife's condition… I'll be blunt with you, the chances are slim. While we've done surgery to reduce the swelling and there is progress, there should be more than what's being shown."

"Even with the severity of her injuries, if she's doing well, that's progress." Will said to the doctor.

"Even so, Dr. Halstead, we cant be anymore optimistic. I'm sorry but we've done all we can."

A broken sob ripped through Jay. Will led the doctors out and then sat next to his brother, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Jay, I'm so sorry."

"I can't…I can't let her go." Jay sobbed.

"I know, I know,' Will soothed, 'Why don't you go home, shower, rest, and come up here with James."

"I don't want him to remember her like this."

"He needs to say goodbye to his mother."

"I'm not leaving her alone."

"I'll stay, it's alright, I wont leave her."

Reluctantly, Jay left. He entered his home and had to fight the urge to destroy everything in his sight. James came running to him and hugged his legs.

"Hi Daddy."

Jay bent to scoop him up, and walked over to this couch.

"Buddy, mommy's really really sick-"

"You found Mommy! Can I sees her?!"

Jay held the little boys hands.

"Mommy doesn't look like herself and it is a little scary. I'm gonna take you to see her, and to okay to be scared, I was when I first saw her. But you can talk to her, tell her how much you love her and tell her stories."

"Like bed time stories?"

"Kinda, mommy's napping but she'll hear you."

"Does mommy get to come home with us?"

A tear fell from Jay's eye.

"Uh, no buddy. Mommy's not coming home."

Jay could see the confusion in James' feature change to understanding.

"Mommy's never coming home?"

"No…probably not."

James' little bottom lip trembled.

"What are we gonna do daddy?"

"I'm gonna take you to spend some time with mommy and then Uncle Mouse will bring you home."

"I wanna stay with you."

Jay sighed.

"We'll see, okay, we'll see."

—

When Jay arrived at the hospital, with Mouse in toe, Will was still sitting at Olivia's bedside. Jay went right into the room, and James stood in the hallway, one arm rapped around moused hand, holding his police bear, and the other hand his thumb in his mouth. Something he did when he was scared or nervous.

"Uncle mousy, I'm scared."

"I know, me too."

Jay came over and crouched down in front of James.

"Are you ready bud?"

James shrugged his little shoulders.

"If not, Uncle Mouse can take you home."

"Will you carry me Daddy?"

Jay smiled.

"Of course, come here."

Jay hoisted James onto his hip and walked over to the bed. James peered up from the crook of Jay's neck and gasped. Jay was about to turn and shield him away when James wiggled to be put on the bed.

"Mommy's all beated up!"

"Um-"

"But she's still the beautifulist!"

"Yeah,' Jay smiled, 'Yeah she is."