AN: Here it is, our next Akatsuki member: Kisame Hoshigaki. Yes, I know Kisame came later in canon, do I care? Nah. If you haven't noticed, not even the canon can get the recruitment of the Akatsuki straight with Hidan being a perfect example. Anyway, warning but as I've hinted before and with other characters, Kisame is going to be out-of-character for the purpose of this fanfiction. Nothing too massive, he's still going to be the loveable, bloodthirsty monster we all know and love, just with a few extra headcanons.
Cat Beats: I didn't know who the Almighty Loaf was until I googled it and damnit, now I see it too! I was going for the fetus from P.T. Why have you done this to me? Lol. Oh yes, I am jazzed for Kisame. I'm going to have a lot of fun with him and interactions with the other Akatsuki members.
magmo22: Maybe, maybe not. I say that because as of now, I genuinely do not know. I haven't gotten that far out planning but if I can, I'll make sure Kakuzu and Yui have a reunion, I promise you that! As for Yui believing Zetsu, I've got ideas for that, but later on. For the symbol, it was just the symbol for the Ōtsutsuki Clan. And Ryu, yikes. That's all I say about him. Yes! Kakuzu did reference The Thing being the movie that Zetsu walked in on but the movie which traumatized her and led to her phobia of rabbits, as referenced before, was Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Just look up the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog on Youtube and you'll get an idea on why she's so terrified of them, haha. Onto Kisame, his arc and character development in general was brilliant but his relationship with the Akatsuki was so fucking confusing to me, especially because of Obito, fucking Obito. Like, he revealed himself and his plans to Kisame after he killed Fuguki Suikazan then just fucked off like? Why didn't he offer Kisame to join the Akatsuki then? It just makes no sense to me that's nothing new with Obito, ugh. Anyway, I wanted to Kisame to be part of the Akatsuki early on because I always felt like he had a lot of respect in the organization for a person who wasn't a member as long as the likes of Kakuzu or even Itachi. Also, I thought he and Jūzō would have great interactions, both being Swordsmen -hint hint nudge nudge-. As for other member's recruitments, I can say the only member whose recruitment will be the same as canon is going to be Deidara, just because I feel like doing anything else would do a huge disrespect to his character, especially when establishing his hatred of Itachi. And finally, for your last question…you'll just have to read this chapter because it answers it. Thank you again for the HUGE review and your HUGE support!
p.s. no beta, too lazy to edit. Please excuse any jank.
Warning(s): Genderbend (Low), Language (Med), Blood/Gore (High), Out of Character
…
Wasteland
The Akatsuki Arc
Chapter 55
FIVE YEARS LATER
"Firstly, I'd like to thank you all for being here," Pein said to the Akatsuki, all the members of which were present for this briefing, a rare event, only done once before. "As you are well aware, I typically send only one partnership on a mission but due to this latest target's notoriety, I am sending all of you in."
"Must be a bloody scary bloke then," Sasori interrupted with Orochimaru huffing her pipe and nodding from where she was seated in the chair beside her partner, feet kicked up on Pein's desk, once again but at this point, the ginger was so used to it he wasn't even mad. Obviously, Kakuzu hadn't approved the purchase of that dummy desk even if it was a write-off as a "work expense".
"That he is," Pein confirmed, pushing forth the file over his desk which Zetsu was the one to pick up with Kakuzu leant over her as he too observed the case with her. "His name is Hoshigaki Kisame."
"Hoshigaki?" Orochimaru parroted, the last name striking a distant bell with her as she drummed the mouthpiece of her pipe to her purple lips whilst deep in thought. "Hoshigaki, Hoshigaki…oh yes, now I remember. He's a member of the ningyo up in the Wetlands, isn't he? I remember Hoshigaki being one of their clan names."
"Ningyo?" Zetsu asked unconsciously, looking over the Bingo Book mugshot included of a bizarrely blue man with shark-like features.
"Mermaids." Sasori monotoned, earning an immediate gasp of horror from Orochimaru.
"Sasori! Calling a ningyo a mermaid is considered a highly derogatory term! It's like calling my ilk a…a wyrm!"
"Ain'tcha?" Orochimaru gasped again at her partner's flagrant racism and punched her hand onto Hiruko's back with a dull thud with Sasori instinctively yelping out despite being safety inside said puppet. "Ow, woman!"
"So, what makes this bastard such a threat that it'll take all the Akatsuki to bag him?" Kakuzu questioned, leaning heavily onto the back of Zetsu's chair as she thumbed through the pages haphazardly in search of such information.
After a little searching, she found the man's criminal record which a laundry list of charges and cleared her throat so she may read them off. "Terrorism and treason against Kirigakure, conspiracy, one-hundred and forty charges of First-Degree Murder, the assassination of a daimyo, the First-Degree of Murder of Suikazan Fuguki, Theft of Government Property, and the list goes on. That's just the interesting ones." She turned back the pages she had glanced over. "He was one of Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist?"
"Oh yes, now I know who he is once you mentioned Suikazan Fuguki. Fugaki was leaking Kiri intelligence and was assassinated by one of his own men. That must've been this Kisame fellow. Last I heard, the Fourth Mizukage praised him for such a killing. Fugaki was a member of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist so Mr. Hoshigaki must've taken his place." Orochimaru explained.
Zetsu looked to her curiously while handed off the file to Kakuzu so he may have a look for himself. "If the Fourth Mizukage honoured him for taking out a traitor, why he now be charging Kisame for his murder?"
"Likely just throwin' shit at the wall an' seein' wut sticks. Er jus' spite." Sasori said with an acquiesced shrug from Orochimaru.
"So how much is Kiri paying up for him?" Kakuzu inquired, pawning off the folder next to Orochimaru so she may have her turn reading it over with Sasori.
"50 million ryō, dead or alive," Pein said, much to Kakuzu's displeasure as he immediately muttered, "that's fucking it?" before the ginger was finished. "However, the bounty isn't so much for him, as it is for the sword he stole when he fled Kiri, the Samehada. For it, Kiri is offering 200 million ryō. Kisame's bounty is just a bonus, as they put it."
"I reckon they put it like that because they know he isn't going to give it up without a fight?" Orochimaru mused, using the file to fan herself.
"Correct. However, we aren't going after Hoshigaki Kisame for the bounties."
"Then wut the 'ell we talkin' 'bout then?" Sasori questioned, incredulously.
"I want to make him a member of the Akatsuki," Pein finally imparted, much to the dubious looks from the other members then to each other and then whispering. "His background experience and the fact he was part of Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist makes him a skilled shinobi that would be invaluable to the Akatsuki."
"Oh Yahiko, you don't think the lot of us is enough for the Akatsuki?" Orochimaru asked, ushering at herself and the three other members present. Pein didn't even flinch upon use of his "real" name. Again, another thing he had gotten used to with her during her membership with the organization and thankfully, no others dared refer him to such also.
"I do, Orochimaru. You four are the pillars of the Akatsuki. However, I see no harm in gathering new members for the organization. There is strength in numbers."
"An' wut is 'e don't wanna be a member of our lil' club?" Sasori asked the obvious.
"Then you incapacitate him, dead or alive, so he may be taken to Kiri with Samehada, and we can collect on the bounties." Pein said to much whispering again but the overall consensus was it made sense to them. "But if he does agree to be a member, I think him a perfect partner for you, Kakuzu."
"I'm fine staying with Zetsu," Kakuzu counterclaimed, planting his hands on the green-haired woman's shoulders as he said this and patting her.
"Yes, you may be fine with being partnered with Zetsu, Kakuzu. But I am not. My intention for Zetsu since the beginning was she would be functioning by herself due to her Mayfly and she cannot do that when she is babysitting you," Upon mention of "babysitting", Kakuzu glared at his superior while Zetsu glanced up at her guardian while shaking her head to communicate the fact she did not share the controversial opinion. "But if he does not agree to be a member, then that does not mean I'll quit my search of finding you a new partner, one whom you cannot kill."
"Good fuckin' luck wit' that," Sasori obnoxiously cackled. "Bastard would 'afta be immortal fer that shit." Kakuzu next turned his ire to his heckler, glaring at Orochimaru in the process who wisely backed her chair up to grant better eyesight for her partner as she did not deserve to be between them if they were to kick off.
"So where are Hoshigaki Kisame's last known whereabouts?" Zetsu asked Pein, trying to put this discussion back onto the tracks.
"As of a week ago when this letter was sent to us from Kirigakure, Kisame was still in the Wetlands according to their intelligence."
"But of course, he is. He's a ningyo and they're masters at Suiton so naturally he'd stay in such a wet country where his jutsu are strongest. That, and with this Samehada, he may be a force to be reckoned with," Orochimaru explained, refilling her pipe with tobacco.
"Then let's 'ope 'e agrees to bein' another Akatsuki bitch instead of fightin' us." Sasori drawled, much to Pein's offense for citing the organization's members as such.
"And Kiri knows this which is why they're getting someone else to do their dirty work for them," Kakuzu snorted dismissively, arms folded. "And 'in the Wetlands'? Where? The Land of Water is made of islands, which one is he on?"
"I do not know; they did not say." Pein said, much to Kakuzu's displeasure since he had a hatred for wild goose chases.
"I've got me agents everywhere. I can find the motherfucker." Sasori remarked, though it was more so to humble brag than make Kakuzu feel any better.
"When would you make us to leave? Immediately?" Zetsu was the one to question.
"Yes, immediately. If you have no other questions, then you are dismissed. Would you kindly?" No one else had any questions so after giving it a second, they all got up. Kakuzu and Zetsu were first to the lift, leaving Orochimaru and Sasori waiting for the next due to Hiruko's hulking frame.
…
Ahead of their departure from Amegakure, Sasori signaled one of his spies in the Wetlands to ferret the isles in search for their target. After that, the passage through the Fireland must've been the easier part with Zetsu going ahead to investigate and dispatch any potential threats in their path while Kakuzu, Orochimaru and Sasori trudged behind. Once they made it to the outskirts between the Land of Fire and Land of Water a few days later, the spy Sasori had issued on the case, was waiting for them in the agreed rendezvous spot to personally delivery his progress to the Akatsuki.
"Kabuto, whatcha got, ey?" Sasori interrogated the teenager with silver hair and glasses too large for his narrow face. He was disguised in Kiri armour with headband he had nicked from a dead shinobi.
"Sasori-sama, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto greeted, bowing politely to his superiors then having to push his oversized glasses back up onto his nose as he straightened back up. Kabuto had been a member of ROOT, a subdivision of Konoha's ANBU and after a little snafu with Danzō, the organization's leader, as Orochimaru termed it, she had brought the boy with her into the Akatsuki to function had a spy for the organization.
"Hello, darling, have you found Hoshigaki Kisame?" Orochimaru asked her apprentice.
"Hai, Orochimaru-sama. I've tracked the target to Kirin Island as late this morning," Kabuto explained, pointing southeast off coast but due to the lingering fog that plagued the nation, nothing could be seen past the churning sea.
"Kirin Island? Oh, yes, I've read of that. The island is off-limits due to it being the only population of kirin left in the world. Their blood is a delicacy of the Wetlands so it's privately owned by the Land of Water's daimyo so their blood may be harvested for banquets once a year." Zetsu explained. "It's also fabeled their blood grants immortality."
Sasori looked at her and huffed. "Dag." He scoffed to which she frowned though didn't take too much offense to it since that had to be the least offensive thing he had ever said to her, whatever it meant.
"No, no, I think it interesting, Sasori-kun," Orochimaru chided her partner's dismissal. "If this Kirin Island is off-limits to all, it'd be a perfect place to lay low."
"You'd think a place like that would be swarming with security to prevent that type of thing or for poachers," Kakuzu threw in his two cents.
"'Less they're all dead," Sasori shrugged.
"So how do we get to this Kirin Island? I presume there'd be no transportation to it and a person like Mr. Hoshigaki would need no such thing to get to it." Orochimaru inquired, the latter half of her question answered by Kabuto as he shook his head with a hand securing his frames, so the gesture didn't cause his glasses to go flying off his face.
"There is not. I only caught a glance of a person matching the description of the subject present on island through binoculars when the mist was thinnest. I saw no one else though or any type of transportation except a few boats left docked. If there was security, it may've belonged to them." Kabuto said.
"Ok, better question: 'ow the 'ell do we get on the island without that bastard seein' us comin' an' drownin' us in the fuckin' ocean?"
There was a collective silence as everyone thought this mystery through. Zetsu had nothing due to her Mayfly being unable to phase through water, that she had never been taught how to swim. Meanwhile, Hiruko wasn't exactly aquatic and trying to swim in it would turn it into a watery grave for Sasori. He also did not know how to swim. Orochimaru thought she may be able to navigate to the island, but there was the issue of being observed while in the perfect fuel for Suiton. Finally, it was Kakuzu with the best idea—or an idea, in the least.
"We'll distract him," He said, much to the interest of everyone else. "I'll send Daora ahead and while she distracts him, we'll swim across." As much as Kakuzu hated divorcing himself from his hearts in such a haphazard way, in some situations, it was inevitable.
"'ow the 'ell we 'pose to swim 'cross?" Sasori predictably bellyached because nothing, absolutely nothing was ever good enough for him and everyone knew this.
Kakuzu glared at the ugly puppet. "I don't give a flying fuck how you're getting across, but I know how Zetsu and I are going to." Zetsu looked at him curiously but she got a clue of what he was thinking. Question was: would Amatsu be able to carry both of their weight?
"Oh hush, Sasori-kun, I can get us there as much as I hate how I must do it," Orochimaru told her partner.
"Fine, fine! Just get on wit' it. I 'ate waitin'."
And I hate listening to your bitching. Kakuzu wanted to say, but they had wasted enough time as it was bickering back and forth. So, he summoned Daora who did her routine of stretching herself cat-like then yawning before sitting to attention before her master and chirping, cutely so. He next marshaled Amatsu who begrudgingly woke up, crumpling out of Kakuzu's cloak into a black lump while gurgling before crawling over to join her sister.
"Daora, I want you to fly to an island southeast of here and find a big, ugly blue bastard there. Once you find him, do everything you can to get his attention but do not let him hurt you." Daora puffed out her chest and cooed to express her recognition of her objection before prancing away to do so. She launched herself into the sky and in seconds, was engulfed by the fog, out of sight.
Once she was dispatched, Kakuzu then turned to his other heart and whistled. Amatsu understood this perfectly and proceeded to heave herself off the cliffside, bellyflopping into the sea below. She surfaced a few seconds later and used her spindly arms to grasp the rockface so she didn't float away. With her in place, Kakuzu leapt over, landing on the creature's back and while she bobbed and caused water to wash into his sandals, she didn't sink. He then looked up at Zetsu who was nervously peeking over and clapped his hands before extending his arms out, indicting to her to jump so he could catch her. She hesitated, having a fear of heights but a greater fear of water and didn't want to fall into the tides.
All of a sudden, there was harsh push into her back, causing her to stumble and tumble right over the edge. She screamed out as she fell and hunkered into the fetal position with her eyes shut and face shield as she waited the cold, wet impact with the water. Instead, she hit something solid that uttered a grunt and when she gave a timid look, she discovered Kakuzu had caught her. He set the trembling woman onto her feet, dusting her off and checking her for injury before glaring up the wall. Meanwhile at the top, Sasori was cackling like a hyena, making it obvious who the culprit was.
"Oh Sasori-kun, you're wretched," Orochimaru sassed her partner after checking herself that Zetsu was safely with Kakuzu before sighing and turning to Kabuto who was still present, quietly observing and waiting for his next order. "Kabuto-kun, thank you for everything you've done. You're dismissed. Get yourself elsewhere safe, hmm?"
"Hai, Orochimaru-sama, thank you. I eagerly await my next mission," He bowed to her before bowing to Sasori who just grunted and ushered him off with the spade of his tail.
Once Kabuto evacuated the area as told, Orochimaru and Sasori made their own arrangements to bridge the sea while Kakuzu and Zetsu had already set off on Amatsu as she breaststroked through the tossing water. Zetsu was nauseous caused by intense seasickness and was doing her damndest to swallow down the hot bile crawling up her throat. After a few minutes though, it was impossible, and she leant over the side of the abomination as she upchucked into the water. Kakuzu patted her on the back while she got it all out.
When they made it to Kirin Island, she must've puked up her body weight in bile and the protein shake she had that morning. Amatsu latched into the harbour where a number of forementioned paddleboats were anchored. Kakuzu was off first and plucked up Zetsu after, setting her down but he kept a hand on her as she swayed on her feet due to her sea legs. By the time she felt confident she wasn't going to immediately bumble into the dark depths of the ocean, Orochimaru and Sasori made their appearance. Unfortunately, Orochimaru had to "present" her true self to get across with Sasori clinging to the wriggling extremities on her back who was more unfortunately outside Hiruko as the puppet was too heavy for the snake to carry. After Orochimaru was back to her beautiful self and Sasori was squat back into Hiruko did they rendezvous again for the next part in their plan.
"Well, I'm chuffed to see we all made it in one piece which means Kakuzu's plan played out," Orochimaru said, brushing herself off to check she didn't have any stray snakes left out.
"For better or worse…" Zetsu mumbled, face still as green as her hair and cradling her ill stomach.
"Oh yeah, I'm thrilled to be on an island surrounded by fuckin' water wit' a mermaid!" Sasori muttered, earning a dirty glare from his female partner for use once again of such a racist term.
"Daora is still beating which means she's done a perfect job at distracting this Kisame bastard, or she hadn't managed to find him," Kakuzu explained as Amatsu crawled back under his cloak to go back to napping with her brothers. "Girl, can you find them?"
"I…I cannot…" Zetsu whispered, shaking her head though instantly regretted it left her light-headed due to her prior sickness.
"Whatchu ya mean ya 'cannot'? Wut, yer Kekkei Genkai broke?"
"No, no it's nothing like that it's just…Kisame's chakra signature is massive, like what I imagine a Bijuu. It's bathing the island. I…I cannot pinpoint his exact location because of it."
Orochimaru rubbed her chin in thought. "Hmm, that does make sense. I did read in the information supplied to us by Kiri that one of his monikers was the 'Tailless Tailed Beast'. Such a large chakra signature must be disorienting to a sensor as sensitive as Zetsu," Zetsu nodded to confirm the elder's theory which was why despite no longer being in the water, her nausea had yet to leave.
"What about Daora?" Kakuzu looked to Zetsu. "Can you find her?"
It took her a moment to scrutinize through the chakra interfering with her Mayfly, but she confirmed it so. "Yes, she's on the other side of the island."
"Then track Daora and she'll take us to him."
"Very well," However, as she tried stepping off to phase to do so, Kakuzu caught her arm and pulled her back, earning a bewildered look from the woman at her temporary partner and mentor.
"Perhaps it'd be best we stay together. Afterall, you can't track this bastard, so I don't want you popping up in front of him." That was a very good point. One of which she hadn't thought of as her cheeks powdered pink with a blush as she nodded. "Just take us to Daora and keep an ear out in the meantime."
"Yes, sir," With that, Zetsu took head to lead them to Daora's location while the other members tailed her, on the offensive for either Hoshigaki Kisame or whatelse or whoelse they may run into on the humid isle. That is, if anything was left alive, human or animal alike, because so far, it didn't feel like it.
Due to that, it didn't take them too long to stumble upon their first casualty, a human—or so they thought because the person had been flayed. The only indication of their identity were the shredded leftovers of a flak jacket with the Kiri insignia. They discovered two other corpses on their path telling identical stories, cut into little pieces and buzzing with flies. Though, it was the fourth fatality which caused them pause—or fatalities.
"Oh my," Orochimaru gasped.
"Poor things…" Zetsu mumbled.
"Welp, looks like they're gonna 'afta rename this island, ain't they?" Sasori humoured while they all gazed upon the dead kirins off the beaten path, an entire herd of them, approximately seven or eight laid out though it could be more as the horned equine had been diced up into chunklets like ground beef with their unique purple blood dying the dirt underneath their sandals. Their trademark horns were missing too, likely snapped off to be cashed in later.
"What a better to way to get back at a nation than killing off its critically endangered species?" Kakuzu said, pulling up his face mask a little higher onto his nose to muffle out the stench of death then looking to Zetsu again. "Girl, are we getting close to Daora?"
"Yes, but…"
"But what?"
"There's something else here and it's heading towards us…" She said, instinctively stepping back into Kakuzu. Hearing this, the Akatsuki prepared themselves for whatever or whomever it was.
Thankfully, it wasn't the likes Hoshigaki Kisame which came walking out of the brush a few yards ahead of them and shifting through the mist, but a kirin. It was huge, standing taller than Kakuzu himself with its crystal-like horn extending out from between its black eyes like a sword. It was injured as dark blood dripped onto the ground from its literal shave with death. Once seeing the intruders, it paused and huffed, frothing at the mouth. It looked it may be passing them by when it suddenly swiveled on its hoof and charged. Kakuzu grabbed Zetsu by the scruff, using it to yank her backwards with him while Orochimaru backpedaled with Sasori behind her, demonstrating an impressing level of dexterity with the hermit puppet.
"Why the fuck is it attackin' us fer?" Sasori exclaimed, hunkering down in the bush with his tail rattling in an attempt to frighten the horse off but it only aggregated further as it reared at him, kicking its front legs though unable to get to them due to the trees.
"It must not be too pleased with people at the moment," Orochimaru said, squatting on her partner's back for safety.
"I don't give a fuck if it's upset over its dead family, its in our way!" Kakuzu grumbled, observing as the kirin paced in front of the treeline manically, heavily breathing and black eyes not leaving them.
"We can't hurt it." Zetsu insisted. She had done a lot in her little lifespan, but she didn't want to add, "murdered an endangered species" on that list.
"Unfortunately, I don't think it has long and we may just be putting it out of its misery," Orochimaru said to her, ushering at the gruesome injury the equine had inflicted to its side where its black flesh was tattered into ribbons and housing its internal organs by literal threads. "It must be living on pure adrenaline at this point."
"Then let's do that," Without a word further, Kakuzu climbed out of the foliage, much to the protest of Zetsu.
Immediately, the kirin switched its focus to this new foe facing it and shook out its white mane while booting up dirt with its hoof in preparation to charge again. Kakuzu, meanwhile, stood his ground. After a bit more huffing and puffing, the horse ran towards him, head bowed with bladed horn aimed to maim. At the last second, he triggered his Doton, steeling his skin into dense bronze that made him as heavy, if not heavier than a statue of it. So, when the kirin rammed into him, it was the equivalent of running itself face first into a wall which effectively stunned it.
As it stumbled back, Kakuzu put the mythical creature into a chokehold and grasped its horn. The kirin bucked and whinnied but it was no use as after much wresting, the spike snapped off. He let go of the equine and as it backed up, he turned towards it, exhibiting its colossal horn in hand. It must've realized what it was and without it, it didn't have much defense or offensive left, so it reared back and fled into the thickage where it would likely die very soon. Once the others judged it safe, they left the bushes.
"Oh, oh! Let me see!" Orochimaru plead Kakuzu, hands outstretched and making grabbing motions, not unlike a child with a new toy. He happily handed it over and the elder cooed at the antler which mimicked a diamond in the rough. "It's beautiful! It'd make brilliant jewelry, don't you think?"
"Er ya could just sell it that hunk o' rock. Could be worth a lot," Sasori said, earning an offended glance from her partner as he hugged her new prize defensively.
"Whatever. Now that's over, let's get back to our objective," Understanding this, Zetsu started walking again with Kakuzu right behind her and Sasori and Orochimaru behind him—the latter of which tucked the horn away in a scroll for easy transportation.
Thankfully, this didn't run into anymore of the island's inhabitants after that—alive, at least nor Hoshigaki Kisame. Who they did find, however, was Daora; nesting on a dead kirin, her mask smeared in its dark blood with pieces of its flesh wedged in her beak, as if she had eating it, or trying to? Upon seeing her master, the chimera leapt up, doing her happy dance before galloping over and pushed her head into Kakuzu's belly which in turn wiped the blood onto his cloak, to his displeasure. Blood stains were a bitch to wash out but at least it didn't show on the black fabric.
"Daora, did you find him?" Kakuzu asked after an acceptable payment in pets for her service. With a happier dance and cooing, she confirmed it so. After being gifted more headpats with Zetsu helping until the heart was purring so hard, she was pulsating, Daora pointed in the direction Kisame was traveling much like a hunting dog.
"Before we proceed, I think we need a plan on how to approach Mr. Hoshigaki," Orochimaru spoke up before a step more could be taken towards their target. "If we all go at him at once, he may get spooked and attack."
"So, the surprise birthday party is outta the question then?" Her partner sarcastically interrogated her to which Orochimaru only sighed and rolled her eyes into the back of her head. Even she could only take so much of his smartassery.
"What do you purpose then?" Kakuzu asked on behalf of them all.
"I reckon only one of us confronts him while the rest of us surround him so if things go south, we can ambush."
"And who do you suggest speaks to him?" Zetsu inquired and immediately regretted doing so as Orochimaru gifted her a sickly-sweet smile which made her stomach curdle from its sugariness. Though, it could be leftover from the sea. "What?"
"Absolutely fucking not!" Kakuzu exclaimed upon seeing the look the Sannin was giving his partner too. "I am not letting Zetsu approach him alone."
"M-Me? Why me?"
"Because you're the most approachable out of all of us—" Orochimaru attempted to explain but was rudely interrupted by Kakuzu.
"Why can't you do it? You are a woman too, afterall."
Orochimaru frowned at the obviously misogynistic statement but chose not to address it if just because it was neither the time nor place for such an argument. "Because I may be a woman, but I am also a Sannin. So, he may recognize me, and don't you reckon that seeing a Sannin of all people will spook him?" She had a point, one of which Kakuzu couldn't immediately think of a rebuttal too, letting her continue on in her explanation. "Besides, Zetsu is the most unassuming out of us all so she would have the best bet at speaking to him. Unless you have a better plan?"
Whilst Kakuzu didn't purpose anything else outright, it was obviously by his face and posture with arms crossed that he was none pleased by the trade-off with Zetsu herself looking understandably nervous. After a moment, the pregnant silence between Akatsuki members was disrupted not by speech but a sigh.
"I'll do it." Zetsu finally surrendered and Kakuzu gave her an incredulous look.
"Brilliant! And do not fret, darling. We'll be with you. I especially won't let anything happen to you." Orochimaru said, patting the other female's arm which didn't appear to make her feel any better, maybe even worse.
"I'd trade 'er to the devil fer a corn chip." Sasori grumbled, earning a thump on Hiruko's back from an offended Orochimaru.
"Girl, are you sure?" Kakuzu interrogated Zetsu to which she nodded though after a moment of hesitation on her part. "As Orochimaru said, we'll set up an ambush. I won't let that bastard lay a finger on you." She nodded again, lips piquing the least bit into a smile knowing she wouldn't be going into this one alone.
With that decision made, Zetsu went in the direction Daora told them of whilst the other members took their positions amongst the bush.
…
AN: I just want to deeply apologize for the latest of this chapter. At the end of February, we had a major water line break, and our house has been in construction hell since. Thankfully, I had this chapter mostly done when it occurred, but nothing kills your writing mood more than having to juggle appointments with a dozen different construction and insurance people every week.
Anyway, here is the chapter. Originally, it was going to be one large, omega chapter with Kisame but as I kept writing it, the more out of place it felt with me with being a single chapter. So, I've divided it into two. I'll do my best to get out the next asap but so promises since it's going to involve fighting and those always take me awhile to think up.
Chapter Fun Fact(s): The kirin scene with Kakuzu was inspired by the Rajang vs Kirin Ecology Intro from Monster Hunter World: Iceborne.
Next Chapter: Akatsuki vs. Hoshigaki Kisame
Until Next Time.