Book 3: Astoria Greengrass and the Legilimens of Hogwarts
Song rec: "Sonnet" by The Verve

Draco did not wait for the dementor book to try to find its way back to Clarke. When he finished his essay right before Snape's class, he left it in the common room. Apparently, it had hit Max Manson in the head when it started soaring back to Clarke's dormitory that evening. Draco sadly hadn't been there to see it; he was still working on the Vanishing Cabinet, with Crabbe and Goyle on lookout.

The following day, he met up with Astoria before Astronomy. They were meeting together well before they were due to leave for class, since they wanted to avoid walking up with Theodore and Tracey. If they could keep Theodore and Tracey at least two storeys behind them, they could say and do whatever they wanted. The Ravenclaws and Gryffindors, being in towers, used different routes to class, and since Hannah Abbott had had to leave school, there were no Hufflepuffs. This night was a little different, since they had been instructed to meet in the Entrance Hall. The class was going outside to work on Atmospheric Charms. Astoria had her hair different for Astronomy than she had worn it earlier. It was in some sort of low, braided bun. She looked very nice, so Draco told her.

"You're very handsome yourself," she said. He always liked compliments.

"I haven't done anything," he milked it.

"You don't need to," she played along.

"I bet you're excited for tonight."

"Oh, yes. I've wanted her to teach me Atmospheric magic since I first saw her."

"Why not learn it yourself? You could handle it."

"It's illegal with no licence."

"Still, you could handle it," he shrugged.

"Ha! We'll see if I can even cast anything."

They held hands until they reached the ground floor. Then Astoria drew their hands up, kissed his fingers, and let go. The secrecy they had adopted was somewhat exciting rather than inconvenient. Although, some people had vague ideas about why they walked together. He was actually starting to like the way her cousin Adamina glared at them whenever they walked into class together, and tonight was no different.

"Good evening, Adamina," Astoria said in spite of it.

"Are you going to be okay with your wand, Astoria?" Adamina responded with intent.

She had no business asking that. Her dad was a Squib. Everyone knew that Adamina's grandparents had had a Squib, and that that Squib married the only way he could — the Greengrass way. Draco was thinking of something to say to Adamina, but the more he thought about his usual insults, the more confused he became. All of Adamina's grandparents and her mother were pure-blood. Her father was a Squib, and Adamina was a witch. Did that make her a half-blood? Adamina couldn't have been classified as pure-blood, but she wasn't exactly a half-blood, either. Squib-blood? Dud-blood? He couldn't say 'Dud-blood' in front of Astoria…

Squibs almost never married pure-bloods, so Draco had never been confronted with this dilemma before. Was there any difference between the children of a Squib with half-blood parents and children of Squibs with pure-blood parents? Could two Squibs make a wizard? What would that be called? It couldn't be a Muggle-born. Unless it was… How else did Muggle-borns crop up? The official Death Eater take on the subject was that Mudbloods had stolen magic, but Mudbloods often exhibited magic so early that they flabbergasted their Muggle parents. That's why Clarke had been abused by her parents, right? Because she was magical. Had the pure-blood philosophers ever seen a baby before? There was no way they could steal magic. They couldn't even sit up.

Draco noticed that Astoria had never responded to Adamina. To him, that was odd. It was only on rare occasions when Draco did not have a comeback to someone who insulted him. He was used to blowing up arguments into fights. Astoria, though, could not have looked more unconcerned about her honour. Neville Longbottom had arrived (he looked like he had taken a wrong turn, since he did not come down the Grand Staircase), and Astoria exchanged a thumbs-up with him that Draco did not understand.

"His wand's cherry, too," Astoria whispered once he sat with the Ravenclaws.

Draco wasn't inclined to talk about Neville Longbottom in the slightest. That arseface had been one of the students with Potter in the Department of Mysteries that had cost his dad his freedom. Astoria didn't need the details. Draco's enemies didn't need to be hers. He had so many — she'd be happier that way.

"You're going to do great out there," he said simply.

"Well, now I have to, since you said that," Astoria pretended to pout.

Tracey and Theodore arrived, followed by Sinistra and three expressionless Aurors. Granger arrived last and made a big show of it even though she wasn't late. She dropped her pressure altimeter on the stair, and Theodore caught it with his wand before it hit the bottom. She made an ugly sort of noise and looked up at Theodore.

"You look like you thought I was going to break it!" he laughed.

Theodore almost never laughed. Or blushed.

"Oh. No… er… Thank you, Theodore," Granger said.

Everyone walked out, but Draco grabbed Theodore's shoulder and asked him how many allergies he had. Theodore recognised it as a Polyjuice security question, scoffed, and said, "Five — shellfish, peanuts, horklumps, pollen, and stupid questions."

"Just playing it safe," Draco said, and Theodore snorted.

The night was as cold as winter. The sky was cloudy, and Draco imagined it would be their job to clear it. The three Aurors had their wands drawn, but Professor Sinistra told them to wait. They did not look like they were of half a mind to listen to her.

"It will be good practice for the students. Class – wands ready!"

Draco was the last to know why they had to draw so soon. Atmospheric Charms were not supposed to be cast with so many people nearby. Only when Professor Sinistra swept her layered, black robes to the side and knelt down was Draco's attention brought to the ground. Dementor mist was churning at their feet. Professor Sinistra placed her hand deep into the miasma and concentrated. Then she stood, unswerving.

"There are no adults," she said categorically to the Aurors, but the class had been equally keen to know. "We are going to attempt the Patronus Charm. Those who cast a corporeal one will get bonus points on the next test. Those who cast an incorporeal one will get extra credit on this week's homework. I understand Professor Snape has been giving you this exercise occasionally."

"We didn't learn it from Snape, though," Anthony Goldstein felt the need to say. Sinistra ignored him.

"You should concentrate on a happy memory. I understand a funny one may also work as well. Do not be deterred by the mist. We have three Aurors here and are very close to the castle. I want you, as a class, to clear a path to the flying lessons' field, where we will begin our Astronomy lesson. It should look like this…"

Professor Sinistra made a simple circle with her wand and said the incantation. She then said, "…Except something might actually happen when you do it."

The Gryffindor pair and Goldstein were more than ready to show everyone up. Goldstein had conjured a whole flipping bear in a few moments, Granger had made some Jarvey-looking thing, and Longbottom seemed awfully proud to have any Patronus wisps at all. The mist on the ground reliably started to part away from the class, and Sinistra led the charge forth. Swati Pevekar and Adamina also produced only incorporeal Patronuses, but they didn't look as satisfied as Longbottom. Tracey, who had been doing well enough in Snape's class, now had a large wild cat of some sort. Theodore had tried twice for good measure, but he consigned himself to walking behind the safety of the Jarvey, which was a little humiliating. Draco hadn't successfully cast anything, either, but maybe Theodore would think that he had on account of Astoria's peacock. Nobody said Draco had to tell him differently.

The patch of field where first-years had Flying lessons looked like it served no purpose in the dark. Draco felt especially old thinking back to Flying lessons and how he hadn't had a care in the world back then except to be popular. Flying lessons had been fun, but the real prize was in his second year, when his father bought the whole Quidditch team Nimbus 2001s. That had been the best thing in the world.

Draco wasn't the only one starting to reminisce by being back on this field. Swati Pevekar started talking about Quidditch, and others talked about the first time they had flown whilst Professor Sinistra physically moved Theodore and Anthony Goldstein, who weren't following her instructions on where to position themselves. From where everyone now stood, there couldn't be a private conversation, but Astoria had such a way of making it feel like one by only looking at Draco when she said her parents didn't like the idea of her flying since she got motion-sick and her blood pressure dropped. Other people looked at her, and she did not look back.

"They let your sister fly," Draco said, noticing the unfairness.

"They let Daphne do all kinds of things, and she doesn't get mail every other day to 'check up.' It's cosseting." Astoria complained.

"Different from spoiling," he said.

"Very different from spoiling. Why do you think I didn't get here until I was nearly thirteen?"

"Probably because there was a troll in the dungeons, a basilisk underground, and dementors on the train…" Draco considered.

"I'll give them that."

"Shh," Adamina hissed to her errant cousin because Professor Sinistra was ready to start.

Everyone was instructed to place their pressure altimeters where they could see them. Keeping an eye on the barometric pressure would help them learn the interplay between that and atmospheric magic. Astoria and Adamina both had highly advanced ones that they strapped onto the wrists of their wand hands.

"We're going to start with a simple spell to move the clouds. I have to use this nearly every night to teach. This is not only useful for clearing the sky, but also for blocking some of the moon's reflection. This spell, and most Atmospheric magic, involves a good bit of pressure and wind, which is why I've spaced you out. I shouldn't have to say this to sixth-years, but if I see wands pointed anywhere but up, there will be hell to pay. Everyone can aim for the same cloud — yes, that one — since it's going to take some time before you can successfully do this independently. You're going to need a lot of power behind this spell. The incantation is nubes momentum. Join in when you're ready after Miss Granger here…"

"All of this hype, and it's nubes momentum," Astoria said with raised eyebrows.

She watched what Draco was doing intently, and gladly enough, the cloud had actually started to move so he wouldn't look bad (it was mostly Tracey's doing). Astoria tapped her wand against her hip twice, an endearing idiosyncrasy that she must have subconsciously thought made it work better. Then she went for it, and suddenly hit the ground hard on her bottom. Everyone stopped casting and looked at her. The cloud had been split in two. She didn't pay mind to anyone, having her eyes set on the device on her wrist. Astoria stood up, muddy and unabashed.

"That's plenty enough power, Astoria, but as you see, now we have two clouds to deal with."

"Yes, Professor. I apologise."

"Are you all right?" Draco asked.

"I am fine. Nubes momentum."

Astoria was having way too much fun with this. She had one hand on her hip and her feet spread apart, planted firmly this time. It was pretty funny to see her in this pose as she took responsibility for the smaller cloud she had created. Astoria successfully sped it along on her second try, all the way over to the Quidditch pitch. Neither Tracey nor Granger, who were already overachieving, had done that yet. Professor Sinistra did not compliment Astoria, though. Draco suspected that was because the class already knew that she and Astoria were two of a kind, but Draco thought he'd make a show anyhow.

"Ten points to Slytherin," he said.

Astoria, who had broken the circle and followed her cloud to the edge of the Auror's area, quickly looked down and smiled.

"You're not supposed to award points in class," she whispered happily. "It's the discretion of the professor, not the prefect."

"Too late," Draco said, marvelling at how difficult it was to move the next few clouds even with seven other people. Astoria had done yet another one by herself. Maybe the other students were hindering him more than helping… He hated group work that wasn't with Astoria.

"We've run out of clouds. Excellent job, class," Sinistra said. "That will be ten points to Ravenclaw and ten to Gryffindor. Slytherin, I understand, you already have yours."

Draco and Astoria looked anywhere but at her. Professor Sinistra continued:-

"I'm going to up the ante and bring in a heavier cloud for you to practise with. Notice how the primary goal is frequently moving clouds away, but I will be moving one toward us so that you can practise with it. This demonstrates, or perhaps I should say forecasts, how we will eventually be able to 'summon' the weather. You can imagine how useful this is. Also, with heavier clouds, it is more effective to use the incantation nimbus momentum."

The class said the spell mostly together this time, but it still felt like a weight to cast it. Draco felt the continuous stream of Atmospheric magic making contact with the droplets in the cloud and wondered how some people did this for a living. The pressure control alone, not to mention the constant lift and rotation of the arm, was very tiring. Adamina and Theodore, who were both lanky, looked ready to quit. Astoria, for as small as she was, was having no trouble at all now. Maybe her wacko wand was finally coming in handy.

"Tracey, please aim a little left," Granger ordered bossily. "If you can follow where Astoria and I are, we might have this cleared in no time."

"Good thinking, Miss Granger," Professor Sinistra fussed once the cloud was moved. "I would like you three to practise the nimbus spell on that big one I just moved in. The rest of us will continue here."

Sinistra knew that trio had done all the hard work and there would be no way for the rest of them to practise. But once Astoria left, the lesson became more physically tiring. Sinistra must have known the torture they were now going through, because without the overachievers, the pressure on their wands with this spell was creating an ache. There was no way little airborne water particles should be this difficult to move when they could be flown right through.

"The reason it's difficult is because we are disrupting the natural current of the wind and creating our own pressure system. Atmospheric magic has the potential to go horribly wrong and create tornadoes or make people pressure sick. Not at this level, of course. I used to think I could use Atmospheric magic to travel space when I was little, but we'll see…" Professor Sinistra mused.

Moving clouds was getting boring until Astoria's group slipped up. Clearly too eager, they had manipulated a rather large rain cloud to the point that it showered, all at once, right on them. Tracey yelped, and the rest of the class could not help but laugh. The compact area of such a strong downpour, falling right on their heads and nowhere else, made it look like something from a comic strip.

"Not your day after all, Astoria?" Draco called.

"Leave her alone, Malfoy!" Granger yelled as the three girls ran out of the pond they had created.

"I don't recall talking to you!" Draco snapped.

"Leave her alone, Draco!" Astoria said, running past him.

He just couldn't win.

"That's breaking school property," Sinistra said. "We take our cloud supply very seriously."

The trio laughed amongst themselves whilst Sinistra dried them off. Draco was grateful for the interruption so he could take a break. Theodore was hunched over with his hands on his knees, breathing heavily.

"Magic is not supposed to be this physical!" he complained.

Draco had to put up with Atmospheric Charms for another fifteen minutes, and then class was finally over. It wasn't as difficult as Apparition, but that was about all he could say in its favour. There was no more dementor mist, so Draco didn't get another chance at the extra credit with the Patronus. It wasn't like he was going to get it right, anyway.

"I have literally never seen you this dirty," he said to Astoria.

She still had grime all over her from the fall, and though Sinistra had tried to dry her off, she smelt of wet clothes. It was a huge contrast to her usual spotlessness. She stopped a moment to remove her robe. It helped, but it wasn't as funny that way. He hadn't meant it as a criticism.

The trip back was bound to have Theodore and Tracey, so Draco had to act normal even though he was in a bad mood and wanted Astoria to get him out of it. It wasn't her responsibility to cheer him up. That wasn't the right line of thinking and he knew it, but at least he was honest with himself. She was so good at it. Draco wished she was staying at Hogwarts over Easter holidays like he was. It wouldn't be ideal, since he would have to explain his long absences without having schoolwork, but he wanted her all to himself before they were out of time. He thought he might even be able to finish the Vanishing Cabinet over Easter. That would be ideal because he could bring in other Death Eaters without endangering random students, who would mostly be at home. But then what? Could he kill Albus Dumbledore only for the Dark Lord's eye, without anyone else knowing? Draco was at the Dark Lord's mercy when it came to his permission to lead a normal life. The mere three days before the holidays might be all he had left with Astoria. She was done with classes at three o'clock on Friday, and her sister only had class in the morning. That meant they would be going home that afternoon. Then, if the Dark Lord's plan went accordingly, Astoria might wake up to news of her boyfriend having murdered somebody. Or did Draco even get to call himself her boyfriend?

"You have Le— the thing with Sinistra tomorrow, right? From one to five."

"One-fifteen to five, yes," she said. "It's gruelling."

"Then what?"

"Oh, erm… nothing after that," she said, and her volume went below that of Tracey and Theodore's conversation. "Rhi and the twins are busy in Astronomy tomorrow from 10:30 to 11:30."

That's… late, he thought, and his hands went cold.

The next day, Astoria and Draco were trying to leave the Great Hall together to go for a walk in the grounds. Clarke looked at him gravely when he and Astoria stood up together, forcing him to recall their conversation about Death Eaters. Then she held up some sort of broken mirror piece. Draco knew she was dirt poor, but it was kind of sad that most things she had were broken in some way or another. The mirror didn't reflect anything, so Clarke snorted at it and shrugged. She rolled her eyes at Astoria before they left.

"Rhiannon's sixteenth birthday was yesterday, so she thinks she is old enough to mother me," Astoria said. "I'm already getting enough mail from my real mother."

"About what?"

"Oh, Death Eaters and all the people they kidnap," Astoria said crossly. "There are no Death Eaters interested in me."

Well… there's one.

"I don't know what makes her think I am so vulnerable. Remember what Professor Sinistra said about how much trouble we would be in if we aimed Atmospheric Charms anywhere but the sky? That tells me that they can be used as defensive magic. I'll make it rain Death Eaters if I'm put to it. Everyone needs to get off my case," Astoria fumed.

"Oh, gosh…" she changed suddenly. "I'm sorry to start off on the negative already. It's really such a nice day out. I was just irritated. Anyway, how are you?"

"Don't worry about it," Draco said. "You can talk."

It was always entertaining to see Astoria coming out of the shell her family had put on her. Draco probably shouldn't have been thinking this, but there were quite a few Death Eaters he'd like to see blasted with an Atmospheric Charm from Astoria. She was a little firecracker beneath all of her class and composure. But he offered her his arm, rather than his hand, because he knew she liked the old-fashioned way, too. This was the girl everyone used to make fun of for standing when the professors entered the room.

It was pleasantly cool out to Draco, though Astoria was in a scarf and gloves. It was overcast, and he wondered if Astoria would move the clouds out of the way if only to warm herself, but she didn't bother. Draco was very curious about how her Legilimency lessons had been going and wondered how they might be different from the Occlumency training he had had with Bellatrix. …Besides all the things that would naturally be different with somebody other than Bellatrix.

"I learnt a lot in Legilimency today," Astoria said, and Draco nearly started.

"You need to stop doing that. You make me think my Occlumency is bad."

"Your Occlumency is opaque to me," Astoria said.

"But I was wondering about your lessons just now."

"It's coincidence," she sighed sadly. "I think I can only pick up on Rhiannon without the full technique. We're so close, so perhaps that's why."

"You're not trying to do this nonverbally and wandless, are you?"

"I ought to eventually," Astoria said. "It's exhausting, but I really like it now that I'm used to it. I also think it's special to be taught by a woman. I mean, historically, witches were only trained as Legilimens so that they could understand the multitude of reasons babies cry."

"Really? I didn't know that," Draco said. Professor Binns never mentioned anything interesting.

"Advanced Legilimency was reserved for wizards up until the 1500s," she went on. "I learnt all that from my book. Professor Sinistra was taught by her friend, who is a dhampir."

"Dhampir? Sinistra really is intense," Draco said. "Does she let you extract your memories before rummaging about your head?"

"Oh, absolutely."

"So… which ones do you extract?"

Once he had heard himself, he knew it was the most personal question he had ever asked her. He savoured the way she looked at him. She was blushing, both from cold and embarrassment. None of this would have been imaginable when they first met. He kissed her forehead. It was a cheesy move, but he had to show her at least part of the breadth of his feelings in their short time together.

"You don't have to tell me, Astoria."

"Well, if I tell you a memory I extract before Legilimency lessons, you should tell me a memory you Occlude," she said.

"Deal."

"I always take out… Well, I always take out the time my parents called over my cousin Renshaw and sat me down and told me what a Squib was. Because I was over four years old then. And they didn't want… erm, they didn't want me to feel like I was alone. That's my earliest memory in my whole life."

"So when you say they thought you were a Squib, you mean they were one-hundred percent convinced," Draco understood.

He had been flinging magic round since infancy. Maybe this was because her family kept Squibs in the gene pool. But Astoria herself had no Squib ancestors. It didn't matter — she was here now — she was trying to tell him something very personal.

"I think that's what started the whole 'treat Astoria differently than Daphne' protocol," she said, but she was starting to struggle greatly.

"Well, hey, you're no Squib," he said. "And the likes of your parents would never chuck you out of the family if you were."

"No," she laughed. "No, they'd wall me in properly. I mean, that's not the deepest darkest thing I take out, but it certainly makes me uncomfortable to talk about. In fact, I can't express how nice it is to actually talk about it with… well, with you."

Draco shrugged awkwardly.

"I always Occlude information about other people I know. But, er, I guess a deep dark story I bury would be… Psh, I don't know if I can say it."

"You don't have to," Astoria said, free of pressure and judgment. He so badly wanted to be open with somebody, and she was the one to do that with.

"I overheard an argument between my parents I never should have heard," he said carefully.

"That can really hurt sometimes."

"Yeah," he said. "Well, the whole issue was — and you can't tell anybody this, and you have to take it out of your memories during your Legilimency lessons, you hear?"

"Yes, I understand," she said, and she stopped walking to show her appreciation of the serious topic. But Draco felt better walking for this sort of thing, and he led her forth along the path.

"Mother was crying, and I heard her say, 'It wasn't my idea to have a child with the Dark Lord at our doorstep.' And I don't remember anything else they said because I ran back down the hall. And that's messed me up ever since because I feel like I must have been… er, you know, a mistake. Obviously, my parents wanted children… they're pure-bloods… but, maybe the timing wasn't what they wanted. Like, the timing was an accident and so was I. One big accident."

"That would be very upsetting to hear as a child. Or any time," said Astoria.

"It was. I mean, it is. That's why I block it out so easily."

He felt like he was gushing all of this unwanted information on his new girlfriend. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. He was always tough when he was with girls. Perhaps it was because he had to be. He felt he had to make that impression. And if Pansy heard a story like that she would simply reply, "Oh Draaaaaco, you poor thiiing. That's so saaaad." Yet Astoria was taking all of this in very considerately. She allowed for silence, but ultimately said:-

"Do you see the error now in your thinking?"

"What?"

"Well, the meaning of her sentence was 'the Dark Lord shouldn't have been at my doorstep with a baby here,' not 'I didn't want a baby.'"

"I know, but she said — oh."

Oh.

Oh!

"You were very young. So you remember the context closest to you. Which is, of course, the context about you. But she was talking about the Dark Lord, or at least the effects he left on your family after his disappearance," Astoria said.

Something Draco had stewed within himself for thirteen years was as plain as day to Astoria after only hearing about it second-hand. His thoughts about why he was an only child. His thoughts about why he had to be the best at everything he did. Gone. Like that. How could he have not known this?

"There, see!" she said, her voice now as light as the feeling in Draco's heart. "You really think with the way you're spoiled rotten that you were a mistake? Not a chance, Mis-ter Mal-foy."

"I didn't think it was being spoiled back then. I thought it was because we were a wealthy family. I liked the attention," he uttered.

"I was wealthy, but the attention you and I received was out of love, Draco, not to make a good public impression like so much else in our lives is," Astoria said matter-of-factly.

"You're… fantastic."

"Good. I try."

"No, I mean it," he said, stopping her and holding her shoulders.

He promised himself that every kiss between them would be as good as if it were their last. He never knew when their last would be. Thoughts of using his rank as Death Eater to save her life spun webs in his thoughts, twisting his goals and rearranging his already sparse morals. If he killed Albus Dumbledore, there'd be no room to argue. His family would be spared in the deed's place. So if she'd still have him, he would not hesitate to keep her. In this kiss, she needed to taste the hundred apologies on his lips that he was already wanting to give. Maybe someday she would understand everything, even if it took Legilimency. She would understand him and why he had to do these things.

"Draco," she said with a laugh, catching her breath.

He had originally been the one to push for their secrecy due to the war. Doing this out in the open was illogical and probably dangerous. Yes, sometimes it was exciting, but other times, it was such an inconvenience to be a dangerous person.

"Sorry," he said. "What will the papers say? 'Pariah Frontwitch Thrown from Stage by Bandmates.'"

"Unlikely."

"'Malfoy-Greengrass Relationship Starts the Apocalypse.'"

"Now that one might be a headline," she said.

Astoria stepped left where Draco was going to go right, but he decided to follow her. The path led downward to the shoreline of the lake, where the boats were docked. Draco closely studied the ivy-covered caves along the shore out of his reawakened paranoia. It was very quiet, but anything might echo. Draco considered casting an Imperturbable Charm on the area, but he thought Astoria might take it the wrong way. His mind easily raced when he was alone with her. Astoria wandered into a small recess and stared intently at a rock.

"Is that rock being rude to you?" he said over her shoulder.

"Aren't you funny! I'm trying to make sure I don't scald this rock when I use the Hot Air Charm."

"You want me to cast it?"

"No, I've got to do this in case it's on the O.W.L."

Astoria cast it correctly, turning the wet, mossy rock into a perfectly dry place to sit. They admired the view of the lake for a minute, then Astoria pursed her lips.

"I had to come in on the boats to be Sorted, and we had to wait all the way over there whilst the rest of you stepped into carriages. And that," she pointed, "is where Parkinson pushed me into the lake."

"I should have known then and saved myself the trouble," he remarked openly. "She hasn't bothered me since she came back. If she bothers you, let me know."

"She hasn't come near me. Smart of her. You must have let her down hard."

"I had to," Draco said. "She secretly fancies Rabastan Lestrange of all people."

I shouldn't have said that.

"Rabastan… That explains a lot, actually. I thought I saw her reading books on the Longbottom tragedy. She must have talked about Lestrange frequently enough for that to become Daphne's boggart."

"Lestrange is Daphne's boggart?" Draco clarified.

So Pansy had lost her self-control, mentioned this mental case to her friends, and turned him into Daphne's greatest fear. It kept getting more disgusting.

"I've seen him," Astoria said, "in Professor Sinistra's memories. They were in the same class sometimes. It's fuzzy, but I always feel her hatred for him. I mean I physically feel her hatred for him. Legilimency is so strange. Have you ever tried it?"

"No, only Occlumency."

Draco had detected how Bellatrix considered Legilimency to be some sort of divine privilege from the Dark Lord and did not dare ask her how to do it. He never knew exactly what the Dark Mark could relay back to the Dark Lord and did not attempt the spell. The Dark Lord might take it as insurgency. One never knew.

"That makes sense, though," Draco continued. "Sinistra cut off his ear."

Usually people didn't smile when they were talking about ears getting cut off, but Draco had an ever-increasing grudge against Rabastan. And, unlike Pansy, Astoria would never have any reason to wish Rabastan had all of his body parts.

"You have a concert coming up?" he changed the subject.

"In two weeks. Do you want tickets?"

"I have to stay at the castle or my mother will have a heart attack," he said, which was partially true.

"Ah, I understand. I'm sure my parents don't want me to do it either, but I have a contract to uphold."

"How long are you going to stay in the band?" he asked.

Pariah was the kind of Muggle-loving group that would get too much attention from somebody trying to start a pure-blood regime.

"Until they sack me, I suppose," Astoria said, with a hint of irritation. "It's nice to have my own spending money instead of having my parents knowing every single thing I purchase. I've come to like the band. Sometimes it's a bit much, but…"

Astoria trailed off.

"You know I still worry about the attention you get, now that there are Death Eaters out of Azkaban."

"I know, Draco. We've talked about it before."

"Well, I'd like for you to take me seriously," Draco said as gently as he could. "People are getting killed for being blood-traitors. It's all in the news. Since your family is so wealthy, you might make good ransom in a Death Eater's opinion. And then, because of your family's reputation and your own involvement with Pariah, they might kill you anyway after getting paid."

Even though it felt like the millionth time they'd talked about this, this was the very first time it looked like Astoria was mulling it over. A bit of context and a scare word like "ransom" worked much better than trying to tell her to get away from Rhiannon Clarke.

"We're leaving the country anyway," Astoria said, hardly loud enough to be a whisper.

Draco didn't want her to leave, but he had been the one so certain that she couldn't stay. She couldn't stay and see what he had become. She had to leave whilst they still had some good memories of each other. Draco wasn't used to this, but he tried to do what she did for him, to talk about the bright side.

"Your Ravenclaw dad will probably make you stay in school even if you're on the run."

"Oh yes. I know all about Beauxbatons, but I'm not sure we'd go back to France. Durmstrang's out of the question — they'll be as bad there as here in no time. Sally-Anne went to Ilvermorny when the Ministry stopped providing. Manami is from Mahōtokoro, but I don't know very much about it. It's hard to say where I'll end up."

"Uagadou has a fantastic Astronomy programme," Draco recalled from something or other Professor Sinistra had once mentioned.

"Professor Sinistra's mother went there," Astoria said, obviously having gained the knowledge from a Legilimency lesson. "It's pulp-free magic."

"…What?" Draco laughed.

"I really don't know. That's how her mother described it to her. Pulp-free! It's her favourite memory of mine by far. I think she was describing the feeling of wandless magic…? Her mother taught her how to do magic with only her hands."

It was getting later. Small, colourful frogs started croaking at the edge of the lake. They grouped together, hopping in tune with their evening song, and leapt magically across the water with no lily pads to support them. If Hagrid had ever taught students about normal magical creatures instead of all the man-eating ones, Draco might have known what the frogs actually were. He listened closely to their song before they descended into the water.

"I'm really going to miss you, Astoria," he said.

Why did he have to say that? He had fixed the mood, and now he'd ruined it again. They were back to talking about the war.

"I'll miss you too," Astoria said, leaning on him. "I'm sure we'll be back someday."

If the Dark Lord doesn't get powerful enough to push you even further away from me.

Draco wrapped his arm round her. He would never be able to forget how natural it felt to hold her. He did not want to end up as an old Death Eater bachelor with a chip on his shoulder like Professor Snape. Or Rabastan Lestrange for that matter. Worse yet would be trying to have a normal family life like his parents had tried so hard to do for him, with the Dark Lord at their doorstep during his mother's pregnancy…

"I'm glad," Astoria sniffed.

She was the opposite of glad. She had turned away from him and buried her face hard into her sleeve. Draco didn't let go of her. The girls in her class called her a cry-baby, but he didn't want her to think she wasn't allowed to cry.

"I'm glad you wanted to spend time with me after all… Even if it's not for very long. I'm so glad. It's worth it. It's worth knowing that we had this. You've meant more to me than I wanted to admit before. That's why I was always taking everything personally. I cared. I really did. I think we've finally grown up. We finally have something. And now… it's not fair…"

Draco knew damn well that if she took something personally, it was his own fault for saying things about her friends. He never took insults to his family without retaliating, and to Astoria, friends were right up there with family. And not the Crabbe-is-your-distant-cousin-because-we're-all-pure-bloods sort of family. This girl had a generous amount of caring in her heart. Having only a portion of it had made such a difference in Draco's life.

Astoria was still ashamed to face him with tears, so he leaned forward and nuzzled into her hair. He searched his head for something good to say, but all he could respond with was "I'm glad, too." He used to be cool in front of her. She was the tearful one, and she was still acting cooler than he was. Astoria settled herself down, turned gently toward his awkward attempt at affection, and knew exactly how to touch him so that he felt the perfect balance of truly loved and genuinely wanted.