NOTE: Let me try and make this more clear. After "Fear and Loathing in Ginger Town" the FT Cast will be watching Return of Cooler, Super Android 13, and History of Trunks. They will watch Broly and Plan to Eradicate the Saiyans before the Cell Games. I will also being doing ALL of the "Cell Vs". No they will not be watching any other DBZ movie that isn't abridged, because this is an abridged reaction fic. Me having them react to Makafushigi Adventure may have confused people into thinking I would do that.
Next, the only way they are going to be experiencing the Buu Saga is through the side story where they play DBZ: Kakarot. There will be a few surprises that I have in store for that, so look forward to that.
Now that I have made this clear, DO NOT ask any of that again. And if you do, I'll ignore it from this point forward. Other than all of that please enjoy the chapter and review.
Chapter 55: Blood, Sweat, and Gears
(cut to Android 17 smashing the head of Dr. Gero and everyone minus Trunks looking appalled. Android 17 smiles and begins to walk towards Android 18)
KRILLIN: So does this mean they're on our side?
"I wish, they were," Lucy trembled.
(Trunks yells and transforms into a Super Saiyan before firing an energy blast at the androids, making Krillin scream and dive for cover, and blowing up the mountainside)
"HOLY SHIT!" The guild jumped back by Trunks' sudden reaction.
"An overreaction...an understandable one, but still," Yukino said.
[OPENING SEQUENCE]
(cut to an outside shot of Dr. Gero's lab being decimated from Trunks' blast)
KRILLIN: (he along with everyone else has escaped the blast) Well, that settles that. You're definitely Vegeta's kid.
"Blowing up things in anger? Yes," Gajeel agreed to that point.
VEGETA: So, you done throwing a hissy fit?
TRUNKS: At least I did something instead of just standing there staring at them!
KRILLIN: We do do that a lot.
"At least you're aware of it," Freed spoke.
"We tend to do that too," Lucy sweatdropped.
(the androids appear unharmed through the smoke of the explosion and are standing on top of a cliff with Android 18 holding the pod over her head)
"And it proceeded to do nothing. Just like daddy dearest," Canna said, sarcastically.
TRUNKS: What? They're still alive? But that was my strongest blast!
VEGETA: So you just assumed they were destroyed, then?
"To be fair, you guys can't sense them," Lily defended.
KRILLIN: (off-screen) We do that a lot, too.
"That's why you shouldn't be too optimistic, Krillin," Lucy spoke.
VEGETA: Besides, what exactly changed from you in the future and now?
TRUNKS: More than I thought, less than you think…
ANDROID 17: Man, mystery kid up there sure is cranky. I think someone needs a nap.
"There is a baby version of him,"Lisanna thought of Baby Trunks.
ANDROID 18: Whatever. (throws the pod on the ground) Let's just pop this bad boy open. (presses a button to open the pod)
"This still seems like a bad idea," Jellal frowned.
POD: Initializing update one of one thousand four hundred thirty...
ANDROID 18: Yeah, screw that. (kicks the lid off the pod)
(Android 16, a green android with a red mohawk, awakens and emerges from his pod)
"Geez! He's one huge machine!" Gildarts said, surprised by the height.
ANDROID 17: Man, you are a tall bastard. So, fire-crotch, what's your name?
"Couldn't resist the ginger joke?" Evergreen rolled her eyes.
ANDROID 16: I am designated as Android 16.
ANDROID 17: What are the odds?
ANDROID 18: The old man did always have a one-track mind.
"Like Frieza and his horrible planet naming sense," Levy brought up.
ANDROID 18: What's your deal?
ANDROID 16: I am programmed with the sole purpose of murdering Son Goku.
"Yeaaaahhhh...could you not do that?" Natsu asked.
"Yeah, killing Goku seems like a bit much," Wendy said, nervously.
ANDROID 18: See? This is what I'm talkin' about.
ANDROID 17: I'm glad I killed him.
ANDROID 16: You killed Son Goku?
"Thankfully, he did not," Erza responded.
ANDROID 17: No, Dr. Gero.
ANDROID 16: Oh... May we go and murder Son Goku?
"Can that also be a no?" Lucy pleaded.
"Also, the zero concern for Gero's death?" Sting brings up.
"He is only programmed to kill Goku," Rogue answered.
ANDROID 17: Well, ain't got nothin' better to do.
ANDROID 18: So if the name of the game is kill Son Goku…
"Sounds like a really terrible game to play. I'd rather never play it," Happy munched on his fish, slowly.
ANDROID 17: Let's play.
(the three androids levitate into the air)
ANDROID 17: Hey, we should grab us a car.
ANDROID 18: The hell do we need a car?
ANDROID 17: Because I want one.
"Sounds like a spoiled brat," Makarov grumbled.
(the androids fly off)
VEGETA: Are-Are they flying away? Get back here! I am sick and tired of being ignored!
"Everyone wishes they could ignore you," Minerva deadpans.
TIEN: I wish we could ignore you…
"Triclops has the right idea," Minerva smirks.
(Vegeta transforms into a Super Saiyan)
TRUNKS: No, Dad! Stop! (flies in front of Vegeta and speeds his arms out, blocking his path)
"Trunks, sweetheart. For your own safety and health, please just let the idiot charge off," Mira pleaded.
VEGETA: Are we really doing this again?
TRUNKS: I wish you'd understand...! There's no way we can fight them without Goku!
VEGETA: And I wish you'd understand who you're talking to! I am Vegeta! Why would I ever need that gibbering fool's help!?
"Because you are 90% guaranteed to get your ass kicked," Laxus answered.
"And there's nothing wrong with accepting help from friends!" Wendy added.
"Really should redefine the "friend" word," Minerva said.
TRUNKS: Because you're not as strong as-
(Vegeta punches Trunks in the stomach, causing the latter to wheeze in pain, and flies off. Krillin and Tien fly up to Trunks.)
"Asshole," Everyone thought at the sametime.
KRILLIN: You pushed the Goku button. You shouldn't a did that.
"That button is nothing, but insecurities and failures," Minerva scoffed.
(cut to Goku's house, where Goku is still screaming his head off)
"How strong are his lungs?" Yukino gaped.
YAMCHA: Uh, Chi-Chi, you might wanna come in here...
CHI-CHI: (from the kitchen) Sorry, hon; cooking up a storm in here.
YAMCHA: This is looking kind of bad... He's screaming up a lot of blood.
"Heart failures tend to do that," Makarov touched his own chest.
CHI-CHI: I'll make sure there's plenty of iron and protein in the meal.
"Not sure if he can eat solid food in this state," Wendy replied.
"I'm sure he can inhale it," Erza told the teen.
YAMCHA: And I can't really remember the last time he inhaled. And while that's sort of impressive, I don't think it's healthy. Goku doesn't have a ton of brain cells to work with as it is.
"Just like Natsu," Gray imputed.
"SAY THAT AGAIN!"
"SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!"
"Yes, ma'am."
CHI-CHI: Look, to be honest, it's just nice to have him in the house for a change.
"That explains why she's so calm about the situation," Erza said. While she agrees that Goku should be around more often, she wishes it was under better circumstances.
(Goku stops screaming and takes a deep breath)
"He's winding back up!" Happy shouted.
YAMCHA: Oh, good, he took a b-
(Goku starts screaming again)
"Just put a muffle on him," Laxus snarked.
(cut to the androids landing on a roadside somewhere in the mountains)
ANDROID 17: Alright, here's my idea: first car that comes our way, we appropriate it.
"The killer android's first offence is stealing a car. Unless they kill someone, then they'll seem more evil to me," Minerva folded her arms.
"I'd rather they steal vehicles than start going on a murdering rampage," Kagura countered.
ANDROID 18: Ugh, and all the way out here in the boonies. It's probably gonna be a Semi.
ANDROID 17: *gasps* Oh, I hope it's a truck. What do you think, 16?
ANDROID 16: Will it assist us in murdering Son Goku?
"No." Erza answered.
ANDROID 17: I don't know. I guess you could hit him pretty hard with it.
"I'd doubt it would do anything to him. Well considering his current condition, it would probably kill him," Levy theorized.
"Levy," Erza called.
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
ANDROID 16: Then I too hope it is a truck.
(Vegeta lands in front of the three androids)
VEGETA: Well, well, well. If it isn't Faggoty Andy and On-The-Raggedy Ann.
The guild paused as Vegeta's words sunk in and they all decided once again that Vegeta's an A-class asshole to the max.
"I really hope they break his arm or kill him. Either one works for me," Minerva said, displeased by the Prince.
ANDROID 18: I'm going to break his arm.
"Go for it," Minerva completely supported 18.
ANDROID 17: Kinda proving his point, ain't-cha, sis?
ANDROID 18: Shut up, Ann.
"Which Ann? Because he did call you both a name with "An" in it?" Lisanna questioned.
VEGETA: So... Which of you children wants to tangle with the Saiyan elite?
ANDROID 17: Eh, I don't know... How 'bout you, 16?
ANDROID 16: No. He is not Goku.
"But, he's the same species as Goku. So, technically it should count," Levy tried to counter.
ANDROID 17: Man, we need to get you a hobby...
ANDROID 16: Acquiring hobby. (looks up and scans a nearby bird) Hmm.
"Oooh! Bird watching is fun!" Wendy agreed with the hobby.
"Wendy! No being happy for the killer machines!" Carla yelled. Wendy pouted in dejection at being told off.
ANDROID 17: Well then, 18. Guess he's all yours. I'm on car-watching duty.
ANDROID 18: Ugh, thanks. Make me fight the troll-doll. (walks up)
"He really does look like those creepy troll dolls you see in toy stores," Lucy shivered at the thought of the dolls.
VEGETA: So ladies first, then? Well, just to warn you... I'm not afraid to hit a woman.
ANDROID 18: That's fine... Neither am I.
"HA!" Gajeel and Minerva laughed at 18's comeback.
(Android 18 goes on the offensive and tries to attack Vegeta but misses, punching a wall on the third strike. Vegeta takes advantage of this by grabbing her arm and throws her into a nearby rocky wall. The noise caused by the both of them causes the bird Android 16 was watching to fly away along with two other birds.)
ANDROID 16/Wendy: Aww...
ANDROID 17: Hey... So was Vegeta always blonde or…
"It's a transformation," Freed answered.
ANDROID 16: The birds flew away.
ANDROID 17: Oh, yeah?
ANDROID 16: I liked the birds.
"Birds are pretty cool. I like to just fly next to them sometimes," Wendy shared her feelings.
ANDROID 17: Good for you, man.
(cut back to the battle where Vegeta punches Android 18 in the face, knocking her back in midair)
VEGETA: Ha! First blood! You may as well give up now and- (Android 18 flies away) Goddamn it! I was kidding! (flies after her)
"Well, next time you shouldn't be so literal," Canna chuckled.
(cut to an outside shot of a busy freeway before focusing on two guys in a truck. Two sounds are heard from the cargo.)
CLEM: Huh?
MITCH: What is it, Clem? (Clem looks out the window)
CLEM: Well, you ain't gonna believe this... A couple o' Europeans are fighting on top of the truck! (camera zooms out to show Vegeta and Android 18 on top of the cargo of the truck)
MITCH: Huh, that is weird. You know what else is weird?
CLEM: Aw, damn it, Mitch! Put that away! (Mitch starts laughing)
"Gross!" Evergreen looked revolted.
(cut to Trunks, Piccolo, Tien, and Krillin flying towards Vegeta and the androids)
TRUNKS: (thinking) I can't believe he's taking them on alone! He has no idea the kind of destructive force they pack... The androids are humanity's greatest threat!
"If only you had a better understanding of time travel," Jellal sighed.
(cut to back Vegeta and Android 18 duking it out on the freeway. Vegeta tries to punch Android 18 but she jumps out the way and he jumps after her, resulting in an upcoming black car skewering and exploding. Android 18 then jumps on top of a yellow car passing by and giggles while Vegeta powers up in anger and chases after her, exploding another upcoming red car behind him. Vegeta then tries to punch Android 18, but she jumps out of the way resulting in Vegeta planting his fist inside the roof of the yellow car 18 was on, startling the driver.)
"And of your father," Jellal sweatdropped.
"Yeah...Vegeta seems like the bigger threat," Yukino frowned, deeply.
VEGETA: I will kill as many people as I have to as long as you are one of them!
"At least he's aware of what he's doing," Lily said.
(Vegeta jumps off of the car, which crashes onto a wall. Cut to Androids 16 and 17 back on the roadside.)
ANDROID 17: Oh, hey, 18! You're back! No cars yet. (Android 18 lands on the roadside)
ANDROID 18: (while Vegeta also appears back on their original area) You know, there is a freeway over there, right?
ANDROID 17: Oh, I know... This is just funner.
"That is not a word," Levy responded.
"Now isn't the time, squirt," Gajeel deadpanned at her.
VEGETA: So, android, are you done running?
ANDROID 18: I don't know. Is your mouth?
"Frieza tried shutting him up and the guy still rose from the dead," Laxus explained.
VEGETA: Well, aren't you f**king clever? But wait, I have a retort!
"Does it involve blowing something up?" Makarov asked, already knowing Vegeta's answer.
(a truck is seen moving towards the ongoing battle from behind Android 18)
ANDROID 17: Aw, yeah! A tru-
(Vegeta fires an energy blast at Android 18, who jumps out of the way, so the blast blows up the truck instead)
ANDROID 17: Aww... Dick!
"I kinda feel bad for him. He really wanted that truck," Natsu said, feeling pity for 17.
ANDROID 18: Be honest... Is this just a short-guy thing?
"No, I don't think so. Krillin doesn't have anger issues, just really bad luck. It's just a Vegeta thing," Lucy responded to the question.
VEGETA: You talk a lot of shit for a washing machine. And no, I'm not just saying that 'cause you're an android. I'm saying it because you're a wom- (Android 18 headbutts him hard in the face, drawing blood under his right eye)
"How many sexist comments has he dropped?" Yukino asked, not liking a single one of them.
"Eh, I've lost count over the course of the Namek debacle. But, he's been getting his ass kicked for each one of them. So, it's a fair trade," Levy told the Celestial user.
VEGETA: You know what? Just for that... I'm not gonna take it easy on you anymo- (Android 18 palm punches him into the side of a mountain)
Minerva laughed her ass off at Vegeta getting his shit wrecked.
"At this point, I think it's her taking it easy on you," Gajeel smirked.
Jellal found it weird how everyone seemed to be on the Android's side of the fight, but considering how Vegeta's behaved up to this point he's not surprised.
ANDROID 17: Hmm.
(Trunks and the others arrive on the scene)
"Aw! I wanted the Prince to get his ass kicked more," Minerva whined.
TRUNKS: Father, are you in there!?
VEGETA: (slurred from inside the mountain) Did anyone get the number of that bitch?
ANDROID 18: 18.
"Ah, good one," Mira giggled.
KRILLIN: You okay in there, Vegeta?
VEGETA: (slurred) Eat a dick.
"At least he's conscious enough to recognize Krillin," Lucy sweatdropped.
KRILLIN: Oh, okay, he's fine.
ANDROID 17: Oh, hey. Vegeta's little pals showed up. How 'bout it, 16, wanna go knock some heads?
ANDROID 16: No.
"Because they aren't Goku," Erza guessed the obvious.
ANDROID 17: Whatever, man. (starts walking up towards everyone else)
(Vegeta is seen walking out the side of the mountain)
TRUNKS: Father! Oh, thank God you're still alive! We have to get out of here now!
VEGETA: Are you kidding me? I have her right where I want her!
"How many concussions did she give you?" Erza gaped a bit. Even some of the most prideful mages she knows would admit they're beaten at this point.
TRUNKS: Do you live in your own little world?
"Yes he does," Everyone answered.
VEGETA: Yes. But unfortunately, I have to share it with all of you.
ANDROID 17: Actually, Vegeta, you don't have to share at all. You two seem like you're having fun, so I'd hate to have to interrupt. But if any of you decide to jump in and help MC Widow's Peak over there, I will personally introduce you to the ground. And trust me, your relationship will be intimate.
"Wait? Didn't Trunks say this is where they all get killed? They don't stand a chance if Vegeta can't beat one!" Lucy's words seem to bring the tension back into the room.
PICCOLO: Yeah, not exactly in a rush to help out Vegeta. I mean, maybe if it were Goku...
ANDROID 16: (off-screen) Did he say Goku?
"NO!"
ANDROID 17: Calm down, 16, he's not here.
ANDROID 16: (off-screen) But I heard him mention Goku.
"Your sensory things are just messed up!" Millianna said, hastily.
ANDROID 17: Just focus on your birds, buddy.
ANDROID 16: (off-screen) Acquiring birds. (scans for birds off-screen)
ANDROID 17: He likes birds now.
"I like birds too," Wendy said.
VEGETA: Can we stop talking about Kakarrot for just a minute?! I mean, for God's sake, he's never even around!
"For once I wish he was wrong," Erza massaged her temples.
PICCOLO: Sad thing is, he's not exactly wrong...
VEGETA: Now, if you'd like to continue this fight, I can finally get around to disassembling you, you smug c**t.
Silence takes over the guild as Vegeta drops the "C" word without hesitation. All together the women of the guild scream together.
"KICK HIS ASS!"
(shows Krillin, Piccolo, Tien, and Android 17's shocked reaction to Vegeta's insult. Android 18 is seen giving off a cold, flat stare.)
ANDROID 18: (sighs and brushes her hair with her hand) Yup.
(Android 18 charges at Vegeta and punches him into the air. Vegeta counters by headbutting her in the stomach and then knocks her into a mountain)
VEGETA: Let's see how you handle this! (fires a huge energy blast at her)
(The blast connects and blows up a chunk of the mountain. When the smoke clears, Android 18 is seen standing unharmed, but her clothes are all tattered up.)
The perverts of the guild wish that more of her clothes got burned off.
VEGETA: Does that ruffle you, android?
ANDROID 18: Well, you've managed to destroy my favorite slash only jacket and ruin my leggings. So, yeah... Ruffled's a good word.
"I feel her on such an emotional level," Lucy thinks back to all of the clothes that she lost in the past(Natu's fault most of the time).
VEGETA: Well, that was only a taste of my power. Now experience my Super Saiyan WRA-
(Android 18 cuts off Vegeta mid-sentence and proceeds to beat him up before sending flying into a boulder, causing him to gurgle in pain)
"So much for Super Saiyan wrath," Minerva mocked Vegeta's bravado.
ANDROID 18: How quickly bravado goes out the window when you're flat on your ass. That's pretty sad...
VEGETA: (powers up) Sad for YOUUUU-
(Android 18 flies forward and does a swift kick at Vegeta's left arm, causing him to squeal in pain as his left arm falls limply downward. Vegeta walks a few feet forward while holding his broken left arm and drops down to his knees.)
The only sound that could be heard in the guild is Minerva's loud laughter. Everyone else sat in silence at Vegeta's most humiliating defeat. Though, not one of them felt that bad about it. The Saiyan Prince had it coming big time.
VEGETA: FUUUU-
[ENDING SEQUENCE]
[STINGER]
(cut back to Goku's house with Goku still screaming in agony)
YAMCHA: Forty-nine... Fifty... Fifty-one... Fifty-two... Fifty- (Goku stops screaming) Damn, so close to a new record!
"Gotta stay busy somehow," Gray shrugged.
CHI-CHI: (from the other room) How's he doing in there?
YAMCHA: He's doing fine... (Goku resumes screaming) He's doing fine! Four... Five... Six...
"Let's hope for a world record!" Mira shouted.
"I bet I could beat it!" Natsu geared up to scream until Lucy shoved Happy's head into his mouth to shut him up.
Chapter End