36. Claire

Claire was surrounded by darkness, dense, and overwhelming darkness that made her feel uncomfortable. She felt like a slight chill run from the tips of her fingers to the top of her head. It was the kind of feeling he had about her when her body tried to warn her of danger. It took a couple of minutes for the woman to recover from the strange feeling of dizziness and exhaustion that she was feeling.

"So you saw it…"

Claire turned around and found her doppelgänger sitting cross-legged by her cerulean eyes staring at her with a stoic look. It was always strange to find herself looking at a younger version of her face. No matter how used she was to her presence.

Claire rubbed her temple and looked around her. Beside the place where she had woken up, everything seemed to be in darkness.

"This is inside my head, isn't it? Am I hallucinating this?" Claire asked softly. The answer was more than clear, but Claire wanted to be sure.

"Why do you ask what you already know?" The girl said with a playful smile, "No, you're not hallucinating this, but you are dreaming it."

"Dreaming it?"

"Can't you remember what happened?"

Claire didn't reply. She looked at her younger self, confused. She tried to recall what had happened before she had "woken" up in this sort of dream scenario.

"I was with Leon…"

"Ah, yes...dearest Leon…" younger Claire answered, stretching her legs and leaning back, "He sure has wrecked our world recently, huh? Then again, he always did. You can fool the world, but you can't fool yourself…"

Claire shook her head. She wasn't going to discuss her Leon situation with herself. She could be crazy, but that didn't mean she would discuss her own romantic life with a psychological projection of her subconscious.

Her younger version smirked.

"Of course, we are not here to talk about Leon, are we?" her young doppelgänger said, jumping up from her seat pacing around, "you saw them, right?"

"Those images..." Claire answered, holding her head, "I saw them, but I don't understand what they are..."

"We know what they are…Think about it..."

Claire bit her lower lip in thought. What were those images she kept seeing?

"Memories…" Claire said out of sudden, "Those are memories, aren't they?"

"Bingo!"

Her younger self began, they were surrounded by light, and Claire found herself standing in the center of the white corridor, again. Younger Claire was pacing around her playfully.

"Are you ready to remember them?"

But before Claire could answer, everything began to fade. It was like she was getting sucked through a wind tunnel; the speed made her feel sick and dizzy. She saw a bunch of images as she moved through the tunnel, and suddenly, Claire was pulled out of her dream.

The room was painfully brilliant when she opened her eyes. The familiar scent of sanitizer and filtered hair filled her lungs, and she let out a soft groan.

"Oh, welcome back with the living, Red."

"Uhg…" Claire replied, pushing herself up from the bed, "Oh, dear lord…"

Claire grabbed her head as a wave of nausea washed over her. She was feeling a little disoriented and lightheaded, and it took her a while to recognize her surroundings.

She was in the medical support area from the lab.

"Alright, easy there, wonder woman," Hiwamura said, helping her down again. "Not so fast."

"Uhg, how did I get here? What happened?"

"How else? Husband brought you," Hiwamura replied, checking the machines hooked to Claire, "you lost a considerable amount of blood and entered cardiac arrest. I'm giving you a transfusion, so you have to keep it slow for a bit."

"Oh, god, no…" Claire sighed, "How did that happen? Is Leon, alright?"

"Oh, you died for almost 2 minutes, and the first thing you ask when you wake is about the super-agent? Wow, that relationship sure is going well, huh?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I know you, Claire. I've seen those looks between you two and how you two keep touching each other when you think nobody is looking. If I didn't know you better, I'd think you two are sleeping together."

"What?" Claire said, pushing herself back up, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I said easy, didn't I? You had a seizure and lost quite an amount of blood. That gave agent Kennedy the scare of his life, I assure you, and that guy does seem like the sort of guy who doesn't get scared easily."

"Oh, shit…" Claire sighed, "Tell me he didn't call Chris…"

"I think the poor man was too much in shock to remember calling his brother-in-law…"

"Can you stop teasing?"

Hiwamura snorted. She began flipping through a datapad before looking at Claire again.

"Not a chance, but back to the serious stuff." Hiwamura said, putting on her professional face again, "We got the results for some of the tests I ran for you. In summary, they're not looking that peachy. The PRP is losing efficacy."

"Just great, so it is mutating."

"Not sure. The sequencing isn't ready yet, so it'd be speculation to say it has mutated."

"Give me those results, and I'll check on them."

"Sure, but you gotta rest first…"

"I'm peachy… what's a little lost blood, huh?"

"For the sake of your new relationship, I would suggest avoiding bleeds."

Claire rolled her eyes. If she hadn't lost so much blood, she would have turned as red as her favorite jacket.

"Fine...keep it quiet for now, would you? Leon and I need some time to work it out before we decide to make it public."

"My lips are sealed," Saya smiled, making a zipping gesture on her lips, "but...you gotta give me the hot details."

"What hot details? God, Saya… "

"Whatever. I'll take these new samples to the lab. I'll send your guy in. Don't worry, the room is private, so you two can cuddle and snog all you want…"

"Saya!"

If she hadn't been feeling so weak, she would have thrown her pillow at the young doctor's face. The teasing smirk on her face was making her extremely irritated. As soon as the Japanese woman had left the room, Claire pushed herself up slowly. A wave of dizziness hit her, but after a couple of minutes, she managed to get a hold of it.

Claire stepped down from the bed, and using the IV pole as a support, she managed to reach the working table and pick up the laptop. It wasn't her laptop, but she could at least use it to look at the data from tests Saya had mentioned. The woman typed her password and entered the lab server, and began surfing through the files. Suddenly, a piercing pain in her head made her groan.

You shouldn't be moving around if it hurts.

Claire looked up from the screen and saw her doppelgänger walking around the medicine shelves. Sometimes it was surprising how solid the girl looked. Claire let out an annoyed sigh and took the laptop back to the bed. At least the bed was more comfortable than the steel bench. Maybe she should consider getting some more comfortable chairs.

Are you giving me the silent treatment now? I thought we were getting along.

"This isn't a dream. I can't just have conversations with myself that openly."

That didn't stop us when we were there.

"There?"

Come on. Are you not remembering things?

"What are you not telling me?"

What am I not telling you?

Her hallucination laughed and then turned to look at her.

What I know, you know. It's just that you don't want to remember it.

Claire groaned as another sting of pain hit her. She looked at her doppelgänger standing against the medicine shelves.

It will come back piece by piece. You will see.

"I would have expected you to be resting, Claire…"

Leon stood at the door, looking at her with worry. He gave her an accusing look before closing the door, walking to the bed. His voice had caught her by surprise. She was getting so used to Leon's presence that she was starting to fail at noticing him.

"No rest for the wicked…" she replied, smiling.

Leo grabbed her hand and traced circles on it with his thumb. Something was comforting about his touch. Saya's words echoed in her mind, and Claire wondered if perhaps they had been a little careless at hiding the relationship.

"Sorry, I did scare you this time, didn't I?"

"You did… " he replied, sitting by her side. He looked like he wanted to hug her, and for a second, she thought he would. Perhaps he had thought of it better, and by the end, he had restrained himself. "You owe me one now. I'm not gonna hear the end of this in the office for the next couple of weeks."

" What?" Claire replied, confused. She put the laptop aside and turned to face him, "What do you mean?"

Leon chuckled, he put his hand on her cheek, and she leaned against it.

"I might have lost my "cool-headed" agent reputation because of you…" he said, caressing her cheek.

"Oh? Will I hear that story?"

"Maybe Helena will like to tell you. I am honestly not too proud of my image back then."

"Oh, do I hear the embarrassment in there?" Claire smiled, tapping his nose, "Don't worry, knowing you…it'll probably give you more points. You know girls like them sensitively."

"Oh, yeah? Talking for personal preference?"

"Ehm...half of it? I already knew you were sensitive. Don't forget that I saw you back, Racoon…" she replied, winking at him. Sometimes it was hard to imagine that the almighty agent that was right in front of her had once been a scared boy running and trying to survive a zombie apocalypse.

"Yeah, that wasn't my best look…"

"I thought you were rather hot like that, though..."

"You did?"

"Why do you think Chris is so jealous of you?"

"You told Chris that you thought I was hot? No surprise he wanted to gut me out the first time we met."

Claire let out a soft chuckle and kissed his cheek.

"Get used to it. That way you'll be prepared for when he finds out about us."

"I don't look forward to it, but I'll figure out a way to survive."

"That's the Leon I know…" Claire said, punching his arm,

Claire's color was starting to come back a little, not completely, but at least she wasn't looking like a corpse anymore.

"What were you looking at?"

"You know, the usual...sexy boys in swimming suits?"

"Very funny. Just don't forget you're still Mrs. Kennedy."

"Only paper…"

"Hey, who knows, maybe it is just for now…"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying," Leon shrugged.

Claire frowned. Leon couldn't be suggesting that they made the marriage permanent, could he? It was a crazy idea, but in her heart, a tiny flame of hope lit up.

The next morning, Claire was feeling almost as if nothing had happened the day before. As usual, she was feeling tired, and her lack of appetite had earned her a subtle glare from Leon. She felt a little bad about making Leon spend the night in the lab instead of in the comfort of his apartment. He had gone back to change and pick a fresh set of clothes for her, and after getting one last check-up with Saya, the pair headed to the DSO office building.

The auburn headed was sitting in front of her laptop, waiting for the program to finish loading the data sheets when she heard a knock on the office's door. She was alone since Leon had stepped out for a bit, and she was expecting Helena to show up eventually.

"Good morning. You look better…" Helena said, sitting in one of the chairs in Leon's office. The woman was holding two cups, one of which she friendly set in front of Claire, "I'm glad to see that…"

"Hey, good morning. Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you all," Claire apologized, "I don't know what happened yesterday…"

"That's fine, as long as you're okay. I thought you could use tea. I heard Leon said you skipped breakfast. Where's he, by the way? It's rare for him to leave you alone. "

" Ah, thank you. He just went to see Ingrid."

"Hunnigan? Weird, he usually just calls her…"

Claire just shrugged and kept looking through her files. If Helena was finding her reply lacking, the woman didn't complain at it. She clicked her tongue and crossed her arms over her chest in thought.

"So… No appetite?"

"Yeah, no…I am too dizzy to try to eat. I might throw up, anyway, so why even try?"

"Because you need food? Maybe?"

"It will pass in a while."

"Yeah, sure… Morning sickness can be annoying, huh?"

"Morning... what? What are you talking about?"

There was a soft gasp outside the door, and Claire heard several footsteps moving away in a rush.

"I should warn you that the Leon Fanclub might be a little ...annoying, for a while."

"Huh?" Claire replied cluelessly, "Why?"

"Well...you can blame Leon's over dramatic reaction from yesterday," Helena smirked.

"Oh, right...Leon did say you would tell me about that. What happened yesterday?"

"Well, you fainted and looked like you were bleeding to death, and Leon just...panicked."

"What? Leon never panics…" Claire snorted skeptically, "It's Leon, for god's sake."

"Exactly...he "never" panics..unless it is about you, apparently; the gossiping hasn't stopped, and any doubts about him "loving" his wife is now out of the question..." Helena smirked. She had heard those rumors, courtesy of Marie. Apparently, some people had been doubting Leon's real attitude about that sudden marriage.

"Well...it is a mission…"

"Yeah, anyway… I should give you a heads-up with the gossiping that's been going around since yesterday."

"Oh? Now what?"

"There's been some speculation that… Leon and you might be on the road of parenthood." Helena smirked.

"What? That's silly…"

"Not really… It's more plausible than you think. Theoretically talking"

" I believe there's a small technical detail for that to happen," Claire said, and she lowered her voice so that only Helena could hear her, "like, sleeping with him, for example? Babies don't grow on trees."

"Oh, well, I can guess that everyone takes that for granted, considering you two are…You know, married."

Claire pinched the bridge of her nose. From all things to happen, a rumor of pregnancy was the last thing she needed. She had underestimated the common etiology of the office environment.

"Well, great… So now I'm supposedly pregnant. Wait until Leon hears that. No, wait until Chris hears that"

"That would turn up interesting. Which brings me to another subject," she added, lowering her voice, " I'm glad he decided to choose you and not that backstabbing spy after all, but I would have liked to have known earlier so that I could congratulate you. "

Claire choked at the water that she had, so unluckily, decided to drink at that moment.

"Uh...excuse me?" Claire coughed, and Helena chuckled.

"Don't worry. I won't say a thing. Especially to your brother. That honor is purely reserved to Leon himself..."

"You ...you know?"

"Let's say that...after yesterday's show. It was quite obvious. Leon may be a good actor, but that was too heartfelt to be an act."

"Well, shit. You're the second person to catch on us..."

Were they really being so careless?

"No, not at all. I mean, if I hadn't seen Leon yesterday and known him as I do, I wouldn't have known either, but hey…" Helena smiled, "It's a good thing. God knows Leon needed some of it in his life. Someone stable and not, well, Wong."

"Yeah...well, define stable, because technically speaking, I seriously doubt I am."

She was carrying a mutating virus. What could be less stable than that?

"Health issues aside...I think you are just the right thing for him."

"Thank you...I guess?"

Claire chuckled nervously and turned back to her laptop. The sequences were ready. Her cerulean eyes scanned through the files with a frown. Her heart sank when she found what she was looking for among the letters on the screen. There had been a mutation; the virus inside her had changed. That explained why the PRP had suddenly stopped working when it had been doing well the past few weeks.

"Shit…"

"Something wrong?" Helena asked with a frown.

"Well...yes or no. I'm not sure yet."

"Okay, that wasn't very helpful."

"Sorry...just give me a minute."

Her blood cells were down; nothing new there, but at least there hadn't been any changes in the white cell counts. They would need another marrow aspiration to see if the tissue had suffered any alteration; other than that, it seemed like everything was okay. At least, she wouldn't be turning into a nasty monster for now. She'd need to see the results in the cell assays later.

"How is that vaccine doing?"

"Not too good. We already discarded the seventh formulation." Claire replied, typing down a quick message to Saya.

The doctor was in Terra Save now, but she wanted to update her on the subject. That way, they could brainstorm when they met later.

"Seventh? You two are really breaking your head with that, huh?"

"Yeah. These viruses are temperamental…"

If only Helena knew how true that was.

"Coming up with a vaccine may not be as easy as we thought." Claire sighed, "I'll think of something."

Claire began reviewing her data so far. The hostility of the secondary virus was alarming and extremely interesting at the same time, putting aside the fact that it was practically destroying her blood, of course.

"Sounds like a headache to me," Helena shrugged, "There's a reason I decided to become a field agent…"

"It's not that complicated to understand. Developing it is another story…" Claire smiled, "it's just that well..the situation isn't helping much the case."

"How come?"

"To make a vaccine, you need to understand the infective mechanism. To understand the infective mechanism, you need to understand the virus. Understanding one virus is complex enough; now, understanding two, whose infectious mechanism is co-dependent, is even harder. I am supposed to explain it at the meeting next week, and I still have no fucking idea."

Claire sighed and dropped her forehead against the table, making a loud thud. Sometimes her job was too frustrating.

"I don't think anyone will judge you for that. I doubt we would have anything if it wasn't for you…" Helena tried.

"Thanks for the cheer…"

Claire pushed herself up, but the sudden movement made her feel dizzy. The T-Phobos had caused her annoying symptoms, but most of them had been psychological and not physical. The two new strains in her bloodstream were breaking havoc in her body, and that made her even more frustrated.

"You okay?"

"Yeah...I just got up too quickly…." Claire replied, pinching the bridge of her nose, " I should go check on Marie. Want to join me?"

"Well, Leon would kill me if I let you out on your own."

"Leon is seriously starting to rival Chris…" Claire said, rolling her eyes.

"What can I say...Love is a serious thing."

Helena laughed, and Claire covered her reddening face. She needed to push away the topic, or she would die of embarrassment. The auburn headed looked out through the window; the skies were gray, and the temperatures were falling colder; a typical Christmas weather.

"I can't remember the last time I was around for a holiday…" Helena commented casually, "This might be the first time in ages that I'll be home for Christmas."

"I'm afraid you'll be stuck with me. I'm sorry you won't get to spend it with your family."

"Right now, you might be the closest thing to family I have…" Helena chuckled, "I only had my sister, Deborah, and she died three years ago. I don't have anywhere else to be."

"Wait, Deborah Harper?"

Helena looked at her, confused.

"Yes, that was my sister's name."

"Did she study nursing at Elk Valley University, by any chance?"

Helena looked surprised.

"Yes, she was in her third year. Did you know my sister?"

"Yeah. I met her when I went to give a lecture about viral emergency protocols. She was interested in TerraSave, so I invited her to work with us for a while as an intern. She left suddenly one day."

"Deborah told me she was working with some humanitarian organization. She was excited, but then Simmons came and ..."

"Oh, I'm sorry...I didn't mean to…"

"It's alright, but I can't believe you knew her."

"I guess the world is a small place."

"You bet it is..."

Helena sighed.

"I don't think you have had too many happy Christmases in the last few years, have you?" she asked Claire, and the auburn-headed shrugged.

"Christmas has all been Midnight and me in the office for a while. My brother is usually too busy or on the other side of the continent."

"Sounds rough."

"It's okay. It had its magic. Lonely Christmases makes you think. "

"These years are bound to be different, huh? I wonder if Leon will be ready for that?"

"How come?"

"I have reasons to think his apartment will be the official spot for Christmas this year."

"Oh...well, I suppose…." Claire said wide-eyed.

She'd grown so used to the lonely festivities that she had forgotten about them. It wasn't hard to forget them when you had to think about outbreaks, viruses, and terrorists, but Helena was right. Even though viruses and terrorists were still in her line of thought, there was a big change this year. All the people she considered family were in the same place, and things had been quiet for a while now. The idea of making a small "family" reunion didn't sound bad at all.

"Who are you calling?" Helena asked when Claire pulled out her mobile phone.

"I'm texting Jill…"

"Jill? You mean Valentine?"

"The same one…"

"Why?"

"I have a favor to ask…"