As soon as I woke, I gasped for breath.
I'd been dreaming about the memory we'd watched last night, and my body had responded in kind. Unlike Draco, I remembered everything — the way his skin felt against mine, the way his breath danced along my shoulder, the way his fingers had felt on my clit.
My hips were shifting, my body begging for attention in a way it hadn't in weeks.
Gods, we'd watched ourselves have sex so many times, but something about last night had felt different. It wasn't like the Valentine's memory where I'd gotten weepy or like some of the others where he'd gotten angry with me. No, this one had affected us both, and we'd been careless, exchanging touches and taking comfort from each other.
Before I'd even realised it, my hand had snuck under my t-shirt, moving towards my breast. My nipples were already hard and sensitive as I started teasing myself. There was a gentle pulsing between my thighs, each beat of my heart somehow reverberating in my clit. I closed my eyes again and he was all I saw.
Draco, on top of me, his silver eyes boring down into mine.
Draco, beneath me, his hands reaching up to touch me as I rode him, chasing my own pleasure.
His platinum head between my thighs, bringing me ecstasy.
In my bed, in Paris, in the shower, in the pool in Mykonos.
My other hand snaked down my body and tugged at my knickers, pulling them off. With a shaky inhale, I parted my legs and pressed a finger into my folds. I was wet, slick, hot — my desire overflowing. Slowly, I circled my swollen clit and shuddered. It had been such a long time since I'd done this on my own.
But it had also been a long time since I'd wanted to.
This morning, though, I was desperate for release. The way Draco had watched me last night as we ate our ice cream, his eyes focused on my mouth. The way his tongue had licked between his lips at the end, making sure he'd gotten every morsel of sugar.
Fuck.
Deep down, I knew I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be succumbing to my desire for him, but it felt so fucking good, and I kept at it.
As I rubbed myself and rolled my nipple between my fingers, my breathing grew heavier, turning into shallow pants. My heels were pressing into the mattress, allowing me to shift my hips just so. The sensations were overwhelming but my mind wouldn't quiet.
Draco, in The Leaky Cauldron, fucking me into the wall that first night.
Draco, making love to me in front of the fireplace in France, his eyes more intense than they'd ever been.
Draco's lips, moving up and down my body in a way no one else's ever had, wringing pleasure from even the most mundane of places.
I cried out in need and frustration.
My touch wasn't enough. My fingers weren't enough to get me there, even with as turned on as I was.
Rolling to my side, I opened my nightstand and pulled out my long-forgotten vibrator. I hadn't used it in years and thanked the Gods it was magically activated and didn't take batteries. With a murmur and a tap, it buzzed to life in my hand, and I moved it down between my thighs, pressing it to my clit.
"Fuck," I hissed and jerked away from the initial contact, the vibrations too much after such a long spell without them.
I tapped the end with my finger, making them slow to something more gentle before bringing it back to my clit. With a pleasurable sigh, my free hand drifted back up to pluck at my nipple.
My hips were rocking against the vibrator, creating friction on top of the buzzing, and I felt everything pulling tighter. My pleasure sharpened inside me, each sensation becoming more and more acute.
I had forgotten how good it felt to get off on my own, with no one watching, everything only for my pleasure. There was something freeing in it; I didn't need a man to make me feel this way.
Even if I was fantasising about one.
Behind my eyelids, I saw Draco; I was on my knees, looking up at him, and his head was tipped back in pleasure. When I thought about it, I could nearly remember the way he tasted, the way he slid between my lips, the way his hands felt tangled in my hair...
And, at the memory of him coming undone, completely at my mercy, I shook with pleasure for the first time in nearly a month.
I hadn't even needed to slip the vibrator inside of myself, had barely needed to try.
After a minute of rest, I started again, wanting more than just one orgasm. The second one took longer, required more fantasising and different sensation, but when my back arched in pleasure, it was so intense that I nearly sobbed.
As I lay in my bed panting and trying to slow my heart rate to something resembling normal, my magic hummed in satisfaction. Or maybe my soul.
Whichever it was, I was happy I had given in.
And I was sure I'd do it again.
After a long shower, I got dressed in clothes that were out of season for July — jeans and a long-sleeved purple shirt — to ensure my skin was fully covered. Over the past few days, Draco and I had started touching each other more freely, and it would be foolish to risk contact.
The memory I had planned for tonight was going to be the hardest one yet, and I knew he'd likely be reaching out to comfort me. With each scene we watched, Draco and I had been getting closer, seemingly forgiving each other. I honestly hadn't thought it possible; he'd been so angry with me that I thought he'd never get past it.
This walk down memory lane was painful, yes, but it was also helping both of us heal. I no longer had to worry that he'd find out about our history, and he didn't feel confused about his past. Every loose end was slowly knitting together, the memories closing all the gaps.
The more I thought about it, the more I realised that we were quickly approaching the end of what I'd wanted to show him.
My stomach dropped.
Tonight's memory and two, maybe three, more.
How had it all gone by so fast?
What would happen at the end of all this? Would he just take the rest of his memories and leave, never to be seen again? Or would he want to be friends?
Letting out a laugh, I shook my head at my own stupidity. Who was I kidding?
We could never be just friends.
And as for more... He and Astoria were getting a divorce, and Blaise had left. Penelope and I had been trying to sort through my emotions, but they were even more cloudy and confused than they'd been before. I still felt something for him — something strong and serious and real — but I didn't know what that meant for us long-term.
So many things that I'd believed — that he'd been lying to me about sleeping with Astoria, that he hadn't really been trying to get a divorce — had been untrue, so I'd mostly forgiven him at this point. I felt like I could trust him again.
And, given his anger at himself, I knew this whole experience had changed him. He knew the way he'd treated both Astoria and me had been wrong.
However, since I'd Obliviated him, I couldn't see him ever trusting me again, regardless of what Penelope believed. I couldn't fault him for that, either. He had every right to distrust me.
But there were little glimpses of something between us, like the way he always wanted to comfort me or the way he'd started opening up to me again. And he'd brought Scorpius to my house.
Why?
Why would he bring his son to my house, ask me to get James and Sev, and stay for a whole evening if he was just going to disappear after all of this?
Pansy had insisted Draco wouldn't have made that decision lightly, that he wanted to see how I interacted with Scorpius.
Even though I knew I shouldn't, I couldn't help but wonder if I'd passed whatever test he'd set for me that night. I'd let Scorpius come to me and treated him just like James and Sev. We'd all enjoyed the night.
Taking a deep breath, I started plaiting my hair, wanting to keep it out of my face for the majority of the day. Mentally, I went over my to-do list. I had most of the day to myself since I wasn't seeing Penelope and wasn't due to start work for a few more days.
Instead of dwelling on what I thought I should be doing, I forced myself to grab one of the many books I'd been meaning to read and get out for the day. Even if I didn't go further than my own garden, I'd still be outdoors, and that was something I needed.
As soon as I was ready, I cast a cooling charm over myself to keep the heat at bay and stepped outside, my face tilting up towards the sun. Reaching into my bag, I grabbed my sunglasses and slid them on.
Slowly, I started walking down the path I'd taken so many times before, heading towards the little village. This time, I didn't feel haunted by the memories of all the times Draco and I had done this together. Somehow, over the past week, everything had seemed easier for me.
When the cafe came into view, I remembered the first time I'd visited after the Obliviation. I'd felt so hopeless, like things would never be right with the world again, but today, it was all different.
I felt like everything might just end up okay.
Even if Draco didn't want anything to do with me after we got through the memories, I was getting the closure that I hadn't the first time around. Would it hurt to lose him again?
Absolutely.
But I already knew I could survive it.
As usual, I went into the cafe first, ordered coffee and a pastry with a smile. Looking to the barista, I said, "Is the deck busy in the afternoons?"
She shook her head. "Not lately."
"Thanks," I said, grabbing my iced latte from the counter.
I walked outside and sat at the same table I had nearly two years ago, feeling the sun on my face, and closed my eyes, just enjoying the summer day. After a few minutes, I opened them again and rummaged in my bag, looking for my book. As soon as I took it out, I cracked the spine and settled in to read.
After a few hours, I made my way back home to prepare for Draco's arrival.
I had to pull the memories from the depths of my mind; unlike some of the others, this one had to be mine. I had to show him how I'd waited and waited for him, how heartbroken I'd been before he even arrived and shattered my whole world. Just thinking about it made my throat tighten and my stomach twist into knots.
As I paced around the house, completing mundane tasks like folding laundry by hand or rearranging books on the shelves, I tried to calm my nervous energy. For the most part, I was able to keep the worst of it at bay.
When my Floo activated early, I turned around and saw Harry standing there, surveying the state of my living room. He knew I cleaned when I was feeling stressed and out of control.
I walked over and hugged him tightly.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, smiling.
He looked at me sceptically. "I came to check in on you. I know you came by to kidnap the boys, but we really haven't talked about how you're doing lately."
Biting my cheek, I thought about what I should say. "I've been going through memories with Draco every night this week, except Monday."
"And Wednesday, but you were with him that night, too."
I knew he was fishing for information and worrying that I was falling back into old patterns. "Harry, it's not what you think—"
He held up his hand. "I don't need you to explain anything or try to reassure me that nothing's going on between you and Malfoy. I just wanted to make sure that you're okay."
"I'm fine," I answered, and I was surprised at how true that was. Yes, I was nervous about the memory I was showing Draco tonight, but other than that, I felt better than I had in quite some time. "You're more than welcome to stay until he gets here. I'm pretty anxious."
"Why?" Harry asked.
"We're going to be watching the night he told me Astoria was pregnant," I replied, my hands twisting together. "I just, it's hard. It's probably going to be the hardest out of all the memories we've seen."
"I can't believe you're almost through the entire relationship already," he said, his eyes wide. "You've really gotten through a lot in a short time."
"Honestly, it feels like it's taken forever."
Sitting down on my sofa, he laughed. His legs stretched out in front of him, reminding me of the way he used to slouch in the Gryffindor common room. "And how are you feeling, Hermione? Really?"
"Confused," I admitted, resuming my pacing. "Like I've been making mistake after mistake for years, and now I just... Harry, he never lied to me. He was trying to get a divorce for nearly six months by the time I Obliviated him and only slept with Astoria on their anniversary."
"But he never told you he was trying to get a divorce, right?"
"He just kept telling me to give him time and I didn't know what to make of it. He always said things like 'we'll be together next Christmas' and kept it vague. I thought he was just making it all up to make me feel better."
Harry looked at me and said, "It went on for so long that I don't blame you for thinking he was lying. You need to stop blaming yourself. If he had a solicitor working on it, he should've talked to you properly and told you exactly what was going on."
My heart cracked.
"Or I should've had the guts to ask him about it. Or demand it." Sighing, I added, "But, even if I'd known, I wouldn't have wanted him to leave Astoria after she was pregnant. It would have been so cruel."
"He never loved her," he began gently. "It would've been his decision to make, Hermione."
"But—"
"If he'd left her, would you have refused him?"
Worrying my lip, I thought about it for just a few moments. "Maybe initially, but I don't think I would've been able to indefinitely. Draco is nothing if not persistent."
"Exactly," Harry answered. "Stop beating yourself up. You made mistakes, and I know they were big ones, but you need to let it go and move on."
With a dramatic sigh, I flopped down next to him on the couch.
"Even if he didn't lie, he still slept with her. I know it's ridiculous, but that still bothers me."
Harry squeezed my hand. "It's not ridiculous at all. He might've been legally married to her but, from what you've told me, you're his soulmate and he knew that. He should've been faithful to you."
When I didn't answer, he said, "For what it's worth, I don't think anything like that will ever happen again. The situation you were in, it was a mess, and I don't think that either of you knew what to make of it."
I squeezed my eyes shut; he was right. In fact, mess might not have been a strong enough word.
"I'm worried that he won't ever trust me again," I admitted, knowing that Harry wouldn't judge me. "I don't think he'll be able to look at me the way he used to."
"You don't know that."
"How could he, though?"
Tugging me closer, he wrapped his arms around me. "He's loved you for over a decade in one way or another. Now that he knows you loved him back, how could he not look at you the same way?"
"He knows I'm not the perfect woman he imagined in his head now. I took his memories and I was dating his best friend, and—"
"Listen, I'm not saying that you should jump back into something with him immediately, Hermione. Hell, I'm not even saying that you should do it at all. That's for the two of you to decide together."
The two of us.
When I'd Obliviated him, I'd made the decision on my own, leaving him out of it entirely. It had been the wrong choice, and we'd both suffered.
Since he could tell I was thinking, Harry continued speaking. "I'm sure it's going to take time, but if you want a second chance, you need to tell him and keep showing him that he can trust you. I had to convince Pansy that I wasn't looking for some weird kind of revenge. The Parkinsons and the Malfoys and all those old families, they don't let new people in easily."
I felt tears — ridiculous, traitorous tears — welling in my eyes, and I blinked them away. "That's exactly why he won't be able to trust me. He did let me in and I essentially threw it all away."
"But he's here now, and he's been showing up every night," he replied encouragingly. "Keep being open and honest with him."
"I have been, for the most part," I replied, my voice wavering. "It's just so complicated."
Before Harry could say anything else, Draco came through the Floo, his fringe falling into his face. He was wearing a long-sleeved jumper, much like I was, and I wondered if he'd chosen it for the same reason.
"Potter," he greeted, nodding to Harry first. "And Granger. How are you tonight?"
Draco's eyes fixed on the way I was cuddled up to Harry, but they weren't filled with jealousy. He knew Harry and I were like siblings, never even tempted to fall into a romantic relationship.
Releasing me, Harry started to stand. "Doing well. I just wanted to check in on Hermione before I headed home for the evening. Come over later on if you need anything, okay Hermione?"
I nodded and said, "I think I'll be fine, but I'll let you know either way."
In just a few paces, Harry was standing beside Draco, shaking his hand. "How's Astoria doing?"
"As well as can be expected, given the circumstances. It seems like the potions she started are already helping a bit. She and I are going to sit down and discuss some things tomorrow, and then I'll want to talk to you about my schedule."
Harry shook his head. "Don't even worry about that. Whatever you need, we'll sort it out. There's another trainee class finishing up now."
"Thank you," Draco replied. "I don't anticipate there will be much change, but I wanted to warn you, even if we're not at the Ministry right now."
Waving him off, Harry reached for the Floo Powder. He glanced over his shoulder. "Remember, if you need anything—"
"Go home," I said, rolling my eyes. "I'll come by if it's not too late."
When he'd gone, Draco's attention landed on me. I could feel the weight of his stare, and his eyes threatened to scorch my skin.
"Everything okay?" he asked, moving towards the sofa and sitting at the opposite end.
"Really, I'm fine. Harry just worries about me all the time now," I replied, tucking myself further into my corner. "I told him what memory we're watching."
His cheeks blushed a little, and it made my heart clench. It was clear he was feeling at least a little guilty.
"Are we watching my memory or yours?"
"Well, I was thinking we could split it if you want to see what really happened when Astoria told you. I have the original memory, not the one she had me replace with a fantasy."
"Have you watched it?" he asked quietly.
"Partially," I admitted, looking him in the eyes. "I had to make sure some things were consistent with the original—"
"We might as well, then. I suppose our interactions will probably make more sense if I see how I react to Astoria first," Draco said in a rush, noticing the vial on the table in front of us. "Is that it?"
Nodding affirmatively, I moved forwards and reached for the vial. "Are you okay if we just get started?"
"That's fine with me."
I tipped his memory into the Pensieve and waited for him to touch the surface, but he only looked down into the silvery depths. He and Astoria were visible, likely standing in their bedroom, and his eyes squeezed shut. After steeling himself, his fingers grazed the liquid, taking him into the memory. A second later, I followed, landing beside him before they'd begun speaking.
Memory Draco was quickly walking around the room, removing his tie and cufflinks, while Astoria sat on the bed and watched him. She was upset — I could see it on her face — but she didn't stop him right away.
"I've got to go meet Blaise," Draco said, feigning a smile. "He wants to take me for a few drinks tonight. Last year, we ended up in Prague when he said 'a few drinks' so I don't know when I'll be back—"
Astoria, already resting one hand over her perfectly flat abdomen, moved closer. "I was hoping you'd stay home. I had a whole evening planned for us." When she reached him, her free hand landed on his belt buckle and he instinctively jumped back, recoiling. "I have something I really wanted to tell you."
Swallowing hard, he kept moving away, heading towards the closet. "I don't want to cancel on my best mate at the last minute, Astoria. This has been our tradition for years."
"Gods, why didn't I just tell her? It would've been easier than lying like this," present Draco stated, keeping his eyes on Astoria's reactions. She was growing more and more angry with every rebuff, and I couldn't blame her for it.
When memory Draco turned, he shucked off his normal formal robes and Astoria's eyes raked over him. Before she could touch him, he pulled a clean white button-down on and immediately started closing the front.
"Did you not hear a word I said, Draco?" she asked impatiently, the beginnings of her ire clear. "There's something we need to discuss."
At her tone, he stopped buttoning his shirt and looked at her. "I'm already late. Can't we discuss it tomorrow?"
"No, we absolutely cannot. I've been waiting for your birthday specifically," she said, trying to sound less angry. "It's a wonderful gift."
"Gift?" memory Draco asked, confused. "You didn't have to get me anything."
A storia sighed. "I didn't buy you anything. Can we please just talk for a moment?"
Present Draco and I watched as the guilt washed over his features. He was eager to get to memory Hermione's house, but he nodded, moving to sit on the edge of their bed.
"I'm sorry. I just didn't want to be late. Blaise is expecting me."
"You've said that already. Just stop," Astoria said, her voice shaky. "If it's possible, you've been even less present since our anniversary, so I'm nervous enough as it is."
Memory Draco looked down at the floor for just a second, likely collecting himself and getting his emotions reined in. When his eyes met hers again, she tentatively reached for his hand and he didn't pull away. I could see his discomfort, though. His shoulders were stiff and his eyes were hollow, all his walls up to prevent Astoria from seeing how much he didn't want her to touch him.
"I don't really know how to say this," she began, her hand shaking as it held onto his, "but we... conceived."
It was awkward and neither of them spoke for a second.
Then, Astoria pressed his hand to her abdomen. "I'm pregnant, Draco."
"What?" he choked out, pulling his hand away. "No, you can't be. It's—"
"I am," she interrupted. "I've been to see Healer Avery."
Memory Draco shot to his feet. "How?"
Astoria's lips parted, but nothing came out.
"How?" he repeated, his hysteria growing.
She watched as he started to pace, his fingers tangling in his hair and tugging. He muttered to himself and his face was flushed with anger.
"Draco—"
"What happened to your potion?"
Putting on a show, her eyes dropped to the floor. Both of her arms snaked around her own waist protectively. "I don't know. Maybe I missed a dose? I'm not sure."
"You're not sure?" memory Draco snapped. "How could you forget something like that?"
"It's not like we were having regular sex," she said icily, narrowing her eyes at him. "It wasn't at the front of my mind."
"Preventing pregnancy wasn't at the front of your mind? I'm not ready for a fucking child, Astoria!"
Quickly, his walls were crumbling down as he realised the implications of the situation, what he'd have to do next. Doubling over, he choked out what might have been a sob, and Astoria approached him cautiously. When her hand landed on his shoulder, he straightened and pulled away.
"Do not touch me," he snapped, glaring at her. "How could you be so careless?"
I glanced over at present Draco and noticed that he was clenching his fists, his pale skin blanching even more over his knuckles. On top of the anger, I could see the signs of his embarrassment. He'd treated her so poorly and, while we now knew that she'd ensured this pregnancy, it was still hard to watch.
"We w-wanted to have ch-children," Astoria stuttered, tripping over her own words. "It's just a l-little early—"
Memory Draco slapped a hand on the chest of drawers he was standing beside. "We didn't discuss this! We didn't discuss starting a family!"
"But of course you want an heir—"
"I am NOT my father!" he bellowed, his eyes dark with anger. "I couldn't care less about my cursed fucking bloodline!"
Astoria's tears broke free, spilling down her cheeks, and memory Draco growled in frustration.
"I can't do this," he muttered. "I can't stay here."
"Draco!" she cried, reaching out for him.
"I already told you not to touch me, Astoria. I meant it," he snarled. "I'm going out."
"We need to talk—"
"No, we don't. Not tonight," he said before storming out of their bedroom and down the stairs into the kitchen.
He kicked the umbrella holder next to the door, putting a dent in it, and slammed his fist against the counter. The lights pulsed in time with his heartbeat, his magic slipping out of his control.
Without touching it, the door that led out to their back garden flew open and he stepped out, slamming it behind him. Half a second later, he Disapparated, landing in the alleyway behind The Leaky Cauldron. As soon as his feet hit the ground, he leaned against the brick wall and covered his face with his hands.
Tears — real, angry tears — slipped from his eyes and he dashed them immediately, clearly horrified at first. But, when they kept coming, he gave in. When a sob escaped his throat, he Silenced himself and then turned to face the wall. Angrily, his left hand slapped the bricks over and over as he tried to steady his breathing.
"Oh, for Salazar's sake," present Draco groaned, looking over at me. "Can we move this along? I'm clearly throwing a tantrum—"
"Don't," I interrupted, halting his words. "Please don't poke fun at this situation or be embarrassed, Draco. I won't—I can't stand the thought."
He swallowed hard. "Hermione, this... It hurts."
Nodding in agreement, I replied, "I know. It hurts me, too."
Present Draco stepped closer, allowing his covered arm to touch mine. We were standing close. So close I could feel his body heat through his jumper. So close the tingles that signalled his magic reaching for mine had begun.
Turning my head, I glanced over and noticed that he was breathing at the same rate that I was. He felt my stare and started to angle his head down to meet my eyes.
And then we were thrown from the Pensieve.
Immediately, I panicked and tried to grab the vial I'd placed my own memory in, knocking it over.
"I forgot," I said stupidly. "I forgot to add mine. I didn't want to miss anything and—"
His hand wrapped around my forearm, his thumb stroking the sleeve of my shirt. "It's fine, Hermione. Really. Take a minute to calm down."
My anxious rushing and rambling immediately ceased, soothed by his touch and patience. I took a deep breath and allowed him to ground me. I closed my eyes and just breathed, letting the tingles course over my skin while I inhaled the air we were sharing.
Once again, we were close — too close — but I couldn't force myself to tug my arm free or step away.
When my eyes opened again, I saw he was watching me warily.
"Are you okay?"
I nodded, reaching for the memory again. "Much better now."
Holding onto my memory, I looked down into the basin of the Pensieve, seeing memory Draco and Astoria once more.
"Can you transfer that back into the vial?" I asked, not wanting to watch it again.
Draco must have felt the same way. "I was so cruel to her. I know what she did was wrong, but that was... cold."
"You were like that because I let this keep carrying on," I responded hesitantly. "If I hadn't been in the picture—"
"Stop apologising. You're not responsible for my actions, Hermione. We both chose to sleep together. We both fell in love," he said, interrupting me once more. "Once you were in the picture, I wouldn't have let you go."
I knew he was right, so I didn't respond. His hand left my arm and my nervous energy immediately came back.
Siphoning the memory out of the Pensieve with his wand, he slowly transferred it back to the vial.
"I know I wanted to put all the blame on you when I first found out, but that was horrible of me. This whole situation was a tangled mess. My father, Astoria, you, Blaise, and me... We all turned our lives into a disaster in one way or another."
I looked over at him.
"Now, let's get this over with and we can talk more afterwards," Draco said, his eyes pleading. "I know we'll likely have a lot to discuss."
"Okay," I replied, dropping the memory into the bottom of the Pensieve. "Let's get it over with."
AUTHOR'S NOTE: You might have noticed an end chapter count on AO3. This is subject to change - I've just been getting a lot of questions about how long the story will be and wanted to put something there. If anything, I think it will be a few more chapters, so this is the minimum.
Also, since this chapter ended the way it did... I'm going to put the next chapter up next week instead of making you wait two weeks. Just know that I split it here for a reason. *wink*
I'll let you know next week where we're going from there.
Thank you all so much for reading.