I'd not smelled food this good in such a long time. Too long.
But only the best for Emperor Mede II of Cyrodiil.
It's been all the talk around the city for a long while.
High King Torygg and his wife Elisif had the pleasure of greeting the Emperor as he disembarked from the ship four days ago, and here on his last night, a feast has been prepared in the Blue Palace.
Being a handmaid in the palace only for a few days, I was so excited to see the Emperor ride into town with his escort of guards and fellow nobles.
On just a few short occasions, I could actually see the man himself.
The rich blue and purple robes hung from his body as he sat at the dining table, a thick pelt of fur cushioned his neck from around the collar. His elderly but strong hands were covered in gold rings.
Every bit the image of an estimated royal.
And yet, I was sent from the Palace during the feast. I and a few other maids were sent with an armed patrol to the barracks.
While the emperor dined at the palace, I was to serve other guests in the stronghold.

I took the tray from the head chef and made my way up the stairs.
I felt so many eyes on me. Since learning the emperor was coming, I've been preparing myself for weeks for this.
But the guards were scary. I felt the heat of their eyes on my every move as I climbed the stairs to the top room.
I knocked on the door and made my way inside.
"Your supper, my lord…" I place the tray down on the side table.

"Thank you kindly" The elderly nobleman stood at the window, looking over the dark city below. He made a surprised face when he finally saw me.

"You're quite young, are you a new maid of the palace?"

"I am, actually" I did a curtsey for him.

"No need to be so timid, you're doing fine" He made his way over and sat at the table to begin his meal.

"W-would you like some wine?" I offer, preparing a bottle.

"That would be nice"

I looked over my shoulder as I poured for him. The door was closed already. Since we had the privacy we needed, I made my way behind him as he reached for his drink.
"Just relax, my lord…" I gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Most relax at this part, but he didn't.

"Please, just let me eat in peace,"

"Would if I could…" I sighed.
My arm pulled him in by his neck, closing his windpipe. I made his death painless with one quick blow to the heart as my powers dulled his sense of self.
He seemed like a nice person. But unfortunately for Titus Mede the second, a kill was paid for, and although the decoy staying in the Blue Palace may have been enough to fool everyone else, it wasn't enough to fool the Night mother.

The door knocked seconds before opening.
My last bat had escaped through the window without being seen. No alarm was raised until I'd already reformed on the streets below and walking away from another perfect assassination.

Chapter 57.
(The following takes place during the end of chapter 16)

When it comes to my targets, I try to keep it strictly impersonal. I kill someone, I move on.
For a while, that worked.
But I've discovered that if I spend time with them, learn to hate them with a boiling passion. I sleep so much easier the following night.

I knew that boy in Windhelm said this woman was nasty, but this is above and beyond what I expected.
I've listened to children cry. I've been the subject of beatings myself. But this foul woman, lining us up for a whipping and making us watch the ones before us is just disgusting.
I winced when I watched Samual take those strokes with the cane, I shared Runa's fear knowing she'd be after me.

"Straight to bed, boy"

Having received the word to go, Samual pulled his britches back up over his red stricken skin and ran sobbing to the boy's room.

Then Grelod's eyes fell on me with scorn.
"Your turn," She grabbed me by the arm and threw me over the table. I obediently raised my dress up my waist and took the forty-seven strokes.
More than anyone else, not even a round number. With me, she just keeps going until she's satisfied, or too tired. The latter in this case.

No matter how hard she hit me, even when she managed to make me scream, my skin would never show a mark. She never quite understood why that was, but it always annoyed her.
The only satisfaction I get is the rare occasion when trying to wear me down makes her arm too tired to do the others as bad.
I've only been here three days, spending a little more time to soak up the sour poison this woman inflicts on the children she 'cares for' every day, just waiting to give it all back.
Tonight, I think will be her last. I'll make sure I'm the last thing she sees.

I lay in bed until the orphanage was dark. The two girls sharing a bed with me were still whimpering, crying themselves to sleep just like the others in their own beds.
I placed a hand on their heads, using just a little of my power to dull their senses, making the pain lesser.

Samual and the other boys were surprised to see me, scared even. We're not allowed in the other's room. A lesson I learned the hard way on my first day.
"don't make a sound…" I pushed their heads back down, letting my vampire magic do its thing.
Soon the children were all hushed for the night.
My spell will wear off in a few minutes of me stopping, but once already asleep they'll be able to ignore the persisting pain.
Now to visit one last room.

Grelod the Kind. I softly walked by her bed as I reach for her beating stick.
Even sound asleep, her face was that of a grumpy old sow.
I jumped up on the bed, straddling her chest as my hand clamped down on her mouth.
Her eyes shot open, looking into mine as I smiled back to her.
"still awake?" I tutted with disapproval. "that's awfully bad. you get the cane for staying up past bedtime…"

She struggled, pulled and flailed under my weight. But she was as old as she is nasty, so even my ten-year-old body was too much for her.
Loosening one hand, the beating stick slid about halfway down.
One flex of my fingers was enough to snap it into two pointy ends.

"Before I kill you, I feel I should thank you for all you've done for me. Your kindness made this my easiest contract in recent memory, Hail Sithis"
I slowly pushed the sharpened stick into her neck.

It took some force to break the skin. There was a lot of resistance in her arms and body, trying to throw me off. But once her blood started pouring out, she lost all hope of escape.
Still, I didn't stop pushing the stick further in until I watched the lights fade from her eyes.

Once the deed was done, I dismounted her and shook some blood from my hand.
I seem to recall that making a mess of your bed also constituted a beating, but I think she's had enough for tonight.

Regardless, I still have this blood-covered hand. Might as well use it.

I took a handkerchief from Grelod's dresser and pressed my hand against it. The blood dried into the fabric leaving a nice mark, after which I licked my fingers clean.

With a sense of satisfaction and a fresh kill to add to my list, I marched out the front door and walked to the Thieves' den entrance.
"Well well, Bratty Betty of the Broody Brotherhood. Aren't you supposed to be in bed at this time?"

Hearing that voice puffed my face up.
"Shut it Delvin!" I yelled, pointing a finger at him as though it were a sword.

The Breton thief threw his hands in the air, pretending to surrender as he approached me.
"Easy now lass, you better watch that mouth before you earn yourself another lashing from Grelod"

I looked away to hide my face.
I thought I was careful, I thought for sure no one outside the brotherhood knew I was here.
Delvin might have learned I had a contract, but he didn't know who the mark was. At least, I didn't tell him.
"Grelod won't be beating anyone else…" I assured him. But back to business. "You have our money?"

"Aye" He tossed a small coin purse to me.

The runaway who wanted Grelod killed could only offer an heirloom as payment. In cases like that, the brotherhood consults the thieves for an exchange.
But I tossed the purse back.
However much was in there, killing Grelod was my treat.
People say there's no honour among thieves, however, if I ask Delvin to make sure the money is spent on filling those children with cake, he'll make it happen.

"Well aren't you a sweetheart?" Devlin slipped the money back into a pouch on his leather vest.

"That is how Papa raised me…" I beamed the same cheery smile so many others have seen before their life ends. "Speaking of whom, can you see to it that he gets this? I don't really care when"
I handed over the bloodstained cloth.
It's been so long since father's been on my mind so predominantly, and even longer since I've seen him in person. If I were to see him right now, I don't know what I'd say.

But lately, for some reason I don't understand, I can't get my father out of my head. I think I miss him. I miss our family.

But in many ways, the Dark Brotherhood is my family now. The odd new face would look down on me as a child but those in the know treat me with much more respect. At the very least, they don't lie to me. I'm trusted with all the secrets.
Our Matron, Astrid. She sees me for who I am. She respects me.

"This is sweet, Babette. Really"

"Huh?"

Delvin had opened the cloth, staring at the mark I'd left.

"Niik's heart will melt like butter when he sees this"

"Sh-shutup…" If I could do one thing over, I'd probably have had Father change me ten or so years later than he did.

This child's body of mine makes luring some of my victims very easy and makes even more lower their guard. But nontargets brush me off with snarky comments, even ones who are meant to be friends.

"I'm going now!"

"wait… There is something I need to tell you, it's important"

"If you apologise to me again, I'll-"

"It's about Niik" Delvin walked up to me, took a knee and set his hand on my shoulder. "Your father's in the sanctuary right now"

"He is?" I pulled away, thinking about the quickest way to escape. I wasn't ready to see him yet. I can't. "Does, does he know I'm here?"

"Only I know you're here. I've kept it that way"

I let out a deep breath of relief.
"Thank you…" I kept my eye on the secret entrance to the den. If I hear it opening, I'm scattering.

"I think you should come down. Niik's been poisoned by something, there's this woman with him. A vampire, I've not seen her before, but she was in town a few days ago"

"a vampire… What's she doing with him?"

"She brought him to us, asleep. He's under some spell to keep him that way until the poison wears off"

"Someone could do that to him?" She must be either immensely powerful, or he trusts her a lot. "What's she like?"

"She's beautiful…"

I smacked him across the mouth so hard that he fell back across the ground.

"Sorry… That was insensitive of me…" He held his jaw, looking up at me with remorse. "I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry…"

"Stop apologizing!" I spat. "Just give my father the letter and feed those orphans!" Before he could get another word in, my swarm scattered over the town of Riften, landing me atop of the Temple of Mara.

There I sat, looking over the dark and quiet streets. The moon was quite bright. Occasionally, a passing patrol of guards would shine a torch over the road.
"stupid Delvin…" Every time I see him, he confesses his guilty feelings to me. Every time before this I would actually forgive him, but that would never stop him from apologising to me again the following meet.
It's not his fault. Unlike me, he actually was just a young lad when we met.
In vampire and human terms, I was the older of us.
Surrounded by people several heads taller than myself at the Assassin Den, it was nice to find this runaway thief to talk to.

His pathetic attempts at impressing me were annoying at first, but he wore me down to finding them endearing. By the time he learned I was a vampire, he was beyond caring about what I was and had no fear of me. He saw me for me, and I liked that.
I'd never felt a kinship like that before, especially not with a boy. The few years we had were nice.

But, years went by like weeks, but Delvin outgrew me. He asked the guild leader at the time for the right to leave and join our sister guild.
Once he was gone, I felt alone all over again. To make it worse, I'd hear them talking.
Some of the newer assassins. The ones who didn't mock Delvin were mocking me instead, staying stuff like he went looking for a girl who isn't a walking breadboard.

Funny stuff to be sure. Almost as funny as the ten milligrams of Jarrin root I slipped in their drinks. Not enough to kill them, but one did faint from blood loss when they went out for piss that night, having just learned an important lesson about annoying established alchemists with a talent for posion.
Even now I get a chuckle out of it.

With the sun getting ready to rise, I slid through an open window to the temple with the intent of staying hidden for the day.
I can return to the guild at dusk. Let Astrid know the target is dead when I get there.
However, the temple wasn't as quiet as I was expecting.
I heard groaning, coughing, people calling for help.
Curious, I snuck across the attic flooring, peaking through the cracks to see into the temple.

Pale and frail, there were weak men and women lying on the floor with fine stab marks all down their arms. But there were city guards in the room trying to make arrests on the sick.
"This man has been wanted for murder for years, you cannot harbour him"
"Please, this is a place of prayer and healing," Said the Priest. "If these men must face justice, so be it. But we must first make sure they're not infected with sanguinare vampiris"
The guards looked at the sick, then backed away.
"Do you have enough to cure them?"
"Perhaps, but it'll help if we had more ingredients more chitin and vampire dust"
"We'll inform the alchemist and get you what you need"
The guards left, and the priest and priestesses continued with their work of trying to heal any contaminated blood.

I sat against the support beams, curled up listening to them work.
Hawk feathers, Chitin, and vampire dust. Just some of the ingredients needed to cure heartache, but only if you're fast enough.
I sat alone in the dark, staring through the floorboards as the men and women below me performed miracles of life and death on people who apparently don't even deserve it.

Dawn turned to mid-morning, and the temple doors crashed open yet again as a familiar face was pulled on a wooden board and laid out for the priest to examine.

"Mara guide us… How are the children? Are they…?" The priest asked.
"They're shaken up, but the attendant is taking care of them…" Answered the guard.
"I can only imagine how devastated they must be…" The priestess prayed for the children's loss.

I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing. If only they knew the bitch had it coming. The children are probably black flipping across the room right now.

Morning turned to Noon, the guards returned and carried some of the weak men out by their wrists and ankles to bring them to jail.
Noon turned to Dusk, and some of the weak had woken up and were eating food from holy servants. Those who passed were taken away for burial in the graveyard along with Grelod.

Seeing her pale body be carried out brought me back to the present. I'd spent so long observing the healers that I lost track of how much time had passed.
I have to inform Astrid that Grelod is dead.
But just as I approached the window, I just happen to see a swarm fly by.

My father? Or this vampire woman he's made?

I looked out, watching for where it landed. Watching the swarm reshaped into the man I ran from all those years ago made me shiver. I knew seeing him would be hard but, this is painful.
The world may have moved on, but I still hate this feeling.

Father moved some bricks in the city wall, placing something in a lockbox. Then he was approached by a woman, a tall, pretty, pale woman.

Is that her? I observed every part of her from a distance.

She looked strong, but talking with my father, her face turned a slight shade of pink during their conversation. She's alive. Just a regular woman then.
But apparently, Delvin gave Her the message to give my father.

"never trusting him again…" I muttered, keeping my eyes on the pair on the street.

Father looked at cloth. Even from here, I could see my print was just less than half the size of his hand. For me, it brought me pleasant memories of holding his hand when we were a family.

But he looked at it with dejection. Like he didn't care.
That's what I was afraid of most.
The world had moved on, and so had he…

(End of Chapter 20)

So father has TWO new women in his life? That dumb wagon driver and this vampire lady. All this time and he just went and made our adult replacements.
Fine. But even if he married my target's daughter, he's not getting in my way.

"what is the music of life?"

"Silence, my brother"

"You are not worthy"

"Open the door, or I'll break your jaw!" I screamed at the doorman.
The stone entrance to the Assassin guild slid open. The new recruit trying to act all mysterious with the haunted voice smirked at me as I walked in.
"Next time someone gives the correct phrase, do your job!" I told him as I entered deeper into the lower floors. "Astrid!" I called, finding only Nazir at her desk.

"She's not here. Another recruit is being tested" He said. "Another 'choose your victim' set up"

"Damnit, well when you see her, tell her I'm going for the gold"

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean by that" Nazir leaned forward, beckoning me to approach. "First things' first. You got the money from the Grelod kill?"

"No, I bought the children cakes with it…"

"Babette… You can't take the praise Astrid gives you as a reason to rest on your laurels…"

"Even if I kill the elusive legend herself?" I tapped my finger against my head. "The mother speaks to me. The oldest contract in the guild. I'm going to claim it, today!"

Nazir took my words very seriously. Started asking for details.
I couldn't give much, after all, I don't really have a lot to go on yet. Right now, I'm just following my father, his new bedfellow and their pet human.

"They said they're going to Solitude and…" I could hear her. The mother wants me to take the journal with me. "I, I need the book!"

"Book?" Nazir shook his head, eyes tracing my every move.

"Valerica's journal!" I jumped over him and stuck to Astrid's bookshelf like a spider as I looked for the blasted thing.
Astrid won't be happy about me making a mess, but she'll understand once I tell her the news.
I slid the leather binder out, checked the first few pages to confirm I had the right one.
"I'll be back!"

"Stop!" Nazir pulled me out of the air and stood me on the floor. "You're not going to Harkon's castle. We'll send other assassins to confirm it first"

Is he joking? "What are you talking about? This is our one chance…!" I could hear the night mother, time was running out.

"Stop struggling, Astrid needs to be advised before we take on a task this big"

"If we wait for her, we'll lose the target!"

"Well, that's how it needs to be then!" Nazir yelled over me. "I'm sorry Babette. I want this as much as you do, but there's an order to this. You'll get your shot someday. Even if it takes ten years or ten thousand. Rejoice in the fact you'll live long enough to see that happen…" I felt his grip on me loosen as I stopped struggling. "But until then, return to your quarters and wait for Astrid"

"But I-"

"Being top-ranked assassin doesn't mean you do whatever you want. It means you do as your told"

This felt wrong. I was here back when Nazir couldn't even grow a proper beard. Now look at him. Talking down to me like this, scolding me in a way he wouldn't dare if our Matron was sitting there.
In a crowd, when all the tops are here, Nazir is actually very nice to me. But as soon as Astrid is gone and he has his leader cap on, that changes.

"you're right… I'm sorry Nazir…" I turned to face him, looking up into his deep brown eyes. "I'm just going to go for a walk instead"

His face softened, tilting slightly. "… very well then…"

"Thank you, Nazir…" Worked like a charm. I turned around, journal in my bag, ready to… "Nazir?" He'd grabbed my arm.

"walk to your quarters, and don't try your vampire tricks with me again!"

"One more trick…" I gave him a quick smile before my swarm scattered around his grip on me and flew out of the sanctuary through the air tunnels.
Now ready to try and intercept Father and his new family.

(Check chapters 23 - 25, 28–30)

Turns out I was actually wrong about father. That hug felt real, like the decades apart changed nothing. I think that hurt more than it meant to but in a good way. I feel like if I went to him again, we could pick up where we left off. Maybe we can save Helgi.
That would be great.
But, the brotherhood wants Valerica dead. And I'm obligated to carry it out.
All that is needed for me to satisfy the contract is a dead target and payment.
A spouse can deliver payment, no problems there. Valerica even said she'd let me claim her life if I can keep Serana safe, and she'd pay me herself with an Elder Scroll she's procured.
It's messy, but I have to do it. Serana will have to talk it out with Valerica herself.

"What is the music of…"

"Silence my brother, open the door!"

To my surprise, the door did open. To my greater surprise, the one who opened it was Nazir.

"Come with me, right now" He grabbed my arm and dragged me into the woods. "You are the stupidest person I've met, Vampire, child, and Assassin, you are the stupidest of all three, Babette!"

"But I-"

"No, shut your mouth and let me talk!" He snapped holding a finger to my face. "Astrid learned you disobeyed me. She's ordering everyone back to hold a meeting to decide on if you should be allowed to stay an Assassin or not. This has never happened before! Never!"

I've never seen Nazir this angry, and I never thought Astrid would do this.

"Tell me you killed Valerica, at least" He asked.

Seeing the desperation on his face, I lowered my head, feeling like a complete disgrace to everyone.
"I failed…"

"Oh Sithis…" He leaned against a tree, his hands washing over his dark face. "I'm going to vote to keep you in, you know that…" He said. "But you need to follow me inside, right now!"

I shook my head. If I go in there, I'll never come back out. Assassins aren't retired, they're executed. And too many people in there dislike me.
"No, no I can't…"

"This is for the best, you have to do this, please…" He pulled tighter.

"I, I've got a plan!" I screamed. "I can still get her!" I don't have a plan. Not at all. I just needed some time to think.

"You don't get to make plans" Nazir stated. "You're the blade, not the brain…" He made a face of sheer remorse. "I wish you remembered that… Astrid was wrong to put too much faith in a child"

"I'm not!" I screamed.

"Just come on…"

I was trying not to hurt him. Nazir is my friend. But I can't let him take me back inside.
"I have to speak to the contract!" I screamed, pulling my hand free. "I'll be back soon!"

"Babette! No! Get back here!" Nazir yelled. "They'll kill you if you go there!"

Astrid would have every right to kill me for disobeying a second time in a row.

"Babette!" Nazir called out as I fluttered through the trees.

It's me or Valerica now.
But I can't muscle her out of the Soul Cairn on my own. She's too strong, and if she so chooses, she can find all sorts of nasty things to do to me and I won't even get the mercy of death in that place.

If I'm going to do this, I need someone stronger than myself, especially with Serana helping her.
Maybe I can make a deal with Harkon. I lead him into the Soul Cairn, he could find Serana and Valerica.
I think it's just Valerica he wants to kill, so there's still hope for my father to retrieve Serana if she means that much to him.
Maybe I can still do this. Disobeying twice, but get the legendary kill. This is what I need to do if I want to survive the Brotherhood.

At Castle Volkihar.

I landed at the centre of the bridge leading up to the barred doorway.
I've been to this castle only a few times, but never approached the door. Never met with the vampires inside.
That was always the Brotherhood's custom.
We meet our contracts twice. Once to receive the order, once to deliver the news and payment would be given at the contract's discretion.

So long as I'm breaking rules, I suppose.

"Who dares approach?" Asked a, human? I didn't expect that.

"My name is Babette, Listener of the Dark Brotherhood and am here to speak with Lord Harkon of the clan Volkihar"

The attendant crept away from the bars to make his way inside.
It took a while for someone to answer.
In that time, I'd thought about just phasing through the bars with my bats but, maybe I should stay put until welcomed in by the Lord himself.
This is probably a speak when spoken to situation.
Maybe this once, I will do as I'm told.

A vampire finally approached.
"Well, hello little one. What brings you here?" He asked as the elderly attendant pulled on chains to open the gate.

"Like I said I…" That was rude. Don't be rude right now. "Excuse me… I am Babette… I- I'm here to speak with Lord Harkon"

"Hmm… Most unusual. But I'm sure he'll see you. If you'd please follow me" He led me through to the main hall.

I'd never seen so many vampires in one place before. I'll admit I was scared as they watched me stand before their lord.

"Welcome to my court" Called a very calm voice, from the tall throne at the far end. "Tell me, what is your name?"

"B-Babette, your lordship" I knelt down. When word gets back to the assassins, I want them to know I was respectful to our contact.

"And what clan do you belong to?"

"C-clan? The, Dark Brotherhood, my Lord"

"The Assassins made a vampire?" He said with surprised delight. "How fascinating…" He leaned forward, stroking his chin as he stared at me.

The assassins… made me?
When they found me, they were struggling. The guild was on the brink of going extinct.
Yet I served them for years. Gained them a lot of reputation, acted as their phantom blade that cannot be stopped.
If anything, I made them what they are today.
Yet they're ready to banish me at best, or far more likely, kill me.

But Niik, the one who did make me.
When he found me, I was struggling. I was on the brink of death. Yet he kept me for years. I learned a lot from him, was able to save people, not kill them.

If I keep this up. If I do what the guild wants. Do what the contract wants.
If I kill Valerica, or even so much as assist in her death. I'll lose everything I was, and I'd be a fool to think the guild will take me back.
Nazir already promised they'd kill me if I come here.
This was a mistake. I should have waited in the Soul Cairn for father to return.

"Lord Harkon" I looked up, watched him pour dark blood into a goblet. "The guild thought sending a fellow vampire to meet with you would be most appropriate"

"Is that so?"

"We know your daughter made it home safe. Since that part solved itself, and since it's taken so long to find your wife… We just wanted to let you know that when we have her head for you, the bounty will be open for negotiation"

There was a thunderous laugh all around.
This is the most terrifying thing I've had to endure. But I've stated why I'm here, I think they believe me, I need to go now.

"Everyone be silent!" Harkon boomed as he rose up before turning to me. "You're quite brave for coming here, little one. I apologise for my court's rudeness…"

"It's quite alright," I say with a bow. "I must go now"

"So soon? Will you not at least join us for a drink?" He offered me the goblet.

"That's alright, I need to get going before dawn…"

"Then stay a while"

"Really, it's-" I felt my body move. It was pulled along the floor by an invisible force and quickly found myself in Harkon's grip.

"I wasn't asking…" He forced the goblet to my mouth. The moment I tasted blood, the instinct to drink was too much to resist.

My head started burning.

"That's it, drink up…" As Harkon smiled at me, his face started to crack and flake apart.

He held me by my wrists, and I couldn't move from his arms.
The howling walls were coming alive. Statues broke free from their pedestals and were snarling at me. Devil dogs were jumping from their paintings and charging to kill me.

"Let me go!" I screamed, struggling, unable to use my powers the way I wanted.

I couldn't escape the fire surrounding me.
Just heard the voices in my head.
Their laughter, my own screams.