Chapter 57: MerDer or Murder?

"What got your panties in a bunch?" asked Addie eyeing her friend with a slight frown as they walked towards the cafeteria during lunchtime. "The gossiping? The stares?"

"Nothing," shrugged Meredith. "For once, my panties are fine and unaffected, thank you very much."

"So, why's that face?" insisted Addie.

"What face?" snapped Meredith. "What? Is the mascara all over me?"

"No," chuckled Addison. "Your make-up is perfect, as always. But you're all moody and broody…"

"I'm fine," sighed Meredith. "Please don't make me elaborate what I mean by fine. Other subject, what's up with that murder everyone's talking about? Someone from the hospital?"

The red-head bit her lip and shook her head pityingly. "Actually, it's the same subject, Mer."

"What do you mean?" Meredith looked at her sharply.

"Everyone's not talking about a murder," explained Addison with a hint of amusement in her voice thinking how to break the news in the gentlest of ways. "Ever heard of Brangelina? Or Bennifer?"

"Yeah, and?" Meredith made a skeptical face, trusting that her best friend's randomness did have a point.

"Mer-Der, got it?" snickered Addison.

Meredith started to think… Murder, no… Mer… Der…

"You've got to be kidding me!" she groaned.

"I'm not," she chuckled and pushed her friend between the tables. "This way."

Meredith frowned seeing where she was leading her. "Oh, come on, you want me to sit with them? With him? In front of everyone? I don't need more talking about MerDer or there will be a murder!"

"Sorry, Mer," Addison was relentless. "Have you thought how your avoidance might make Derek feel? Like you're ashamed of him."

"I am not!" huffed Meredith indignantly.

"Then grin and bear it," Addison shoved her forward. "Sit down!"

Meredith dropped to a seat beside Derek while Addison took the place in front of her close to Mark.

"Hey," grumbled Meredith greeting more the table than the two men.

"Hi," said quietly Derek feeling his girlfriend's mood decidedly worsened since the morning.

"Finally, the other half of MerDer graced us with her presence," chuckled Mark ignoring the glares of the rest of the table. "I wouldn't have believed if I had been told I'd be eating lunch with such celebrities."

"If you'd like to continue working in this hospital, I think it's a good moment to shut up," smiled sweetly Meredith and added venomously, "Maddison."

"Oh, thanks," quipped Mark. "We can continue being cool friends."

"Mer?" Derek reached to rub Meredith's forearm but she wrenched it away quickly.

"I'm… sorry," she muttered. "I… I've got a tough case."

"Tough case?" repeated Addison with surprise. "Since when do you get overly worried about your patients?"

"I don't have a heart carved out of stone, Addie," she bit back, a genuine twinge of hurt going through her heart.

"I'm sorry, I didn't say you did," Addison said apologetically. "It's just… not like you to worry that much."

"Like I said, it's a tough case, which I don't want to talk about," said Meredith with a final note in her voice.

An awkward silence fell upon the table and everyone got busied with their lunch. Meredith swallowed her fries with an overwhelming feeling of guilt. But she was just that, a spoilsport, wasn't she? She glanced at another table where Gretchen Miles was entertaining one of the male doctors and emitting loud high-pitched laughter. Meredith could bet she wouldn't be gloomy if she had Derek at her disposal.

"So, uhm," Derek cleared his throat surreptitiously. "About our date, when do you think you'll have a free evening?"

"Derek, we can discuss it some other time, can't we?" she said tiredly, hating herself how completely devoid of emotion her voice sounded.

"Of course," he sighed. She was avoiding, again. It was like yo-yo effect, one step forward, two steps backward.

"Trouble in paradise?" singsang Mark. He did not continue, however, as Addison kicked him in the shin. He didn't really know when to shut the hell up.

Meredith's pager beeped insistently drowning his grunts of pain.

"Oh, shit!" hissed Meredith checking the page. The news was obviously bad as she shot from the chair and ran out of the cafeteria at the top speed without another word.

"You know what's your problem, Shep?" asked Mark frowning at Derek's agonizing expression.

"Enlighten me," he answered sarcastically. "Love is pain, isn't it?"

"Nah," Mark leaned back comfortably in his chair sneaking his hand to Addison's thigh. "Love is pleasure. If you act strategically, that is."

"Mhm, you and your bright ideas," muttered Derek ironically.

"Like hell they are, I don't have problems with my woman," boasted the plastic surgeon.

"I have no idea how that happened," commented Derek and turned to Addison. "How do you stand five minutes with him?"

"Hey, that's not your problem," warned Mark. "Your problem is why your girlfriend can't stand five minutes with you."

"Meredith is… She experiences everything ten times more intense, and it's difficult for her," explained quietly Derek.

"While that may be the case," agreed Mark. "It's not all about her, you're a whimp."

"Thanks, I'm so glad you're my shrink," nodded Derek with sarcasm.

"Nothing stings like the truth. Just look at your nickname MerDer, she's first, she's the one wearing trousers in the relationship. She's your boss, she decides. You need to show more initiative."

"It's not how Meredith works," Addison cut in. "The harder you push, the faster she seeks the exit."

"She needs to come forward, on her own, that's the only way," Derek nodded his head consentingly.

"That doesn't mean you've got nothing else to do than sit idly waiting for your life to be decided by someone else," argued Mark. "You need to act, man. And that doesn't clash with being patient and supportive and all that shit."