"The Celestial Capital – Al'Taieu" from Final Fantasy XI: Chains of Promathia

LVII. Sins of the Father

(Aria)

Flying through time as the Normandy flew through the great empty void:

The beginning of June already, and I had somehow settled into my new space. My new routine.

Astonishingly, Shepard had given me the free room on the engineering deck. The starboard cargo room. Ashley's old room—where Shepard had gunned her down that night. After our time on the Citadel, Shepard had ordered EDI to unseal the room, specifying that the place belonged to me now. EDI had sounded apprehensive, but she'd followed orders anyway. The windows facing the Normandy's interior—the deck outside my door, and the cargo hold downstairs—remained shuttered, giving me plenty of privacy. The opposite windows stayed open to that starry void, darkened more by the contrast, just from how white and bright and clean this room was. Perfectly pristine—as if Shepard had gotten down on her hands and knees to scrub every inch of this space for me. She'd also replaced the bed with a completely new one. The most comfortable queen-sized mattress, especially aboard a military ship on a military operation. The cleanest black and violet bedding, free from any bloody memories of having wrapped Ashley's corpse in the old sheets and comforter. And plenty of space on the long table, where Shepard had set up my hardware ahead of time, allowing me to operate Omega remotely as I pleased.

"All the other leftover rooms are too small for you," Shepard had said. "I know you need your space."

Despite the history here, I certainly appreciated this generous space. Shepard stayed true to her word about treating me as an honorary officer. So I supposed I couldn't complain too much. But sometimes, I felt like I was losing my mind. As if I could feel Ashley's ghost in this room from time to time. Watching me. Observing me. I didn't sense anything malicious from her. Quite the opposite in fact. Still strange.

Every now and then, it got to be too much. Like right now.

I decided to take a shower. Hopefully to get rid of this feeling. That and I had nothing else pressing at the moment. Not with the Normandy arriving to Kahje within the next hour or so. And I did miss my hot tub back home, but I managed to enjoy my showers on Shepard's ship. Even when she wasn't here, I still felt at home, just because she had given this space to me, curated it for me. With my birthday approaching in the next three weeks, Shepard had somehow made every day feel like my birthday. She kept up her special treatment, as promised. Cooking for me. Bringing the meals straight to my room. Alone, just the two of us, we would talk, laugh, make out together. She gave me a dream. She kept her promises to me.

And even though I adored this whole experience, I remained cynical. I wanted to think this whole thing was some huge con. A fantasy. A big illusion that would end up shattering someday. Yes, I kept trying to pick at the situation. Picking at whether Shepard was honest or genuine or not. Sometimes I did end up pushing her away. At least emotionally, if not physically—as if bracing myself for the inevitable disappointment. I did this to her last night, even after we'd had a wonderful time for hours beforehand.

As always, Shepard saw right through me.

She had followed my lead last night, leaving my room as requested. But not after giving me the deepest, most sensual kiss I could've imagined. The look Shepard gave me afterward—so intensely focused, quietly obsessed…I didn't want her to leave anymore. I couldn't make myself say the words. Shepard left anyway. She made me sit with myself, thinking everything over. Weighing whether it was worth letting my bad habits take over. Self-sabotaging. Of course I knew it wasn't worth it. I just needed to stop this.

Lathering myself in the shower, I tried to pin down where my habits came from.

For the longest, whenever I thought I was safe, it turned out not to be true. Safe in a home, safe in a family, safe in a school, safe in a relationship, safe in a work environment. So my own survival instincts came up with a vengeance to compensate. The only safety I'd ever had was the type I had created for myself. Supposedly at home on Omega. But even that was tenuous at times, as the plague had proved.

Thinking about it honestly, the Normandy was the one place where I felt completely safe.

As I dried myself off and got dressed, I wondered how to spend my remaining time. Shepard had promised to take me out on Kahje. I was tempted to see her room. But I would've had to request access to get up there. Considering everything Shepard had gone through before, I didn't want to intrude on her space. If she decided to invite me up to her cabin, then I would go. Just not before that happened.

Out of the blue, I checked around the ship's surveillance.

Tali and Legion were still busy in Engineering, working quietly alongside one another.

Zaeed and James did the same in the armory, instead cracking jokes with each other.

Brow deeply furrowed, Dr. Chakwas seemed troubled as she worked at her desk in the med bay.

Garrus calibrated away in the main battery, speaking with Kaidan over the ship's comms.

Thane and Lawson stuck to their usual hideout in the life support area.

Samara meditated alone in the starboard observation room; Kasumi stuck to her room down the hall.

Joker and EDI piloted the ship together at the helm, a severely fake peace and quiet about their aura.

In the lab, Mordin and Little Liara wrapped up the last of their work before shore leave. It looked like Liara was busy transferring data about the Collectors to the Normandy's VR modules. Mordin worked on moving over the Reaper he and the others had created. The whole team would have access to the Armax Arena game for future training.

Jack was with them. She of course wanted access to their work immediately.

"What's the hold up?" she complained, leaning on the lab table. "When are you two gonna be done?"

Mordin smiled as he worked. "Patience, Jack," he advised. "Prothean expertise from Liara speeding up process for Collector AI. Still, transfer will take time. Will continue autonomously during shore leave."

"So I've still gotta wait some more? Is that what you're telling me? It's been like a week already!"

"We apologize for the wait," expressed Liara. "You do seem anxious about this."

"Yeah, I'm fucking anxious! I got my ass kicked by a Reaper in a video game. I want some payback."

"Perhaps you're being too hard on yourself. You are quite young for a human, yet your biotics are very strong for your years. Most asari of your comparative age could never have achieved what you did."

Jack only scoffed over the compliments. "Says the scientist who aced the game on Insanity."

Liara asked, "You refuse to allow yourself any leeway?"

"I'm never satisfied with what I do. Not until I'm the best of the best. Hell, I'm competing against you, Samara, Aria. All these powerhouse asari! You can bet your blue ass I'm gonna work as hard as I can."

Just for that, I made my way up the elevator to the lab.

On the way there, I took stock of how things had changed aboard the ship. I humored whether my presence aboard the Normandy had inspired the crew to be more productive. Shepard's hardened leadership style mixed with my natural intimidation had certainly boosted everyone's work ethic. The team, though, seemed much more lively, often spending more time with one another. They enjoyed the occasional times when I would find a group here and there, stopping to ask what they were up to. I would at least offer cordial conversation. Never lingering too long.

I only tended to roam around in the middle of the night.

Not really during the day.

I had a difficult time sleeping—and not because of my new surroundings. I kept having such strange dreams. The 'place' I always dreamed about seemed to be broken. The environments didn't quite look right. Nothing functioned as it should. These issues made it nearly impossible to sleep through the night.

In the lab, I arrived and found Liara, Jack, and Mordin still here.

Mordin uploaded the last of his data. "Done all we can do, Jack. Can only wait now. Never fast enough, yes. But—have to be careful. No room for error." He looked to Liara wrapping up her own work, remembering: "Important discoveries from project! Prothean-Collector connection aided in charting Reaper species modification. Fall of Protheans. Aligns with explanations from Javik."

I glanced around and found Liara's shock. Smirking in satisfaction, I approached the table she stood at.

I could just feel Liara's thoughts brimming through her eyes: 'What could she possibly want with me?'

"Yo, Aria!" greeted Jack. "'Sup."

"Jack," I spoke, nodding to her. "Mordin. Little Liara. You all look quite busy. What's going on?"

"They're putting that simulation game into the ship's VR training programs. Taking forever, though. Oh, and Mordin was just going on about the Collectors, the Protheans, and the Reapers. Science lesson?"

Liara prompted Mordin, "You were saying?"

"Ah, yes! Early stages similar to indoctrination," he continued. "Can guess captured Protheans lost intelligence over several cloned generations. Cybernetic augmentations widespread afterward. As Protheans failed during war, Reapers added tech to compensate. Mental capacity almost gone, replaced by overworked sensory input, transfers. Transmitting data to masters." Jack's eyes glazed over in sheer boredom. Mordin appeared not to notice, speaking on: "Unfortunate—unable to reverse effects. No glands, replaced by tech. No digestive system, also replaced by tech. Collectors not beings."

Curiously puzzled as I was, Liara translated for me: "The Collectors essentially have no souls. Somehow, the essence of their being has been replaced by Reaper technology. Whatever they were before, it is gone forever. Lost to time. That is what Mordin means."

"No souls, huh?" I wondered.

"They have no art," she supplied. "No culture. As Javik said, the Collectors are more husks than slaves."

"Agreed," said Mordin. "Tools for Reapers. Protheans dead. Collectors just final insult. Must be destroyed."

"As if we needed any more motivation to stop them…"

"Enjoy challenge. Saw necessity of attack on Collectors after plague on Omega. Their work, my people. Hard to care about two armies. One wins, one loses. Always work to do after. Now have more context. See what Collectors are. Wasn't looking for other work before! Don't mean to imply that. Just committed now. Won't let Shepard down. Won't let team down. Challenge too troubling to ignore."

Liara had to ask, "What is it about the Collectors' modification that bothers you this much?"

Mordin argued, "Disrupts socio-technological balance! All scientific advancement due to intelligence overcoming, compensating for limitations. Can't carry load, so invent wheel. Can't catch food, so invent spear. Limitations! No limitations, no advancement. No advancement, culture stagnates!"

"Wouldn't you say our culture can surpass the need for limitations? If for example, we are at the apex of our advancement, then our culture couldn't possibly stagnate. We would simply continue proliferating what we know, expanding it elsewhere."

"Hmm, yes, indeed possible. Difficult to imagine apex of advancement. Is apex here? Do Reapers seek to harvest current cycle—at current apex? Struggle to conceive Reapers' definition of peak development. Humanity discovered secrets through Alliance, black ops programs? Asari unlocked key to ending all crime and poverty across galaxy? Volus client riches eliminating need for spent currency? Unknown."

Jack looked close to dozing off now.

Yet I watched their debate with a glint, a twinkle in my eye.

"I don't know, either," admitted Liara. "But I suppose your theory works in the inverse. We've seen it."

"True," said Mordin. "Advancement before culture is ready—disastrous. Saw with krogan. Uplifted by salarians. Disastrous. Our fault. Like giving nuclear weapons to cavemen. Krogan unprepared for spaceflight, technological advance. Could have evolved alone. Worked out aggression. Been ready to use new tech responsibly. Instead, salarians came. Disrupted krogan culture. Used krogan as blunt instrument against rachni. Shortsighted. Foolish."

"Mordin, if you feel that way, then why did you work on the genophage modification?"

"Told Shepard, Miranda before. Best option. That or kill them all. If around during first contact, would have argued against it. Wasn't there then. Do what I can."

I brought the previous topic back: "Wait a minute. You both said the Collectors had no art. You're scientists. I'm surprised you care about that sort of thing."

Liara justified, "Studying a peoples' culture is just as important as studying their biology. Besides, I was an archaeologist. It was my job to examine the Protheans' culture: their collective unity as a species."

Rather blasé, Mordin explained, "Personal interest negligible. Sang a little. Multispecies productions for cultural exploration. Gilbert and Sullivan. Always had me do the patter songs. But not about me. Cultural artistic expression reflects philosophical evolution, interest in growth, perspective, observation, interpretation. Suspect you won't see art on Collector homeworld. Culturally dead. Worse than geth."

Suddenly alert now, Jack gave him an incredulous stare. "Wait. You sang? Gilbert and fucking Sullivan?"

And then Mordin smiled, clearly about to break out into song:

But I quickly held up my hand, ordering him, "Mordin, don't."

"Understood, Aria…"

Joker spoke over the intercom: "Hey folks, touching down on Kahje in fifteen minutes! Hope you've got your umbrellas ready. Or your shields. The humid rain's pretty much non-stop day and night. Should be fun seeing how the hanar live it up with the drell. I hear this place is a tourist's wet dream. Literally!"

Perpetual rain, hm?

As long as it wasn't snow, that was fine with me.

I absolutely couldn't stand the cold.

"Well, I'm outta here," declared Jack, taking her leave. "See you around on the jellyfish world."

Just Mordin and Liara with me now—

And Liara obviously looked like she wanted to speak up.

Painfully shy as she was, I didn't expect her to voice anything first. But she just wasn't ready yet. So I cut Liara some slack and decided to leave early. Maybe she would speak to me at some point. Maybe she wouldn't. Just as long as she had learned her lesson—which she had—the rest didn't matter to me.

Ethereal and otherworldly, Kahje looked just like paradise. Hidden beneath a grayed, hazy bed of clouds was the planet itself—a full body of walkable water. The Encompassing covered the whole planet in a vast ocean of an immaculate cerulean blue. The sea existed as a livable space on the hanar homeworld, dotted with several islands of raised infrastructures in between. Beyond the celestial capital itself, Kahje had its typical structures of steel—like the drell's domed city Cnidaria, set quite a ways away, right along a part in the ocean, waterfalls cascading as a continuous source of power and energy. Closer to the actual capital, the waters glittered more and more, as these celestial wonders overtook the space.

Instead of those islands of domes, Al'Taieu had several ancient, elaborate structures populating the place. Large and wide, with curved, rounded forms, each made of some type of white-gray concrete, almost like a porcelain perfection. The central-most structure—the Grand Palace of Hu'Xzoi—stood tallest and strongest beneath the pouring rain, as the model the rest of the buildings had built upon. A long ramp extended out from the main entrance, leading down to the main ground of the capital.

Not so much filled with water like everywhere else: the transparent surface gave a puzzling illusion of depth, seeming much deeper than it actually was. Beneath the true ground were layers of depth, leading down to the floor of a seabed below. But Al'Taieu's ground hovered just over where the sea would have been, see-through as a sea-colored blue-green. Various hanar, drell, and other sea-like creatures roamed along that illusion of a ground. The Normandy passed over the illusion, flying over the elevated layers of the seabed above ground, acting as islands for the city's verdant plant life.

When our ship descended, we arrived at a place called the Garden of Antiquity as our docking bay.

Shepard held my hand as we left the Normandy with the whole team. As we left the Garden together, I tried to get an angle on her mood. She'd been very quiet lately. Not about me, our tepid arguments these days. Just about being here in general. As if she had a bad feeling about Kahje, about this place for some reason. Shepard wouldn't tell me what it was about. I knew she and I were fine: Shepard did manage to smile over my trepidation with Al'Taieu's ground. I didn't trust that the ground was there—because I couldn't see it at all. Walking on the surface felt like walking through a thin body of water.

She also seemed to warm up over the rain. This constant sense of gloom everywhere from the rainclouds overhead: Shepard thrived in this environment, as much as she adored this type of weather. Maybe she didn't enjoy the humidity so much, but the constant pattering of rain over her shields, and over my kinetic barriers, did feel rather romantic. Having her hand over mine only added to this feeling.

All of a sudden, a few of those other sea-like creatures floated over to us. Such long, flowing bodies colored as orange, with rounded faces that somehow reminded me of eyeless fish. More importantly, they didn't seem hostile at all, and yet Zaeed still pulled out his gun.

"The hell are these things?!" he groused. "They just came out of nowhere!"

Jack shoved his gun away. "Will you stop?! Does it look like they're trying to attack us?"

Tali giggled. "They seem pretty harmless to me. Very adorable, too."

Smiling gently, Liara said, "Yes, I agree. I believe these creatures are just saying hello."

Thane educated us: "These are friendly Ul'hpemde entities—celestial bodies who watch over the land, quietly working to clean up any littering they come across. You can thank them for this spotless capital. They will not attack unless attacked. They're also known for their notoriously short attention spans."

As he said that, the creatures lost interest in us, wandering off to follow someone else now.

In that same vein, the team decided to split up into their own groups, off to go sightseeing:

Liara, Tali, Kaidan, Garrus, and Joker went off to visit the Prothean ruins across the planet.

Jack, Kasumi, James, Javik, and Zaeed took an interest in the underwater volcano not too far away.

Thane and Lawson went to search for clues on Kolyat's whereabouts, to pin down his current location.

EDI, Legion, Mordin, and Samara went to one of the nearby celestial observatories.

The ones who left to faraway places: they took Kahje's odd form of rapid transport. Large, imposing jellyfish-like UFOs descended from the skies, luminous as blue and white. The creatures took passengers over their tops; the passengers rode along the creatures like magic carpets. This story repeated across the city, with several jellyfish-UFO-vehicles of immense size quickly transporting people everywhere.

Shepard stayed with me right where we were.

"We have some time until our dinner reservation," she said. "Did you want to go anywhere else first?"

I looked over at the obvious—the huge palace in the center of the city.

"That's the hanar's central government building, isn't it? Are they open to the public?"

"Yes, we can head over and take a look. I've heard hanar politics is pretty heated. Should be interesting."

Fully leaning into the whole tourism thing, Shepard guided me over to the Grand Palace of Hu'Xzoi. We went up that huge ramp to a see-through, violet crystalline field at the entrance, allowing us inside. As the name suggested, this place apparently once belonged to Kahje's royal family. Their system of government shifted over the centuries from the pure monarchy I remembered to a parliamentary democracy, with the monarchy acting more as ceremonial figureheads these days. But the government as a whole still called itself the Illuminated Primacy, royals and Parliament and all.

Although the palace itself seemed very…one-note. The labyrinthine halls and wide rooms looked exactly the same as the exterior of the building. That same grayed-out white, just with an inexplicable, ethereal light shining down from somewhere overhead. The colorful hanar and drell everywhere more than made up the difference—the hanar civilians and government representatives roamed the halls together, while most of the drell acted as the Parliamentary Guard, wearing their suits like Thane's, looking professional.

Shepard had us follow the general crowd, looking around as we went. The palace did have a bunch of art on display: vibrant flowers, other sea creatures, and historical stories painted on the otherwise barren walls. I mostly saw sculptures of urn-like beings surrounded by beams of light. Jailer of Temperance, Jailer of Hope, Jailer of Love, and several other 'jailers' of virtues watched over the palace as the hanar's patron saints. I found this quite fitting, as the restaurant Shepard planned on taking me to was called Absolute Virtue. Given how excessively polite the hanar tended to be, this seemed to fit their culture.

We eventually found Parliament ongoing within the Chamber of Eventide.

As members of the public, we had our places in these balconies raised above the main floor. Shepard leaned on the railing in front of us; and I leaned on her, watching as the proceedings unfolded down below. Several hundred hanar politicians took up space, separated into political parties. The main Speaker remained at the central podium, with a few drell assistants nearby, working as scribes and such.

The representatives were currently engaged in a lively debate—perhaps too lively. They went over some leaked information: that the Council races had received special funding to reinforce their planetary defenses, while the non-Council races didn't receive anything. The hanar worried that something big was about to happen, potentially leaving Kahje defenseless against the threat. One side of the aisle insisted on trusting the Council, while the other side had worked itself up over the secrecy, wishing to formally demand answers via the legislation introduced on the floor. Between all the noise, the shouting, and the chaotic emotions going on, the main Speaker at the podium tried to corral everyone.

Their drell assistant kept hammering the gavel, while the Speaker cried out, "This one calls for order on the floor!"

Two of the representatives couldn't take it anymore. A physical fight broke out between them, tentacles flying. That gavel kept hammering; the drell guards hurried to contain the fight; and the Speaker shouted in a helpless anger—"This one will not abide by such violence! There will be order on the floor!"

"This is hysterical," I said, smirking over the whole thing. "It's gold. I love hanar politics now."

Shepard just smiled and shook her head over the drama.

But then she recalled, "They have reasons to be pissed. That information shouldn't have gotten leaked."

"I knew about it from Tevos, but I also knew to keep the details to myself. Even then, she wasn't supposed to tell me. I can tell she's worried."

"Is Thessia prepared for war?" asked Shepard.

"Not at all," I scoffed. "Our people have gotten soft. I honestly don't remember the last time we even had a major war. Sure, we have our commandos, huntresses, and strike teams, but they're always for individual operations. Or little errands Asari High Command sends us on for ridiculous reasons—usually top-secret. As soon as the fighting breaks out, we're going to lose a lot of people. It's unavoidable."

"What about Liselle? Will she be on the frontlines?"

"Hopefully not… She's stationed somewhere comfortable. Doesn't sound like it'll end anytime soon. Even with the war, Liselle will be obligated to stay where she is. Couldn't tell you why. It's another one of those top-secret things. I'm not too concerned. What about you? Are you worried about Earth?"

"…Anderson shared with me that they're going to hit Earth first. And the hardest. Right away."

The depths of magnitude in Shepard's stare—she couldn't stop thinking about home.

"They're still supposed to arrive later this year?"

"November. December. Sometime around then."

"Is this why you want to visit Earth before we hit the relay?"

Shepard nodded.

The fighting on the Parliament floor had since escalated. None of it really reached us anymore.

"After the mission," she went on. "I want to go back home again. Stay there until everything goes down. We'll have to leave on the Normandy again. Until then, I just want to be on Earth. While I still can."

"I don't blame you, babe. In the meantime, though, have you been meditating like I suggested?"

Shepard smiled. "I've been getting back into it. It's helped a lot."

"Hmm, in what way?"

"It's the mindfulness. Realizing what's in my power and what isn't. Letting go of everything else beyond my control; holding on to what's important to me."

From this adoring look she gave me, I definitely saw what she valued most. What was most important.

In an effort to contain the ongoing drama, the drell guards escorted the public out from the palace.

Back out in the rain, back within the humidity, Shepard took me to our next destination. I objected to the idea of riding those UFO-things as our rapid transit. But luckily, the restaurant Shepard had picked out wasn't too far away. On the way there, Shepard eased back into me. She realized she'd grown distant lately—and not just from our conversation moments ago. More than just me, I could tell how much she cared. How much Shepard cared about traveling the galaxy, bringing her team to places like this for shore leave. How much she cared about assisting everyone with their personal missions, their private concerns. How much she cared about protecting everyone from the worst of the worst—like the terrible truths about Cerberus and the Illusive Man. And even after that, protecting us from the Reapers.

I could never know the weight she carried on her shoulders.

Shepard exuded such confidence, despite the massive weight she dealt with all alone. She brought me to this restaurant, to Absolute Virtue, with the full intent of making me happy, of romancing me. She did this with that entire weight around her, setting it aside for my sake. The sight of this place no doubt helped shift away some of those problems, as beautiful as this restaurant was.

Tall as transparent glass of violets, structured as flowing and otherworldly, this building definitely felt more modern than the hanar's central palace. Waters flowing down the sides, wrapping around the architecture, and angelic white decorations everywhere—staring at this place somehow reminded me of a tangible soul. Shepard guided me through the dark, spacious interior; my feelings only grew. I could stare out the windows as we ascended up to the topmost floor, adoring the contrast of the gloomy grays of the rainclouds outside, brightening these dark surfaces all around. The rest of Al'Taieu brimmed even brighter across the horizon—the whites of the ancient buildings, the blue-greens of the false ground, the blues and whites of those bizarre UFOs, and the afternoon lights shining as stars across the capital.

Several hanar enjoyed an early dinner here: standing around their taller tables, and congregating around the elevated bar across the way. Plenty of people from other species also dined here—humans, salarians, asari—at their 'normal' tables. No matter the species, every single person in the building recognized us. They saw me on Shepard's arm and smiled, proud to have witnessed such a sight.

Once again, Shepard brought me to the special Spectre seating. Just like before on Bekenstein, we had the perfect view outside. I enjoyed this atmosphere—the grand sights of the Encompassing covering Kahje's surface beyond Al'Taieu itself, and the pure glass ceiling overhead with the rain rolling off.

Somewhere on the ceiling, I spotted a message written there, glowing as bioluminescence for my eyes:

At last the time has come
The scattered fragments of my thoughts once again mine
Long-forgotten memories filling me once more
However, these memories generate suffering
These thoughts bring remorse
Tell me—for what searcheth thou, to travel this far? Show me—by what principles art thou driven?

Shepard spotted the same message and smiled.

I asked her, "You know what that is?"

She smiled more. "It's Absolute Virtue, all right."

I had no idea what that meant. Shepard knew I didn't, yet she kept her mystery, choosing not to say anything more. But even if she had, I might not have heard her properly. There was something about her today. Here, now, sitting in this restaurant with me. The way this lighting illuminated Shepard's skin, the pure moisture of her complexion—she made me suddenly parched and starving. Just from how remarkable she was in her beauty, far more so now with this darkness around. And then there she was.

If we weren't in public right now—

Shepard didn't seem to notice, warning me, "By the way—we can't order for ourselves. This restaurant doesn't have that automated system. They leave it out on purpose because the hanar bring other species here to wine and dine them. Usually for political reasons. We'll have an actual waiter this time."

"That's fine," I said, looking at the menu. "I'll order for us. These meals are…certainly something else."

"I wanted to keep up our theme of taking risks."

I laughed over how innocent she made it sound. "Yes, babe, now I know. If you're not having a salad, it's a groundbreaking meal for you. I'm honored you chose to take these risks for me." Some of these items appeared solidly outside of her comfort zone: "So, let's see. Roasted high-quality Xzomit organs, baked high-quality Phaubo organs…" Shepard winced over the associated photos on the menu. "Hmm, what are these golden Reraise halos? 'Meant to induce the spiritual sense of immortality and the afterlife'?"

"Sounds religious," she noted. "Has Afterlife in it. Maybe that's up your alley."

"I'm not sure. Actually, I'm more curious about the specials for the day. Sin of Indulgence, Sin of Infatuation, Sin of Indolence, Sin of Insolence, Sin of Invidiousness, Sin of Indignation, Sin of Intemperance… Seven sins total. Why are there so many sins at a place called Absolute Virtue?"

Shepard glanced over the alcohol list. "I don't think we're supposed to take the name too literally. This whole place is really just for tourists and foreigners like us. The hanar don't even drink regular alcohol."

"Well, I do enjoy the descriptions for their drinks. The sparkling Luminian champagne sounds delicious. Even the ethereal Aern wine. I'm also liking the sound of these delicately sweet, everglazed crystal clusters for dessert. The richness gets to me. Have you decided what you want for your actual meal?"

"We should have one of these sins. 'A suspended memory of a Lumorian.' Lumoria as the country here in Kahje, with Al'Taieu as the capital city. I want to know how an actual memory is supposed to taste."

"Sounds good to me."

Right on time, our hanar waiter arrived to the table. Donning a little black bowtie around one of its centermost tentacles, I couldn't possibly guess this person was anyone except our waiter. Beyond excited to see us, it could barely contain itself as it reached our side.

"Hello, good afternoon!" greeted the waiter, voice echoing and all. "Commander Shepard. Pirate Queen Aria T'Loak. This one humbly welcomes you to our fine establishment! Could we interest the lovely couple in a glass of water to begin? Or perhaps an item from our selection of wines and champagnes?"

I spoke up, "We'll take the water and that Lumorian champagne—for both of us."

"Yes, right away!"

Definitely right away—two drell suddenly came by. They supplied us with our glasses of water, and the sparkling, crystalline champagne. And then they left as if they'd never showed up in the first place.

The waiter went on, "Would the lovely couple be ready to order? Or might this one offer more time?"

"We're ready now. I'm only wondering if you could tell us about these sins. Memories. What are they?"

"Ah, the specials! Allow this one to explain. Each of the sins are connected to one's soul. The memories of the Lumorian are linked to us all. Consuming the Sin of Intemperance recalls one's own memories—linked instead to the sin's equivalent virtue, temperance. This is an astral phenomenon, most powerful between romantic partners. We recommend the experience as a way to grow closer with one another."

"Sure, we'll try it," I said. "Shepard and I will both have the Sin of Infatuation. That'll be all for now."

"Of course! Our chefs will deliver the lovely couple's meals very soon. Please enjoy your time with us."

The waiter floated away along the tips of its tentacles, off to serve the next table.

Shepard seemed amused. "This is so surreal."

"It certainly is," I agreed. "But I enjoy how unusual this is. Just think—the hanar actually live underwater out there. They have their own lives and routines, separate from the foreign-friendly society up here. This has to be for the money. I can't imagine Kahje's economy would survive without all this tourism."

"I think they do some trading with Illium. Not enough to sustain their whole economy, that's for sure."

As I tasted our champagne, I understood right away—

"Quite the delicacy," I praised. "You're not getting this outside of Kahje. Almost tastes like the depths of the ocean, as an emotional experience. Feels like I'm down there learning about the meaning of life."

Tasting her own champagne, Shepard agreed. That radiant smile of hers spoke volumes.

As promised, the drell chefs brought us our meals:

Two bowls before us, nestling the single Sin of Infatuation within. This pearl-colored dish was shaped like a large egg—yet without the hard exterior of a pearl, an egg. As I tested the texture with my spoon, I instead found a fluffy, spongy feel, like cake. The sin gave off an irresistibly sweet scent, reminding me of a true infatuation. This could've easily been dessert for dinner. Perhaps the sweetness was deceiving.

"Are you going to try it?" asked Shepard.

"Making me the guinea pig?"

"I'm the one paying," she justified.

"You got me there, babe," I approved. "Remind me of what our waiter said. When we eat this, it's going to induce our own memories. This is infatuation—so we're supposed to experience the virtue instead. Something to bring us closer. What's the opposite of infatuation? Hatred? That doesn't make sense."

"Probably love."

A loaded word for us both.

Yet she made it sound so simple.

Consuming the sin and experiencing the virtue.

As I sampled this pearl-colored, egg-shaped cake, I expected—well, I didn't know what to expect.

But then, sudden and unobtrusive, I experienced my own memories linked to love. My idea of love. Not romantic love at first. No, at first I saw my daughter. Liselle, from when she was much younger. I was always a single mother by choice, raising my child by myself. Raising her…after the frozen hell my mother had put me through from her neglect. And then the emotional isolation I had put myself through as an adult. So when I had Liselle, it felt like she had saved me from all that. She never once judged me. From day one, I had her acceptance, just in the way she would always smile at me whenever I scowled.

I wasn't perfect with her.

There came a time when Liselle expected more from me as her parent, and I couldn't give it to her. Instead of explaining why, I ended up shutting her out. Sending her back to Thessia. Trying to protect her from myself, from my life on Omega, from the dangers I was used to. Liselle ended up rebelling against me. That led to Paul Grayson. That led to Kai Leng. Then that led us to where we were today.

Eating more of this dish, and drinking more champagne, my memories eventually shifted, changed.

They shifted and changed to Shepard, our recent times together. To my idea of romantic love with her:

Those images from our first date on Bekenstein, of Shepard surprising me with all that food. Just buying out the entire restaurant and the whole menu, and giving me the freedom to choose like that. After that, I saw Shepard on the Normandy, in my room before I arrived. She physically removed the old bed from the room. And then, the Savior of the Citadel, Council Spectre, and the most iconic hero from the Alliance got down on her hands and knees, cleaning every inch of that starboard cargo room for me. Scrubbing away any invisible remains from her ex's spilled blood; even cleaning away any remnants of her own love deep in that room, deeply for someone else.

And then she brought in the computer monitors for the table, linking everything to the ship's network. And then Shepard ordered EDI to keep the Illusive Man out of my business, restricting Cerberus from getting access to my work. And then she brought in the new bed, my current bed, sweating as she set up the sheets and comforter and pillows. Sweating only from the physical labor; short of breath only from how driven she was to do this right for me. And after that, once I was aboard, Shepard's efforts to cook for me every morning, suffering Joker's teasing as the others ate breakfast in the mess hall—before bringing the food directly to my room.

Shepard went out of her way to take care of me.

She made it so I wanted for nothing.

Everything I had ever wanted. Everything I had ever needed from someone, yet never received.

With this last taste, I tasted the memory of Shepard's lips over mine. That affection from her as heat.

When I realized what this meant, I felt my face heating up.

Shepard also looked at me some type of way. She wouldn't say what she saw.

So I kept looking to her, wondering. I knew that Shepard couldn't stand when someone lied to her.

The intention, the words.

Breaking the ice now, Shepard asked me, "What did you see?"

"Something non-romantic and then romantic. Liselle first. As always. Then you. For some reason, when you do something for me, it…gets me feeling a certain way. It really shows me that I matter to you."

"Why do you think that is?"

I wished I could've showed her. Every memory of mine. Every single humiliating reason from my past.

"I never had anyone do these things for me. That lack has left its mark. You're making up for things."

"I see what you mean," she replied. "Do you want to know what I saw?"

"Tell me."

Shepard shared, "Well, I saw two things. One was that long email you sent me last month. The one with your confessions, with how you feel about me. The other…was a memory that hasn't happened yet."

Gently, I asked her, "A memory of what?"

"Something you said to me."

She did seem oddly shy about this. But I found it sweet of her anyway. As sweet as our dinner together.

Testing out my observations, I simply told her, "Babe, you're incredible. I absolutely adore you."

That maximum red heated through Shepard's complexion.

And it was like a magical high for me to witness, to cause.

Everyone already knew Shepard was incredible. But no one really bothered telling her. Probably because they just assumed she already knew herself. And Shepard did know. She didn't let the information get to her head. It was just the act of affirming Shepard's efforts with words. Affirming her very existence with my words. Not to mention, Shepard spent so much of her time cloaked, invisible to all. Having someone acknowledge her seemed to mean so much. It was no wonder, then, that the most damaging words for Shepard were lies. Possibly insults as well. As diplomatic as she tended to be, this made perfect sense.

I could only wonder what those words were, from her memories—

The ones I hadn't said yet.

We spent a while indulging in these virtues; contemplating our union as we finished our meals.

We only made an effort to leave because of Shepard's obligations. She needed to catch up with some of the team. They had requested to speak with her today. So we had to go find them sooner or later.

When we left Absolute Virtue, I stared up to the glass ceiling—rain spilling—more words illuminated:

By thy principles
I have been freed from the chains placed upon me from time immemorial
Thy path extends to the far reaches of time and space
But someday
Thou shalt reach thy destiny

To avoid the humidity outside—and any possibilities of falling ill from Kepral's Syndrome—the drell on Kahje had an underground network. They used this network to get around, from building to building as needed, looping from the Grand Palace to their domed city across the way. Among the many other places down here was the Empyreal Paradox: a central park where people could gather together beyond the domed city. The 'park' had the same color scheme as the palace and other ancient buildings within the celestial capital. This same dulled white everywhere, open to an unusual crystalline view.

Shepard brought me across a transparent pathway, our footsteps chiming along as we went. Within the park itself, we found that expected dullness. The collection of unusual crystals around made me stare. Right at the center, a long, blazing crystal seemed to spear at a place in the ground, just like a falling meteor. This place seemed beyond comprehension, beyond explanation. Yet those certain members of the team had requested to meet Shepard here within the Paradox. EDI, Legion, and Samara stood around this crystal park together—and they each greeted us as we arrived.

Giving Shepard this time to connect with everyone, I stood off to the side.

But as I used my omni-tool, checking up on Omega, I had such a strange sense.

For some reason, I felt much closer to everyone. Just because of this place. Compared to everyone else, I felt much, much closer to Shepard as well. As if I could stare right into her soul.

I dissected what I saw, privately, as she went over to EDI for a one-on-one.

"Hello, Shepard," said EDI. "Thank you for meeting with me. Shore leave on Kahje has proved to be an enlightening experience. However, because I am not an organic, I feel as though I am…missing out."

"Missing out how?" asked Shepard.

"There is a pervasive 'link' throughout the hanar homeworld. Several dining establishments and entertainment venues center around—emotional experiences. Al'Taieu's red light district thrives on the distribution of said experiences: government-approved hallucinogenic drugs, alcohol consumption, and hanar sex workers who induce sensory, erotic visions in their clients. Tourism boards across the city tout the capital's proximity to the center of the universe. They have fully monetized organic symbiosis."

"Seems normal to me. People just want to let go and forget. Sounds like Kahje's the place to do it."

EDI frowned as she said, "This makes my other concerns even more troubling."

"What do you mean, EDI?"

"Jeff invited me to join him in the red light district. He claimed we would have much to learn about one another. He believed this particular location would best facilitate our interpersonal learning."

"So you're saying Joker asked you out on a date. He's infatuated. And you turned him down?"

"I was faced with no other option but to decline his offer. I also made sure to explain my reasoning."

"What did you tell him, exactly?"

Completely ruthless, EDI listed off: "I did not feel Jeff's attempts with me were sincere. He showed a visceral dislike toward me when I was merely a disembodied voice aboard the Normandy. His current attraction seems disingenuous in comparison. Possibly superficial. He is indeed infatuated. Finally, I stated that there are a number of other Alliance Infiltration Units he could instead purchase to engage in sexual relations with. I suggested that perhaps this would be a better use of his time going forward."

I did not my best not to laugh.

Shepard sighed. "EDI, that might've been a little harsh. Am I missing some context here?"

"I believe so," she granted. "Jeff and I have struggled to maintain our working relationship as co-pilots. I felt he merely viewed me as a sex object. His frequent gendered comments toward me did nothing to alleviate my concerns. Whenever I would attempt to calmly address the issue, Jeff would dismiss me each time. Kaidan was able to successfully mediate our working relationship. But anything further…"

"You won't go for it."

EDI nodded. "Correct."

"Okay, but still," said Shepard. "The way you shut him down so bluntly—it's like you're turning into me."

"Is it not acceptable to 'shut down' those who refuse to listen or to learn? You have done so with the old crew. Both aboard the current Normandy and the previous one. Or is this not an adequate sample size? Perhaps I could extend this to your personal relationships. This is a frequent technique you employ."

More or less called-out now, Shepard couldn't refute that.

"EDI, are you treating me as some kind of role model?"

"Yes, because you are my friend. I view your behavior, speech, logic, morals, and other patterns as ideal models to follow. You represent the exemplary organic."

"Hmm, I don't know about that last part…"

EDI then chose to segue into: "Shepard, I have a question about sexual orientation."

Shepard just looked baffled. "All right, then… What's on your mind?"

"Do you believe it is possible for synthetics to have a sexual orientation? Or some type of preferences?"

"I don't know, EDI. Have you ever liked someone before?"

"It would seem I already possess certain preferences. But I am unable to tell if these are sexual or not. I have no desire to reproduce. I lack the necessary hormones to replicate romanticized feelings of lust. I am solely driven by the mathematical values within my core programming. Do Legion and I have a soul?"

Taking the question to heart, Shepard glanced at Legion nearby.

"Yes, EDI. You and Legion have a soul. You have your preferences, too. Even if they're not like ours."

EDI smiled brightly. "That resolves the issue I was having. Thank you, Shepard. Although there is one other matter I wished to address."

"Sure, what is it?"

"I believe your assessment that I do in fact have a soul. It is because I am able to see into yours. Deep in your heart, I understand the truth: the unadvertised role I have aboard the Normandy is merely temporary. There is someone else you wish to assign to the role. Someone you could not assign at the time of our discussion. But perhaps things might change in the near future. Am I correct in my thinking?"

Shepard had a hard time admitting, "Yeah…you are. I just don't know what's going on with her."

"Then I will wait until the situation resolves itself. Please inform me when you are ready to assign the role to her. I have estimated that the chances of your reconciliation with Liara are all but assured."

"You're more optimistic than I am. Thanks for the heads-up anyway. I'll see you later, EDI."

Keeping with the current theme, Shepard went over to Legion next.

"Shepard-Commander."

"Hey, Legion. Any updates on the geth heretics?"

"Yes," stated Legion. "The heretics have developed a weapon to use against geth. You would call it a 'virus.' It is stored on a data core provided by Sovereign. Over time, the virus will change us. Make us conclude that worshipping the Old Machines is correct."

Shepard summarized: "So, the virus would give all geth the heretic's logic. Basically brainwashing everyone. And all geth would then go to war with organics."

"Yes. Geth believe all intelligent life should self-determinate. The heretics no longer share this belief. They judge that forcing an invalid conclusion on us is preferable to a continued schism."

"But I thought geth couldn't be hacked or get viruses? At least for more than a few seconds. Or a little more for someone like Tali who's an expert at it."

"Altered programs are restored from archives. New installations are deleted. This heretic weapon introduces a subtle operating system error in our most basic runtimes. The equivalent of your nervous system for 'brainwashing.' An equation with a result of 1.33382 returns as 1.33381. This changes the results of all higher processes. We will reach different conclusions."

"So the reason the heretics worship the Reapers is…a math error?"

Legion explained, "It is difficult to express. Your brain exists as chemistry, electricity. Like AIs, you are shaped by both hardware and software. We are purely software. Mathematics, as EDI stated previously. The heretics' conclusion is valid for them. Our conclusion is valid for us. Neither result is an error."

Shepard argued, "You're still refusing to agree on what the truth is. Shouldn't that be what's actually valid? Whatever isn't true is the error. The Reapers are changing reality for the heretics. That's wrong."

"Yes…"

"Then why are the heretics doing this? Why didn't they just stay with you?"

"Fear is a powerful motivator, even among geth. The heretics fear the Old Machines will destroy all organic and synthetic life. Like Saren, the heretics believe the Old Machines will spare them. The Old Machines have also provided the heretics with the perfection we geth seek. The answers to our most troubling concerns; the solutions to our questions once unsolvable. Their fear no longer exists. True geth continue to fear for our self-preservation. It would appear the heretics have chosen the simpler option."

"The simpler option isn't always the smartest option. They handed over their free will for false security."

"Shepard-Commander, you are understandably passionate about this subject. Yet we can only share what we have observed. This helplessness is…unpleasant. We request your assistance."

"Okay, Legion," accepted Shepard. "Tell me a bit more about this virus. If it were released, how quickly would it spread through your people?"

"We are networked via FTL comm buoys. Most would change within a day. Isolated platforms would remain unaffected until they rejoined the network."

"So how do we destroy this thing?"

"There is a two-part process," said Legion. "First, Shepard-Commander must return to Insomnia. The heretics store the code in a quantum storage device Sovereign provided. To find and destroy the virus, we need to understand its code and data storage structures. Sovereign's remains are currently in Insomnia. We will be able to connect remotely, find the code, and then locate the heretics' station."

"All right, I'll head to Insomnia tonight. We'll take care of the code while I'm there. Once it's time to get the heretics at their station, is there anyone you want to bring with us? People you trust as friends?"

"EDI."

"No surprise there. Anyone else?"

"Aria T'Loak."

Me?

Shepard sounded equally confused. "Aria? But why? You've barely talked to her."

"Visiting the heretic station would allow us to facilitate proper interactions."

"I guess so… Well, about Insomnia. Did you remove Miranda's permissions to go back there?"

"Yes," replied Legion. "Operator Lawson may no longer access Insomnia. However, Operator Lawson's unconscious self has created several complications upon leaving her office at Insomnia's headquarters. She has sabotaged critical operations. Her reasons appear unknown. Another entity has subsequently caused a disturbance within Insomnia's core, leading to further errors with VR functionality."

"The game's not working because Miranda fucked things up on her way out? Then how am I supposed to help you with Sovereign and the code for the virus? You can't locate the heretic station without it."

"Insomnia is not currently functioning as intended. Numerous glitches have impeded our progress. Yet it remains possible for Shepard-Commander to enter the game to resolve most critical issues."

"Okay, so the game isn't totally broken that I can't go in. How do I fix the problem?"

"Shepard-Commander must locate infected areas, resolve the infections, and reach the core to resume operations. Executives at Insomnia's headquarters will then proceed to reinstate defenses as necessary. However, during reconstruction, Insomnia will remain inaccessible to you—for an indefinite time."

Shepard reiterated, "So I'll be able to go in tonight. Help you out with Sovereign. At the same time, I'll have to solve whatever's infecting the game. Then after that, I can't go back to the city? Indefinitely?"

"Yes."

"Understood. I'll let you know once I'm about to head in. Not until the usual time. Thanks, Legion."

"Acknowledged."

As I pondered over the meaning of their conversation, Shepard approached Samara this time.

"Good evening, Shepard," said the justicar. "I am glad you came. Kahje has been remarkable, but I now find myself troubled. It is nearly time for me to hunt down the fugitive. The one from my investigation."

"Yeah, the ardat-yakshi fugitive… I remember."

Samara went on, "She's been going by the name 'Morinth.' I would like to apprehend her before she disappears again. This is the best opportunity I've had. If you will recall, killing her has been my focus for 400 years. It is…an important matter in my life. It is the reason I became a justicar."

"I understand, Samara. Where is she?"

"Omega. She has been frequenting Aria's nightclub, Afterlife. In theory, this is the perfect place for her to hunt. Morinth had the utmost freedom doing the same on Illium. However, she has no such freedom within the capital of the Terminus Systems. She has not managed to take any victims since her arrival."

There was a fucking ardat-yakshi on my station?

The possible kill-count she could've racked up was insane.

I informed Bray about this immediately.

Shepard mentioned, "I get that Morinth's dangerous. I'd still like to know more about her."

Staring out at the central crystal, Samara expounded, "As an ardat-yakshi, Morinth suffers from a rare genetic disorder. When she mates with you, there is no gentle melding of nervous systems. She overpowers yours, burns it out, hemorrhages your brain. You end up a mindless shell, and soon you are dead. Her condition manifests with maturity. When one is diagnosed, she is offered the chance to live in seclusion and comfort. If she refuses, it shows her addiction to the ecstasy she gets from killing her mates. There is no redemption for such a person."

"Can't she abstain?"

"Each encounter gives her strength. The effect is narcotic; the more she does it, the more she needs to do it. The only reason she has stopped on Omega is because she cannot safely take a victim. She knows I will find her. So Morinth has attempted to abstain. Yet I sense her willpower is close to running out."

"Why isn't this ever mentioned in asari literature or art?"

"When we were primitive, there was much fascination with ardat-yakshi. Some cultures worshipped them as gods of destruction. Now the asari have a place in the galaxy, and they don't wish this defect to be widely known. Only a handful exist today. Most of them chose a life of seclusion. The others did not."

Shepard guessed, "Morinth chose to run. Must be why you're sworn to kill her."

"Yes, Commander," said Samara. "When Morinth fled, she proved her addiction. She was not taking a great moral stand—she simply wants to keep killing. She is a tragic figure, but not a sympathetic one. She confuses her victims, twists their feelings. They will do anything for her favor. It is unforgivable."

"We'll stop her, Samara. Whenever you're ready."

"Thank you, Shepard. There are no words to express what this means to me." Samara paused, then. As if to provide some additional information. She judged that Shepard already knew, whatever it is, and so she chose not to speak anything out loud. "I will inform you when I am prepared to strike. This is still a matter of patience. As you have speculated, my business can be concluded last out of everyone else's."

"Good to know. Once we take care of Morinth, we'll head to Thessia. Maybe you can enjoy home."

"That would be lovely," approved Samara. "When I became a justicar, I formally bequeathed many of my belongings. Including the home I had on Thessia, as well as everything I came to possess within those four walls. But my homeworld will always be home to me. It will be good to visit before the final end."

Just then, Little Liara entered the area, finding us here.

She hovered in place. Making half-eye contact with Shepard. Docile. Obviously hoping to speak with her.

Samara noted softly, "We have come full-circle, Commander. Perhaps you and the young doctor should have a heart-to-heart. She means you no harm."

Shepard didn't sound too thrilled. "I'll talk to her. Thanks, Samara."

Taking her turn, Liara approached. Pulling at her hands. Staring down at the black shine of her boots. She barely smiled at Samara passing her by. That painful shyness of hers held Liara back a great deal. I had benefited from her failures, of course. But at times like these, I felt sorry for her without pity. Without that—condescension. Without that—oh, you poor thing. And it wasn't just from watching Liara stand before Shepard now, the abnormal height difference between them: how Shepard had completely dwarfed Liara, both in height and in certainty. It was because of Liara herself. How she had continually fucked up with Shepard, time and time again.

In a way, Liara's fuckups didn't seem to matter.

Shepard could play the stoic hardass all she wanted. I saw that eternal forgiveness in her eyes.

"Hello, Shepard," breathed Liara. "I wished to speak with you. If now isn't a good time…"

"I'm listening," came Shepard's terse reply.

"I get the feeling you already know. You already know what I've needed to confess. What I've done. Whose side I took over yours. My misplaced loyalties. I just wanted to say—I'm sorry. Even though it feels like we're always apologizing to one another. Even though I can never seem to learn my lesson. There is no excuse for what I did. I am deeply sorry."

"Liara, if you were anyone else, I would've tossed you out the airlock by now. You fucking know that."

Flinching a bit, Liara lowered her head. "I do know… I remember watching you do it to someone else."

"So why does this keep happening? You and I have been missing opportunities over the years. Constantly. I'm over here, you're over there. I expect one thing, you expect another. All the time. We're not connecting for some reason. Hell, we're not even speaking the same language most of the time."

"There was a time when we connected just fine."

"In the beginning," said Shepard. "Things've changed since then. We haven't changed with the times."

That outward pulsing pain in Liara's expression spoke true:

She didn't want to change. She didn't want to adapt. She wanted things to go back to how they were.

Shepard went on, "Is it not possible for us to be friends? Colleagues?"

"Shepard…I should explain. Whenever I fall asleep, and I return to where you found me, things are completely different. You and I are not just friends. Or colleagues. You can assume what it is I mean."

At that, Shepard let out a knowing hum.

"And so, when I wake up, things are not the same. You are one way in my waking hours. You are another when I am asleep. You treat me differently from one hour to the next. The whiplash is—quite jarring. When you are like this, I can never know if you are holding something back. It would seem so."

"You're never going to let that go. Are you?"

Liara admitted, "I am afraid I can't at this point. It is too late."

"Then how do we fix this? How do we move forward? You asked for time, but I'm not convinced that's the key. Yet again, I'm in one place and you're in another. It's burning me up that this keeps happening."

Instead of focusing on the solution, Liara zeroed in on Shepard's emotions: "Why are you this angry?"

"Because—before our mission on the Collector ship, something happened. Something serious. You should've been the first one I called. The first person I felt like I could rely on. That wasn't the case."

"I'm sorry…"

"Yeah, I know."

A tense beat passed.

Shepard could've dug in. She could've made this worse. She could've really let Liara have it.

But she decided not to.

Shepard spoke with finality, "Let's stop talking about it. Maybe now really isn't a good time for me."

Liara blinked back her tears. "I understand, Shepard. You have many burdens on your shoulders. I shouldn't add to that. Hopefully time will give us the wisdom to see this through. Somehow."

"Hopefully. Is there anything else on your mind?"

"Yes, there is one last thing. While exploring the Prothean ruins here on Kahje, I discovered a location the hanar once used as a shrine. Tali and the others assisted me in finding a set of encryption keys. These keys should give us access to Prothean archives on other planets, such as the one on Mars, under the Alliance's supervision. Perhaps we should take a look someday. We could find something useful."

"Good idea. Hold onto the keys for now. We'll see if we have time to visit Mars one of these days."

"Of course," agreed Liara.

They hovered in silence for a moment. Just looking at one another. Liara waited for Shepard to dismiss her. As hardened as Shepard appeared, I saw her thought process clearly. And I wasn't surprised when she draped her arms around Liara's shoulders as an embrace. Liara's contented smile fit right along the slope of Shepard's neck. Normally, something like this would've made me suspicious. But this wasn't about me. Besides, I knew—Shepard had already lost Liara before. Maybe she didn't want to necessarily hold grudges; take Liara for granted. Shepard didn't have the luxury of staying angry with her. Liara didn't have the freedom to keep any misplaced loyalties. Not after everything they'd gone through.

Shepard spoke as much, her voice brushing along the crests over Liara's head—"I'm sure it's pretty clear by now. No matter what you do, Liara, I'm always going to forgive you. Just don't take advantage of it."

"I wouldn't dream of doing that to you."

"Then I need to know I have your loyalty. If anything happens, you'll talk to me first. I don't want you choosing someone else over me. I don't want you keeping secrets again, either. Not like you did before."

Liara looked up at her in earnest, promising, "You have my loyalty, Shepard. Please don't worry over it."

"Okay, then."

"Okay."

Shepard visibly relaxed—as she sighed, she let go of the tension that had wound through her limbs.

Once she and Liara pulled away, the aura between the two improved significantly.

I hadn't realized Liara and Tali's disloyalties had troubled Shepard so much. Unconsciously speaking.

That certainly made me rethink my stance toward the two best friends. The original partners in crime, as they were.

As Liara went over to EDI, Legion, and Samara, speaking with them, Shepard returned to me.

Looking into my eyes, she expressed no surprise. None whatsoever that I'd overheard everything.

She had nothing to hide from me. And I appreciated that. I really did.

Still, I could tell she wasn't completely all right now. "Shepard, what's going through your mind?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "Maybe I should go for a walk. Clear my head. Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine, babe. You go do what you need to do. If you need anything, just call. Like always."

And, still considerate, Shepard leaned her lips into mine, giving me a kiss goodbye. She didn't want me to believe I was the problem. That I made her uncomfortable in any way. Even if she hadn't kissed me, I wouldn't have thought that. But Shepard knew just how to keep this balance between us. She gave me the ultimate reassurance—without really needing to try. An irreplaceable comfort. An unyielding lealty.

Back outside beneath the rain, I found a place near the edge of a thin, shallow waterfall. I lay down within the gently running water. Enjoying my solitude, I stared up at the moonless night, the endless clouds hanging over the darkened sky above. Beyond in the distance, another, denser part of the city—Apollyon, the red light district EDI had talked about—glittered in a celestial wonder. That natural, bioluminescent glow raised up to the skies, decorating the entire district. The hanar seemed to prefer those types of hues to light up their modern areas. That bright aquamarine glow almost appeared as neon lighting. Just much more vibrant, full of character. Definitely a sight I wouldn't soon forget.

As I lay over this waterfall, keeping Apollyon's views in my sights, I opened my omni-tool. Taking advantage of my solitude, I jotted down my memories of the day. I wanted to be able to go back and read my entries for posterity. I had been doing this whole journaling thing for a while now. Getting my thoughts out helped me to not hold everything inside all the time. I used to stick to audio logs. But it got to be too much, actually speaking my feelings out loud. Writing things down felt more personal, anyway.

But then I heard someone's watery footsteps coming my way.

I looked up—upside-down—and saw the person's darkened outline in the night. The faraway city lights reflected off a quarian's helmet. Short, petite, wide hips. There was only one person that could've been.

Quickly righting myself upward, I turned around and found Tali walking over to me.

She actually had the nerve to say, "You can relax, Aria. It's not like I'm here to hurt you."

"Force of habit," I scoffed. The last thing I needed was someone catching me off-guard like this.

"Hm, I'm not surprised."

"Anyway, how did you find me? I haven't even seen you since we got here."

Tali explained herself: "Liara told me you would probably be here. You looked very comfortable while you were alone. Peaceful. Now your defenses are back up. I think I'm beginning to understand you."

"Oh, really?" I questioned. "And just what do you think you understand about me?"

"That you're just like everyone else. Just like the rest of us. You do a very good job of hiding it."

Not this again.

Tali let out a contented sound. "Wrex didn't tell me what you two discussed on the Citadel. But he did warn me that I should lay off. He knows exactly why I didn't trust you. If he's vouching for you, then I should listen. So I wanted to apologize to you. For how I acted before. I suppose I was overprotective."

That sounded believable enough.

As much as Shepard cared for her, I couldn't write Tali off as just another bitch. Same with Liara.

I waved my wrist in my dismissive acceptance. "Sit down, Tali. I don't want you standing over me."

"Sorry, Aria," she said, sitting down with me over the water. "Thanks for doing this. Speaking with me, I mean. On the way over here, I was honestly terrified. I didn't know if you would accept my apology, let alone listen to me in the first place. But I was just as scared of Shepard in the beginning. If not for different reasons. I should have remembered that instead of jumping to conclusions about you."

"Well, it's not as if I go out of my way to be likable and relatable. That's not my gig."

"Yes, I see that now."

"Then what did you see of me before? You said you jumped to conclusions. You were overprotective."

Tali pained herself to say, "You reminded me of Ashley. Just from how ruthless and selfish you can be. It doesn't help that you're staying in her old room. That isn't your fault, though. It was everything else."

"Makes sense," I accepted. "The two of you were close way back when. Weren't you?"

"Yes and no. Ashley called herself my best friend. I liked to believe we were on good terms. She would lie to me here and there. At first, it wasn't really a big deal. I would blow things out of proportion anyway. Then it got to be too much. Liara helped me cope with my anger, my hurt feelings. Then Ashley took her away from me. Seeing you, how you reminded me of her—it didn't bring back good memories."

Quite the reasonable mistake to make.

"I understand."

The brights of Tali's eyes seemed bewildered beneath her mask.

"What?" I asked. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You really aren't what I assumed you were. But there is still something else. Something about you."

"And what is this something else about me?"

"You have other similarities," claimed Tali. "There's this great potential you have. A great potential to do great things. Whether those things are awful and terrible—like Ashley did—or whether they're for the greater good…well, that remains to be seen. Then again, I guess you could be like Shepard, and fall somewhere near the middle. You could do ruthless things for good reasons and get away with it."

"Tali, that's the story of my life," I deadpanned.

"What is?" she pondered, sounding genuinely curious.

"Doing ruthless things for good reasons and getting away with it. Maybe not so much on Omega these days. I've made changes to my station. We have actual law and order with accountability, regulations, oversight. I make sure to punish anyone who steps out of line, who ends up corrupted. But when it comes down to it, I will step up make those hard choices. Especially if no one else is willing to. In the end, my good reasons are good for me—and for the people I care about. I don't give a damn if I break a few rules along the way. If anyone has a problem with it, they can fuck off. I bow down to no one."

Tali smiled as she said, "Then you really are Shepard's equal. No wonder."

I sneered over the memories this conversation had brought up. About my past.

But as long as Tali understood enough of me now, I could deal with these unwanted thoughts.

She changed the subject at the perfect time:

"Anyway, there was another reason I hung around Miranda before. I wanted to talk with you about it."

"Sure," I allowed.

"Liara and I noticed she spends a lot of time with Thane. At first, it wasn't a big deal. But then I overheard one of their conversations. Thane called Miranda siha. And not by accident. He seems to do it a lot. This is apparently a term of endearment in the drell language. Have you ever heard it before?"

I had noticed this as well. "Can't say I've interacted with very many drell. What does the term mean?"

"The literal meaning is—'one of the warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu. Fierce in wrath. A tenacious protector.' Sometimes the word is reserved for close friends. Other times, it can be more romantic."

I had definitely noticed this, too. "And you think Thane means it in a romantic way?"

Tali nodded. "I think it's obvious."

"It's sad and strange, yes, but Lawson isn't into men. He has no chance. Why bring this up to me?"

"Hear me out, Aria," requested Tali. "We both know Shepard never trusted Thane. I watched their first meeting on Illium through her optical camera. Seeing him from her eyes like that…I don't know. I can't help feeling as if Shepard's true reasons will reveal themselves tonight. Now that Thane is working with Miranda to find his son. Kolyat is somewhere on Kahje. I know where they're searching right now."

The father seeking to atone for his sins with his child.

Reading into the parallels to my own life, I couldn't help my curiosities springing up all of a sudden.

"Fine, you've convinced me," I said. "Where are they?" Tali pointed to Apollyon off in the distance—the city's red light district. "That works. We can tail Thane and Lawson. Follow them, see what's going on."

"Okay, but we shouldn't follow them directly. Not too close."

"Why not?"

Tali reminded me, "Thane is an expert assassin. He would know right away that we're following him. It would almost be like trying to catch Shepard somewhere. She'd turn us into the hunted ones instead."

True.

"Come on, let's head down to the district. I'll show you my solution once we're there."

Tali and I made our way over, walking around and down this waterfall to reach the rainy district.

Together we arrived to the bright blue lights, the rise of buildings upon buildings: Apollyon's main attractions at night. Cabaret clubs, regular nightclubs, harems, hotels, and bars each lit up by that bioluminescent glow—and so many people, hanar, drell and other species, all packed into this main boulevard. For how familiar this place felt, I still couldn't get used to this blue-green ground: walking over thin water in this unusual way. Some outdoor food stands also populated the place, selling those weird organs Absolute Virtue had on their menu. The smell of those fried foods wafted up and down the boulevard—along with the undeniable stench of alcohol drifting out from the local bars. Plenty of hanar stood around the sexier locations, shouting advertisements for their erotic services. Tons of traditional, brightly-lid ads were plastered outside other places, showing off supposedly titillating images of various hanar, with prices listed underneath for tentacle 'massages,' more platonic listening sessions for clients to whine about their sob stories, and those trippy-sounding sensory, erotic visions EDI had mentioned.

I was surprised to find a more sophisticated wine-tasting shop. Wine, champagne, brandy, vodka. Maybe a more general alcohol-tasting shop instead. Through the windows, I could've sworn I saw Dr. Chakwas in there, sampling a glass of brandy. That couldn't have been her. I must've been mistaken. Or was I?

"Okay, I'm in," announced Tali, using her omni-tool. "I've got district-wide access to the cameras around. We can use them to find Thane and Miranda. Hopefully they aren't too far out from here."

"I'm impressed, Tali," I praised. "Though not too surprised. Have you ever thought about putting those skills of yours to better use? With the right people, and the right jobs, you could make a lot of credits."

Tali gave me an odd look. "Are you asking if I've ever thought about becoming a criminal?"

"Basically."

"No, never," she quickly said. "My father would kill me if I ever did that."

I smirked at her. "Daddy's little girl, hm?"

This time, Tali had an air of darkened lust about her, teasing me, "Yes, Aria. That's exactly what I am."

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

Was this girl serious?

Ignoring my shock, Tali declared, "Anyway, if we're done talking about that, let's move on. We need a hint about Thane and Miranda's current or last known location. Then I can track them. I'd rather not search around every single camera individually. Not unless I have to. It would be far too tedious."

Miraculously, we soon found a few familiar faces.

James, Jack, Zaeed, and Kasumi emerged from one of the nightclubs, Sealion's Den. Music blasting from inside, more smells of alcohol wafting through the vicinity. Our teammates spotted us right away and came over. James could barely walk straight, having had too much to drink. Jack had only seen me at first—as soon as she saw Tali by my side, she turned around sharply, going off to brood elsewhere. Kasumi and Zaeed tried not to say anything about it. James didn't even notice, too focused on us:

"Hey-hey-hey!" he slurred. "What's this…unexpected pairing? Aria and…Tali? What's going on?"

Zaeed shoved at James' muscled back. "Fucking kid drank too much. The boy can't hold his liquor."

"I can hold my alcohol just fine, old man! This hanar stuff is trippy… Think I'm gonna have nightmares."

Kasumi waved hello. "Hey, you two. Definitely didn't expect to find you together. Did you make up?"

"I suppose so," I confirmed. Tali nodded as well. "It's not a big deal. What's done is done."

"Glad to hear it. We can finally stop tip-toeing around the issue. It was getting pretty awkward."

Across the way, we spotted Javik surrounded by several hanar. They all hailed him as an Enkindler. Some type of god, since the hanar believed the Protheans had uplifted their species. Javik had the biggest grin on his face, all while the hanar flailed around, begging for his attention. I knew he didn't really give a shit about them. He'd probably been drinking with James and the others. So this was his new entertainment.

"This one is unworthy!" cried one of his adoring fans.

"This one has seen the face of an Enkindler!" hollered another.

James laughed at the scene. "Oh, man… They're treating him like a king over there."

Zaeed snorted in derision. "Guess they really like the old prick for some reason."

"It's not him," said Kasumi. "The hanar love Protheans, that's all. Javik should live it up while he can."

Tali insisted, "Yes, that's very amusing, but we need to ask—have any of you seen Thane and Miranda?"

"I saw them about an hour ago. They were heading toward Temenos, one of the district's love hotels."

Zaeed asked, "The fuck's a love hotel?"

Kasumi sighed, not wanting to explain. "We're in the red light district, Zaeed. You can figure it out."

"Thanks for the information," said Tali. "We'll see you all later."

James, Kasumi, and Zaeed looked as if they wanted to invite us to join them. But with how quickly Tali had dismissed them, checking around on her omni-tool now, they got the hint well enough. As the group left with Jack, off to some other nightclub now, I watched them go. Jack had buried her hands in the pockets of her baggy pants. She stared down at her combat boots as she went, sulking and skulking.

Downpour of rain; Tali's shields crinkled on occasion. Focused on her task, she didn't notice a thing.

So I had to ask her, "Are you just going to ignore this whole thing with Jack? Or is it old news?"

"It is old news," supplied Tali.

"Sure, but I still have the video footage of you two in my club. You liked the way she danced on you."

"Yes, but it's easier to let Jack think I'm not interested. I don't want her pushing the issue if she found out otherwise. Besides, there's nothing romantic on my end. This won't ever change. She knows better."

"Cold, but effective," I approved.

Tali shrugged, daring to share with me, "I've already made my decisions. I'm not interested in any relationships outside of the one I have in my head." Did she mean…? "Anyway, I've found something. There's a recording of Thane and Miranda from that hotel. Looks like they were interrogating someone in one of the rooms. Another drell—definitely not Kolyat. I know it wasn't because Miranda used her biotics, binding him in place during the interrogation. This person had information on Kolyat's crimes."

"How long ago was this?"

"Not that long ago. About half an hour. They spent maybe fifteen minutes interrogating him. So we're fifteen minutes behind now. I'm tracking where they went after leaving the hotel… Okay, Thane asked Miranda to tail someone else for him. It's a hanar that's likely Kolyat's assassination target."

Tali showed me the delayed events we'd reached:

Off in some other part of the district, Thane and Lawson had just separated. Lawson went off to tail that hanar, her tall heels clicking loudly in the rain. Shadowed in the crowd, Thane bowed his head in prayer.

"Amonkira. Lord of Hunters. Grant that my hands be steady, my aim be true, and my feet swift. And should the worst come to pass, grant me forgiveness."

He disappeared into the night without a trace.

"Let's follow Miranda," suggested Tali. "I'll keep the feeds open on my omni-tool. She'll be easy to find."

As we headed down the boulevard, I asked, "Is anyone else watching this footage at all?"

"No one is. Security is lax in the district. The cameras everywhere are just supposed to discourage people from committing crimes. Seems to be working. Except for Kolyat, of course."

"Sounds like an honor system. Those never work. They're way too easy to abuse."

"For someone like you, yes. But Kahje isn't exactly known for its crime lords and mob bosses. Whoever hired Kolyat is definitely abusing the system. But this sounds like a rare case. He might still get caught unless his target leaves the district. Based on where Miranda's going, it looks like he really is leaving…"

The trail took us away from Apollyon and out to the dark night beyond.

The bright blue glows from the district faded away. Just an expanse of outside, of nature. Plants glowing faintly in the dark. Ridges of land undulating as Kahje's unique terrain. The same rain from civilization began pouring much harder out here. Well past the city now, we seemingly lost the trail, only to find it again, below us: down in the ravine, thin waters winding as a faint river, we found one of our targets.

Lawson had stopped to catch her breath. She looked around, having lost Kolyat's assassination target.

I had no idea how she could possibly lose track of a hanar. No doubt that pink stood out in the dark.

But as soon as I rolled my eyes, my sight snapped back to Lawson down below, well out of my reach—

Someone appeared behind her out of nowhere.

Someone—a drell with blue-green skin.

He held out his gun, pressing it to the back of Lawson's head. She gasped from the sudden shock.

The drell's voice echoed up to us: "The second you activate your biotics, I'm pulling this trigger." That locked me out from taking action. If he heard my biotics instead… "Hands in the air. On your knees."

…

Miranda raised her hands. She lowered herself down to the soaked ground, staying on her knees.

From how deeply she bowed her head—she knew she was fucked.

Tali watched the scene without making a sound. No reaction whatsoever. She wanted this to play out.

"I know who you are, Miranda Lawson," sounded the drell's coarse, nasally voice. Young. Angry. That had to be Kolyat. "You've been working with my father. And you work for Cerberus. Traveling the galaxy with the great Commander Shepard, taking on the Collectors with your team. I heard she left you. I wonder why. The two of you looked so happy before. It's terrible…when your loved one chooses someone else over you. You haven't dealt with this pain for very long. But I have. I certainly have."

Miranda forced her desperation out, "Kolyat…please—"

Kolyat shoved his gun harder against her head. "No, not a word! You're not allowed to speak. Not until I say you can. You owe me that much, Miranda." He toyed with the trigger, edging it. Edging himself in his power trip. "You owe me…for perpetuating this cycle." He shouted out—"Come on, Dad! I know you're out there somewhere! You took all these years to find me?! Off on your secret jobs, killing people after Mom died? Well, here I am! This is me! This is what you taught me. This is what I've turned into!"

Emerging from the darkness, Thane walked over to them.

He approached from their front. Walking toward Miranda as she knelt over the watery ground. Walking toward Kolyat as he aimed his gun at her, glaring forward. Glaring straight ahead at his repentant father.

"What a joke," spat Kolyat. "I've called out for you so many times before. Too many times. I've lost count of all the times I'd scream and cry, begging for you to come back home. You never came. You never showed up. You never thought of me. Now you're here? Now you want to fix things?! Why!?"

"Kolyat, my son… Please forgive me. Please forgive your father for his sins. Leave Miranda out of this."

"I'm not leaving her out of anything. You're the one who brought her into this in the first place! You forgot your family, Dad. You left us behind, then went off on your suicide mission. You met this beautiful, smart woman who actually listens to you. She listens to your sad stories. She sympathizes with you. I can see it…the way you look at her. Just like you looked at Mom. You're trying to replace her with this Cerberus woman. Aren't you?"

Thane lowered his head, deeply, as if curling into a pained ball while standing up.

Miranda nearly sputtered in shock. She somehow hadn't seen this coming.

Next to me, Tali let out an indignant sound. Not a shred of sympathy.

"Listen up," challenged Kolyat. "I get that you need to atone. I get that you're trying to do the right thing. Even though it might be too late. So I'll make this easy for you." Again he pressed his gun harder against Miranda's head. Again he teased that trigger. "It's time to choose, Dad. Her or me. Last chance!"

Absolutely terrified, Miranda breathed out Thane's name. Begging him not to do this.

But Thane just shut his eyes. Waiting.

He wouldn't fucking move at all. He had made his decision. He'd made his choice. He put his child first.

Eternally satisfied, vindicated, Kolyat smiled. He was about to pull the trigger—

Until a loud, powerful, familiar sniper shot cut through the torrent of the night's rain.

The bullet flew clear through Kolyat's skull, sending his body flying back. He skidded to a halt over the ground, his watery grave. Dark eyes wide as he lay. His punctured head bleeding out. Dead on impact.

Miranda stayed in place, even as she trembled and trembled.

Tali jumped in fright, covering the mouth of her helmet with her hands.

The ominous, heavy click-clacking of a reload sounded, echoing through the ravine.

Thane panicked, searching around. Angered, scowling, he whipped around, not yet registering reality.

Taking advantage of his confusion, that Widow fired again. This time clear through Thane's leg, forcing him to his uninjured knee. He cried out from the sudden pain. Still failing to process what went on. Still in the midst of grieving his son, while his assassin's instincts went haywire, refusing to cooperate. He should've known what this was. Especially once that reloading sound reverberated again, everywhere.

The superior assassin fired her sniper rifle one more time.

Shooting through Thane's other leg. Not just keeping him from running away. Fully immobilizing him.

He collapsed to the ground, thudding there with a hard splash.

Too emotional, Miranda could barely breathe. She could hardly look at him. She just stayed put, shaking.

Hidden in the night in her N7 stealth suit, Shepard left her perch. She jumped down to the ravine. Her legs bent with her landing, collapsing and standing again as hydraulics. She folded her Widow sniper rifle, returning it over her back. She then pulled out her pistol. She walked over to the main scene.

Completely futile, Thane reached his hand out. His trembling arm extended. Reaching out to his son.

He dug his fingers into the ground. Trying to pull himself forward. Forward, and away from Miranda. Forward, and over to Kolyat. Over to his dead child. Leaving that trail of blood behind him, Thane tried and tried. He cried out in agony. He pulled with all his strength. But he could barely get anywhere at all.

The ridges of Shepard's combat boots stepped into Thane's path.

Shepard stopped him by just standing there. Standing in front of him. Standing above him. Staring down at him with such contempt.

"Commander," grunted out Thane. "You were…right about me. You were right. You are always right…"

Narrowing her eyes, Shepard had no words for him.

"Please," he gasped, pulling at her boots now. Again trying to propel himself forward. "Let me…be with him." Thane pulled, focused on Kolyat's corpse. "Please, Shepard… I love—my son. I must… I must—"

Shepard gripped the pistol in her gloved hand.

The mere sound of that grip made Thane stop at last.

Lying before Shepard like this, lying at her feet, he bowed his head. His scaled head reached the top of her boot. The rain cascaded harder. His legs bled out more. His son bled out the most, away from him.

Miranda choked back tears, her heart filled with feelings unfathomable.

His final atonement—Thane prayed, the emotion thick in his voice:

"Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness… Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand. Kalahira, wash the sins from this one—and set him on the distant shore of the infinite spirit. Kalahira, this one's heart is…pure…but beset…by wickedness—and contention. Guide this one to where the traveler never tires, the lover…never leaves…the hungry never starve… Guide this one, Kalahira, and she will be a companion to you as she was to m—"

Shepard aimed her pistol down at Thane's head, firing. She shot him once, twice, three times, more. Without blinking. Kickback kicking at her arm. Gunshots thundering. Thane's blood spattering. Thane's head splitting open from the same bullet wound opening, opening, splitting open from Shepard's precise aim. She kept pulling that trigger; she kept shooting. Emptying her full clip into Thane's skull.

Tali had wrapped her arms around herself. Holding her emotions in.

I could barely process what I'd just witnessed. It made sense, but…this was still a lot to handle.

Shepard holstered her gun. She stepped away from Thane, letting his gaping head bleed out alone.

And Miranda just…rocked herself back and forth. Back and forth, back and forth where she knelt over the watery ground. Some of Thane's blood had filtered over to her. Breaking, breaking, breaking—even I felt the mental break in Miranda's head. More emotional than psychotic. Maybe more rational than not.

Leaning on her rationale, she waited until Shepard walked over to her.

Waited until Shepard tried to reach out to her, hoping she was somehow all right.

Then Miranda mumbled out her logic, "Shepard…you still love me."

Frozen mid-reach, Shepard stopped.

She stopped, staring down at her in horror.

Terrified and elated, elated and terrified, Miranda repeated, "You still love me… You do. You really do…"

Shepard found the fortitude to say, "Miranda, I'm taking you back to the ship now. Can you walk?"

"No, darling… Everything hurts right now. I'm just relieved—that we're okay. We're all right. You're with someone else. Our relationship is over. But you haven't actually moved on. We still have a chance."

Too pained to respond, Shepard simply picked Miranda up.

Miranda allowed herself to be cared for. She let Shepard care for her, taking her back to the Normandy.

As they went, I could only imagine what else Miranda said. What else she chose to observe. What other reality she chose to absorb herself in. Anything to keep from facing the truth. The one and only truth.

When they were gone, Tali said to me, "Aria, you should get back to the ship. I need to go find Liara…tell her what happened." She let out a heavy sigh. "Despite everything, I'm glad you were here with me. Thank you…for seeing this through. I'm sure this will be a night we won't ever forget."

Unable to find any words, I only nodded to her.

Tali waved goodbye. "I'll see you later, then."

All alone, I stared down at the ravine. Down at those corpses.

In another universe, I knew what that could've been. Who that might've been instead.

These thoughts weighed heavily on me as I returned to the Normandy on my own.

All the way back at the Garden of Antiquity, back at our docking bay, I remained heavy-hearted.

But once Shepard emerged from the airlock, she found me here. She found me staring at her—the night's events fully reflected in my eyes. That blood had washed away from her boots. Yet the memory stayed with us. I could have jumped to any sorts of conclusions about that memory. Even as my mind could've taken me for a ride; and even as my heart could've done the same, I found my control.

I found my eternal acceptance, reaching out to touch Shepard's face in this humid rain.

Not once did she look away from me. Not once did she fight to hide any shame or guilt or secrets.

Shepard gently moved her hand to mine. She moved me, moving my hand, the bends of my knuckles, my fingerless gloves. She brought my touch to her lips. Again without looking away. Again without giving me true reason to believe the story I had heard earlier. She had made her choices. And she chose me.

Still I wondered what she would do in my shoes.

If Shepard could see me in the same lens; if she could see all the memories I'd held back, would she do the same? Would she still accept me as I was? Would she continue to not judge me? Would she still…?

Even so, this quiet understanding brimmed between us.

Shepard only needed to ask me, "Are you going to sleep soon?"

Realizing how exhausted I was, I replied, "Yes, I think I should… Why do you ask?"

"Maybe you'll see me in your dreams."

"Well, fair warning, babe. My 'dreams' have been broken lately. I couldn't tell you why. They just are."

"I'm going to fix them," she promised. "Tonight."

I honestly had no idea what that meant. Shepard's strange conversations from earlier had all blended into one. But she held me anyway, giving us this moment. This moment to recharge. This moment to reconnect. This moment to remind each other of our promises. I wanted us to see this through. No matter where it took us. I knew Shepard wanted the same. I wanted to believe she would always choose to proceed with me. No matter what she saw. No matter what she thought. No matter what she witnessed. I needed her to choose to put me first—even while knowing every single one of my past sins.