And I'm back! Sorry I went AWOL, it was an intense finals week. Hope you guys enjoy!

P.S. BridieM it's been so nice watching you work your way through the story! Thank you for all your nice reviews!

BPOV

Once we returned back to our home, I couldn't stop thinking about the way I had seen Charlie. I missed him so much. I wanted him back in my life, but I knew that it wasn't possible anymore. There were rules we had to abide by and I wouldn't risk Charlie's life for the sake of my selfishness. But when I saw him, the look of despair on his face, it looked like he had the life sucked out of him.

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me when I saw that look.

I had caused that look. I was the reason he was in pain, and it killed me. I wanted Charlie to know he had a granddaughter now, that in spite of everything I had found happiness. Now that I had a daughter, I wondered questioned my initial assessment, would time really heal this wound? Would he ever get to a point where he could genuinely smile and laugh again? Would he ever be the same Charlie I once knew?

I didn't think so. Which begged the question, was there even the slightest chance that he could be brought back into my life? Was there a possibility that he could know I had somehow survived? I knew the answer to these questions, it wasn't possible. It would be immeasurably selfish to risk Charlie's life. Was it even more selfish of me to continue to let him believe I was dead? At this point, I couldn't tell.

But if there was one thing I had learned in my time both as a human and as an immortal, life wasn't worth living without having your family. That was the only thing that kept me fighting against the insurmountable odds.

Surely he would hate me for lying to him in such a cruel way, but at least that way he could at least move on. At least he wouldn't have to continue to mourn me. He would have closure knowing that I had survived and that he hadn't lost a daughter.

I watched my daughter sleeping peacefully and I couldn't stop thinking about my own parents. Renee had someone to care for her and from what Esme had told me she had been handling everything as well as can be expected. She had Phil to help pick up all of the pieces. But Charlie was all alone. The contentment I took in isolation was an inherited trait, while he had promised that he wouldn't push everyone away, Charlie was as comfortable in loneliness as I was. Was there anyone taking care of him? Did he still go fishing with Billy or did he sit home alone on Saturday mornings just staring at the window swept up in a current of recollection.

There were so many things I wished I could say to them, and then followed ache that I couldn't say anything to them.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Edward asked, voice low and soft.

I sighed and nodded wordlessly. Edward wrapped his arms around me. I couldn't shake the gut feeling that leaving Charlie in that state of despair wasn't for the best.

A month passed quietly.

We watched as Renesmee changed from a small toddler to a child. She looked more like a five year old rather than a few months old. It was like I would look away for a second only to reveal an older version of my daughter. As much as I loved watching her grow up, it was a bittersweet feeling. We knew that she would reach immortality around her seventh year, but she was growing up so quickly, I could hardly stand to not be around her without worrying about missing some major milestone. In her first week alone she had spoken her first word and which followed with a fully formed sentence. All of her milestones followed that pattern, she stood up on her own for the first time and then walked over to me with no issue. It was incredible to watch, but also made me wish she could stay that little for a while.

A about a day ago, Renesmee and I were sitting on the couch when Alice had lost her ability to see my future, just like when I was pregnant with Renesmee.

At first we weren't certain, maybe it was just a fluke? Alice had been having all sorts of issues seeing around Renesmee.

I never said this to Alice, but her visions weren't always the most concrete as of now. I couldn't completely negate her visions, Alice had been getting better at seeing around Renesmee but it still proved to be difficult for her. The heartbeat that started fluttering from inside me was pretty conclusive evidence.

Edward and I were excited, but we couldn't deny that it wasn't the best timing.

It created more anxiety about the danger lurking just beyond the corner. All of the threats and loose ends we had yet to face. Our new addition pushed Edward into an overzealous protective mode that was difficult to pull him out of. And while it had been made clear that we wouldn't go chasing after Victoria or Laurent, I was constantly worried about Edward making a rash decision. I was going to talk to him tonight when we put Renesmee to sleep, about everything and to try to ground him before he did something without thinking.

I had been sitting on the couch with Edward's hand in mine as he traced patterns into my palm. Just when I was about to say something I heard our family begin to approach. Seconds later Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper walked into our living room.

"Bella, the guys are going to go hunting tonight. Do you mind if we keep you company tonight?" Alice asked.

"Of course not," I said, I couldn't deny that it was slightly strange, but I enjoyed the company of Alice and Rose and I didn't want to come off rude by questioning the offer. My eyes flickered to Edward, but he maintained a nonchalant expression.

After they left it only took a little bit of badgering for them to confess what they were actually doing here, not that I minded them here, but I knew that there was something that they were omitting. Edward, Emmett, and Jasper had gone to track Victoria. A cold dread washed through me. It irked me to no end that he was putting himself and members of our family in danger.

"He's trying to keep you two safe," Alice said, trying to keep me calm.

"Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior," I replied sarcastically.

I couldn't just sit around while Edward was out taking all of the risks. Despite the overwhelming worry and anxiety I felt, I also couldn't deny the anger at him for lying to me in the first place. Angrily, and perhaps pettily, I decided to leave him a voicemail letting him know what was awaiting him at home. Unfortunately my phone was dead, so I used Rosalie's. After I had told him not to try to do this alone, he went anyway. I began to pace the floor in a helpless frustration.

"Please stop pacing, you're creating a draft," Alice interrupted. I abruptly stopped, not having realized that I was moving at vampire speed instead of human speed and joined them on the couch. I was extremely grateful Renesmee was asleep already, I didn't have it in me to keep my expressions in check for her right now.

"I know you're frustrated that he's keeping you locked up like this, but don't give him too bad a time when he gets back. He loves you more than you know. It terrifies him to be away from you two, but he wants the two of you- three now, to be safe," Rosalie gently defended Edward.

I couldn't even really be mad at him, I understood the protective instincts that could overcome us. I just didn't want it to consume Edward. I knew given a chance he would sacrifice himself without a second thought if it meant keeping us safe. But our bond had us inextricably tied together, you cut one and you cut both.