Here I am, as promised.
I know it's been a lot of time, but I reread my fic and I wanted to give it closure.
First chapter up. Hope you will join us in this journey.
It was four in the morning, or maybe two, or maybe three.
Derek smiled to himself, it was not really important.
He was up in the middle of the night and he really didn't care.
He didn't even care that it wasn't sex or an amazing surgery to keep him sleep deprived.
It was a bundle of pure love and joy.
Michael Derek Shepherd.
Five days young or old, blue eyes, chubby cheeks, toothless smile.
Did newborns really smile or it was more a milk induced high?
Derek smiled again patting his son's chest. It was not really important.
His house, home, his wife and their child was all that mattered, all that he had ever wanted.
And he was now holding it all.
He was sitting in the wide, comfortable rocking chair they had placed in the nursery.
A towel was resting on his shoulder, ready for Michael's night meal and the following burp.
Derek sent a furtive glance to the clock: 1.32 am.
It was not so late after all. His son had the power to stop time.
Shepherd had arrived home very late, around midnight.
He had taken a week leave after the happy event but Harris Dawson's case could not wait.
The neurosurgeon sighed. He was living one of the happiest, most fulfilling period of his life in the same moment other families were going through hell.
When Hunt had called to update him on the situation and briefed him, Derek had accepted to go to the hospital and work things out. He was still convinced surgery could save the kid's life and was ready to face every medical commission and enquiry stating the different. This was what was going on those days.
Mr. Long, the insurance delegate, hadn't joked.
Jointly with the Board, Hunt, mrs. Smile and Harris' family they had set up a plan, started the machine and the answer of the company had arrived immediately.
"Michelle" Derek smiled and stood, crossing the conference room to welcome his patient's mother. He strongly shook her hand and patted her shoulders, making eye contact and trying to give some strength to this young widow, mum and woman. "I want to introduce you to dr. Hunt, our Chief of surgery" he said pointing to his colleague "and mrs. Smile, our lawyer"
"Nice to meet you all" the woman said weakly, shaking hands and feeling overwhelmed by all the people in the room. Derek offered her a chair and she sat, closing the sweater tightly across her chest. Shepherd noticed her knuckles going white for the tension.
"So…" he said sitting down near Michelle "I called you here today as I still own you an answer and I'm sorry we had you wait so long" he smiled, leaning against the chair .
"It's ok" Michelle sighed, her eyes darting on all the people in the room, a bad feeling in her gut. "I know Harris' case is not something all hospitals are happy to deal with… I was even surprised you answered my calls and emails"
"We are one of the best hospitals if the country, mrs Dowson" Hunt interrupted "surely one with surgeons who are ten years in the future. People come to us for answers and no case is a burden"
"As far as I agree with you, my experience of the last months tells me differently" she sighed "And if you don't mind, with all the calls I have received in the last days from lawyers, insurance agents and everyone I'd really like to know what you have decided" she ended, her eyes filling with tears.
"Sure…" Hunt added, sharing a quick look with Derek.
"I have run a lot of tests on your son" Derek explained, his patient's chart closed in front of him on the desk "you brought us his whole story, old and recent exams, but I am used to build my own ideas" he explained, fully confident and calm.
"I understand" Michelle said quietly, though anyone could read she was expecting another deception.
"Harris' tumour is really rare, Michelle. So rare I have seen it twice in my entire career and never in a young boy as Harris" he breathed out, meeting her eyes "and I have never operated on it" he admitted, reading defeat spreading on the woman's features.
"So you think there's nothing you can do…" she said, more than asking, her eyes casting down. Derek covered her hand with his, giving it a squeeze.
"There can be something, Michelle "he said "but you need to know that it's never been done before and the chances of succeeding are very low" he admitted, her eyes meeting his immediately.
"How low?" she fired, straightening up. Derek saw hope spreading on her face and chose his following words with care.
"Harris is paralyzed right now. With the progression of the tumour and its effects on vital functions, I estimate your son's expectations of life in one month, two tops" he said firmly, ignoring Hunt sighs and the tears streaming down Michelle's face. "Treatments proved ineffectual and the new MRI shows the disease is spreading to his stomach and intestine"
"It's two days he doesn't eat" she said, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand and looking to the ceiling trying to control herself "he has taken the arm paralyses bad…" she sniffled again "I thought this was just him refusing to be fed" she sobbed.
"I don't think it's just that" Derek added softly "I think he really can't have anything down and his ability to swallow might be compromised… If we want to try this, we have to do it now" he pressed, leaving Michelle the time to pull herself together.
"You didn't answer my previous question" the woman said blowing her nose "how low is your chance to save him?" she repeated, her eyes boring into Derek's.
"Judging by the fact that what I want to try has never been done before and the current status of your son's health…" he stopped, breathing in "I'd give my plan a 5% rate of success" he finished, casting his eyes down. He played with the cover of Harris' chart, her silence mining his confidence and the enthusiasm he had felt when he had found a possible path of intervention. "I understand it's not much" he added "and we can prepare a plan to make him as comfortable as possible during these last weeks" he finished, playing with his fingers nervously. A pregnant silence fell in the room.
"I don't understand…" Michelle uttered at some point, meeting Derek's eyes again.
"Excuse me?" Derek frowned, not breaking eye contact.
"I've been dragging my son around the country for months. I have fought doctors who told me I was paranoid, maniacal with my son's health as they considered me a crazy person. I have called all the hotshots and they turned me down. Now you say you have found a chance… a slim, little, tiny chance but you sound like you are not saying everything to me" she finished, piercing Derek with a firm look "what is it?"
Derek took a big breath and was about to speak when Lauren Smile cleared her throat.
"As you said before, mrs. Dawson, your son's case is wrapped in red tape and the hospital has received heavy pressures from your insurance to suspend any surgical plan"
Michelle's face hardened and her voice shook with rage and despair.
"Oh I know… I have received all kind of threats in the last days" she wiped her eyes furiously "so you are basically telling me that you might have found a plan but you're backing off because of the insurance?" she spat, looking at Derek angrily.
"No, I didn't meet you here to tell you this, Michelle" Derek said, his elbows landing on the table, locking eyes with her. "I do believe there is something I can try for your son and I'm ready to do it. But you need to be aware that the chances he dies in surgery are very high and the insurance company will sue me, the hospital and probably even your family to stop me from doing anything. Your policy is almost over. They just need to bind time for ten days and you'd be left alone"
Mrs. Dawson wiped her eyes again, she rummaged in her purse and took a key ring out of it. She passed her thumb reverently on the metal taking a deep breath.
"Harris is everything I have left" she said finding her nerve again "I want you to try everything you can dr. Shepherd" she breathed out, relieved when Derek smiled "I can't wait for him to die, I can't sit in his room knowing we are doing nothing but watching him die" she chocked, trying to control new tears "I can't see every part of him failing knowing he is totally understanding what's going on" she composed herself when Derek squeezed her hand again "if I have to lose him, I just want him to fall asleep with the hope to wake up again" she finished, wiping her eyes again.
"Okay…" Derek nodded, giving her time to compose herself. His gaze met Owen's and then the lawyer's. He knew the conversation was not going to end with medical stuff when mrs. Smile cleared her throat again.
"Before dr. Shepherd briefs you on his plan and the timing of it, there is something we need to clear all together, right away" Lauren said strictly, pulling papers out of her bag.
"Okay" Michelle nodded, shifting her attention to the woman.
"I really understand when you say you have received calls and threats and pressures and all the line of intimidation legally tolerated. I just want to let you know that the hospital received the same treatment. But it's nothing compared to what will happen to us all when the insurance will get a new notification of surgery" she pointed out, her eyes resting on Derek "are you really sure, mrs. Dawson, you want to do this?"
"Of course I am" the woman replied immediately, clearly irritated.
"The company might try to offer you money. Will you stand with your decision?" the lawyer pressed, ignoring the men's incredulous stare.
"Are you suggesting I would sell my son's life and let them bribe me?" she asked indignation clear in her voice and face.
"No, but I do this job for a long time and I've seen everything. Dr. Shepherd's career will be on the line, this could destroy him and I want to make sure we are all on the same page here and everyone understands what we are going to face" she said calmly and clearly.
"I want a chance for my son, nothing else" Michelle pleaded, her eyes looking for Derek's but not finding them "Dr. Shepherd…" she pressed, noticing his discomfort for the first time.
"I will go for surgery, mrs. Dawson, if that's what you want" he said, not a trace of doubt in his voice. "But I need to be honest with you and there might be things you missed in the last weeks" he added, feeling deflated.
"Dr. Shepherd…" she said clearly "I researched Harris' disease for months, I studied pages and pages of medical journals, studies, I went to conventions. I am a waitress and I was an awful student back then. I discovered motivation was all I needed to force myself into reading different from gossip. I researched dozens of doctors and I know a lot of stuff about every of them. I know their awards, I know their failures, I know their flaws, I know everything they want to make public. I know what happened to you nine months ago, I know what happened in your career last month. I am a waitress, I am not a stupid moron" she said angrily, surprising Derek.
"Nobody thinks that, mrs. Dawson" Hunt said empathetically "I think mrs. Smile wants to let you know that, unfortunately, your insurance lawyers will report dr. Shepherd with the leverage of his recent problems. They will try to postpone the surgery so your contract expires. And Derek… dr. Shepherd wants you to know that they will try to raise doubts on his integrity, his morality, his name and you need to be one hundred per cent sure of what you want and that you want him to be your son's surgeon" he finished, tempting a glare towards Derek, who had shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
"I am sure of that" Michelle said without a hint of hesitation, her eyes moistening when she met Derek's gaze "I just want Harris to have a chance and I am so sorry that my insurance will go head first to ruin you to get what they want" she choked, tears starting to fall again.
"This is not on you, Michelle" Derek smiled, squeezing her hand. "You are a mother and you have to do whatever you can for your son" he shared a quick look with Hunt, relaxing when he saw a little smile twitching his lips "and I am a surgeon. And I will do everything in my power to help my patient. Whatever it might cost"
Michelle hid her eyes, crying freely. All the stress and the tension finally catching up with her.
"I just want to let you know that all the department, the hospital, the Board itself has dr. Shepherd's back and we will stand our ground" Lauren added, smiling to Derek.
"Thank you…" the woman said hoarsely, the palm of her hand going to her chest "so… what now?"
"I will schedule surgery for tomorrow" he said, searching in Hunt the confirmation of the plan they had agreed.
"Tomorrow?" Michelle snapped, panic clear in her voice. Her eyes searching confirmation in all the people in the room.
"But the surgery won't happen tomorrow, I think" Derek said deflated.
"The moment dr. Shepherd declares surgery, the insurance will be on him" mrs. Smile explained, giving Derek a sympathetic look "they will open a claim to the highest surgical authorities… FDA and the national board for sure" she added, tapping a pen on the top of the table "the hospital will back doctor Shepherd and we will ask to have a commission set in two days tops, the maximum your son can wait".
"Ok…" Michelle breathed out, her eyes on the table.
"Dr. Shepherd has prepared a very detailed dossier supporting his plan of surgery. This hospital has already approved it. We will present it to the commission and I am confident they will judge for its medical content, no strings attached" Lauren finished, reading gratitude on Derek's face.
"And if they do approve it, Harris' surgery might take place this Saturday"
Derek grabbed the papers spread on the desk and pushed them towards mrs. Dawson.
"These are the consents, the privacy policies, the insurance papers…" he took a deep breath, locking eyes with Michelle "we might go through it all together, I will answer all your questions and doubts, we can decide together what to tell Harris…" he said softly, smiling when Michelle took the pen and started to sign.
"He is such a smart kid" she said, her eyes filling with tears.
"He is" Derek nodded, the sound of the pen running on paper filling the room.
"I actually have questions, dr. Shepherd" Michelle said, the pen forgotten on the last document, the request of insurance cover.
"You can use this room as long as you need it" Hunt said, standing, gathering his papers and sending a quick look to Lauren. She got the message and stood herself.
"I guess we have covered all that needed to be said. I will go back to do my job and let dr. Shepherd give you all the information and details" she smiled, walking towards the door. Derek watched them both walking out of the room, focusing back on Michelle once the door closed.
"I am ready to give answers to all your concerns, mrs. Dawson" he prodded her, sinking back in the chair again.
"I was just trying to pop the question in the right way" she explained herself.
"I understand it might be very difficult and there are many blanks to fill" he said to encourage her.
"I am just concerned on one thing honestly…" she said, playing with the pen "because it's the only perspective nobody has never given me and I don't know what to expect" she finished, reading doubt on Derek's face. A tear fell on her face and she wiped it away.
"Just tell me…"
"If you succeed…" she stopped, more tears filling her eyes "are some of Harris' current deficits reversible?" she asked, her voice down to a whisper. Derek straightened up, his elbows on the table again.
"I don't have a 100% sure answer to this question, Michelle" he said honestly "Harris' tumour is very complicated, it has contaminated many organs and altered many of his functions" he explained, his brain live screening all MRIs, scans, tests he had found in the kid's dossier and done himself "but I strongly believe that if we eradicate the main mass, we will cut the supply to all the rest. And we could aggress it with treatments"
"So he has a chance to a normal life?" she ended, her hand going to her throat.
"He has" Derek confirmed, nervous on how Michelle seemed to only consider a positive outcome "but it's going to be a very long shot, Michelle" he said calmly "the surgery will last at least 20 hours, if not more. We will have to secure many organs… it's really something never done before and, even if I think this can work, you should also be prepared to the bigger chance" he finished, squeezing her hand. Michelle locked eyes with him and then pulled it out of his grasp, standing.
"I've been ready to lose my son for six months, dr. Shepherd" she sighed, looking at him standing. "all doctors have said this, more than once, to us both. He has written a composition on how his funeral needs to be" she continued, hearing Derek sighing "I watch him go through hell every day and I know he is very likely going to die on your table" she composed herself and looked straight into his eyes "but for the first time I see a little light, I see a chance. And if Harris has to die, I want it to be while we are following light"
She sent a last glance to the papers and left, leaving Derek alone with his thoughts.
He took ten minutes to calm himself down and then he proceeded to bring all papers back to the department, where he booked an OR.
Three hours later, on his way home, Hunt notified him a big yellow envelope had been left in his office by mr. Long. The hospital had also received a very formal email from the FDA and the national register of surgeons, notifying Seattle Grace an impending lawsuit and an official claim against their surgeon, with the request to suspend all his activities within the hospital.
But Derek had received the same communication on his mobile.
He had sat in his car for long minutes, reading the whole report and the pending accusations.
Power trip, arrogance, protagonism-mania, loss of human touch.
The insurance had hit hard, very hard.
They had formally asked the board of surgeons and FDA to take him down. To stop him from releasing his frustrations on patients.
Derek took a deep breath and threw his cell on the passenger seat, collecting himself.
The lights were on in the house, Meredith was probably up taking care of Michael.
Derek's eyes darted to the lights of the room they had prepared, in their dreams, for Zola.
Everything was dark and they hadn't heard from Janet in days.
Derek's heart shattered thinking there were big chances they will never see her again.
It was not in his power anymore, he sighed, raking a hand in his hair.
Saving Harris could be.
Making his family happy was for sure.
"It's almost time for you to eat, buddy" he said softly, caressing his son's chest reverently.
Michael was looking at him calmly, his tiny lips curled up, big blue eyes alert and wandering across the room.
"Mommy and I love you very much" he said, rocking on the chair, kissing the baby's forehead.
His nostrils were invested by a parfum he had learnt to love in the last days: baby powder, milk, roses.
It was intoxicating.
"We will always take care of you, Michael" he added, his fingers tracing his little cheek "we will always support you, everything you will decide to do" his voice soothing and very quiet "you won't have to be a doctor if you don't want to be… you won't have to be a surgeon…" Derek smiled when Michael gurgled, as to agree with him "all I care about is that you love New York and be a Yankee fan" he stopped, almost waiting for an answer, hypnotized when his son's fingers closed around his "uncle Mark and I will take you to games… it's one of the few things we can rely on him for, if he promises not to corrupt you with his awful pick up lines" he kept rocking his son slowly, the moonlight spreading on the parquet, utter silence around them. Then he heard a creaking sound and peered over his shoulder towards the door. His features relaxed even more when he noticed Meredith leaning against the doorframe, for some time, judging from her tender smile and wet eyes.
"Mummy is here, baby" Derek said, kissing the top of his son's head "I think she heard my rambling" he smiled.
"I did…" Meredith said yawning, walking in the room "but I didn't want to interrupt your bonding time"
She approached her two men, her hand sneaking around Derek's shoulders.
"We were just having a man to man speech" he cooed, his eyes locking with Michael's mirroring ones "waiting for snack time which should be here right now" he added, hearing the beeping of the bottle warmer.
He stood to go and pick it up but Meredith stopped him, leaning a hand on his chest.
"Why using second hand milk when I have a new bulk ready to go?"
Derek's eyes fell on her silk nightgown, his eyes narrowing in front of her beauty, magnified by pregnancy.
"I thought you'd be asleep" Derek said softly kissing her on the lips "I could take care of this sweet boy and you could have rested a bit"
"I'm fine" she smiled, even if Derek noticed tiredness in her eyes. Meredith squeezed his bicep, looking down to their son affectionately. "Let's go in our bedroom to feed this cutie"
Derek followed her in their bedroom. Meredith laid down on their bed, her back against the headboard, adjusting pillows that were previously scattered around the bed. She opened her nightgown and Derek handed her the baby, watching mesmerized as his mouth found her breast and nipple immediately. Sloppy sounds filled the room and Meredith eyed her husband, amused by the effect breastfeeding had on him.
"Derek…" she called him, arching her brows.
"Yes, sorry…" he said rubbing his nose, eliciting more amusement from his wife. He laid next to her, his thumb stroking Michael's soft curly hair.
"Jealous much?" Meredith teased him, loving how embarrassment was spreading on his face.
"Mer…" he sighed, shaking his head.
"What?" she giggled "men suck. I'm feeding your son in this new whale form I'm living in and you are jealous of your offspring. I hate you" she finished, moving Michael to her other breast. It was Derek's turn to chuckle.
"You're beautiful, Meredith. And that…" he said pointing to her chest, trying to keep dirty out of his mind. He waved his hand trying to find words and then sunk against the bed board "all that glory sometimes gives me ideas" he admitted, covering his eyes.
"As you suck" she retorted pitifully, amused by his discomfort anyway. Silence stretched in the room and Meredith eyed him carefully. "You got home late… how is the Harris affaire going?" she asked quietly, knowing how stressful the situation was for Derek and how his career could get damaged by the whole thing.
"The insurance fired their big guns today, as expected" he sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly.
"Did someone contact you already?" she prodded him.
"Oh yes… both FDA and the National board asked the hospital to suspend my licence until the committee hears me out the day after tomorrow"
Meredith released a breath and she squeezed Derek's arm.
"A medical commission will hear you out, Derek. You do have a plan and they will listen to you" she said firmly, trying to sound much more confident than she was.
"Amelia Fane once again and dr. Roberts himself will be the auditors, Meredith" he breathed out, pinching his nose. "For the second time in less then two months the FDA is reading unsavory things about me, about how I manage my cases and department. The insurance is out for blood" he finished shaking his head "the report they presented… the words thy used on me… I never thought I would be that kind of doctor" he admitted, hurt and deception clear in his voice.
"They have no reason to address you in that way, Derek" she said firmly, trying to find eye contact "the FDA will soon understand the problem is the insurance policy and not you. They will call their bluff and see you were dragged in the middle as fall guy"
She pulled her nipple out of Michael's mouth and cuddled him against her shoulder, patting his back.
She watched Derek's face letting go of worry and his eyes melting, setting on Michael.
He stretched his hand, brushing his fingers and his son's little hand.
"I love you so much, Meredith" he said in a strangled voice, on the brink of tears.
"I love you too…" she smiled. A loud burp broke the silence and had them both laughing loudly.
"If this is a way to say you love us too, my boy, you have to turn on your charm" Meredith giggled, lifting Michael so his eyes were lined up with hers. His chubby cheeks opened in a smile.
"Look at the charm there" Derek said, tickling his son's tummy "already using a mini Mc Dreamy smile"
Meredith giggled, rubbing her nose on the baby boy.
"I need to raise the bar, here" Derek said, eating both Meredith and Michael with his eyes.
His wife squeaked when Michael tried to suck her nose.
"Oh my…" she giggled, pushing the baby back "this is not my nipple" she laughed, meeting Derek's eyes.
"I'll make sure he has a clear picture before he turns 15" Derek chimed, chuckling when Meredith swatted his arm indignantly.
"Smelly daddy and uncle Mark won't corrupt this angel" she said jokingly, smiling when Michael yawned.
"I think it's time for this buddy to get a nap" Derek said standing and rounding the bed. He approached Meredith's side and waited until she placed a sweet kiss on his forehead.
"Good night, sweetie" she cooed passing the baby to Derek.
"I'm going to put him down and I will be back in a minute" he smiled, stealing a quick peck on the lips. She heard him humming on his way to the nursery, cradling Michael against his chest.
Derek was such a great dad, Meredith thought relaxing on the bed.
Since the moment they had got back home, he had been there for the both of them, throwing himself into baby's duties with passion and alacrity. He changed diapers, warmed bottles, cuddled Michael when he woke up, talked to him for hours. They were counting the days to have the first bath, each day proving to be a surprise and discovery and a moment to cherish all together.
She smiled when Derek appeared on the doorframe, holding the baby monitor.
"He is out cold" he smiled, setting the tool on his nightstand and starting to unbutton his shirt.
"He has slept all day long" she smiled, sliding under the covers.
"Could you rest a bit?" he asked, throwing his shirt on the chair and unfastening his belt.
"Yes…" she said, her attention on her half naked husband. Her breath hitched in her throat when he dropped his pants and turned around to drop them on top of his discarded shirt, his boxers getting all her attention.
"Mer…" he prodded her, a glint of amusement in his eyes. "Are you all right?"
"Sure…" she muttered blushing. She swallowed when Derek lifted the sheet and slid into the bed, his hand going immediately to search her waist. "Not helping having you naked in my bed now" she admitted, biting on her lower lip.
"I'm sorry" he smiled "I just wanted to lay down with you" he breathed out, his eyes drooping closed in exhaustion. "No funny business" he added sheepishly.
"There can't be funny business for at least three weeks" she pouted, noticing Derek opening one eye "you heard the OBG"
"I did" he whispered, his fingers caressing her hip "I want you all the time but we are both dead tired these days…" he added, relieved when Meredith smiled herself "I can give you a truce"
He hid his face in the pillow and then rolled over, resting on his back.
"What time do you have to go to the hospital tomorrow?" Meredith asked softly, turning off the light and leaving the room in plain darkness.
"Around ten… but I told Hunt to let me know if we have official meetings. I'm on leave and tonight's was never ending" he sighed.
"It's important, Derek" she said, brushing his cheek.
"You and Michael are more. And the lawyers are taking care of everything, I just need to report. Besides, I can't operate and being at the hospital is useless"
His voice sounded hollow and Meredith felt there were things he was not telling her, probably he was tired, not ready.
"Derek…" she tried to prod him, pausing when he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.
"I have so many things in my head right now, Meredith" he admitted, locking eyes with her "I feel like flying for Michael and you and our family" he smiled, interlocking their fingers "I love you both in a way it's difficult to express"
Meredith's eyes teared up and she sniffled.
"You have given me everything I've ever wanted and you completed me as a man" he took a deep breath and Meredith read in his eyes what he was feeling but was afraid to say out loud.
"But you miss Zola and you're worried we haven't heard anything back from Janet" she said for him, her thumb brushing the back of his hand.
"Yes…" he admitted, his eyes wet "I feel all this overwhelming love for Michael. Now I know how it feels to bring someone into this world, desiring them with every fiber of your being, feeling responsible for them. I can't help to think of Zola and wondering where she is, if she's scared, happy, if she thinks we gave up on her" he sniffled, a tear glistening in his eyes "I don't know if this is normal or we should move on, I don't know if calling Janet or wait"
"Maybe we should try to ask Alex to speak with Karen, see if she can at least try to understand where we are" she suggested.
"Maybe…" he gently caressed her hand, taking comfort on her warm fingers. "Do you think this new mess could jeopardize our chances?" he asked, his voice fearful and shaky.
"Why would it be of any of their interest?" Meredith snapped, her eyes narrowing .
"Meredith…" he breathed out "if you read that report you'd understand why" he said rolling on his back, letting go of her hand "it attacks me as a doctor and arises big shadows on me as a man, on my integrity, on my calibre, on my credibility. Who would want a guy playing with patients to take custody of a sick child?" he mumbled, taking a deep breath. "They could think I'm gonna do it just to feed my egomaniacal personality" he chewed on his bottom lip, unable to add anything.
"Whoever has enough brain to talk to you for minutes is going to understand this is bullshit, Derek" she said firmly. "You have a 20 years career speaking for you. Patients, colleagues, doctors, nurses… they don't have a leg for these allegations" she said, squeezing his arm soothingly. "Besides… attacking you personally like this proves they don't have medical arguments in their pocket"
"Maybe" he mumbled, giving her a small smile .
"Let's get some sleep now" she rolled over to kiss his cheek
"Until the boss is hungry again" he muttered, already half asleep.
"I guess you are going to miss my snoring now" she joked, her lids closing.
"I don't miss it as it's still here…" he replied just as jokingly. Meredith's eyes snapped open and she looked at him, half indignant and half amused.
Derek's breath was even, his arms sneaking under each side of his pillow.
His face was relaxed and Meredith got he had fallen asleep.
She turned on her side, staring at him. She wanted to fall asleep with that image in her brain.
Silence stretched and the night splayed its quietness. Meredith was lulled to sleep by the wind hushing the tops of the trees surrounding their house.
She felt Derek tossing and turning, his sleep probably troubled by Zola, Harris, the insurance, his reputation being questioned all over again.
When she woke up in the morning, his side of the bed was empty and cold.
Meredith checked the clock: 8.15 . She had slept through the night and she felt well rested.
She wore a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeve t-shirt.
Derek and Michael were not in the nursery and she headed downstairs only to be met by silence.
There was an empty bottle in the sink, probably her husband had woken up in the middle of the night to take care of the baby. She poured some coffee in her mug and opened the door.
It was a beautiful morning. The sky was blue, no shadows around and the sun was starting to show behind the hill. Meredith let her eyes run through Derek's property, their property, and stopped when she spotted Derek near the lake. He was standing near the wooden deck and, straining her eyes, she noticed he was wearing the baby carrier on his chest.
The air was chilly but the sun warm, she wore her jacket and made her way towards the rest of her family.
A huge smile stretched on her face getting close to Derek.
He was swaying gently, his thumbs holding Michael's hands, a sweet melody filling the air.
"Two little dickie birds sitting on a wall. One named Peter, one named Paul. Fly away Peter! Fly away Paul!
Come back Peter! Come back Paul!" He chuckled at the end of the song, kissing his son's forehead and Meredith felt her heart swelling and her eyes tear up for the overwhelming emotion.
"Damned hormones…" she muttered under her breath when tears spilled out. It was a give away and Derek turned to face her, frowning when he noticed her eyes.
"Mer…" he said worried, noticing her flushed cheeks and red eyes.
"I'm fine, just a hormonal party going on" she smiled, kissing his lips, smiling when Michael reached out for her. "Hi, boy. How did you sleep?"
"He was a champ" Derek cut in proudly. "He stayed awake just the time to drink his bottle and woke up at 6.15. So I decided to go for a walk"
"And how did you sleep?" she said, locking eyes with him. Derek took a deep breath.
"Just fine" he mumbled "your snoring wasn't that bad" he joked, trying to divert her attention.
Michael made a gurgling sound, his mouth attacking Derek's chin.
Both Meredith and Derek started to laugh.
"There's no milk in here, Buddy. Let's go back home to have breakfast"
They walked in silence towards the house and Derek stopped outside to take off his muddy shoes.
Meredith gently pulled their son out of the walker and sat on the couch, preparing to feed him.
"Pancakes?" Derek suggested, leaning in to kiss her forehead.
"Yes, please" she smiled, focusing on him.
He walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, taking out eggs, butter and cheese.
A nice aroma spread across the living room, along with noises of cooking and pans hissing.
When Michael was done and Meredith lifted her eyes, the table was set and Derek was spreading sirup on her breakfast.
"Perfectly in sync" she chimed, standing and joining him at the counter.
"We are a good team" he smiled, frowning when Meredith sat holding Michael. "Don't you put him down?" he asked, pointing to the little crib he had prepared near the table.
"I just want to hold him a little bit" she pouted, reading behind Derek's glare. "You think I'm spoiling him…" she breathed out, patting the baby's back.
"Mer…" he said chewing his fruit salad "I get the feeling and I would hold him all the time. But he needs his time in the crib or we will never be able to put him down again" he finished, hearing her sighing.
"Heard Daddy?" she said, putting the baby boy in the crib and adjusting the sheet on him. Michael started to move restlessly, his feet kicking and his fists in the air, producing all kind of sweet noises.
Derek's hand fell absent mindedly in the crib, sipping at his coffee.
"I can't remember last time we had breakfast together sitting at the counter" Meredith giggled, licking her lips. Derek chuckled, his eyes darting of their living room.
"I guess we go back months" he paused, their eyes meeting "usually we ran down the stairs, grab a travel mug and rush outside not to be late"
"That's more me" she sighed, cleaning the remains of jam from her mouth "and it's getting even worse now we live here and have 15 more minutes to commute to work"
"We'll manage, don't worry" Derek smiled, squeezing her hand on the top.
A buzz interrupted their quiet time and Derek sighed, taking his cell phone out of his jeans.
Meredith saw his brows arching and his lips twisting in a mixture of amusement and disappointment. He threw the cell away snorting, playing with the food on his plate.
"It was Peter" he said finally, lifting his eyes from the plate "the news went public and he asked me what I did this time to get in trouble"
Meredith squeezed his hand, interlocking their fingers. His cell gave new signs of life and Derek rolled his eyes, sending an angry look to the device. He grabbed it and scrolled through his texts, his face blank.
"More bad news?" Meredith asked softly, rubbing her thumb on the back of his hand.
"Almost…" he sighed "but my mom loved all the new pics you sent her" he smiled, kissing her hand "Thanks for including her so much"
"I love your mum, Derek" she smiled "and I can hear her bouncing on the phone every time she calls"
"I hope she does not overwhelm you with blankets, cross stich and all her repertoire" he arched his brow making Meredith giggle "I had to remind her we did not have six twins but just the sweet little man" he smiled, tickling Michael's tummy "and I don't want you to be turned into a blue candy, do I?" he cooed, relaxing when his son smiled happily towards him.
His cell this time rang and Meredith bit her lip reading Hunt's name on the screen. Derek flipped it open and answered.
"Hey Owen…" he said into the speaker, smiling to his wife. "I'm still home"
Meredith could see his face getting more and more serious.
"I got a hint of it all" he snapped, standing and starting to pace in the room "and the news went public"
He stopped, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm aware of this, Hunt. Honestly I didn't think they would go straight to the press to dig more dirty on me"
Meredith straightened up and stood, her fingers squeezing his arm.
"Can Lauren do something to stop them?" he asked, sitting on the couch "I get what you're saying but all my family is reading this crap, my colleagues, patients… everyone…" he snapped, feeling nausea raising from the pit of his stomach. "I… I don't know… just let me think about it but… it's going to be tomorrow and there's not so much time to do this so… I'll let you know" he breathed out, biting his lip "All right… I'll be at the hospital later as we have to bring Michael to his check up. I'll stop by. Ok… thanks, Owen, I appreciate it"
He hang off, wiping his eyes tiredly. A soft hand caressed his knee and Derek felt Meredith sitting on the couch near him.
"Hey…" she smiled, taking the cell from his hand and caressing his chest. "Talk to me"
"There's not much to say, Mer" he breathed out, sinking further into the leather cushions "Long sent their claim to the press. Apparently the bastard has many connections. The hell broke loose and now everybody is aware I'm a sick bastard trying to get attention on a dying kid. Peter heard about it, my sisters did too. Michelle Dawson got a mortgage notification: if she does not withdraw the authorization for surgery and the insurance wins, they will take her house away"
"Can they do this?" she asked, incredulous and mortified at the same time.
"I don't know… I asked Hunt the same thing" he snorted "Bribery, blackmailing, slander… we've got the full blow"
He closed his eyes, trying to catch his breath and let his mind settle on this mess.
A hot palm caressed his stubby cheek and Meredith forced him to look at her.
"One thing at a time, Derek" she smiled, kissing him softly.
She felt him relaxing in her touch and deepened the kiss, his lips parting to give her access.
Her hands found the soft curls on his nape and she backed off, their foreheads touching.
"I love you" he said softly, kissing her palm.
"I do too"
A loud shriek filled the air and they both giggled hearing Michael wimpering, probably upset they were both out of sight.
"We have a diva over there" Derek rolled his eyes, watching Meredith standing and going to the crib.
His cell vibrated again and he took it, his face changing again.
"Why don't you take a shower?" Meredith told him, holding Michael. "So you can take care of this one while I take one myself. We are supposed to be at the hospital around 1 pm"
"Ok…" he smiled, kissing both their foreheads, worry painted on his face "I'll be right back"
"Take your time" Meredith said to his retrieving back. She heard his footsteps over the stairs and down the corridor leading to their room, the door shutting.
Silence fell in the house and she breathed out, taking a look at the stroller and the sun shining outside.
"Let's go for a walk"
She put Michael in his seat, adjusting his seat belt and fixing the little fluffy animals in front of his face.
Meredith wore her jacket and felt the weight of her cell phone in the inner pocket.
She sighed realizing she had received many texts from the hospital, Derek being the center of attention again.
One in particular got her attention and she looked up, trying to understand if Derek could appreciate the thought or got pissed.
She decided he needed help, he needed support.
And she had understood from the short visits that this person was not some random acquaintance in the medical world but somebody her husband trusted and respected and the feeling was mutual.
Derek needed trustworthy people in his corner and she was determined to make sure he had them.
She opened the front door, sending a look upstairs, no noise around.
She pushed the stroller out and dialled the number she had received months ago.
"Hallo…" a rich and warm voice answered to the other side.
"Mr. Fletcher…" she said shily, balancing the receiver between her ear and shoulder. "I'm Meredith Grey… Derek's wife"
"I know who you are, dear. It was quite about time somebody called me"
Meredith shivered, fearing a tirade.
"Derek doesn't know I'm calling you" she breathed out, sending another look to the house.
"Of course he doesn't" he snorted and Meredith could hear the eye rolling through the receiver "he still believes in unicorns and universal justice"
"And true love" Meredith added, trying to sound funny. A brief silence filled the line and Meredith checked if the line had fallen.
"If true love didn't exist you wouldn't be calling me, dr. Grey" he said calmly, taking Meredith by surprise "What time does that stubborn husband of yours need to report?" he asked.
"I think tomorrow morning… around eleven" she mattered evenly.
"I'll be on a flight to Seattle this afternoon, Meredith" he said firmly "I will call Hunt, your new chief, and see if I can take someone with me"
"Thank you" she said simply, gratitude filling her heart
"Don't even say that… and I hope I will have the chance to know the next top neurosurgeon in the world" he joked, amusement clear in his voice.
"Excuse me?" Meredith asked, confused.
"The good looking Shepherd, Meredith" he laughed "I am sure Grey's blood and Shepherd's blood have produced something outstanding. I will see you later or tomorrow"
"Okay… thanks"
The line fell and Meredith set the phone in her pocket.
She smiled looking down to her son, who had listened to the whole conversation silently, his fist in his mouth.
"You really have the strangest uncles, my poor boy" she finished, covering Michael with a fluffy blanket and taking the trail leading to the top of the hill.
Thoughts?
Falmur