Into the Beastkin Capital

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I woke up to the sight of piercing green eyes.

Surprisingly, for once, it wasn't Monika. Or Linze. There was none of that intent adoration, only a deep and almost bellicose focus. The eyes were even slightly red from lack of sleep, but I could sympathize with the feeling. There were many nights in which your brain just refused to wind down.

It was, of course, Elze.

Quickly I looked down. My right arm was pinned down under the warm weight of her waist. She was still fully clothed, but her green skirt hiked up a little over her bare thighs.

Quickly I looked up again.

"Disappointed?" Elze asked with a catlike smirk.

I tried to wiggle the fingers in my right hand. I winced at the sudden needle-point pain of sleeping nerves. "You know what, not really. I'm kind of happy about it. I'd like to be able to know what happened instead of being all glanded up in magic combat drugs. You and Linze deserve better than to be used to sate urges. Dragon me isn't a very nice person."

Elze sniffed. "Funny. You don't look much like a dragon." She lightly poked my nose with a finger. "I think that's just the sort of bullshit you and Monika say as an excuse to misbehave."

I grinned. Ah, Elze. How I loved how you utterly failed to be impressed by any of our bullshit. You might not have Yumina's magic to see a person's true nature, but ever since you were tricked by some hoodlums the first time we met, you have always been alert for any more tomfoolery.

Elze blinked and grimaced. "No, don't…" she whispered.

"That's because you haven't seen my dragon yet!"

"What have I done?" she groaned and palmed her face.

"Really, Elze, we're already sleeping together and you never thought to hear my dragon roar?"

"Stop it with the puns. I regret this already."

Eyebrow wiggle. "Why don't you let my dragon make a lair in your cave…?"

She put her palm over my face instead and began slapping. "Stop stop stop stoppp!" Then she huffed. "You're so bad at this. It's not even you that's seducing Linze, Monika's doing half your work for you."

I turned to see Linze clinging onto my left arm like a barnacle. She was sleeping, snoring cutely. I smelled her hair. It was a little musky and smoky. I looked past the curve of her hips to see that her ankles were weakly tied together by a red ribbon. I had a vague memory of doing that, and of Elze agreeing, but no idea why.

I shivered. That had faintly exciting potential, but this wasn't the time or place for that.

I turned around again. "The reason you're pinning my right hand down is to make sure I didn't end up ravishing Linze, right?"

Elze nodded. I tried to move my left arm, but then Linze clamped down even harder and ouch that's starting to hurt the circulation. "… are you sure it wasn't to stop Linze from ravaging me?"

A dull look returned to Elze's eyes. "Someone needed to stop both of you from being stupid."

"That's not good bro conduct Elze, but since she's your sister I understand."

As the old saying goes - {Bros before hoes, but sistahs afore da hood}. While there's plenty of girls in the thug life, there's no end of deadbeat fathers as well.

I leaned back and pulled. From how often I could feel Monika's [Amplify] on my body, over time I got to feel the difference of how magic seeped into my muscles. I pulled the girls a little closer. Elze let out a disdainful "hmf!" while Linze let out a contented little sound and snuggled closer.

I leaned in close to Elze's face.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" Elze asked. She didn't pull away, just frowned minutely.

Our noses touched and nuzzled together like the friendly greeting of a pair of cats. Or an Eskimo kiss. Elze flinched and shielded her nose. "… you… you don't get to do that!" she hissed. "I won't accept it. An idiot that tries to stand on two boats at the same time! I know what men think about having twin girls!"

One foot cannot stand on two boats. That's a Chinese expression, how do you even know that, Elze?

I mean, a man certainly can stand on two boats if he put one foot on each, but then of course the moment the boats diverge he's going be in a lot of pain and splash really quickly.

I laughed a bit and pulled tighter. "This is pretty nice, isn't it?"

Elze scowled minutely. "No it isn't."

"Elze, we're already sleeping together but not sleeping together. It's weird, but we just… fit. This is so comfy we could stay like this forever. It… doesn't mean anything unless we force it to mean something.

"Someday that might change. But for now… isn't it nice?" I turned my head to the left and kissed the skin of Linze's forehead. She let out a little breath and blush. Yup. She was pretending to be sleep all along and listening in, how cute.

I turned my head to the right tried to snuggle into the gap of Elze's neck and shoulders with my head, like an affectionate cat. "Let's enjoy this time while we still can."

Elze put her hand on my head as if deciding whether or not to pet my hair like I would sometimes show affection to Linze. Then her fingers hooked into a death grip.

"Playaaa…" She began to shake my head from side to side. "You're so annoying! Stop acting cute, that's disgusting! Every time you open your mouth-hole there's a lot of things I want to do to you to and you're not going to like any of theeeeem!"

Ahahahaha.

From off the corner of my vision I could see Monika sitting there, just watching. I could see the pain in her eyes, and the relief, at this self-inflicted emotional torture. Yes, this was comfy, yet the woman I love most I couldn't hold in my hands. My dear, I'm not that dumb – I can tell that you're encouraging this to make sure that I don't have to live alone in case you break.

Because you're still but a smartphone.

Imagine someday, a family. Three people means someone always being there for the kids. Maybe it's Linze and Elze going off in a sisterly adventure for a change. Maybe it's Linze and Playa going off to cure an epidemic as the world's most highly-paid doctors and Elze is forced to stay back and admit she's actually quite good at accounting. Maybe Lady Punchface and Lord Windbag have to break some castles. The children would have two moms, they wouldn't even know whose womb they came out of, they would all be equal siblings. Adventurer families were usually like that, spreading the load and accepting the inevitability of someone dying in the wilds. A comfy world like that... is what could have happened if Monika wasn't part of the picture.

I haven't forgotten, Monika. But hugs multiplied makes all things better when you're out in the real world. There's a place for you here, and we're all waiting for you.

"This is nice. So nice. There's more than one way to become family. Because Ohana means family." Elze and Linze yelped as I huggled them tight. "And family means no one gets left behind."

/"… you know what, that's fine. There's worse places to find life lessons than a Disney movie. Or even economic lessons at that."/

Really, I know what you're doing to Linze. No one should have see what happens if someone ever triggered this fully armed and operational Yanderestation.

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It was a nice new day and there was only the fair lingering smell of soot in the air. The carriage door opened and we stepped out into the sun.

People were already busy outside cleaning up and making breakfast. But on our appearance, everyone just stopped. The Belfast and Mismede sokduers fell in line to either side like presenting for a procession. Even Yumina stepped into place right beside Yae and Olga Strand, though she looked faintly confused about it all.

Lyon Blitz looked up with awe as we exited the carriage. He glanced from Elze and Linze as they also exited then bowed. He said "Sir Zah Playa – I really really respect you."

Olga Strand gave an offended little hiss.

Lyon's eyes widened in panic. "No wait, that's not what I meant! No, wait, I mean – I do respect you, milord. As a warrior! Not as a… well yes, of course as a man too, but – not for uh…" This handsome young lion's face twisted up trying to figure out a way to say 'not for philandering purposes'.

Elze glared at the men, who looked away shiftily. "What the dragon dung, idiots?! It's the middle of camp, there are people who just lost their homes and livelihoods last night! I'm a farm girl and I've got a whole lot more delicacy than all you lot! Nothing… happened."

"… and guess who's to blame for that?" Linze muttered aside.

Then brightly "Of course nothing happened!"

"Linze don't say things like that, that make people disbelieve what I'm saying!"

With another exaggeratedly cheerful tone: "I'm telling the truth. Nothing interesting happened aaall night. That's why sis looks like she didn't get any sleep at all."

"Linze why?! I thought I could trust youuu! You're my sister!"

I pointedly ignored the twins going Full Anakin and Obi-wan Chosen One over there and stepped up to Lyon. He was several inches taller than me, broad-shouldered and fair. I put a white-gloved hand on his shoulder and said "You need but to ask, and I shall teach you my ways."

Olga Strand looked away, head bowed with a very disappointed air.

Nooooo. Lyon Blitz gave a pained wince and his right hand twitched. He desperately wanted to defend himself to Olga, but he was still too shy to make his romantic intentions known in public. "The King said I should accept if you offered to teach me your secrets but now… can I refuse itt?!"

Ahahaha.

First time I've seen a riajuu suffer for being a riajuu.

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Since Elze and Linze needed some space for a while, and Lyon was trying hard to furtively make his gentlemanly virtue clear to Olga, and everyone else avoiding me... I ended up riding up front in the lead carriage with Yumina.

I held the reins in my hand. The usual beastkin driver and guard had gone ahead to scout to allow us to speak mostly in privacy. I'm not sure why they thought it was necessary but whatever.

A long and uncomfortable silence stretched out. Until finally, Yumina broke it by saying "Um… Sir Zah, that was most kind of you to give the dragon's carcass to the villagers to rebuild their homes. The value of it is… staggering."

The village chief was almost in tears. All the villagers shouted their thanks and waved colorful pieces of cloth as they watched us leave, as if we were their own homeboys off to war.

I shrugged. "Like what would I do with a dragon's corpse? You've seen how big that thing was – what's the point of hauling one around? Giving me a dragon horn to make into a weapon… several weapons, even – that's good enough."

"I suppose we are still trying to hide the specifics of your [Boom Tube] power." Yumina nodded. She glanced up at my face and then back to the road. She bit her lip. After a while she asked "Sir Zah…? Aren't you… I mean… are you insulted?"

"Hm?"

"You… you say you're a man born with the soul of a dragon. You were angry at that big red dragon, you really didn't want to have to kill that black dragon, didn't you? Do you think it's bad that we are… are we desecrating a corpse of your own people? We humans are greedy. Dragons are thinking beings. It feels like making magic wands out of human bones… is that wrong?"

"Yumina, I'm a man born with the /soul/ of a dragon, not the body of one. Dragons are not my people." I waved aside at the thick sub-tropical forests on either side of the road. "I'm annoyed at these dragons not because they're not living up to their potential, but even in their isolation they're just half-assing it."

I smiled faintly. "Dragons have long been a symbol of royalty. Of majesty. A dragon that's just a beast, that's fine. But a dragon that can think - if I look at it and see a being that is not a king in its own right, I'm just so disappointed."

"I see…" Yumina stared fixedly ahead. "But dragons becoming kings… it's not good for the people who aren't dragons, isn't it?"

"Dragons don't /need/ land or tribute or praise like human kings, that's the point. Dragons shouldn't need to prove their might. (Well except to each other because dragons are arseholes like that...) And… if dragons coming out and wrecking villages is a constant threat for Mismede, then beastkin lives are hard enough and it's going to take more to persuade them to fight for the sake of the humans who used to enslave them."

"Are you going to solve this problem to sweeten the talks, Sir Zah?"

"Not really. I can't promise to do anything other than complain to their dragon-king, if that's a thing."

"I see. Thank you anyway."

There was only the sound of horse hooves in a hot humid day. I gestured aside and a curtain of wind flowed over us like a sun shade.

"Allow me, Sir Zah, I need to practice anyway." Yumina raised her wand and intoned "Wind, flow, be a calm soft breeze, [Breeze Wind]!"

Rather than a curtain, a wall of wind seemed to flow down from on high like water off a faucet. Unlike my simple spell, which created just a quick draft as if from a large hand fan, her spell maintained itself for as long as she could feed the spell stone magic power. The magic stone on her wand glowed bright green.

Yumina looked towards my white gloves with the spell stones embedded in them. "I really envy being able to command [Wind] soundlessly like that. Unfortunately I can't regrow exploded fingers."

"I can't do that either!" I responded brightly.

Yumina let out a long-suffering sigh. "Sir Zah, with all due respect, even if you are the absolute master of Wind Magic, at some point you should really consider using normal magic tools. At the very least, fingertips limit the size of spell stones that you can use to cast spells."

"I'll get around to it. I haven't yet managed to get a replacement for my sword Zanzibar anyway. Dragon bones are magically conductive, right?"

"Yes they are. That's why having a whole dragon is so rare and treasured. Anyone who brings down a dragon is instantly famous."

"Mmm. Just out of curiosity, what do you think is the going market for that?"

Yumina made a little humming noise. Royalty did not concern themselves with counting coppers like some merchant. But Yumina was, as always, serious about her duties. As an adjutant it was expected for her to know how much it should cost to run a military troop. "Like how the price of a cow is less than sale price of the meat it's made of… I'd say at least ten royal coins."

"… And those would be?"

"Ten platinum coins each."

"I see. No. I don't see." I remain bad at the maths. "Monika?"

/"Approximately one million dollars, Player."/

I winced. "That's pretty cool dosh." Then I shrugged. "Ah, well. If I took the dragon as payment, I don't think we could get paid twice by the beastkin king if he hears of this." It was better to have liquidity than assets; i.e., cash on hand rather than inventory that still needed processing.

"Is this a test?"

I turned and Yumina stared up at me with intent green and blue eyes. She spoke again "If the King of Mismede acknowledges what we've done, that is good. The amount of reward he would give to someone who has saved his people and performed a great service for his kingdom… would it be a test of how much care he will have for humans of another kingdom?"

I raised an eyebrow under my white mask. "It… could be? What do you think?"

"Not being effulsive in his rewards would imply he is being stingy and his kingdom is poor. It would not be politic to be anything less than generous. Anything less would be insulting." She put a hand to her chin and began to nod softly. "That was nicely done, Sir Zah."

I laughed weakly. "If you say so."

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Days passed uneventfully. And soon enough the road grew wider, if not less stony, and we saw fields of grain, and in the distance high walls with building with bulb-like roofs. Weird, a faintly Arabian style in a land surrounded by damp jungle.

We had arrived at Berne, capital of Beastkin Kingdom of Mismede.

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Agrabah.

There was no other way to describe it, really. In the distance the royal palace shone a pure bright white. It looked more like the Taj Mahal than Agrabah castle, but far more defensible. Along the way was a city made of sun-dried brick, with streets filled with a riot of colors and cultures. The different tribes of the beastkin mingled freely in Berge. They mixed and developed towards a single direction, an entity that was known as Mismede.

I couldn't help but to hum the Prince Ali song under my breath. The one by Robin Williams.(1) Yumina looked up quizzically at me.

Our carriages headed directly to the palace. Like Alephis, a river formed part of a moat separating royal grounds from the rest of the city. Although Berge had a weaker economy than Belfast, their palace was much more imposing. Volume for volume the Royal Palace of Alephis was bigger, but that was because it was built into a hill as much as over it. The Belfast capital had tall strong walls but the castle itself looked fairly thin and vertical, with a faintly plant-like architectural motif. It hinted that the defense was as much magical as it was physical.

By contrast Berge's castle was mostly thick white walls. A staircase angled at about 45 degrees led up to great double doors, making it more difficult to set up a battering ram. In times of war I supposed someone would have to tear down the marble steps and build a ram, but it would have pack a dirt path to a longer, shallower angle so that siege engines don't slide back.

Probably would be easier with magic, now that I was thinking about it though.

I stared up at the four surrounding towers. They looked like stately minarets, but the many arrow slits hinted a different purpose. Instead of more towers, the palace seemed to want to concentrate as much fire onto a single area as much as possible, going vertical rather than angular walls. They didn't design "trace italienne" star fort just yet, which I supposed made sense because magic while powerful also differed from cannons. Tall towers to hit other mages from beyond their range made sense rather than low thick walls designed to absorb shock.(2)

… Did beastkin possess magic though?

We had to leave the carriages and walk up before being allowed into the royal grounds. Past the outer walls was a beautiful garden with neatly arranged trees, upon which frolicked birds and small animals. The happy noise of life greeted us. Like the Taj Mahal, there was a great pool filling up the center of the courtyard, elegant and dual purpose in times of a siege. Their water source was whatever was pumping water into that pool. As a magician, my thoughts immediately went into all the ways that standing water could be frozen into explosive ice shard or that pool emptied and filled with flaming traps. Unseen underwater means people would be funneled to either side rather than step onto the pool, which made them more vulnerable to more traps and magic that could wipe out attacker all gathered into a line.

We passed through into the inner palace, past a room of ornate pillars. Sunlight bathed the insides of the palace from high skylight windows, the heat broken by the pillars themselves, and reflecting from the bright marble floor. The effect all added up to a room that despite its structure didn't have many shadows.

Finally we reached the far end of the corridor with another great set of double doors. The guards opened it with a loud ominous creak, and beyond was the throne room of Mismede.

A large red carpet went from the doors to the throne, either side bathed with sunlight falling in patterns from the stained glass high windows. Standing on either side of the carpet near the throne were people dressed in robes and other gaudily-decorated clothing, which I assumed were the ministers and advisors of the court. They represented the different tribes of the beastkin, some were horned, others were winged, others were furred, most had subtle animal features.

Beyond them all, seated high on his throne, was the ruler of this country. The Beastking Jamuka Blau Mismede.

It struck me then that given my all sample size of *two*, all the kings I've met so far in this other world were *jacked*. Like King Tristwin of Belfast himself, King Jamuka was a huge imposing presence. But where the King of Belfast emphasized that with the cut of his clothes, the only concession to kingliness that King Jamukha gave was his crown and a red fur-lined cape.

His huge beefy arms were left exposed as he sat on the throne. His species was apparently snow leopard, and his thick white beard and mustache gave the impression of a furry feline face. His yellow eyes glittered with regal power and a little hint of mischief.

Seriously though, just imagine if Hulk Hogan was a king.

Elze, Linze, Yumina, Yae, Olga, Lyon, Garm, and I - dropped to one knee to show respect.

"My liege... I, Olga Strand, have made my return from the Kingdom of Belfast."

"Hmh. Well done. And you – Garm, and you - Belfastian knight," he addressed the two men on either side of her, "I am pleased by your accomplishment in protecting Our subject."

"Thank you, Your Majesty!" Lyon responded with his head still bowed.

"Thank you, Your Beastliness!" Garm replied similarly.

Wait, what. That's the proper address for Mismede royalty?

Then the King looked past them and to the second row, me with the girls. His eyes curved up a little in interest. He gestured to allow all of us to stand up again.

"And you there… sent also by Belfast's king- I heard that despite only being so few, you were able to slay the dragon that was wreaking havoc in our village of Eld. Is this true?"

Yumina nodded. I felt Elze's hand grip my shoulder.

Don't you say anything, Playa. Don't you start another war with your stupid mouth hole.

This we all agreed well ahead of time. I may have the Thu'um but Yumina was the Voice of the group. "Your information is correct, Your Highness. While I myself have done little in contribution, the other four beside me were the ones that felled the black dragon attacking Eld."

Everyone stared at her. Yumina was the one to answer his question with not a single hint of fear in the presence of royalty, in the heart of their power. "And who are you?" the King asked with narrowed, suspicious eyes.

Yumina curtsied. "Pardon my late introduction, please. I am Yumina Erneas Belfast, the daughter Tristwin Ernes Belfast, king of the Kingdom of Belfast."

Her words caused a stir, as expected. Olga and Lyon were aware of her status, but Garm's eyes widened with shock. His wolf ears lifted straight up. The ministers began whispering among themselves.

"Ooh? What business brings the Princess of Belfast into My domain?"

*The* Princess, not *a* Princess. Belfast's royals having only one child was well known and this was specially risky.

"'Tis is but a gesture to show the importance my father attaches to the matter offered for your consideration. I bring with me a message from my father, I humbly ask that you read what he has written." Yumina took out the letter sealed in a thick envelope and bowed again with her arms stretched out.

One of the aides took the letter from her hands and brought it to the Beastking King. Jamukha broke the wax seal and skimmed over the contents. He nodded and set the papers aside for the aide to put away.

"Interesting. We think understand the situation- but We will take time to consider it." He looked at Yumina and smiled gently. "Don't worry, We will be sure to give you Our response soon enough."

It occurred to me that the use of the Royal We was vastly more appropriate with a confederation of tribes like Mismede than a monocultural block like conventional kingdoms. "Until then, feel free to make yourselves at home," the King of Mismede finished.

"Thank you, Your Majesty," Yumina replied. She stepped back onto the line with us.

A moment of silence passed. We fidgeted as the king did nothing but to glower down at us from his throne.

The King coughed into his fist. "Right then, with the formalities out of the way, there's a thing I gotta ask-"

All of us from Belfast were taken aback. The King of Mismede looked all serious and imposing there, and then suddenly relaxed and began talking like a broski. That whole comparison with Hulk Hogan became even more eerie.

He looked somewhat old, perhaps in his fifties, but still powerfully built. He pointed a thick accusing finger at me. "You there! Red boy!"

I pointed to my face. "… me?"

"Yeah, you! I heard you were the one to really end that dragon." With a bland, skeptical tone of voice: "Did you really punch a dragon to death with your bare hands?"

My equally bland response: "… No. I rode the dragon up into the sky and punched lightning into its eye until it died."

Everyone turned to stare at me. Elze groaned and began rubbing the bridge of her nose. She was considering how we might have to fight our way out of the palace now.

And surprisingly so did all of the ministers sag and give out collective sighs of resignation.

The King closed his pointing finger to a fist. Then he threw his head back and laughed. "Gyaaahahaha! Interesting! Really interesting! It's been a while since my blood's boiled this hard!" He stood up from his throne and flexed. "Boyo! How about it? Why not have a spar with me?"

I blinked.

Then I posed.

My right hand splayed open to barely cover my face, the other into a fist cocked on my hips. "Do I get anything if I win?"

"Hahaha!" The King laughed good-naturedly. "NO!"

"So just for the fun of it, then. I ACCEPT!"

"Oh no there's two of theeem..." someone whispered in clear pain.

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(1) youtube watch?v=aEryAoLfnAA

(2) en . wikipedia wiki/Bastion_fort#/media/File:Ciudadela_Jaca_Vista_