Pulling up to the Stockton airport caused a flood of memories to rush back to her. The last time she was here she was being forced to leave everything behind. Her friends, her family, her life. Everything.
But now, as she stared at one of the planes that were taking off, she was no longer being forced to leave everything behind. Instead, she was fighting to get everything back. She was fighting to get her son back.
She sat in her car looking over the crowd of people that were swarming the airport. It only took one brief glance to finally find the man she was looking for. Though she hadn't seen him in over a year, he still looked exactly the same. The only difference being that his brunette hair was a little longer and he had more facial hair than the last time she had seen him. And as she stared at the person who was going to help her get her son back, her mind stilled. Gone were the thoughts of her past, the only thing left that occupied her mind was finding Abel.
She rolled down the passenger window and waved her hand towards him.
"Jesse." She called out, seeing him turn towards her. The familiar scowl turned into a small smile on his ruggedly handsome face when he heard her voice, his green eyes shining at the sight of her. He quickly threw his bag into the back of her SUV and jumped into the passenger seat.
"Fuckin' Audi? Outlaw's making the big bucks, huh?" She shook her head at the joke, pushing her sunglasses into her hair. "What's going on, Nes? What the hell happened to your fuckin' face?"
"That's why I called. I need your help." She felt tears pricking her eyes at the thought of Abel. "My son… well Jax's son, he was kidnapped."
"Shit." He sighed as she pulled off, driving towards Charming.
"I had no one else to go to. I'm sorry." She shook her head again. "I didn't want to involve anyone else, but you actually have the ability to find him. I'll pay you anything, Jesse."
"I don't want your fuckin' money, Nes. Flew across the goddamn country for you, not for some fuckin' payday."
"Thank you." She mumbled, feeling indebted to the man who had once saved her life. She could hear the emotion in his voice. The hint of whatever it was he used to feel for her inching back.
"Least I can do for Teller anyway." She looked confused but continued paying attention to the road. "For killing Kohn for you."
"How did you-"
"I kept tabs on the prick. Figured that he was dead the moment he didn't show back up in New York after all that shit that happened here." He looked to her.
"You been keeping tabs on me too?"
"What kinda P.I. would I be if I didn't keep tabs on the people I care about?" He smirked before pulling out a notepad and clearing his throat, sounding more serious now. "So details about the kidnapping? Any shit I should know about to make my search a little easier?"
"Irish guy- Cameron Hayes. He's Real IRA." She heard the extensive sigh next to her but continued anyway. "He came into my house, killed a club member and basically knocked me out. He just took him." She bit her lip to stop the tears. "The club, they thought they found a lead but I just got a call and it turned out to be a dead end. They don't really want me involved in finding Abel."
"Shit, I can dig into the guy. But that's not much info to go off of, kid."
"I know." She shook her head again. "The lead they found, it was that Cameron had a fake ID made. Just for him though. Nothing for Abel."
"You got details on it?"
"Timothy O'Dell was the name. But that's all I have."
"Okay, hopefully I can go off of that. I'll look into whatever I can get my hands on. Ask around, cash in a few favors." Jesse spoke with confidence as he scribbled down a few notes. "I'm gonna find your son, Vanessa."
"Thought you always said the number one rule of investigating is to never make promises to your clients." She looked over to him, speaking through the tears in her eyes as they stopped at a red light. He couldn't help but take a hold of her hand, squeezing it gently.
"You're not just a client, and I'm gonna find him. For you, I'd do anything. You know that." Vanessa looked down at their hands.
"I know." She cleared her throat, pulling away from him. "Where you staying?"
"El Rancho Motel in Lodi. Not many places to stay in Charming, huh?"
"No." Vanessa sighed, taking the exit for Lodi. "Probably for the best if you don't stay in Charming anyway."
"Let me guess, the VP doesn't know you hired someone to find his son?" She gave him a pointed look that told him that he was absolutely right. "Would be an ego killer for the outlaw to have another guy find his son. Especially the guy his girl once slept with."
"Jesse. Please, don't do this. Not now." She stated dejectedly. "My life is complicated and messy enough without this shit being laid at my feet too. So, please promise me you won't add to the mess."
"I won't, kid." He pointed to the motel that he was staying at. "I'm gonna look into all the shit you gave me and see what I can find. You wanna come in? Help me sort through some of this shit like good ol' times?"
"I uh, I have a funeral to get to." He instantly looked down at her, seeing that she was wearing all black.
"Shit, whose?"
"My brother's. David's."
"Fuck, Nes. I'm so sorry." He cleared his throat. "How'd it happen?"
"He was, um, he was patrolling the funeral for the club member who was killed by Hayes. There were guys who attacked everyone at the funeral. Shot a bunch of people, killed a few. Then they hit him with the van when he tried to stop them. Ran him over. He was dead on sight."
"Shit. You alright?"
"I gotta be, right?" Vanessa just shook her head 'no' and bit her lip to keep her from breaking down. "Uh, please just do whatever you can to find my son, okay? I'll call you in a few hours."
Vanessa's hand shook as she knocked on the door. Her heart pounded and her head felt heavy. She had barely waited five seconds before the door opened and she was met with a tear-streaked face and angry brown eyes.
"What are you doing here?" The voice snapped. "Haven't you and your biker trash club caused enough damage?"
"Tara… I just-"
"Just what?" She screamed. "You think I don't know what happened? Why it happened? You think I don't know why a group of criminals open-fired on that funeral? Why my fiance was run down?" Tara spat. "You think I don't know why I had to watch my dead fiance be taken to the morgue last night while I was at work? The Sons were involved. I know. The whole goddamn town knows! Everything bad that happens in this town always leads back to you and to them."
"That's not fair…"
"Not fair?" Tara fumed, tears falling down her face. "What's not fair is that David is gone! A good, honest, selfless man is gone while all of those criminals are still alive."
"I'm sorry." She wiped a tear off her cheek. "I know you're angry, you have every right to be. But he was my brother and I loved him too."
"And yet, you're with the man who killed him."
"Jax did not kill him, Tara. None of them did."
"Maybe not directly. But they're responsible. They're always responsible." Tara nodded stiffly and sniffled. "Please, just go, Vanessa."
Vanessa watched in shock as the door was slammed in her face, she understood Tara's anger. She felt it herself. She felt it more than anyone. She felt more loss than anyone could possibly imagine, and as the day went on, she continued to feel more loss. Between her son, her brother, Half Sack, and now it seemed all of her relationships were beginning to crumble. She couldn't help but feel as though she was on the verge of crumbling too.
Jax was walking through the halls of St. Thomas, trying to contact Vanessa for the second time, but the phone went right to voicemail again. He sighed, wondering what they were going to do about getting into room of the shooter from Half Sack's wake. He looked around, exhaling a deep breath before sitting on a bench near the nurse's station.
"Mr. Teller." Vanessa's redheaded administrator spoke without fear. It took him a minute to register the severe bruises that were on her face. "If you're looking for Vanessa, she's not here."
"I know…" He trailed off. "Her suspension was lifted though, right?"
"Yes." Margaret nodded. "She requested a leave of absence for six months. I spoke with her on the phone and she said that the incident where she was attacked and her brother's death were taking a toll on her. I suggested using bereavement time, but she wants to take a voluntary leave from her work and her graduate program. I'm assuming you weren't aware of her request?"
"Shit. No, I wasn't." Jax muttered, eyeing her face again. "What happened to your face? Those bruises are only a few days old."
"Her taking this big of a leave is a mistake. It can force her out of her program and hurt her career." Margaret ignored his insinuation. "Vanessa needs her work and her education. We both know she belongs here."
"Yeah." His nostrils flared slightly at the thought that Vanessa didn't include him in this decision. "She does."
Jax walked away from the woman, heading back towards the rest of the club. But before he reached them, he dialled Vanessa's number. Once again, it went straight to voicemail.
"Call me back, Vanessa." His anger prevalent in his tone of voice. "We need to talk."
Vanessa was watching the funeral procession from afar. It was large with all of David's friends, family, and fellow serviceman. She was reminded of the first time she came back to Charming, watching Donna's funeral from under the tree. She couldn't help the tears that pooled in her eyes.
People blamed her for David's death. Just like she blamed herself for the deaths of several people over the years.
Donna. Half Sack. David. Lily.
She couldn't help but feel that she was destined to lose all of the people she cared about. Like it was a curse to be her friend or her family. Everything she touched or loved seemed to die.
She continuously took deep, heavy breaths, trying to ground herself. To keep herself calm. And she did, at least until the end of the funeral when her father noticed her standing by herself. She saw the anger take over the sadness on his face. When she saw him walking towards her, her feet felt glued to the ground. Her whole body was frozen as she made eye contact with her father for the first time in eight years.
"I told you to stay away." Her father spat at her. "I warned you to never come back here."
"I'm not eighteen years old anymore, dad. You can't threaten me. You can't scare me away from Charming again. You can't scare me away from saying goodbye to my brother. And you can't scare me away from Jax."
"You should be scared." He said, his voice filled with a sad monotony. "I lost my son because of the Sons of Anarchy. You were attacked, almost killed twice. Teller's son was kidnapped. If you aren't scared, then you are more dumb than I ever thought. You should be running far away from that club."
"The Sons didn't kill David." She cried out. "They would never hurt an innocent person."
"Then you don't know them as well as you think you do." He said pointedly. "Innocent or guilty. It never matters to criminals."
"Like you should fucking talk!" She yelled, seeing several of the funeral-goers staring at her including Tara, Unser, and her oldest brother. She lowered her voice, but there was still venom laced in her tone. "You threatened me and Jax. You threatened my unborn child. Don't think I forgot that."
"I was trying to protect you."
"You were trying to protect yourself!" Tears pooled in her eyes. "You never cared about me, or about David, or Jacob. You barely cared about mom. You only care about yourself. Your career. And you're sitting there masking your selfishness with fake concern. You're trying to justify your shitty actions."
"And you sit there and justify yours."
"I didn't do anything wrong!"
"You're involved with the club that's responsible for the death of your brother."
"And you're responsible for the death of my unborn daughter." She whispered angrily, through gritted teeth.
"I wasn't the one driving that car."
"No, but you were the one who drove me away." Tears fell down her cheeks. The realization that he knew about Lily's death caused more hurt to flow through her heart. "And you knew? You knew that my daughter died, but you never reached out. You never picked up a goddamn phone? Like I said, you don't care about me. You never gave a shit about me."
"I loved you. I tried to protect you by sending you away when you were a teenager. I tried to protect your child. I never wanted you involved with Teller or the club. You just didn't listen. You never listen. Now look at what's happening to you. Look at what you're becoming." He took a step back, turning his back on her before stopping for a moment to look at her again. "Your brother is dead. Your children are gone. And it's only a matter of time before you're dead too."
"I hate you!" Vanessa yelled, sobbing uncontrollably as she pushed the older man away from her with all her might. "I fucking hate you!"
Unser watched as Vanessa began throwing around curses and insults at her father. He saw her resolve breaking and he couldn't help but move towards her. He finally reached her, hearing her heartbreakingly loud cries. He saw the pain in her eyes as he took a hold of her hand, pulling her away and back to her car. He listened to her sniffle as they reached the car, opening the passenger side door for her. She sat down and put her head in her hands and he moved to the drivers side.
"You alright, sweetheart?" He asked, watching her shoulders move up and down every few seconds as she released more controlled sobs.
"I fucking hate him." She muttered to the older man. "It should have been him who died, not my mom. My mom… she was good. He's just an asshole that I have always hated."
"Yeah, he's always been a right prick. Never knew what your mother saw in him." Unser shook his head as he spoke, lighting a joint. She looked up and let out a small chuckle before shaking her head too. "What? It's for my cancer. Here, take a hit. You look like you need it more than I do." She stared at him like he had three heads for a second before he spoke again. "Hey, I know how much of a little stoner you are, remember? I was the one who was always getting you and Jax out of trouble."
Vanessa smiled again, wiping her eyes before taking a hit. She inhaled and held it before releasing a heavy exhale, along with some of her stress.
"Thanks, Wayne." She passed him the joint.
"I'm sorry for all the shit you've been through lately." He took a hit. "Must be hard."
"Everyone hates me. They blame me." She closed her eyes, putting her head back against the headrest on the seat. "My dad and brother. Tara. Probably more than half of the club. I couldn't protect Abel. I couldn't save Half Sack. I couldn't help my brother. Everyone hates me, including myself."
"Jax don't hate you or blame you."
"I think there's a part of him trying to push me away because he blames me. He's trying to hide it, but I see it in his eyes. Every time he looks at me I see him thinking that I should have done more. That I should have protected Abel."
"No one blames you, Vanessa. None of this is your fault. This is just what happens sometimes with the club. Sometimes, times get real tough and we just gotta fight. We stick it out." He sighed. "You know what I learned about you over the past few months? You're tougher than anyone realizes. You… you been through hell and back only to still be here. Everything will work itself out and if it doesn't, I know you'll fight for it to work out."
"Yeah." Vanessa nodded with a solemn smile. "Take me home, Wayne."
She was only home for a few minutes when she checked her phone, seeing a bunch of texts and voicemails. She listened to Jax's angry voice on her voicemail and sighed, ignoring his demands to call her back. She walked straight to Abel's room, staring at the room for a few moments until she finally worked up the courage to go in there.
She frowned at the sight of the empty crib before looking to the dresser. She noticed a notepad with Gemma's phone number on it and felt an overwhelming need to speak to the woman. It was strange, but the connection between her and Gemma was growing and she missed her. So she typed out the number and sat on the daybed with a sigh.
"Yeah?" The voice answered hesitantly.
"Gemma, it's me."
"Something wrong?" Gemma asked with a concerned tone.
"No, just calling to check on you."
"You on your cell?"
"A prepay."
"You're learning." Gemma sounded proud. "You okay, sweetheart?"
"Yeah." She chuckled, her eyes filling with tears. "I just needed to hear a friendly voice, I guess."
"You're really goin' through it, baby. What happened with the prospect, then your brother… that's shit no one should have to see. I'm sorry about David. You just gotta hold on to family, baby. That's what's getting me through it." She sighed. "Jax, Abel- don't let go of them. Keep your strength."
"Yeah." Vanessa's eyes filled with tears, wishing that she could hold onto her family right now. But half her family was missing. She was just about to speak again when she heard a loud bang and screaming over the phone. "What was that?"
"Shit." Gemma muttered. "I'll call you back."
Vanessa didn't have a chance to say anything else before the phone was hung up. She sighed to herself, feeling utterly alone once again.
AN: I can't believe this story has almost 95,000 views. That is so incredible and I never thought that it would happen. So thank you to everyone who follows, favorites, and reviews. You guys are amazing.
MaddyeTrager: I'm so glad you're enjoying the story. Thank you for sending me those questions!
NegansGirl2020: I'm glad you enjoyed the last update! I hope you like this one. *SPOILER* There will be no cheating in this story.
BlueBloodsSVUOrder: Thank you for the review! We will learn more about Jesse and how he will play a role in the story. There are a few original storylines and differences from Tara from here on out, so I hope you enjoy them!