"Elizabeth, I think there's something we need to talk about."
Elizabeth glanced up, seeing a serious expression on Nathan's face. She frowned as he sat next to her. "Is something wrong?"
"No," he said, with a shake of his head. "Sorry, I probably should have led with something else."
"That's oka...ouch!" Elizabeth winced as Arianna's new tooth sank into her breast while she nursed. Not yet six months old, their daughters were just starting to teeth, bringing on a fussy stage for the twins and less sleep for their parents.
Concern crossed Nathan's face. "Are you alright?" he asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.
She nodded through the pain, gritting her teeth. "I had breast tenderness when I was pregnant with the girls, so I should have expected it with these babies. I just didn't count on how painful it could be while nursing. Especially when little Miss Arianna decides to bite." She gently broke the suction, wincing again as pain radiated through her chest. Nathan held out his arms for the little girl. Elizabeth handed her over. Nathan began patting Arianna's back while Elizabeth adjusted her clothing.
"Do you want to try switching the girls to formula?" Nathan asked. "I know it's not ideal, but you've been in pain a lot this past week when you nurse them."
Elizabeth sank back against the couch. "It's tempting," she admitted. "But I'd really prefer to breastfeed them as long as possible. They're already going to be cut short because their siblings will be born, and there's no way I can nurse four babies. We'll have to start weaning Arianna and Cecilia in about four months so they'll be done nursing when these little ones arrive." She sighed. "I hope they like baby food." Shifting on the couch, she looked at her husband. "What did you want to talk about?"
"Getting you some help once the twins are born," Nathan said.
Elizabeth raised a brow. Nathan continued. "At some point I'm going to have to go back to work, and I just can't stand the thought of leaving you here on your own all the time with four children under a year old. What if we hire a mother's helper to be here part time? That way you have some help."
Elizabeth thought it over. "How soon after they're born will you have to go back?" she asked.
"I don't know," Nathan admitted. "I asked Bill to work from home until the babies were born, but we didn't really plan anything after. Maybe he would be open to me staying here longer. He was surprisingly understanding about me working from home." He reached out to take her hand. "But Elizabeth, even if I am here, I think it would be helpful to have someone help out part time. Maybe even Allie. I know she's been looking for a job to make some money when she's not in school. The babies are due in June, but they'll probably come in May. Allie will be just going on summer break. That's three months she would be able to help, if she's open to it."
Elizabeth smiled, warming up to the idea. "She does love Arianna and Cecilia," she said. "It would probably be right up her alley."
Nathan looked relieved. "So you'll consider it?"
"Yes, Nathan," Elizabeth said, squeezing his hand. "Why don't you talk to Colleen and Allie about it? I'd love to have her here as a mother's helper. And it would help her and I to deepen our relationship. She's turning into quite a young woman."
"I know," Nathan said with a sigh. "She's not a little girl anymore."
Elizabeth chuckled. "That she's not. She's growing up quickly. Steve is going to have his hands full in a year or two when Allie starts wanting to date."
Nathan sniffed, and Elizabeth laughed at the look on his face. "It's fine, sweetheart. Allie is a smart girl; she won't fall for just anyone."
"Ha!" Nathan gave her a little smirk. "Since when is the heart known to be prudent in a teenager?"
"Not often," Elizabeth replied, giving a little laugh. A sound from the floor caught their attention. Cecilia had pushed herself onto her hands and knees and was giving them a big smile, rocking back and forth on all fours. Elizabeth felt her heart jump. "Nathan! She's already trying to crawl!"
Nathan smiled down at their beaming daughter. "Well, aren't you just getting to be a big girl?" he cooed, eliciting a shriek of delight from Cecilia.
Not to be outdone, Arianna squawked, waving her arms in the air. Nathan placed her on the blanket next to her sister. Arianna promptly copied Cecilia, and the two girls rocked back and forth with squeals of happiness.
Nathan put an arm around Elizabeth. The two of them watched their babies discover a taste of independence, the almost-reached potential of being able to move around without being carried by Mom or Dad.
Elizabeth leaned her head against Nathan's shoulder, then winced involuntarily as her stomach began cramping. She sucked in her breath before remembering to breathe through the pain.
"Elizabeth?" Nathan said, concern lacing his voice. "What's wrong?"
She let out of a little breath as the cramps subsided. "I've been cramping a bit lately," she admitted. "It's been happening since we found out about the pregnancy. I'm going to mention it to Carson at our appointment tomorrow."
The concern on her husband's face increased. "Should we be worried?" he asked, his hand going to her stomach.
Elizabeth smiled at him, putting a hand on his cheek. "If I was bleeding at all, I'd be worried. But I'm not."
The tension on Nathan's face relaxed. "Okay, good. Do you want me to go with you to the appointment?"
Elizabeth shook her head. "It's just a routine checkup. Besides, someone has to watch Arianna and Cecilia," she said, a twinkle in her eyes.
Nathan's eyes smiled into hers. "Oh, so you're looking at this as a break, are you?"
She grinned. "Yes, sir, I am."
Nathan laughed. "Alright. I'll keep them with me." He slid to the floor, sitting in front of their girls. Both of them began squealing once more, rocking a little faster as if the motion would bring them closer to their father. Cecilia plopped onto her stomach and kicked her legs, moving forward slightly. Arianna remained on all fours, grinning at Nathan and giving him baby chortles. Nathan scooped up a daughter in each arm, settling them on his legs as they stretched out in front of him. The twins flapped their hands in delight, happy to be in their father's arms.
Elizabeth felt her heart nearly burst inside at the sweet picture in front of her. Nathan was the perfect father. Hands on, loving, and tender, he always wanted to help with their care. Though he was working full time, albeit at home, he constantly had one or both of the girls with him, making sure Elizabeth wasn't overwhelmed with trying to care for their daughters while carrying two more babies in her womb. It wasn't uncommon for Elizabeth to walk into Nathan's office to find him hard at work, one of the twins playing on the floor or cradled in one arm while he wrote reports or typed information into his laptop.
She slid to the floor herself, giving her husband a hug from behind before kissing his cheek. "I love you, Nathan."
He glanced back at her in surprise. "I love you too, Elizabeth. But what brought that on?"
She smiled. "You being you. Never stop." She pressed a tender kiss to his lips, then kissed each baby on her soft cheeks. "I'm going to make us some lunch."
"Thank you," Nathan said, giving her a smile.
Elizabeth stood, walking to the kitchen to prepare some sandwiches. Another pain passed through her stomach and she paused, breathing a little slower to press through it. It stopped soon after it started, and she felt a twinge of fear. Breathing in once more, she reminded herself that it was normal for women to experience cramping in pregnancy, especially as the babies grew and the stomach needed to expand. It would be all the more common with twins. She already had a small baby bump, even though she wasn't yet sixteen weeks along.
Nevertheless, she would feel better after talking to Carson tomorrow.
Nathan studied the case report in front of him. Lee had sent over a profile on a thief along with the psychological analysis on him. Searching through the file, Nathan looked for any clues as to who the thief might be. The twins were sleeping peacefully in their playpen next to him, giving him uninterrupted time to analyze the data.
He heard the front door open. Glancing at the clock, he frowned in confusion. Elizabeth shouldn't be home yet. She had planned on getting lunch with Faith after her appointment.
Standing, he went to the living room and froze. Elizabeth was standing by the door, grasping the handle as if it was the only thing keeping her upright. He instinctively knew something was very wrong.
He went to her, pulling her into his arms and holding her close. "What is it?" he asked, his voice trembling. "What happened?"
Elizabeth didn't answer. She broke into sobs, clinging to him as her body shook violently against his. Fear shot through Nathan, and he knew without a doubt that she had received bad news at the appointment. He felt helpless in the moment. There was nothing he could do except hold his wife, giving her what comfort he could for a sorrow he didn't yet know.
Eventually Elizabeth's sobs subsided. She slumped against Nathan, her face pressed into his chest. She took shuddering breaths, her chest rising and falling against Nathan faster and then slower as she tried to calm herself.
"Na...Nathan," she whimpered, her hands digging into his back.
Nathan tilted up her chin, looking into her tear-stained eyes. "What is it, sweetheart?" he asked, careful to keep the fear from his voice.
Her tears fell anew as she tried to reply. "Our...baby…" She swallowed hard, looking at him with a tortured expression. "I miscarried one of the twins."
Nathan's heart broke almost as much at Elizabeth's pain as at the fact that they had lost a child. "Oh, sweetheart," he murmured, taking her hand and leading her to the couch. They nestled together, seeking comfort in each other's embrace.
After a few minutes, Elizabeth began talking. "I mentioned the cramping to Carson, and he thought we should take an ultrasound just to see if things looked normal. When the images showed up on the screen, he tried to shield them from me, which told me something was wrong. I made him move away. That's when I saw the empty sac where the baby should be." Her voice broke. "Carson said it was vanishing twin syndrome. There's no explanation for why it happens. It's rare for it to happen this far into a pregnancy. Normally it happens in the first trimester, usually before you can even tell you're pregnant." She sniffed, burrowing closer to him. "Nathan, we've only known about these babies for three weeks, yet this loss is so real." Her tears started again as she buried her face into his neck, her words muffled. "It hurts so much."
"I know," Nathan whispered, his throat working. As much as he hurt from the unexpected news, he knew Elizabeth's pain was much worse. She was the one carrying the babies in her body, forming a connection with them that Nathan couldn't imagine. She would feel the loss more keenly.
"What did I do wrong?" Elizabeth said with a little whimper.
Nathan pulled back slightly, taking Elizabeth's face in his hands and looking directly into her eyes. "Nothing," he said fervently, willing her to believe him. "This is not your fault, Elizabeth. Sometimes things happen that we have no control over. This is one of those things. You did nothing wrong."
Elizabeth's lip trembled. "I know that in my head," she said, her voice small. "It's my heart that doesn't believe that."
Feeling at a loss for words, Nathan pulled Elizabeth back into his embrace, holding her as close as possible. Words might fail him, but he could at least offer her his physical strength. He held her until a small cry pierced the silence. Cecilia had woken up and was crying her hungry cry.
Elizabeth wiped her eyes, giving Nathan a grateful smile. "Thank you, Nathan. For being here," she said.
He lifted her hand to his lips, placing a gentle kiss there. "I always will be," he promised. Standing, he placed a hand on her shoulder. "You wait here. I'll get Cecilia." Walking to his office, he picked his crying daughter up, kissing her wet cheek. "Hey, baby girl," he said softly, walking her back to the living room. "Mama is here. She'll feed you and get that tummy of yours happy again, okay?"
He sat beside Elizabeth once more, handing her their squirming, shrieking daughter. Elizabeth quickly got herself ready, then held Cecilia to her breast. The baby immediately stopped crying and latched on, her little mouth working overtime to get her mother's milk into her stomach.
Elizabeth was watching Cecilia, holding her closer than usual, tears slowly making their way down her cheeks again. Nathan reached out, gently wiping the moisture away. Elizabeth looked at him through watery eyes, smiling her gratitude. Though he still didn't have the right words to say, Nathan sensed that Elizabeth just needed him nearby right now. He slid an arm around her shoulders, holding her as close as possible while she nursed their daughter. Elizabeth let out a sigh and rested her head against his shoulder.
The three of them cuddled together for a long time. Elizabeth finished nursing Cecilia and nestled her into her arms. Nathan held them both. Soon, worn out from her emotional turmoil, Elizabeth fell asleep in his arms. Nathan leaned back against the couch, supporting both his wife and his daughter as they slept.
He knew the weeks ahead were going to be rough, but he also knew they would get through them together.