The next days were a blur, filled with planning and deliberations and gathering the little bits of information that was trickling down via various sources, both official and unofficial ones that Jarvis had acquired on Stark's orders.

Most of Stark's monetary assets were frozen and – with the lack of reports on his current whereabouts – both his enterprise and his past went under public scrutiny, with every questionable detail being dragged into the light and heavily discussed, including some truly disturbing details. Loki expected the man to be troubled by that, but Stark just waved his hand and shrugged dismissively, claiming that he still had enough resources and that "it wasn't the first time the media went medieval on his ass", whatever that meant.

Loki himself stayed out of the way, most of the time, unless his expertise was required, which was – to his initial surprise – quite often. He knew the most about the workings of the scepter – which was still shamefully little – so that was understandable. The fact that they had no problems with including him in the overall strategy planning was significantly more baffling.

Only Captain Rogers seemed to avoid Loki any way he could. Natasha pointed out that he was avoiding everyone and that having to stand against the apparatus of the country that he made his entire persona around protecting wasn't doing anything good to his mental health, but there was something pointed in the long-suffering gazes Rogers sent his way when he thought Loki wasn't aware of his presence.

The rest had no similar qualms though. Especially Sam, who went out of his way to include Loki in as many activities as he could, and it wasn't long before Loki caught up to the pattern. He should be offended by the notion that the human decided Loki ought to be coddled like a child, but in truth, it was a welcome break to the routine and helped get his mind off worrying about what the immediate future might hold, especially since Sam introduced him to the concept of video games. While it still required one to spend hours staring at a screen – as seemed to be the rule for most of the modern human entertainment – it was by far more involving than watching movies and required no context – that he was usually missing – to be enjoyable.

Sam was the most obnoxious in his attempts but wasn't the only one. Pepper would start a small, idle chat each time she noticed Loki skulking through the house that he invariably had no idea how to respond to. She also brought him a scented shampoo when she went to town for supplies and helped him order some new clothes, claiming that Stark was a great guy but didn't have "an inch of the fashion sense in him".

Natasha started to spend her mornings on exercise and combat training with Sam and Barton. Stark joined them once or twice and Loki itched to do so as well, but Banner was adamant that he shouldn't. Loki would perhaps argue with the doctor if he didn't feel it himself. His body had no reserves to turn back into muscle mass he has lost and there was only so much he could be given intravenously without being trapped in bed all day.

Stark did not return to their conversation about the possibility of releasing Loki from Odin's magic yet. As much as Loki yearned to at least try, he didn't push it. The humans had more important matters to settle, like preparing the attack against their own government. Bringing it up in the wrong moment could meet with a refusal; waiting it out and not breaching the subject again until after the humans dealt with Hydra was the most reasonable course of action. At least if there was an "after". It was evident that it wasn't certain, they were up against a significant force that even their own personal strengths were no match for, and Loki could do little to actually help. Of course, if he had his magic still, it would be a different conversation, but even with that it wouldn't be an easy fight and that merit was beyond the point of discussion. Even if they got the gag off now, it would take weeks, if not months, for Loki to regain full access to his powers. If it could happen at all. He had never been locked away from his core so thoroughly and for so long. Perhaps that part of him was already dead and there was nothing to restore, once he was free of the All-Father's curse.

Unable to partake in the training and refusing to just stand aside and do nothing, Loki started going on walks. The first one he had to cut short, because even the two-league, slow march along the eastern part of Stark's property border has left him winded and set the unused muscles in his legs to burning. He scoffed at Banner's suggestion that he was pushing himself too hard – no matter how frail the humans took him for, he wasn't too weak for walking – and tried again the next day. And the next, and the one after that, and by the end of the week, he could start at the break of day, make a round of the Stark's land perimeter and be back before midday, just in time for the daily proceedings. It wasn't a success worth bragging about, but it was still a small win he was willing to grant himself. Plus, the time he spent outside did wonders to his sleeping patterns – gone were the hours he had to spend staring at the ceiling, waiting for the sleep to claim him. Most of the nightmares, too.

Today he woke up a bit later than usually – as per humans' weekend custom, although the days didn't seem any different to Loki and Banner's confused explanations that it has to do with some religious rituals that were still practiced by certain people didn't make much sense – and proceeded to quietly put on his clothes. Up until now, he was successful at not waking Natasha up with his preparations, but his luck has run out, it seemed. She turned to face him and squinted her eyes in the half-light.

"You're getting ready to slip out again?" she asked, her voice still raspy from sleeping.

[It's hard to remain hidden under Jarvis' watchful eye. I'm sure he knows exactly where I am at any given moment.]

"Loki, I'm obliged to inform you," Jarvis even voice came from the speaker, a bit quieter than usual, "that, while your activities are monitored, this is a standard safety precaution for all residents and the logs haven't been reviewed by anyone since the first day you've arrived."

"Like that makes it any better," Natasha snarled.

It actually did make it better, if Loki was to be honest with himself. If it was true, at least.

"So, where are you sneaking to?"

Loki shrugged. [I'm going for a walk.]

"Yeah, I know, but where to?"

He let out a sigh. [I was looking at maps yesterday and found a small lake, just a short walk from here. It's outside the border, but just barely and still within the cover of the forests and away from any route, so I thought…] He stopped. There was no point in further explanations. Now that he admitted he was going to breach Stark's property line, there was no way he was going to be allowed to go. Not now, perhaps not even in the future, although he might be able to smooth it over with Stark later, if he used the right arguments.

"Great," she said and sprung out of bed. "Can I grab a quick shower, or do you want to go right now?"

[What are you doing?]

"I'm coming with you," she said and stopped with her hand on the bathroom doorknob, studying his face. "Unless you don't want me to go?"

Loki wanted her to go, very much. [Don't you have more important duties to attend to?]

She chuckled and rolled her shoulders. "Clint and Sam will be fine training on their own for a day. Maybe they can even drag Cap over if I'm not there. I want to spend some time with you. If we're back before Stark wakes up all will be fine."

He stood there, unsure how to answer.

"So, a shower then we go?"

[Okay.]

She flashed a smile and closed the door behind herself, leaving Loki standing there, gaping at the wall.

To call the small pond "a lake" was a bit of an overstatement and Natasha was astonished Loki was able to find his way without checking a map even once. Not surprised though, he had an amazing spatial awareness and she already knew it extended to navigating his way in an unfamiliar environment.

"Yep, it's a puddle all right," she judged with a chuckle.

She wasn't disappointed, not really. It was a nice, quiet place, surrounded by trees, with a small path that looked like it was used mostly by animals leading to what was left of an old jutty – a few boards and stumps of wooden stilts sticking up from the surface. A gaggle of geese rustled in the reeds and took flight when they approached.

Loki's eyes – wide and astonished – traced the ascent until the birds disappeared behind the line of the trees.

"You act like you've never seen a goose," she joked.

[Not from up close.]

She chuckled. "The kind they have in Asgard is probably way more awesome anyway."

[No. There are no indigenous animals on Asgard anymore, she is too small to have an actual ecosystem.]

"So, what were the hunts for?"

[Various beasts. On Vanaheim or Alfheim. There used to be hunts on Jotunheimr too, in the past, but not so much in my time.]

"What would they hunt there?"

Loki shrugged and averted his gaze.

Right.

He let out a sigh and started to pull his sweater off.

"What are you doing?"

[Going for a swim.]

"Are you serious?"

He crooked his head and eyed her curiously, his hands frozen mid-motion and she realized how meaningless her argument was going to be even before she uttered it. She still did, weakly, "It's the end of October."

[I assume it means something important.]

"It means the water… You know, never mind. Really. Go for it."

[Want to join me?]

"Oh, what the hell," she muttered and started undoing her jacket.

The water was exactly as cold as she expected and she lasted maybe three minutes before she gave up and crawled back out, shaking uncontrollably as she put her clothes back on. If she knew, she would have brought a towel at least.

Loki, unsurprisingly, seemed completely fine. He still got out of the water quickly, the moment he realized she surrendered. Just seeing him emerge from the pond – like some sort of a mythological forest spirit about to present her with an enchanted sword, completely naked, with ice-cold water dripping down from his hair – sent another set of shivers down her spine. She wrapped her clothes closer around herself and rubbed her arms. She should've learned by now that she couldn't match him in everything.

[We can have a fire,] he suggested.

"No, it would take too long to get it going. I would rather go home if it's all the same to you," she said. "I can make my way back on my own if you want to stay."

He studied her quivering lips and shaking hands. [No. Let's go.]

"I'm sorry I ruined your morning stroll," she said, sipping the fruity tea Banner made her, after giving her a Tylenol and some vitamins, as much as she insisted she didn't need it.

Loki regarded her for a moment. [It was my fault. I should've realized…]

She slowly got up, put the cup down on the side table then launched herself back at him. She got him by surprise and managed to tackle him down to the bed. She sat astride his stomach, pinning his arms to the mattress. He could get her off in no time if he tried, but he didn't, and just lay there, staring back at her, his face a mix of shock and amusement.

"See? I'm not as useless as you think," she laughed, then rolled off of him. "I also have a brain on my own and, while it might not be as awesome as yours, I can still use it, from time to time."

He huffed out a laugh. She propped her head with her palm and watched him, as his expression shifted to a more serious one. [I have to ask you for a favor.]

"Shoot."

[Stark has an idea that might work to remove the gag,] he said, his eyes still on the ceiling.

"What? That's great!" she exclaimed, and her enthusiasm immediately died down. If it were some easy solution, they'd have it done already and Loki wouldn't be so worried about it. "What's the problem?"

[I need to die for it to work.]

"What?!"

[Temporarily, I hope. Stark's right. It's the only way to break the spell. Without it, the gag is just a piece of metal. Once Odin's magic is gone, there should be a way to remove it with human technology, especially since Stark is involved.]

"And you're considering doing it?"

[No,] he said, then added, before the relieved breath escaped her lips. [I'm already decided. If Stark agrees I'm going to allow him to do it.]

"Do what?! Kill you?"

[Yes.] He still wasn't looking at her.

"Uhm… And how does Stark intend to do that?"

[I'm not sure. He said he needed to consult Banner about a way of doing it safely – which I assume means a way that leaves no lasting damage – and he might have no time to do it yet. I'm guessing it's not going to be easy, most methods I've read about won't work on my physiology.]

"No time? When did you talk about it?"

His eyebrows pulled into a frown. [About a week ago.]

"And only now you decided to tell me?!"

[You were busy, and no good opportunity presented itself.]

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was not the time to lose it. He was walking in circles for a week, reading about the methods of getting himself killed on the internet and trying to find a way to tell her and this was the best chance he saw. She wasn't going to make him feel like he squandered it. He deserved a chance to explain, as much as she wanted to answer with a categorical 'no' and be done with it. "And how is that 'temporary' part supposed to work?"

[That's the favor I need to ask of you. Once the curse is broken, you need to bring me back to life.]

She blinked at him. "And what gave you two the idea that I can do it?"

[You have already done it once. Given, I wasn't dead for as long, but…]

"Uhm, what?"

He turned to her and studied her with knitted brows. [Back on the island, when you healed me?]

"I'm starting to feel like a parrot, but… What?!"

[I died. You brought me back.]

"But how… How can you even tell?" He used the phrase before referring to what happened that day, but she assumed he meant it as a metaphor and not in the literal sense. "Maybe you just lost consciousness, right?"

He shook his head. [I died before. I know how it feels.]

The full implication of that crashed over her in an instant. She saw him die and didn't even realize it. "Does that mean… If I tried to remove the muzzle then, you'd be free from it right now?"

[No. If the spell broke, it would remain so. If what Stark says about it draining energy straight from the cells of my body is right – and it does sound plausible – I'd have to be dead for much longer for the magic to unravel.]

"Longer? How long do we talk about here?"

[I'm not sure. A few days?]

"A few days…" she repeated numbly. "Are you completely mental?"

[The cellular metabolism needs to stop for my body to stop producing energy. I understand the period is shorter for humans, but elder races are more resilient in that regard, even the Jotnar.]

"You're plotting with Stark to kill yourself and stay dead for days and then just hope I'll somehow be able to bring you back to life without even knowing what I'm doing? If that's not a definition of insanity I don't know what is! What's the warranty your brain won't turn to mash after that time?"

[I'm guessing Stark will think of a way to preserve my brain function.]

"You're guessing!? Oh, for fuck's sake, what is wrong with you!?" she yelled. Loki's hands shot up. She pointed a finger at him. "No, don't answer that! I get where you're coming from but… Jarvis? Where's Stark?!"

"Mr. Stark is currently asleep in his workshop. Should I inform him that you're requesting his presence, Miss Romanoff?"

"No," she grounded through clenched teeth, "I'm going to go down and end his sorry existence right then and there."

"Miss Romanoff, I understand this is an overemphasis based on the emotional response you're experiencing but I still feel impelled to remind you that neither menacing misdemeanor nor senseless acts of violence are a good way to solve interpersonal misunderstandings."

"Fuck off!" she yelled at the camera and stormed out of the room.

Loki stayed, still sprawled flat on the bed.

That went well.

There was a knock on the door. Why did the humans insist on knocking while they knew damn well he couldn't answer?

[Tell whoever it is to come in,] he showed at the corner and Jarvis obliged.

The door opened and Sam's head appeared in the gap. "I've heard Romanoff's possessed screaming and I popped in to check if she didn't chew your head off," he explained.

[I'm fine.]

Sam slunk into the room and sat down on the bed. "You want to tell me what happened?"

[No.]

The man chuckled. "I get it. We are all nervous, but I don't think it's a good reason to…"

[I told her Stark is going to kill me and I'm going to allow him.]

"Okay. I hope there's more to that story?"

[It's the only way to get this off.] Loki waved his hand at his face.

"I see."

[Ideally, it wouldn't be a permanent state.]

"I've read that between the lines, yeah."

[I wish Natasha understood why I want this.]

"I think she does. I understand, and I've known you for like a week. But she's also worried about you and she doesn't want you to die."

[I know. But I don't know why.]

"That's how love works, pal."

Loki crooked his head and regarded Sam through narrowed eyes.

"Oh, don't tell me you needed me to say it," Sam said with a grin, then his smile faded away and his forehead wrinkled. "Seriously?"

[You're wrong. I am…] Loki pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes. He had heard declarations of admiration and loyalty and love before, time after time, and it always boiled down to one, simple truth. [Unlovable.]

"Apparently not."

"Stark!"

"Mhm?" he murmured, halfway through pulling himself up from the couch. Jarvis has warned him what is coming but he kind of hoped Romanoff would blow some of the steam on breaking a couple of pieces of interior décor on the way here. No such luck.

She smashed her fists on the metal tabletop. "What the fuck!"

"I assume Loki told you?"

"You're goddamned right he told me. What the fuck were you thinking?!"

"Romanoff, be…"

"Don't 'Romanoff' me, Stark!"

Tony rubbed his eyes and let out a yawn. He didn't expect it to end any other way, but getting yelled at was getting kind of old at this point. He got off the couch and shuffled his way across the workshop to pour himself a glass of water from the sink. Five drinks might have been one or two too many. Romanoff's thunderous glare was tickling his skin and he could almost sense the heat of the moment radiating from her.

"Well?" she prompted.

"I do not need to explain myself to you, but I'll tell you what I was thinking about," he snarled, "just as a common courtesy. The fucking medieval torture device Loki is forced to wear for the last year and a half and how it must feel to have one's newly healed oral cavity torn to shreds all over again. Those were the only things on my mind when I was grasping at straws to think up the ways to remove it."

That seemed to knock down Romanoff's wrath levels a notch or two. "What are you talking about?"

"After we came back from New York, Bruce ran a blood test and a quick scan to check if your voodoo bullshit didn't do any harm or left any damage that required attention. And it didn't, yet what goes for inflammation markers in Loki's body were off the charts. So, Bruce did a full exam, and it turns out your magic worked too well." Tony was prepared to continue, but her raised hand stopped him and he was glad it did. He really didn't want to go into details, just visualizing it in his head made it bad enough and he couldn't imagine saying it out loud would make it any better.

She clapped down on the chair and hid her face in her palms, muttering curses in at least three different languages under her breath. "He never told me a thing."

"Did you expect him to?"

She shook her head. "Could it work?"

"In theory? Yes. In practice? Not a fucking clue. The curse part is actually rather easy, at least if what Loki told us about such magic is true. And he seems to know what he is talking about here, given the fact that the other part of that statement checked out. I scanned the shackles back and forth and there's no trace of energy of any kind left stored in them, while they gave me weird spikes all across the spectrum when Loki was still wearing them.

"Even bringing Loki back to life is not the hardest part. I've talked to Bruce and we may not even need you, if we proceed with caution, our awesome Midgardian medicine might do the trick.

"Doing the deed is actually the problem. Even without his godly powers, Loki is still absurdly tough. He can survive extremely low temperatures, even for prolonged periods of time, withstand electric shocks that would kill a horse and his body would metabolize drugs and poisons that would mow down ten grown men in a matter of hours and you really, really don't want to know how I found that out. That's three main candidates to strike out of the top of the list, and the further we go, the higher the chance of doing irreparable damage is going to get."

"This is so surreal," she said in an empty tone, "to hear you go about killing a person like you would about your next big project."

"It's both at the same time, I suppose," Tony said, and he didn't like how it sounded, not at all. "We are just trying to do something. At this point it feels like it's more inhumane to not try to do it."

She nodded. "Yeah," she admitted and the strain in her voice showed it cost her a lot to force it out. "Loki said it might take days for the curse to go away."

Tony let out a breath. "Bruce approximates forty-eight to seventy-two hours."

She rubbed her forehead and pressed her fingers to her temples. "Loki acts like he expects a blow each time anyone but me is in the room, yet he still trusts you enough to allow you to do it," she pointed out.

"He thinks he has no other options."

"Does he?"

"I really wish I could answer 'yes' here," Tony said and scratched his beard. "I also wish we lived in a perfect world where such procedures were not necessary. But we do not, and I want to start preparations as soon as we can, but I need access to my tower for that. I've already done anything I could from here and Bruce has only a couple of synthesized compounds simulations left to run, but I expect each to end with the same result as the last seventy-seven – it's not going to be enough."

"You have a plan B?"

"Yes, and you're not going to like it any more than I do."

She glowered.

"There's a bit more science behind it, but it's basically to knock Loki out with a powerful general anesthetic, add tetrodonic acid to paralyze his diaphragm, stash him into an ice bath and wait for him to die from hypothermia-aided respiratory failure."

"You want to… drown him."

"No, the ice bath is for preventing brain damage later," Tony said, trying – and failing – to suppress a shudder. "We are going to cut out the oxygen supply. I would love to say he isn't going to feel a thing, but I don't know if there's a narcotic strong enough to keep him under for the toxin to work its course and not do irreparable damage to his liver."

It wasn't as hard to say it as he expected, considering that they had to pause the same conversation with Bruce three times, twice to stave off a Hulk incident and once for Tony to puke into the workshop sink.

Romanoff had tears in her eyes and her hands were shaking.

"We are not going to do anything before we're sure Loki knows exactly what he is signing up for and gives a fully informed consent," Tony added, like it changed anything.

"He will."

"I know."

"Loki," Jarvis' voice said, pulling Loki out of the idle musings about Sam's words. "Mr. Stark asks if you could come down to the workshop if you have a minute."

[Tell him I'm coming,] Loki showed and pulled himself up with a grunt. He expected the summon. Not only he left the property on his own and Stark had to give him at least a cursory reprimand for that, he also mishandled his talk with Natasha, botching his end of the bargain and his only shot at freedom.

It seemed like he miscalculated though. The workshop was full of people, with everyone already in places. He took the old spot next to Natasha and his heart skipped a beat when she brushed her fingers on his arms, making the lump of worry in his throat easier to breathe around.

"I suppose you're all wondering why I've gathered you here today," Stark opened, to a loud groan from Clint and a heavy sight from Mr. Hogan.

"No, Tony, you told us yesterday there will be a meeting," Captain America said, and Loki had to suppress the urge to laugh. He might not get the context, but he already learned to recognize the tone Stark used for his confusing references and that was definitely one of those.

Stark rolled his eyes. "I feel like all my precious remarks are absolutely lost on you, Rogers. Look, everyone got it, even Loki!" he said, waving his hand. "And he is an alien, from a different planet!"

Loki didn't, not truly, but he wasn't going to correct Stark's belief in that regard. Or waste time to tell him that Asgard wasn't a planet. The man was too defensive of his jokes.

"Will you get to the point somewhen today?" Natasha prompted.

Stark looked at her like he wanted to say something snappy but didn't and Loki was grateful for the uncharacteristic self-control the man decided to display. With so many people trying to one-up one another they could really be stuck in the workshop till tomorrow.

"I have good news and bad news," Stark said. "Which one you want to hear first?"

"The bad," Natasha uttered, the same moment Captain Rogers went for "the good."

"Jarvis interjected and decoded the external comms between the council and the White House. There was an order to push forward the launch of one of the Helicarriers from next month to this Monday. There wasn't much in the memo, so it might be only a virgin test flight and they're not ready to start with the actual program, but it might be a premature ejaculation as well and we might never get a chance to have them in one place again. So, we have to go tomorrow."

"I hope that was the bad news," Natasha murmured quietly.

"We are not ready," Clint groaned. "We need more time."

"We are as ready as we can be. And this is all the time we can get. Everything is more or less done, tech side. As for the rest – we are at my best when I have to improvise anyway."

Loki had to agree, albeit reluctantly. How could enemies tell what they were going to do if they didn't know the plan themselves? It was a lesson he learned from Thor, time after time, and he just got used to embracing the chaos that usually ensued. Besides, even the best of his own plans usually crashed and burned when there was more than himself involved, so he rarely bothered with planning more than a few steps ahead anymore.

It looked like the humans didn't share his sentiment in that regard.

"And what was the good news?" asked Steve Rogers.

"I found Sergeant Barnes."