New update ! R & R
Derek was waiting for Hunt in his office.
They had brought Michael to his very first visit in Paediatrics, where he had been promoted with flying colours.
Meredith had excused herself to go to the ladies' room but Shepherd suspected she had taken the chance to go and say hi to her friends, gossiping on resident life, taking a look around.
He was sure she missed the hospital.
She loved Michael and becoming a mother had given her a new light, but after living for more than ten years night and day withing those walls, he was sure she missed her job, her profession and her crazy friends.
Being there as visitor was affecting him too.
Doctor not doctor, surgeon not surgeon.
This leave had mixed with big problems and Derek was off without feeling totally off.
His head was full of worries, doubts and he hated that.
He hated that he was supposed to break his brain on Harris' surgery details, to improve his plan, study each detail, each flaw, everything he could kind of predict and solve before having a sixteen-year-old opened up on his table.
Instead he was stuck in lawyers quarrels, law suits, papers. It was draining him out and never as now he would need all his energy, his busting creativity, his instinct, his mind free to think, study, process, rationalise, dissect problems and ideas like he would do with a damaged artery.
Moments like this made him realize like he had never been cut to be chief.
He hated all this. His ego had been flattered by the idea to be the ultimate authority of the department, to be able to manage and address things according to his wishes. But, as Richard had pointed out once, being a good boss meant to have each surgeon thrive according to their style, their inclination. Shepherd had, as head of neurosurgery and world known neurosurgeon, all the influence he needed to do his job, lead others without the bother to handle budgets, deal with sharks as insurances and lawyers.
Michael's tiny hand landing on his mouth stopped his train of thoughts.
He looked down to his son, kissing his little palm.
"Sorry, buddy. Daddy was distracted" he smiled. His son was really dressed like a little prince. Meredith had chosen one of the rompers his mother had sent. It was light blue and Derek was scared to discover it had been one of his own. Sofia Shepherd was known to keep and preserve everything. The last touch of Shepherdness was the handmade bonnet, with a huge pom-pom on top. His sisters had always hated those and Derek was sure he had been the only child unable to say no to his mother.
"I'm sorry they made you look like a candy, little man. I promise I will protect you from all those evil women from now on".
He adjusted the walker on his shoulders, loving the feeling of Michael's hands pressing like butterflies on his chest. He walked towards the glass wall overlooking the lobby and the catwalk, trying to spot Meredith or someone else. His son whimpered, his fingers stretching towards the window.
"Yes… this is where Mommy and Daddy work… a big noisy hospital" he said softly, rocking the baby. "And over there is where you were born" he smiled when Michael seemed to follow his finger. "We are going to spend a lot of time here and you will too, you know" he continued "there is this big and beautiful day care with a lot of smart and friendly kids. You will make a lot of friends and have great fun"
He stopped hearing loud voices coming to the office. He peered to the door just in time to see it swinging open, Cristina, Lexie and Meredith almost tripping inside.
"It's my Godkid" Cristina said waving her hand, apparently claiming her right over Michael.
"And he's my nephew" Lexie snapped trying to pass Cristina and having both Meredith and Mark roll their eyes.
"What's going on?" Derek asked, turning around to protect Michael from the agitated females.
"They are fighting on whom gets to hold him first" Mark rolled his eyes, sinking in the leather couch, an annoyed expression on his face.
"Give me my Godkid, Mc Dreamy" Cristina said, grasping Derek's arm and trying to touch the baby.
"Don't even think about it" he said irritated, trying to keep them both at bay.
"Excuse me?" Cristina and Lexie said in unison, glaring at him angrily.
"You got it right, ladies" Derek snapped, caressing his son's head sweetly.
"Ladies…" Mark muttered under his breath from the couch "more like hyenas" he finished, eliciting a giggle from Meredith and an outraged look from Cristina and Lexie.
"If you want to hold my son, you will calm down and not behave like sprinters" he scorned, meeting Meredith's proud gaze.
"I'm sorry, Derek. I didn't mean to behave like this… " Lexie apologized, shame painted on her face. "I just want to cuddle him a bit… I missed seeing him" she admitted, her cheeks flashed.
"Yes, me too, Mc Dreamy" Cristina said through gritted teeth. Derek arched his brows, amused, locking eyes with Meredith.
"Is the world going to freeze right away?" he joked smirking "Cristina Yang apologizing… that's a first"
Cristina rolled her eyes when both Meredith and Mark chuckled.
"Don't push your luck, Mc Dreamy" she retrieved sinking on the couch, patting for Lexie the spot close to her "we have a copycat now… don't need you anymore" she smirked stretching her hands, letting him understand they were really serious about enjoying cuddle time.
Meredith shrugged and Derek lifted Michael out of the walker, handling him gently to Cristina.
"Oh my goodness, look at you" Lexie cooed, almost jumping on the couch for excitement. Cristina had laid the boy on her knees and she was smiling brightly.
"Cristina… Cristina… I'm aunt Cristina" she kept repeating, a huge smile on her face, taking courage from the wide grin stretching on his godkid's lips. Derek just shook his head and sat near Mark.
"Thanks for that, man" Mark joked patting his friend's knee. Derek rolled his eyes, closing both arms across his chest. "It was a whole ten minutes she didn't blow my ears off with hereditary Mc Dreamity" Derek gave him a sympathetic look, his eyes glistening with pride and amusement at the same time.
"Wondering how a little Mc Steamy would look like, Sloan?" Cristina asked sharply, sending him a quick look.
"Totally a cookie, like his dad" Mark stated, ignoring Derek who was shaking his head, half amused half resigned.
"Well…" Cristina started, drawing everybody's attention on her person "I'd never thought I'd say that but… I've finally found something Mc Dreamy can do right" she said, her eyes lost on the baby staring back at her quietly.
"I did something too, Cristina" Meredith scoffed, tapping her foot on the floor.
"A big something, Mer" Cristina smirked "the copycat does not have a lumpy nose as the original"
Everybody laughed and Derek simply shook his head.
Hurried footsteps echoed from the alley and the door closed.
"Sorry, Shep" Owen's voice sounded closer "I was…" he stopped dead in his tracks, taking in all the people in his office. His mouth closed and then opened again and Derek realized they hadn't acted respectfully.
"I'm sorry, chief" he said standing up and meeting him in the middle of the room "I was waiting for you and everybody kind of walked in… We should have brought this outside" he apologized, glaring to Mark to stand up himself.
"Yes, we should have, Hunt" Mark slurred, following Derek's example.
"It's ok" Owen dismissed them "I just didn't expect all this crowd" he smiled, going to sit behind his desk. Derek saw his eyes lingering on Cristina, still holding Michael and cuddling him. "How is sleep going?" he chuckled to relieve the tension, raking a hand through his hair.
"Good" Derek smiled honestly, sending a loving glare to his son and wife "I guess being surgeons helps with all-nighters" he smiled, adjusting his hair.
"Yeah… probably" Owen nodded, a pregnant silence fell in the room and Meredith took a deep breath.
"Guys…" she said to both Lexie and Cristina "I think it's time you leave" she added, picking up her son, ignoring Cristina's surprised look.
"Oh come on" Yang rolled her eyes, standing.
"We have stuff to discuss" she snapped, her eyes narrowing trying to communicate to Cristina to shut up and leave. Her person nodded, finally understanding Derek was waiting for Hunt for a reason.
"Okay" she nodded, approaching Meredith and kissing Michael's cheek, causing Derek to send a shocked glare to Owen. "Let's go, people" she addressed to Lexie and Mark. She made her way to the door, holding it open for them. She watched her friends complimenting the baby, one kissing his forehead, the other pinching his cheek. Mark and Lexie were already out when Derek spoke.
"Why don't you all go to the cafeteria, Mer?" he suggested quietly, locking eyes with her "you can spend some more time together, see if you meet the Chief and Bailey" he said, stopping when somebody cleared their throat meaningfully. Derek turned to Owen and shame painted on his face realizing his gaffe. "Sorry" he muttered.
"No problem" Owen chuckled.
Derek looked to his wife, still standing in the middle of the room. He closed the space between the two of them and kissed her.
"Are you sure?" she asked softly, not wanting to leave him alone.
"Yes… I will call you later, Mer, I promise" he said, snuggling his nose to inhale her scent.
"All right, big kids" Cristina snapped, taking them out of the intimacy "you're not half the fun my godkid is so… let's go Mer" she waved her hand rushing her out and closing the door behind their back. When they walked on the catwalk, Derek smiled seeing Cristina was holding their baby.
"Little Shepherd delivered a miracle" Owen chuckled, taking in the scene Derek had admired before.
"Yeah" Derek laughed, sitting himself, raking his hair nervously.
"How are you holding up?" Owen asked, giving Derek a sympathetic look.
"I don't know" Derek answered honestly, his eyes down. "Most time I'm good and focused on the surgery, other moments I can hear allegations and I can't believe I'm in that place again" he breathed out, giving Hunt a small smile.
"I know it's hard, Shepherd. My blood boiled when I read that file and it's not even my ass on the line" he watched carefully his colleague, trying to read his eyes and features.
"Well… it's kind what we expected and were promised so… I'm more shocked about the insurance trying to grab that woman's house" he admitted, stroking his eyes tiredly.
"Lauren is on it, Derek" Owen said, trying to find reassuring words "the Board granted the Dawsons legal assistance and she is helping even in that"
He read gratitude and relief on the neurosurgeon's face.
"That's kind of big from them and from you too, of course" Derek breathed out, relaxing against the chair.
"We are doing what we have to do, Shep" Owen sighed "I hate what they are trying to do here and the way they are doing it" he snorted, moving stuff on his desk "these are the things that make me hate this job and being a doctor" he admitted, sharing a knowing look with Derek.
"I have been there, Owen, and I want you to know something" Derek started, swallowing. The concept he was trying to express was a boulder, a rock in his chest. And the reason he had wanted Meredith out of that room.
"Derek…" Owen prodded him, a little bit incredulous reading the emotions on his colleague's face. His eyes had turned light blue and Hunt could read something he had never seen on his face: resignation.
"If we arrive to the point that you have to choose between me and what remains of the life of that woman…" Derek trailed off, his voice choked up.
"Shepherd" Hunt shook his head in disbelief, raising his palm to stop him.
"You will protect your patient and let me face the consequences of my actions" Derek ended, his voice dead serious and his eyes flashing.
"Are you serious?" Owen asked, his voice shaking in disbelief.
"I'm dead serious, Hunt" he assessed, his face blank of emotions.
"What the fuck happened to you?" Owen snarled after a moment of silence, slamming his palm on the table.
"Excuse me?" Derek argued back, tensing in his sit.
"I said… what the fuck happened to you?" he repeated, standing up and towering Derek, still on his chair.
"Nothing happened to me" he denied, feeling his temper raising.
"Don't give me that shit, Shepherd" Owen continued, his finger pointed at Derek "where is the badass surgeon who used to bark to everyone and did not accept remarks or advice?" he shouted, drawing the attention of several people outside his office.
"Maybe he realized that sometimes he should have listened instead of barking and accepted one hell of advice" Derek said quietly.
"Oh no, Derek, this is not it" he shook his head in disbelief "this is you bending in front of abuse and bullying"
"That's quite the opposite" he retorted, standing and facing Hunt. "I don't want that woman to lose everything she has because I planted a sterile seed in her head"
"Bullshit" Hunt shouted on his face, gritting his teeth "you did not plant a sterile seed. You did give her a perspective and it's not your fault her insurance agent is an ass with double standards"
"Owen…" Derek said, weakly, hiding his eyes and breathing out.
"No… you became a listener, right?" he slammed his hand on the desk again and Derek flinched "I'll make sure you listen to me now" he snapped "just be a fucking doctor, Derek" he said, his hands on his hips. "The only way you can fight for Harris and Michelle Dawson is medicine. It's surgery" he insisted, his hands joined in front of his chest "You are the last fence between those people and a hurricane, you don't get to bend in front of a heartless son of a bitch" he said firmly, his eyes boring into Derek's.
"I'm not bending" Derek retorted, holding his gaze "I'm just telling you that if I can't stop the hurricane, I want you to divert it, even if that means to leave me behind".
Their eyes locked and Owen realized for the first time how deep the situation was cutting into him, how deep the previous wounds had affected Derek's attitude.
He got his point of view, a part of him even respected him.
The lawyer had clearly mentioned the chance the insurance could try to play mrs. Dawson at some point; Hunt knew they could also try to manipulate the hospital in the name of the bigger picture.
Derek was the man at the front and was giving him his permission to be sacrificed.
It was not an option.
"I came home from two fucking wars and I've never left one man behind" Owen snapped sitting behind his desk "Go study, Derek" he dismissed him unceremoniously scattering papers around to busy his hands "go prepare your surgery, do your great best and let us manage the rest" he ended, opening and closing a drawer forcefully, snorting. Derek looked down to him and sighed, nodding.
He picked up his jacket and walker and left, not making a sound.
Derek had taken Owen's suggestion and retired in the confined space of the lab.
It had felt like a good idea at the time but he had a very hard time to focus on anything.
His notes lied scattered on the desk, the board full of scans and exams, some unreadable scribble on a notepad.
He raked a hand in his hair and turned around, his arms closed across his chest, scanning last MRI.
His plan was clear. Absolutely crazy and difficult and with a lot of critical points to overcome.
Around eight, nine hours before aggressing the heart of the matter.
The tumour was like a giant octopus, a vice squeezing Harris' organs and vessels.
Tumoral cells had anchored to his intestine and then stomach, infiltrating his body cavity.
Derek had never seen something like this.
Usually this kind of tumour nested in the spine and stayed there, well protected and hidden.
It took already a big mastery discovering it without killing the patient or maiming him for the rest of his life.
And the body of the octopus had gotten huge all over the months everybody had given Harris as a goner.
Derek sighed, wiping his face snorting: he so wished Michelle had found him sooner.
The main mass occupied three quarters of the spine, a fluid deadly cylinder.
From LPs to DLs, hence the total paralyses and the risk Harris could stop swallowing, breathing.
Derek was not even sure how he could still control his bladder and sphincters and that had given him some hint.
Apparently the tumour was bad but not totally extensive as others had assumed.
He just needed a way to slide out the tumour without damaging the bone marrow.
It was the weak part of this plan. Every idea was not making him comfortable, there was always something very big which could go wrong. Sub optimum. He needed to find the optimum.
He stood, taking a scan down the screen, going through it for the tenth time in the last three hours.
He lifted it, changing the perspective, stroking his chin absent-mindedly.
"I'm very relieved to know that your stroke of genius is already in your head and you don't need to find it there"
Derek jumped on his feet, turning to the intruder. His eyes rolled and he breathed out loudly, the scan landing on the desk.
"You scared me to death" he snorted, taking deep calming breaths, shaking his head.
"I'm sorry" Peter smiled, entering the room, probably regretting not to have made his presence known differently. "I've been an idiot, Derek" he apologized.
"It's fine" he said, trying to control his breathing path. "What are you doing here?" he finally asked, face to face with his former boss.
"Did you really think you'd face the big jury without any help?" he chuckled, opening his arms to hug him, leaving Derek the time and space to avoid him. But Shepherd had found his composure back and accepted the contact, delivering a man hug, smiling in surprise. "You did" Peter finished, locking eyes with him. Different feelings were mixing in Derek's eyes and Peter knew him well enough to know a question was going to pop up soon. He decided to take him out of his misery. "I spoke with your wife earlier" he admitted.
"Meredith?" Derek chocked out, his brows arching in surprise.
"How many wives do you have?" Peter chuckled, rounding the desk and sitting down. "We were both worried for you and I offered to help"
"Peter…" Derek started, shaking his head.
"This is serious, Derek" he said frankly, looking at him "Roberts does not move around for boy scouts and to fatten his expense account"
"I know" Derek said defeated, sinking in the chair across Peter. "Do you think they have a leg to stand on?"
A think silence filled the room and Derek swallowed when Peter did not answer right away.
"I should ask you this question" he said finally, searching Derek's face.
Shepherd held his stare and Fletcher felt a wave of respect.
Proud filled him when he didn't even squirm or flinch.
Peter knew he could count on one hand doctors who had the nerve to reciprocate his examination.
Derek had always been one of those.
His quiet composure, his unyielding gaze were enough answer.
"Good" he finally breathed out, smiling.
"Good?" Derek snorted, surprised, his brows arching. "Are you a mind reader?" he joked.
"No, but I can tell you nine doctors out of ten would crap their pants in front of my very chiefly and strict look" he mused, having Derek roll his eyes.
"I never did" he said, standing and pacing in the room.
"I know…" Peter laughed.
"Mark did not even" he added, crossing his arms across his chest.
"Sloan can be a lot of things, but he's a good surgeon and an honest person"
"Honesty is not a quality many see in him" Derek breathed out, pinching his nose.
"Not when it comes to women, of course" Peter chuckled, eliciting a laugh from Derek too.
Peter stood and patted his shoulder, gaining his attention back.
"I don't know if you know that I've been an auditor for years" he smirked, tilting his head to the side, sinking both hands in his pockets.
"Excuse me?" Derek almost choked.
"Disciplinary auditor" he said quietly. "Greg and I have been colleagues for years" his tone was slightly amused and Peter squeezed his shoulder.
"Why have I never known this?" Shepherd asked stunned, surprise evident from his tone.
"Well…" Peter chuckled, scratching his head pensively "it's not like you stuck around the years I was. And you've never been the kind of doctor to get into trouble and being inspected by the supreme agencies" he finished, sitting on the desk, frowning reading Derek's expression. "I kind of feel you are more surprised on whom I was rather than excited on how this could help you"
"I…" Derek opened his mouth and closed it, not so sure what to say, shaking his head "It's just that you're easy going and accommodating. I can't really see you as chastiser" Peter burst out laughing, squeezing his shoulder, shaking his head. "What?" Derek breathed out, surprised.
"I love you, Derek" he joked, trying to win hilarity "a part of you is still the naïve kid you used to be twenty years ago. I'd have loved to have kept that in me" he said, his face hardening "do you really believe you can be Chief of Surgery for twenty years in Mount Sinai without being a hard ass?" he fired, deadly serious.
"I have never meant you're not bad ass, Peter" he explained, fearing to have offended him.
"No, but you think of me as your grandpa, someone to look up to, honourable, always respected, loved, always in the right side of things" he ended, a cold edge in his eyes.
Derek swallowed, trying to follow his speech.
"I ruined lives, Derek" Peter admitted, a scowl on his face Derek had never seen. "I fired doctors, I signed papers ending careers; many people celebrated when I resigned to die a year ago" he ended, catching his breath when Derek shook his head in disbelief. "I respect you. I've always seen you as one of my equals. Gosh, I have always seen you as someone who would kick my ass one day. Did you really think I behaved like this to everybody?" he asked, his eyes boring into Derek's.
"No, I did not" Derek admitted quietly "but I assumed it was also out of affection"
"Of course it is, Derek" he nodded, closing his arms across his chest "it was first of all out of affection. But my affection has never clouded my judgement on you as a doctor. And my judgement on you as a doctor has never changed my affection to you" he elaborated, biting his lip "I've shut down careers, Derek" he repeated and Derek could see remorse on his features "and sometimes those people had listed me as friend"
"Were you?" he asked softly, challenging him.
"Yes… but friendships usually don't survive this kind of thing" he chuckled, burying his hands in his pockets again "And I realized many people wanted to be my friends as they had perceived the power I could have and had on them professionally" he ended, sounding deflated. "It took me a lot of time to understand this little fact, Derek" he breathed out, locking eyes with him. "From that moment I started to see things very clearly" he took a deep breath, drawing imaginary circles on the desk "Richard is not like me" he tried, sending a quick look to Derek.
"What do you mean?" he asked, feeling a bit dizzy.
"You have worked for him for years, don't you get it by yourself?" he retorted flatly, not a hint of rage or irony in his voice. He waited for Derek to speak and then started again when it became clear Shepherd was not going to utter a word "Webber is a big bully but he has never proved pleasure in sacking people. He was a manager, I was a head hunter. I have always hated mediocrity, I have always hated mistakes. The power to judge other people was an amazing high. I enjoyed it like crazy. I was a son of a bitch, Derek" he admitted in a small voice.
"Have you ever abused your power?" Derek asked after a long silence.
"No" Peter said with no hesitation, his eyes meeting Derek's immediately. Shepherd nodded, understanding what Peter had meant at the beginning of their conversation. "I was fair, I have never used this power to set accounts, punish, get back at someone. But I was pitiless… Greg and I both were. People let us do that for years as they knew we were correct. We scratched names from the register as we had an aura of cruel honourability. Roberts still has" he said simply, giving Derek a small smile.
"So?" Derek asked straightening up.
"Nothing… I'm the best person to help, Derek" he said simply, taking a look around.
"How?" Shepherd asked, feeling he was still missing important pieces.
"You will give me that report and your surgical plan and I'll go through it overnight" he explained, their eyes locked. "I will tell you how much you need to worry and how you need to build your defence"
"Okay" Derek nodded.
"And Derek…" Peter said taking a step towards him, concern and the human touch Derek had learnt to know in two decades cascading on him like a second skin "just do me two favours" he smirked, seeing Derek swallowing.
"Don't look at me like I killed your cat" he started, smiling when Derek's lips twitched upwards "we both know you perfectly knew I was no saint" he prodded, pointing his finger at his former student, quirking a brow quizzically.
"I didn't know anything about your auditor career" Derek said sincerely.
"You didn't… but you used to call me Wood Dick back in New York" he smirked at Derek's horrified face "unless it was Amy to suggest it to you" Derek rolled his eyes in front of such unknown arrogance and smugness.
"And second?" he asked impatiently, willing to end the conversation.
"I know you have found great use for your balls" Derek's eyes narrowed, he had never heard Peter speak in such a way in decades he had known him "but bring them tomorrow. More Shepherds can wait" he shook his shoulders jokingly and patted his back. Derek stood, raking a hand in his hair.
"Anything else?" he asked, switching off the light and ushering Peter out.
"A bit of bored arrogance could give a touch to your deposition" he smiled, marching down the corridor with Derek.
"I'll keep that in mind" he mumbled, adjusting the coat on his shoulders.
"Good" Peter clapped his hands enthusiastically, glaring at Derek "I take for granted you won't bitch to your wife about me being here"
"Why should I?" Derek joked rolling his eyes "Wood Dick is all I need to be redeemed or screwed definitively".
The neurosurgeon's smile grew wider when Fletcher burst out laughing.
"This is my boy" he mused, circling his shoulders.
"But I'd rather not to have further surprises" Derek warned him, stopping outside his office. He caught guilt spreading on Peter's face and his face fell. "Peter…" he tried, raking a hand in his hair.
"Don't worry, Derek. I did what needed to be done" he said deadly serious, waving to the door and inviting Derek to open it. He followed him in the room. Derek moved some folder around, flipping through pages and reports until he fished a dossier from under the pile of documents.
"Fat" Peter commented, sticking his glasses and reading the first lines. He sighed and closed the file, smiling to Derek. "I really wanted to meet your son tonight" he smiled, his eyes moistening seeing pure joy on Derek's face.
"He's a miracle" Derek said proudly, his chest bloating with pride.
"Can't wait to hold him... but that's for tomorrow" Peter said taking his glasses off. "It's better I get back to my hotel now"
"Okay" Derek said simply, his eyes on the floor.
"I'll call if I need explanations" Peter said marching to the door. He opened it and noises broke in to the room.
"Peter…" Derek called him back, their eyes meeting "thanks"
Fletcher smiled, winking.
"Balls, Derek"
He closed the door behind his back leaving the neurosurgeon by himself.
"Wood Dick" he hissed, discarding his coat and pulling the jacket off the rack.
It was almost eight when he got home.
He parked his Porsche under the big beech across the yard, taking a deep breath when he spotted Hunt's car. Cristina had probably offered to drive Meredith and Michael home and the chief had tagged along.
Derek grabbed his coat and made his way towards the house.
He took the keys out of his pocket, trying a glance through the big French doors of the living room.
He could hear people laughing inside and relaxed, opening the door.
"Hey" he greeted everybody, giving Meredith a wide smile.
She was standing in the middle of the room, barefoot, a hoodie that had known better days had replaced the elegant sweater she had worn to the trip to the hospital. Her jeans were faded and she was holding a glass full of orange juice. Derek felt his chest tighten in front of such simple yet outstanding beauty.
His wife was looking down to Cristina and Owen, both sitting on the couch, apparently improving their parental skills cuddling a fussy Michael.
"Hi" Meredith reciprocated the smile, try to read on his face his humour.
"Derek…" Owen greeted him, frowning when the baby hit his forehead with his tiny fist.
Meredith giggled and breathed out when Derek stopped in front of her. Her hand landed on his chest, her fingers trailing down the cotton of his shirt. He gave her a small smile and leaned in for a kiss, ignoring their audience. The contact deepened and Derek's hands slid behind her neck, pressing her closer. The kiss left Meredith light headed and she moaned when he pulled back. Her husband smiled again, his thumb stroking her cheek tenderly.
"Peter is here" he said quietly, letting her know he was not pissed for their conspiracy.
"Was he at the hospital already?" she asked, arching her brows.
"Yep" Derek confirmed, sliding off his jacket and rolling the sleeves of his shirt "Landed in the late afternoon and showed up to give me a first lecture" he chuckled, meeting Owen's eyes. He wondered if even Hunt knew about this plan, Peter's past. Derek bit his bottom lip and decided to put the issue aside for the moment.
"How is my boy?" he asked, smiling noticing that Michael was resting quietly in Owen's arms, playing with his shirt.
"He's really a good guy" Hunt chuckled, standing up to give the baby back to his dad.
"No, it's fine" Derek said, though a longing look set on his offspring. "He is enjoying some male contact after being arranged as a candy today" he chuckled, rolling his eyes at Meredith.
"It's not my fault your mum kept all your clothes and is sending them over hoping to have matching pics" Meredith shrugged, eliciting Cristina's hilarity.
"I need to see those" she joked, bending her legs on the couch, giving a wicked look to Derek.
"Whatever" Derek rolled his eyes, stroking Michael's cheek, still in Owen's arms "Let's go outside to have a man moment" he suggested, ushering Hunt outside.
"Sure" Owen smiled, adjusting Michael on his chest.
"Beer?" Derek proposed raising a brow.
"That would be great" Hunt said making his way out to the porch. Derek leaned to kiss his wife's cheek on his way to the fridge. He took two beers out and uncorked them, grabbing the bottles and smiling to Meredith on his way out. The door closed behind his back and Meredith shrugged to Cristina.
"Men…" she rolled her eyes, sitting near Cristina.
"All broody and hardcore" her person mused, taking a deep breath.
"Owen looks like he's going to pee in his pants" Meredith giggled, peering at his usually straight-up colleague and friend. Even Cristina had to acknowledge that Michael had totally melted Owen's heart.
"I'll never understand like cavemen can turn into pussies so fast" Cristina rolled her eyes trying to keep a straight tone, but Meredith could see through her bluff.
"You're thinking about it" Meredith chirped, seeping at her juice, her eyes locking with her friend's over the rim of the glass.
Cristina rolled her eyes again and stood, pouring herself a cup of coffee.
A pregnant silence fell in the room and when Cristina looked up Meredith was still waiting for her reaction.
"So?" she prodded.
"So what? Do you want a drink?" she asked, trying to sound cool. Meredith snorted and stole a glance outside, trying to figure out if Owen and Derek were talking.
"They are not killing each other, yet" Cristina mumbled, "don't snoop" she smirked, sitting on the couch.
"I'm not snooping" Meredith said indignantly, her eyes darting to the window again.
"You so are…" Yang patted her knee knowingly "so did you really call the New York chief?" she asked, crossing her arms across her chest.
"It did sound like a good idea this morning" Meredith said drinking, her eyes lost somewhere on the floor.
"And it is…" Cristina said excitedly "Shepherd needs people in his corner and he has some pretty big load now"
"True" Meredith muttered, locking eyes with Cristina "I wondered what the big fight was about"
"They don't sound like cavemen who just ate their faces off" Cristina said twisting her fingers in her long and curly hair.
"Men are very simple minded and don't hold grudges. Even if they got into a fight at work, you're here now and Derek would never kick you out" Meredith explained, trying another look outside.
"Anyway… I don't know what that was about but Derek looks very different from the obnoxious neuro god he could be" Cristina said, very interested in her nails. She looked up hearing Meredith sharp intake of air. "I mean it well, Mer" she added softly, squeezing her knee.
"I know…" she smiled "I think a lot of things caught up with him. Jen, the trial, Gary Clark, my sabotage…" she closed her eyes breathing out "he's different and I'm scared"
"About what?" Cristina fired, straightening on the couch.
"It's my fault if he's in this predicament" she snorted, lowering her eyes when Cristina shook her head "If I hadn't backed him into a corner with the trial thing, he'd be chief, a shiny star, Harper Avery winner and all. Nobody would dare to attack him, doubt the doctor he is. I put disgrace on him in the first place. The rest was just something he needed to adjust with time. I made all his issues blow up at the same time. If that miserable insurance agent found these loopholes, it's because of me. He already lost so many things but now…" she stopped, choking up, lowering her eyes. She tried to catch her breath and calm herself, it was the first time she let out her fears and regrets.
"You should tell him how you feel, Mer" Cristina said softly.
"He does not need my whining" she snorted "besides, Derek would never go along this line"
"He wouldn't as it's not true" her person said calmly, a gentle tone in her voice that took Meredith by surprise "You cleared with Derek, Mer. Nothing of this is your fault and you need to let it go"
A laughter filled the air, the sound defused by the noise proof window. Both women looked out.
"Let it go" Cristina repeated "be a man. Simple minded" she chuckled standing, taking the empty glasses to the sink.
"It's awfully soon for this" Owen chuckled, his hand retrieving the bottle Michael was trying to touch. He was probably attracted by the bright colours of the label and the patio lamp reflecting on the glass.
Derek smiled too, swallowing the beer, the glass still against his lips. He took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of the night breeze on his face. The sun had set and the sky was a purplish shade of blue.
Everything was silent besides Michael's sounds.
"You really have a great place" Hunt commented, finally drinking from his bottle. "We also got the deck right" he chuckled, remembering the only men club who had helped the process.
"I had my contractor fix it" Derek smirked "we wouldn't be sitting here otherwise. We would roll over" he laughed, closing his arms across his chest. "The guy was quietly smug about the whole your-million-hands-can't-nail-down-straight line" Owen laughed, admiring the bay from miles away. "But I told him his laser inspired me to save a kid. I think he was kind of shocked by the idea" he finished, enjoying the bitter taste of hop on his tongue.
"We all were" Hunt mumbled "a new dimension of being inventive"
Owen set the bottle down, standing and rocking the baby.
"It's almost time for him to eat" Derek said, noticing how Michael had become alert .
"Life is quite the routine at this age" he chuckled, meeting Derek's eyes, reading an unspoken question on his face "I didn't know about Fletcher" he fired, diverting his gaze.
"Mmmm" Derek absorbed the information with a frown, lowering his eyes on the table. "Did you know him?"
"Who?" Owen asked him surprised, arching his brows.
"Peter… before he came here for surgery, had you ever heard about him?" Derek asked, taking another sip of his beer.
"No… I read his name on my rehab status after Iraq though…" Hunt admitted, breathing out "he pushed down many requests if I recall" Derek's eyes narrowed imperceptibly. "I take you didn't know about his role at the register?"
"Nope" Derek muttered, stroking his eyes tiredly "and I didn't even know you needed to be re enrolled after missions" he admitted. "Many things were totally out of my radar"
"Yeah, out of mine too" Owen smiled "I got to learn the hard way there were rules to respect and I wasn't the only one. Surgeons serving in war zone… the concept shifted radically after Iraq and Afghanistan"
"How?" Derek inquired, fighting the lump in his throat. He knew Owen didn't speak about war, it was something he never mentioned and a topic he never wanted to approach.
"We came back changed" Owen shrugged simply "many did not come back at all and at some point they needed to take hard decisions, examining our service record, checking our attitudes. Many of my co fellows were benched as they didn't pass the interviews"
"I just had never pictured him as supreme inquisitor" he smiled, diverting his eyes.
"The man you knew was quite different I guess" Owen offered, patting Michael's back.
"It's what Peter said" Derek said standing and approaching his colleague, his arms stretching to get his son back. Hunt obliged, smiling. "He also said not to be a pussy" he mumbled, raising Hunt's amusement.
"Here comes his army vocabulary" he chuckled, raking a hand in his hair. "I think it's good he's here, Derek" he started, hoping not to enrage Derek. "As you know Lauren had suggested something like this. I take you hadn't done anything about it"
"No" he sighed defeated, kissing his son's cheek. "I have to tell you all something, Owen" he started, his eyes cold and firm "I haven't lost my temper and my arrogance yet. And they both think I will be enough to solve this thing by myself" he finished, seeing Owen nodding.
"Sometimes we don't need to do all by ourselves… it was one of Fletcher's favourite way to end interviews"
Owen and Derek's eyes locked for a moment and then Hunt walked back inside, patting the neurosurgeon's shoulder passing by.
Shepherd was taken back to reality by the feeling of wet drool on his cheek.
Michael was aiming to prominent things, probably in search of his wife's nipples.
"Let's go find the milk shop, you lucky baby" he purred, stroking Michael's chest lightly.
Meredith was already sitting on the couch , preparing herself and Owen and Cristina were busying themselves washing dishes and glasses. Derek felt strangely relieved.
"You have a client, here" he joked, leaning forward to pass Michael to Meredith.
"24 hours open milk vending machine?" she giggled, her eyes sparkling. Derek watched mesmerized as his son stilled, his little nose into his mother's breast. "Give males a boob and they will shut up" she joked, winking, amused to see Derek roll his eyes.
"You're triggering my sense of humour here" he breathed out, sitting on the couch, circling her shoulders.
"Oh really? Meredith asked faking innocence.
"My dirty sense of humour actually" he chuckled "An answer begged to roll out of my mouth but I shut up. And I don't even have a boob in my mouth" he sighed theatrically, raising more hilarity.
"I love you" Meredith said brightly, locking eyes with him.
"I love you too"
Derek closed the space between their lips and kissed her softly, his hands cupping her cheeks.
Meredith chocked back a moan feeling her husband ravishing her mouth and her son sucking gently her nipple. When they parted, Derek was giving her a wicked looked.
"Shut up" she hissed, rolling her eyes.
Thoughts?