"You mean to tell me," Thorin almost bellows, "that you have both known of this for more than two years and have only now seen fit to inform me of it!" It is very obviously not a question. Nori has seen Thorin angry before, in her previous life, she has seen him murderous in his rage and compared to the creature she saw upon the walls of Erebor maddened with the call of gold, this should not be a terrifying thing. And it is not, but a part of her trembles all the same. Not for herself, Thorin's opinion of her is not all that important to her. She is concerned for Dwalin who still places value in the good opinion of his cousin and king.
"I had conjecture," Nori replies, showing him the original letter that Kíli had stolen. "But this is not proof. The author of this letter merely believed it was Azog, he had no proof. We had no proof and I was not about to abandon the lad so that I could go and poke into it."
"You would not have taken him?" Thorin raises an eyebrow. "You do not believe he could have handled himself?"
"I've heard stories," Nori shakes her head. "And as good as that boy is… I wasn't going to risk it."
"Nor would I have let her," Dwalin observes. "Or Kíli. She was a babe when Azanulbizar happened, I wasn't, and I remember how that orc fought. I wouldn't have either of those lads within ten miles of him. I trained them to be better than we were, but you know that I don't believe in tempting fate." He lifts his chin. "She made the right call. I backed her on it then, I'll back her on it now." Nori does not react to the omission of Fíli and Kíli's input on the matter, it would seem that they have both decided to keep the boys' involvement out of the discussion.
"That filth should have been wiped from the face of this world," Thorin snarls.
"I don't disagree," Dwalin's reply is level in the face of Thorin's anger, measured in a way that Nori knows she could never manage. "But knowing you as well as I do, I couldn't be certain you wouldn't do some stone headed, idiotic thing like try and raise an army to go after him."
"And by the time he becomes a true threat again it will be too late to raise a proper army to deal with him," Thorin points out.
"Without Erebor the point is moot," Nori says without thinking. "Azanulbiar was costly, too costly from everything I've been taught. I doubt anyone would come if you called."
"A coward's reply," Thorin hisses.
"I know a losing fight when I see one," Nori snaps. "And don't make the mistake of thinking that I don't have my own score to settle with that piece of shit. I was lucky to survive when I encountered him, even if I had no idea who it was, and I only did so because he found a more interesting target than finishing the slaughter he had started. That orc took everything from me," which is not all that far from the truth. If not for losing Thorin, Fíli and probably Kíli at the Defiler's claw the Dwalin of her future would never have withdrawn from her. "All I have left is my life and that boy." Amethyst eyes slide to Dwalin who casts a hurt look in her direction before resuming his emotionless expression. "Vengeance might be worth my life, but it isn't worth his and I had to be sure it was Azog before I told because this is not something I could afford to be wrong about."
Thorin pauses.
"I told you as soon as I knew for certain," Nori takes a deep breath. "And I've very likely lost one of my closest friends to discover it."
"And you have my condolences for that," Thorin mutters. "But we cannot ignore this threat and he must be dealt with."
"But not now," Dwalin shakes his head. "I'd wager a substantial amount of gold that he's deliberately taunting you and trying to draw you out. It's a long road from the Misty Mountains to here, and any army he might raise would have to get past elves and Men before they could get to us. He wants you on his turf," he looks at Nori. "I don't think he let you escape, or your friend live long enough to send you that note, just because he found something more interesting to do. I think he wants Thorin to know he's alive, so he's leaving just enough of a trail for word to get back here."
Except, Nori thinks, in her last life it had not, and likely would not have this time had Kíli not intercepted that note. Nori would certainly have never looked into it and now her own lie is building something in the minds of her lover and employer that is not likely to be at all accurate.
"That kind of assumption is dangerous in my line of work," Nori points out.
"Perhaps," Thorin concedes, "but it does make sense. Orcs do not take weakness and defeat lightly. That they bothered to treat his injury at all speaks to the power he had over his underlings at the time, that he continues to live, let alone hold power, is of concern." He nods to Dwalin. "There is likely a great deal in what you say. In order for him to keep power he will eventually need to challenge me."
"And he will seem all the more powerful if he forces you to come to him," Dwalin finishes.
Nori knows that in a few years Azog will be hunting for Thorin, aware that the dwarf king is on the move though she has no idea how the orc discovered it. He will have his own agents out in the world though, she knows that much, but there is a danger in letting her lie influence their thinking and the worst of it is that she cannot take it back without risking exposing herself. Instead she pulls out one of her knives, using it to clean under her fingernails rather than nibble at it like she would when worried. She knows that it gives her an air of confidence even when she does not really feel it.
"I don't like making these assumptions," she says. "It needs more looking into."
"I agree," Thorin nods. "But not by you." She opens her mouth to object. "If it is a question of funds I will provide you with what you need, but for now your focus needs to be Kíli and his training. Even after he passes his final test. You are the one who knows what you are doing, you need to be the one to teach him how to be an effective Wolf. You cannot do that if you meet the same fate as your friend. And as you pointed out when you took the position, you cannot be everywhere at once. It is not your job to race over the world finding answers, and nor is it what I pay you to do, it is your job to get others to do it and put it all together, and to teach the boy how to do it as well. I understand that you will need to leave on occasions to dig deeper into things, this is not one of those things and I would hate to think that you cannot fulfil your contract."
Nori lets out a short, bitter, laugh. Of all the times for Thorin to keep control of his temper. Then again, perhaps had he been forewarned in her last life Thorin would have made better choices on the cliffedge while the world around them burned. Perhaps she will live to find out this time.
"I can pay the caravans for information," Nori admits. "I know a few people I can ask to fish around for me," they are not, strictly speaking, trained thieves or spies, but it is not like she will be asking any of them to betray their honour or morals and extra gold is always appreciated.
"Is there anything else?" Thorin asks and both shake their heads. "I understand why you did not tell me about this," he continues after a pause, "but where Azog is concerned I would rather be kept entirely in the loop. "Had you been wrong it would simply have been a relief, perhaps mixed with concern that there is a strong new leader among the orcs. Had I discovered this after leaving the mountains for any reason I do not know how I would have reacted."
"Poorly, if I know you," Dwalin comments. Thorin raises an eyebrow at him. "You keep my brother around for his pretty words," the guard shrugs, "you keep me around because you know I'm not afraid to clout you to beat some sense into you when you need it."
"My sister would ask why you do not do so more often," he snorts, "but that is beside the point. I understand the decision made, but would encourage you not to keep something like this from me again." He waves his hand and Nori and Dwalin take it for the dismissal that it is, leaving quickly and quietly.
It is late, far later than Nori would like all things considered, but night is the best time for her to bring news to Thorin without being seen. It comes as a surprise when Dwalin grabs her arm and drags her into the nearest room down the hall rather than seeing her to the door.
"Just your life and the lad?" He asks and she frowns. "Is that really all you have?" He clarifies.
"It was then," she answers honestly.
"And now?" He prompts and there is a moment, just one, where she sees the emotion she has dreaded cross his face. She does not know if she can continue to keep him at arm's length if he feels like that for her again.
"I don't know," Nori whispers. "This is fun, Guard, we're fun. Can't we stay that way?"
"Is that really what you want, Nori?" He presses. "It's been two years, is that really what you want?"
"I don't…" she cuts herself off. Her heart is screaming that she wants, needs and deserves more. Her head shouts that he'll hurt her again, he'll choose Thorin over her again. Dwalin is looking down at her, his expression unreadable to someone who does not know him as well as she does, no matter which version of it she is reading.
"Then maybe we should call it a day," his voice is soft. "Before more feelings than have already grown develop."
"You can't do this to me now," she whispers. "Not again. You can't ask me that question now and expect me to just…"
"I don't expect anything from you," he cuts her off. "I just wanted to know where I stand. I want to know if this is more, or if I'm just a convenient fuck. Because if that's all I am… if that's all I am maybe it's time I get out before my heart gets more attached." It is happening again, she thinks miserably, he is doing this to her again.
"You promised you wouldn't ask me for anything I can't give," she reminds him.
"Which is why I'm asking," Dwalin points out. "I know how shit the timing is, but if this isn't for you what it is for me then I need to know for my own sake."
"And if it is?" She hedges.
"Then we'll keep going at whatever pace you need," he assures her. "But I'm too old to be playing games, lass. And I'm old enough to know that getting attached where it isn't wanted is a bad idea. I've been burned enough." He takes a step back when she hesitates. "Alright," he sighs.
"Dwalin, wait," she gasps, reaching for him as she finally recognises what he is offering, what he is saying. She should be reaching for a knife, she thinks, she would have reached for a blade if it had been anyone else. She hates that he is under her skin like this. "You had no right to ask me this now," she tells him. "None. Not with everything that this… not with everything that this brought back to me. Not with what was taken," he bows his head in acknowledgement. "I don't know if this is more," she admits, "because something more once made me vulnerable and I don't know if I can face that again. But I want to. Or I want to try."
"Try?" He asks.
"Try," she repeats. "He hurt me, Dwalin, he chose his cousin over me and if not for the orc he would have turned his back on me and walked away. I need to know that you will never do that, but I don't." Because he will, he did, in the future. Thorin will fall and Dwalin will shoulder the blame even though he was not that much older than Kíli is now when Thráin vanished on his watch. She has made a point, over the years, of practicing the story she told Kíli when she is alone, reciting it enough that it rolls from her lips without any real thought or effort. It is enough to pull this Dwalin up short.
"He's my king, Nori," the guard points out. "I can't just turn my back on that."
"I know," she breathes. "But where does that leave me? Because if this is going to be more, I need to know that I'm not going to come second to someone's cousin or sibling or whatever again. So you tell me, Dwalin son of Fundin, will I ever be more important? Or will I forever play second fiddle?"
"Lass," Dwalin's voice is rough, "Nori, you've had my loyalty since the day you climbed through Dís' window and informed her you were training her boy whether she liked it or not. I take your side and that is always a surprise to them because you are not them. I can't promise that you will always come first because I don't know what Thorin will order me to do, but I can promise to do my best. If you let me in."
A.N: Bad Dwalin! No! No pressuring Nori. *grumbles* I nearly deleted that whole section, but Nori refused to let me go forward if I did. Because, you know, Nori. The question, of course, is if she's going to let feelings be a thing again.