AUTHORS NOTE: I just want to say thank you for all your kind words and comments and for your patience waiting for me to get my act together again. I assure you I will finish this story - eventually, as I don't leave any story I have written unfinished, but this is just the first time you have had to wait for updates as the story is normally complete when I start to post it.

CHAPTER 59

Eva walks towards me and wraps her arms around me as I watch Christian bury his nose into Ana's hair and inhale deeply.

"Let's sit down" I say carefully.

We all sit down again and Christian looks at Ana almost nervously. "How much of that did you hear?" he asks apprehensively.

Ana shrugs, "All of it, and you should've said something to me about how you were feeling. You should know by now that I wouldn't have been offended or held it against you. I would have tried to help though" she says and I don't miss the hurt tone of her voice and I'm fairly certain Christian hasn't either, by the way he is clinging tightly to her and repeatedly apologising.

"I'm sorry baby and I know, but I just didn't want to look like I was being childish, and to be fair the feelings I have are more directed towards my relationship with Elliot rather than you" he says with a shrug.

Ana smiles, "What am I going to do with you?" she says softly as she touches his cheek with her hand and as she does so Christian closes his eyes and leans into her touch. Then she leans closer and grips his hand tightly and takes a deep breath, which makes Christian open his eyes and look at her questioningly.

"Although what you said about Grace and Carrick has made me see things differently" she begins.

She glances at Eva who nods, "Me too" she says entering into the conversation.

I see Christian's eyebrows rise in surprise at what Ana has said, "How so?" he asks carefully.

I watch as Ana nervously and awkwardly explains how after going to see Grace and Carrick and how things had turned out so well with Carrick, she had felt unable to shake the negative opinion she still held about what she saw as Grace's failings and the blame she levelled towards her for what she saw as her lack of assistance towards Christian regarding his phobia as he was growing up. How it was completely black and white to her how Grace could and should have done more for him. Christian listens to her and doesn't interrupt until she pauses and bites her lip.

"Well…" he begins. But stops as Ana holds up her hand.

"Wait, I'm not done, I just want to finish by saying now I have heard how you feel about that time. How you feel that you don't blame Grace it has helped lay it to rest for me. Whilst I can't help the way I view things I also can't continue to be outraged on your behalf, when you have obviously worked through that time and come to terms with it" she says.

Christian nods, "Well…" he repeats, "first of all thank you for telling me how you both felt, I suppose seeing things from your point of view it does look like mom dropped the ball somewhat, but I really don't see it like that. You have to remember you didn't know me then, you didn't know just how difficult I was to live with. Mom has admitted that they were totally out of their depth with me and they are only human and they made mistakes. I didn't speak for two years and while I can see why you would think that they should've capitalised on Mia's arrival to help me overcome my phobia, I can see why they didn't. They had just got me talking and didn't want to rock the boat and possibly cause me to regress by pushing too hard. Then as time went on it became harder for them and their love for me clouded their judgment". Christian stops and looks at Ana carefully who is nodding in agreement.

"I have discussed this at length with my new therapist, so as far as I am concerned it's all in the past… and to be fair I never even considered the idea that mom had ever failed me until she brought it up and apologised when she told me about her guilt, so for me it was pretty easy to dismiss as I never held her actions against her".

Ana nods and sighs reluctantly, "Ok, well I will never change my view that in my opinion Grace and Carrick should've done more for you but as I say as you are not affected by it in any way at all I can't hold a grudge on your behalf, so I will put it aside and learn to live with it".

Christian smiles at her and presses a kiss to her forehead, "Thank you baby" he mutters quietly. Then his smile fades slightly and he pulls away looking at Ana anxiously.

"However, I am concerned that you heard what I said about the other thing" he adds after a moments silence.

Ana immediately holds him tightly and presses a kiss to his cheek. "Don't be, you know I was thinking you were handling everything remarkably well and for a while now I have almost been waiting for the other shoe to drop. You do realise you should've talked it over with me though, don't you?" Ana says carefully and I hear Christian sigh and he slowly nods.

"My therapist has been encouraging me to talk it over with you and Elliot but I just couldn't bring myself to do so. I never want you to feel bad about being Elliot's sister just as I never ever want to come between your relationship with Eva. It's something I have to work out for myself and come to terms with. Logically I know nothing has changed for Elliot, he still considers me his brother and you are my wife and I know he has always thought of you as his little sister ever since we got together so in that respect nothing has changed. But…" he stops again and shakes his head.

"But what Christian, come on tell me" Ana urges gently.

Christian scrubs his hand over his face and then runs it through his hair. He is clearly agitated by the thought of voicing how he is feeling. "It's hard to describe, I feel… jealous, no not jealous… not resentful either… It's just as I said to Gideon, Elliot and I are brothers. We were both adopted by mom and dad and even though we don't share a blood link he is my brother - end of story, and I am his. However now things have changed… Elliot has this special sibling link with you and Eva and please don't take this the wrong way as I really couldn't be happier for all of you finding out about each other, but it also feels like his link with you two is… more than the one he shares with me and I can't quite move on from that fact… I am trying to and as I say I am working hard with my therapist on this. But this whole situation has been incredibly unsettling for me, do you understand what I am trying to say?" Christian looks at Ana and Eva carefully and I almost see him sag with relief when they both smile and nod.

"It's simple the way I see it" Eva says as she leans forward. "Your security has been threatened by this revelation. You have always understandably had issues with security and change… look how you reacted when you found out about your birth family, so it was inevitable that this was going to unsettle you. It's only natural that you should be feeling off about this but look at this positively, you haven't kicked off and over reacted like you did before. You are trying to work it out and deal with it rationally - so that is brilliant not to mention real meaningful progress. Ana and I can only reassure you that as far as we are concerned everything that has happened is all positive. To be fair, your main issue isn't with our relationship though, it's with Ana's relationship with El. Admittedly when you first say my wife is my brother's sister it sounds all kinds of fucked up, but that aside you just have to hold on to the fact Ana loves the bones of you and I'm fairly certain Elliot doesn't think any differently towards you now either, even though it seems to me that you are worried that because he has a blood link to Ana he will begin to value that relationship more than the one he has with you and you will be set aside... am I correct or am I way off the mark?" Eva pauses and looks at Christian questioningly.

He thinks about what she has said and he slowly nods his head. He looks almost embarrassed to admit she is right, but Eva just shrugs and Ana gives him a reassuring squeeze.

"I know that nothing has changed for him with regard to his relationship with you, as far as he is concerned, he is still your brother and always will be – end of story. But the only way to be sure and for your own peace of mind is to talk to him and be honest with him" Eva says in response to Christian's wordless admission.

Ana also nods again "I agree with Eva, Elliot won't mind, in fact I am fairly certain he would be happy that you have been honest enough with him to bring it up and are working it out with him rather than brooding on your own with it".

Christian thinks about that and then he nods decisively. "I'll do it, when we get home, I'll do it" he says with a confident tone. His whole body seems to visibly relax a little now that he has come to this realisation and decision.

Ana smiles and looks carefully at him, "So, we're good?" she asks and I know she is referring to her confession about her views towards Grace.

"Of course we are baby" Christian says as he pulls her even closer and holds her to him still almost clinging to her.

"So, now that is all sorted out… what are we all going to do now?" I ask as I look around at everyone.

Eva shrugs, "I don't mind, we could go out or we could stay here… oh by the way Ireland text me she wants to meet Christian and Ana. I mentioned that they were coming to visit and she said that she would like to meet you guys while you were here in New York".

Ana smiles widely and nods enthusiastically while Christian looks less happy about it but nods once and mutters 'that's fine'.

I pull my phone from my pocket and quickly send a text to Ireland inviting her over my thoughts being getting the meet and greet over with as soon as possible. Ireland and I have got quite close since Eva came into my life but I am always aware of her link to my mother so I think I unconsciously keep her at arm's length as I couldn't bear to get too close and then something happens and I have the relationship taken away from me.

"Cary wants to meet up as well at some point" Eva adds and I feel like a bucket of cold water has been thrown over me. Despite Ana's astuteness and acceptance of Cary previously, I still have a lot of issues with the man.

Again, I see Ana enthusiastically agree to that and I look at Christian who is simply watching her.

"How long are you here for?" I ask wryly and Christian grins.

"A couple of days, I assumed we were going to stage the ruse tomorrow and then I was going to hang around just to make sure the bait had been taken before heading home again".

"Sounds good to me" I reply.

"While I'm here in New York I am going to meet a potential author, who has expressed an interest in being published by Grey Publishing so that will keep me out of mischief while you are with Gideon tomorrow and while Eva is at work" Ana says entering into the conversation.

Christian's eyebrows rise in surprise at hearing that "You didn't mention this" he says carefully.

Ana shakes her head, "No, the idea didn't come to me till last night and I called her to say I would be in New York this week and that it would be an obvious opportunity for me to meet her. I'm not sure why but she hasn't submitted any manuscripts yet but she seems keen to want to meet me as she was making noises about flying out to Seattle for a meeting. I just hope that she is as good as she thinks she is and not some poor deluded soul who really doesn't have any talent at all".

"Has she given you any indication of what the story is she wants published?" Eva asks.

Ana nods, "Yes romance, which immediately puts me on my guard as this genre is notorious for people who think they are better than they actually are. The synopsis is quite intriguing though, from what she said it's a type of love triangle. Each person in it loves someone else, so it will probably be very good or very bad".

Eva giggles, "Sounds like the situation with you and Corrine" she says and l let out a small snort of amusement at that. My amusement fades when I see Ana's look of utter shock at what Eva has just said.

"What did you say?" Ana asks carefully.

Eva looks confused, "I said it was like the situation with Gideon and his ex - Corrine. She still hasn't got over the fact that he has moved on and married me despite the fact that she was the one who left him and called off their engagement and married someone else. She caused a bit of a thing when her marriage disintegrated and she came back to the States".

"Came back?" Ana asks and she is looking even more worried about this.

Eva nods, "Yes she married a Frenchman and went off to live in Europe, so when they separated, she came home to the States".

Ana glances at me and licks her lips nervously. "Erm… What is the surname of your ex?" she asks me carefully.

"Giroux" I say simply and Ana nods, thinking for a moment before she looks at me again.

"I assume that is her married name?" she asks and I nod. "So… what was her maiden name?" Ana asks.

"Hamilton" I say and I watch as the colour drains from Ana's face.

"Oh shit" she says simply.

"What?" I ask although from Ana's reaction I have a fairly good idea where this is going. I had heard rumours that Corrine was in the process of negotiating a book deal but I had been told it was a going to be a memoir of her life, including her relationship with me and with Jean Francois. From what Ana has said the author who she has been talking to is writing a work of fiction. If it is Corrine though, that could be problematic as she has always viewed our relationship through rose tinted glasses and given artistic licence to twist the truth into something sordid and potentially hurtful to Eva makes me immediately on my guard.

"The woman I have been talking to calls herself Caroline Hamilton. The story she has outlined is a love story the main female protagonist is in love and engaged to be married to a business tycoon but he cheats on her with another woman and in her jealousy, she cheats on him with one of his business associates – a European businessman who falls in love with her and she breaks off her engagement and to teach her fiancé a lesson she calls off the engagement and leaves him for the European businessman. However, in this story her fiancé comes to his senses and flies to Europe to beg her to return to him only to find that she has married the European businessman. He loves her, but she still loves her fiancé despite the fact that he cheated on her and so she quickly dumps her husband and returns to the States. The European businessman is set on revenge and comes to the States to reclaim his wife and the situation escalates and there is a showdown between the two men who are essentially fighting over her".

"Caroline is her mother's name" I say and Ana closes her eyes at that.

"She always said Jean Francois was dismissive of her" Eva says quietly.

I nod, I am hoping that this is a coincidence and this is not Corrine but the parallels are too striking and the fact this person is using Corrine's mothers name makes it too much of a coincidence to be anyone else. I have quickly realised that this is clearly how her mind would've liked the situation between us to have panned out, she had accused me of cheating when we began to drift apart but it wasn't the case, I was just looking for a way out. She is alone now. She gave up her marriage due to the fact she couldn't let go of the idea of being with me and so she is creating a scenario where she hadn't messed up her life and has two men focussing their attention on her.

"I will still see her" Ana says after a moments silence. "I will still go, and find out if it is Corrine. I was undecided as she hadn't sent any manuscript. She was so insistent though, that I decided that as I was in New York there was no harm in meeting with her. I do assure you though that if it is Corrine, I won't even entertain publishing her novel".

"Thank you Ana" I say gratefully.