Chapter 60.

After finding and calling off Omnico, Serana and I had to make our way back to the college.
I thought getting back in would be hard but as it turns out, the iron gate isn't even that heavy. Not for a vampire.

"Go!" Serana urged as I crawled under.

"Now you" I tried to help lift the gate a little higher from my end. On my own, this would be impossible, but I just needed to help her get it high enough to duck under without trouble.
"Déjà vu…" I muttered. That somehow felt familiar. "You want to tip off Niik about the ledger? It was your discovery, after all"

"There's not much to tell"

"Serana, we've narrowed down the massacre to the last two days. Depending on when that blizzard started, the killers might still be near enough to track down"

"Okay but…" Serana looked unsure. "You don't suppose that book we found is related do you?"

I had considered that. That this would happen the same time a strange book appears in the college is pretty strange.

"But that would mean they were Inside the college. If they were sending a message to Niik, why not kill the staff and students?"

"They are wizards" Serana exclaimed as she looked up at the college tower. "Dropping off a single book and leaving is one thing, but killing people who spend their lives throwing fire at each other… well…"

"Fair enough. We'll not rule out them being connected then. But don't tell Niik that they Are connected. Never know, he might let the book eat him to see what happens"

"Point taken"

Serana and I broke off to settle our own goals. While she updates Niik, I'll try and find where Barbas went off to.
I can't have Urag throwing him outside every time, so I might need to fashion a hidey-hole for him under my bed.

I searched the entire ground floor, no sign of him. I would whistle and call out to him, but I need to find him without the other mages knowing I have a dog on campus.
"Not really a campus, more just a single building and a courtyard…" I mutter to myself as I check every room I pass by. "Why am I checking rooms? He can't open doors…" I sigh.
I tried the next floor. A bit risky since it's Urag's library, but Barbas might be hiding under a table, petrified of being caught.

Urag was still tidying books away. I pretended like I was looking for something for Niik. Big mistake.
Once the Arch-mage is involved, Urag gave me his full attention.
"What are you looking for?" He asked.

"Oh, a… Book on Winterhold's history. Specifically, the collapse"

Urag looked puzzled but began scanning the bookshelves all the same.
"Why does he need this?"

"Not sure myself. I think he just wants to know, the best way to give the survivors a traditional burial…" My nose is growing by the minute. To be fair, I'm improvising on the spot while I look under tables for a missing dog.

"Who's burying the survivors?" Urag was looking at me like I was mental.

"I meant the dead, obviously" I sigh as I peek under Urag's desk.

"In any case, there are better books for that subject. I have volumes on Skyrim's traditions and…"

"I'm looking for the dog" I say bluntly. Screw it. It's getting way out of hand. "The dog is a Daedra, Niik needs him for personal reasons, I can talk to him, and he told me you put him out, so I've been trying to distract you while I search. But he's not here… So can I opt-out of this, please?"

I could feel the air be sucked in through his wide orc nostrils as he walked over to me.

"Robin…"

"Yea-? Ayee!" A book was whacked over my head. "That really hurt…" I cried, rubbing my thumping head. "What happened to being gentle with the books?"

Urag handed me the copy of Winterhold's History along with a second book with blank pages.
"I needed someone to refresh this one anyway. Thank you for volunteering"

"Huh?" He left me holding the two books. "You're making me do lines?" I turned the book on its side to judge the thickness. "There's like a thousand pages!"

"Quit ye'r yammering!" Urag boomed. "There's exactly six-hundred and nineteen pages"

"How could you possibly…" I was pushed onto a chair by his big green hand. "awo…know that…"
I was handed a quill and told to make a start while he left the library for a bit.

I sat there staring at the unopened book. He actually expects me to write out word for word the entire six hundred pages?
"Yeah, fuck that… Omnico I need you"

Omnico appeared. He opened his drawer for me.
In went the old copy. He buzzed as the pages were scanned.
In went the empty book. He buzzed as he printed.
"All done" Omnico dispensed the new book, with the font tailored to my specific handwriting.

"How many pages was that?"

"Six-hundred and nineteen pages"

"Son of a…" Before Urag got back, I grabbed a book at random and asked for a scan. "How many pages?"

"Three-hundred and four"
With that information, I dismissed Omnico and waited by the door for Urag, with the three books in hand.

When the orc had returned, he looked ready to tell me off for not doing my work.

"But I'm finished…" I handed him the new copy.
My heart was doing cartwheels with joy at the complete disbelief that I'd finished so fast.
"So I'm good, right? Punishment over?"

"Y-yes… Of course…" He was still flicking through the pages. He couldn't shake the doubt that this must be a trick, but he couldn't come up with any reasonable explanation.

So, I got a pat on the head.
"Eee~!" I squeaked with joy. "Before I go, one small question. How many pages does this book have?"

"Three-hundred and four" He said after checking the title.

"Oh wow…" I smirked handing him the book back. "Oh and, can I keep the old copy of this?" Since Serana was curious about the city, I thought she might like something to read.

Urag allowed me to keep it, so I went on to check the other floors for Barbas.

"Where the hell, is he?" I eventually got to the last floor. Niik's quarters. Apparently, he can see through walls now so I guess he could help me find the Daedra dog. I was about to knock on his door, but Serana came out first.
"Hey, what did he say?"

She silently shook her head at me.

Niik.

Coming home after cashing in the heads of warlocks, I remember entering the house still in the dark hours of the morning.
The dining room still carried the warm aroma of a dinner cooked with care by Betty.
The charcoals were long since cool, and the house was almost silent.

The sounds of Helgi tossing and turning led me all the way to her bedside.
Her hair was wet with sweat, but thankfully it wasn't another potion disaster. Betty's too careful these days to let that happen under her watch.
I gingerly woke little Helgi up. Once awake, I helped her get dressed in a fresh gown. Then she sat with me in her moonlit room as I listened to her nightmare.

She dreamt that her mother not only died from her vampire attack but was also sent to Coldharbour.
Even awake and in my arms, the thought petrified her.

"Your mother is in Sovngard, waiting to see you again" I promised, holding her close.

"What about my father?"

"Him too" I felt her arms tighten around me as I scooped her up in one arm and carried her into one of the darkest places in the house.

Never been too keen on coffins, and not wanting to give up the bed she had gotten used to, we installed curtains all around the bed frame to keep the light out.
As soon as Helgi's weight softly hit the mattress, Betty's head popped out from under the covers.

"Why is she in my bed?"

"She had another nightmare"

I could see Betty's face inflate slightly as she scooted over to make room.
It's strange in away, Betty and I could have a silent conversation in the dark without Helgi being any the wiser.

'She better not wet the bed' Betty mouthed.

'It'd be your fault' I wasn't the one to tell Helgi all about Coldharbour. I never told Betty neither. Just one of many books she brought home from her unsupervised night-time shopping sprees of slipping into stores and leaving money on the counter.

"Can we leave the curtain open a little?" Helgi whimpered, looking up at me.

'No'

"I'm sure Betty won't mind"

Betty looked ready to kill me but settled for making an unhappy face and lying back down with her head under the covers.

I'd give everything to return to that house...

"Niik, can I come in?" Asked a gentle voice, bringing me screaming back to the present.

I'd been staring at the mace of Molag Bal this whole time, lost in memories.
"Yes, Serana…" I cleared my throat and came to greet her at the door.
She came with a book in her hands but was mesmerised by my collection of artefacts. Her eyes went to the empty spots where Dawnbraker as well as where the ring of Hircine used to be.
"You'll have to excuse the missing items, your bride to be has two of them"

"My what?" There was a shocked look of terror in her eyes, which made me chuckle. Even that small moment of amusement felt like a relief to me.
"Anyway… Robin and I, we went into town to check on her horse"

"of course you did…" I wandered around to the back of my desk.

Once she approached, Serana slid the book in front of me.
"The stable boy was still alive when your students took horses out" She explained. "So that means the massacre happened very recently"

"okay" I tried to follow along as she spoke to me. But the words and letters before me made less and less sense the more I tried to read them. Even keeping up with what was being said soon started to mean little.

She kept talking about going out there and finding these people, but all I could think about was how those close to me keep dying.
Robin died in a way. Her academy arguably killed her when they took her memories, that was down to her simply meeting me.
Serana will face more dangers with me than if she stayed home.

The college prospered in some ways since I took the helm, but there had always been an unspoken fear among the locals. Even the Jarl wouldn't second guess my say on matters within the city.
Now all the citizens are dead, and it seems to be aimed at me.

Helgi listened to what I said. She died.
Betty rarely did as I asked, and she's dead too.
In theory, Betty and I should be just as hard to kill.
In theory.

I have so many other ways to heal myself and avoid getting hurt. Even as a mortal I was gifted with spells. No companions backed me up. I carried the rocks. I cleared the path. I won my battles. And I kicked down anyone who stepped in my way.
But it wasn't enough.
The thought of being killed in my sleep would keep me awake at night so I kept clear from towns. Avoided anyone whose intentions I wasn't sure of.
Hate was the only motive I could trust. But anyone who could able to hide that from me could take advantage of my need for rest.
But I knew I could fight and bargain my way to being near invincible.
With help of the Daedra lords, so long as violence follows me, I cannot be killed.
Anyone who bleeds near me becomes my second chance at life.
Success.
I got exactly what I prayed for, I am immortal.

"what?" I blinked as the book in front of me was flipped around so Serana could read it herself.
I forgot she was in the room with me. Forgot she wanted to talk to me about something. How long had she been talking? Is she talking, still?
Her lips moved as I tried to listen to her, but I couldn't hear what she was saying.
It was just noise. The room was just, noisy.
"stop!" I felt my hand twitch as I held my head.

"What?" She looked at me like she was expecting me to have an answer. Whatever she was saying, there was an almost out of character enthusiasm about her. "Niik, there's a chance we could find these people"

I grabbed the ledger from her hands and tossed it across the room.

"I don't want to talk about the town…" My open palm returned as a fist as I pulled it back to rest my jaw on. "I don't want to hear one more word from anyone… So go…!"

"But... but Niik, don't you want to-"

"Serana. Please understand, I'm not angry at you" I looked up to her as she stood over the desk. My eyes squinted as the light orbs in the ceiling blinded me far more than they used to. "But as someone who lost a father, try to understand that I lost my last child, and understand that I am advising you to leave, because I know it would upset me and Robin dearly if you were to be killed right now, so please just stop talking, take your book, and Leave!"

For a short moment I saw it, her face... the same look I'd seen on many others. My children, Robin, and those who saw me in the seconds before their blood filled my mouth.
I shut my eyes so I didn't have to see her.
I could only hear my own breath. The sound of my hands against my face.
When I looked up she was gone yet, everything in this room hurt to look at.

I couldn't even return to my memory of the house.
I could only see Betty and Helgi, but I'm not there anymore.
Of course I'm not there. They're dead, and I'm here.
I'm still alive… the monster lived and the good ones died.