Chapter 60: Purgatory
He had never really given much thought as to where professional assassins go when they die. He supposed he had assumed it would be the eternal flames of hell or some dark oblivion to match the darkness of his soul. Either way, he was willing to accept his fate, only he hadn't counted on this.
The sting of the flat, wooden yardstick upon his shoulder shattered his reverie and he looked up at its source and scowled. An elderly man with snow white hair and bushy eyebrows clad in an equally white robe pinned him with steely black eyes.
"What is it now, Jeeves?" Murdoc whined.
The man used the yardstick to point to the glass step below the one on which Murdoc stood. With a sigh, Murdoc stepped down, only to watch the stick point to yet a next step.
"Really?!" Murdoc complained. "I do one nice thing for Penny and it's one step up, yet I harmlessly invade MacGyver's little dream and it's two steps down. What kind of bloody hell is this?!"
"It's not hell, it's purgatory," Jeeves informed him flatly, as if he needed the reminder.
"It was a rhetorical question," Murdoc spat as he stomped on the step below him, causing it to crack in a web-like fashion. "Oh dear, you wouldn't happen to have any duct tape on hand, would you?" he asked innocently.
Jeeves rolled his eyes and turned away. This soul had been nothing but a thorn in his side since his arrival over two earth-years ago.
"It wasn't my choice to come here, you know!" Murdoc called after him. "Come to think of it, why am I here anyway? Why not toss me into the fiery pit and be done with it instead of all this up-and-down, up-and-down business?"
Jeeves folded his hands, puffed out his chest, and cleared his throat before addressing him. "It seems the Big Guy was in an exceptionally benevolent mood the day you...um...passed on. Apparently, He sees something in you worth redeeming that is beyond the rest of us."
"Wait! What? Does that mean I'm not destined for hell?" Murdoc asked, gazing downward as the stairway he was standing on became shrouded in gray smoke.
"That is correct," the older man replied, unable to keep the tone of disappointment from his voice.
"You mean to say I'm going up...there?" Murdoc looked upward into the blinding light that obscured the top of the stairway.
"Indeed," Jeeves confirmed. "Didn't you ever hear of the stairway to heaven?"
"Hmmm, of course...interesting song, quite popular," he replied.
"Well, they had to get the title from somewhere!" Jeeves exclaimed, the sleeves of his robe billowing as he raised his arms in exasperation.
"All right then," Murdoc said. "What do I need to do to get there and how long will it take."
"Time is meaningless here in purgatory," Jeeves admonished. "A day is a millennium and a millennium but a day."
"Well, it seems as if I've been going up and down these same three steps for a millennium and a day!" Murdoc shot back. "Now, what can we do to expedite the process?"
Jeeves stared at this man, still dressed all in black and wearing that insufferable silver skull ring, with his mouth agape. "The process cannot be rushed, Mr. Murdoc! The Boss, in His infinite wisdom, granted you the ability to make considerable progress towards heaven's gates when He allowed you to be Penny Parker's spirit guardian and allowed her to believe your soul was attached to that abominable hunk of metal on your hand."
"And I assisted and protected her on several occasions," Murdoc pointed out.
"Yes, and you've also haunted, tormented, and plagued MacGyver!"
"Even a dead man needs some form of amusement," Murdoc pouted. "Why don't you send me back to earth so I can make amends?" he suggested cheerfully.
Jeeves grunted at the man's audacity. "That is not within my power. Besides, I have recently been informed that the Boss has special plans for you." Suddenly, a series of melodic chimes filled the air. "Ah, time for lunch," Jeeves proclaimed. "If I'm late I won't get dessert and today they're serving my favorite...angel food cake!" In the blink of an eye he was gone.
Murdoc sighed heavily and sat on the step he had been occupying off and on for the better part of his afterlife. He allowed his legs to swing freely above the puffy white clouds and absently wondered what would happen if he simply jumped into the great abyss below.
"Not thinkin' 'bout jumpin' now, are ya?" a low, raspy voice asked.
Murdoc instinctively shuddered and turned to look up at the elderly man standing next to him clad in a worn plaid shirt and tattered beige fishing hat. Murdoc scrambled to his feet as quickly as possible while still maintaining some semblance of dignity and pulled himself up to his full height.
"Didn't think a guy like you would startle so easily," the man chuckled.
Murdoc cleared his throat, leveled his head, and pasted on a polite smile. "I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting."
"We haven't," the man confirmed. "But I wanted to meet the weasel who's been messin' with my grandson."
"Ah, you must be referring to MacGyver," Murdoc acknowledged, recognition dawning. "That would make you Grandpa Harry."
"It's Mr. Jackson to you," Harry replied gruffly.
"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," Murdoc said with a saccharine smile and slight bow.
"Liar!" the older man snorted. "You wanna stay on that step forever?"
"I've actually become quite comfortable here," Murdoc said loftily. "Now, what can I do for you?"
"You can repent for all the times you tried to kill Bud."
"Not one to mince words, eh?"
"Don't you ever want to get to heaven?" Harry asked, pointing toward the light.
"I don't know," Murdoc mused. "Everyone is so perfect up there. Doesn't sound like much fun. Besides, if repenting for my attempts to neutralize MacGyver is a prerequisite, I fear I will never pass through the pearly gates because I have no remorse for my actions. In fact, I rather enjoyed our little games of cat and mouse. It was strictly business between me and MacGyver."
"That's another lie and you know it!" Harry challenged.
"I will admit that I allowed emotions to cloud my judgement a time or two where your darling grandson was concerned," Murdoc conceded. "But know this, old man. MacGyver wanted me dead just as badly as I wanted to kill him."
In the blink of an eye, Harry Jackson disappeared and in his place stood Jeeves, his ever-present yardstick pointing to the step below the one Murdoc currently occupied.
"But I haven't done anything!" Murdoc exclaimed.
"You lied...twice and admitted your refusal to repent for your sin."
"How could you possibly know that? You were at lunch!"
"I left the intercom on," Jeeves answered flatly.
Murdoc relented and took his position on the lower step just as a bell chimed. "Time for a coffee break already?" he chided.
Jeeves smiled like the cat that got the cream. "That sound means that Harry Jackson just earned his wings."
"What! How?" Murdoc sputtered. "That man was just here harassing me!"
"On the contrary," Jeeves corrected him. "Harry was sent to urge you to repent."
"But I didn't!"
"That does not matter. Harry completed his final assignment and has now entered paradise," Jeeves explained. "Now, I believe you have another visitor." Tucking his yardstick under his arm, the older man disappeared from sight.
Murdoc looked up to find a fit woman with long blonde hair descending the staircase. "My, my, my...if it isn't Kate Malloy."
"Why isn't your filthy carcass burning in hell?" she spat.
"Apparently a Higher Power saw some redeeming quality in me," he responded nonchalantly. "It surprised me, too, darling."
"I'm not your 'darling'."
"Of course not. You are MacGyver's one true love and came to beg me to repent for my grievous acts against your son's father."
"Angus has a new love now," Kate reminded him firmly.
"Of course, how could I forget? The sweet Joanna Fairfax. Do you remember that occasion, just after my untimely demise, when the fair Jo was shot and fell into a coma and we all met at the lake she loves so much?"
"How could I forget? You tried to convince her to stay on the other side so you could get your kicks out of watching Angus grieve yet another loved one."
"But you came along and spoiled my fun," Murdoc pouted, but rallied quickly. "All right, then. Say what you need to say to earn your wings and then leave me be."
"I'm not ready to earn my wings," she informed him sadly. "I'm still repenting for keeping Sean's...Sam's... existence a secret from Angus for so many years. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I realize I hurt them both."
Murdoc yawned, "Surely you didn't come to me just to share your sad, yet boring, little story. Get on with what you need to say."
Kate's spine stiffened and her eyes grew hard. "I came to tell you to stay away from Angus and Sean...and Joanna. They've finally found love with each other and become a family and if you do anything to hurt any one of them I swear I'll…"
"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Murdoc interrupted. "I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure threats and swearing are frowned upon here."
"Just know that I'll be keeping an eye on you. I may not have always been there for Angus during my lifetime, but I'm here for him now, and I'll do whatever it takes to protect him and his new family."
"And how do you propose to accomplish this, hmmm?"
Kate narrowed her eyes. "Let's just say I have friends in high places." With that, she turned on her heel and walked into the light.
"She's a feisty one," Jeeves observed from behind Murdoc.
"Indeed," Murdoc agreed. "MacGyver sure knows how to pick them."
"Perhaps he likes a challenge, just like you," Jeeves offered.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Murdoc asked warily.
Jeeves shrugged. "Consider it food for thought." And then he was gone.
Murdoc morosely surveyed his surroundings. He didn't know why he bothered. The scenery never changed. He lowered himself to sit on the glass step and began to brood. What had Jeeves meant by that last statement? Certainly he wasn't trying to suggest that Murdoc actually had something in common with MacGyver. That was unthinkable! They were polar opposites and Murdoc intended to keep it that way.
Suddenly, Murdoc felt yet another presence beside him. He looked up to find a pale, gaunt man dressed in a dark, soot-stained suit, coughing uncontrollably.
"Helman. What are you doing here?" he asked caustically.
"I'm not here," the older man replied once his lungs were clear. "I'm there." He pointed down to where the acrid smoke from hellfire obscured the stairs of purgatory. "The real question is what are you doing here instead of there?"
"Apparently trying to earn salvation," Murdoc answered. "However, I must say it is quite a dull journey thus far."
Nicholas Helman slowly lowered himself to sit beside his one-time protege and sighed heavily. "I'm really disappointed in you, Murdoc. You were the best assassin HIT ever had. I trained you myself. And you killed me with a damn grenade in that snake pit. I was looking forward to sharing eternal suffering with you, but your weaknesses led you here, instead."
"Yes, yes, I know. My repeated failure to neutralize MacGyver is still a blemish on my record."
"Hmph! MacGyver indeed. You had the nerve to partner with him to save your sister. You joined forces with your mortal enemy! You made a mockery of me, HIT, and yourself all for your own selfish agenda."
Murdoc took a deep, calming breath. "I would hardly consider saving my sister from your murderous plans 'selfish'," he replied with every ounce of restraint he had.
"That's exactly my point." Helman flashed him an evil grin. "You were meant to be an assassin first and foremost, but you allowed emotion and dare I say love to interfere with your life's calling. I grievously misjudged you and it will haunt me for eternity." The old man's lips had now flattened into a thin line.
Murdoc's mind worked furiously to form a scathing retort but none came. Helman was right. Despite mercilessly and successfully carrying out all of his missions, save for murdering MacGyver, he was still a failure, having allowed emotion to color his actions on a handful of occasions he could recall but preferred not to dwell upon.
A loud gong sounded and Helman swore under his breath.
"What was that?" Murdoc asked.
"My summons back to hell," his former boss replied. "I had to pull some strings to come here. I had hoped to return with you, but this has proven to be a fruitless errand."
"Will I see you again?" Murdoc inquired, unsure of the answer he wished to hear.
"I fear not. We are now on separate paths which will never converge." Helman groaned as he painstakingly rose to his feet and headed back to eternal damnation.
His former mentor had just disappeared into the hazy smoke when Murdoc felt the now-familiar slap of a yardstick upon his shoulder.
"I know, I know...down another step," he grumbled.
"On the contrary," Jeeves said. "You have earned one step up."
"How? Did I unwittingly do something nice?"
Jeeves sighed. This man had such a thick skull at times. No doubt it delayed his arrival here at least a couple decades. "Your progress, or lack thereof, has nothing to do with 'nice'," Jeeves explained. "It has to do with self-discovery which will lead to atonement for your earthly sins. You have just acknowledged that, contrary to what you may wish to believe, you are not completely evil. You selflessly put your life on the line to save your sister and annihilate the one who would harm her. That is one of the reasons you are here and he shall rot with the devil."
Murdoc cocked his head. "When you put it that way, it sounds as if I've made a great deal of progress that certainly deserves more than one measly step upward."
"Don't push it," Jeeves warned. "I'm well acquainted with your list of earthly offenses. You still have a lot of work ahead of you." And with that, he was gone, leaving Murdoc to once again ponder thoughts he would rather not.
XXXXX
Purgatory remained a conundrum to Murdoc. He felt as if he still inhabited his earthly body, yet he did not require food or sleep. His battered bones no longer ached and his hair did not grow. He wore a wristwatch, but the hands had disappeared as time, as he knew it, did not exist. Oddly enough, the one thing he actually did miss was people. For a number of reasons, he had kept his earthly existence as unknown as possible, often living below the ground and operating above the law. He had no use for human affection. At least, that's what he had managed to convince himself. Yet here he was, utterly alone with the exception of Jeeves and the occasional appearance of a specter from his untidy past. From the deep recesses of his mind, an image arose, probably from childhood, of how he had imagined the afterlife. The saved souls in heaven laughing and rejoicing as they were reunited with loved ones. The condemned souls in hell wailing and grinding their teeth in a burning fire that would torture but never consume them. And the anxious mob of souls in between, standing shoulder to shoulder as if in line to buy treasured tickets to their favorite rock band's concert. But that was not the case...at least for him. Like always, he was alone.
Before he could slip further into his morose thoughts, a sweet, melodic, feminine voice beckoned him by name. Following the direction from which it came, his eyes lit upon a young, vibrant woman with blonde hair and a peaches and cream complexion. "Ashton," he involuntarily whispered and she smiled gently.
"I've been asking to see you since you arrived, but I was always told you weren't ready to meet me," she said, her voice soft as an angel's feather.
Murdoc swallowed hard. "Do you know who-"
"I know exactly who you are. I know everything," she replied, her voice calm and peaceful. "I know that you're my big brother and that you supported me in secret after our parents died because you didn't want the people you worked for to discover me and put me in danger."
"But that happened anyway," he murmured. "I am so sorry, Ashton."
The young woman shook her head. "You have nothing to be sorry about. You did the best you could. And you and MacGyver did save my life when Helman captured me."
"And there it is!" Murdoc spat, throwing his hands in the air. "MacGyver again!"
"I know how hard it was for you to ask for MacGyver's help," Ashton said, reaching out to put a comforting hand on her brother's arm. "But you did it anyway...for me. Because you loved me. And when Helman was tossed into that pit of vipers, you risked your life to save mine."
"By throwing you into MacGyver's arms," Murdoc grumbled.
"He tried to go back and rescue you, too," she retorted, her voice now strong and firm. "But it was too late. Just like when he tried to save you from the allergic reaction to poison ivy that took your life."
"If you came here to sing MacGyver's praises you can just leave."
"I came to help you soften your heart towards him. To see that the two of you aren't as different as you'd like to think."
"And just how do you figure that?" Murdoc snorted.
"You didn't have to ask him for help, but you did because you loved me. He didn't have to help you, but he did because he understood how much I meant to you. You both put aside your differences for a common goal."
"What else could I have done?"
"Let your need for vengeance and superiority supersede your affection for me. But you didn't."
"Yes, well, love isn't something I generally associate myself with, but you were the only family I had. I couldn't let Helman take you away from me."
Ashton smiled slyly. "You value family. That's another thing you have in common with MacGyver."
At a sudden loss for words, Murdoc simply scowled.
"You can deny it all you want, big brother, but you are capable of love. I saw how you fell for Penny."
"That was a temporary aberration on my part. You see, I simply got caught up in the role of Jacques Laroux," he protested. "Besides, if you know as much about me as you claim, you also know that Penny hated me. She said I disgusted her!"
"Of course she'd say that! You kidnapped her and tried to kill her best friend! But there's more to you than that," Ashton insisted. "Penny saw it in Jacques, and I see it right now."
When her comment was met with silence she continued, "Have you ever wondered what you would have become if Mom and Dad hadn't died?"
"But they did die, and I had to do whatever I could to make sure you had a decent, normal life. I didn't have a choice!"
"You did!" Ashton shot back. "You could have been a photographer or musician or composer. Maybe our lifestyle would've been simpler, maybe not, but you made a choice and now's your chance to undo it."
Murdoc looked at his sister in utter disbelief. "I'm dead, Ashton! I can't go back and relive my life, right my wrongs, even if I wanted to!"
"You say that so passionately, yet you claim you have no heart, no remorse."
"That's one of my shortcomings, I fear. There are times when my passion gets the better of me."
"Like when you try to kill MacGyver?" his sister asked softly.
Murdoc paused and considered all the ways he had failed...yes, he could admit it now...to murder MacGyver. It had always happened in the heat of the moment, the thrill of having his prey within arm's reach, the excitement of the kill and the promise of victory. In the throes of vengeance he had been his own worst enemy always making one critical error.
"I suppose you could be correct," he finally capitulated. "But I made my choices and now I must live with them, so to speak."
Before Ashton could protest, the soft strains of a harp wafted through the air. "I need to leave you now," she explained with a sad smile.
"Could you tell me just one thing?" he asked, uncharacteristically apprehensive. "Did you suffer much?"
Her forehead creased in confusion before understanding dawned. "You mean in the avalanche?"
Murdoc could only nod.
"No," she assured him. "I lost consciousness as soon as it hit me. The next thing I knew, I was here."
"I'm glad," he replied, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Will we be able to talk again?"
"That's up to you," she said before turning and ascending the staircase.
Murdoc watched until she was out of sight. A disturbing, though not completely unpleasant, warmth swelled in his chest. It was an odd feeling. One he hadn't allowed himself to feel in a very long time. It was hope.
Author's Note: Unfortunately, I must put this story on hiatus again. MacGyver, Joanna, and myself are having "creative differences" about the direction the next chapters should take. In real life, that means I have become very busy with work and other obligations. But have no fear…new chapters WILL RETURN!