Chapter 60.

At the farmhouse, Dean got out to open the car door for Sarah. "I'd better not go in with you." he said, "I'll open my mouth and say precisely the wrong thing." He took the crystal out of his pocket.

"I understand how you feel," she said, getting out of the car, "But telling her what happened today is going to be difficult and if you could just be there with me ... But if you can't, it's fine. Today hasn't exactly been fun for you."

Sarah rarely needed anything from them and almost never asked. He took her arm. "Okay, but tell me to shut up as soon as I seem to be about to say something dumb."

She put her hand over the hand on her arm. "Thankyou, my dear friend."

"I figure I owe you just about anything you need." he said.

They went into the house. Jules was in the kitchen, reading one of the many books on angels she had borrowed from the bunker. "How is he?" she said as soon as she saw them. She had been crying, but hunters got used to not drawing attention to that in others.

For once, Sarah seemed to be struggling for the right words. She hesitated.

Jules was immediately alarmed. "What's happened?"

"He's safe and at the bunker." said Sarah, "Sam and Jack are taking good care of him."

"But?" prompted Jules.

"But his grace is depleted." said Sarah, "Without discussing it with the Winchesters, he slipped away to meet Rowena."

"And she attacked him?"

"No." said Sarah, "It seems they had an agreement to use his grace to make some protective crystals for you, Jack and Claire."

Dean put her crystal on the table in front of her. "Apparently, just keeping it around you will protect you from most attacks. Not saying it'll work against Michael, but I think it's pretty powerful protection against magic and that kind of thing."

He saw her jaw tense. He admired the fact that it was the only hint of what she must be feeling. She reached out and picked up the crystal. The grace within it flared for an instant, as if in recognition.

She looked up at Dean. "I swear, I didn't know he was planning to do that. If I'd known, I would've stopped him."

That surprised him. He had assumed she would blame him, not that she would be expecting him to blame her. "I know." he said, "This is all his dumb, stupid idea."

"How bad is it? Is he effectively human?" she said.

"He's had a headache all afternoon and apparently he slept earlier." said Dean.

"If I went to see him, would he talk to me?" she said.

"I don't think he feels ready for that." said Sarah, "He does want to talk to you and stay friends, but today, he's confused and troubled and I don't think the headache helps."

Jules nodded. "I want to see him, but I'm afraid that I'll just make him feel like he's under more pressure than he can handle."

"Maybe tomorrow." said Dean, "His head's all over the place, but the grace depletion could even be a good thing."

"Except if Michael turns up." said Jules.

"Yeah, then, not ideal, but it does make him a little less aloof. Just looking for silver linings. I know this situation couldn't be much worse."

"He never trusted Rowena before. He won't even tell her we're together." said Jules, then she corrected herself, "Were together. I can't get used to that."

"Hopefully, you won't have to." said Dean, "Today just proves that he needs you."

"Today also proves that he cares about you." said Sarah.

"Yeah, more than he cares about his own survival." said Jules, "I wish he'd understand that he's worth more to me than this ... I want to grab him by the throat and shake him until he gets it."

"Me too!" said Dean, "I'm trying not to, but how do you get through to him when he's in this self-destruct mode?"

"Do we know Rowena's intentions?" said Jules.

"Not exactly. I talked to her and she claimed not to be manipulating him, but she has a very nuanced relationship with the truth at the best of times. She's ambitious and she's power-hungry and the chance to get her hands on a living angel and meddle with his grace ... He was vulnerable. He was desperate. She took advantage. No-one is gonna make me think otherwise."

"Is she at the bunker?"

"No. And she's in no doubt about how I feel about all this. If she has sense, she won't try to make contact with him again." said Dean.

"Good." said Jules, "Does he know how soon his grace will return?"

"We're thinking a few days. If he can rest a lot, it'll be quicker than if he's exhausting himself. Tonight, Sam's gonna watch over him. We were worried about him before the grace thing. I tried talking to him, but so far, it's not achieving much."

"How's Jack taking all this?" said Jules.

"Very well." said Sarah, "He's being very mature and wise and looking after everyone. He wanted me to tell you everything will be okay."

"He's so like Castiel." said Jules, "And is Sam okay?"

"Sam's fine." said Dean, "Sam's amazing. And he's making sure Jack gets all the support he needs, so I can focus on Cas."

"And you?" she said.

"I'm Dean Winchester."

"And what you think that conveys is the opposite of what it says to us." said Sarah with a smile.

Dean put his hand on Jules's shoulder for a moment. "Don't worry about me. I'm always fine."

"Yeah, sure you are."

"And he will be too. I promise." he said, "Now, are you gonna be okay?"

"No until he is, but I'll survive. I always do." she said.

"Hunters!" said Sarah, "If you put half the effort into healing that you do into concealing your wounds ... "

"Some things don't heal." said Dean, "Some things, you have to live with, so burying them is best."

"Unhealthy, but true." said Jules.

"But this will heal." he said, "Because I will fix this for the both of you."

"It may not be fixable." said Jules.

"Yeah and Death wasn't killable. I have a way of exceeding expectations."

"That, at least, is true." said Sarah.