TW: Mild Homophobia
CW: SexyTimes

"How are you feeling?"

Draco slumped backward in the chair and didn't reply. More than a month into the new year and things were still so ... still. He glanced out the window and wondered what it must be like for everyone out there, walking about, not worrying about their girlfriend sitting a few metres down the hall.

"Was it a bad week?" asked Penelope.

"More of the same."

"What does that mean?"

"I still think about it."

"What do you think about?"

"Skipping a meal." Draco closed his eyes and admitted, "I've been dealing with Hermione for seven weeks and it is stressful. I worry about her all the time, not because I think she wants to end things, but what if the day comes when she decides to stop getting out of bed in the morning? What if she stops searching for her purpose?"

Penelope wondered, "How does that correlate to you skipping meals?"

"There is a certain steadiness in it. I think, just one ... Only one to give me control again. But I know myself well enough to see it is never just one. If I skip another meal, if I purge again, I won't be able to bring myself back from it a second time. I have to be strong for Hermione right now, but God, there are some moments when I look at her and it kills me to see her like that."

"Like what?"

"She gives up a bit more every day. She has been on the new potion for, what, six weeks? It's much more stable now. You have raised the floor, finally, but only by so much. I hate watching her struggle through this, knowing I am not enough to pull her out of it. Hermione is the strongest person I have ever met; to watch her fall apart has been ..." Draco shrugged. "Heartbreaking. She broke my heart once, and somehow this feels even worse."

"Have you told her this?"

"No! No, of course not. It would only make her feel worse. It continues to eat away at me, so the temptation is always there in the back of my mind. I feel like the answer is right in front of my face but I can't see it properly, and the only person who could find the answer is the one person who can't."

Penelope frowned for a moment as she tried to connect the dots.

"Perhaps you will find the answer soon."

"That's it, Penelope, I am exhausted of trying to find answers. Bringing in Potter and Weasley helped. They were the only reason she agreed to change potion regimens, and even that hurts because I couldn't convince her on my own. She'd been carrying so much guilt over what she did to Weasley that he needed to tell her it was okay. Penelope, it's not okay, it is not okay. Nothing about that situation was acceptable, but the only one of them who carries any consequence from it is Hermione! Because she is not the person Weasley made her into. So she finally agreed to move on, and I thought that was the problem, but it's not. Instead of being afraid of what she might do to people, now she is wondering whether there is anything more she can do at all. How the hell do you look at someone with so much power and get it through their goddamn brain that they can do anything?!"

"How long did it take for you to find your own value, Draco?"

He shook his head and insisted, "That's irrelevant."

"No," replied Penelope, "it's not. You sat in that chair for well over a year before you were able to recognize any value within yourself. Hermione needs time, and she can probably sense how much this weighs on you. Help Hermione feel like part of the world again, however you can manage it."

"I am not sure I know how to do that."

"Perhaps you should ask her."

"Ask her?"

"Not directly. Find out what she feels she can do right now. Valentine's Day is coming up, do you have any plans?"

Draco shook his head.

"I've been a bit more concerned about what happens a few days beforehand."

"Which is what?"

"My ano-versary."

"Ah."

"Two years into this nonsense, I really thought I'd be through this by now." Draco reconsidered that statement and quickly amended, "Actually, I thought I'd be dead by now."

"You nearly were."

"I know. It feels like I should be further along, is all."

Penelope pressed her lips together and gave Draco a look, the one that made Draco think he'd said something stupid. She said,

"A year ago your girlfriend threw a book at your face, broke your nose, and sent you into a suicidal spiral that took nine months to escape. And you believed you would be good to go by February?"

"Essentially."

"Perhaps you should reconsider."

"I know it's stupid. I know."

"As long as you know."

"The thing is, though, I do feel better. Now that I have a system, I feel confident in my ability to keep going, to get well. Recovery used to feel so distant, but now I can almost touch it. I am comfortable moving forward in life. I have to help Hermione get there, too."

Penelope asked, "When you say you are 'comfortable moving forward in life,' what do you mean by that?"

Draco sighed heavily. How much should he reveal? Penelope wouldn't say anything, but saying it aloud made it real. More real than perhaps it should.

"I intend to ask Hermione to marry me."

Penelope couldn't hide her smile.

"That is fantastic news!"

"Thank you. But I can't do it now, not when she is so deep inside whatever depression this is. If I asked her now she would say no, believing she would drag me down the same way she did to Weasley. Which is complete skrewtshit, but that is the way she thinks in relationships. Honestly, Penelope, we haven't had sex in two months. Everything about her is much more dull than it should be. I need to figure out what can breathe new life into her."

"What prompted you to find value within yourself?"

"My family. Knowing there were certain things only I could do, and now I have to be there for Scarlett in a way no one else can be. It took Potter twenty-seven years to stick one toe out of the bloody closet! Part of me moving forward was recognizing I didn't go through all of that for nothing. The only reason I acted like a whore was because everyone told me I was, and I don't want Scarlett to grow up believing that about herself. I know my goddaughter well enough to see she won't hide who she is. The world will push back against her every chance it gets and one day she will have questions her parents can't answer. One day she will ask, 'Is it okay to be the way I am?' And I didn't have anybody to tell me yes. I didn't have someone to say it is okay. Scarlett will have me there every goddamn day to say it's okay."

Penelope nodded.

"I think that is an incredibly strong thing to do, Draco. I also believe there is a way for you to apply the same thinking to Hermione."

"I don't understand."

"You grew up being labeled and harassed for being bisexual, and you've learned your value is in representing it to the world, specifically to your family, that it is not a bad thing."

"And because Hermione grew up being labeled a Mudblood and harassed for being Muggle-born, I need to help her find a way to represent to the world that it is a positive thing." Draco nodded. "I see."

"Do you believe it would be helpful for Hermione to see you embracing a Muggle environment? Perhaps that is a simple way to show her it's possible to be relevant in both places."

"You know what?" asked Draco. "I believe you have given me an idea."

"A good one?"

"I dunno, but I believe so."

"Good, then!" Penelope smiled. "You are gaining confidence, Draco, and I hope you can see that."

"A bit."

.oOo.

The morning of Valentine's Day, Draco rolled over in bed to find Hermione still asleep. He nudged her leg with his foot.

"Hermione."

She didn't move, so he placed a hand on her hip and shook her a bit.

"Hermione."

She groaned and rolled over so she was facing away from him. Draco sighed melodramatically and insisted,

"I didn't want to do this, but you have left me no choice."

Draco placed one leg over both of Hermione's, pulled her close, then pressed butterfly kisses along her cheek and neck until she began to squirm away.

"Stop it!" she laughed. "You have morning breath!"

Draco pressed a quick kiss to her lips and smiled.

"Happy Valentine's Day."

"Oh, God, is that today?"

"It is. I know how much you hate surprises."

"I really do."

"Well, we are going out tonight."

Hermione frowned and grumbled, "No."

"Yes. You and I are going to do something fun, something that requires almost no effort on your part. You, me, your parents, my parents, Theo and Tracey, the twins, Blaise, and Dean."

"That sounds like effort."

"We are going to the ballet, because your parents told me you used to love the ballet. So as your Valentine's gift, we are all going to the ballet as a family."

Hermione sat up and asked, "Are you serious?"

Draco nodded.

"You know, I suppose that might be fun." Hermione twisted the duvet between her fingers. "My dad adores your mum; I think they are practically best friends, now. My mum complains in her letters. 'Narcissa visited. She did not like my biscuits but she loved your father's shoes.'"

Draco laughed.

"Everyone thought you and me falling in love was the strangest thing to happen in this century. But I believe your father being friends with my mother is even more terrifying."

"Your dad and my mum are becoming friends because they spend so much time complaining about the other two." Hermione shrugged. "It's madness."

Draco licked his lips and asked, "Would you mind if I asked you to marry me before you are completely through all of this? I only ask because I know this is what I want and I am at a firm enough place where I know what I want will not change. My hope is that you would say yes, even if you're not fully recovered from whatever this is. If you want me to wait, I will wait, but I love you so much and you are part of my family. I want to show the world you are the most important person in my life, Hermione Granger."

She took Draco's hand and smiled.

"If you asked me tomorrow, I would say yes. If you ask me three years from now, I will say yes. So much of my life is a question mark, and I don't see a point in going forward much of the time. However, for those brief moments that I do see my purpose, it is because of you. While everything else in life is such shit, you are with me through it all. Better and worse? We've only had worse. Sickness and health? We've only had illness. The better and the health are yet to come, and I want both with you, Draco Malfoy, so you can ask whenever you like, as long as you don't expect me to plan the bloody wedding."

Draco smiled.

"Every day, you continue to surprise me in the best ways."

"And every day, you are always here when I need you."

"Because you were there when I needed you, Hermione. You looked at me and saw strength when I felt none. And now I see you with purpose, even though you see none."

She nodded.

"I'll find it."

"Yes, you will. But tonight is for fun. No thinking about therapy or the future or any of that nonsense; not tonight."

"Well then, onto the real question," Hermione teased. "What do you plan to wear?"

.oOo.

Hermione wore a turquoise silk shift dress and Draco opted for a grey suit. Narcissa beamed when she saw them together.

"You two look like ..." She shrugged, lost for words.

"A couple," said Lucius. "You look like a family."

There were so many moments in Draco's life that he looked back on with pain and sadness. There were very few moments when he felt safe and protected, when he felt loved. Meeting everyone outside the Royal Opera House was incredible. He knelt down as Scarlett came running and scooped her up in his arms. As he looked around at everyone, he finally understood what Bastien had been trying to show him for years. Draco was the anchor. All of this came together because of him.

Granted, Dean stayed away from Lucius as much as he could. Tracey didn't seem quite as keen on the Grangers compared to Theo. Lucius and Mrs. Granger seemed to bond over being annoyed by how much time their spouses spent together. (Not that Draco was surprised; his father had always loved to complain.) It wasn't perfect, but it was his family. Draco kept Scarlett on one hip and held Hermione's hand as they all walked inside.

They had decent seats in the centre. Due to the late booking, Draco managed to get one row of seats for himself and Hermione, Scarlett and Sebastien, then Blaise and Dean on the other side. In the row directly behind them were Draco's parents, Hermione's parents, and Theo and Tracey. It was going so well until Blaise kissed Dean.

There was a noticeable gasp from the row behind them, a sharp intake of breath, and a bunch of wide eyes. Draco frowned, confused, as Hermione nervously tucked her hair behind her ears. Something had happened, but Draco wasn't quite sure what the problem was. Then people began to mumble.

"Unbelievable."

"Disgusting."

"And in front of children!"

Draco glanced over to see Dean clutching the armrests. Before he could ask what he should do, Narcissa leaned toward her neighbors and gently patted the man's knee.

"Excuse me."

She offered her hand and shook each of theirs in turn. It was like watching a couple standing in front of a train speeding right for them, and Draco couldn't look away.

"My name is Narcissa and this young man, here," she placed her hand on Blaise's shoulder, "is my son. He has enough money to buy the company where you work and terminate your employment. He has enough money to buy every company you ever apply to and ensure you never work again. The only reason he won't is because that young man right there," she nodded to Dean, "his husband, is the kindest, most selfless man you will ever meet. I am here with my children, my grandchildren, and my friends. If you would kindly remove the stick from your arse, we would be much obliged."

Draco snickered. The rest of the row seemed to take note and kept their mouths shut. Lucius pressed a gentle kiss to his wife's hand and she rolled her eyes.

"Please, darling, talking down to Muggles? This is fantastic, we should do this more often." She leaned toward the Grangers and said, "No offense meant, of course."

Mr. Granger assured her, "Baby steps."

The lights went down and the curtain went up. It was a production of "Alice In Wonderland," a Muggle story Draco was not familiar with. It was fascinating, but the best part was seeing the stars in Scarlett's eyes. At the beginning of intermission, she was so confused.

"Is it over?"

Most everyone left for the toilets, but the Grangers, Draco, and his parents stayed behind. He awkwardly turned around in his seat to face them.

"I need to speak with you while everyone else is away."

Mr. Granger said, "Go ahead."

"I want you to know I plan to ask Hermione to marry me."

"Tonight?" asked Narcissa.

Draco shook his head and said, "No, mother, not tonight. It will be months from now when Hermione is ready. She will be ready and I believe she wants this almost as much as I do."

"Are you asking for my permission?" asked Mr. Granger.

"No, I am not asking for your permission. I only want you to be aware of my intentions because our history has been ..." Draco searched for the word. "Difficult."

The Grangers seemed to have mixed feelings about this, while Draco's parents were visibly thrilled. Mr. Granger admitted,

"I worry Hermione may not be ready to return to that particular phase of her life. The relationship with Ron continues to weigh on her."

"I am not Ron Weasley. Our relationship is completely different because I would never manipulate Hermione the way he did. And, to be quite honest, there is no one I could ever love more than I love your daughter. There is no one waiting off in the wings for me, I am all-in on Hermione."

"I understand that," said Mrs. Granger. "When she moved in with us, she was unhappy. Being with us only made her even more depressed. These first couple months with you have brightened her spirits and seeing her here with you is the first time I think Jack and I have understood what Hermione would be like if she had a family of her own. We have only ever seen her in relationships that were controlling, abusive, and certainly not loving. The way you look at her, I understand why this works for the two of you. Hermione will not survive a second divorce, Mr. Malfoy, so if you believe this can work, I support you in this."

"Thank you."

"I am delighted by this news!" Narcissa leaned over to Mrs. Granger and asked, "How are you at wedding planning?"

"I've already done one for Hermione, I suppose I will be better the second time."

"Fantastic!"

Draco asked them not to mention that conversation. Hermione had already said she would accept, but Draco didn't want her to be able to guess the timing. A plan was half-formed in his mind, and everything needed to fall into place. By the time everyone else returned to their seats, Scarlett was talking their ears off about how excited she was for the second half of the performance.

After the final bows, Sebastien was asleep against Hermione's arm while Scarlett stood on top of her seat to applaud. She grinned and said,

"It's like flying without brooms!"

.oOo.

When they walked into their bedroom, Hermione was happier than Draco had seen her in weeks. He nestled into bed and waited until Hermione came out wearing one of his running t-shirts and no pyjama bottoms. Draco smiled as she climbed into bed.

"It is so large on you. Sometimes I forget how small you are."

Hermione kissed Draco and said, "Thank you for today."

"You deserved a moment of happiness, and I wanted you to see what our family looks like in your world."

"It is nice to know your mum can put anyone in their place."

"She enjoys it too much."

Hermione snuggled into Draco's side and said, "I haven't felt this happy in so long, I'd mostly forgotten how it felt."

"I wanted you to see that we can exist in that world together, too. Even if the ballet is a bit ridiculous."

"You're jealous the men look better than you would in tights."

"Not true."

"Very true."

"I may not be quite that flexible, but my arse is just as nice as any of theirs."

Hermione laughed and placed her hand on Draco's stomach.

"There is one thing that could make this day even better."

"What's that?"

Hermione slid her hand beneath the waistband of Draco's pants, and he closed his eyes. Yes. He'd waited so long for Hermione to be ready for intimacy again. It wasn't long before he went hard between her fingers.

"I keep thinking about how far I am from what I want. But I realized you are always here for me, and I want you just the way you were tonight. I want you just like this, with me, I don't have to wear makeup or do my hair to make you want this. I don't have to wear lingerie, or-"

"Hermione, I want nothing more than to fuck you while you're wearing my clothes."

She grinned.

"Does that get you off?"

"Honestly?"

"Lie to me."

"I prefer you in lingerie."

"The truth, then?"

Draco sighed and closed his eyes as Hermione squeezed a bit.

"I want to see you on top of me and watch your tits bounce, so the next time I wear that shirt I'll remember you like this."

"Good answer, Malfoy."

"One I hope you won't leave to my imagination."

"I'm not quite that cruel."

"Hmm," Draco hummed. "And that is why I love you, Hermione Granger."

"I love you because you didn't mind that I made you wait so long."

"Again, two hands, one cock, a perfectly acceptable ratio."

Hermione straddled Draco's hips and placed her hands on his shoulders. He opened his eyes and groaned.

"Worth the wait. So worth the wait."

"I could breathe today." Hermione rolled her hips. "I felt like myself today."

"I saw it in your eyes."

"Watching you with the twins, it always makes me melt a bit. Makes me think about how one day we'll be doing this, trying for a child of our own. Everything I want in life has changed for the better now that I am with you. You're so patient."

Draco placed his hands on Hermione's hips. She hadn't worn any knickers, so she repositioned herself and sank onto Draco's dick with a soft sigh of relief.

"God, this feels good."

"We can do this at whatever pace you like."

"Slow."

"Slow, then." Draco tugged on the hem of the shirt, right where it grazed his lower torso. He pushed it up on Hermione's stomach and said, "I want to watch."

"I love that." Hermione closed her eyes and tossed her head back as she began to move. "Has anyone else ever made you feel like this?"

"Everyone I've slept with was a reflection of who I believed I was at the time. You are a reflection of where I want my life to go, so no, no one has ever made me feel the way I feel when I look at you."

"Another of the things I love about you." Hermione quickened her pace just a bit. "How you can say things like that. I could be starkers and you would recite a sonnet without a hint of insecurity."

"Let those who are in favour with their stars, of public honour and proud titles boast, whilst I, whom fortune of such triumph bars, unlook'd for joy in that I honour most."

Hermione pulled the shirt up far enough to look down at where she and Draco were joined together.

"Romantic sap."

"My amazing, thoughtful, incredible girlfriend." Draco let out a needy sigh. "Sexy, intelligent, ambitious girlfriend. Great tits girlfriend."

"You always manage to work your way around to my chest."

Draco shrugged and replied, "It's a great chest."

Hermione took one of Draco's hands and placed it on her breast.

"Can't believe I waited so long to feel you like this again. Ron made me work for this, like I was constantly learning what he wanted because his expectations kept changing. You never have expectations."

Draco let go of her chest and leaned back on his elbows.

"You could bounce a bit more."

"I aim to please," replied Hermione. She pressed her tits together then let go as she repeatedly lifted herself almost entirely off of Draco only to sink down again. "Is this good for you?"

Draco pulled Hermione down into a long, slow kiss. He traced the line of her spine with the pad of one finger and pressed the fingers of his other hand into her thigh, desperate to leave an impression, wondering when he would get another moment like this. Hermione moaned against his lips.

"Today is perfect, Draco. I love when you hold me like this."

"I love when you let me hold you like this."

"You could hold me like this every day and I'd never tire of it."

"Now which of us is the romantic sap?"

Hermione laughed. She pushed Draco backward until his head hit the pillows.

"Lay back and enjoy, Malfoy."

Draco placed his hands on her hips and replied, "With pleasure."

Each time Draco thought about what it would be like to be intimate with Hermione again, he imagined it would be fast. Quick and needy, trying to make up for lost time. This was better. It was slow and loving, everything Draco had been afraid to experience for so long. Hermione closed her eyes and tossed her head back, and there was a brief moment when Draco wondered how the hell Ron Weasley had this woman in his bed and chose to let her go.

Draco was going to marry her. Any lingering doubt vanished; this was what he always wanted. Not only the love, but the trust Hermione had in him to be so vulnerable after having been burned so badly by previous lovers. His pants and pyjamas hung halfway down his left leg and Hermione was tugging on the collar enough to stretch it out. It was lazy and effortless.

Draco teased, "Perhaps we should go to the ballet more often."

Hermione's breaths sped up as she revealed, "Not the ballet. This is all you."

"You look so beautiful."

Hermione laughed.

"My hair must look a mess."

"A very cute mess."

"Oh, God," Hermione leaned forward and braced herself against Draco's shoulders. "This is embarrassing, I'm going to come because you complimented my hair."

"I only ever fantasize about you when I get off, but my favourite fantasy is you going down on me. My fingers getting caught in your curls, watching your lips around my cock, coming on your tits. I like when you look like a mess."

"Oh?" Hermione swallowed thickly. "Why's that?"

"When you care about something, you study it, run your fingers through your hair, lean close enough to the parchment to get ink on the tip of your nose. When you look like a mess, it means you care enough to pay attention. I like that you care about getting me off, because it means you care about me."

"So much." Hermione moaned, "So, so much, Draco."

He pulled Hermione against his chest and rolled them over so he was on top. He smiled down at her and said,

"My turn."

Hermione used her foot to push Draco's clothes off his leg. He kicked them off then pressed one of Hermione's knees up toward her shoulder. He slid inside her again and snapped his hips once, twice, then pushed the shirt up to Hermione's neck and exposed her chest. He leaned down to suck a mark into one breast and Hermione rolled her hips up to meet him.

"Yes, yes, so close. God, I've needed this. I need this, Draco."

"Come when you're ready."

Hermione nodded and said, "I'm nearly there."

"Great, because I have been 'nearly there' since we started."

She laughed.

"It has been awhile."

"I will wait as long as you need, Hermione."

She clamped her legs around Draco's hips and closed her eyes. Hermione came with a soft sigh, and Draco moaned into her shoulder. He finished inside her then pulled out. Draco rolled off and Hermione snuggled into his side.

"Thank you for this."

"Merlin's fucking arse, Hermione, shagging you is a privilege. I should be thanking you."

"I meant for going into the Muggle world and helping me to remember why I am the woman I am."

Draco shrugged.

"It's what you need. I want you to be the best you can be, Hermione Granger. If that involves men in tights, then men in tights you shall have."

"It's not the ballet, Draco, it's that you brought your whole family into my world. And they all wanted to experience it with us. I forgot that I can be more than one thing, and you reminded me of everything I can be. For the first time in months, I wanted to have sex. It wasn't a chore, it was perfect because I am with you and you want me. All of me."

"I promise, Hermione, I will never want anyone else the way I want to be with you."

She pressed a delicate kiss to Draco's cheek.

"No one has ever seen me the way you do, Draco Malfoy." She paused then asked, "Would you mind doing me one small favour?"

"I suppose that depends what I would get in return."

"I want you to try the beard again." Hermione ran her thumb along the line of Draco's jaw. "When you had it last, there was part of me that wanted to feel it when you kiss me. To know what it would feel like on my thighs when you go down on me."

"When you put it like that, how could I refuse?" Draco smiled and asked, "Best Valentine's you've ever had?"

Hermione nodded.

"By far the best Valentine's I've had."

A/N: Hope y'all are happy and healthy! It felt so good to write a chapter that's happy.