Chapter 61 : Summertime sadness

The flight went well. Neil and Gabbie were seated at the opposite of Morgan and Alex. Sad but at the moment, Neil was glad because he could talk to Gabbie about the possibility for her to come to live with him and Claire. He shared some words with her, random words from time to time, just to know how she felt. Just to test the water. He didn't tell her concrete things. He didn't want to give her false hopes or to break her routine she liked so much. He needed to talk with Mrs. Kay first to know what she was thinking about this idea.

They landed on time. Time to get their suitcases and he went to the rental shop to get the keys of his car for the week. "And it's good for me."

"So you go to the institution and then you come to join us at the apartment. You eat with us tonight, right?"

"Yes. Just gonna take Gabbie to lunch before dropping her at her place. And then I have to see some little things with Mrs. Kay. Be there by 7. It's Ok for you?"

"Perfect! Alex and I will go to buy some groceries and we cook something for dinner. And then movie night if we don't sleep before!"

Morgan was not wrong. They woke up very early this morning. Add to this, the flight and the emotional charge from separating from each other and he could already feel the fatigue weighing on him. "Gabbie, time to tell goodbye to Morgan and Alex. They are going home."

She was sad, he could tell this by the way she was pouting. "But we see you very soon! Alex and I will come to see you next weekend!"

"She's right. We may even go for a little walk around the lake if Neil is ok with it."

Neil nodded. He was blessed to have such good friends. Morgan hugged Gabbie first, Alex followed her. "Goodbye, Gabbie see you in a few days then." She nodded at them and then grabbed Neil's hand. It was time to go. He found the car in the parking lot and helped Gabbie to get in. Morgan and Alex took care of his suitcase for his peace of mind. Gabbie's one was the only one to put in the trunk.

He sat behind the wheel and took some seconds to send a message to Claire, to tell her they were fine and on their way to the institution. It will reassured her.

"What do you think about a milkshake, Gabbie?"

"Yessss."

He drove them to their favorite dinner, 15-minutes away from San José downtown. It was weird to be back here again. All seemed so familiar and new at the same time. He stopped the car in front of a typical dinner. A giant read neon light was indicating "Coral Bagels". He used to bring Gabbie here for decades. Since he placed her in Mrs. Kays's institution when he arrived in Bonaventure to be an intern there. It had quickly become their place, sharing French fries, a milkshake and onion rings.

Gabbie recognized the place as soon as he parked the car. She was excited and jumped on her seat.

"Easy, carinã. Let me some time to come and get you out of the car."

He got off the car, helped her sister to do the same and took her hand as they walked to the entrance. They had to wait for the waitress to come and welcome them. Gabbie was hopping up and down with impatience.

"Hello and welcome to Coral Bagels. How can I help you?"

"Hello. A table for two please. And would it be possible to have a table in a corner? It's her favorite." He winked at the waitress who smiled at them.

"Of course, I think I can do this. Follow me, please."

She led them to the table in the corner. "Thank you!"

"Be back in a few minutes to take your order."

Neil helped Gabbie to sit and then sat in front of her on the red leather bench. "Have you chosen, carinã?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"Let me guess. A chocolate milkshake like on the picture?"

She giggled. He was right. She was ordering always the same thing for years. It was kind of reassuring for her. "And some fries and onion rings as usual?"

She was still nodding. The waitress came back. "Have you chosen?"

"Yes. A chocolate milkshake with onion rings and French fries for the lady and I'll take a peach ice tea and a cheeseburger." He will balance his diabetes diet tonight.

She wrote everything in her pad and went to the counter. Gabbie was not paying attention to the other people already. She was looking at all the pictures on the wall and playing with the straws.

"Happy to be there?"

"Yeah." She was in her own world now and Neil didn't want to disturb her. He kept talking to her because he knew she could memorize what he was saying. She was disabled but she was far from being dumb. And right now she was likely inventing new fairy stories in her head.

"Wanting to end the holidays on a positive note!"

Their order came quickly. Gabbie looked at her milkshake with sparkling eyes. "Ask the cook to add some extra whipped cream and chocolate chunk for her."

Neil thanked, Natasha, the waitress, warmly. She had been so nice to his little sister. He was glad to see that nice people were still existing on this planet. He looked at her sister drinking the milkshake with envy and eat her onion rings and fries with her hands. And he smiled. The definition of happiness was so simple sometimes.

[…]

At 3PM, Neil parked in front of the institution. He took a deep sigh, looking in the inside rearview mirror, at Gabbie hugging Beebee. Her phone rang at the same moment. He grinned just by seeing the name appearing on his screen. It was Claire texting to wish him good luck.

*Good luck with Mrs. Kays. Hope she'll be OK with this project. And if she's not, just remember you're an awesome big brother and Gabbie is very lucky to have you in her life. Love you from the moon and back. C.*

He took one last big breath and got out of the car to take Gabbie's suitcase in the trunk and then helped his sister to get out of the car. She wanted to climb the three steps by her own. He knew it was difficult for her but he let her do. It was a way to show she could do things alone. She was short of breath when she had finished but the smile on her face was enough to make his heart melt.

He greeted the women at the entrance desk and told them he had an appointment with Mrs. Kays at 3:30. But before he had to drop Gabbie at the nurses's station so they could take good care at her. They waved and smiled at him and didn't even ask for his ID card.

"Dr. Melendez! Gabbie!" It was Anna, the nurse in chief of Gabbie's floor. "Glad to see you. How were the holidays?"

"Perfect but I'm sure Gabbie will tell you all of this better than me. You give me a hug, carinã? I've got to go but I promise I'll be back there very soon."

He knelt to be at Gabbie's height and embraced her. She hugged him for a moment. "Claire will come too?"

"Of course, carinã. She'll be there."

One of the nurses handed her hand to Gabbie who took it. She was already back in her routine. He could hear the nurse ask her questions about her holidays and she did her best to answer her. He smiled slightly and got back to his feet.

"Don't worry, Dr. Melendez, she's in good hands."

"I know, Anna. See you soon." And he was on his way to Mrs. Kays's office.

"Dr. Melendez, nice to see you." Mrs. Kays surprised him.

"Mrs. Kays, nice to see you too."

"So you ask to see me. Is there a problem with Gabbie?"

"No, no, don't worry. Just wanted to ask you about an idea my wife and I had. But we're not sure it's possible."

"Sure of course, come with me in my office. We'll not be worried there."

He walked after her and entered her office. Nothing had really changed here since the first time he came 15 years ago. The first time he let Gabbie here. The first time he accepted that someone else took care of her. He had become impossible for him to support her youngest sister. His studies and residency took too much time and energy and despite the support of a home helper, he was totally overwhelmed.

Finding Mrs. Kays had been a blessing. She was so nice and understanding. Gabbie liked her immediately. She knew how to talk to her. How to listen to her needs. He trusted her right away. And it was not his type. He sat in front of her.

"So what have you talked about with your wife? How can I help you?"

He twisted his hands, not knowing how to start. "Don't need to be nervous with me!" He let out a laugh.

"In fact, we were wondering if it'd be possible for Gabbie to come and live with us or if it is only a big fantasy?"

Mrs. Kays thought a long time before answering. He could see her eyes going all around the place, looking for the words to answer him.

"Dr. Melendez, I'm not gonna lie to you. You're a doctor and know about Gabbie's pathology as much as I do. It's heavy, it's hard to take care for. You remember when you came here the first time. You were so exhausted."

He nodded, lowering his head. Deep inside, he already knew Mrs. Kay's answer but hearing it still hurt. He finally opened his mouth, still processing the words of the director.

"I know… I was a mess. I was exhausted. I was out of energy. Overwhelmed."

Mrs. Kay stood up and came to sit next to him. She put her hand over his arm. She remembered. He was young and idealistic at the time, thinking he could study medicine and take care of his disabled sister. He was wrong. But he didn't want to let her because of their family story. He felt like he was giving up on her. Like their parents did. Mrs. Kay made him realize he was not abandoning her, that he was offering her the best possible thing instead. She will be surrounded by people trained to take care of her.

And slowing he felt less guilty. He learned to trust this woman who knew so much tings about intellectual disability. ID as she called it. How Gabbie's cranial malformation prevented her sometimes to speak, sometimes to think. But that ID didn't mean lack of intelligence as most people thought. People with ID were often smarter than ordinary people. One of the reasons Gabbie liked puzzles so much. They were like mysteries to solve.

"But it's adorable your wife and you thought about taking Gabbie with you."

He gave her a faint smile. "But you know as much as I do that people with ID don't tolerate change very well. She's feeling well here in the institution. She has friends. She knows the staff. She has built a whole life here. Bringing her at the other side of the country, away from her routine could break all the progress she has made during all her time here…"

"I do understand… It's just we're so far away now and…"

"And you're feeling guilty about rebuilding your life in Raleigh with your wife? Don' be, Dr. Melendez. Gabbie is happy for you really. She loves you, she adores Claire. She talks about her princess sister who loves otters, dolphins and seals all the time. And the pictures you send, we all hang them in her room and she kisses them before going to bed. And she really likes your friends, Dr. Park and Reznick coming to visit her regularly."

He remained silent this time. He knew she was right. People with ID didn't like change. In fact, it was not that they didn't like it, it was that they didn't manage to process it. Taking her with him in Raleigh was a beautiful dream, but it was just a dream. And he needed to wake up. He thanked Mrs. Kays for her nice words and her help. He promised to come back soon. She thanked him for his understanding.

Before leaving, he went to see Gabbie one last time, but he stayed at the door step. It was better she didn't see him again, she could have not understood. She was telling about her holidays to her favorite nurse, Lina. He smiled. She will come at Raleigh as often as she liked.

As he came out of the institution, he called Claire. She answered right away. Judging by the noise he could hear she was still at the hospital. "Still at work?"

"Yes. Dr. Litt tried to undermine my authority again …"

"What did he do?"

"He organized an ER strike… " She let out a sigh. She was pissed, he could tell.

"A strike?" He let out a laugh.

"Yep but there were only 3 of them and they were having this little sign on their chest saying we are on strike. This man is ridiculous."

"What did you do?"

"I looked at him and called back-up. Even Dr. Cameron came and helped us to treat patients. He left as pissed as I was at the beginning and he went to the HR to ask for a short leave. Laughable really."

"This man is a joke. Sooner or later he will give up. Just need to stand up in between."

"Yeah… And you what about Gabbie? Can we take her with us? What did Mrs. Kays say?"

"It's gonna be… Complicated… But we knew it could go that way…"

She sighed and remained silent for a moment. Neil kept speaking. "Mrs. Kays confirmed me that people with ID need a daily routine and that Gabbie has found her own here and that it could be insane to remove her from here… As much as we can love her."

"Sounds logical… But it hurts anyway…"

"I can relate… I just wish you were here with me…"

"Me too… I miss you… And it's been only one day…. The week is gonna be long…. I need to go, Lisa needs me for an IV antibiotics injection. Love you."

"Love you too. Call you tomorrow evening."

They hung up. He tuned the engine on and drove till Morgan and Alex's place. He was glad to spend the evening with his friends, the news about Gabbie will be easier to process.