A/N: Hey guys. So, here we are. 4 ½ years after I started this story and 8 years since I published It's all for you, this is the final chapter. I hate to tell you this but there will probably be a part 3. 'Probably.' I think – 'It's all for them' is rather fitting. I have most of the plot in mind so we will see. I will likely be going back to finish Guilt first, as I hate leaving stories incomplete especially if they are part of a series and I have had people asking me about it. I also want to do a few one shots so I may do those as well.
Thank you to all of you who voted to name the baby. The winner is… (Read to find out) hahaha. Very fitting name by the way and congratulations to the winner. I am sorry the post has gotten buried and I didn't note your name down so please let me know your name on the facebook page if you can when I post this.
Always, my thanks to all of you that read and more so to those that review. I do still love writing when the mood is there and there is no writing without the reader so I am forever in your debt.
I continue to bow to Sue for sticking with me all these years and continuing to offer me beta, support, friendship, and helping me grow as a writer. Your input continues to help and I appreciate all you do for me.
So that's it. I will cease my rambling. Stay safe and enjoy.
On we go, one last time…..
Chapter 61
# - Betty signing
Sara's scream echoed down the corridor. Not an unusual sound for that part of the building but half the occupants in the birthing room certainly weren't accustomed to the gut wrenching noise. Even with the door now closed, her pain could be heard all the way to the nurse's station.
"Last chance for that epidural, now, Sara," Janet's soft but serious voice came as her patient tried to breathe. "Point of no return has arrived. We're almost there and if it's a no now, it's all down to you."
Growling, Sara clenched her eyes as tightly as she could possibly clench them, her face burning red as the contraction thundered through her entire body.
"Jesus Chriiiiist," she bellowed, her fingers feeling like they were going to rip the grab rail from the bed.
Janet locked eyes with Grissom who noticeably swallowed.
"Come on, Sara," he supported. "You've got this, honey. Push through it, push through…"
"Not sure… I should be pushing yet," Sara snarled.
His eyebrows soared as he threw Catherine a look. She smirked at him and they both watched as Sara slumped back.
"Sara did you hear me?" Janet asked with a bit of urgency.
Trying to catch her breath as she licked sweat from her upper lip, Sara nodded, lifting up a hand to try and grab something behind her.
"Gas… air… anything. But no epidural."
"Okay," Janet soothed, rubbing Sara's shoulder.
Stepping back, she had a quick chat with Chloe who was watching the monitor. Chloe then nodded to Mia who passed her a face mask.
"Going to give you a little bit of gas and oxygen mix, Sara," Chloe said. "Best we try and keep your pain manageable, and we'll leave you breaking the furniture until later. This should give you a little relaxation even if just for a short period."
"Fine," Sara flustered, flapping a hand through the air.
Janet helped her lean forward then slipped the mask over her face.
"Really nice, long, deep breathes," Chloe encouraged, glancing quickly over her shoulder toward the monitor. "The deeper you can breathe, the quicker relief will come."
Leaning back, Sara nodded, trying her best to follow the instructions but with the fear of the next contraction gripping her, it was easier said than done.
Grissom kept close, daring to take her hand and giving it a squeeze. "Deep breathes, honey," he encouraged, the care and worry rolling off his tongue in waves.
"Try…ing," Sara mumbled.
Curling some hairs behind her ear, Grissom's eyes flicked back to Chloe as she took yet another reading from her colleague. Again, they started talking quietly and he strained to hear them. However, Sara squeezing his hand shot his attention back to her, his eyes darting over her face as her forehead creased and he knew another contraction was approaching.
"Breathe, Sara. Breathe hard," he said quickly.
Again, she nodded, panting into the facemask, doing her best to take in deeper breaths and willing the gas to hurry up and take effect.
"Gil, let go of her hand," Catherine swiftly said.
Looking over his shoulder at his friend, Grissom frowned at her.
"It won't be intentional but she'll crush you if you don't let go. The pain is too much for her now. Let go."
Looking back at his wife, Grissom's hesitation was obvious. But he didn't have to make the decision because Sara slipped her hand from his and clasped one of the hold handles instead.
"Listen to Catherine," she groaned, eyes clenching again. "I will… kill you… if I hurt you… Gil."
Frowning at the lack of sense that statement made, Grissom understood and managed a smile. A slightly false one but a smile just the same.
"Are you feeling any relief yet, Sara?" Mia asked, checking the gauge on the equipment that was pumping the medication through to the patient.
Opening her eyes, Sara tried to focus, eyelids fluttering, eyes narrowing as her blurry vision sought out her husband. Oh, yes, she was certainly feeling a little bit lighter.
Grissom's gaze zeroed in on her when she didn't answer, noticing her eyes rolling a little.
"Honey?" he said, tenderly swiping his thumb across her forehead. "Is your pain easing at all?"
"Hmmmm," she mumbled, head dropping back to the pillow as her eyes closed again. "Yes."
Hearing a slight snap of gloves being put on, Grissom glanced behind him to see the three nurses gathered around the monitor.
"Let's take another look," Chloe said as she moved to the foot of the bed.
With Sara almost sitting now it was easier to do the examination and as the nurse placed a soft hand on her knee, Sara's eyes opened.
"Okay?" Chloe asked.
Sara nodded, her hand tightening around the handle, eyes closing again as another contraction came. Thankfully, the medication helped a little with the pain.
Grissom's attention floated between his wife and the nurse then back to Sara when she cried out under the mask.
Catherine leaned into him, her hand gripping onto his arm. "Are you okay?" she asked.
Sucking in a deep breath, he nodded, trying to will away the cramp like feeling in his gut. Seeing his wife in so much pain was difficult to watch.
Finishing her exam shortly after the contraction faded, Chloe nodded to her colleagues. Janet leaned forwards, Sara's eyes opening as the mask was removed and she looked a little confused.
"It's time, honey," Janet told her. "We need to get you into position, okay?"
As beads of sweat trickled down her face, Sara blinked. It was finally time?
"Can… I have more gas, first?"
Smiling, Janet, placed an arm around her patient's shoulders as Mia raised the bed a little more.
"I'll give you a mouthpiece once we've got you settled. Best to use the gas just as a contraction comes, okay? Use it as you feel you must, she stated. "If you stay on the mask or have too much, you'll be high as a kite and we'll still be trying to get that little one out of you at breakfast."
Huffing out a breath and looking at her husband, Sara gave an uncertain nod. "Okay."
Sara felt Grissom retake her hand as the stirrups were brought up. She lovingly rubbed her thumb over his.
"Make sure you let go in time, okay?"
He gave her the sweetest smile. "I will."
Sara's eyes flicked to Catherine who sent her own smile her way. "I'll look after him, don't worry."
As the nurses helped Sara settle her feet into the stirrups, Grissom ran his fingers through her hair. She looked scared to death.
"I love you," he whispered so tenderly, Sara sobbed.
"I love you," Sara breathed back enjoying his soft lips on hers as he gently kissed her.
"Any urge to push yet, Sara?" Chloe asked, positioning herself between Sara's parted legs.
Clearing her throat then swallowing as Grissom straightened up, Sara looked at the nurse. "Not yet."
"As soon as you do, you push, okay?" Chloe guided. "You'll know what to do when it happens."
Inhaling a huge breath, Sara's head bobbed up and down, her eyes catching Mia as she held out a tube with a mouthpiece attached to it.
"Relief for when it's needed," she said.
Quickly, Sara took it knowing damn well she was going to need it.
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1 hour 30 minutes later.
"Aggghhhh!"
Sara's scream was so loud Grissom feared his eardrums may burst but he held strongly onto her arm.
"That's it honey, breathe."
"Oh, fuck off, Gil!" she hollered back. "Stop telling me to fucking breathe! Agghhhh!" Almost launching the mouthpiece into her mouth, Sara sucked heavily on the tube.
Swallowing hard, Grissom tried not to let her words upset him. He was amazed she'd lasted this long without lashing out. Luckily, her head hadn't started spinning around yet.
Taking a breath, he glanced towards Catherine who hadn't left his side. Not only was she keeping an eye on him but Buddy as well who whined every time Sara screamed. Which, at the moment, was a lot. So it was getting tricky for her to know whether Grissom had an issue or not. But some encouraging words and soothing pats seemed to calm the dog down.
"That's it, Sara. Push, push, push, as hard as you can," Chloe encouraged.
"Gnnnanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Sara growled, the tube slipping from her mouth, her teeth gritting so hard it hurt her jaw; fingers holding so tightly onto the bar she could no longer feel them.
Chloe's eyes briefly looked up to her patient. "Come on, Sara, push, puuuussshhhh. I can see the head, honey. Keep pushing."
Although she tried, she could only push for a few more seconds before slumping back. It felt like her entire body was just one big ball of pain. Even her toes hurt.
Why the hell hadn't she taken the epidural?
Glancing at the piece of paper Janet held out to her with information on the baby and Sara's heartrate, Chloe nodded.
"We'll let her rest for a minute," she said softly.
"Everything okay?" Grissom asked nervously, his gentle fingers whisking over his wife's bare arm.
Hearing his words, Sara's eyes slowly opened, her breathing harsh as she tried to focus on the nurse.
Smiling, Chloe gave them a nod. "We're going great," she replied truthfully.
"I'm so tired," Sara murmured, her eyelids fluttering.
Chloe's attention settled on Sara. "You're almost there. I need you to give the next pushes everything you've got, okay? This is going to be the hardest part but once the heads out, the rest will follow much easier. All right? You can do this."
Sara's head flopped in the direction of her husband feeling his fingers dabble across her arm.
Licking her now dry feeling lips, Sara dropped a fragile nod.
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It had taken hours, but the final moments seemed to be over quicker than Grissom could blink.
One second, Sara was leaning forward, her face brighter than molten lava flowing from an erupting volcano, a scream so piercing he was surprised the windows didn't shatter and then…
And then…
A tiny being slid into Chloe's hands.
And silence.
Dumbstruck at what he was seeing, the very faint painting of his wife caught his ears. Delicately squeezing her hand as she lay motionless, eyes closed, while Mia checked her blood pressure, he watched Chloe and Janet swiftly examine their daughter – her mouth, nose and breathing. Everything was in slow motion then wasn't as they were lifting the newborn and carefully placing her on Sara's chest. Still messy with bodily fluids, cord still attached, this was as natural as it could be but that's what they'd both wanted.
Tiredly, Sara eyes opened as the light pressure registered upon her chest, a whimper catching in her throat at the first sight of her daughter.
"Really good job, Sara," Janet praised, leaning over them to gently wipe off some of the blood and goo from baby's head.
Swiping his sleeve across his sweaty forehead, Grissom felt Catherine squeeze his arm. Looking at her for a second with his mouth open, she gave him a bright smile before they both gazed back at Sara and the baby. The chatter from the nurses discussing delivery of the placenta really falling on deaf ears at that point.
Grissom locked eyes with his wife, leaned down and sweetly kissed her. "You did it," he whispered, their eyes again falling to their daughter who moved the tiniest little bit upon her mother's bare skin.
Managing an exhausted smile, Sara lifted a finger to delicately brush over the back of her daughter's neck. "I did…"
Grissom's chest swelled at the sight before him, tingling in a way he'd never really felt before. He was a dad. Gil Grissom was a father…
"Sara," Janet said, dropping a blanket over mum and baby.
Blinking, Sara lazily drew her attention from her daughter to the nurse. "Hmmm…?"
"We need to move on and deliver the placenta, okay? Then we can get you both cleaned up, organize for the doctor to come and see you then think about getting some rest."
Already shattered, Sara couldn't think of anything less thrilling than more pushing but it had to be done. And she knew delaying it meant a risk of heavy blood loss as well as other things. Slowly, she nodded, eyes floating to Chloe to notice she had a rather long looking needle in her hand.
"You'll feel a sharp scratch just behind the top of your hip Sara, all right?" Chloe advised, drawing close. "But we're almost there, I promise."
Closing her eyes, Sara prepared herself for the 'stab'. But the feeling of Grissom's warm hand sliding into hers was all she needed.
She'd done it. They'd done it. Their daughter was here, and they were safe. Nothing and no one could take that away from them.
Not now, not ever.
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Grissom's fingers whisked through Sara's hair, his free hand pulling the blanket a little more over her and their daughter. With the placenta safely and thankfully quickly delivered, Sara took a well needed few minutes to get some stamina back. Both had been cleaned up, but a shower was encouraged as soon as Sara felt able enough to move.
Catherine had taken it upon herself to inform Betty her grandchild had entered the world. Along the way she was planning to take Buddy out for a much needed bathroom break. When he wouldn't leave Sara's bedside, Grissom literally had to take him from the room himself, hand him off to Catherine, hurry back inside the room and close the door.
Slipping up next to Sara's bed, he loved how her eyes never left their daughter, so enraptured was she at what she was seeing. He felt much the same.
Feeling a gentle pressure on her shoulder, Sara tipped her head up to see Janet smiling at her.
"Okay?" the nurse asked.
"Yeah," Sara lazily breathed. "Sore but okay." As she spoke, the baby moved a little regaining mum's attention.
Janet gave Grissom a quick look. He was a father in awe that's for sure. "The Doctor will be by around 7am," she said. "So, enough time for a shower and a little rest."
Grissom's tired eyes blinked as he looked at his watch. It was almost 2:00am. It felt much later.
"Should she wait that long before seeing the doctor?"
Seeing Sara cringe a bit as she tried to sit up on her own, Janet leaned in to help her then smiled at Grissom.
"There is no current reason for an emergency visit," she assured him. "The birth couldn't have gone any better and we have no issues at present."
His eyebrow inclined. "At present?"
Sara reached out to take his hand. "We're fine, Gil. Shush and relax."
Glancing down at his wife, his brows rose when she smirked at him.
"I can't believe she's here," Sara sighed, free hand gently rubbing over the back of her daughter's head.
Now it was his turn to smile. "Me either. And she's very quiet. She hasn't even cried."
"Not all babies cry at birth," Janet informed them. "Especially with skin on skin contact with mom. It just means they feel safe."
"Hmmm," Sara mumbled happily.
"We should get you cleaned up and into some nice warm pj's," Janet said. "Or what do you think about trying to feed her first? She's probably hungry?"
"Are you hungry, little one?" Sara asked of her daughter.
"Do you need any help?" Janet asked.
Finger whisking across her daughter's cheek, Sara moved the blanket to expose her breast. Carefully taking her daughter in her hands, she edged her further up her chest as her mind whisked back to the birthing classes and what they'd been taught about breast feeding. It didn't seem all that complicated. Not to her anyway.
"I think I got it," Sara replied, watching her daughter's chin nudge across her breast before her lips came to rest upon the nipple. "Come on," Sara encouraged and then she smiled as her daughter latched on. "That's it."
Sara looked up at Grissom who was beaming and threw him a bright smile. Leaning down, he kissed her.
Licking her lips when the kiss broke, Sara rubbed his arm with her free hand as he sat beside her.
"I still can't believe I did it. I didn't think I was going to get through it at one point. It hurt so much."
He gave her the most affectionate smile, his hand rising to brush fingers across her forehead. "I knew you could do it. I had faith. And so did you or you would have chosen to have an easier route."
Sara blinked at him and he frowned at the weird look she was giving him.
"What?" he questioned nervously, eyes flicking down to his daughter just to check she was still okay. She was still happily suckling.
"What did you just say?" she asked.
His frown deepened. "Which part?"
"The first part," she said.
His eyes worked as he thought. "Erm. I said I knew you could do it."
"And you had faith," Sara finished for him.
"Yeah…," he said back still sounding confused.
Glancing back down at her daughter, Sara's smile returned. "Faith."
Now Grissom's mouth popped open as Sara's attention drew back to him. No, they hadn't chosen a name yet, deciding to wait until after the birth.
"Can you think of anything more appropriate?" she asked.
His smile replicated hers. "After what we've been through? Absolutely not and I love it."
Sighing happily, Sara glanced back down at her daughter as she stopped feeding. "Me, too," she agreed. "Hello, Faith."
As baby Faith shuffled a little bit, a knock came at the door. They both glanced over to see Betty hovering in the doorway, Patrick standing next to her waving.
Grissom waved back. "One minute," he signed, then held up a finger.
"How about," Janet began, "little Faith goes to her Dad while we get Mom freshened up?"
Looking a little shocked at that, Grissom rubbed his hands across his thighs. "Erm," he mumbled.
Snorting, Sara sat up a little more. "Gil, you'll be fine. I promise. And your mother will be here for support as well. I won't be long."
Janet held out her hands. "Let me pop her into a fresh blanket."
Nodding, Sara carefully handed her daughter to the nurse as Grissom watched them.
"Hey," Sara said, taking his hand. "You will be fine," she insisted. As he blew out a breath, she nodded behind him. "Can you just grab my robe and help me into it?"
"Um, yeah," he answered, swiftly retrieving Sara's bathrobe from their bag then taking her hand as she swung her legs over the bed.
"Not sure if Patrick would appreciate seeing my assets," she giggled.
As Grissom's eyebrow soared, she pursed her lips at him, groaning as she slipped off the bed.
"Hey, take it easy," he complained, slipping an arm around her to offer as much support as he could. Helping her into the robe, he tied the belt and cupped her cheeks.
Leaning into his hands, Sara closed her eyes for a second just enjoying his touch. "I think I should get to that shower before I fall asleep standing here," she snickered.
"Here we go," Janet said, approaching with Faith all snuggly wrapped in a new blanket. "Ready for your first hold, Dad?"
Grissom swallowed as Sara slipped from his hold, grabbing onto the bed for support instead. "You can do it," she encouraged. "Remember what you've learned. Just make sure you support her head."
Yes, he was nervous as hell, but he could this.
"Okay," he mumbled, raising his arms toward the nurse.
Giving him a supportive smile, Janet carefully laid Faith in his arms, taking Grissom's left hand and gently placing it under his daughter's head just to make things a little easier for him.
"That's it," she told him. "You got it."
Now Grissom was truly beaming as the tiny bundle of life he'd created with the woman he loved nestled in his hold. As he looked at Sara, she offered him the proudest gaze he had ever seen and then she glanced over to the door.
"Come on in," she called over to Betty, waving a beckoning hand at them.
Betty didn't need a second invitation and hurried into the room with Patrick right beside her. She looked so excited it made Sara snicker.
Grissom smiled brightly at his mother as she approached. Proudly, he tipped up the baby slightly.
"Say hello to your granddaughter, Faith."
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Holding onto Janet for support as the nurse opened the bathroom door, Sara stepped out. Yes, the shower had freshened her up a little, but she still felt like she'd run a marathon while trying to hold a melon between her legs. Stopping just outside the doorway, her eyes fell upon the sight across the room.
Betty and Patrick were sitting on the sofa with Betty making baby faces at her granddaughter who lay in her arms. Catherine sat on the sofa arm to the right smiling and Grissom sat on the opposite sofa arm looking like he'd won the lottery while Buddy leaned against his leg. It felt so surreal.
Janet noticed she seemed a little phased out. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah," Sara answered, a happy sigh breezing through her lips.
Hearing the bathroom door close, Grissom looked up to see his wife heading their way and he immediately stood.
"Everyone getting acquainted?" Sara asked, smiling as Buddy nudged into her leg.
"Easy, Mister," Grissom said, making sure the dog didn't bang into her too hard.
"He's fine," Sara said, giving him a stroke.
"She's amazing, Sara," Catherine praised. "She looks so much like you."
Sara blushed, taking Grissom's arm and leaning into him.
"Five more minutes guys. It's late and Sara really needs to get some rest," Janet told everyone. "I'm just across the room if you need me."
Nodding, Sara dropped her head onto Grissom's shoulder, holding him close. "I think you could use some rest as well."
Kissing her temple, his arm wrapped around her. "And I don't think you should be standing up."
She snickered. "I'm okay for a minute."
"Promise?"
"Cross my heart."
Epilogue:
With Sara back in bed, goodbyes were said, and Grissom walked out with everyone into the corridor.
Leaning close, Catherine pinched his cheek. "Well done, professor," she teased.
He threw her a raised eyebrow and she smirked. "I'm so damn proud of you for so many reasons. Be proud of yourself for once."
Smiling, Grissom lifted his arms and gave her a hug.
"Oooooh," Catherine said a bit surprised. "I am being treated."
Pulling back, he gave her a bright smile. "Thank you. For being here. I don't think I would have gotten through tonight without you."
Catherine replicated his smile. "Always," she said proudly. "And now I have to go and look after your cat."
Grissom laughed. "And thanks for that, too. Go and get some rest."
She winked at him. "Call me later and update me." Grissom nodded as Catherine waved at his mother. "Bye, guys."
Betty waved then turned to her son and kissed him on the cheek.
# "Same for you. Go and get some rest. Call me when you can and let me know if they will be letting Sara go home or not or whether you need anything." #
"I will."
# "You have made me one proud lady." #
Bashfully licking his lips, Grissom nodded. "I'm one proud man to be honest."
# "Good. Now go look after your wife and daughter. I will see you later." #
"Yeah," Grissom said quietly, waving to them as they followed after Catherine.
Inhaling deeply, Grissom stepped back through the doorway. Quietly moving across the room, he approached the bed and gazed down at his wife. She looked to be asleep. Stepping close, his hand lifted to the blanket wrapped around his daughter as she lay on Sara's chest, fingers pulling it from her face a little so he could get a better look. He was mesmerized.
She was so beautiful. They both were.
"You can take her you know."
Grissom startled, his eyes shooting to Sara's as they opened, and she grinned at him.
"Jeez, I thought you were sleeping," he gasped. "Scared me to death."
"Sorry," Sara chuckled then yawned. "Although, I don't think it will be much longer before I am actually asleep."
Lifting a hand, he slid fingertips through her hair. "You must be exhausted."
"Hmmm," she agreed. "You, too."
"I'm fine," he said softly.
Her eyes playfully narrowed at him. "Liar."
Eyebrows soaring, he gave her an innocent look. "Maybe a little tired," he admitted. "And I will sort my bed out once you've had your last check."
Smiling, but not having the energy to do much else, Sara glanced down at her daughter, running a delicate finger across her cheek.
"You wanna go say hello to Daddy?" she asked as the tiniest of fingers sticking out of the blanket moved. Lifting her head, she wriggled her eyebrows at her man. "Ready for another cuddle?"
Tongue poking over his bottom lip, Grissom then cleared his throat. Although he still felt nervous, he was determined to tamper down that feeling and leaned forwards. Sliding careful hands under his daughter, he lifted.
"There you go," Sara whispered, her chest swelling.
Eyes glued to his daughter, Grissom sat down on the chair watching as Faith's tiny mouth opened.
"Are you trying to talk to Daddy?" he asked of her.
Sara watched Grissom chatter away to his daughter who, very slightly, shuffled in his grasp.
"I'm still waiting for you to cry, little one. Or at least gargle or something."
His fingers brushed across her chin, her tiny fingers coiling around her Dad's bigger one. But not a sound came.
Suddenly, Sara's heart skipped a beat and a churning started to brew in her tummy.
Grissom glanced up with a smile which quickly vanished at the uneasy change in her expression.
"Sara?" he questioned. "Are you okay?"
Her eyes flicked to Faith and then back to him. Oh, no, she did not want this thought to be in her head. But they hadn't heard a peep out of their daughter. And that could mean… Her lips moved but no words seemed to come out.
Rising quickly to his feet, Grissom leaned in toward her. "Honey?"
Sucking in a deep breath, she stared right into his eyes. A lump so big was forming in her throat it was hard to swallow.
"Can… can she hear you?" Sara quietly asked as tears welled in her eyes.
Grissom's eyes widened at her unexpected words then he quickly looked down at Faith who stared up innocently at him.
Could she?
The end.
A/N: Well, it wouldn't be me would it without a cliffhanger? Thank you so much for reading. If you have the time, a review for the story would mean the world.
Much love xxx