Chapter 62
(Phoebe's POV)
"Are you ready to go?" Nathan asks as the nurse is signing our discharge papers.
"More than you know," I smile at him. Henry is waiting at home. I have missed him so much.
I am allowed to walk out of the hospital thank god. I have been laying around for three days. I want to walk. Nathan has Sawyer in her carseat. I put the carseat cover over Sawyer's seat so she is able to sleep.
Nathan holds the bag and Sawyer's seat as we walk out. He already has the car pulled around. Sawyer is in her going home outfit. It is a soft pink onesie and matching bow. She looks adorable in it. It is the newborn size but it is still too big on her.
I am in sweats and a sweatshirt with my hair in a bun. I guess this is a mom's life. I thank Lori for all of her help. She gives me a hug and wishes us well. We head out to the car. I sit in the back and Nathan places the carseat on the carseat base. We hear the click to tell us it is locked.
We have a newborn. This is a first for both of us. I smile at Nathan as he shuts the car door and gets in the driver's seat. "To new adventures," he says and squeezes my hand. I lean up and kiss him.
"Seatbelt," he reminds me. Safety freak.
"I can't believe she is ours," I say and Nathan looks at me from the rearview mirror.
"She is perfect, just like her mommy," he says and I shake my head.
Nathan drives and I stare at Sawyer. I look at her sweet little chubby cheeks and perfect lips. She has her hands clasped together. She is so tiny.
Before we know it we are in the driveway. My parents are at our house with Henry. We pull up to the big white house and Nathan stops the car.
"Sawyer, I hoped you enjoyed the quiet while it lasted," Nathan says as he undoes her carseat from the base. I laugh at that. Henry is very loud.
Sawyer is still asleep in her seat. I go in first to talk to Henry and Nathan is going to wait with Sawyer outside until I get him. "Henry, look who is here," My mom says. They are in the kitchen. I can see Henry colored a welcome home sign that is hung up. I also smell chick fil a. Yum. My parents are the best.
"Mommy," Henry screams and darts toward us running at full speed. I bend down and catch his flailing body in my arms.
"Mommy, missed you buddy," I say and tears prick my eyes. What did I do to deserve this life?
"Mommy, you hab baby in you belly?" Henry asks and pokes at my now soft belly. It probably looks like I still have a baby in my belly.
"Ever the charmer," my mom jokes. We all laugh.
"No buddy, mommy had your baby sister," I say. "You are a big brother," I say. I laugh as he has his best big bro shirt on.
"Baby sista?" He asks and looks around. My parents laugh.
"Mommy boo boo," he says and kisses my arm. He has already forgotten about his sister. I have bruises on my arms from the IVs.
"Thank you buddy, mommy is okay. Do you want to see your baby sister?" I ask him.
"YES," he says and jumps up and down.
"And daddy," he says and I smile. I open the front door and Nathan walks in with the carseat.
"DADDY," Henry yells. Luckily it doesn't wake Sawyer.
"Hi buddy," Nathan says and hugs him tightly.
"We have to be quiet because the baby is sleeping," Nathan tells Henry in a whisper.
"Quiet," Henry looks at my parents and they laugh. I love that they get to watch them meet. They are the most proud grandparents there are.
"We'll be quiet," my dad says to Henry. Henry gives him a thumbs up which makes us laugh harder. He is a ham.
"Sista?" Henry asks and points to the carseat. It has the floral pink carseat cover over her so you can't see her. I sit on the floor and have Henry sit in front of her too. I pull off the carseat cover and Henry kneels up.
"Baby," he points to her and I nod. Nathan is on the other side of him.
"That is your baby sister, Hen," Nathan says and Henry looks at us with the biggest smile.
"I big broder," he says and we nod. Henry reaches out to touch her.
"Gentle," Nathan reminds him. We practiced with him with a baby doll.
Henry touches her hand and she wraps her hand around his finger. He giggles and looks at us. "Mommy wook," Henry says and I smile nodding.
"She loves you, Henry," I say and Henry gets the biggest smile on his face.
"I lub you, sista," henry says and leans forward kissing her. I wipe the tears that fall down my face.
"Bubs, I big broder," Henry says and runs over to my dad. My dad bends down to his level.
"You are, Sawyer is so lucky to have you," My dad says and Henry is smiling and jumping around.
"How are you feeling Honey?" My mom asks and comes over to me. Nathan helps me stand.
"I have felt better, but I am so in love," I say and she nods. She gives me a tight hug and rests her head on mine.
"Why don't you go shower, we will keep these two entertained," Nathan says and I nod.
"She is going to be hungry any-," Sawyer starts screaming. Man does she have a set of lungs on her.
"Stop," Henry says and covers his ears. My dad takes Henry out of the room. I go and undo Sawyer from her carseat. I pick her up and go into the kitchen. I sit at a bar stool and lift my shirt. She starts eating happily.
"Sista, loud," Henry says and I nod.
"She is loud," I say and Henry smiles. Henry pulls Nathan over to play with him. I want them to get some one on one time. Nathan has missed Henry and vice versa. My dad comes over to me.
"How are you?" My dad asks and pats my hand.
"I am okay. Exhausted, but I wouldn't trade it for anything," I say and my dad nods.
"I remember the newborn days. They are hard, but don't blink because when you do your baby will be holding their baby," he says and I smile. I will always be my dad's baby.
"I know, I feel like she has already gotten bigger, even though she has lost weight," I say and look down at her feeding. My dad smiles at her. She is going to have him wrapped around her finger.
Sawyer unlatches and I pull my shirt down. I pull her up to my chest. She smells so good. The newborn smell will never get old. My dad is watching and has the biggest smile on his face.
"Do you want to burp her?" I ask him.
"I would love nothing more," he says and takes her. She looks so tiny against him.
"Hi peanut, this is your grandpa Bubs, I love you so much," he says talking to her as he gently pats her back. I smile and watch him hold her.
"I am going to go shower, is that okay?" I ask my dad.
"Absolutely, I got my girl," he says. He is already calling her his girl. I hug my dad and kiss Sawyer's head. She is already drifting off to sleep on his chest.
"I am going to shower," I say to Nate and kiss his head then Henry's. My mom is sitting with them too.
I walk into our master bathroom and shut the door. I look at myself in the mirror. Man my body has changed. I go and turn on the shower to warm it up. I turn on the steamers too.
I strip off my shirt and my pants. I look at myself in the mirror. My belly is still soft. I can tell it is smaller than what it was, but still swollen. My breasts have purple marks on them from Sawyer. Not to mention they are huge. I miss my old body. Frowning I turn away from the mirror and get into the shower.
I take my time washing my hair and body. I get the hospital smell off of me. I wash my downstairs area as instructed. I shave my armpits and legs for the first time in what feels like forever. Being able to bend down again is a game changer.
I get out and dry my hair. Man do I need a haircut. I put on my first nursing bra. It is so comfy. Why haven't I worn these my whole life? I put on one of Nathan's tshirts and a fresh pair of sweatpants. I have moved out of the diaper and am now in granny panties and large pads. The bleeding is slowing.
I walk out and see my mom holding Sawyer and Henry eating dinner. Nate and my dad are eating too. "Look at you," my dad says and I do a spin.
"I feel like a new woman," I say and laugh. Nathan kisses me and points to my food.
"Thank you," I say and begin eating.
"How is she?" I ask looking at Sawyer.
"So sleepy," my mom says.
"It is exhausting being a baby," I say and smile.
"Mommy, you do my bath?" Henry asks. I want to spend some one on one time with Henry too. I never want him to feel left out.
"Of course, buddy," I say and he claps his hands.
I finish eating and Sawyer is hungry again. "She is a hungry girl," my mom says and I nod. I take her and slip her under my shirt. She is in her pink onesie. My mom must have taken off the bow.
"She is technically a preemie so she will eat more and sleep less," I say repeating what the nurses warned us about. I watch as she latches onto my boob.
"Well if you ever need rest and want us to come over and watch her let us know," My dad says and I smile.
"Bubs come over everyday," Henry says and I smile. I am sure the both of them wish that was possible. I laugh at Hen.
"That would be great, huh?" I say to Henry and he nods. Nathan kisses Henry's head and wipes his hands down before he runs off to get a truck.
"Speaking of," my dad says and looks to my mom.
"Oh right," my mom says. Oh boy. What news do they have?
"So I have made a decision recently," my mom says and I pray it is nothing drastic. We have too much going on already.
"Okay," I say urging her to keep talking.
"I have been with Grey publishing for over 25 years, and have loved every minute of it. But, I am getting older. Working a 45 hour work week is becoming less and less appealing," she starts saying. I think I am catching on to what she is saying, but I don't know if I am right.
Sawyer interrupts us by screaming against my chest. She is done eating. I close my nursing bra and bring her up to my chest. I start burping her.
"Go on," I say to my mom. Sawyer lets out a little hiccup and burp. I wipe her mouth from spit up and hold her rocking side to side gently. She starts to drift back to sleep. Nathan comes over and I pass her to him.
"I am going to be retiring as of next month. I am going to still edit some books, but besides that I am a full time grandma," she says.
"That's great mom, congratulations," I say and give her a hug. Nathan hugs her too. It is weird to think my parents are grandparents.
"We are throwing her a party next month on Saturday the 18th. It will be a lot of fun," my dad says. He is smiling proudly at my mom. My mom works very hard. I am so proud of her.
"I can spend more time with these little ones," she tickles Henry's belly as he runs by us. Henry giggles and hugs my mom's legs.
"Well we will definitely have Berk or Nathan's mom watch these crazies and be at the party," I say and they nod.
"Well you all need sleep, I heard someone has a bath to get to," my dad says. I smile and nod. Henry runs back in. Sawyer is passed out on Nathan's chest.
"Say bye bye to Bubs and Nana, Hen," I tell Henry.
Henry is hugging my mom and telling her all about his toy. My dad comes over to me. "If you need anything you know to call me right, Bubs," he asks and I nod smiling.
"Of course I do," I say and he gives me a tight hug.
"Seriously, even if you are up at night with her, just call," he says and I nod.
"I will, Dad, I promise" I say and he nods.
"It is hard, but remember how fast it goes," he says and looks at Sawyer and Nathan. I give him one more hug. I hug my mom too. After they leave, I look at Nathan who is showing Henry Sawyer.
"Let's go take a bath bud," I say and Nathan kisses me.
"I am going to try to put her in the rocker," he says and I nod. We got a baby swing/rocker. My parents bought it for us. I remember Drew loving this as a baby. Hopefully Sawyer does too.
I follow Henry up the stairs. He runs to his bathroom. I laugh as I walk in because he is striping. "Nakey boy," I say and he laughs. I run his tub and wait for the water to heat up.
I help Henry in and he sits down. "Do you want to wash your hair and body first or last?" I ask him.
"Hmmm," he says and taps his chin. I laugh at this.
"First," he says and I nod.
"Okay, welcome to Mommy's hair salon please sit your bottom down and face the wall," I say. We always pretend that I am his hairstylist when I wash his hair.
"Would you like the green or blue shampoo sir?" I ask him and he giggles.
"Gween," he says and I nod. I take the apple scented shampoo and wash his hair. I use my nails and scratch his head which he loves.
"Does this feel good?" I ask him.
"Yep," he says.
"I missed you while I was away," I tell him.
"I misses you but I stay wif Aba and Drew," he says and I smile. Ava and ANdrew took care of him. They are coming over tomorrow to meet her. Claire is coming over tomorrow night. This little lady has a lot of people to meet.
"Did you have fun with Ava and Drew?" I ask him.
"Yep, Drew pwayed caws and Aba made me mac cheese," he says and I smile.
"That is so much fun," I say and finish washing his hair.
"Mommy?" Henry asks as I am washing his body.
"Yeah buddy," I say.
"When does sista go home?" He asks. Oh buddy.
"Buddy, sister stays here. She is your sister, she lives with us now. Daddy and I are Sawyer's mommy and daddy too," I say and Henry looks at me. I can tell he is thinking about this. We have had this discussion before, but now that she is here I think he is getting it more.
"You my momma," he says and I nod.
"I am your momma, but I am Sawyer's mommy too," I say and he nods.
"You are a big brother, isn't that exciting?" I ask him.
"Yes, I big broder," he says.
"Do you know what that means?" I ask him.
"No," he says and is playing with his boat.
"It means that you get to teach Sawyer all about your cars and trucks. You get to teach her about Paw Patrol, you get to protect her too," I say and he smiles.
"I wead her bown bear?" He asks and I smile. That is the book Nathan always reads to Henry. It also is what my dad used to read to me.
"Of course you can. How about tonight before bed," I say.
As promised, after Henry's bath and after Sawyer is fed and burped we go into our room. Henry is snuggled up to Nathan and I am holding Sawyer. Henry has his brown bear brown bear what do you see. I move Sawyer so she can see the book.
Henry gets up on his knees. Nathan is holding onto Henry so he doesn't jump on Sawyer. "Say hi buddy," Nathan says.
"Hi buggy," Nathan says and I laugh looking at Nathan.
"Did you call her that?" I ask Nathan. Where did he get buggy.
"No, did you?" He asks and I shake my head. I look down as Henry leans down kissing her forehead. My heart explodes.
"Buggy, I wead bown bear bown bear what you see?" Henry says. I turn Sawyer so she is listening.
As he begins to read, Nathan is whispering the words to him. I laugh as he does voices for the animals. My heart is growing 8 times its size. I look at Nathan who smiles at me. How is this my life?
After Henry reads I take him to bed. It feels like midnight, but really it is 8 pm. I read Henry a book and then turn on his sound machine. "Mommy, I love you and Daddy. I love Soy buggy," he says and I smile.
"Why do you call Sawyer buggy?" I ask him.
"Cause she small like buggies," he says and I laugh.
"Okay, I like it," I say. Maybe Henry just created buggy like Teddy created Bubs for me.
I kiss him goodnight and walk out. I stop into the bathroom. Peeing hurts. No one talks about the after birth issues. I grab a new pad and do my business. Peeing takes 10 minutes now. After I wash my hands, I head back to my room.
I stop and see the sweetest sight. I grab my phone and snap a picture. Nathan is dead asleep with Sawyer on his chest sleeping. The exhaustion is real. I turn on the sound machine in our room so Nathan doesn't wake up if Sawyer cries. Carefully, I pick Sawyer up and take her downstairs. I'm letting Nathan sleep.
I go to sit on the couch when there is a knock on our front door. I reposition Sawyer in my arms so I can open it. I am wondering if my parents forgot something. Or my dad is just worried about me not sleeping.
"Don't scream please, I don't have much time. Is that my grand baby?" the voice sends chills down my spine. I don't know what to do. I hug Sawyer closer to me and step back.
In front of me stands James Moore.