NOTE: Don't worry, I'm not actually mad at anyone. Just refrain from asking about that jacked steroid Saiyan. I have things planned for that movie that I believe you guys will really like. Now to go over some other things.
1. I completely forgot about the Oracion Seis for the most part. I don't plan to bring them in at all, because this cast is big enough as it is and it's way too late into it now. There also other members of Fairy Tail that I didn't include or cut out, that's on me just wanting to keep this cast small at the start of this story.
2. I completely forgot about DBZA Kai episode 3, sorry about that. But, since the TFS Wikipedia doesn't have the transcripts for both parts, I'm gonna have to do that one on my own. I've decided to do that episode after episode 60, just so they can get a full closing on the Android/Cell arc as a whole.
3. I also cannot wait for them to react to Kakarot, because it'll be weird for them to see these characters not acting like complete idiots 100% of the time.
4. I'm really glad you guys loved their reaction to Future Gohan's death. I felt that I maybe overdid it a bit as I was writing it, but thank you all for making me feel better about it.
5. Remember the Lacrama is becoming more interactive by this point in the story, and you guys will see what I mean as we get further into this arc.
Anyways, enjoy and review!
Chapter 62: Cell Service
"Before we start this next part, I want to say something," Jellal announced.
"Hm? What is it, Jellal?" Erza asked.
"I know that we're all angry about what happened to the alternate version of Gohan, but we shouldn't let that affect how we view the Present versions of 17 and 18," Jellal stated.
"Hmph! We already know that Jellal. 17 and 18 haven't done anything wrong, besides hunting down Goku," Natsu replied. His mind thought back to how he couldn't cast judgement upon Rogue for the things his future counterpart had done.
Everyone else in the guild shared the same sentiment as Natsu, which made Jellal smile. As if he already knew how they would all answer.
"Of course," He said.
"If that settles everything, then let's start it up," Mira reactivated the lacrama.
(cut to Piccolo confronting the mysterious creature responsible for the disappearance of nearly all of the population at Ginger Town)
Instantly all of the Dragon Slayers reeled back at the sight of the bug. Their stomachs feeling uneasy just at the sight of the creature.
"Great, we're back at this point," Gajeel grumbled.
PICCOLO: What the hell is going on here?
CREATURE: (laughs) Let's answer your question with another question…
"I-I don't like the sound of that," Wendy trembled.
PICCOLO: Yeah? And what's tha-
CREATURE: WANNA SEE ME DRINK THIS GUY?! (sticks his tail into the man, who starts screaming)
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
[OPENING SEQUENCE]
(cut to the creature absorbing the screaming man)
"THAT IS WRONG! THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS WRONG WITH THIS!" Sting cried out.
Rogue covered Frosch's eyes so that the little frog Exceed wouldn't see.
NAIL: (Ugh, oh God... I-I think I'm gonna puke.)
"Lucy already started puking," Happy watched as the Celestial mage released her lunch into a bucket.
"I think I'm gonna be next," Yukino covered her mouth. Her face turned green at the sight.
PICCOLO: (thinking) You can't puke, you're in my-
(the sound of vomiting is heard)
KAMI: (Oh good lord, it's everywhere!)
"Do they have some sort of spirit bodies in there?" Levy questioned.
"That's not something to be focused on right now, Levy," Gajeel responded to her question.
CREATURE: (finishes absorbing the guy) Ah... So, Piccolo... What brings you to my neighborhood?
PICCOLO: I sensed a disturbance.
CREATURE: Well I am pretty disturbing! Remember that time I drank that guy? That was f**king weird.
"There are many words to describe what we just witnessed, and weird is not at the top of that list," Wakaba said, weakly.
PICCOLO: So I take it you're the one who exterminated this entire city, then?
CREATURE: Oh, no, no, that was another guy. His name was "Shit Sherlock", first name "No".
"Why did that sound like a Vegeta response?" Macao asked.
PICCOLO: Why? Just, why?
CREATURE: Well, three reasons: first, I was asleep for like, four years, and I am understandably hungry.
Natsu didn't want to agree with the weirdly terrifying bug man about being hungry. Seeing as the thing drank somebody.
CREATURE: Two, there's nothing more satisfying than the rush I get from watching a person disappear. And three, and I need you to pay attention on this one... (lets out a huge blast)
(cut to Kame House)
GOHAN: Huh? Why does it feel like my dad is fighting Mr. Piccolo? And Vegeta is fighting Mr. Piccolo? (sounding confused now) And Mr. Piccolo... is fighting Mr. Piccolo?
"That's weird, there's no way for that to be possible...unless.." Jellal's eyes widened as an idea popped into his head.
KRILLIN: That's weird, it even feels like I'm out there.
GOHAN: It feels like everyone we know is fighting Mr. Piccolo!
KRILLIN: Except for Yamcha.
"That confirms it," Jellal said.
"Hm? Confirms what?" Erza asked him.
"That creature must be made up of everyone's energy. Kinda like how you can fuel a machine with different people's magic. You'd be able to sense the mixture of magic. This creature must be like that," Jellal explained.
"Fascinating! I need to know more!" Levy reopened her notebook.
"That makes it more creepy to me," Millianna shivered.
YAMCHA: Well, duh, that's because I'm right here.
KRILLIN: Yeah. That's gotta be it.
(cut back to Piccolo and the creature)
CREATURE: Ah... And three...that is how I power the beautiful temple that is my body.
"By drinking other people it gets stronger? That's...unsettling," Levy responded.
The Dragon Slayers agreed more than anyone else, actually being able to sense just how creepy the strength of that thing is.
PICCOLO: You... You're a monster!
CREATURE: (mocking Piccolo) Oh, I'm a monster! Like I haven't heard that one screamed at me today. Of all peop- (He spits out something on the ground, which is a pacifier. The creature stands there looking surprised.)
Everyone in the audience froze at the sight of the pacifier, and the implications that it meant.
Lucy promptly threw up in the bucket again.
CREATURE: ...Oh, that is just embarrassing! It's not even the right hole...
PICCOLO: As much as it disgusts me to admit, you and I at least have one thing in common..
"You're both green?" Romeo guesses.
CREATURE: More than you know... But continue.
PICCOLO: We both get a significant power up when we absorb someone.
CREATURE: Ominous! (Piccolo lets out a huge blast)
"YEAH! PICCOLO!"
(cut to Android 17 and 18 standing out in a frosty wilderness)
ANDROID 18: I can't believe you screwed up the van.
ANDROID 17: Honestly, I don't know what you were expecting. I didn't even get my license before Dr. Gero went all Blade Runner on us.
"That's a bit morbid," Lisanna said.
ANDROID 18: Excuses. Hey 16, how's that tranny coming along?
ANDROID 16: I don't believe the car identifies as either male or female.
"Can't tell if that was on purpose or he was genuinely confused," Bickslow said.
ANDROID 18: (after a short pause) So, what do you think that explosion was?
"They actually felt that? Wow, Piccolo really did get stronger," Mira was surprised a bit.
ANDROID 17: Eh, who cares? It's probably just Vegeta throwing a hissy fit or some-
ANDROID 16: Wait. Did you mean the transmission? Because it's fixed. (starts up the van)
"Technically she wouldn't be wrong," Minerva said.
(Cut back to Piccolo and the creature, with Piccolo having just leveled the surrounding area of Ginger Town. The creature is seen emerging from a small rubble.)
CREATURE: (thinking) Oh, so he fused with Kami? So that's a thing- (Piccolo spins and kicks the creature)
"That kick was awesome!" Sting and Natsu enjoyed the creature getting kicked.
"How did it know about Kami?" Freed questioned.
KAMI: (Did you just spin kick him?)
PICCOLO: (thinking) I know, right? I've always wanted to do that.
NAIL: (Please don't do it again.)
"No! Spin kicks are awesome!" Natsu shouted.
PICCOLO: (thinking) MY body, MY rules! (the creature dodges his spin kick) DAMN IT!
"DAMN IT!" Natsu shouted at the same time.
CREATURE: (thinking) Huh, faster than me... That could be a slight pain in the ass... But— (Piccolo kicks the creature from behind) (out loud) OWW! MY "ASS BUTT!"
"Ass butt?" Wendy tilted her head, confused.
(the creature goes flying but manages to suspend himself in the air right in front of Piccolo)
CREATURE: Wanna see something cool? (flies higher up in the air and raises two fingers up to his forehead)
"It even knows Piccolo's moves!?" Elfman shouted in shock.
PICCOLO: (thinking) What is he doing?
KAMI: (That looks like your technique.)
PICCOLO: (thinking) Well, it's not.
"There's only so much denial a person could possess, without being Vegeta," Mira said.
NAIL: (He's doing the finger thing.) (the creature's fingers are now teeming with power)
PICCOLO: (thinking) So? Goku does that when he telepo-
CREATURE: Makankōsappō! (fires the Special Beam Cannon)
"It even said it correctly!" Levy called out.
PICCOLO: (thinking) Oh, crap.
KAMI: (So that's how you pronounce it.)
(Piccolo deflects the blast and proceeds to fly up towards the creature. The creature turns to attack Piccolo, but it turns out to be an afterimage and turns around to see Piccolo face-to-face.)
CREATURE: (thinking) He's gonna kick me again, isn't he? (Piccolo kicks the creature, sending him flying down to the ground)
Some of the mages laugh at Piccolo doing exactly that.
CREATURE: (out loud) All right, I'm gonna need you to do me a solid and not kick me anymore.
"No," Laxus answered.
PICCOLO: Start by telling me how you know my technique, and maybe I'll consider it.
CREATURE: Well, what can I say? Imitation is the greatest form of flattery. Speaking of which... (the creature crouches into the Kamehameha wave stance) Ka…
"Even the Kamehameha!?" Natsu cried out.
"How many of their moves does this thing know!?" Erza questioned, glaring.
PICCOLO: (thinking) No! That's impossible! The only one who knows that technique is Goku!
"Really?" Levy couldn't help but ask sarcastically.
CREATURE: Me...
PICCOLO: (thinking) And Gohan..
CREATURE: Ha...
PICCOLO: (thinking) Annnnd Master Roshi... And Krillin…
"Piccolo! Now is not the time for this!" Mira shouted.
CREATURE: Me...
PICCOLO: (thinking) And Yamcha. And me, that one time I tried it just to see if I could-
CREATURE: HAAAAAAAAAAA! (fires the blast directly at Piccolo)
"PICCOLO!"
(cut to Trunks flying to Ginger Town)
TRUNKS: Damn it! A duplicate time machine, a monster on the loose, and now an entire city gone missing! And I still don't know where the androids are…
"Just one problem after another," Makarov sighed.
KRILLIN: (suddenly flying right beside Trunks) I know, right? A total fuster-cluck.
TRUNKS: Ah! When did you...? I didn't even feel you!
KRILLIN: I affectionately refer to it as Stealth Mode.
"You should use that more," Freed said.
KRILLIN: So, what are we lookin' at?
TRUNKS: I have no idea... It could be a giant cicada monster for all we know. Hopefully Piccolo will be able to hold his own until — Ah! (stops as he sees a huge blast in the distance)
"Your first guess wasn't off. Let's just hope your second one stands true," Gildarts said.
KRILLIN: So was that Piccolo or Piccolo-Piccolo?
"Bug Piccolo," Natsu answered.
(cut back to Piccolo and the creature in Ginger Town. Piccolo is seen appearing in the sky)
PICCOLO: (thinking) Eh... This thing's just full of surprises...
CREATURE: SURPRISE! (grabs Piccolo from behind)
"You just had to say something," Lucy said, groggily.
NAIL: (Oh, hey, he's behind you.)
"Damn shit, never noticed," Laxus responded, sarcastically.
CREATURE: Howdy, neighbor. (sticks his tail in Piccolo's left arm, causing the Super Namekian to scream) Oh, it must be your first time because you are TIGHT! And unfortunately for you...it's also your last. (starts absorbing Piccolo's arm)
"NO! BREAK OUT, PICCOLO!" Some of the audience members screamed.
NAIL: (Uh, he's drinking your arm!)
PICCOLO: (thinking) I KNOW!
KAMI: (Well, then, do something!)
"Yeah! Do something!" Happy screamed.
PICCOLO: (thinking) I AM! (headbutts the creature in the face and breaks frees of his grasp)
CREATURE: AGH! My beak-mouth! (Piccolo and the creature land on the ground, with Piccolo's left arm now all shriveled up) Oh, God... You're even starting to look like Kami.
KAMI/Makarov: (Dick.)
CREATURE: You sure you don't want me to do the other arm? Even you out? 'Cause that's just distracting.
PICCOLO: Listen, I've obviously lost this fight. Without my arm, I'm finished.
"Wait, but can't he regenerate?" Natsu asked.
NAIL: (Wait, can't you regrow your ar—?)
KAMI: (Shut up, Nail. He's doing the thing.)
"Oh! He's trying to get info out of the bug creature!" Levy realized.
CREATURE: Ah, submission. A second favorite to futile resistance.
PICCOLO: But before you finish me off... (the creature sniggers) ...how about you tell me everything about you?
CREATURE: Oh, weeellll…
"Oh, so it's also an idiot," Macao said.
PICCOLO: Unless you don't have anything important to say.
CREATURE: No, no, it's just...you're the first person to ask me who or what. Normally they just ask...why. Well, to start us off, then: I'm sure by now you're more than familiar with my father, Dr. Gero.
Everyone in the audience groaned at the reveal. None of them should be surprised by the Mad Scientist by this point.
PICCOLO: Oh, goddamn it.
CREATURE: Oh, but wait, there's more. I am purely biomechanical, unlike my brother and sister, Cyborgs 17 and 18.
"Finally, someone properly explains things," Levy muttered as she wrote down the info.
PICCOLO: We call them Androids.
CREATURE: Well, good for you. You're wrong.
"Smartass isn't it," Bickslow remarked.
CREATURE: As I was saying, our father created me with the sole purpose of becoming...perfect. Infused with the genetic makeup of the galaxy's strongest warriors, collected over several decades.
"So that's how it knows their techniques. Gero had been collecting their DNA for years," Jellal reaffirmed.
"Though, what's this whole concept of becoming perfect? Sounds way too ominous," Erza wondered.
PICCOLO: So that's how you know our techniques!
CREATURE: Oh, but I know much more than that. I know that in this timeline, there lies the secret to my true, perfect form. A secret I had all but conceded was lost to me.
PICCOLO: This timeline? So you're from the future. But how?
CREATURE: Oh... (shows a flashback of the creature killing Trunks and stealing his time machine) I found a way. All you need to know is that I am here now, and I will stop at nothing to achieve my perfection.
Everyone stared in shock at the flashback of Trunks' death.
"It killed Trunks," Yukino gasped.
"An alternate version of Trunks, but still," Gildarts clenched his fist in anger.
Even though the creature freaked out the Dragon Slayers, each one felt a growing sense of anger towards the creature for killing Trunks.
PICCOLO: Well, then. I guess I know your story...
CREATURE: You're welcome!
PICCOLO: ...but I don't know your name.
CREATURE: Ah, truth is, I don't really have one. But all things considered, I think I'll go with...Cell.
"Cell…" Wendy felt a weird chill as she said it's name. She didn't know why, but she felt a weird sense of foreboding.
PICCOLO: That's kinda boring…
IMPERFECT CELL: Coming from the guy named after a woodwind instrument. You know what? Doesn't matter anyway. I'ma drink you now.
PICCOLO: Wait! Before that... Do YOU wanna see something cool?
IMPERFECT CELL: Now I know you're playing me...and I do.
(Piccolo rips off his ruined arm and grows a fresh one)
"NOW KICK IT'S ASS!"
IMPERFECT CELL: Oh, that is HARDCORE! Also, not good for me. (Trunks and Krillin land next to Piccolo) Also not good for me! (hops backwards onto a destroyed foundation of a building)
KRILLIN: What the hell is that?!
TRUNKS: (Imperfect Cell breaths raspily) And why is it giving me the most ominous sense of déjà vu?
"Because it killed a different version of you," Levy answered.
IMPERFECT CELL: (flies up) Sorry, kids, not telling the story again! (flies in front of the sun) But I will leave you all enlightened! SOLAR FLARE! (blinds everyone and leaves while laughing evilly)
The Lacrama flashes brightly showing everyone a horrific image of Lucy's Landlady completely naked.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"OH GOD MY EYES!"
"WWWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYY!?"
"SOMEONE FIND THE BLEACH!"
KRILLIN: But that's Tien's thing!
PICCOLO: I F**KING KNOW!
[ENDING SEQUENCE]
[STINGER]
(cut to Vegeta in midair)
VEGETA: Okay, what the hell am I sensing? Is that the Namekian? Is that me? Is that me stronger than me?! I'LL F**KING KILL ME!
Everyone would've been laughing if they weren't still reeling in pain from that horrid image of Lucy's landlady.
Chapter End