Every day for the next fourteen days, I was woken up at the unholiest of hours by a sharp rap at the door, which grew more impatient the longer I waited to scramble out of bed and answer the call. Toyosatomimi no Miko would never enter the room herself – instead, she would knock with increasing ferocity until my concerns were no longer over my own annoyance, but my neighbors'.
Training invariably began with meditation in the dewy surrounds of the Forest, never out of earshot of the Human Village, so we would be able to hear when the first restaurants were being opened. After a simple breakfast of rice porridge and biscuits, we would go to the Myouren Temple, where Byakuren, though not assisting us in person, had very kindly allowed us to use her library. As travel to and from Senkai was now at best a hazardous venture, Miko opted to make use of the Taoist scrolls Byakuren retained for research purposes, of which there were surprisingly many.
Know your enemy and know yourself, and you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. Or so the saying goes.
The rest of the day would be spent indulging in script reading and scroll transcription, amongst other less than remarkable activities. A large portion of it was mundane, menial work, little more than disciplinary toil intended to dull the mind and send one into something of a trance, thus allowing them to "fly with the wind", as Miko described it. Some of what I read, however, was relevant to my understanding of my abilities and of magic as a whole, and I secretly stashed that knowledge away, hoping to make use of it in the future.
One particular scroll described the ultimate goal of all those who followed the Tao, or the "way": to become immortal in every sense of the word, a weightless soul floating in the vast nothingness of the dimension between dimensions. Indeed, a soul that had reached Tao would have the capability to flit through space and time without effort, seeing everything that had ever occurred and would ever occur, as if reading a book of histories and timelines. I wondered if I, too, might be able to reach such a state, given the manner in which my magical abilities operated – assuming I had the patience and longevity to devote myself to what was clearly a decades- or even centuries-long endeavor.
"Do you do this every day?" I asked Toyosatomimi no Miko one morning as we were packing the dog-eared scrolls back into their shelves.
"Do what?"
"All… this. Meditation. Script reading. It's great for the mind, perhaps, but maybe not so much for the development of actual magic."
"But what is magic, if not the will of the mind made manifest?" Miko twirled her finger. "Strong magic requires a strong mind. Have you ever watched Reimu Hakurei fight?"
"I have. Only a couple of times, though."
"She is one of the strongest magicians in the realm, yet most of her days are spent sweeping the Hakurei Shrine's front entrance, making tea, and keeping the Shrine in as immaculate a condition as its age will allow. Once in a while she ventures out to hunt youkai, but that is the extent of her magical expenditure. She attends to her duties every day without fail, and thusly is her willpower sharpened on the whetstone of diligence."
"Isn't that just because she has a natural talent or affinity for magic?"
"Perhaps so. But talent is not in itself magical – it does not create something out of nothing. Talent is a container, and that container must still be filled by effort, work, and sacrifice. Reimu may have a bigger container than most, but an empty container is an empty container, no matter how large its capacity. She has spent years upon years filling it with high-quality material, and the end product is equally pristine."
I nodded. "I see. That makes a lot of sense. Though that does make me wonder about Marisa."
"What about her?"
"By her own admission, she doesn't really discipline herself. She's very much a free spirit. Her and Reimu complement each other in that regard, but it doesn't seem like such behavior would be conducive to magical prowess."
"Well…" Miko let out a breath. "I suppose that's the impression she'd like to give off."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"It may not seem like it, but Marisa is a fervent student of magic – one of the most dedicated people I've ever seen in that regard. If you're wondering if anyone can make it to the highest echelons of power without adopting some form of ascetic regimen, then you should look to her. Marisa is the paragon of such an approach."
"Really? That's… surprising."
"Beneath that rowdy and carefree exterior is a determined soul and a keen mind. Reimu converts her passion into sheer discipline; Marisa simply indulges her insatiable hunger and lets fly. Both approaches are equally valid, and in a way their respective methodologies are reflected in the type of magic they wield. Maybe you should ask her, if you are so interested in knowing," she added, wiggling her eyebrows playfully.
And so that night, as Marisa joined me for dinner in the tavern, I relayed Miko's thoughts to her. She sat in silence for a moment, before leaning back into her chair and snorting loudly.
"It's not as dramatic as Miko makes it sound," she said. "I love magic. It's like having the world's biggest treasure chest inside your mind, and you can go in at any time and pick out whatever you want. Plus, it's useful, too. Not just for me, but for everyone else as well." She noticed my expression softening, and sat back upright. "What?"
"Nothing. It's just that you seem a lot more relaxed now. You've been pretty on edge the past few days."
"Have I?" She rested her head in her hands and glanced lazily at me. "I wonder why. Maybe it's because my favorite pupil – my former pupil, rather – is now in the none-too-safe hands of another teacher, who I still don't fully trust."
"Even after everything we've been through?"
"Especially after everything we've been through." Her eyebrows crinkled slightly. "She hasn't been teaching you any actual magic, has she?"
I shook my head. "It's mainly just been mind training and a lot of reading. She wants me to be able to handle stronger magic, so she's putting me through the motions."
"Honestly, I can't see why all that is necessary. But I guess if it works, it works. She's no slouch herself."
"Just think of it as a trial period. A couple weeks with her, a couple weeks with you. Maybe we'll get Reimu and Byakuren to help me out, too."
"Wouldn't that be something. The four best magic users in all of Gensokyo, tutoring a lowly human traveler."
We polished off our dinners and returned to my room to get away from the noise. There was no need for a candle tonight – the moon, three-quarters of the way on its journey to fullness, poured a steady stream of blue light across the floorboards, for once unopposed by the blanket of clouds that usually obscured its glow.
"The full moon's in a week," I noted as I stared out at the streets. The Village at night was nowhere near as packed as the metropolitan bustle of the lands beyond the Barrier, but a gathering of hundreds of people could still be lively if it needed to be. It was easier to get to know people if there were less people to begin with, especially considering the only humans that lived outside the Village were lunatics or powerful magicians – not that the two were mutually exclusive. Shopkeepers stood outside their stores, chatting to their neighbors, some sitting side by side and sharing their food.
Heartwarming, to be sure. Something that would probably never happen in the cold world that I once inhabited, a world full of strangers instead of friends.
"You think Keine will be able to tell you what you want to know?" Marisa asked quietly.
"I hope so. If anything, it might tell me something about why I came here – that is, if there was a reason at all."
"Why do you want to know about your past so much?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. Honestly, I could probably go my whole life not knowing, and simply spend the rest of my days here in peace. But it's in my nature to want to know. Now that I've been given a hint, I can't just let it go like that. I have to chase the thread down, wherever it may lead."
"Yes, of course." I heard a rustling noise as Marisa eased herself onto my bed. "I would expect nothing less. I just… can't shake the feeling that I wouldn't like the answer if I heard it."
"You mean about what it means to be a 'chronicler'?"
"Not just that," Marisa muttered. "About your past. About everything, really. Remember the last time I was up here?"
"I do. Like I said back then, it's possible – likely, even – that I'd still want to stay here." I remembered the morose look in her eyes as she turned away, the unexpected guilt I felt at subjecting her to the specter of a lost friend. I had failed to notice just how attracted I had grown to their company – but even more than that, I had failed to notice how strongly those feelings were reciprocated.
Marisa was perhaps the only maiden who was willing to be so straightforward about such emotional vulnerabilities. How did Reimu, or even Byakuren and Miko, really feel about me? Would it even be prudent for me to ask?
"You know, Reimu might not seem it, but she wants you to stick around as much as I do," Marisa said, as if reading my thoughts. "Call it boredom, call it fascination with the outside world. Call it friendship, even. But you're more than just a mere object of curiosity to us. At the very least, you're our friend. And seeing you so desperate to dig up your past, in the hopes that you might find some reason to leave… It hurts, even if we don't readily admit it."
She chuckled and cleared her throat. "Of course, it's not our place to tell you not to go. That's a choice only you can make."
I turned to face her. She wore an unusually serene smile as she sat next to my pillow, made ever the more elegant by the moonlight's gentle caresses. But the absence of the usual twinkle in her eyes, and the way her expression seemed to fall away as I scrutinized her youthful features, told me that hers was not a look of acceptance, but of resignation.
Seeing her in such an apparently helpless state – her thin shoulders curled, her hands clasped in silence – my body moved on instinct, my mind bidding it do the first thing that came to my head.
My legs moved over to her, stopping as my feet touched hers. My arms pulled themselves forwards, and wrapped Marisa in a loose embrace.
For an agonizing moment, there was nothing but silence ringing in my ears.
Then, I felt a pair of hands creep onto my back. Marisa rested her head on my chest, letting her hat fall onto the bed, and from there I knew she could hear my heart pounding as heavily as it had ever done.
"I'm sorry for worrying you," I murmured.
Marisa shook her head and looked up at me, her eyes round with surprise, yet also sparkling slightly. "Don't be sorry. Like I said, it's up to you. I don't want you to feel like I'm getting in the way."
"Far from it. I've always appreciated your opinions, and your company. Right now, leaving is the last thing I feel like doing."
I do not know how long we stayed in that position, but it felt like an eternity at the time. Seconds stretched into minutes. At long last, I put my hands on Marisa's shoulders, and extricated myself from her grasp.
Her golden locks shimmered like gossamer threads. Her cheeks were flushed and rosy red. Her lips were parted, revealing a breathless gasp.
"I think it's time we went to sleep," I said quickly as I looked away.
"I agree. It's late." Marisa stood, returned her hat to its rightful place, and departed from my room without another word.
A sudden exhaustion overcame me, and I collapsed onto the bed, willing slumber to still my racing thoughts.