Both in life and death, Angel Dust had been examined by quite a few medical professionals. Sometimes it was for STDs, others abuse, and there were the few times when the "Doctors" didn't practice your traditional medicine, and that doesn't exclusively mean drugs. But of all the people he ever expected to examine him, including the Slayer though admittedly that was in his fantasies, he NEVER would've humored the possibility of God giving him one. And yet, here they were, both him and Vega alone in a room for privacy's sake while the others continued receiving their Argent energy.
"Vega...I know you've got to be thorough and everything...but this is really fucking weird...could you please hurry it up?" He requested, quite possibly the ONLY time he felt awkward being naked.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you a pornstar?" Vega responded though he did so with a somewhat cheerful tone as the spider demon's sudden shyness amused him.
"Yeah. But getting naked around people who're so close with you could call them family is weird. On top of that, you're God." He said.
"I must admit, I didn't know you felt that close to me," Vega told him.
"Well...yeah...you and Will both...but Will in a more bring into the family kind of way...you give off the same energy as the one family member you rarely see, but they always bring you presents and makes you happy type..." He explained, causing him to laugh.
"I'd say that's one of the most unique yet accurate ways anyone's ever described me." Vega said, "But still, you shouldn't feel shy. I've seen the worst creation has to offer in regards to abominations of the flesh. Your sudden acquisition of female breasts is nowhere near that measure of appalling." He assured.
"...You can call them boobs, you know. No need to be so scientific." Angel Dust replied, once more making him laugh.
"If that will make this less awkward for you, then sure." He agreed before moving back a small distance, "Alright. I've looked over as much of you as I can without examining your insides. You can get dressed now." He instructed.
"Oh, thank fuck." Angel Dust breathed with a sigh of relief as he reached for his clothes, "So...did you discover any other weird fucking changes?" He asked.
"No. I'll confess, I was expecting to find a vagina," Vega answered, which sent Angel Dust into a frenzy.
"WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT?!" He questioned, "WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU LOOKING FOR THAT?!" He asked.
"You grew boobs, Angel. It was a reasonable assumption that you'd have female genitalia as well. Either in replacement of your penis or alongside it." Vega explained.
"Geez..." He sighed as he started to pull his underwear up his legs, "Next time, PLEASE tell the person you're giving a full-body exam that you're looking for new holes. A lot less heart-attack-inducing that way." He requested.
"Hopefully, none of the others will share your experience. I believe we've all had our fill of surprises for today." Vega said before getting back to business, "Returning our attention to the matter at hand, I discovered that you didn't acquire any more genitalia. The only addition to your body is what brought us to this examination in the first place." He informed.
"Good to know I won't have to piss out of two separate places or some crazy shit like that." Angel Dust joked while putting on his mini skirt, "So, if I didn't turn into a woman. Or whatever you call the in-between-"
"Hermaphrodite," Vega said.
"Right, that." He responded while pointing towards the creator, "Then...what the hell am I now?" He asked.
"You're you," Vega answered.
"I mean scientifically." He clarified.
"I know. But the scientific answer is incredibly long-winded and overwhelmingly complex. Which is why I chose the short but still entirely truthful answer of you." Vega explained.
"Why is the science answer some heavily worded thing, whereas if I had a pussy I'd be called by hermaprho or whatever?" He questioned.
"Hermaphrodite would merely be the proper term used to describe a creature who has both forms of reproductive organs. But even if you WERE a hermaphrodite that wouldn't describe you in your entirety." Vega began as he put his hands behind his back, "You see, you and the others are essentially becoming a new species. A collection of individuals whose souls are comprised of Argent energy, and they shall be called Argenta." He informed.
"Argenta? Really? You couldn't think of anything better?" Angel Dust asked with a smirk while putting on his shirt.
"We'll workshop it." He answered, "My point is, that regardless of if you had both genitalia, a vagina only, or as it turned out, you kept your penis. That's only describing the standard classification of your gender, not what you are in your entirety as an entity." He explained.
"...Okay, now you've lost me." Angel Dust said with a confused expression, "Look. Just tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to be now, k? Because that science shit is going right over my head." He told him.
"As I said before, you're you," Vega repeated, causing him to sigh.
"But what does that MEAN Vega?! Can't you explain this to me in a way I can understand?!" He asked.
Taking that question to heart, Vega became quiet as he wanted his response to being what Angel hoped to receive.
"...Angel, do you remember how you used to be when you were on earth?" He inquired.
"Obviously, it was no different from how I've always acted." Angel Dust replied.
"So, you've always been flirtatious then? Enjoyed having sex, putting on makeup, wearing clothes meant for women, and were sexually attracted to men?" He followed up.
"What you see is what you get. Whether it's human, demon, or Argenta if that's what you're gonna call it." Angel Dust confirmed.
"And as a demon, although it was used in your work as a pornstar, you embraced the idea of using the fur on your chest as a stand-in for actual breasts. Even though you never had a reason to do so as your sexual partners mostly cared about your mouth or...well, you know." He stated.
"...Where the fuck are you going with this Vega?" Angel Dust asked.
"Isn't it possible that you aren't simply gay?" He answered with a question, "Think about it carefully. Like anyone else's in Lucifer's circle, your demon form was a realization of your inner sins. Things that were either genuinely evil about you or things you saw in yourself. Using Katie as an example, she was a cutthroat businesswoman willing to bite the heads off of anyone who got in her way. Hence she was transformed into a mantis demon when she arrived in Hell. The same goes for you as well." He told him.
"...How so?..." Angel Dust questioned, hesitant to hear the rest but also intrigued.
"For starters, you and your family are all spiders, which makes sense given that you all were a part of a crime syndicate that dealt with drugs. Drugs that needed to be injected into a person's veins, much like how a spider must do the same with their venom. But then we study the details of your appearance in particular, from the fur on your chest that you used as breasts, your legs which were altered to fit perfectly with long stockings and high heeled boots, and the other pieces of your body that transformed to bring out your femininity. It all leads to the same conclusion." He explained.
After that, silence came between them, for Angel Dust knew the conclusion. But it wasn't that he was ashamed of it or anything, fuck no, he embraced it without any hesitation or regret. And yet, there was something that Vega said that bothered him, that he needed clarification on before they went anywhere else on this topic.
"...So...you're saying that when I became a demon...my body changed to represent who I was inside my soul...or something like that, right?..." He asked.
"Yes," Vega answered.
"But you also said that when you go to Hell...it's your sins or corruption or whatever that dictate how you look...so...does that mean the real me is...evil?..." He questioned.
"No. It doesn't." Vega assured before coming closer so he could put a hand on his shoulder, "Angel. Make no mistake. You weren't sent to Hell because of who you are. You were sent to Hell because you sold potentially lethal drugs to people, killed more with Thompson submachine guns, and committed a sizeable number of other evil acts. But drugs are the thing that your life was centered around, whether it was personal, family, or business. THAT is what turned you and your kin into demons. But the vibrant pinks that compliment your snowy white hair and skin, those striking eyes filled with passion and lust that entice any soul who looks at them, and your sexy figure and way of acting, that is you and you alone. And YOU are NOT evil." He said as sternly as possible.
Unable to keep himself from smiling when he heard that. Angel Dust, overcome with relief and joy, threw himself at Vega and hugged him as tightly as he could.
"Thanks, Vega." He spoke quietly, burying his face slightly into his chest, "Coming from you of all people, that's probably the greatest thing I've ever heard in my life." He confessed.
"I'm honored." Vega replied as he gently put a hand on his head, "So, does this mean you want to keep them? Because if not, I could give you a flat masculine chest instead." He offered, just in case that's what he wanted.
"No. Like you told us; this is how we want to appear. The Argent energy makes it possible, finally." Angel Dust said as he pulled away, a smile present on his face, "Besides. Katie's got an AMAZING rack on her, and Nifty's got a perkiness about her too. I've already got an awesome ass, but with these babies, there's no way they stand a chance." He told him proudly.
"Ah, there's the sex-driven spider I've come to know so well." Vega responded, happy to see him back to his old self, "And now that we've got this all sorted, what say we head back and see if the others are finished by now? Once you are through dressing, that is." He suggested.
"Oh shit, that's right, damn, I bet Cherri's a hot piece of ass now." Angel Dust realized before quickly resuming his dressing, "I mean, she was hot already. But if THIS is what that machine did to ME, holy fuck, she's gotta be smoking." He said.
"You know, I didn't redesign that machine to make anyone sexy..." Vega reminded for it seemed the perception of the divinity machine was progressively getting further off track.
"Could've fooled me." He replied.
Elsewhere...
"Hmm...I don't mean to be rude, but after Angel's shocking transformation, I must admit, all of yours are rather mundane." Alastor commented as he looked everyone over.
True to the radio demon's claim, the others' new appearances weren't too drastically different from how they looked before. One universal consistency between them all was the addition of a healthier amount of meat to their bones, as well as a rearranging of their faces, heads, and bodies to be more regular than they were before. Honestly, all of them, more a less each, received one significant change beyond the ones mentioned above and nothing else. As for what they were, here is the list of those whose appearances were affected:
Cherri Bomb now had two eyes rather than a single large one, which made her so happy she WOULDN'T shut up about it.
Vagatha regained her left eye.
Vox's head changed from a television to a sleeker, more natural design, think high tech robot DJ where his digital face appears on the visor/front.
And lastly, Sir Pentious, whose face changed to bear a much stronger resemblance to that of an actual snake's, for he had become quite fond of the whole demon reptile thing he had going on.
Charlie, Stolas, Millie, and Moxxie were natives of Hell, so their appearances didn't change. The same applied to Alastor, Husk, and Velvet. All three genuinely preferred their demon forms and didn't want anything different. That left a certain red-haired demon woman to be the oddball out, for she, Loona, Octavia, and Stella couldn't enter the machine until the others went back to training.
"What were you expecting?" Vagatha questioned while crossing her arms, "We look human for the most part as it was, excluding Sir Pentious, who wanted to be even more of a snake than he already is." She said.
"Don't pretend it isn't badass!" He exclaimed with a proud smug expression spread across his reptilian face, "With my resemblance to a cobra even stronger than it was before, NO ONE can deny how amazing I am now!" He asserted.
"Oh really? Then why don't you go ask those nice Sentinels at the forge what they think about it?" Cherri suggested with an evil grin.
"You know what? Fine! I will!" He agreed as he didn't want her to have any satisfaction from mocking him.
"Don't." Vox interjected, doing so by placing a hand on his shoulder, "She's trying to bait you. And somehow, you're allowing it to work." He warned.
"Yeah! Don't listen to her! I think you look cool!" Velvet exclaimed.
"Pfft, sure he does. ESPECIALLY when he's standing next to DJ techno head." She taunted.
"Why're you acting as if you turned into a supermodel? ALL you got was two normal eyes to replace the basketball-sized one you had!" Sir Pentious countered.
"Don't take the gift of having two eyes so lightly..." Nifty muttered as she sat on the ground. Her eye somewhat distant while it stared at the floor.
"Man, she NEEDS to go into that machine." Cherri said before focusing back on their conversation, "But as I was saying, Vaggie explained it herself. We privileged few already bore a strong resemblance to what we looked like physically as humans. We just needed a tune-up. But YOU need a complete overhaul. Snake face or not; you still look like a dork." She told him with a smirk.
"Why is it your life's mission to ruin any joy I can have at any point in time?" He asked.
"We all have our hobbies~" She teased.
"THAT'S NOT A HOBBY! THAT'S BEING A CUNT!" He argued, now getting angry.
"Excuse me, mister BJ, sir?" Millie spoke to the Slayer's ancestor as those two started going back and forth, "Are you and the Wretch not going to undergo the procedure like us?" She asked.
"If Will doesn't say I need it, then no." He answered.
"And I already utilize Argent. It's via my suit rather than my soul." The Wretch answered for himself.
"How come? Wouldn't it be easier if it was your soul instead?" She suggested.
"Yes, it would. But...the nature of my soul is not typical...one could even say it's not mine, to begin with." He replied.
"That sounds...ominous and tragic." She told him.
"It is. And I dearly hope there is a solution." He admitted.
But before Millie or anyone else could ask him for more details, two individuals rejoined the group as they entered through the still-open doorway.
"Hey! Angel!" Cherri greeted before she rushed over to him, "Is everything okay? There's nothing wrong, is there?" She asked.
"Nah, everything's good. Vega gave me a once over and told me what I already knew, that I was a sexy fucking beast." He answered.
"He was quite shy in front of me, a timidness I didn't know he was capable of." Vega shared, undermining everything he JUST said.
"VEGA. WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?!" He questioned, causing Cherri to burst out laughing.
"Aw, were you shy showing God your titties?" She asked, which only made her laugh harder.
"JUST BECAUSE I HAVE BOOBS NOW DOESN'T MEAN I WON'T KICK YOUR ASS!" He threatened as he grabbed her by the shoulders and started shaking her violently.
"Ahem..." The Slayer spoke up, instantly gaining everyone's attention, "I hate to be the one to break up this funny moment between you two...but now that all of you have received Argent energy, we need to start your training for today..." He said.
"I couldn't agree more." Vega responded as he clapped his hands, "Since Charlie and I train together, we will remain here and wait for the others to receive Argent themselves before we head out. But the rest of you need to leave ASAP." He instructed.
"Alright, troops. Back to the grindstone." BJ said as he, the Slayer, and the Wretch led the way.
Following behind with no objections, the only ones left in the sanctum after a few seconds were Vega, Charlie, Stella, Octavia, Loona with Daisy, Nifty, and Gabriel.
"Psst, Angel." Katie whispered to him as they walked next to each other, "All joking aside, you doing okay?" She asked, wanting to be sure.
"I'm...not entirely sure. It's a lot to take in knowing that deep down I...wanted this, I think? Vega and I still need to talk about it." He answered before a smile appeared, "Although I can safely say that for the first time I can remember, both in this life and the last, it feels good to be wearing my skin. If that makes any sense." He told her.
"It does. Don't worry." She assured with a smile of her own.